The Great YA Quest

He did it.No, he did it.No, he did it.(Break to talk about how you want to date your best friend.)No no no, HE did it. Nevermind, it was definitely HIM who did it.(Pause to break up with your brother-from-another-mother who you never actually got together with but you really wanted to because he is so cussing good looking.)Ahhh, now we've got it. HE did it.We've got missing people, we've got best friends who want to be best friends with best benefits, and we've got a cover with a creepy doll. Let's roll.

Ahh, boy bands. They reek of sweat, hotels, and the tears of psychotic fangirls. When a pack of four of the craziest fangirls capture one of them and hold him hostage, what can go wrong? A lot of things, apparently. But a lot of things can also go right, like unreliable narrators, surprisingly deep discussions of the dangerous role that oversexualization can play, and darkness enough to make even my deadened soul beat fast with joy.

If you want to know the lifestyle lived by gods, read Warbreaker by Brandon Sanderson. If you want to know the lifestyle lived by monsters, read nearly anything by Stephen King. But if you want to know why the Princess of Crete is willing to help the Prince of Athens undermine her family's empire by ending the reality TV show that they've built around feeding idiot teen athletes to the Minotaur, then read The Lifestyles of Gods and Monsters. (Hint: it may or may not have to do with the prince being damn fine. And he may or may not have a particular YA Boi scent that will leave you thinking twice about your toothpaste.)  

In this, episode three of our glorious Quest, a recording location reshuffle marks a near fatal dip in audio quality but NEVER FEAR because just like Mulan in this book, we fight our way up from the underworld to discuss the Twisted Tales adaptation of the greatest Disney character to ever exist (yeah I said it, I'm not sorry). This novel was chosen by you guys on my Instagram polls out of twelve contenders... hope you enjoy it or, if not, y'know, vote in the next poll for a better outcome.

The grumpy single old lady reviews The Grace Year, a young adult novel in which a heroine must journey to the woods and rid herself of forbidden sexual magic in order to survive. You know, issues of inequality are fun to try to figure out, but we all need to grow up sometime... and we all know from reading YA that growing up means getting forked by a hot growling man in the woods.Recorded bonus: Listen for Potato snoring in the background. This is why puggers are not reviewers.

Despite being almost thirty and single by choice, this grumpy reader will review and rate  Descendant of the Crane, a young adult novel set in an Asian-inspired fantasy world where a princess must solve her father's murder and also work with a bad boy who.constantly has hold of his rod. Of course as in a stick that he hits people with, what else were you thinking of?