Class Dismissed! with Tom Houghton

Dumfries was voted the happiest place to live in Scotland. So much so the locals can end up resenting you if you move away. Mark talks about going back to visit his old school, bullies who now want to be friends and all those bad hair cuts and style choices that saw him through puberty. Not only that we have original wrestling finishing moves, an a analysis of every Jaws movie and we ponder why the letter Z was always so cool to have in your name.

You don't often think of Buckinghamshire as a hot spot of martial arts, but it turns out fighting was par for the course for a young Jake. If it wasn't his Dad starting fights down the school's back ally, it was his oldest sister finishing them. Which the protecting of his close family, Jake was them able to concentrate on his real passions that involved doing impressions, metal work and becoming a master baker.

Dane could have gone a very different route than he chose to. Not only did he have to battle multiple teachers who seemed hell bent on making his life hell. Soon came the teenage years and the tempting call of the gangster way of life. Lucky, he had his head screwed on and decided to take a better path. But if it wasn't for his vision of a better future, he could have turned out very different. That and his Mum seeking him out down the youth club to give him a slap and make sure he was staying out of trouble

For the first time in Class Dismissed, we attend the mysterious world of the all-girls school. Sophie talks us through the gossiping, sleep overs and snogging practice using your hand. Not only that, but there is the never-ending dilemma of how to style your uniform, which hat your meant to be wearing and what ludicrous hair style phase you might be going through that year.

Some kids are well behaved an polite, with a look as if butter wouldn’t melt. Other are demons, tear always. They need to be tethered for fear of the destruction they will wreak if allowed to run wild. Mathew Crosby was such a child. Now a reformed uber nerd, we chat about his dark, and destructive past. Is there nothing that can stop the demon child with the He-man lunchbox?

Hi Class Dismissed fans! Radio X are releasing Season 2 of a podcast we think you’ll enjoy. That’s A First! is hosted by comedians Maisie Adam and Tom Lucy and in each episode they’re joined by a guest who reveals some interesting firsts from their life… and then gets ripped to shreds. In series 1 we heard about the first time Romesh Ranganathan soiled himself just before he was due to go in stage and series 2 promises to be just as revealing with guests such as Joel Dommett, Kiri Pritchard McLean and Chris Kamara!   This is a quick taster from Maisie & Tom. If you like it, search ‘That’s a First!’  and subscribe on Global Player or wherever you get your podcasts.

Don your best blazer and get ready to take a walk through privilege. Weird traditions, tuck shop shenanigans and Latin vocab are all par for the course. Not only do we discuss the pros and cons of boarding school life, we get a fair share of the usual wild stories straight from our listeners to feats our sizeable appetites on.

Talking in class is a classic way of finding yourself in detention. And Charlie baker certain has the gift of the gab. And in this episode, you are sure to witness it. The all singing all dancing Devonshire showman leads with a constant stream of dialogue that gets on a roll and doesn't stop. We talk home schooling, parent evenings and the pointlessness of learning now the internet is a thing. With a guest cameo from Charlie's daughter, this episode is a none stop giggle sesh of delicious nonsense.

The wonderful Laura Lexx lets us into her west country upbringing and a childhood spent dancing around the country side. Fresh off her highly successful book "Klopp actually", the Taunton based comic and writer is a pint-sized bundle of fun. We talk Tik Tok, the school bus and realising school rules are made to be broken. Follow Tom - www.instagram.com/honourabletom / www.twitter.com/honourabletom Follow Laura - www.instagram.com/lexxlaura / www.twitter.com/lauralexx

Toby is on Radio X weekdays between 10am - 1pm and is no stranger to letting you in on the gossip. A tall kid with big ears, you'd think the odds were against him at school. Things are even worse when your Dad is host of the biggest TV quiz show in the country We talk home maids, awkward physical developments, and driving to school listening to your Dad on the radio. Follow Tom - www.instagram.com/honourabletom / www.twitter.com/honourabletom Follow Toby - www.instagram.com/toby_tarrant / www.twitter.com/tobytarrant

He's the biggest act to hit the comedy scene in years. Literally. After years spent managing club door, Emmanuel has more than enough stories to tell. But we are more interested in the kid who would grow up to be the heavy weight joke machine. We talk Rugby, wetting yourself in the rain and the pressure on having to pretend you're hard because you're the biggest thing in the playground. Follow Tom - www.instagram.com/honourabletom / www.twitter.com/honourabletom Follow Emmanuel - www.instagram.com/emmanuelstandup / www.twitter.com/emmanuelstandup

Tom Houghton is back in detention and he's got more friends with him for series 2 of Class Dismissed. Join Tom as he finds out why his guests earned their school punishments, the length they and friends went to in order to wind up teachers plus all your messages about odd nicknames, creepy teachers and more. The first episode of Class Dismissed lands on Thursday 22nd October so hit subscribe now so you don't miss the bell.

