This is Your Anxiety Toolkit - Episode 207. Welcome to Your Anxiety Toolkit. I'm your host, Kimberley Quinlan. This podcast is fueled by three main goals. The first goal is to provide you with some extra tools to help you manage your anxiety. Second goal, to inspire you. Anxiety doesn't get to decide how you live your life. And number three, and I leave the best for last, is to provide you with one big, fat virtual hug, because experiencing anxiety ain't easy. If that sounds good to you, let's go. Welcome back, everybody. This is a really exciting podcast today. We have back on the show the amazing Kristin Neff. Now, as you all know, we're doing a 30-day Self-Compassion Challenge and it is the perfect time to bring on Kristin Neff, who has written a new book called Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power, and Thrive. Now, while the book is directed towards women, it actually is for everybody. So, we're speaking today in this interview about fear self-compassion and it's for everybody. It's particularly valid to those of us who are struggling with anxiety and have to really work hard at facing fears every day. I am so grateful we got to have Kristin on. She had so many beautiful things to say. If you like the episode, please go over and purchase her book. She too has a book out and again, it's called Fierce Self-Compassion, and it might help you really deep dive into this practice of fierce self-compassion. Before we get over to the show, let's talk about the “I did a hard thing” segment. This one we have is from Eric, and he has said: “I've been working on my anxiety about the heat by spending every day I can in the sauna of my gym. I work up a good full-body sweat, and it feels so uncomfortable, but I stick with it knowing it will pay off.” Eric, this is so amazing. What an amazing way for you to stare your fear in the face, practice being uncomfortable. I love it. In addition to that, let's move right over to the review of the week. This one is from Emily. Emily says: “Kimberley consistently shares a genuine compassion across all of her podcast episodes. She's been a source of encouragement on my journey with OCD, anxiety, and depression because her message remains one of the consistent self-compassion while sharing a realistic perspective and the reality of mental health struggles.” Thank you so much. You're so welcome, Emily. I am just so honored to be on this amazing path with you all doing such amazing hard things and really doing the hard work. It's really an honor to hear these stories and hear the hard things you guys are doing. That being said, let's move over to the show again. Thank you so much, Kristin Neff, for coming on. I just found this episode to be so deeply helpful with some profound concepts and I can't wait to share them with you. Kimberley: Welcome. This is an honor to have with us again the amazing Kristin Neff. Welcome. Kristin: Thank you for having me. Happy to be here with you again. Kimberley: Yeah. You have a new book out, which is by far my favorite. I am so in love with this book—Fierce Compassion. Yes. I actually have mine on my Kindle, so I was holding it up, going, “Look, it's right here.” Kristin: Thank you. Kimberley: I loved this book. Thank you for writing it. This is so important for our community because you're talking about how to use compassion in I think ways that we haven't talked about before and is so important for those people who are suffering with anxiety or just any kind of severe mental illness or struggle. Can you tell me exactly what fierce compassion or fear self-compassion is? Kristin: Yeah. Well, self-compassion, in general, or compassion in general is concerned with the alleviation of suffering. It's a desire to help. It's the desire for well-being of others, and then self-compassion is of yourself. There are really two main faces that it has, the two main ways that it can express itself. There's tender self-compassion, which is really important, which is about self-acceptance. It's about being gentle, more nurturing, warm with yourself, soothing yourself when you're upset, really offering support, being with yourself and all your pain and all your imperfection, and really accepting a kind way. This is a hugely important aspect of self-compassion because most of us don't do this. Most of us think we aren't good enough or we criticize ourselves. We're really harsh with ourselves. This is huge. But it's actually not the only aspect of self-compassion. Sometimes compassion is more of a gentle, nurturing energy, almost like you might say a mother. Metaphorically, a mother or a father, but a parent. Fear self-compassion is more like mama bear, like fierce mama bear. In other words, sometimes in order to alleviate our suffering, we need to take action. Acceptance isn't always the right response when we're suffering. For instance, if you're in a situation that's harmful, maybe someone is crossing your boundaries, or someone is harming you in some way, threatening you in some way, whether it's society. Maybe it's racism, sexism, or some sort of injustice, or whether it's yourself. Maybe you're harming yourself in some way. Although we want to accept ourselves as worthy people, we don't necessarily want to accept our behavior. And so sometimes we need to take action to alleviate suffering. So, that could either be protection against harm. Sometimes it's providing for ourselves. This is especially for women, women who are told they should always self-sacrifice, they should always meet others' needs. Actually, sometimes for self-compassion, we have to say, “No, I'd really love to help you, but I've got something I need to tend to for myself.” So taking action to meet your own needs. And then also motivating change. It's not self-compassionate to let behaviors or situations slide that are not healthy. So, really taking the action needed to motivate healthy change. But it comes from encouragement, not because “I'm unacceptable unless I change.” The tender and the fear self-compassion, they go hand in hand. I like to say it's like yin and yang. We need both and we need them to be in balance. If they aren't in balance, it's a problem. Kimberley: Now this is so good because my first question was how to get it into balance, right? I love in your book, you have a little questionnaire. You fill it out, is there balance, and what side is that all? But can you share how people may get some balance if they're finding they're doing one of the other? Kristin: Yeah. It's a tricky question, right? Because sometimes we don't know, but we need to ask. Really the quintessential self-compassion question is, what do I need right now to be healthy, to be well? And just pausing to ask that question is huge. Usually, we're just doing our daily routine or we're striving to reach these goals that people tell us we need to reach. We don't even stop to say, “Actually, what do I really need to be healthy and well?” So asking that question is huge. And then you may not get it right at first. You may think, oh actually I thought I needed that, and I don't. Really self-compassion is a process. But it helps to know the different types of self-compassion. You might say, “Do I need a little tenderness right now? Do I need some acceptance? Do I need some softness and gentleness? Do I need to kick in the butt? Do I need to get going? Do I need to stand up? Do I need to speak up? Do I need to say no to people? Maybe I'm giving too much of myself in order to find balance.” You really just have to ask yourself the questions. It's really the process of being committed to yourself that you're going to do the work necessary to be healthy and well. Kimberley: Right. You've outlined so many pieces of this puzzle, right? Particularly, and this is why I was just-- I think I reached out to you months before your book came out because I just wanted to hear your opinion on this. For people who are struggling with the inner bully, whether that be the disorder they have, or they're just very self- critical, it can be really hard to stand up to that. Almost feeling like it's just impossible. I've heard people saying like, “This is just who I am. I'm just going to have this voice.” I'm wondering, you might maybe share where would somebody start with this practice? Kristin: Yeah. And then we also need to get in the different parts of ourselves, right? Because the inner bully, that's a part. We also have a part that's compassionate. We also have a part that feels bullied by the inner critic. So, we've got the person who's pointing their finger. We have the person that feels the shame. We've got all these different parts of ourselves. And really all of them need to be treated with compassion, but how that compassion manifests is going to be different. For instance, I have a compassionate motivation exercise in there, where sometimes what we need with an inner critic is we need to thank it. “Thank you for trying to help me.” This may be the only language it has to try to help us, and it needs to feel listened to and heard. “Thank you so much for trying to help me.” It's actually not been that helpful, but I appreciate your efforts. That's almost using more the tender self-compassion for the inner critic. But sometimes it needs the standing up. It's like the mama bear, like, “I'm sorry, I'm not going to listen to that anymore. You can't say that. It's not okay. I'm drawing a line in the sand.” So that's part of it. But then also, we don't want to forget having compassion for the part of ourselves that feels criticized. People who say the inner critic, that's just who I am. Well actually, who they are is, there's a part of them that hurts from the inner criticism. There's a part of them that feels compassion for the pain of that. There's a part of them that's trying to help, keep themselves safe through criticism. Inner critics don't operate really to try to harm. They operate to try to help to keep us safe. I've talked about a lot in my book, my son has very harsh self-criticism and I can see he really believes-- by the way, I'm just going to turn this off. Sorry. It's going to be cooking for me the whole time. Kimberley: No problem. Kristin: My son really believes that if he's hard with himself, somehow, it's going to allow him to get it right not make mistakes. So, usually, our inner critic, some part of it believes that if we're harsh enough with ourselves, we'll get it right not make mistakes. And that's the safety behavior. So, we need to have compassion for that safety behavior at the same time that we don't want to be railroaded by it. It is complex. The human psyche is complex. Pretty much the answer is always compassion. But what form that compassion