If You Mind, It Matters. With Helen Meissner.

I am grateful to one of my listeners for suggesting this topic. I've noticed this in social settings, how  the person declining alcohol is often pressurised or interrogated and made to feel awkward and 'wrong'. Which is enough to keep some people housebound in order to understandably avoid those environments. In this episode I look at the  many reasons this situation might occur,  the background for either person's position and successful strategies for handling it. I really hope it's helpful. Do let me know! and also if you've any topics to request, please email helenmeissner@hotmail.co,uk.Music used on this podcast is from my musical alta ego Helefonix https://www.helefonix.co.uk/

The need to impress people can be completely debilitating and overwhelming. It can create such anxiety, especially when meeting people you've never spoken to before, or perhaps people you don't feel particularly comfortable with. However, the secret to making friends and meaningful connections actually suits people who  may regard themselves as introverted better than those who are more naturally confident or extrovert. I share all my secrets in this podcast. It's not rocket science but you may not have heard it explained in this way before. If you've any questions or want to suggest other topics, please email Helenmeissner@hotmail.co.uk or speak to my son Lewis whose friends are listening and providing great ideas!  hi to you all and thanks SO much for engaging with this! knowing someone is listening is what keeps me going,  If you listen and haven't let me know, PLEASE do! It will be greatly appreciated.I hope you enjoy this latest episode x

Would it make you more comfortable within yourself and less anxious about talking to people if you knew how to handle tricky conversations? Let's look at the worst case scenario where something escalates quickly. Listen to this and never be caught out again.The music I've used is from my album The Awakening which you can find under my artist name Helefonix. https://helefonix.bandcamp.com/album/the-awakeningIf you have any questions or any suggestions for topics to cover for future episodes please email me at helenmeissner@hotmail.co.uk :) I look forward to hearing from you.Thanks to everyone who has got in touch to say how much these have helped them. Makes all the difference. You can find me on twitter at @helenmeissner.If you are interested in me holding a one day coaching session with your team to brush up these skills, you can get more information here https://www.thomsontraining.com/soft-skills-and-specialist-topicsOr email me on the address above.(00:00) Music - Who Do You Wanna Be by Helefonix(00:20) Speaking starts(02:00) I believe the fear of a situation escalating quickly can stop us from standing up for ourselves(03:26) Our experiences of, and reaction to observable conflict when we were growing up, perhaps between parents. will affect how we react when faced with aggression.(04:08) If we hold off too long and keep quiet, the situation can get worse, so nipping things in the bud is essential for an easier, less stressful life(05:44) Music - Soul's Cry by Helefonix(06:29) Start of step by step guide with examples of what to do and say(12:33) Music - I'll See You On The Other Side by Helefonix(12:55) Why we have difficulties in personal relationships with thinking we know someone(16:04) Open and honest communication does not mean tactless or brutal(16:40) Music - Enlightenment by Helefonix(16:56) Diffusing a communication time bomb. More examples, things to consider and steps to follow(23:25) How being able to do this can have a dramatic effect on your life and well being(26:14) Music - Communion by Helefonix(26:30) Handling 'it's fine'(27:32) Demonstrating empathy into our dialogue(28:14) How to have empathy if you don't agree with someone(31:27) Reminder about open and closed questions and how to avoid false yes and no answers(34:52) Music - Firedance by Helefonix(35:08) Drawing the exchange to a conclusion(39:06) Respecting boundaries, asking permission to discuss a way forward (40:39) If you only take one thing from this podcast, please let it be this...(43:55) Music - We Belong Here by Helefonix(44:10) Ends.

Here we build on EP1 in which I explained WHY if you mind, it matters. I believe it's unhealthy to just 'get on with it' or ignore our feelings.  Only doing things to please other people can be toxic. What about our own needs? So this is for you if you've ever agreed to do things and ended up regretting saying yes or perhaps letting people down last minute. And what's worse, feeling guilty! Here's some scenarios and solutions. I hope it helps! Let me know via  helenmeissner@hotmail.co.uk or share on twitter? @helenmeissner.Thank you for listening.The music I've used is from my artist project Helefonix from my second album The Awakening which is on all the usual streaming platforms.

It's all too easy to brush off our feelings of discomfort and invalidate ourselves in this stressful, topsy turvy world we find ourselves in. Helen Meissner, mum, wife, music producer and business mentor gently encourages us to reconsider our own needs and be kinder to ourselves. Helen passionately believes that if you mind, it matters. She talks us through her observations after 55 years, a few marriages, numerous crises and cancer. Simple truths, reassuring reminders and unexpected insights are provided in this honest, holistic, heartfelt podcast from someone who's been around the block a few times.New content added once a week. Tell Helen what you'd like her to cover! Get in touch helenmeissner@hotmail.co.ukShow Notes:(00:00) Opening clip from Who Do You Wanna Be from The Awakening by Helefonix(00:38) This podcast is for you if you're wanting to live the life YOU want, not the life others want for you(01:02) The temptation to put everyone else's needs first however, IF YOU MIND, IT MATTERS!(01:50) A bit about my background and my ‘lived experience'(03:01) My exploratory, non judgemental, non jargonistic approach(04:00) MUSIC: Somebody Waking Up clip from The Awakening by Helefonix(04:23) Why I picked this title and why I feel this is so important(04:57) Conditioning and compliance when we were children and inconsistent messages and self worth issues (06:19) If children are so resilient how come so many adults are in therapy?(08:29) The effects of ignoring our feelings(09:20) Some of the perils of people pleasing and second guessing what makes others happy(10:19) “We're all human and essentially flawed, if we WERE perfect everyone would hate us anyway”(12:50) Outro ‘We belong Here' from The Awakening by HelefonixTwitter: https://twitter.com/HelenMeissnerHelenMeissner@hotmail.co.ukCD link : https://helefonix.bandcamp.com/album/the-awakeningMusic is also on all the usual streaming channels.