Remember all the times spent having fun with friends at school? Catherine Boheart doesn’t. The only friends she had were rules, books and maybe one teacher. Don’t feel sorry for her though, this is how she wanted it! We reminisce on Kelly Rowland, Goosebumps and find out from you guys your most embarrassing parent stories. Follow Tom - www.instagram.com/honourabletom / www.twitter.com/honourabletom Follow Catherine - www.instagram.com/catherinebohart / www.twitter.com/CatherineBohart

Tom sits down with two of his best friends and discusses first days, initiations and school loyalty. After that they delve into the awkwardness of first crushes, with a feast of awful anecdotes from the lives of love struck listeners. Follow Tom - www.instagram.com/honourabletom / www.twitter.com/honourabletom Follow Naz - www.instagram.com/naz.osmanoglu / www.twitter.com/naz_osmanoglu Follow Jim - www.instagram.com/jimcampbellcomedy / www.twitter.com/JimCampbellTFR

Where did you spend most of your school time? Because according to Olivia Lee it's all happening down the bus stop. That's where she spent most of her times a child, when she wasn't pushing people through windows that is. Ouija boards, backflips and getting to second base, anything can happen when you're waiting for the 298 to Hadley Wood. We also hear from the listeners about some of the things they were dared to do, and the hideous consequences! Follow Tom - www.instagram.com/honourabletom / www.twitter.com/honourabletom Follow Olivia - www.instagram.com/olivialeetv / www.twitter.com/olivialee7

Just because Brighton is lovely, doesn’t need mean going to school there was. Seann takes Tom on a trip down memory lane that involves trampolines, hiding in bushes and assaulting people with pencils. We also hear from the listeners about the wacky and wonderful teaches they used to have, including one that sang their lessons and another who built a shrine to Ryan Giggs. Follow Tom - www.instagram.com/honourabletom / www.twitter.com/honourabletom Follow Seann - www.instagram.com/seannwalsh / www.twitter.com/seannwalsh

Phil Wang takes us to Malaysia, Brunei and Bath. It’s a global education that sees him and Tom discussing physical punishments, computer games and the effect Britney Spears had on teens everywhere. Also this episode we hear from you the listeners about all the weird nicknames you used to have! Follow Tom - www.instagram.com/honourabletom / www.twitter.com/honourabletom Follow Phil - www.instagram.com/wangpix / www.twitter.com/PhilNWang

In detention today is Pierre. South African born, Italian French by name, Isle of Man by education, hilarious in general. He and Tom talk about how rubbish the Beano was, write numbers backward and for the first time we hear from you the listeners about all your detention worthy escapades! Follow Tom - www.instagram.com/honourabletom / www.twitter.com/honourabletom Follow Pierre - www.https://www.instagram.com/pierrenovellie / www.twitter.com/pierrenovellie

Tom travels to Newcastle to meet Geordie land’s very own tinker bell. Lauren tell us what it was like dealing with all sorts of skin based problems while fending off the bullies armed only with a calculator. Follow Tom - www.instagram.com/honourabletom / www.twitter.com/honourabletom Follow Lauren - www.instagram.com/lauren_pattison / www.twitter.com/laurenpattison

Two boys from the opposite side of tracks chat their differences. One's estate had deer running around and a long driveway, the other had knives and fingering. Hilarious guest Stephen lets us know what it was like being gay at school and Tom learns what Mr Sheen is. Follow Tom - www.instagram.com/honourabletom / www.twitter.com/honourabletom Follow Stephen - www.instagram.com/stephencomedy / www.twitter.com/stephencomedy

We are back in detention in deepest, darkest Devon, hanging out by the local garage and debating what secrets lie below that big saltine dish on the top of "Goonhilly". Tom and Amy chat dance floor injuries, ringing sex lines and knowing a genuinely impressive amount of history. Follow Tom - www.instagram.com/honourabletom / www.twitter.com/honourabletom Follow Amy - www.instagram.com/thatsportsspice / www.twitter.com/Thatsportsspice

It's the first detention of the year and we fined ourselves at the back of the class in South London, where asylum seekers are sneaking into school, aerosols are being weaponised and school plays only get half way through before all hell break loose. Tom and Elliot spread the gossip on getting into fights, trying to fit in when you're the emo kid and play "Bruv"... the worst game ever created. Follow Tom - www.instagram.com/honourabletom / www.twitter.com/honourabletom Follow Elliot - www.instagram.com/elliotsteel / www.twitter.com/elliotsteelcom

Tom Houghton's Class Dismissed! Coming Monday 13th January.