takes just depends on what the situation is. There's no one-size-fits-all. Kimberley: And I think that it's so important that you're addressing both the yin and the yang side. Because there are times when, let's say somebody's struggling with incredibly painful intrusive thoughts related to their OCD or their disorder, where they need to really just go, “Wow, this is so hard for you. I'm so sorry you're going through this.” But there are other times where you have to be like, “Nope, we're not doing this today. We're not going to go down that road today.” So, I think it's beautiful that you're bringing that Together. Kristin: It's funny, I have to use both sides with my son. He has both autism and OCD, as I was telling you, and anxiety just to make things fun. But sometimes what he needs is he needs my warmth and compassion. Just that caring, that tenderness. He knows always the bottom line is unconditional acceptance. But sometimes they need to draw boundaries. He's learning to drive, for instance, and he started having an episode while he was driving and I'm like, “No, you cannot do this while you're driving. It's not safe.” Part of them doesn't have the ability to stop it, but part of them does. So, it is complex. Sometimes I need to appeal to that part of them that does have the ability, at least temporarily, to say, “I'm not going to go there. You need to choose. You need to stop up.” Sometimes I say it almost really firmly and it shocks him, and it actually helps him to stop. So, it's complicated. Kimberley: It really, really is. Now, it's interesting because you and I were talking before, and I want to touch in because the first part of the book-- the book is directed specifically to women, but it also is addressed to anybody, I think. Kristin: Yeah. All people live both yin and yang. The reason I do it for women is because women are so socialized not to be fierce. And that's partly patriarchy. Women have been kept in their place by not getting angry or not speaking up. So, that's why it's written for women. But a lot of my male friends have read it and they say they get a lot out of it because first of all, all the practices are human. They're for all people, not just women. Kimberley: Right. But the reason I loved it is you did speak directly to getting angry, right? Kristin: Yes. Kristin: There's a lot in the front about getting angry. Is it helpful? Is it not? Do you want to share? I mean, I think a lot of people who are anxious are afraid of their anger or are afraid of that. So, do you want to share a little bit about how people can use these practices for anger? Kimberley: Yeah. Well, because part of the whole messaging of the book is anger communicates expression of compassion. Again, think of fierce mama bear, that ferocity, and think of someone who tries to harm someone you loved. There would probably be this arising of anger that comes up to protect. Anger is a protective emotion. Now again, anger can be problematic for sure. It's very easy. What's the difference between helpful and unhelpful anger? It's dead simple. Helpful anger alleviates suffering, unhelpful anger causes suffering. We know it can do both. But anger should not be undervalued as an important source of protection and compassion. It energizes us, it focuses us, it gives us energy, it suppresses the fear response, especially with people with anxiety. It's funny, my son is afraid of dogs. It's one of his anxious things. I taught him very early on that when a dog is threatening him to rise up and yell at the dog and flop his arms, scare the dog. He does that. It's funny, it also helps suppress his fear response for the dog when he does that because he's basically getting angry and yelling at the dog to back off. I have to say sometimes he overuses it, like he's done that with poodles at the park. I'm like, “Poodle is not a threat. Poodle will survive.” In his mind, the poodle is a threat. So, being able to call on that fierce energy, one of the things it does is it does suppress the fear response. So, if you never allow yourself to be angry, it feeds into that fear response. That anger can actually be opposite to the fear response. Kimberley: Right. This is where this is so beautiful because actually, a lot of the work I do with my patients is, instead of being angry at the dog or expressing anger, is to talk to fear and set the limit with fear. You were talking in the book about the inner critic and the inner voice or it could be the inner fear. I often will have patients say, “No, fear, you can come with me to the dog park or you could come with me to this, but you are not winning,” and getting really strong with an angry back at fear, which I think is another approach. Kristin: Yes, that's right. Again, you can say, “Thank you for trying to help me.” In my son's script, “Thank you for trying to keep me safe, but you aren't helping.” It's both. It's the appreciation. Because we don't want to feel that any parts of ourselves are unacceptable. If we make our inner critic or if we make our anxiety or OCD, or any of those parts of ourselves feel unacceptable, then we're harming ourselves. Kimberley: That's the key point. Kristin: We can accept it with love, with tenderness. Just because my OCD is not helping me doesn't mean it's not acceptable, and act as a way in which it's a beautiful part of me trying to keep myself safe. So, it's differentiating between us as people and particular behavior. Behaviors can be helpful or harmful, but we're always okay exactly as we are. Kimberley: Right. And that's the point. You just dropped the mic on that one. That's so important. This is actually a question more than a statement—as we're navigating, standing up to fear or depression is that we're not disregarding it or criticizing the fear that's inside us either. Kristin: Yeah. Because it serves a purpose. All these emotions serve-- and usually, it comes down to safety or the sense of belonging or some sort of deep survival mechanism because these are all evolutionarily-- they came from our brains and our brains designed to survive. So, they have a negativity bias, say they tend to get really anxious. They tend to use the fight, flight, or freeze response. Fight is the self-criticism, flight is the fear response or shame response, freeze is when you get absolutely stuck over and over again, like rumination. Interesting, which may be related more to OCD. I've never thought about that. But it might be that that loopy might be the freeze response where you're just stuck. All of these evolved as safety mechanisms as a way to avoid, like the lion chasing you, and they still remain in our brains, even though nowadays, most of us, at least in the first world, don't have those types of threats to our physical being as often. Kimberley: Oh, I love it. Okay. You already touched on this slightly and I just want to go over it quickly is, how might people use fierce compassion as a motivator and as something that encourages them? Because I think the way I conceptualize it is, you conceptualize the basketball coach who's like, “Get up in there and just go harder.” It's motivating, but it's almost also very critical. Can you share a little on that? Kristin: Yeah. Self-criticism or harshness does work as a motivator. There are coaches like that who do get some results out of their players, but there's a lot of unintended consequences. Anxiety actually, believe it or not, is one of the poor byproducts of criticism because fear of failure, fear of not performing up to your ability, fear of making mistakes, that actually gets generated. When you know that you're going to beat yourself if you don't reach your goals, then that actually adds to your anxiety, and that makes it harder to reach your goals. Fear of failure, procrastination is a classic example. Self-handicapping, some people do that because they don't want to risk failure because they're too afraid of failing, because they know they're going to be so harsh on themselves if they do fail. But some people make the mistake of thinking that self-compassion is just about acceptance. Like, “Well, it's okay if you don't succeed. Well, everyone is imperfect.” Although it's true, it is okay if you don't succeed, it is true that everyone's imperfect, that doesn't mean that you don't want to succeed. But the reason you want to succeed is very different. Some people want to succeed because if they don't succeed their failure, they're going to hate themselves, they're going to shame themselves. Other people want to succeed because they want to be happy. They care about themselves. They don't want to suffer. It's a much healthier form of motivation. It comes from the desire for care and well-being as opposed to fear of failure or inadequacy. And then because of that, when the bottom line is, “Hey, I'm going to try my best. I'm going to do everything I can to succeed. But if I fail, that's okay too,” what that means is anxiety levels go down. There's less fear of failure. There's less procrastination. There's less performance anxiety. This is the key. When you do fail, you're able to learn from it. I mean, it's a truism that failure is our best teacher. If we shame ourselves when we fail, when we're full of shame, we can't actually learn. We're just hanging our heads. We can't really see clearly. We can't process. But when it's like, “Okay, wow, that hurts. Ouch. Well, everyone fails. What can I learn from this? It doesn't mean that I'm a failure just because I failed.” That ability to learn actually helps your motivation and helps sustain your motivation. It's just much more effective. We know this with our kids and a lot of coaches know it. Not all coaches know, but a lot of coaches know their players. They may be tough like mama bear tough. But the thing about mama bear is you also know mama bear loves you. She's doing it because she cares. When she's just snarling at you, you don't get that sense of being cared for. You get that sense of being inadequate. We know the difference, including with her own internal dialogues. We know the difference. Does this come from a place of care or a place of shame? Kimberley: You know what's interesting, and you probably know this, probably experienced this, but as I was writing my book, I was saying nice things, but I caught myself saying them in a tone that wasn't nice. I was going, “No, I haven't said anything.” I was saying like, “You could do it, keep going,” but the tone was so mean like, “Keep going!” Do you want to share a little bit about that? Kristin: Yeah. Well, tone is so huge. One of the main ways, the idea that the feeling of compassion is communicated, especially the infants before they get language, is through touch and