Ben-Bernard – Richard Usher Website

The #MasterOfMirth enters 2021 with a revised edition of one of his 2020 podcast offerings that never made it to the web due to you-know-what… Expect mishaps and moans as Ben takes a stroll to escape a group holiday arranged … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Forty Three: There’s a Reason Why We Don’t… Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth brings you his 2020 festive special, accidently featuring his sole agent and business manager, Tony Tatting, Jr. (Geoff Motley). Entirely what you’d expect from Ben for the Yuletide holiday! Written & Performed by Richard Usher & Geoff Motley, … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Forty Two: Ben Bernard’s Christmas Carol Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth has taken up the mindful art of Yoga, largely at the suggestion of the lovely Mrs Bernard. Struggling with “The Tree” pose, Ben is soon rueing the day he listened to Delia’s advice and explains why the lockdown … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Forty One: Yogi Ben Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth is caught on the telephone by his old pal Cecil, and it can take a long time to end such a call. Join Ben as he attempts to end the conversation and explain his approach to a certain … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Forty: The Hanging Up Procedure Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth returns with some bathroom inspired words of wisdom. Join Ben as he discusses body sprays, people on buses, the slow wake up from lockdown and a whole host of irritations… Written & Performed by Richard UsherEdited and Produced … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Thirty Nine: Five Signs of Irritation Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth is making the most of the good weather to spend some time in his garden shed. There is a good reason why in these unusual times, as Ben will explain… Written & Performed by Richard UsherEdited and Produced … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Thirty Eight: Shelf Isolation Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth is back, and desperately trying to stay off wife Delia’s radar after a recent telling off by his GP. Is Ben towing the line, or has he given in to cake-based temptation…? Written & Performed by Richard Usher … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Thirty Seven: Temptation Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth is also the master of the Christmas shop! Join Ben for this festive episode, and learn the secrets of preparing the perfect Yuletide experience… Written & Performed by Richard UsherEdited and Produced by Richard UsherBen Bernard Theme by … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Thirty Six: The Art of Christmas Past! Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth has found himself a gig as an instore Santa. However, Ben soon discovers that such a plum role can attract the wrong element! Written & Performed by Richard UsherEdited and Produced by Richard UsherBen Bernard Theme by John … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Thirty Five: Ben’s Pre-Christmas Message Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth is on the hunt for a get well soon card, a somewhat speculative purchase. He soon discovers that as things ramp up towards the Festive season, so the selection of “normal” greetings cards begins to decrease… Written & … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Thirty Four: The First Day of Christmas?!? Read More »

As the latest General Election draws ever closer the #MasterOfMirth finds himself going to extreme lengths to avoid helping independent candidate Ellis Earby in his campaign… Written & Performed by Richard UsherEdited and Produced by Richard UsherBen Bernard Theme by … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Thirty Three: Political Shenanigans Read More »

Barry Bernard has got himself a part-time job as a dog walker, which means poor old Ben has to do his fatherly duty and chaperone his son for his first solo walk. The cuddly hound soon has the pair sized … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Thirty Two: Canine Commotion Read More »

The recent spells of what some might call “bad” weather has found the #MasterOfMirth in a somewhat unique situation, using technology to help out his mother-in-law and neighbour Eddie Evans, but not how you might expect… Written & Performed by … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Thirty One: Weather Watcher Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth has a somewhat unique relationship with the so-called “cold callers” that are the bane of most people’s lives. When his telephone rings Ben settles back with his cup of tea and prepares for a good natter… Written & … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Thirty: Cold Callers Warmly Welcomed Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth has been struck down by the “Cleethorpes Hack” – and we don’t mean a dodgy journalist on the local paper! Ailing from a seasonal cold our favourite stand-up discusses his methods for ridding himself of germs and bugs… … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Twenty Nine: Under the Weather Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth finds time to enjoy some outdoor relaxation between driving lessons as the weather favours alfresco dining over at the home-spun #WeStillSellIt pavement café… Written & Performed by Richard UsherEdited and Produced by Richard UsherBen Bernard Theme by John … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Twenty Eight: Alfresco Autumn Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth finds himself drinking instant coffee in the waiting room of the maternity ward at the local hospital. However, as his story unfolds you’ll discover that all is not as it might appear, and Ben soon discusses various mistakes … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Twenty Seven: Mistakes & Misconceptions Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth looks back to the day he took refuge in an amusement arcade during a recent Pride event he’d been booked for. Soon Ben turns his thoughts to more autumnal events like Hull Fair and the Nottingham Goose Fair. … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Twenty Six: Fair Play Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth finds himself in a tricky situation while his car is back in the garage for repairs. If you’ve ever had problems with a courtesy car, you’ll empathise… Written & Performed by Richard UsherEdited and Produced by Richard UsherBen … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Twenty Five: Courtesy Car Read More »

Whilst browsing the shelves of a bookshop the #MasterOfMirth is reminded of a recent encounter with his old pal Freddy Fraisthorpe. A spot of reminiscing is soon underway… Written & Performed by Richard UsherEdited and Produced by Richard UsherBen Bernard … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Twenty Four: Self Help Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth has popped into a church pew to wax lyrical – literally – on the subjects of ear wax and misheard lyrics! If you’ve ever confused well known song lyrics, tunes, or simply been a little hard of hearing, … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Twenty Three: Misheard Lyrics Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth is house-sitting on the promise of some decent TV and a quiet day awaiting a couple of parcel deliveries. He soon discovers that all is not what it seems, and certainly not as advertised! Written & Performed by … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Twenty Two: House Sitting Read More »

