Finding Words in Hard Times - the podcast

Holidays and holiday gatherings can be challenging in the best of times. Not every family is a Hallmark movie. In times of grief, they are more complicated. I understand that sense of complication. One Christmas, Nancy and I gave small gifts to my family. They were the tiny-size baby food jars with a little note […]

Sometimes we are surprised when simple things remind us of our loved one. And remind us of our loss. But what if these moments aren't because something is wrong with us (I mean other than the main thing that's wrong.) The answer to these sudden reminders is that there isn't anything wrong with us. There […]

Even when a death is recent, sometimes people take a break from crying. Sometimes people laugh. These “breaks” don't mean, however, that grief is over. That we are “all better.” Far from it. We aren't disappointing anyone if we have a break from the hard work of grief. We are surviving. And if anyone says, […]

Most of us have been told that we need to be strong at the time of loss.  We hear a voice telling us to be strong for the kids, for our mom, for the family. But what if we don't need to be strong for anyone? This week I'll talk about that and read a […]

Almost every time I'm in a room after a death (I'm a hospital chaplain), someone will talk about not being able to think clearly. A name will disappear from their memory, a story will lose its way. In today's episode we'll talk a little about that. And I read from my book, This is Hard, […]

A few years back, a friend got a difficult diagnosis in her family. She reached out to see if I had any suggestions of what might be helpful to her family. Though we know that death is inevitable, at these moments we realize that it's nearer than expected. This episode isn't about giving up. Instead, […]

The Dual Process Model of Coping with Bereavement has been guiding how I help people for more than a year. In this podcast episode, I describe the model and talk about why it's helpful. If you are looking for a way to describe what is going on in the days and weeks and lifetime after […]

In August, 2022, I created a survey for people who had lost a loved one. I asked four core questions about their experience after a death: what they found helpful in 1) what people said or 2) did or 3) gave in grief support materials, and 4) what people wish someone had said or done. […]

It's time to talk about timing. Finding words in hard times means paying attention to time and timing. I talk about my history in rhetoric, about Jesus being great with timing in conversations about loss, and my idea of seconds, minutes, days, weeks, months, years, lifetimes. Make some tea or some coffee and let's get […]

Rob Hatch is a coach, a writer, and a friend of mine. And so we had a conversation. We talk about frameworks and Rob's newest book, Success Frames, we unpack why “This is hard” and “remember the best time” are helpful frameworks for conversations. We talk about choosing the kind of attention we want to […]

Here it is. The first episode of “Finding Words in Hard Times – the podcast.” In which I talk about why “this is hard” is an important thing to say. And I talk about the feel of this podcast. Make some tea or some coffee and let's get started. Mentioned in this episode. Clarissa Moll […]

Welcome to Finding Words in Hard Times: the podcast. Where we provide stories and tools to help you be more comfortable as you help others in hard times. In this preview episode, we talk about why I'm taking my experience as a hospital chaplain, a college professor, a pastor, and a writer into this new […]