through tone of voice. Universally, we know the certain types of touch that feel caring and supportive and others that feel either indifferent or threatening in some way. Also tone, there's a certain quality to the voice when it's caring versus when it's harsh. Most of that is communicated to infants before they know how to speak. It's not just what you say, it's how you say it, and it's also how you hold your body. There's physical touch. But even just like, is your body slammed or is upright, physical signals of care are really important. We teach both right. Kimberley: I'm asking this actually for myself because it didn't occur to me right now is how might I be fierce with the tone? How does the fierce tone sound? Kristin: Yeah. It's firm, but it's not harsh. It's like, “No, that's not okay,” instead of, “No, that's not okay!” It's not vicious. It's not, “No, that's not okay, you stupid idiot!” It's like, “No, that's not okay.” Kimberley: Yeah. That's the nuance that I think I have to work on. Kristin: “It's not really okay. Is it okay?” It's like waffling and wish-washy. By the way, I'm saying this, it's not easy to get it right, and I get it wrong all the time. Fierceness and tenderness have to be balanced. My problem is, even though I was raised as a woman and for most women, they aren't allowed to be fierce, I'm actually probably more yang than yin just by nature, just by my genes. My problem is I am too fierce without being tender enough. I'm always apologizing and saying, “I'm so sorry, please forgive me,” because I get out of balance the other way. Sometimes I just say it so bluntly and I forget to cushion it with some sort of niceness or reminder that I care. And that's not healthy either. It's a process. It's not like a destination, you get there and you're done. It's like, “Okay, I got it wrong this way, got it wrong that way.” You always have to be trying to recorrect. But as long as you allow yourself not to have to be perfect, then you can keep going. You keep trying. It is a process. It's a process of compassion. The goal isn't to get it right, it's just to open your heart. So, as long as we do all of this with an open heart, out of goodwill, the desire to help ourselves and others, then it's okay. But it is tricky, and I would be lying if I said that it wasn't. It is. Kimberley: Yeah. Here I am thinking that I'm really good at this stuff, and I was hearing my tone and going, “Wow, that's not cool. You're saying kind things, but not with a great tone.” I have two more questions or things I want to touch on really quickly. Will you talk about these two topics of fulfillment and equanimity? I know you touched on them in the book, but I loved what you are to say. Kristin: Yeah. Fulfillment is also an aspect of self-compassion. So, if we want to help ourselves and be well, we really need to value what's important to us. First of all, we need to know our values. Is it just what society says? You have to earn a certain amount of money. You've got to look a certain way. You've got to be popular. What's really important to us? Sometimes it's personal, like music or art or nature. Sometimes it's honesty or sometimes it's helping others. But we know our inner values. Part of compassion is asking ourselves what's really important to us and valuing ourselves enough to actually fulfill our own needs. Again, there's a gender difference. Men have raised feeling entitled to get their needs met. It's not really the question. Of course, I'm going to get my needs met. Isn't it to everyone? Well, actually, not necessarily. Class, and a lot of things go into this, but gender certainly does. Women are valued for being self-sacrificing. Women are valued, especially toward their kids, for denying their own needs and helping others. That's how people like us. That's how we get our sense of worth. So that sets us up in a situation that in order to feel worthy, we have to give up what's important to us, which actually undermines our own sense of self. Sometimes the term we use is “Give to others without losing yourself.” Part of that is knowing what you need to be happy and fulfilled and giving yourself permission to take the time, energy, effort to meet those needs. It's not instead of other people, it's in addition to. It's including yourself in the equation. My research shows that self-compassionate people, they don't subordinate their needs, but it's not like my way or the high way. They actually are more likely to compromise and say, “Well, how can we come to a solution that meets everyone's needs?” And that's really what we need to do to be balanced. Kimberley: Yeah. I loved that. I really did. Oh my goodness, this is so good. Before we finish up, would you tell us where people can hear about you and your book or your books? Tell us where we can get to you. Kristin: Yeah. Probably the easiest place to start is just my website, which is self-compassion.org. If you Google it, you'll find me. I got in early, so all the algorithms come to my website. Just type self-compassion, you'll find me. On that side, I've got, for instance, if you want to test your own self-compassion level, you can take the scale that I created to measure self-Compassion. I have guided meditations, I have practices, I have exercises. I have a new page on Fierce Self-Compassion that especially has fierce self-compassion exercises. I have research. If you're a research nerd, there's hundreds and hundreds of PDFs of research articles on there. There's also a link to the Center for Mindful Self-Compassion, which is really the nonprofit I started with Chris Germer that does self-compassion training. That's also a really good place. You could take courses online. You can get training really easily now. Kimberley: I've taken the training three times and in three different ways. One was a weekend. One was the eight-week course. One was a two-day. I think that can meet everybody. Online, I did one of them that was finished online because of COVID. Really, really great. So, thank you. Is there anything you feel like we've missed that you want to make sure we cover before we finish up? Kristin: I just like to encourage people just to try it out. I mean, the research is overwhelming in terms of the well-being and strength and resilient self-compassion can give you. Life is tough and it's getting tougher every day with this pandemic and global warming. I mean, everything is really, really tough. So, we have this resource available, this resource of friendliness, of kindness, of support, just available at any moment. You don't have to sit down and meditate. You don't have to even go to a class. You just have to think, what do I need to care for myself in this moment? You can actually do it. It's like a superpower that people don't even know they have. It's just like to tell people, “Hey, you've got this ability. It's right in your back pocket. You just need to remember to take it out.” Kimberley: I love that. Thank you. Thank you so much for your time. I'm so grateful. Kristin: You're welcome. Thanks for having me. ----- Please note that this podcast or any other resources from cbtschool.com should not replace professional mental health care. If you feel you would benefit, please reach out to a provider in your area. Have a wonderful day and thank you for supporting cbtschool.com. Links: Kristen Neff's Website https://self-compassion.org/ Fierce Self-Compassion https://www.amazon.com/dp/006299106X/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_BT4GGYF8XFE1TJ7DPGBT?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1
Wassu member's new episode to vibe and tap into and let us know how yall feel in the reviews and ratings. SHOUT OUT TO REEM, NIYAH, AND CLARISSA SLIDING THRU! SUPPORT BLACK BUSINESSES!!! FOLLOW CLARISSA@SIMPLIII.C FOLLOW NIYAH IG@NIYAHKIRSTEN FOLLOW REEM IG@REEMRECORDING FOLLOW US ON SOCIALS: @NICKGABEE @JC_MEYER13 @CALLME_WISE FOLLOW OUR PODCAST IG @DVP_561 LINK FOR OUR PATREON FOR VISUAL EPISODES https://www.patreon.com/DVP561 Timestamps: INTRO 00-10:00 (sorry for the noise) RULES TO BORROWING MONEY 10:00-22:00 ARE MEN BETTER FRIENDS THAN WOMEN 22:00-42:00 GOD TALK 42:00-52:00 BEST DATE/WORST DATE 52:00-OUTRO --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/diamond-verses-podcast/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/diamond-verses-podcast/support
Do you ever struggle to speak up? To voice your opinion, do things others don't like, or get out of your shell? If so, you're in good company.This can be a hard one for us as empaths since so many of us have been burned by trying to do so.But it's time for more empaths to start speaking up. In little ways, in big ways, it doesn't matter. We just need to speak up. Speak up for our beliefs. For our needs. Voice our thoughts. Share our stories. We need your voice. Please don't listen to the voices that keep you quiet (yours or others). Let's speak up together.In this episode we're talking about:Why using your voice is imperative,The importance of creating ripples,Why so many empaths have been burned by doing so in the past,5 easy steps to help you speak up,How to take care of your energy when pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, And more!Support the show (https://buymeacoffee.com/empathup)
