Wonder Storytime with Alice and Friends

“You’d be cross too, if you’d a wig like mine,” the Wasp went on. “They jokes, at one. And they worrits one. And then I gets cross. And I gets cold. And I gets under a tree. And I gets a yellow handkerchief. And I ties up my face – as at the present.”Alice looked pityingly at him. “Tying up the face is very good for the toothache,” she said.“And it’s very good for the conceit,” added the Wasp.

“‘Your majesty shouldn’t purr so loud,’ Alice said, rubbing her eyes, and addressing the kitten, respectfully, yet with some severity. `You woke me out of oh! such a nice dream! And you’ve been along with me, Kitty — all through the Looking-Glass world. Did you know it, dear?’”

“ Everything was happening so oddly that she didn’t feel a bit surprised at finding the Red Queen and the White Queen sitting close to her, one on each side: she would have like very much to ask them how they came there, but she feared it would not be quite civil. However, there would be no harm, she thought, in asking if the game was over. `Please, would you tell me — ‘ she began, looking timidly at the Red Queen.”

“`The great art of riding,’ the Knight suddenly began in a loud voice, waving his right arm as he spoke, `is to keep — ‘ Here the sentence ended as suddenly as it had begun, as the Knight fell heavily on the top of his head exactly in the path were Alice was walking. She was quite frightened this time, and said in an anxious tone, as she picked him up, `I hope no bones are broken?’`None to speak of,’ the Knight said, as if he didn’t mind breaking two or three of them. `The great art of riding, as I was saying, is — to keep your balance properly.”

“The Unicorn looked dreamily at Alice, and said `Talk, child.’Alice could not help her lips curing up into a smile as she began: `Do you know, I always thought Unicorns were fabulous monsters, too! I never saw one alive before!’`Well, now that we have seen each other,’ said the Unicorn, `if you’ll believe in me, I’ll believe in you. Is that a bargain?’`Yes, if you like,’ said Alice.”

“…the egg only got larger and larger, and more and more human: when she had come within a few yards of it, she saw that it had eyes and a nose and mouth; and when she had come close to it, she saw clearly that it was HUMPTY DUMPTY himself. `It can’t be anybody else!’ she said to herself. `I’m as certain of it, as if his name were written all over his face.’

“Now I’ll give you something to believe. I’m just one hundred and one, five months and a day.”“I can’t believe that”’ said Alice.“Can’t you?” the Queen said in a pitying tone. “Try again: draw a long breath, and shut your eyes.”Alice laughed. “There’s no use trying,” she said: “one can’t believe impossible things.”“I daresay you haven’t had much practice,” said the Queen. “When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”

“They stood so still that she quite forgot they were alive, and she was just looking round to see if the word “TWEEDLE” was written at the back of each collar, when she was startled by a voice coming from the one marked `DUM.’`If you think we’re wax-works,’ he said, `you ought to pay, you know. Wax-works weren’t made to be looked at for nothing, Nohow!’`Contrariwise,’ added the one marked `DEE,’ `if you think we’re alive, you ought to speak.’”

"`What sort of insects do you rejoice in, where you come from?’ the Gnat inquired.`I don’t rejoice in insects at all,’ Alice explained, `because I’m rather afraid of them — at least the large kinds. But I can tell you the names of some of them.”"

“O Tiger-lily,’ said Alice, addressing herself to one that was waving gracefully about in the wind, `I wish you could talk!’`We can talk,’ said the Tiger-lily: `when there’s anybody worth talking to.””

“`How would you like to live in Looking-glass House, Kitty? I wonder if they’d give you milk in there? Perhaps Looking-glass milk isn’t good to drink — But oh, Kitty! now we come to the passage. You can just see a little peep of the passage in Looking-glass House, if you leave the door of our drawing-room wide open: and it’s very like our passage as far as you can see, only you know it may be quite different on beyond. Oh, Kitty! how nice it would be if we could only get through into Looking- glass House! I’m sure it’s got, oh! such beautiful things in it!”

“Child of the pure unclouded brow And dreaming eyes of wonder! Though time be fleet, and I and thou Are half a life asunder, Thy loving smile will surely hail The love-gift of a fairy-tale.”

