Will You Accept this Prose?

Let’s all let out a big sigh of relief because Kaitlyn Bristowe's season of The Bachelorette is over! Now, we just have to talk about who gets the ring, who gets their heart broken, and who refuses to hug who. A brief note about a brief segment at the end of the episode: if you’re still watching Claire Crawley/Tayshia Adams’ season of The Bachelorette, please stop.   Featured Topics: Let’s all raise our standards (except Max), Nick finally meets the old hag, and New Bracelet gets a ring 

This episode is about the men-tell-all, I GUESS! So few questions answered, and so few men talk. So, you could call this episode of The Bachelorette the Some Men Tell Some episode. Join us as we discuss Ian and Kaitlyn’s breakup, JJ and Clint’s breakup, and how Ben has been doing since Ben and Kaitlyn’s breakup. If there is ONE THING you MUST take away from this episode of The Bachelorette, it’s that Clint is STRAIGHT for sure, for sure, for sure, and that Clorox is NOT a sponsor.   Featured Topics: Ian’s a cool professor down on his knees, CLINT IS STRAIGHT, and the idiotic and colossal failure that is Disney’s Animal Kingdom

Whoa! Another late episode?!? Who could've ever seen this coming? Well, listen, everything is hard for a lot of folks right now, but it seems like everything was harder for the people involved with Kaitlyn Bristowe's season of The Bachelorette! This episode is our wildest one yet, and not because it was a wild episode of the show, but because we manage to masterfully avoid discussing the actual episode all that much, and even mix up Shawn and Nick's names a few times. So lower your expectations, turn off your brain, and come with us on this wild adventure!    If you don't believe how crazy this episode gets, just check out these Featured Topics: Trashy Little Trampy Earth Mind, a Hallmark car movie, and tweet this episode at Carole Baskin

Make sure to put the kids to bed before you sit down to enjoy this remarkably explicit episode of Will You Accept this Prose?, because it's remarkably explicit! We call out Nick Viall, we discuss Kaitlyn's sexual history, and we discuss the many mistakes made by absolutely everyone involved with this season of The Bachelorette! You'll laugh, you'll grow angry, and you'll be staggered by Max's best attempt to figure out what exactly happened in It's a Wonderful Life.   Featured Topics: Tweet this episode at Nick Viall, Kaitlyn's object permanence, and Max finally references, "what are those?"

Can you believe it? All podcasts stopped for two weeks! Don’t worry, we’re here to officially get podcasts started again with this, another episode of Will You Accept this Prose? Sure, our last episode came out two weeks ago, but that was before all podcasters got sent to the Shadow Dimension! We’re just glad we were able to bust out so that we could tell all of you about the 8th episode of Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season of The Bachelorette! One man cries on a cliff, one man sadly sits on some steps, and one man just can’t avoid himself any longer   Featured Topics: “So, You Think You Can Date,” JJ’s edgy poetry, and driving stick

We hope you like thunder, ‘cause this episode gots some in the background! This season, a Fantasy Suite comes early! In this episode, Ian makes his proud, but dishonorable, exit, Shawn gets real P.O.’d, and Kaitlyn finally does that dirty, dirty deed. The editors really had a heyday with this one while the producers took a bit of a backseat, so we’re kind of off-kilter. Nevertheless, we do our best to cover a weird cocktail party, an inappropriate one-on-one, and a distasteful group date.   Featured Topics: Kaitlyn’s Middle School Origami Fun Hour, Britt’s mom banishes Brady into the Friend Zone, and Princeton’s ONE educational failure

Wow... This episode is extra late and extra long, but it's also just... Wow. Here's the bad news: we're as hooked and confused by this episode as the average, unquestioning viewer, and it sucks. We don't like Nick, but how do the men in the house feel about him? Can we trust what Joshua has to say about the men's feelings? WHAT ARE WE EVEN DOING ANYMORE??? At least we meet a new, sexy friend this episode.   Featured Topics: the gift you unwrap for life, Nick's Bachelorette Pro Tips, and who is Richard Firmrod?

Well, this one’s about episode 5 of Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season of The Bachelorette, and she gets a little iffy on us here. The boys give their best performances in two wildly different types of musical entertainment, Jared goes on a lonely one-on-one date, and a new challenger approaches. Get ready for a new day, a new bad guy, and some new show tunes.   Featured Topics: The Knicker-Redenbacher Popcorn Hotel, JJ’s playlist, and Max’s beatboxing trauma

THERE’S NOT ENOUGH ANALYSIS ON THIS ANALYSIS PODCAST! Join us as we attempt to find producer and editor influence in episode four of Kaitlyn Bristowe's season of The Bachelorette. In this episode, the boys are back at it again with another fighting date, but one contestant is not having it. Also, a tender romance begins to blossom, but not where you might think.   Featured Topics: Babe Soda, Tony's Journey to the Center of the Earth, and Brokeback Mountain: Bachelorette Edition