This episode is brought to you by Evy's new course Becoming Bulletproof: How To Read People And Detect Deception. Go to http://Bulletproof.ImpactTheory.com to learn more. Though we all know how important communication is for literally every relationship you have, very few have taken the time to learn how to do it well. When communication is not done well, relationships suffer, individuals suffer and the consequences can be high stakes. If there's any chance of your communication needing improvement, you're in the right place. Grab and pen and paper, you'll want to take notes and add this to your favorite playlist to listen to again. Evy Poumpouras is a former secret service agent and an Unstoppable Badass, here to lay out everything you need to know about communication alongside Unstoppable Badass, Lisa Bilyeu. Spoiler Alert! This is about you, and the tactics you can learn and practice to improve your communication skills to build rapport. It's not about what the other person should do. Unstoppable Women of Impact Tips: ● Build rapport ● Tell the other person exactly what you're looking for Evy's Strategies for Building Rapport 1. Acceptance: recognize what is being said without trying to change or protest it. 2. Adaptability: able to adjust to new conditions or circumstances. 3. Autonomy: having the capacity to make informed and uncoerced decisions. 4. Empathy: ability to see from the other person's perspective Unstoppable Communication Questions to Ask: ● Who are you speaking to? ● Who is that person? ● How do I speak to this person? ● What is your goal and what is the best way for you to achieve that goal? Unstoppable Key Terms: Rapport: The ability to understand and communicate with people Mirroring: When one person imitates how the person across moves, talks or acts Identify Based Motivation: Where perception of self motivates you to take action toward a goal Instrumental Based Motivation: The end state is what's motivating the person to take action Relational Motivation: The way that two or more people are connected Order Evy Poumpouras' book, Becoming Bulletproof: https://amzn.to/3hDQ4e4 SHOW NOTES: Build Rapport | Eva on why established rapport is a ping pong match for communication [0:45] Strategies | 4 ways to build rapport and keep people talking and communicating [1:41] Using Strategies | Example for using these strategies with close relationships & situations [8:07] Building Blocks | How building rapport establishes connection, trust and faith [10:23] Close Relationships | Handling rapport and these strategies with close family & friends [13:28] Being Adaptable | Not being so rigid, allowing people the space y build rapport [16:15] Lisa's Rapport | Lisa shares behind the scenes ways that she builds rapport with guests [17:51] Get In Synch | Identity motivation vs instrumental motivation & getting to cooperation [19:26] Cooperative Zone | When you find a way to move the conversation forward together [26:53] Motivation | Eva explains how to use base motivations to get in synch and adapt [33:20] Identity Vs. Instrumental | Lisa and Eva showing you how it's done [34:03] Choose Your Words Thoughtfully | Define words that you use, comply vs. resist [35:40] ‘No' | Improving ways that you say no with compassion and without being harsh [41:38] ‘Sorry' | Ways that language diminishes you when you apologize for everything [43:13] Word Play | How words land with people: powerful, shut people down, provoke reaction [46:25] Word Challenge | Lisa & Eva share how different words make them feel [47:13] QUOTES: “When it comes to communication, rapport is king. When you have rapport you have trust. When you have trust you have cooperation.” Evy Poumpouras [0:48] “I have someone who's giving me no trust, and I want to move that relationship forward, I do it through rapport.” Evy Poumpouras [8:00] “People don't remember what you say to them, what people remember is how you make them feel.” Evy Poumpouras [26:23] “Rather than me trying to change you, I'm going to adapt to you.” Evy Poumpouras [29:23] “Language can also diminish you and there are some people who their language is littered with, ‘I'm sorry' and I think when you use that language when it lands on that person, it lands in a negative way for you.” Evy Poumpouras [43:39] Follow Evy Poumpouras: Website: https://www.evypoumpouras.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/evypoumpouras LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/evypoumpouras/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/evypoumpouras/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/evypoumpouras/
In this new mini series within the FSC podcast, I'm taking you on the journey while I develop my non alc wine brand and build it in public. Everything from money stuff, to how you divide the company, learnings as we go and the ups & downs of building a CPG brand. If you have something you want me to cover, reach out on Twitter or Instagram.In partnership with Klaviyo, the best email marketing tool for ecommerce businesses.Female Startup Club's YouTubeFemale Startup Club's InstagramDoone's InstagramIn partnership with Klaviyo, the best email marketing tool for ecommerce businesses.Female Startup Club's YouTubeFemale Startup Club's Private Facebook GroupSay hello to Doone: firstname.lastname@example.orgFemale Startup Club $1000 Monthly Cash Give Away
This week's episode is about not letting fear hold you back from accomplishing your dreams/ goals. Sponsored by Urban Hippie Essentials: all natural, handmade products designed to make you glow. Use code: SPEAKUP for 10% off your purchase. Instagram: @urbanhippie.essentials www.urbanhippieessentials.org Podcast Instagram: @speakupjv
When we don't fully understand the new, front and centre, issues, there's a fear that we may look ‘stupid' and no one wants that. The danger is that we'll either run away, or pretend to understand and end up in a mess. This is often the case all hot subject of our time like diversity, inclusion, and allyship. What do they really mean and how can we address them with our teams in a thoughtful and empowering way? Our guest today is Julie Kratz. Julie holds an MBA from the Kelley School of Business at Indiana University. She is a Certified Master Coach and is a Certified Unconscious Bias Trainer. Her books include, Pivot Point: How to Build a Winning Career Game Plan and ONE: How Male Allies Support Women for Gender Equality. Julie's latest book is, Lead Like an Ally: A Journey Through Corporate America with Strategies to Facilitate Inclusion. Julie develops inclusive workplace cultures through allyship across gender, race, and all dimensions of diversity. She is a TEDx speaker, inclusive leadership trainer, executive coach, author, and founder of Next Pivot Point. More on Julie Kratz: Website: www.nextpivotpoint.com Book: https://tinyurl.com/AllyLeader Social Media: https://www.facebook.com/nextpivotpoint https://twitter.com/nextpivotpoint https://www.linkedin.com/in/juliekratz https://www.instagram.com/nextpivotpoint . . Part1) What is Diversity, inclusion, Allyship The Right Question to ask yourself about diversity What is Diversity, inclusion, Allyship and a They the Same No One Wants to Feel Stupid How to Speak Up without getting Canned Have you over or underestimated your impact? When is It Too Late To Speak Up How to Help Me Help You Pulling the Weeds and Planting the Seeds . . . Curious about how to tap into what drives meaning in your life and create meaningful transformation in the lives you touch? Take a look at DovBaron.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Lt. Col Oliver North, USMC [Ret] was the counter-terrorism coordinator on President Reagan's NSC staff. He is now CEO of Fidelis Publishing and Fidelis Media. His latest book is We Didn't Fight for Socialism: America's Veterans Speak Up. Learn more about your ad-choices at https://www.iheartpodcastnetwork.com
Welcome to the show! This week's episode is for the woman who wants to feel bold and powerful when she speaks in meetings. No matter what your starting point is, there's a powerful voice inside you and the first step to bringing it out is knowing what obstacles are blocking it. No matter what your specific situation is, the struggle to speak up is almost always caused by one of three different obstacles. In this episode I'll walk you through what these obstacles are and help you identify which ones apply to you so you can focus on solutions that will actually work when it comes to developing your voice. I hope you enjoy this episode! To join the waitlist for The Art of Speaking Up Academy, click here: https://jessguzikcoaching.com/academy/ Catch you next week! XO Jess
I am honored to have in this episode a body confidence activist, speaker, writer, cover girl, and podcast host Sarah Nicole Landry. Sarah shares to us the power and impact of social media when we use it to our advantage. By listening to others' stories, understand their battles, and support their causes, we are collectively solving one problem at a time: Women in a Relationship [9:55] “Greatest love story that I will ever live out is the one with myself.” Sarah's Story [13:13] “We all share so much humanity together.” The Power of Social Media [23:10] “I needed to understand what they are going through.” Sarah and Her Kids [25:20] “You really have to learn each individual person and figure out how to show up for them.” Validation [32:19] “It made me move into this world with less fear and more peace.” Speak Up [34:07] “How can I play a part for this community?” The Fear of Being Wrong [38:00] “Being wrong is not my worst quality.” Complimenting on Someone's Body [46:50] “Comments, while positively intended, creates this air of caution to every woman who listens.” Knicks [56:00] “I want them to be in your closet for five years.” Sarah also advocates for women empowerment and encourages her followers to love their body and see their worth from within. After having gone through several pregnancies, Sarah chose to celebrate her body as it is and hold space for women. As for Sarah, the most important thing that we can do in holding space for each other is to show-up and support. Like how we do it here. Connect with me at: Instagram @chaselifewithkelly Youtube ChaseLife with Kelly Facebook https://www.facebook.com/groups/chaselifetogether/ Website www.chaselifetogether.com Connect with Sarah Nicole Landry: Instagram @thebirdspapaya Website thebirdspapaya.com Podcast The Papaya Podcast App The Pink Papaya Review this podcast and share with friends!
***We've marked this episode as explicit because I dropped a swear word (once). We keep it real and unfiltered around here so we didn't cut or bleep it out. It's late in the episode, but wanted to give you a heads up in case there's small ears around***Have you ever felt this pull to do something bigger?Inevitably there comes a point where you doubt yourself and start second guessing all your decisions.Maybe they're big life questions. Or maybe it's little things, like which lead magnet to go with, or figuring out what topic to talk about on a live stream. Or resisting niching down.It's a struggle most budding entrepreneurs are grappling with often early on in their business. Chances are it's likely you've felt this before. I recently shared a mantra that shifted things for members inside Speak Up to Level Up, and it was so powerful I had to hit record and share with you.Episode Highlights & Key Takeaways (full transcript below):The early story of my business that lead me to my passionHow can you apply the mantra: "It's for now, not forever" to help you in your business Taking the pressure off of needing to be so permanent and perfectActivity you can try to help you be kinder to yourselfGrab the show notes and full episode transcript here. ➡️ http://heathersager.com/blog/118>> JOIN INFLUENTIAL SPEAKING FOR ONLINE ENTREPRENEURS, our free Facebook community where you can ask questions and connect with other business owners leveling up their speaking and marketing chops. ➡️http://heathersager.com/community>> CONNECT WITH HEATHER ON INSTAGRAM @theheathersager for daily tips and inspiration.
