Am I a wanker?

Celebrating your success on NoFap keeps that positive energy going. You build momentum and you start to feel good. The better you feel, the less likely a relapse becomes. You've got this.

Wow, I finally hit the beautiful milestone of 90 days of Nofap! Finally!!!! It genuinely has taken me 8 years to get this far, but I look back and I am not surprised. When I started out on this journey I was so clueless and it's taken a lot of personal development, increased self-awareness, meditation, online courses, podcasts, books and the wonderful community on Brainbuddy to help get me to where I am today. A lot of content was actually very detrimental on my journey, especially the willpower-based stuff and the shaming for relapses. Jeez, I wish I knew what I do now back then. Oh well, it only makes me more passionate about sharing what I've learned. So, in this episode I share how I am finding 90 days of nofap so far and why thoughts and beliefs matter so much more than your actions when trying to give up porn. Enjoy the episode and check out thomasmolyneux.com if you're interested in my coaching service. Cheers, Tom

In today's episode of the 'Am I a wanker?' podcast I was joined by Kristina Tiessen, an ex dominatrix. Kristina is now a porn and sex addiction coach. During her journey as a dominatrix she discovered a lot about men's desires, where they come from and how men can improve their life and live shame-free whilst exploring areas of themselves. Going full circle from a libertine approach towards sex to a more conservative perspective, Kristina helped explain some strategies for regaining control of the lower brain and how the mind and body needs to be connected to deal with urges. I hope you enjoy the podcast and have a great rest of your day!

Have you ever had a wank and afterwards you think to yourself, 'who did that?'. Almost as if it wasn't you who made the decision. You proceed to feel frustrated and annoyed at yourself. An internal conflict proceeds which makes the whole situation so much worse. Yeah, you're not going crazy. It's likely that the part that acted out, actually is very different to the part of you which makes most decisions. I recently read a book called 'The Sum of Our Parts' which I think will truly change my life forever. In today's episode I talk about: How we have several parts How our parts are trying to serve us How our parts are often much younger than us Why we should try and build healthy relationships with our parts How we can understand our own needs better Understanding parts can help us identify as an addict less I hope you enjoy today's episode and go and listen to The Sum of Our Parts.

I first discovered Craig and The Mindful Habit in June 2020. Last year, when I lost my online business due to a range of factors (Mostly outside of my control), I wanted to see if I could use my marketing skills to help The Mindful Habit in any way that I could, and so I became an affiliate and I've done some work for The Mindful Habit ever since. I've been lucky enough to work with Craig for over a year now and I honestly don't think I have learned more from anyone else than from him in these last 12 months. Although I have not been coached directly by Craig, I did join his group coaching program and learned loads there and from his free content. Craig and his wife Michelle are really great people who inspire me tremendously and I feel really fortunate that I have been able to create a connection with them and for all of the help that The Mindful Habit have provided me. It was a privilege to have Craig on the show to talk about his struggle with pornography and for him to provide plenty of advice on how to give up porn. When I listened back to this episode to edit it, I found myself learning even more. We discussed how the current disease-based addiction model is inadequate, why you need to make a habit to break a habit, how focusing on the problem is not enough, being bad at not doing something, feeding the right wolf, porn not being the root cause, embracing your power of choice, simping and much more. I really hope that you can take something away from this episode and go and check Craig out on YouTube, social media, his podcast and also at www.themindfulhabit.com

Wow, it is now April and I recorded this podcast back in December. Hopefully it is worth the wait and apologies for editing out the first 30 seconds or so (There was a different podcast name blah blah blah). Anyway... Have you ever wondered whether you should tell your partner about your porn habit? How will she react? How does she feel about it if you have already told her? How much have you told her? Yeah these questions can be quite overwhelming. Fortunately, in this episode, were joined by Jolene Winn, a certified life coach helping women overcome their husband's pornography addiction and host of the podcast - 'The Porn Addict's Wife'. Watching porn can definitely impact your partner and Jolene Winn, our guest in today's episode, knows all about this as her husband used to be addicted to porn. We discussed Jolene's work, whether men should tell their partner about their porn use, how much to tell their partner and we also talked a bit about guilt, shame and how to give up pornography in general. So, thanks a lot for listening and I hope you have an amazing day.

Last week I was in Italy having a great time on holiday. But, when I was all done eating delicious food and socialising with my family I would return back to my room and feel quite heavy. I felt I was crashing following the high of such a brilliant day. When I was on the plane home, I came up with a metaphor for we need to deal with our urges and temptations to act out when we are feeling heavy emotions or not feeling so good. I hope this podcast is useful to you and that you have a great day!

Hey! Have you ever looked at porn and felt ashamed, guilt and frustrated with yourself? I certainly used to! But, what I have discovered since those days is that these feelings and thoughts do not help, they do not serve us. In this podcast, I share my top 5 tips on how to deal with a setback. I hope that this podcast is useful and that you can put your setback behind you and start working towards your goals again.

The temporary nature of thought is an epiphany that is foundational on our journey towards permanent freedom. Let me say it again, the temporary nature of thought is an epiphany that is foundational on our journey towards permanent freedom? For 8 years I struggled to give up looking at porn. But what I had not realised was that I was focusing on giving something up. I was focusing on 'not doing something'. This did not work. Problems don't get fixed by focusing on the problem, they get fixed by finding the solutions. You can find The Mindful Habit here: https://www.themindfulhabitonline.com/a/12590/MSGsMnAF Cheers for listening and I hope you have a great day.

Hey! Ever felt like a 'wanker?'. Sort of like you're not good enough because you keep touching yourself and you feel like you can't control yourself? Yeah, I once felt like that too. It's not much fun. And back when I felt like that, I felt an enormous amount of frustration with myself. I've finally become, I think, free from the shackles of my own afflictions and I'm here to share my journey, what works, what doesn't work and keep you updated on my experience of living a life without porn. Cheers for listening and enjoy the podcast.