Hey, guys, we have really warmed up to Kaitlyn. This episode is a little long, but so much wild stuff happened in episode 3 of Kaitlyn Bristowe’s season of The Bachelorette. Finally we get some dates! Kaitlyn gives the men a chance to let out their toxic masculinity, and Ben Z. really goes for it, and on the second group date, JJ’s highly intellectual humor sucks the funny right out of the room. There is a one-on-one date, and it was just fine. Unfortunately, the people in the…”studio” above us refused to turn down their devil music, so if you catch a few of their nasty beats, know that we did our best to edit them out.   Featured Topics: Ben Z. as “The Incredible Hulk Hogan,” the closest Amy Schumer has ever come to being funny, and Kupah’s betrayal

TW: Unfortunately, one contestant makes a joke about sexual assault, and we had to briefly discuss it.   If the title didn’t tell ya, Ryan M. sucks so hard. We’re onto a season of The Bachelorette, and it starts out very rough. We’ll break down the terrible two-part season 11 premier, and do our best to give you hope that this season is even slightly worth your attention. We meet the bachelorette(s), Britt Nilsson and Kaitlyn Bristowe, and a menagerie of fools. We’re back, we’re funnier, the show we’re watching is worse.   Featured Topics: Kaitlyn’s bathroom break(?), a capella Chippendales, and the many ways in which Ryan M. sucks

At long last we have reached the end of Jason Mesnick's season of The Bachelor! In the last proper episode of the season, Jason returns to the Bachelor studio to discuss his new, controversial relationship as everyone else mercilessly dunks on him. Finally, we get to answer the question on everyone's mind. Jason Mesnick: Dud or stud?   Featured Topics: Everybody Hates Jason, BNWE (Bachelor Nation Wrestling Entertainment), and a great hero returns for the last time

Bad news, guys: he chose Melissa, but he didn’t want to fight for Melissa. Join us for this terrifically uncomfortable experience, as we witness the death and resurrection of the phoenix that is Jason Mesnick’s love life.   Featured Topics: Max reveals his true identity, Kenzi ruins it a little, and both of them question their faith in Chris Harrison

Heads up, everybody. This is a bumpy recap of an even bumpier season finale. In this episode, Molly and Melissa meet Jason's family, and Jason finally chooses his wife(?). Oh! Also, Max takes an irreverent look at some childhood traumas.   Featured Topics: THE CLONES, How I Didn't Meet Melissa's Mother, and Miracle on Frisbee Street

Settle in for all the dark and seedy truths behind Jason Mesnick’s season of The Bachelor. In this episode, we get a lot of good time with not a lot of the contestants as they tell us what really happened in the Bachelor Mansion.   Featured Topics: Natalie, I Know What You Did in that Tent, and a returning hero

Jason Mesnick can’t help but wonder: do these girls just wanna have fun? There’s no better time to ask than on Sex Week! 3 women, 3 Fantasy Suites, 3 weeks of sexual recovery for Jason.   Featured Topics: Jason’s contemplative stunt, Return of the BumpIt, and Jason’s first ALMOST good suit

Watch out for that dove! Buckle up for the whackiest hometown in Bachelor history! Jason goes to visit three women’s families, and one woman’s shitty friend group.   Featured topics: grandma’s boxers, dad’s beer hat, and mom’s dead dove

Cry along with us as we discuss the saddest episode in Bachelor history. 5 women go to Seattle. 3 women go on the radio. 1 woman goes to Dick’s Sporting Goods. 1 hero goes home. We’ve got a lot to talk about.   Featured topics: Oops! All Scarves, what to call the contestants, and tonsil play

Lauren will be pissed if you give anyone but her a rose.   Featured topics: love songs we hate, a prideful walk of shame, and So Nikki Thinks She Can Dance

If you thought the contestants of Jason Mesnick’s season of The Bachelor were being sexualized before, just wait until you get a load of this! You’ll learn a lot about female anatomy and just a little about Natalie.   Featured topics: boobs for sale, shoulder checking, and a $1 million necklace

Those two literary nerds, Max Churchwell and Kenzi Brenton, are at it again! We take a look at the trials and tribulations of the second episode of Jason Mesnick’s season of The Bachelor.   Featured topics: The Sauerkraut Greaser, 2000’s fashion, and The Jason Mesnick Quiz Show

Welcome to the first episode of Will You Accept this Prose? A podcast where two nerds analyze the narrative created by the producers and editors throughout Jason Mesnick's season of The Bachelor! Before we can discuss the narrative, let's meet all the women competing for Jason's heart! Featured contestants: Hot Dog Lady, Tooth Lady, and The Salsa Colonizer.