Cindy and Ralph discuss the concept of psychological safety – feeling confident in your ability to speak your mind without fear of retribution – and offer tips to help improve the sense of psychological safety for yourself and your team.
A no-nonsense leader is asked to add coaching to her list of duties. She turns to the coach who'd coached her for a quick immersion course. Coaching your people requires a shift in thinking and a specific set of behaviors. These ideas are captured in a PDF about the GROW model. It's available to you for free here.This month we are offering three free mini-courses. Come join us!Demystifying Workplace ConflictUnderstanding Yourself and Others (DiSC)Get 15% off your registration with either of these courses by using the coupon code PODCAST at checkout. Offer applies to your first registration.The Look & Sound of LeadershipGet 50% off our flagship course with the coupon code LEADERSHIP at checkout!During the episode, Tom and Laurel mentioned Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When the Stakes are High. A great skill-building resource.This episode lives in three categories in the Podcast Library:Management SkillsPerception – How you Perceive OthersRelationship Building.Five related episodes you might listen to are: 132 – Coaching Your People 91 – Facilitating Open Dialogue 155 – The Human Element83 – Leadership and Listening 26 – Questions as LeadershipYou can explore more ideas about coaching your people on Dave Stachowiak's Coaching For Leaders podcast. Episode 190: How to Improve Your Coaching Skills.Tom raved about Dave's conversation with Connson Locke. That's on Coaching for Leadership, Episode 546: How to Speak Up. Catch Tom answering coaching questions on the Unlocking Leadership – Ask the Coaches podcast. How To Build Executive PresenceHow to Become a Strategic ThinkerRebuilding Engagement prior to Restructuring, Can an Executive Coach Help?Gratitude, as always, to those who reach out to us and to those who post reviews. Thanks!From all of us here at The Look & Sound of Leadership, be healthy and safe. Thanks for listening.See you next month!Sohee Tom
Influential Personal Brand SummitHope provides us with some pro tips to up your public speaking game, Jason and Hope talk about how entrepreneurship is like a river and Hope shares her experience coaching and leading high-level leaders through keynotes, boardrooms presentations, and everything else in between. "Speak up, damn it."Hope Timberlake is a speaker, trainer, and author who focuses on the communication side of leadership. She is passionate about persuasive messaging, relationship building, executive presence, and elevating the voices of women and those underrepresented in leadership. Her book, Speak Up, Dammit! How to Quiet Your Fears, Polish Your Presence, and Share Your Voice will be published October 5, 2021. Hope works with executives and their teams across many industries at companies including AirBnB, Autodesk, Bank of America, BlackRock, Dropbox, Intel, PlayStation, Splunk, and many scaling start-ups. By creating rapport and building trust, Hope successfully empowers people to excel as communicators and leaders. Her energy, creativity and results-oriented approach make her keynotes and workshops impactful, engaging and entertaining Hope earned her Bachelor of Arts degree from Duke University and completed a Masters degree at the University of California, Berkeley. She lives in the San Francisco Bay Area with her husband, teenaged children, and dog Mona.https://www.linkedin.com/in/hopetimberlake/ https://www.instagram.com/hopetimberlake/ https://www.hopetimberlake.com/ https://www.facebook.com/speakupdamnitEnjoying the podcast? Please tell your friends, give us a shoutout and a follow on social media and take a moment to leave us a review at https://lovethepodcast.com/talkingtocoolpeople.Find the show at all of the cool spots below.WebsiteFacebookInstagramIf something from this or any episode has sparked your interest and you'd like to connect about it, please email us at email@example.com. We love hearing from our listeners!If you are interested in being a guest on the show, please visit jasonfrazell.com/podcast and click on the “Learn More” button at the bottom of the page.
Do you add smileys or filler words to your emails and sometimes even go back and delete a bunch of exclamation points in order to tone down your requests? You are not alone. As women, it sometimes feels like as if we can only lose. If we're too nice, we're not being taken seriously and if we're too assertive, we are not likable because society expects us women to be warm and empathetic but not strong.On this week's episode, our host Thamina is joined by Hope Timberlake, Speaker, Trainer, and Coach on persuasive communication, relationship building, and overcoming obstacles to speaking up. She is particularly passionate about elevating and amplifying the voices of women and underrepresented minorities.Thamina and Hope talk about how women can find the right balance between strength and warmth, so we stop discrediting ourselves and become more confident and courageous in our communication. If you're hooked, we also recommend you check out Hope's new book "Speak Up, Dammit! How to Quiet Your Fears, Polish Your Presence, and Share Your Voice".
Guest: Jennifer Gray, MS, CCC-SLP - Speech clarity is possible for many of those with Down syndrome. New therapy techniques in motor speech, voice, and executive functioning are emerging and present viable options. Several were discussed: How to generate active engagement, voice-based methods, and how to encourage frequent practice to accelerate speech and language used to improve comprehension for success and independence.
Today's episode deals with the most recent insanity that involves K-12 school boards. Piper discusses the letter that was sent by the National Association of School Boards to Biden decrying the parents speaking out against CRT and mask mandates across the country as if it's not their right and they are actually criminals or worse. Ready to join The Rebellion? Become a patreon member and enjoy some great extras while supporting our efforts to speak the Truth into our culture. Learn more at patreon.com/dreverettpiper. Find more resources and info at dreverettpiper.com
** SPEAK UP TO LEVEL UP DOORS OPEN **We're hosting our first and only LIVE cohort inside my program, Speak Up to Level Up and DOORS ARE OPEN. But only for a few short days.If you're ready finally start showing up and talking about your business in a way that reflects the quality of the work you do and ATTRACT your dream clients, it's time to create a signature us inside this special live cohort of Speak Up to Level Up where you'll learn to become a magnetic speaker and create a signature talk that pulls audiences toward your offers.Get all the details ➡️ https://www.heathersager.com/enroll****Confidence. It's the word that I hear most when people tell me their goals related to speaking. People often consider it a feeling that you either have or must fake it until you magically do. How is it that we can be so confident in some areas, but insecure in others?Today I'm sharing with you where confidence comes from and how you can consistently grow it for yourself. So if you're struggling with confidence because you're venturing into something new or struggling with self doubt, this message today is for you. Grab the show notes and full episode transcript here. ➡️ http://heathersager.com/blog/117>> JOIN INFLUENTIAL SPEAKING FOR ONLINE ENTREPRENEURS, our free Facebook community where you can ask questions and connect with other business owners leveling up their speaking and marketing chops. ➡️http://heathersager.com/community>> CONNECT WITH HEATHER ON INSTAGRAM @theheathersager for daily tips and inspiration. If you're ready finally start showing up and talking about your business in a way that reflects the quality of the work you do and ATTRACT your dream clients, it's time to create a signature us inside this special live cohort of Speak Up to Level Up where you'll learn to become a magnetic speaker and create a signature talk that pulls audiences toward your offers. Get all the details ➡️ https://www.heathersager.com/enroll If you're ready finally start showing up and talking about your business in a way that reflects the quality of the work you do and ATTRACT your dream clients, it's time to create a signature us inside this special live cohort of Speak Up to Level Up where you'll learn to become a magnetic speaker and create a signature talk that pulls audiences toward your offers. Get all the details ➡️ https://www.heathersager.com/enroll
It can be scary standing up for yourself, and speaking up for what you want. You don't want to upset anyone and you don't want them to look at you in a negative way. But at some point sis, you can't keep setting yourself on fire to keep others warm. You can't keep bending, and […] The post Speak Up So They Can Hear You appeared first on Slay Girl, Slay.