““Here!’ cried Alice, quite forgetting in the flurry of the moment how large she had grown in the last few minutes, and she jumped up in such a hurry that she tipped over the jury-box with the edge of her skirt, upsetting all the jurymen on to the heads of the crowd below, and there they lay sprawling about, reminding her very much of a globe of goldfish she had accidentally upset the week before. `Oh, I BEG your pardon!’ she exclaimed in a tone of great dismay, and began picking them up again as quickly as she could, for the accident of the goldfish kept running in her head, and she had a vague sort of idea that they must be collected at once and put back into the jury-box, or they would die.”

“The twelve jurors were all writing very busily on slates. `What are they doing?’ Alice whispered to the Gryphon. `They can’t have anything to put down yet, before the trial’s begun.’`They’re putting down their names,’ the Gryphon whispered in reply, `for fear they should forget them before the end of the trial.’”

“So they began solemnly dancing round and round Alice, every now and then treading on her toes when they passed too close, and waving their forepaws to mark the time, while the Mock Turtle sang this, very slowly and sadly:– `”Will you walk a little faster?” said a whiting to a snail.“There’s a porpoise close behind us, and he’s treading on my tail.See how eagerly the lobsters and the turtles all advance!They are waiting on the shingle–will you come and join the dance?”

“So they went up to the Mock Turtle, who looked at them with large eyes full of tears, but said nothing.`This here young lady,’ said the Gryphon, `she wants for to know your history, she do.’`I’ll tell it her,’ said the Mock Turtle in a deep, hollow tone: `sit down, both of you, and don’t speak a word till I’ve finished.’”

“Two began in a low voice, `Why the fact is, you see, Miss, this here ought to have been a RED rose-tree, and we put a white one in by mistake; and if the Queen was to find it out, we should all have our heads cut off, you know. So you see, Miss, we’re doing our best, afore she comes, to–‘ At this moment Five, who had been anxiously looking across the garden, called out `The Queen! The Queen!’ and the three gardeners instantly threw themselves flat upon their faces. There was a sound of many footsteps, and Alice looked round, eager to see the Queen.”

“The table was a large one, but the three were all crowded together at one corner of it: `No room! No room!’ they cried out when they saw Alice coming. `There’s PLENTY of room!’ said Alice indignantly, and she sat down in a large arm-chair at one end of the table. `Have some wine,’ the March Hare said in an encouraging tone.”

“It’s a Cheshire cat,’ said the Duchess, `and that’s why. Pig!’ She said the last word with such sudden violence that Alice quite jumped; but she saw in another moment that it was addressed to the baby, and not to her, so she took courage, and went on again:–`I didn’t know that Cheshire cats always grinned; in fact, I didn’t know that cats COULD grin.’`They all can,’ said the Duchess; `and most of ’em do.’”

“‘Who are YOU?’ said the Caterpillar. This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, `I–I hardly know, sir, just at present– at least I know who I WAS when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.’”

“It was the White Rabbit, trotting slowly back again, and looking anxiously about as it went, as if it had lost something; and she heard it muttering to itself `The Duchess! The Duchess! Oh my dear paws! Oh my fur and whiskers! She’ll get me executed, as sure as ferrets are ferrets! Where CAN I have dropped them, I wonder?’”

“‘What I was going to say,’ said the Dodo in an offended tone, `was, that the best thing to get us dry would be a Caucus-race.’ `What IS a Caucus-race?’ said Alice; not that she wanted much to know, but the Dodo had paused as if it thought that SOMEBODY ought to speak, and no one else seemed inclined to say anything.”

“‘You ought to be ashamed of yourself,’ said Alice, `a great girl like you,’ (she might well say this), `to go on crying in this way! Stop this moment, I tell you!’ But she went on all the same, shedding gallons of tears, until there was a large pool all round her, about four inches deep and reaching half down the hall.”

“Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,’ thought Alice `without pictures or conversation?”

Welcome to Wonder Storytime!We invite you to take a walk with Alice in your ears. Full leisurely we glide into the introductory poem to Alice's Adventures in Wonderland, read by Ava Roy.Episodes are free! We hope you enjoy. Please consider making a donation to help keep We Players hopping!