The promise of film stardom takes the #MasterOfMirth to a tent in a secret location somewhere between Doncaster and Rotherham. Having succeeded in bagging himself a “featured” role he’s suffering the indignity of a Lycra onesie and cheap refreshments…the glamour … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Twenty One: Time for My Close-Up Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth is far from happy with the community obstacle course created by an influx of vans and van drivers. He’s also had a harrowing experience MC’ing a charity gig and giving some driving lessons. Variety is the spice of … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Twenty: Van Damn Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth is having trouble finding suitable sources of entertainment for “the smallest room”. Expect some lavatory humour as he explains one or two bathroom dilemas that crop up in Bernard family homes… Written & Performed by Richard UsherEdited and … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Nineteen: Seat of Learning Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth is in the post office queue…again. He’s there to pick up a parcel, an endeavor fraught with problems, and aside from the lack of parking he’s none too chuffed with his fellow queue dwellers. If you’ve ever missed … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Eighteen: The Eternal Wait Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth is a little disgruntled, waiting for his car to be repaired. With nothing better to do than watch the muted TV screen in the corner, or read an out of date magazine, he airs his views on motoring … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Seventeen: The Car Owner’s Guide to the Summer Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth is always on hand to help out a pal, and with Carboot Colin off to the wholesalers, Ben Bernard has kindly stepped in to stack some shelves and mind the store of #WeStillSellIt. Thinking he was in for … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Sixteen: Ben Bernard Gets Creative! Read More »

Eddie Evans has gone AWOL, leaving the #MasterOfMirth trying in vain to return a piece of gardening equipment he’d borrowed… Written & Performed by Richard UsherEdited and Produced by Richard UsherBen Bernard Theme by John Ryan‘Ben Bernard’ Created by Richard … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Fifteen: Neighbours Read More »

Ben is having a busy day tidying up the driveway, but he’s soon distracted by a neighbour driving past and shares his thoughts on the chino brigade… Written & Performed by Richard UsherEdited and Produced by Richard UsherBen Bernard Theme … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Fourteen: Beige Rage Read More »

Ben has been to town to buy himself a new cap. As he drives homeward he ponders on the ungrateful flock of garden visitors who mess up his car… Written & Performed by Richard UsherEdited and Produced by Richard UsherBen … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Thirteen: The Birds Read More »

Ben goes off his trolley as the Master of Mirth visits a DIY store for some new taps after young Barry Bernard destroys his makeshift bathroom plumbing repair… Written & Performed by Richard UsherEdited and Produced by Richard UsherBen Bernard … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Twelve: Plumbing the Depths Read More »

“Life is a Caravette old chum…” So says the Master of Mirth, Ben Bernard. Join him for a stroll on the beach as he airs his thoughts on holidays and all things B&B…Written & Performed by Richard UsherEdited and Produced … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Eleven: Holidays Read More »

The Master of Mirth needs some much needed downtime and takes to the garden for some Old Ma Mills style meditation. However, life, the looneyverse and everything soon conspire against him… Written & Performed by Richard UsherEdited and Produced by … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Ten: Stress Management Read More »

Join the Master of Mirth in one of his favourite watering holes, Ma’s Bar, as he presents his latest thoughts on life, the looneyverse and the Cleethorpes Café scene… Written & Performed by Richard Usher Edited and Produced by Richard … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Nine: Café Culture Read More »

The Master of Mirth waxes lyrical on the philosophy of fame and rejection as he stands in line at the post office, waiting to send out more scripts and programme proposals… Written & Performed by Richard Usher Edited and Produced … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Eight: Fame & Fortune Read More »

The Master of Mirth ventures online to solve a storage crisis at home, or at least he would if his computer didn’t have updates to run… Written & Performed by Richard Usher Edited and Produced by Richard Usher Ben Bernard … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Seven: Storage Wars Read More »

Join the #MasterOfMirth as he takes a well earned break in a department store cafe and reflects on the whole shopping experience, including his lifetime ban from Toymaster. He offers tips and techniques for avoiding any shopping expedition, and shares … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Six: Shopping Read More »

When the Master of Mirth is booked as a children’s entertainer he grudgingly accepts the gig. However, all is not what it appears and Ben soon realizes he’s out of his comfort zone. This of course leads to a bit … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Five: Schooldays Read More »

The #MasterOfMirth receives a wedding invitation, much to his surprise and chagrin. This gets Ben thinking about the modern wedding industry, and the amount of money he has to spend… Edited and Produced by Richard Usher Ben Bernard Theme by … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Four: Weddings Read More »

Avid viewer of Channel 5 documentaries, Ben Bernard puzzles over the assassination of President John F. Kennedy. The Master of Mirth has his own theories… Written & Performed by Richard Usher Edited and Produced by Richard Usher Ben Bernard Theme … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Three: Assassination Read More »

During an interval in Brexit: The Musical, Ben discusses the fine art of getting into a theatre show without buying their overpriced snacks… Written & Performed by Richard Usher Edited and Produced by Richard Usher Ben Bernard Theme by John … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode Two: Snack Smuggling Read More »

The Master of Mirth, Ben Bernard, introduces his podcast and gets himself all mixed up about the various online terminology, as well as reminiscing about old technology and the bygone days of CB Radio… Written & Performed by Richard Usher … Blog Off, Ben Bernard! Episode One: Blogging Along Read More »