Have you ever thought about how much power you have? Not so much the power of a superhero or in an authoritative position but rather as a human being. You have power in your relationships and how you decide to move forward with them. You get to decide who has access to your life, your time, and your peace. Sometimes we get caught up in the history with someone or our feelings for them or their role in our lives but if we're aiming towards healthier relationships in general then we need to be able to decide for ourselves if we need to keep them around. It's up to every person to decide how to move forward. You always have more power than you think so make sure to get it back. Sponsored by Urban Hippie Essentials: @urbanhippie.essentials All natural, handmade products designed to make you glow. Use code SPEAKUP for 10% off your purchase. Podcast Instagram: @speakupjv
This week's episode is about changing our perspective on heartbreak. Sponsored by Urban Hippie Essentials: all natural, handmade products designed to make you glow. Use code: SPEAKUP for 10% off your purchase. Instagram: @urbanhippie.essentials www.urbanhippieessentials.org Podcast Instagram: @speakupjv
Marvel's Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings contains a story filled with psychological elements, including trauma, death, loss, anger, and (very) complicated family dynamics. Sharon and Dwight break it down on today's episode. Sharon Blady is a frequent guest on the Broken Brain Podcast. She is the former Health Minister of the Province of Manitoba, and is the founder of Speak Up with Sharon Blady. Learn more about her work at https://www.speak-up.co/
I welcome back my wife, Jody, and her sister, Jamee, co-hosts of the popular Speak Up Sister podcast, for the second installment of our interview talking about how we can know it's time to speak up and use our voices. We go through 9 indicators that signal that it's time to speak up about things that matter. In this episode, we cover the second portion of these items. You can download a free copy of these steps on http://www.speakupsister.net Download Geoff's FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse: https://www.geoffsteurer.com/3-steps-to-end-your-marriage-argument Connect with Geoff Steurer: www.instagram.com/geoffsteurer/ www.facebook.com/GeoffSteurerMFT Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Jody Steurer I've always been really interested in human behavior and interaction, so I studied it at Brigham Young University and graduated with a BS in psychology. While my husband, Geoff, and I raised our four lively children (two with neurodevelopment disorders), I stayed up with the latest research on how humans struggle and thrive. Life and my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ taught me how interconnected it all is to our relationship with the Divine. It's still my favorite topic of conversation and I often get invited to speak about it at church and in the community. I am also a certified life coach, which allows me to support many people in living true to their values and aspirations. About Jamee Adams Like Jody, I have a deep interest in successful human relationships, specifically focusing on recurring patterns and large group applications. I have a Master's degree from Tel Aviv University Israel in Public Policy, emphasizing conflict resolution, and currently work with a psychological testing company. I'm married to Jason (a clinical psychologist), I have 4 children, and my heart is planted firmly in the Church of Jesus Christ. Having had difficult experiences learning how to use my voice consistently and effectively, I know how challenging it can be. But speaking up shines a bright light into otherwise dim places, and the more light there is, the more we all can see together.
About the episode Welcome to Season 3 of Grief is a Sneaky Bitch! In Self-Compassion and Grief, host Lisa Keefauver sat down with world-renowned self-compassion researcher, Dr. Kristin Neff. She is author of the bestselling book Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself, and recently released her new book Fierce Self-Compassion: How Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and Thrive. Lisa's thoughts on this episode: “Dr. Neff shared so much practical wisdom in this episode. Her research and insights on self-compassion have served me so profoundly in my personal and professional grief work, I tried my best to keep my cool and not be too much of a groupie/nerd!”Jump straight into:(00:47) - Kristin's earliest memory of grief: A different kind of loss - “I've had much more ambiguous loss. Grief about people not being what you hoped they'd be as opposed to losing what they actually were.”(05:43) - The ability of uncertainty and the power of self-compassion - “Every single thing is going to end and the courage to look at that and to be open to it is the most powerful form of practice.”(11:25) - How to transform your connection with emotions - “At some level, you get to the point where the whole goal is just to be present with the arising of each moment that we have no control over.”(20:47) - Shock and the physical impact of self-compassion - “What is really most important is that you have the door of compassion open as much as possible, even if that's open to numbness.”(26:21) - Self-compassion as an antidote to shame and guilt - “When we take things personally and identify with them, and say what does this mean about me? That's when things get really sticky.”(31:40) - Caretaker burnout: What is empathetic distress and how to manage it - “There's a lot of satisfaction that comes from compassion, giving, and helping. But if you're so drained, and burned out, you can't connect with that.”(36:48) - What is rumination and how can we cut it out? - “Rumination is directly tied to both anxiety and depression. Anxiety is ruminating on worries, depression is ruminating on the past, on what went wrong or regret.”(42:17) - Self-compassion self vs. self-pity: How to be kind but motivated - “Being supportive to yourself helps a lot, makes you a lot stronger than cutting yourself down and shaming yourself. But the number one block, the research shows, is the motivation piece.”Thanks for listening! If you're feeling social, don't forget to follow Lisa on Instagram. Make sure to leave a rating and write a review today on Apple Podcasts so that more people can find us. Episode ResourcesVisit Dr. Neff's website self-compassion.org to learn more about her work including her books, research, blog posts, and other great resources around self-compassion. While you're there, we highly recommend you get her books, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself and Fierce Self-Compassion: Women Can Harness Kindness to Speak Up, Claim Their Power and ThriveEpisode SponsorSpecial thanks to our episode sponsor, Recalibrate, providing workplace mental wellness that empowers mental & emotional learning. Visit www.recalibratemind.com to learn moreAbout The showIf you love deep, honest, authentic conversations, get ready to love Grief is a Sneaky Bitch. Host Lisa Keefauver, the founder of Reimagining Grief, holds an extensive grief resume herself, as a social worker, narrative therapist, grief guide, and widow. From CEOs and social workers to authors, educators, filmmakers, and stay-at-home moms, her guests open up about the complexity, confusion, and even confidence they have gained by navigating a grief journey of their own. Through her work at Reimagining Grief, Lisa offers a variety of services and products from individual grief sessions, to guided meditations, workshops, company culture consulting and even a line of beautiful and authentic Empathy Cards. To learn more visit www.reimagininggrief.comInviting you to follow @reimagininggrief on all your favorite socials too for the latest news on this podcast, daily invitations on grief wisdom and so much more. See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.
Hi 3rd! Are you loving this libra season? Come kick it with us while we discuss how libra szn is treating us, toxic Twitter and Instagram?, dating shows we'd be on, when Virgos speak up the most and what question you should never ask on a 1st date Please don't forget to rate our podcast on whatever platform it is your listening to us on and leave us a review - it helps us so so much!! We love you xoxo
Do you ever hesitate to speak up in a meeting or in a situation that you perceive to be risky? My guest Dr. Doreen Downing shares practical, valuable tips that can make those moments more comfortable and enjoyable for you. You'll love Doreen's approach to helping people identify their negative thoughts and beliefs that prevent them from feeling safe about speaking up. In conquering her own stage fright, she discovered being connected to your authentic self is the key to relaxed and confident speaking.Doreen is a Psychologist, Founder of the Essential Speaking Institute, and host of the podcast, Find Your Voice, Change Your Life. Her experience as a therapist helps her create a safe space for clients who want to get past the fears and doubts that have held them back from being their authentic selves. Doreen now specializes in the treatment of public speaking anxiety. You'll discover: How Doreen's training as a psychologist helps her in her work with clientsThe fears that prevent people from offering their opinions and ideas in meetings or risky situationsHow to recognize when you're being authentic so you speak with great confidenceWhy Doreen uses the word BE as the first word in each of her 7 stepsWhat's required to BE Silent and quiet a busy mind
We discuss our thoughts on government mandates. However you feel about getting the vaccine, the right to choice should be our own. #Opiñado #Podcast #Privacy #FreeThinker #MentalHealth #FedUp #Equality #Financial #PersonalHealth #Health #California #SpeakOut #Facts #FreedomOverFear #ForThePeople #Republic #Safety #NickiMinaj #TrialRun #YesterdaysHerosTodaysVilans #Nurses #FreedomOfChoice #EducateYourself #NoMandates #DontTellMeWhatToDo #BeYou #ThinkAboutIt #MyBodyMyChoice #Conservative #political ... #ConservativeWomen #conservativeMen #Vaccine #BayArea #Worry #Covid #AntiBully #standUp #DoAsYouPlease #liveLife #free #share #podcast #opinado #podcastersOfInstagram #podcasting #theJab #shot #healthAndWellness #prepare #theFuture #RebloodicansVsDemocrips #RebloodicansAndDemocrips #stopTheViolence #choice #speakUp
Tyler McCall has established herself as an indispensable fashion figure. As a staunch proponent of inclusive sizing years before it was the norm, Tyler's main focus has been on the issues which are changing and shaping the fashion business to be more inclusive. With extensive knowledge of fashion, pop culture, and beauty, Tyler is the Editor-In-Chief of Fashionista.com, a website regarded as one of the most influential voices covering fashion news, criticism, and career advice for the industry and influential fashion-focused consumers. She's come a long way from her days as an undergrad at the University of Florida, where she used to leave comments on the site religiously. She now continues to leave her mark, expanding readers' minds on what can be fashionable beyond the typical margins of the industry. Prior to being the Editor-In-Chief at Fashionista.com, McCall spent most of her career rising in the ranks at the platform. From being an intern, editorial assistant to senior associate editor, Tyler's fashion interest eventually led her to a brief experience as Digital Fashion Editor at Teen Vogue and Social Media Manager at Vogue, before returning back to Fashionista.com as Deputy Editor. During her climb, she learned some valuable lessons, all of which she shares in this episode. As a loyal fan of Gossip Girl, she now channels that dedicated energy into #WaldorfWednesdays, a recurring series dedicated to Blair Waldorf's style, and #SerenaSaturdays, devoted to Serena van der Woodsen's style on her Instagram. After becoming an expert on the subject, she was invited to lend a hand when the show rebooted, proving that your fan passion can lead to unique opportunities. *** This episode of LEAVE YOUR MARK is brought to you by Madison Reed, the hair color company revolutionizing the way women color their hair. This fast-growing disruptor brand offers luxurious, Smart-8 Free hair-color formula (that's free of harsh ingredients like PPD, ammonia, and parabens), that makes your hair look and feel fabulous. Madison Reed is truly your one-stop-shop for all things hair color. Whether you're at a Hair Color Bar or coloring at home with a Radiant Hair Color kit, you get the same amazing results every time. Madison Reed's proprietary color-matching technology coupled with a team of on-call colorists help women choose their perfect shade of hair color. With over 40 Hair Color Bars in 17 markets and many more to come, Madison Reed is fast becoming the leader in hair color. The full line of products can be found online at madison-reed.com and in Madison Reed Hair Color Bars, in addition to Ulta Beauty and Ulta Beauty at Target. First time customers can use ALIZA20 20% off + free shipping on Madison-Reed.com and local Hair Color Bar services.
This week's episode is about elevating to the next level of you life and dealing with the chaos in between. Sponsored by Urban Hippie Essentials: all natural, handmade products designed to make you glow. Use code: SPEAKUP for 10% off your purchase. Instagram: @urbanhippie.essentials www.urbanhippieessentials.org Podcast Instagram: @speakupjv
I welcome back my wife, Jody, and her sister, Jamee, co-hosts of the popular Speak Up Sister podcast, to talk about how we can know it's time to speak up and use our voices. We go through 9 indicators that signal that it's time to speak up about things that matter. In this episode, we cover the first portion of these items and will cover the remainder in the following episode. You can download a free copy of these steps on http://www.speakupsister.net Download Geoff's FREE guide to help you quickly end arguments with your spouse: https://www.geoffsteurer.com/3-steps-to-end-your-marriage-argument Connect with Geoff Steurer: www.instagram.com/geoffsteurer/ www.facebook.com/GeoffSteurerMFT Visit http://www.geoffsteurer.com for online courses and other supportive resources. About Jody Steurer I've always been really interested in human behavior and interaction, so I studied it at Brigham Young University and graduated with a BS in psychology. While my husband, Geoff, and I raised our four lively children (two with neurodevelopment disorders), I stayed up with the latest research on how humans struggle and thrive. Life and my membership in the Church of Jesus Christ taught me how interconnected it all is to our relationship with the Divine. It's still my favorite topic of conversation and I often get invited to speak about it at church and in the community. I am also a certified life coach, which allows me to support many people in living true to their values and aspirations. About Jamee Adams Like Jody, I have a deep interest in successful human relationships, specifically focusing on recurring patterns and large group applications. I have a Master's degree from Tel Aviv University Israel in Public Policy, emphasizing conflict resolution, and currently work with a psychological testing company. I'm married to Jason (a clinical psychologist), I have 4 children, and my heart is planted firmly in the Church of Jesus Christ. Having had difficult experiences learning how to use my voice consistently and effectively, I know how challenging it can be. But speaking up shines a bright light into otherwise dim places, and the more light there is, the more we all can see together.
Steph Page and Ana Lena Copeland sit down to share about the upcoming episodes in the Survivors Speak series. Join us over the next few weeks for stories of restoration, healing and redemption.
» Read & Share the full article HERE One of the best pieces of advice I've ever received from a friend & mentor is the following: “Don't let others determine your value. Only you can determine your value.” Unfortunately the idea that we as creative professionals are undervalued for the unique contributions we bring to the entertainment industry is not a new one. For decades we have been considered replaceable widgets that are expendable. As legendary editor Walter Murch explained in our podcast together, several decades ago when approaching a studio executive to address the extreme working conditions, relentless stress, and impossible deadlines on a big budget tentpole film he was editing, he described the situation as: “People are dropping like flies.” The studio executive simply replied with: “Then get more flies.” We've now reached an impasse where decades worth of delivering miracles has become today's expectation, and how we function as a collective industry is no longer sustainable. Finally….FINALLY we have the opportunity to change how we live and work in the entertainment industry. But the only way things will change is if there are simply “no more flies” because we've all collectively decided to advocate for our needs and say ‘NO' to the impossible expectations asked of us every single day. Unfortunately as much as I want to believe we finally have the power to affect positive change, my greatest fear is those of us who value our work-life balance and our lives beyond our paychecks are still the vocal minority fighting against a much larger majority clutching their “golden time” in their cold, (nearly) dead hands. The only way for us to become the majority is to share with everyone who will listen – union, non-union, above the line, below the line, or otherwise – why we are fighting, how we ended up here, and why we deserve respect. But first… It's Gut Check Time I don't care what anyone has told you in the past about the brutal realities of what it really takes to “make it” in Hollywood or the necessity to “pay your dues” at the expense of your own life (figuratively or literally), the truth is: We deserve to love what we do for a living…but not at the expense of our health, our relationships, or our sanity. It doesn't matter if you're a PA getting coffee or if you're a department head with decades of experience, you as a human being deserve to be respected for your contribution to a project and valued accordingly. You are not obligated to show gratitude for the meal penalties and the endless 6th & 7th days in your paycheck earned at the expense of skipping lunches, sleeping on a couch or on apple boxes at hour 18 of the day/night, having to pee in bottles because you can't leave your post, or the countless missed medical appointments because there simply “isn't time in the schedule.” You don't have to consider yourself “lucky” for the opportunity to work in Tinsel Town at the expense of not being able to start a family or missing countless once-in-a-lifetime memories like weddings, funerals, birthday parties, and kids' recitals simply because whoever manages the budgets is completely incapable of building a schedule designed to set everyone up for success instead of failure. You don't need to sacrifice sleep, recovery time, and throw away entire relationships just so you can “suck it up” and wear your burnout badge of honor proudly alongside your colleagues who are literally shaving years off their lives simply to maintain a lifestyle they couldn't afford if they worked more humane hours. I've been saying for years that I don't believe work-life balance is a union issue, it's a human issue. But guess what – right now it's a union issue. And for those of you in the union like me, here comes the gut check: Are you willing to speak up for the respect you deserve? Because if you're not willing to speak up right now and advocate for more reasonable working conditions and compensation commensurate with your contributions, the way things are at this moment is the best it's ever going to be again. The current version of Hollywood and the entertainment industry as we know it will be dead. Here's Why We Are Fighting » Continue Reading & Share the full article HERE
Ben & Woods start off Wednesday's show reacting to last night's Padres loss to the Giants, with the team showing some fight led by Manny Machado's 2 home runs. Then we get into the bigger story of the day, which was audio of Machado and Fernando Tatis Jr addressing the media before the game to discuss their dugout argument from this past weekend. Listen here! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
“You don't have to be big to make a difference.” While sprinting between leaders on Day 2 at the UN General Assembly, Ryan Heath sits down 1-on-1 with Hungary's foreign minister, Péter Szijjártó, and Estonia's president, Kersti Kaljulaid. Also: if you have the time, we're trying to learn more about our listeners. We'd appreciate it if you're able to take our short survey. Ryan Heath is the host of the "Global Insider" podcast and newsletter. Péter Szijjártó is the foreign minister of Hungary. Kersti Kaljulaid is the president of Estonia. Olivia Reingold produces “Global Insider.” Irene Noguchi edits “Global Insider” and is the executive producer of POLITICO Audio. You can subscribe to Ryan's “Global Insider” newsletter here. And check out POLITICO's other newsletters: China Watcher West Wing Playbook Playbook Nightly Corridors EU's Brussels Playbook Morning Tech Morning Energy Weekly Shift
As organizing and productivity professionals, communication is intricately tied into every part of our lives, whether we are speaking to clients, creating content online, or presenting and speaking at live events. So the sooner we can improve our communication skills and be the best at delivering our message, the better for everyone! Leveling up in this way will immediately lead to getting more work, and the work being more impactful, so we are very happy to welcome leadership communication expert Hope Timberlake, to share her wisdom on this vital subject! Hope is a speaker, trainer, and author, whose new book, Speak Up, Dammit will be available for purchase in October of 2021. Hope is dedicated to elevating the voices of women and the underrepresented in leadership, and her passion for persuasive messaging, relationship building, and executive presence, is empowering and hugely inspiring! In our chat today, Hope talks about sharing facts not favors, stating the bottom line on top, embracing the pause, and building confidence in your abilities. She runs through many helpful concepts and thought-provoking observations, and listeners can expect to come away with a renewed sense of agency for all of their future communications. So for all that and more, listen in with us today, on Stand Out! Key Points From This Episode: [00:02:47] The story behind Hope's book title and her main inspiration to write it. [00:05:08] First steps for developing your message to best reach an audience. [00:08:27] Important conversations in today's evolving professional landscape. [00:13:16] Hope's central concept of stating the bottom line on top, always. [00:18:02] Inclusivity and opening up the conversation to a broader range of minds. [00:19:53] Mistakes made with regards to listening; avoiding the fear of silence, and embracing the pause. [00:23:02] The power of ending statements with clarity instead of uncertainty. [00:25:20] Avoiding filler phrases and words, where these come from, and what to do about them. [00:31:46] A powerful exercise to create a stronger connection to pausing and emphasizing. [00:34:14] Hope's call to action for all of our listeners to record and listen to yourself! Links Mentioned in Today's Episode: NAPO — http://napo.net/join Hope Timberlake — https://www.hopetimberlake.com/ Speak Up, Dammit! — https://www.audible.com/pd/How-to-Speak-up-Dammit-with-Hope-Timberlake-Podcast/B094N472NK Hope Timberlake on Twitter — https://twitter.com/hopetimber Hope Timberlake on YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCRrghmzpA9J1bCDhl-R2fOg NAPO on YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfgICVg2b-bKSVmzoDKMrdg
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Listen today as Pastor Tyler continues in our series "God's Not Done" To stay connected to what's happening at Mission Church, follow us on any of the following platforms: Instagram www.instagram.com/missionchurchca Podcast missionchurchca.com/watch Newsletter missionchurchca.com/updates Mission Church is a new church in the East Bay Area of California. Get more info at www.missionchurchca.com
Connson Locke: Making Your Voice Heard Connson Locke is Professorial Lecturer in Management at the London School of Economics, where she teaches Leadership, Organizational Behaviour, and Negotiation and Decision Making. She has over 30 years experience as an educator, coach, and consultant working all around the world. Her highly popular Guardian Masterclass ‘Developing your presence, power and influence' regularly sells out. Connson is the recipient of a number of teaching awards from the London School of Economics. She's also the author of Making Your Voice Heard: How to Own Your Space, Access Your Inner Power, and Become Influential*. In this conversation, Connson and I explore the challenging situation that many professional experience: speaking up. We discuss several key tactics that Connson has surfaced in her research to do this more effectively. Plus, we highlight several of the lessons Connson has discovered in her own experience that will help us (and others) do this with more success. Key Points Managing your negative emotions can help create movement for you. Reflecting or journaling is a key starting point. Change your attitude about failure by framing a growth mindset. Move away from repetition and towards deliberate practice. Instead of focusing on power difference, zero in on the other person's role in helping you achieve a greater good. Plan free time around learning a new skill or helping others instead of watching Netflix or sitting on the beach. Resources Mentioned Making Your Voice Heard: How to Own Your Space, Access Your Inner Power, and Become Influential* by Connson Locke Interview Notes Download my interview notes in PDF format (free membership required). Related Episodes Use Power for Good and Not Evil, with Dacher Keltner (episode 254) Get Noticed Without Selling Out, with Laura Huang (episode 480) The Way to Make Sense to Others, with Tom Henschel (episode 518) Jumping In (Dave's Journal) Discover More Activate your free membership for full access to the entire library of interviews since 2011, searchable by topic.
Episode 051: Designing a Culture of MentorshipHow can architects rethink studio culture through conversations on mentorship? In this week's episode Evelyn Lee interviews Practice Disrupted co-host Je'Nen Chastain to learn more about her work on mentorship and leadership development at https://apostrophe.consulting/ (Apostrophe Consulting). Je'Nen shares her vision for helping her clients assess and redesign their talent development strategies. She explains why this is critical at the individual level to support better project work. As architect leaders continue to seek out ways to improve their firm operations, Je'Nen believes mentorship is an underutilized pathway towards strengthening creative teams from the inside out. Over the past decade she has studied leaders and leadership in architecture, yielding the creation of training programs and resources in support of architects and emerging professionals. Her work has become increasingly focused on organizational behavior, specifically in support of helping emerging architect leaders grow and reimagine their studio environments. Tune in to learn more about her work, her observations, and key skills leaders can work on today to enhance mentorship conversations in practice. Interested in working with Je'Nen? Check out https://apostrophe.consulting/ (Apostrophe Consulting) Guest: Je'Nen Chastain is a consultant trained in architecture and business management with a decade of experience working with award-winning architects. She foundedhttps://apostrophe.consulting/ ( Apostrophe Consulting) to help architecture firms win more work, build a culture of leadership and trust within the studio, and create a pipeline for emerging leaders to grow. She is the co-host ofhttps://practiceofarchitecture.com/podcast/ ( Practice Disrupted), a podcast that addresses how technology, cultural shifts, and emerging best practices in business are prompting industry disruption and transformation. A recipient of the 2017 AIA Associates Award, Je'Nen holds both a B.Arch and an MBA. She specializes in facilitating conversations that engage multi-generational teams and has designed, developed, and presented dozens of professional development training programs that inspire next-gen leaders. Show Links:
SARAH KLEIN'S STORY IS DIFFICULT AND UNSETTLING to listen to, but if ever there was an episode of my podcast you need to hear, it's this one. You may not know who Sarah is yet, but there's a good chance YOU KNOW HER STORY. Sarah was a competitive gymnast who became the first known survivor of sexual abuse by former Michigan State University and USA Gymnastics team doctor Larry Nassar. SHE WAS 8 WHEN NASSAR BEGAN MOLESTING HER IN 1988. Eventually, Sarah was among more than 150 women who confronted Nassar at his trial. With the help of her testimony and many others, Nassar was sentenced to 40 to 175 years in prison in January 2018. Sarah was also sexually abused by John Geddert, best known at one time as the head coach for the 2012 U.S. Women's Olympic gymnastics team, which featured the Fierce Five, who took home the gold medal in London that year. Geddert worked closely with Nassar, but unlike Nassar, he escaped justice by committing suicide after being charged with two dozen crimes, including human trafficking, forced labor, and sexually assaulting a teenage girl. Sarah, now 40, is an attorney who has helped hundreds of other survivors of Nassar's abuse and has become a STAUNCH ADVOCATE for abuse survivors everywhere. Sarah's horrific experiences are painful, but they are not without PURPOSE. As a survivor, Sarah has FIRST-HAND KNOWLEDGE and INSIGHTS about protecting your children from becoming victims. She shares how your children can SPOT AN ABUSER'S RED FLAGS and what PARENTS AND CONCERNED ADULTS can do to help FIGHT against abuse. We also talk about the long-term effects of abuse on women's lives and how to help someone heal after they've gone through this kind of ordeal. Sexual abuse against girls, and boys for that matter, are hideous crimes. It's difficult to talk about, which means too often it's easy to pass it along as not your problem or my problem. BUT JUST THE OPPOSITE IS TRUE! If you suspect somebody is being abused, you have a DUTY to SPEAK UP and TAKE ACTION to protect those who can't defend themselves.
Within 24 hours of her first #Covid19 vaccine, Marty's healthy, 86-year-old mother was found dead. After pushback from doctors and the coroner, he paid for an independent autopsy and the results were eye opening.
THANK YOU FOR LISTENING! DETAILED SHOW NOTES FOR THIS EPISODE CAN BE FOUND ON CALLIEANDJEFF.COM - CLICK HERE - Our phone number is 800-434-5454 … call or text about anything you heard on the show or want to hear on the show! - Follow Callie and Jeff on IG: @CallieDauler and @JeffDauler. - UPSIDE listeners have an amazing community on Facebook. Join by clicking here. - Are we Facebook friends yet? Check out Callie and Jeff's page. - Our PICK ME UP email has good news, cool deals, delicious recipes, and more delivered to you every Tuesday. Subscribe for free! - Shop the Callie and Jeff store. - If you listen to THE UPSIDE every day, you should join The Advisory Horde! Click HERE. - Please tell the world about this show! The easiest way to do that - especially if someone doesn't know too much about podcasts - is by sending them to listentocallieandjeff.com. Internet magic will take them directly to the best available player for whatever device they are using. - Today's show is presented by Dinner A'Fare. Save $25 off anything you order from dinnerafare.com with promo code UPSIDE25. - Three Random Things on today's episode is presented by Brown & Company Jewelers. - Our sponsors this week: Rothy's — use this link to step up your summer wardrobe with washable, sustainable, styles shoes and bags BetterHelp — use this link to get 10% off your first month JoyBird — use this link to get 30% off your purchase Indeed — use this link to get started now with a $75 credit to upgrade your post Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices