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Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 24 Eve of the New Order In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels.             Earned leadership is a blessing; assigned leadership is a burden   "Am I going to have to spank this little kitty to teach you a lesson?" Rio asked sweetly. Mercy vigorously shook her head in denial. "So you don't want me to do this?" Rio began energetically rubbing her fingers over the moist cunt. I was distracted from the rest of that exchange by Barbie Lynn's recovery. She climbed up my body, cheeks still full of my cum and staring at me with a mischievous hunger. At the moment I thought we were going to mimic the cum-swapping trick Ms. Lane and I had done, she went in another direction. Barbie Lynn leaned forward within inches of Vivian's face. Vivian reacted by pulling away, knocking the back of her skull against the headboard of the bed. "Barbie Lynn, I am not kissing you, and I am certainly not kissing you with Zane's, seed/semen in your mouth," Vivian insisted. Barbie Lynn mumbled something that sounded somewhat like 'but you'll like it' and did her best to look sexy, innocent, and inviting all at once. She would have had me convinced that brushing my teeth with uranium hexafluoride was the best thing for long term dental health too. Barbie Lynn pressed forward, Vivian held her back by putting a hand on each shoulder, and then Barbie Lynn transferred one of Vivian's hands so that it now supported one of Barbie Lynn's dangling tits. Realistically, Vivian was better at Karate than Barbie Lynn and could have blocked/resisted the blow, but Vivian had the ability to be remarkably compliant at the weirdest of times, like right now. Barbie Lynn was really close to doing as promised. "Please don't," Vivian asked softly. Barbie Lynn went one step further; she tapped her forehead to Vivian's forehead, smiled at her, and sat up, ready to swallow at last. "Wait, don't!" Rio cried out. She switched direction so that she was beside Barbie Lynn and they were the ones now actually kissing and letting my semen travel from tongue to tongue. When Rio got her share and then some, she spun rapidly back to Mercy and slapped that girl's thigh, motioning her up on her knees facing Rio. As Mercy reached the appointed position, Rio took her head in both hands and bore into a powerful oral exchange. One blowjob with three recipients, not my normal wake-up routine. That aforementioned bunch of guys is going to crucify me, upside down. Mercy went from slightly hesitant to rather animated in seconds, keeping tight to Rio as Rio tried to withdraw. Mercy's tongue lashed Rio's mouth a few more times before Rio pushed her back. "You like that, my Bang-bunny?" Rio taunted Mercy. "Do you like Zane's cream on your tongue and going down your throat?" "Yes," Mercy responded shyly, "yes, I like it very much." I waited for 'can I have another' and an inappropriate chorus from 'Oliver'. Rio didn't see things that way. She wrapped Mercy up by the waist and kissed her once more. "Okay, but since you are such a lousy cocksucker I am going to make you practice on Zane every night at eleven until you get it right, at least until the end of the semester," Rio scolded Mercy. "If that is what you want!" Mercy beamed. "Lord Jesus, save me," Vivian prayed for sanity to return to the room. "Oh, no, you are not," Barbie Lynn challenged Mercy and Rio's little scheme as she rushed to my rescue. "Not every night, anyway," she added. Maybe not rushing to my rescue after all. "The next lady to lay claim to my sexual favors, I'm going to make French kiss Ms. Marlowe during breakfast at the Dining Hall," I threatened. "Spread the word." "How is that going to work?" Rio snickered. "I don't know, but I've done every other inconceivable thing I've set out to do so why should this be any different?" I gave her a lopsided grin. "Yes, all of this is very nice," Vivian lectured, "but Zane only has seven minutes left to take a shower downstairs." We started to stampede for the exit. "Robes, towels," Vivian reminded us. She was rapidly learning many of the important skills one needs to become a mother to teenagers, a cat wrangler, or a prison guard. The Dawn of the New Order, like it or not.   It started at 6:45 as we began filing out of the dorm toward the dining hall and breakfast. We received texts, or our dorm mothers received them if we didn't have that function, assigning us a tribe we belonged to. What was a tribe? No one seemed to have a clue what this entailed for us.   "So," Iona was the first to ask me, "What tribe are you part of?"   "My tribe's called the Mediator tribe," I responded. "What lame-ass name does your tribe have?" Iona blinked at me, took my phone from my hands, and looked at it while we walked.   "Mercy and I are in 17," Rio sneered. "Why did your group merit a name and ours didn't?"   "Because Zane doesn't have a tribe," Iona figured. "He is not of the mediator tribe; he's a mediator. The real question is, how many mediators are there and what is their responsibility?"   "I'm in tribe three," Vivian volunteered. "I do have a notation but no indication who to see about it." The conversations around us were going in the same general direction, the girls trying to figure what sort of disruptions this would cause. The teachers put a kibosh on students walking around and finding out where their friends were placed so the text and phone messages being tossed around were obscene.   The surprise going to breakfast had saved virtually all of the freshmen from Handmaiden's Duty but they snapped us up heading for Assembly. I had Frederica Nicholas who decided to make a game of her giving me a word and me having to create a poetic verse. I rapidly learned the more risqu my verse, the more touchy-feely she became. (And she is a Rhaine supporter, huh?) I am a glutton for sexual foreplay no matter where it comes from.   Entry into the Assembly Hall brought its own special form of confusion. All the seats had numbers for the tribes that could sit there. I didn't find my group anywhere but I did catch the fact that Christina's group had been broken up. I stopped by Heaven to put a comforting hand on her shoulder because she looked terribly unsettled before I approached Ms. Goodswell on the stage.   My spiritual advisor stood up, walked to the edge of the stage, and knelt down so we could talk privately.   "Hi, Teach. I can't seem to find my groups/tribe's area," I said pleasantly. "Can you help me out? Hell, can you tell me what's going on?"   "Zane, your seat is right over there," she said, pointing to a chair on the front row, aisle seat. She smiled sadly. "All I can tell you about this program right now is that I trust you." Oh crap, that didn't sound good. Sitting on the front row, the region normally reserved for seniors, was just as disturbing. I sensed an epic boning in my future and I was sure I knew who the chick with the strap-on was.   Chancellor Bazz came to the podium and led us through the first ten minutes of the session. I could tell she was simmering with anger and resentment over whatever the upcoming fiasco was, and she showed it. She introduced Vice Chancellor Scarlett, then sat down abruptly. Her enthusiasm wasn't muted; it was buried in the core of the earth.   "Greetings, students of Freedom Fellowship University; I believe we stand at the first step to a great, glorious, and blessed experiment," Vice Chancellor Doctor Victoria Scarlett began. Her plan did sound grandiose, was certainly going to be famous (or infamous), and whichever supernatural powers put their mark on this train wreck, I was sure we'd discover the Arch-angel Morningstar also had his sulfuric fingerprints on it when the CSI's were finally brought in.   The basics of the scheme: There would be eighteen tribes of fifty or more members. Each tribe had all four grades in it but was focused on declared majors so that the girls could support one another. Each tribe would internally determine how they would regulate themselves as well. Externally, relations would be overseen by the Mediator, yes, that was in the singular, as in one: me.   At this point, I was wondering if jumping up, shooting Scarlett in the heart, and crying 'Sic semper tyrannis' was appropriate. I didn't have a gun and realistically, Victoria didn't deserve death for what she was putting all of us through. A few days in a pillory would suffice. No, she was making me be the 'Man' of our academic community, our judge and arbitrator.   As for my job qualifications, or lack thereof; I am considered morally loose, if not downright deviant. I'm an eighteen-year-old boy telling twenty-one-year-old women what to do, I have no legal experience, oh, yes, and half the campus hates my guts. I almost missed it when Doctor Scarlett added that Vivian would remain my guardian.   Maybe Vivian would throw herself in the path of a sharpened pencil, pen, or stylus aimed at my heart by any number of the young ladies that wanted me dead, just like a Secret Service Agent.   "You will be informed of the location of your first meetings. Each tribe will meet at eight o'clock tonight and tomorrow night to create the foundations of your group," Doctor Scarlett informed us.   "Tribes five and seventeen will be meeting in the Solarium of Alan Smithee dorm, if that is okay with Mr. Braxton." Victoria looked my way. I stood up in case anyone missed my discomfort for being called out and actually asked by a lead educator for anything resembling permission on this campus.   "Eight o'clock tonight?" I questioned. "I don't know if that works for me. I have a Brazilian body wax at eight and have scheduled my eyebrows to be plucked at 8:45, plus there is a new episode of NCIs: Los Angeles at nine."   "How about they promise to keep the noise level down?" Victoria volleyed right back at me without missing a beat.   "Very well, Doctor Scarlett, if you personally guarantee their behavior, I'm okay with them using my room," I allowed. I couldn't provoke Scarlett and I couldn't embarrass her, so I was back to facing her rear-bound artificial cock catching up with my behind. I sat back down. Victoria quickly exited center stage and a bitter Chancellor ushered us through the last of the service.   I waited outside the Assembly Hall for my friends and my Handmaiden for the moment, Theresa Yates. Christina and Chastity caught up with me first, both giving me a curious look.   "Bro," Rio sneered as she and Mercy joined us, "we need to discuss your future abuse of power, bribes and kick-backs you are going to get. Nice banter with ol' Scarlett too."   "Yes," Christina said sarcastically, "being flippant with the Vice Chancellor backfired so spectacularly the first time, it definitely needed repeating." Her criticism really sucked because I always secretly wanted her to think well of me.   "What's your plan?" Chastity prodded me. She was always helping me out when she got the chance. As she finished, Iona, Hope, Faith, and Heaven showed up.   "They split us up," growled Heaven. "Do something, Zane."   "He just found out about this," Iona responded before I could. "Give it time and combined, we will come up with a solution together." I sighed with some relief at her assistance and then I blinked. The powerful kiss I planted on Iona's lips caught everyone off-guard.   "Freaking brilliant!" I complimented her gaily, giddy with glee. I didn't have an actual plan yet but I had a direction to propel my thought toward. With my mind awhirl, I caught sight of Theresa moving past me on her way to class.   "Hey, Theresa," I called out. "What are you having me do today?" She looked a bit shocked.   "Zane, we are no longer allowed to call on you for Handmaiden's Duty," she informed me.   "Oh, He, ck no," I choked out. "Who says?"   "The Vice-Chancellor declared you to be outside the tradition," she stated sadly. I wasn't going to stand for this. Victoria was building a wedge between me and the rest of the student body.   "Iona, do that tech-thing that you do and inform the ladies that by the authority vested in me as mediator, I am reinstating myself as part of the Handmaiden's duty until, over half of the tribal leaders petition that I do otherwise," I announced.   "By tech-thing, do you mean send a text message with an accompanying e-mail to all the students on the school registry?" Iona regarded me quizzically.   "Zane," Chastity worried, "are you sure you have the authority?"   "Of course he has the authority," Rio declared. "He's the freaking mediator." Sometimes I would really like to get a word in before the conversation runs away from me.   I swatted Iona on the ass, she squawked.   "Chastity, this is clearly a game of chicken, so why not see how far Scarlett is willing to go," I replied. The look Christina gave me restored my faith in me; her eyes beamed at me, alight with an intellectual fire. I had one last thing to do while the chaos boiled one last time before the ebb: I hugged Rio.   "I want you to break into Gabrielle's place," I whispered in her ear, "wait for her to come get you, and tell her this: There is no Cordelia Dresden."   "Back off, Joker," Rio punched me. Rio trusted me not to put her in harm's way if I had another choice and Gabrielle knew that Rio would be the last person any sane individual would trust to do this.   She gave no hint of a reply to my request. The assumption was, if Cordelia didn't know what we were up to, she couldn't figure out a way to stop us, and right now I wanted a way for us out of her little game here at FFU. My current theory was that the girl I knew as Cordelia didn't exist before she came here, she was an invented personality, and I wanted to know who the inventor was.   Oh yeah, back to my actual life where my academic and social lives were in upheaval because my current nemesis (or one of them anyway) was a crusading idealist. I swear to God, if I survive this place, I will never forgive Aunt Jill for not sending me to the University of Hawaii, which was my first choice for college. All I had to worry about there was hurricanes, tsunamis, volcanoes, and the wrath of the island spirits for despoiling virgins, simple shit.   "Zane, you will discuss the merits and sins of the concubines of King Solomon with me," Theresa said, as she passed me her backpack to carry. Life rolled back to semi-normal and we separated to make our way to our first classes of the day. That illusion took another ill turn when I entered English class with Ms. Goodswell. She gestured for me to come to her desk before the lesson began.   "Zane," she informed me softly, "none of the female teachers or administrators at this school can give you orders, only suggestions. Only Doctor Jennings may truly compel you to do anything."   This bombshell was the reason she said she trusted me back in Assembly. The only one making me do the right thing was me. I had never considered me Mr. Responsibility before so I was in for a crash course in having authority over 900 students and 100 teachers. I told Virginia Goodswell about my decision concerning my Handmaiden's Duty to get her input, then compelled her to treat me as any other student, because apparently, I'm in charge of students now.   "There are old soldiers and there are bold soldiers, but there are very few old, bold soldiers," she reminded me. "Never forget, no matter how dark it may seem, Zane, you are never alone."   "I could always use a picture of you in a white, low-cut bikini to inspire me," I hinted.   "Mr. Braxton, by the authority vested in me by the mediator, I order you to take your seat so we can begin classes," she smirked. Oh, the irony: stymied by my own hubris.   Celia Wanamaker snapped me up coming out of English class. Vivian was waiting for me and Raven was in tow, right up until Paige snapped her up. Celia had me name a biblical character for each letter of the alphabet. Paige had Raven quote bible verses, backwards. As if there was any doubt my day could get worse, it did so immediately.   "Oh, the great Priest-King approaches!" screeched Rio on seeing me. "We all must genuflect, that's kneel down until your head touches the ground for you stupid bitches, until the Mediator passes." The horrible, horrible thing was that dozens of confused girls started doing just that.   "Hold on," I held up my hands for attention, "Hold on. Rio is mistaken. Genuflecting is only done during the Holy Days of Christmas, Good Friday, and Easter."   Okay, I made that up off the fly and I figured that I wouldn't be at school for Christmas, and Good Friday and Easter were next year and I'd worry about that then. For now:   "Emily, Rebecca, Henrietta, and Magdalena, please carry Rio to her next class, by the legs and arms," I instructed some of the closest students. "If a door or other object gets in the way, don't hesitate to use her head as a battering ram."   "Damn, Bro, that's harsh," Rio giggled from the floor. I knelt beside her.   "Yeah," I whispered, "like being man-handled by four girls isn't going to turn you on."   "Don't tell them that," she whispered back. I rose and continued on to class. A wiggling, squirming, cursing, and fighting Rio followed us.   I went through the same rigmarole in Biblical Archeology. I told the teacher that using my authority over students, I was instructing her to instruct me as if I was any other student, because I was a student and this was the area of my authority; right? She bought into my reasoning with some relief.   "How was it?" I mouthed to Rio once class was well on the way.   "Two hands all the way up the thigh, one knows I forgot my undies and was thoroughly soaked, two titties grabbed," Rio described what she'd been subjected to, "and I got to bite Magdalena's ass. I love those soccer player asses. You are most likely the best friend I will ever know; thank you."   "Always willing to help a fellow pervert out," I grinned back. Rio winked, then returned to work. I needed all the humor I could get because it was going to be a long damn day. By the time I made Marksmanship at three o'clock, I was damn happy to shoot something. I got some relief by having my best day ever, scoring a 53 (out of a possible 100) at the range. When I finished, I noticed a large number of my club mates standing close by.   WOMEN and the WORLD at LARGE   "Yes?" I questioned the ladies clustered behind me at the firing line.   "Oh, we are huddling behind your manliness," Daphne, one of the better shooters, joked.   "Manliness? Daphne, you just shot an 87. Hell, if you ladies want to be safe, stand in front of me, because apparently that's the one place my bullets don't go," I chided her.   That was a slight exaggeration. I was a pretty good shot out to 50 meters, but when I have to use binoculars to even see the target some of these girls are nailing, I know I have a long way to go.   "Zane, police your station," Hope instructed me. "Everyone, it is time for field training." This was the other part of marksmanship, sneaking around and spotting targets in the woods. We didn't use live rounds but it was still fun stuff.   "Gung-ho!" I responded to Hope. I'd heard that this was the battle cry of an Asian-American unit in World War II; Japanese I think.   "I'm Korean, Zane," Hope tried not to chuckle. "We are not exactly friends with the Japanese."   "If I stop saying it will you ask your Daddy not to come?" I inquired hopefully.   "If you keep saying it, I'll stop telling my Father I can't live without you," she countered.   "You can't live without me?" I questioned.   "Of course I can live without you, but I had to think of something to stop him from parachuting here in the dead of night and slitting your throat," she confided.   "You are joking; right?" I worried. Hope was nonresponsive as we got our gear together for the hike. "Hope, tell me that was a joke." Once we passed into the forest, Hope was quiet, business-like and nothing but. We were a mile into our trek when Hope settled down to study the environs. Per procedure, Hope watched to her front and left; I crouched at her back, facing away, and watched to our rear and Hope's right.   We would stay this way until Hope set up on the target, which was when I became her spotter. Since we weren't there yet, I scanned my area one more time, then cupped my right hand and reached behind me until I touched Hope's ass. I waited for a reaction of any kind but none came. Three seconds later I began to gently coast along her posterior, lightly squeezing her buttocks and rubbing along her cleft.   With a careful ear, I caught Hope's breath gaining in intensity. A few seconds later, she reached back and tapped my arm lightly so I stopped. Hope then rose carefully and we continued on our way. During the entire encounter, neither one of us had deviated from our watchfulness, which gave the whole situation a greater erotic appeal for me.   "Zane," Hope caught my attention as the last rifle and bullet was secured away, "I really wasn't sure how you would deal with me, being better than you. How do you do it?"   "All the training and skill in the world isn't worth a damn if you won't fight," I tried to explain. "A willingness to fight without talent is a waste. Hope, you didn't defeat me; you beat me."   She seemed to be searching for my definition of those two terms.   "Let's walk over to Orienteering before Heaven pops," I suggested. "We can both pin Heaven down but short of killing her, I'm not sure how to stop her." Hope chuckled at that assessment and nodded. "Hope, you put me on the mat and made me tap out, you beat me. You haven't discouraged me from coming at you when I feel I'm more capable, you haven't defeated me."   "Beating implies physical dominance but defeat is a state of mind," Hope replied as she stripped my definitions bare. I swung back my hand to spank her ass. Hope flinched slightly as instinct recognized the incoming blow and dictated a menu of responses, most of which involved causing me pain. I spanked her left ass cheek; Hope yelped and glared over her shoulder at me in feigned annoyance.   "You are a very verbose wench," I shook my finger at her.   "Do you want them to perform an extensive autopsy to figure out where I stuck that finger or are you going to remove it from my face right now?" she challenged me mirthfully. I stepped to her side, draped an arm around her waist; a second later she hesitantly echoed the gesture.   When we got to Orienteering, Hope and I parted company and I joined my fellow students as Heaven stood before us. The silence dragged on, and on until I finally felt compelled to raise my hand.   "Yes, Zane?" Heaven asked sweetly. You know; that 'sweetly' that says, I have an iron skillet to the head in my immediate future.   "Class? Are we going to have class today? Please?" I mumbled.   "I don't know, Zane," Heaven glared at me with a vicious smile stitched to her face. "Do we have your permission to have class today? Apparently we need to." Oh, fuck-buckets; Hope had probably had the same instructions and blown them off; Heaven was going a different way.   "I understand," I announced with dignity as I stood and walked up beside Heaven before facing the rest of the class. "As your appointed mediator, I think we should come forth and pray on the matter. All of you come to the front and kneel in a semi-circle; you too Heaven." I put a hand on her shoulder and put pressure on her to kneel beside me, right beside me.   The girls gathered around, Heaven was on her knees only inches from my crotch with her eyes flickering from my hard cock (I'm giving strong consideration to slamming that bastard in the middle of the US Tax Code to make it calm down) to my eyes. Soon I was in the center of a waist-level sea of slightly swaying female heads.   "Let us pray," I intoned. "Lord, guide us and give us strength to be true to ourselves, have faith in the gifts of insight, determination, and self-worth you have given us. Also, give us the vision to see what is wrong, the knowledge to understand when we hear things that are nonsense, and the will to forge past those words so that we find our own voice. In Jesus Christ's name we pray; Amen." "Amen," the girls said, at varying volumes and with varying conviction. They were all there, on their knees, staring at me. I swear to God, if one of them had 'Bahhed, I'd have died on the spot. "Okay, who believes I'm more qualified to teach this class than Heaven?" I began. Two girls started to raise their hands then self-consciously reversed direction. "You are all correct; I am totally unqualified to teach this class. I am totally unqualified to tell any of you to do virtually anything. I don't know more about life than any of the rest of you do. At eighteen, I'm younger than most of you. I'm a guy, nothing more. You ladies don't need me. Really, do any of you have any need of me whatsoever?" "Sex," blurted out of the mouth of Ruth, one of the senior club members. No one said anything for a few seconds. Okay, I could deal with this. "Fine, sex. With the Purity Pledge here, do any of you think you would need me for sex?" Twelve of the fourteen girls raised their hands; counting Heaven made it thirteen. I wanted to be anywhere else but in the deathtrap of my own creation. Screw that; I wanted to crawl into a deep, dark hole and pull the dirt in behind me. "We hear you are really good at it," Benios tried to explain things to me. "Brandi told us all about blowjobs. Those seem safe enough with the Pledge," Michelle added. Heaven started snickering at my expense. "All right, everyone," Heaven raised her voice as she stood up, accidentally squeezing my cock through my pants as she did so, "let's get started, and if no one screws up today, we can have Thursday's class in Zane's bedroom." We finished the last class for the day and started leaving our outdoor classroom when Ruth put her hand on my lower arm. "Zane, does a blowjob violate the Purity Pledge?" she asked. That wasn't really what she was asking. Why would I know the specifics of a pledge that everyone knew I hadn't taken? No, what she was asking was if she could experiment with oral sex with me. The other girls were not so surreptitiously hanging around for the answer. "Honestly, I don't believe that fellatio is an acceptable alternative to vaginal sex unless it includes cunnilingus," I bullshitted. I believed that, but I was hoping the lingo would buy me an exit. "What?" Ruth stammered. "Oh, I know that," Michelle giggled. "Fellatio is when you take a man's phallus and put it in your mouth, and cunnilingus is when a man puts his mouth, down there," she pointed at her crotch. "Zane, do you do that too? Put your mouth, Ruth hounded me. "Sure," I confessed. "Every man should, but in reality, it is more than tongue work", I wiggled my tongue, "but finger work too. All you have to do is think how your fingers feel down there, except this time they are under someone else's control and you have a strong, flexible muscle added to the mix." I instantly knew I was missing something with this audience. "You touch yourself; right?" I questioned. By many of the guilty looks, I could tell that most of the class had, but a surprising number hadn't, Ruth included. "I never have," Ruth replied. "I was afraid I'd stop being a virgin." I nodded, walked over to the closest tree, and banged my head against it. "That's enough for today," Heaven intervened. "We can pick up this wonderful, non-orienteering discussion next time." She ushered me away. I was rather thankful to get away and into the company of someone I trusted. "Are you ready for tonight?" "You mean am I waiting to pack your tight ass and drag my fingernails over your back until I draw blood? Yes," I grinned down at her. "Evil!" she giggled. "You are sinister, vile, and an aberration to all that is pure in the world." "Well, you are purely wonderful," I countered. "So is this a case of opposites attract?" "Do you like to see me that way?" my transvestite lover teased. "Your legs on my shoulders as I drive into you; on your hands and knees; you looking down at me as you slide down that first time, your ass cheeks bouncing, with my hands kneading them as you face away, but most of all, with your head on my chest, asleep, your hair spilling over your eyes as you lay there, that's the best," I related. "How can you be lusty and sweet at the same time?" she murmured. "It's how you make me feel, Heaven," I explained. "It is no mystery, you are that good to me." "Best boyfriend ever," she whispered, as she hugged my arm tight. On the final approach to Heaven's dorm, she gave me a nudge. "So, how did you beat the ten-second rule?" Heaven prodded me. "We have a ten-second rule?" I questioned. "We don't, silly; it's Hope's rule," Heaven grinned. "No one holds her for more than ten seconds. She has, had proximity issues." "We were intimate," I pointed out. "That probably helps." "I hope so," Heaven laughed. "The first time Christina and I barged into her room, we found ourselves staring down the barrel of a gun. Chastity was her roommate and she nearly freaked because she didn't know Hope had an automatic, much less slept with one under her pillow." "Note to self: never climb in Hope's window looking for a midnight hook-up," I sighed. "Hey," Heaven playfully grumbled, "if you are crawling in anyone's window for some late-night booty, it had better be my window and my booty you are after, Mister." "Or what?" I teased. "Are we back to me being in a deep, dark hole, you with the only key, dressed up for me in black strips of leather?" That description dated back to our first day on campus together when she hated my very existence. "Bitch," Heaven growled with frustrated desire. "I'll see you at the car in ten minutes, then." I gave a double pump of the eyebrows and left. We had been invited by Officer Danica Campbell of the Lancaster PD for a barbeque so we could get reacquainted. It was something Heaven was really looking forward to (not that I minded). Danica's house needed a little yard work but was otherwise an unremarkable ranch style house with an attached carport. Heaven's hands kept fluttering at her sides and straightening out her skirt. Me; I was in a long-sleeved pull-over and jeans and was having a much easier time of it emotionally. My only problem was our timetable; I had to be back before nine. We could smell the burning charcoal from the front yard but I indicated to Heaven that we weren't friends enough to simply walk around back unannounced. We rang the doorbell, then rang it again. Heaven was going for a third, nervous try when Danica opened the door. "Hey, you two, come on in," she greeted us, and stepped aside so we could enter. The first aura I detected in Danica's home was of benign neglect; the house was inhabited but no one actually lived here. Everything looked old but not worn, except for one chair and the cabinet around the TV which had VHS tapes (?) and scores of DVDs from the past ten years. Danica was in a lumberjack shirt, jeans, and deck shoes with a noticeable lack of bra, panties, and socks. "I'm glad you two showed up," Danica said, talking to us as we followed her through the living room to the kitchen. We could see the grill cooking away on a concrete patio through a sliding glass door. "I almost showed up last night," Heaven blurted out, then looked mortified. "You would have had to wait a while," Danica joked. "I worked last night." "I would have put her to sleep on the doorstep, covered her in a blanket, and given her a garden gnome to use as a pillow," I joked. Heaven blushed furiously and punched me in the arm. "Be careful, Mister Braxton," Danica threatened me with a wink, "I have handcuffs, pepper spray, and a taser, behave." I was hoping that comical exchange would have reduced the tension. It almost worked. As Danica opened the sliding glass door, she turned to say something. I have no idea what it was that got into her but at that point, Heaven threw herself at our hostess, wrapped her arms around Danica's neck, and kissed the lady cop. Danica staggered out the door onto the patio, grabbed the doorsill before they toppled over, and after her obvious moment of panic, put her other arm around Heaven's waist. Third Wheel Syndrome was kicking in for a while as the two kept tickling each other's tonsils and rubbing their bodies together. "I, ah, wanted to kiss you since I talked to you on the phone," Heaven finally said. Danica stroked a finger along Heaven's left earlobe, wiggling it back and forth. "Mission accomplished," Danica smiled. "You don't date much, do you? That's not a condemnation; it's just, you have a raw intensity I haven't seen in a while. I like it." Heaven looked ready to dive into another lip frenzy when our hostess held her up. "Let's check on the grill, unless you like your pork chops and chicken burnt as hard as the coals that made 'em." Heaven gave Danica enough lead to make it to the grill and open it up. My friend coughed and choked as the smoke billowed out; it was Heaven's first outdoor barbeque, or at least the first that didn't involve a professional pit master and a whole steer. "Give her some room," I cautioned Heaven. "I hear those things are hot." It was my first time too, but they had similar things in Thailand so I wasn't totally lost. Eventually, I was forced to wrap my arms around Heaven from behind to keep her from bouncing all over the place. Her enthusiasm didn't bother me; she was fun and felt she had a lot of catching up to do. We chatted about her work and our school machinations. Danica made a crack about me and women putting me on my back, funny like a crutch. We gathered in her living room; it was the only room that had the seats to meet our needs with the meat, coleslaw, hush puppies, and lima beans to eat. There was the promise of sherbet if dinner didn't fill us up. Things were going so smoothly that I almost missed Danica's little ploy. "Heaven, since you are getting a beer, would you get me one too," Danica off-handedly mentioned. We were finishing up the meal and washing it down with the appropriate beverage, lemonade in my case and beer in theirs. "Sure," Heaven smiled warmly, and off she went. She didn't hear Danica get up and follow her into the kitchen, though Danica did give me a wink. The moment Heaven pulled the two lagers out of the refrigerator, Danica slipped up behind her and pressed her body into Heaven's. For a second, Heaven thought it was me and was looking over her shoulder to chastise me. I was following but was hanging back. "Zane, then she noticed it was Danica, "Huh?" "Hey, Precious," Danica purred to her, "it seems your hands are occupied;" gesturing to the beer in each. Danica stretched her arms around and cupped Heaven's breasts and began massaging them. Heaven tried to twist around but Danica didn't let her. She bit into Heaven's neck instead, sucking up and down from ear to shoulder. "The last time you snuck up on me; now it is my turn. How does it feel?" Danica continued. She pressed Heaven up against the refrigerator door, grinding her there for a while before letting Heaven turn and faced her. "It feels good," Heaven gulped, "but I know some other things I want to do to you that are better." Danica answered that by sensually sliding down Heaven's body until she was kneeling. From there she lifted Heaven's skirt, pulled down her double panties and started making kissing/slurping noises that made Heaven shudder in anticipation. Danica was bobbing in a slow, languid style that was pushing the tranny toward her own internal blaze. I saw the opportunity to come up and relieve Heaven of her beers before she dropped them. Heaven's hands dropped immediately to Danica's head and trembled with the desire to push Danica farther and farther down her cock. Danica held her off, having more blowjob experience than Heaven and I combined. I took the time offered to remove all our shirts and Heaven's bra before alternating kissing Danica's neck and back while playing with her tits, and going to Heaven and kissing her and teasing her nipples with my teeth. She was over-eager and was tapping Danica's crown inside a minute, indicating the shortness of her fuse. Heaven gave a muted squeak followed by, "Oh, God, that's so fucking good, take it, oh, God, take it!" Danica did a masterful job of soaking up everything Heaven had to give and draining her dry afterwards. Danica had to hold Heaven's hips to stop my lover from sliding to the ground on her ass. "I think we will all be passing on the sherbet," Danica grinned while licking her lips. Heaven nodded, first shakily but soon with much more assurance. I kicked off my shoes in my own endorsement of this plan and we were soon all migrating to Danica's bedroom. Heaven, new to the romantic aspects of sexuality, dove straight onto the bed and shimmied out of her skirt. Danica and I stopped at the foot of said bed and shed our pants (and underwear for me). As Heaven looked at us, I pulled Danica's hair aside and began kissing her from right beneath her ear down to the nape of her neck. Danica responded by pressing her backside into me and gyrating her ass on my crotch. Danica ran her left hand behind her back and began moving it sensually along my stomach to the base of my cock and up again. Her right hand stroked my thigh and hip on the other side. I countered by moving my left to her left breast, mauling it but leaving the nipple unmolested for now. My right hand went in a serpentine fashion to her crotch and hovered right above her clitoris. We played tag with our intimate parts long enough for Danica to start sweating and moaning against me. "Why aren't you married, again?" she snickered. "Oh, yeah, you being eighteen and all." "Are you too much woman for one man?" I countered. "Actually, I've been looking for someone special," she confessed, but she wasn't looking at me when she said it. That wasn't lost on Heaven either; her jaw dropped. "Don't freak," Danica reassured her. "I know we don't have much in common, I'm a townie and you're a rich girl from somewhere else, but we have until spring if you want to hang out." It took Heaven a few moments to digest that. "I'd like that, Danica; I'd like that a lot," she smiled. "Well, I'd like it if you came over here and kissed me before your boyfriend drives me totally nuts," Danica teased her. Heaven got on her knees and waddled to the end of the bed to join us. "Wait," Heaven said at the last second, eyes wide with surprise. "I have a boyfriend and a girlfriend, I rock!" and then she dove into Danica's lips. Danica was propelled into me by Heaven's passionate embrace. She reciprocated by moving her hand off my hip and onto Heaven's semi-rigid cock. Heaven's phallus hardened quickly enough and she upped the tempo by buoying up her breasts and initiating a nipple fight between her tits and Danica's, wow, a freaking advantage I hadn't thought of. "Let s, Danica gulped for air " get on, the bed. I want some, of this, in me," she pulled on Heaven's cock. Oh, yeah, this was the Heaven-Danica show and I was second fiddle, and I felt it was glorious. 'You are known not by what you do but by what you leave behind,' or so yet another saying goes. Danica and Heaven were happy with one another, even if only for a little while. That 'while' included Heaven retreating up the bed as Danica followed and I pursued her. "Have you been a good girl?" Danica quizzed Heaven. "Do we need a condom?" clarified the issue. "No, no, I've only been with Zane," Heaven answered. "That's hardly a ringing endorsement for safe sex," Danica chuckled. "Damn, that's just cold," I groaned. "For your information, if my partner wasn't a virgin, she was someone I know intimately." "So you are not doing it with that Warlord chick living in your house now?" Danica persisted. "How do you even know about that? It happened Sunday," I wondered. "Zane," Danica sighed patiently, "I'm a cop and your house is like two miles away." "Can we get back to concentrating on the sex?" Heaven grumbled. "I'll wear a condom if you want. I'll wear a harem girl outfit if you want, as long as it leads to sex with you." "That won't be, necessary," Danica murmured as she positioned Heaven's cock between her labia then began to push down. I was working out what my place in this could be when I spotted the bottle of lubricant (generic) boldly sitting on Danica's nightstand, not very subtle at all. I shifted over, got the bottle, then got around behind them once more. "Can I join in?" I asked. "I trust you," Danica purred. Silly her; I'm behind her with a source of lube and a passion to use it. I poured some out on Danica's cleft and let it ooze down toward her cunt. I let it cascade over three fingers before sealing it up again. With my left hand, I began working a finger into Danica's anus, and with my right, I worked another into Heaven's. "Oh," Danica grunted, as I slipped past her sphincter. Heaven's response was to moan sensually. It took me a little while to not only work a finger in but a second one in as well; then the fun began. With Heaven, I began both pumping and making a series of circular motions; with Danica, though, I pressed down until I was counter-massaging Heaven's cock through the walls of her rectum and cunt. "Oh, my fucking God!" shouted Danica. "That feels great; she's really grinding against me." "Keep that up," gasped Heaven. "I, I can feel your fingers." Okay, I got this one right. I could also feel the sympathetic impulses growing between Danica's vaginal walls and Heaven's cock; they weren't going to last long. Drilling Heaven's butthole in rapid-fire fashion sent her crashing ahead of the wave. "Dan, Dan, Danica, Hell, yeah!" Heaven screamed as she slammed upward into the lady cop. Danica's back bowed and a low growling noise reverberated through her body. Both tried to use their anal muscles to grind my finger bones together; for the orgasms they were riding through, it was worth it. Danica shivered through one last orgasmic burst then settled gently down on Heaven. Heaven reached around with her arms and ran them up and down Danica's back. Our hostess pushed off her lover's body with her elbows on the mattress and kissed her nose. "That felt wonderful," she smiled down at Heaven. Heaven didn't immediately respond. "Is something wrong?" Danica worried. "I, um, it was really nice, Danica, but, Heaven worked through the words. "But?" Danica asked. "But I think I'm into guys," Heaven gave her worried confession. "I'm sorry; what we did felt good but what sent me over the top was, " "Oh," Danica seemed to deflate. "Hold on," I intervened, even as my fingers were still slowly working them both. "Heaven, you liked Danica's blowjob; right?" "Yes. It was wonderful," Heaven brightened up. "She's, you are, she looked into Danica's eyes " the best I've ever had." "Still, you like it up your ass, don't you?" I prodded. Heaven bit her lip and rolled her head to the side. Danica pushed herself onto all fours and sighed. "Well, damn," she sighed, "I was sort of hoping, " "Danica, would you consider screwing Heaven's ass? Giving it a chance?" I hazarded. "I'd give it a shot," Danica replied after a moment's hesitation. Being with a girl was new; being with a transgender was new; and now being the driving force in anal sex was going to be new too. "I'll get dressed and go out to the car," I winked. "Surprise, surprise; I worried something like this would happen so I brought a few things along." I was afraid that when I got back from the car with my backpack holding the strap-on, that a chill would have set in. I shouldn't have worried; Danica was surprisingly passionate and Heaven was sheer surprise itself. They were cuddled face to face exchanging small kisses and stroking each other's hair. "I just want you both to know," Danica held up a warding hand, "if that thing is longer than my arm, I'm calling this off." I presented the device for her approval and while it could be intimidating, it wasn't scarier than Heaven's normal equipment. "I'm glad that's going into you and not me," Danica ended up teasing Heaven. Not to be outdone, Heaven rolled onto her stomach and wiggled her upraised ass in the air. "Oh, she's begging for it," Danica laughed. "Yes, she does, and if you think that's sweet, imagine how nice it is to wake up with her ramming that pole in while riding you," I painted the picture. "Is there any position she doesn't like?" Danica inquired. "I'm right here, my ass up in the air. Please, somebody do something," Heaven whined. "Not that I know of," I ignored Heaven's plea. "You could try it in the shower, bent over the sofa, heels up in the La-Z-Boy, or hanging from the pull-up bar, she's quite strong." "Oh, hmm, thanks, Zane; I'll explore those opportunities," Danica grinned. "Hello, ass here, needs stuffing," Heaven became more insistent. "She's shameless," Danica teased happily. "Absolutely," I laughed, "but if one of us doesn't fulfill her needs real soon, violence will ensue." "Zane, you warm her up and I'll figure out how to put this thing on," Danica instructed me as she took hold of her sexual toy. "About damn time," Heaven panted as I worked my first finger in again. I'd oiled up several fingers before handing the lube to Danica to prepare her artificial cock with. Heaven's anus was already pliable from our activity so it took only two minutes to work the second and third finger in. By that time, both Danica and Heaven were ready. "This is weird," Danica mumbled, as she placed her phallic head against Heaven's sphincter. "Let me know if this, she got out before Heaven pushed back and gasped. "Doesn't that hurt?" "Makes me feel full," Heaven gasped. "Push." Danica did indeed push, and spanked Heaven for good measure. Now that I was freed up again, I elected to recline beside Heaven and watch her get fucked by Danica. Heaven and I made eye contact; that totally free, blissful look was exceptionally special for me. I'd seen Heaven afraid far too often. I'd seen her furious far too often as well. "Zane," Heaven perked up, "get over here. I want your cock. I want it coming and going." "Revenge," taunted Danica. Heaven and I had given Officer Campbell simultaneous oral and anal sex, and now Heaven was getting the same treatment. I sat my ass on the pillow in front of Heaven's face, legs spread wide. She grabbed my cock in both hands (my cock is so massive, its ability to block out the Sun often cows primitive tribes, or maybe Heaven has small hands) and yanked it forward somewhat painfully until she could lick the tip. "Come on, Zane," Danica egged me on, "take hold of her head and fuck her like a cheap slut." A shudder passed head to foot through Heaven's body and she gave out a small sob. "Heaven," I asked cautiously, "do you want to stop?" "I'm being fucked like a slut, Zane," she replied tearfully. "I'm being fucked like a slut." You never know with some people. Danica gave me a worried look so I gave her a quick smile and a nod. Heaven wanted to be a woman, but almost as important was that she wanted to be seen and treated like a woman. It may have played out in Heaven's imagination that she had gone to some seedy bar looking all hot and sexy, then a couple had picked her up so they could treat her like a bad little girl. I raised my hips, feeding more of my cock into Heaven's mouth. "Spank your bitch's ass," I teased Danica. She responded by alternating noisy but not very painful slaps to our tranny's buttocks. Heaven wanted the tease, not the real pain, and Danica was right there for her. Once we had a good rhythm going, I could feel Danica's cock slamming at its deepest impact, Heaven squirming and squealing with the pleasure and her tongue and throat swirling around my oral intrusion. She slurped and sucked desperately while a small amount of drool marked her cheek and jaw. Heaven began making whimpering noises along with the grunts when Danica drove in deeper. All the sizzling sex I'd been forced (yeah, right) to watch sent me over the edge first. "Heaven, babe, here it comes," I chanted several times before I finally did shoot gobs and gobs, so much it shot out her nose and mouth. Okay, not really that much, but I certainly felt some relief. &l

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You can listen wherever you get your podcasts, OR— BRAND NEW: we've included a fully edited transcript of our interview at the bottom of this post.In this episode of The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, I am giving you another sneak peek inside my Peaceful Parenting Membership! Listen in as I interview Tosha Schore as part of our membership's monthly theme of “Aggression”. We discuss why kids get aggressive, how to handle it no matter how many kids you have, and dealing with the aggressive behaviour from many angles.**If you'd like an ad-free version of the podcast, consider becoming a supporter on Substack! > > If you already ARE a supporter, the ad-free version is waiting for you in the Substack app or you can enter the private feed URL in the podcast player of your choice.Know someone who might appreciate this post? Share it with them!We talk about:* 6:35 Is a child's aggression OUR fault as the parent?* 13:00 Why are some kids aggressive?* 15:00 How do you handle aggression when you have multiple kids?* 22:00 A new sibling being born is often a trigger for aggression in the older child* 29:00 When you feel like you are “walking on eggshells” around your child* 35:00 How naming feelings can be a trigger for kids* 37:00 When aggression is name calling between siblings* 42:00 Friends- roughhousing play or aggression?* 49:00 Coming from aggression at all angles* 50:35 Using limits when there are safety issuesResources mentioned in this episode:* Yoto Player-Screen Free Audio Book Player* The Peaceful Parenting Membership* Tosha's Websitexx Sarah and CoreyYour peaceful parenting team- click here for a free short consult or a coaching sessionVisit our website for free resources, podcast, coaching, membership and more!>> Please support us!!! Please consider becoming a supporter to help support our free content, including The Peaceful Parenting Podcast, our free parenting support Facebook group, and our weekly parenting emails, “Weekend Reflections” and “Weekend Support” - plus our Flourish With Your Complex Child Summit (coming back in the spring for the 3rd year!) All of this free support for you takes a lot of time and energy from me and my team. If it has been helpful or meaningful for you, your support would help us to continue to provide support for free, for you and for others.In addition to knowing you are supporting our mission to support parents and children, you get the podcast ad free and access to a monthly ‘ask me anything' session.Our sponsors:YOTO is a screen free audio book player that lets your kids listen to audiobooks, music, podcasts and more without screens, and without being connected to the internet. No one listening or watching and they can't go where you don't want them to go and they aren't watching screens. BUT they are being entertained or kept company with audio that you can buy from YOTO or create yourself on one of their blank cards. Check them out HERETranscript: Sarah: Hey everyone. Welcome back to another episode of the Peaceful Parenting Podcast. Today's guest is Tosha Shore, a peaceful parenting expert on aggression. I invited her into the Peaceful Parenting Membership a few months ago to talk to us about aggression and to answer our members' aggression-specific questions.So many fantastic questions were asked. I know they'll help you if you're at all having any issues with aggression. And remember, aggression isn't just hitting. It's any expression of the fight, flight, or freeze response—including yelling, spitting, throwing things, and swearing.Tosha is such a valuable resource on this issue. I really, really admire how she speaks about aggression and the compassion that she brings to both kids and parents who are experiencing aggression.One note: one of the members was okay with her question being used in the podcast, but she didn't want her voice used. So in the podcast today, I paraphrased her question and follow-up comments to preserve the flow of the conversation.As I mentioned, this is a sneak peek inside the Peaceful Parenting Membership. If you would like to join us, we would love to have you. It is such a wonderful space filled with human touch and support. There are so many benefits, and it's my favorite part of my work as a parenting coach.We'll put the link to join us in the show notes, or you can visit reimaginepeacefulparenting.com/membership. If you know anyone who could use this podcast, please share it with them. And as always, we would appreciate your five-star ratings and reviews on your favorite podcast app.Let's meet Tosha.Hello, Tosha, welcome to the membership. I'm so excited that you're going to be here talking to us about aggression today. So maybe you could start out by just giving a brief introduction of who you are and what you do.Tosha: Absolutely. So my name is Tosha Shore and I am the founder of Parenting Boys Peacefully, where we are on a mission to create a more peaceful world, one sweet boy at a time.I'm also the co-author of Listen: Five Simple Tools to Meet Your Everyday Parenting Challenges. And I work with a lot of families with young kids who are struggling with hard behaviors like aggression, and my goal is to give you all hope and inspiration—to keep on keeping on with peaceful parenting practices because they do absolutely work. Even, or maybe even especially, for really hard behaviors.Sarah: I love that you added that—especially for hard behaviors—because I think there's this fallacy out there that, yeah, peaceful parenting's nice if you have easy kids, but, you know, my kid needs more “discipline” or whatever. So I love that you called that out, 'cause I think it's absolutely true also.So maybe—just—we have some questions from our members that people sent in, and I'm not sure, some people on the call might have questions as well. But maybe we could just get started by you sort of centering us in what causes aggression.I was just on a call with some clients whose child was having some issues at school, which, if we have time, I might ask you about. The mom was saying, “Oh, you know, he's being aggressive at school because I sometimes shout or lose my temper.” And I said to her, you know, of course that plays a part in it, but there are lots of kids whose parents never shout or lose their temper who still are aggressive.So why is that? What causes aggression?Tosha: I mean, I think there are a few things that can cause aggression. I often will say that aggression is fear in disguise, because I've found that a lot of kids who are getting in trouble at school—they're yelling, they may be hurting siblings or hurting their parents—they are scared inside.Sometimes it's an obvious fear to us. Like maybe they're playing with a peer and the peer does something that feels threatening—goes like that in their face or something—and instead of just, you know, play-fighting back, they clock the kid or whatever.And sometimes the fears are a little bit more hidden and maybe could fall even into the category of lagging skills. I don't even like to say “lagging skills,” but, like, skills that maybe they haven't developed yet. School's a perfect example. I think a lot of kids often will be acting out in school—even aggressively—because they're being asked to do something that they don't yet have the skills to do.And that's pretty frustrating, right? It's frustrating to be asked, and then demanded, to perform in a certain way or accomplish something specific when you don't either feel the confidence to do it, or you don't yet have the skills. Which sort of spills into another reason that kids can get aggressive, and that's shame.We can feel really ashamed if everybody else in the class, for example, or a lot of kids, are able to just answer the questions straight out when the teacher asks—and maybe we get stage fright, or maybe we didn't quite understand the example, or whatever it is.So I definitely want to pull that parent away from blaming themselves. I think we always tend—we have a negative bias, right? Our brain has a negative bias. All of us. And I think we tend to go towards taking it on ourselves: It's our fault. If we had just done X, Y, or Z, or if we hadn't done X, Y, or Z, my child wouldn't be acting out this way.But I always say to parents, well, that's a choice. There's like a 50/50, right? We could choose to say, you know what, it could be that I did something, but I don't think so. That's the other 50%. But we always go with the “it's my fault” 50.So part of my job, I think, is to encourage parents to lean into the “It's not my fault.” Not in the sense of nothing I do has an impression on my child, but in the sense of: it's important that we as parents all acknowledge—and I truly believe this—that we are doing our best all the time.There is no parent I've ever met who purposefully doesn't behave in a way they feel good about, or purposefully holds back their love, or purposefully yells, or anything like that. If we could do differently, we absolutely would as parents.Sarah: Mm-hmm. So more like, “I didn't cause this. There's maybe something I could do, but I didn't cause this.” Right.Tosha: I mean, like, look, let's just be honest. Maybe she did cause it, okay? I mean, I've done things—maybe I've caused things—but so what, right? There's nothing I can do at this point.I can either sort of wallow in, “Oh gosh, did I cause this?” Or I could say, probably I didn't, because there are so many other factors. Or I could say, you know, maybe I did, but one, I'm confident that I did the best that I could in that moment.And two—and this is an important part—is that I am doing whatever work I need. I'm getting the support I need, right? I'm showing up to Sarah's membership or this call or whatever, to take steps to do better in the future.So if we're just making a mistake and not doing anything to try to behave better next time, that's not worth much either. Like, I remember once when my kids were little—I don't even remember what I was doing, I don't remember what the situation was—but I do remember very clearly that I apologized. I said, “I'm sorry, I won't do that again.”And my kid goes, “You always say that and then you do it again.”And that was true. But if that were true because I was just saying “I'm sorry” and going about my next thing and not paying attention to the why or getting to the crux of what was causing me to behave that way, then that would be disingenuous.But in fact, I was doing my own emotional work to be able to show up more often in ways that I felt good about. So I could genuinely feel good about that apology, and I could not take it personally. I could say, “You know what, you're absolutely right. I do keep making this mistake. And I want you to know that I am working hard to try to change that behavior.” And that was true.Sarah: Yeah. Makes sense. So you mentioned before that you want parents to see aggression as fear in disguise. And you mentioned that the fear can be something obvious, like someone's gotten in your face and you're scared. Or it can be fear of not being able to meet the expectations of your teacher or your parent. Or shame that can come from maybe even having made a mistake.You didn't say this, but I'm thinking of something common that often happens—like a kid makes a mistake or does something they didn't mean to do, and then they lash out. Right?So how do we get from those feelings of fear and shame to aggression? Because that doesn't happen for every kid, right? Some kids will just cry or say something, but then some kids really lash out and hit, throw things, shout, scream. So how does that happen? How do we get from A to B?Tosha: Well, I think all kids are different, just like all adults are different. And when we encounter fear—any of us—we go into fight, flight, or freeze. And kids who are aggressive go into fight.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: So some kids do and some kids don't. And you know, I don't have any scientific research to back this up, but I would say part of this is DNA, part of this is the nature of the kid.Sarah: Right.Tosha: And I think that's also going back to the self-blame. I've got three kids, they're all very different, right? Same house, same parents, same everything. They're different. They came into this world different, and they're still different.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: And I can help guide them, but I can't change the core of who they are. So I think that aggression is those kids who go from “I'm scared, I'm having to protect myself” to that attack mode.Sarah: Right. Makes sense. And just—I mean, I know this—but is it in the child's control?Tosha: No, it's not in the child's control. It is absolutely a reaction. And I think that's why I feel like having that concept of aggression being fear in disguise can be so helpful from a mindset perspective for parents. Because it's so much easier to have empathy for a child who we see as being scared, right? Than one who we see as being a jerk, picking on his brother, or disrespectful, rude—all of those terms we use when we're struggling.Sarah: Right. Well, there may be a few other points that I want you to make, but they might come out in the context of some questions from our members.So I know at least two people on the call right now had sent me a question in case they couldn't make it. But I'm going to ask Sonya—are you willing, Sonya, to unmute yourself and ask your question?Sarah: Hi.Sonia: Sure. Hi.Sarah: Hi, Sonya.(Sarah narrating): Sonia wonders how to handle aggression when you have multiple kids. She has three kids—a 7-year-old, a 4-year-old, and a baby—and it's often her 7-year-old who reacts in fight mode. She's trying to figure out how to keep her cool and also how to handle it and take care of the other kids and manage him.Tosha: Yeah. So one thing that I noticed is how Sonia kind of glossed over the keeping her own cool. And I want to bring that to everybody's attention, because we all do that. But actually, when we're dealing with aggression, we have to come at it from a lot of different angles.There's no one magic pill I can give her, but it has to actually start—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: So it doesn't mean we have to reach Nirvana or become the Buddha or never yell before we can make any progress. But we can't put that aside and just go, “Okay, what do I do to get my kid to stop doing this?”Because our energy has a huge effect on our kids' aggression. And usually—well, let me just say—it makes sense to ask yourself questions like: how am I feeling about this? Because most people are feeling scared—either scared of their child (“they're going to hurt me” or “they're going to hurt a sibling, hurt the baby”), or scared for their child (“he's going to end up in juvenile hall, he's going to end up the next school shooter”).We project forward. So if we're having fear for our child or fear of our child, that child is soaking up that feeling. And I don't know about you, but I've never met anybody who could actually change their behaviors—who was inspired, motivated, or able to change their behaviors—when everyone around them was scared of them or scared for them.Maybe occasionally there's somebody who's like, “I'm going to prove the point because the world is against me,” right? And this is like a Hollywood film. But most of us don't work that way.So I want to come at it from all the angles. There's the “take care of yourself” piece. But at the same time, we have to keep our kids safe.One thing that I think really helps is to pay attention to the pattern of when the aggression is happening, so she's not surprised. Because if we're surprised, then we act in surprising ways to ourselves. We don't show up as our best.So pay attention. Does this happen at a certain time of day? When there's a certain constellation of kids playing together? When one particular child is present? When you're doing something specific? If there's another parent—when they're present or absent? Pay attention to these things so that you can show up ready.Because if you can change your story in your head from, “I have no idea when this happens, it happens all the time, it happens out of the blue”—which is really disempowering—to “I've noticed that every afternoon when I pick my 7-year-old up from school and bring him home, then I go in the kitchen to make a snack… and then he lays on top of the baby,” or whatever—then it is much more manageable.Then you can say, “Okay, well, I remember this call that I was on and they talked about maybe there being some fear in there. Well, I don't know what the fear is, I don't know what's going on, but I'm going to be ready. I'm not going to let it happen.”So rather than make that snack, I'm going to make it before he comes home, or I'm going to just pull out some frozen pizza. But I'm going to stay present with that child during that time and expect that the upset will happen.Because then, when that child goes to lay on the baby—or whatever the aggression is—you can actually physically get in the way. You can prevent it from happening. And then what happens is, because that child—the 7-year-old—has something to push against, something preventing them from acting on their fear response, from fighting—what happens then is like a magic reaction.He's able to erupt like a volcano and release the tension, those fears, the upsets. Maybe it's 12 things that happened to him at school today. Maybe there was shame around not knowing the answer when he was called on. Whatever it was.But there's suddenly space with an attentive adult who remembers that the child is scared. So they have empathy. They're not worried, they're not caught by surprise. So we're not going to jump at them. And that child has the opportunity then to heal.That release of the feeling is what heals the child. It's like pulling up weeds in your garden by the roots, as opposed to just pulling and having them break off, and then the next day you've got the whole thing back again.So this tool—which in our book we talk about as Stay Listening, where we're staying and allowing space for the child to feel—is what, over time, will change that fight response. That's actually the gold nugget that, over time, will both change the intensity of the outbursts and also change the frequency.Is any of that landing for you?Sarah (narrating): Sonia responded that it was very helpful. She's told me before that her baby's almost one, and this started happening a lot right after she had the baby. She also says that she's done my Transform Your Family Life course, and she's still working on it. She's done more of the welcoming feelings, and she has put together that it's usually in the afternoons—so Tosha is right about that—and it's happening after school.She's also connected that there are things happening at school that aren't in line with how she and her husband want their child treated, and she thinks that's related.Tosha: Yeah. So in light of this new information, I would also say—and I'm sure Sarah's talked to you about this as well—but pouring in as much connection to that child as possible.And it can feel, especially when you have multiple kids, that it's unfair, right? One kid is getting more… Are you familiar with the concept of special times, Sarah? Is that something that you teach?Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Okay. You know, if you're doing special time—oftentimes we talk about, or I talk about at least—I'm not a “fair” kind of a person. I'm a “life's not fair” kind of a person. My kids will tell you that.But when it comes to special time, I always encourage parents to think about a week and to try to give your kids about the same amount of special time over a week. But—and here's the caveat—when we have a kid who is struggling, they are demanding more of us. They are demanding more attention. And our time didn't increase.Tosha: So that means we are going to need to devote more time. It's going to be uneven. But that child—and especially, like, this is probably the number one reason that I hear for aggression to start, and we didn't talk about this at the beginning—is when a younger sibling is born. I mean, it is so often the trigger, I can't tell you.And if I could go back to all of those parents and say, “Don't worry about being fair. Just pour as much extra love and connection and yumminess into that child who's struggling as you can. It will pay off later. You can make it up to the other kids later.” In fact, you're giving them a gift by helping their older brother, because then his behavior isn't going to have that negative effect on them.So I think that we get stuck in the fairness sometimes. I'm not saying you do this, Sonya—this is just from my experience. And then we hold back from giving that child what they need. So special time isn't the only thing. I would say: make a list of things that you do with that 7-year-old that creates laughter between you, that you both feel really good—where you have that yumminess, like, oh, you're loving on him and he's loving on you. Maybe that's shooting hoops in the front yard, or maybe it's drawing a picture together, or jumping on the trampoline, or reading a book. I mean, it could be anything at all.You can do those things, and you can do them with the other three kids around. Also, keep doing all of that stuff. And you're going to have to, I think, carve out some time for one-on-one special time—named, timed—where he gets to lead and he gets to be the boss.Sarah: That's awesome. And we always talk about equity versus equality with the sibling relationships, and I think that's—Tosha: Oh yeah. I love that.Sarah: Okay, awesome. Thank you so much. Priya, do you want me to ask your question, or do you want to ask the question since you're on the call? Maybe she's stepped away or can't unmute herself. Uh, she wants me to ask. Okay. So I'm going to find Priya's question and ask it.Uh, Priya says: “My five-year-old gets angry at anything and everything. He has zero tolerance for any kind of dislike or disagreement. We acknowledge his feelings with empathy, doing our best to stay calm and give him time to process his emotions. The only limit we consistently set is holding him from hurting people or property while he yells, screams, says hurtful things, and tries with full rage to attack us.“We're consciously making time for roughhousing, special time, connection, laughter, and tears—though he rarely cries—and we talk about asking for help before things escalate. I've been trying to track patterns by logging some incidents, but sometimes it feels completely unpredictable. We often have no idea why he's screaming. If I push a chair slightly, he gets angry. If someone else presses the elevator button, he gets upset. If he has a plan in his mind and we don't pick up on it, he becomes extremely frustrated. He gets irritated and grumpy very easily. It's gotten to the point where we feel like we have to expect an outburst at any moment. It looks like it's becoming a habit for him, and I feel like I'm starting to walk on eggshells—always watchful for what might happen when I say or do something.”Tosha: Yeah, so this is a really—believe it or not—common situation. Did she say he was five? Is that five?Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I cannot tell you the number of parents who come to me and this is what they say: “I'm walking on eggshells.” Right? If we get to the point where we're walking on eggshells, generally what that says to me is that we are not either setting enough limits or we're not setting limits effectively.And one thing that I would suggest to Priya is to take a minute to think about whether or not there are places where she's feeling resentment. That's always a good sign for me—like, if I'm feeling resentment about something, then that's probably a place I need to hold a limit. If I'm not, then there's more wiggle room.So when this is happening all the time about everything, I would say: get really clear on what limits are important to you and what limits are not. Right? So if you're in public, in the elevator, and you don't want to deal with a big meltdown about the elevator button, can you plan for that? If you know that that's an issue, when you go in, you can say to people, “Hey, my son would really like to press the buttons—what floor would you like?”Sarah: Mm-hmm. Right.Tosha: “Here's our elevator operator—exactly. What floor, please?” Or, if somebody presses the button—or if she's pressing the button—to just go in knowing, “I'm not going to press the button. I'm going to let my child do this.” And if somebody else has already pressed it, you can say, “You know what? Hey, let's take the next elevator and then we'll press it. You can press it.”So there are places where we can be flexible. But we don't want to do that all the time, because essentially what this child is showing me is that he has a real intense lack of flexibility. And ultimately, the goal that I would have for him would be—slowly, slowly and lovingly—to help him increase that flexibility. So that, yeah, maybe he's not going to say, “Oh, shoot, I'm feeling really disappointed because I didn't get to press the elevator button and I really like to do that.” But maybe instead of having a huge tantrum, he just gets a sourpuss face and crosses his arms. Okay, I'll take that. That's better. We're moving in the right direction.So it sounds like you're doing a lot of things right, but I would hone in on limit-setting. Really: are you taking the time to think about what kind of limits you want to set? Are you letting go of limits when you know that you don't have the wherewithal to stay calm in the face of the upset?So, oftentimes—I'm hearing Priya say she does a lot of Stay Listening—I would be curious to know: what does that Stay Listening look like? Because I was working with a dad this week, a client of mine, and we were talking about a situation that was going on with his kid, who was coming home really frustrated with homework. And what ended up coming out of his mouth was, “I thought I was Stay Listening, but I think I actually wasn't Stay Listening.”Right—because Stay Listening isn't about trying to calm the child, or trying to get them to stop what they're doing. It can't be with the goal of, “Let me get this kid to quiet down,” kind of a thing. Stay Listening is really holding space lovingly for whatever needs to come out, which means—yeah—all the words, all—like, we don't take them personally.Sarah: Can I just interject something? For my community, what they would recognize Stay Listening as is “welcoming feelings.” Mm-hmm. Just because that'll be a familiar phrase to them. So I just wanna—Tosha: Yeah, absolutely. Right. But “welcoming feelings”—I feel like we need to also talk about: what does that look like? Mm-hmm. What does that look like when we welcome feelings? Because, you know, you could be upset and I could just be like—Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: —like waiting for you to be done. Right? I could be like, “Okay, I'm not gonna shut you down, but, you know, hey, whatever you do, what you need to do, I'm gonna go answer my email.” That's—you know—I can “welcome” the feelings like that. But again, coming back to our energy: what energy are we bringing to that? Are we really staying present with the energy of “We are gonna get through this,” with the energy of “You are safe,” with the energy of “I'm here with you.”Mm-hmm. Right? Like, can that child sense that they're not alone—that you're on their team? And that's maybe a good litmus test. If you were to ask yourself: do you feel like your child would feel like you're on their team, or that you're butting heads? Mm-hmm. And if the answer is “butting heads,” then the question is: what can you shift so that your child will feel like, “Hey, we're in this together”?Sarah: Sounds good. Priya, I don't know if you have anything to add. It sounds like maybe she can't unmute herself, but—oh, she says he screams really loud, so we usually stay quiet and don't say anything because it's really loud. We wait for the moment to pass before we can say anything, at the same time being present. So she's saying they're trying to be present, sometimes trying to say, “I see you're really upset.”Tosha: Yeah. And so when she says—I'm sorry, it's a little bit via you here—but before, when you say, “Priya, before I say something,” what is it that you're saying? Because another thing about Stay Listening—or welcoming feelings, from my perspective—is that saying something actually doesn't really have a place. So if we need to say something, it should—I think—uh, or let me just rephrase that: I find it most effective when it's something that essentially allows that child to feel safe, to realize that they're not alone.Right—to realize that we're on their team, and to realize that it's not gonna last forever. So that they're loved—these types of things. So I wouldn't—if you're naming feelings, and I don't know that she is or isn't, but if you're naming feelings—which is something that a lot of professionals, for example, will recommend—I would play around with stopping that and seeing if that makes a difference, because sometimes that's a huge trigger for kids. And maybe even, “I see you're upset,” or whatever it is that she said—that also might be a trigger.Yeah. Don't be afraid to really not say anything at all, and just think about each of these things as an experiment. Take a day and don't say anything at all and see if it makes a difference. Other things to try—'cause it sounds like he's quite sensitive—is distance, right? How close are you to that child? Some kids don't want you all up in their face. Some kids want to be on your lap and hugged. Some kids want to be a room's distance away. So play with distance; play with tone.Sarah: Love that. Thank you so much, Tosha. Does anybody else who's on the call have a question? And if not, I have questions that were sent in, but I want to give priority to people who are here. Uh, and—and Priya says, “Thank you, Tosha.”Tosha: Yeah, my pleasure. I'm trying to work without the direct back and forth.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: No—so I hope that was helpful.Sarah: Yeah, that was great, Lindsay.Tosha: And I want to acknowledge that it is really hard. It is hard.Sarah: Yeah. Yeah, definitely. It's one of the most—Tosha: It won't last forever either. Like, it's absolutely—move through. I can assure you of that.Sarah: Lindsay, do you have a question?Member B: Yes. I have a question about my son, actually. He's 10 years old, and I have a 10-year-old boy and then a 7-year-old girl. And a lot of times—there's kind of two different questions—but between the siblings, a lot of times my daughter will be, like, have verbal aggression towards him, and then he—he is my—he is a little more sensitive, and he will hold it in, and he won't spit out things back at her, but then he eventually will just hit her. And, like, he comes with the physical aggression. So kind of, as the parent, proactively trying to step in there—like, how do I handle both of those when one is verbal—maybe aggression—and one is physical? I know it can escalate there. Where do I step in?Tosha: Yeah. First of all, I just want to appreciate that you can see that there's a dynamic there. Because oftentimes we get into this place as parents where we're like, “This person is the aggressor and this person is the victim.” Because oftentimes there is a pattern like that, but it's—it's beautiful that you can see this dance that they're doing.Member B: Yeah.Tosha: And so if you see it kind of as a dance, you can interplay around and experiment with interrupting it in different ways. Okay. I would say that, in terms of the verbal aggression, what I have found works best—and again, I was talking to a client yesterday and he was saying to me that this is what works. Mm-hmm. I'm like, “Okay, so let's do more of that. You came out of your mouth; you said it works when you do it—let's do more.” And that is being playful in the face of the verbal aggression.And so it can look like a lot of different things. You could say ahead of time to your daughter something like, “Hey, I've noticed that, you know, sometimes these nasty words come out of your mouth towards your brother, and I know you don't mean them. So I'm gonna—I'm gonna pay attention and just try to help you with that, 'cause I know you don't want to hurt his feelings.”Member B: Yeah.Tosha: And just, you know, outside the moment, just kind of toss that out there. And then in the heat of the moment—I mean, you can just get as goofy as you can think. You could get a paper bag and just pull it over her head, right? Or you could get those indoor snowballs and just start pelting her with snowballs. You could do what we call the “vigorous snuggle,” which we write about in the book, which is something like, “Do you know what happens to little girls who call their brothers, you know, ‘stupid buttheads'” or whatever it is—Sarah: Uh-huh.Tosha: —and then you—rather than push away, which is what we tend to want to do—you do something goofy, right? “They get their elbows licked!” And then you're, like, chasing after her elbow and trying to lick it. What you're going for is laughter. You're trying to elicit laughter, because she's stuck in a hard spot where she can't feel compassion for him and she can't feel your love or anybody's. And so laughter will loosen that up.So I would say: interrupt the verbal aggression with play.Member B: Okay.Tosha: Some of those things will maybe annoy her; some of them will lead to laughter. And then sometimes you'll do an experiment and it'll annoy her—mm-hmm—and she'll explode. And what I want to say about that is—that's okay. Because, like we talked about with the school incident, it's an opportunity for her to do that healing and release the tensions and the hurts and the upsets and the gripes and all the stuff that she's holding in there. So when that happens, if you can welcome those feelings and not try to shut them down or judge her—or what many of us, sort of in the peaceful parenting world, will do is just talk, talk, talk, talk to her about it—if you can let all of that go—Member B: Yeah.Tosha: —you'll see the behaviors lessen. Okay? You know, that would be—I mean, we talked a little bit about the physical stuff before, so I thought for this question I would focus more on the verbal.Member B: Yeah.Tosha: But in the sibling dynamic, just kind of rotate who you go to, so they don't feel like there's one “bad guy” and one “woe-is-me” sibling.Member B: Yeah. Right.Tosha: Because ultimately, our goal as parents is to nurture that sibling relationship. Right. I don't—I don't know—like, I just had a birthday. I'm like, “This is my best birthday ever.” And people are like, “Really? How is it your best birthday ever?” I'm like, because, like, a lot of people couldn't come to my party but all three of my boys were home, and we sang karaoke, and the three of them sang me a song and sang all this. It was like—there is nothing I think we want more than to see our kids loving each other, enjoying each other—mm-hmm—having a strong relationship down the road.And let me tell you, these kids were at each other. I mean, now they're 18, 20, and 22. But I have been in your shoes where my mom would call me and be like, “I'm afraid they're gonna kill each other. I'm worried.” I'd be like, “It's okay. I got this, Mom. You know, things will change.” Yeah. But we do want to experiment—interrupt the behaviors.Member B: Yeah, I appreciate the trying different interventions and then also being prepared for her to, like, not enjoy some of them as well. 'Cause I think that happens a lot more than, like, the positive, you know, playful things. Right. So I appreciate that space to, like, let that happen too—and that's okay.Tosha: Yeah. It's—even more than okay. Like, that's kind of what needs to happen—mm-hmm—in order for her to shift—yeah—in order for her to be able to show up differently. She's stuck. Just think of her as being stuck.Member B: Yeah. And maybe it's not gonna fix that moment, but later on it'll be less and less, right?Tosha: Yeah. And it happens much more quickly than we think, oftentimes.Member B: Yeah. Yeah. Well, thank you. Yeah. The other quick question—do I have time, Sarah, to ask the second—Sarah: Sure.Member B: Okay. The second one is more—it's my 10-year-old. So recently, like, he was at a playdate. He's getting to play with a lot more of his friends. They're all playing football and sports and things, and he's just a bigger kid—my husband's 6'5”, so he's just naturally bigger than a lot of the kids. And he is super playful, but he gets, like, playful aggression. And, like, one of the moms was saying, like, “Oh my—” I've seen the dynamic of how all the boys are playing, and I noticed Calvin sometimes gets a little too aggressive. And her son Luke is pretty small. And Luke is like, “Yeah, I get trampled sometimes.” And so the mom was like, “I just try and tell Calvin, like, how big he is and, you know, his awareness.” But I know it happens with his sister, and I think it probably happens at school sometimes too—that he doesn't realize his size, and that maybe it comes out to be as, like—I don't know if he has internal aggression or if it's just playful and he's not aware of how big he is.Tosha: Yeah, I mean, I'd say two things about this. One is: I always have to ask the question in these situations—Is it the kids who are having the problem, or is it the parents who are having a problem?Member B: Yeah.Tosha: And I don't know the answer in this situation, but oftentimes our kids play a lot rougher than we feel comfortable with—but they're all actually having a good time. Yeah. I mean, the way that you said that kid reported didn't sound like it was a problem. I could be wrong and it could be a problem, but I think it's worth asking: whether or not it's a problem—Is that mom worried, or is the kid not having fun?Member B: Yeah.Tosha: So just to keep that in mind. Because there's often a par between what we are feeling comfortable with and the way our kids are going at each other. Right. And I think in that situation, we do want to stay close if we're not sure. And just ask—like, if you notice that energy going up—just say, “Hey, are you all having fun?” If everyone says yes—okay. If one person says no, then we know we need to intervene. Okay. So that's one piece.And then I think it's about body awareness for him. Mm-hmm. And maybe one thing that you could do at home would be some practice—sort of—physical wrestling matches or something of the sort, where you could just pretend like you're in a ring—Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: —with a timer, and do, like, 15-second, 30-second sessions—or whatever you call it. I'm not a boxing person or whatever, but I don't—Sarah: Rounds.Tosha: Rounds. Maybe it's rounds, right? Yeah. So where somebody's actually the ref and saying, “Okay, go at it,” and then when the whistle blows—when the ref blows the whistle—everyone has to run back to their corners. And so we're increasing the awareness of stop-start, stop-start.And then also I think it's oftentimes a good idea to have kind of a—what do you call it—an emergency word, secret word, whatever it's called—Sarah: Oh yeah.Tosha: —the word—Sarah: Safe word.Tosha: What's the word? Safe word. Safe word.Sarah: Safe word.Tosha: Yeah. Safe word. And so you all could figure that out at the beginning of this game. And, in fact, that's something that he could transfer over to his play with his friends. Like, “Yeah, once he learns—he's like, ‘I know I'm big; I'm just having a good time. I know I don't want to hurt you, but if things are getting too rough, say banana and I'll know I gotta pull back.'”Yeah. But “banana” is going to work a lot better than, “Hey, stop doing that,” or a parent coming in and saying, “Hey, be careful, you need to be careful, you're a lot bigger than him, you need to pull back.” That's not going to work as well. But you have to practice those things at home. So—come at it from two different angles.Member B: Yeah. I like how that is—he and his sister have a thing where if they're being too much, they yell “T.” Yeah. Okay. And so if they're like “T, T,” then they know like, oh, that's a timeout—like, I need to pause for a second.Sarah: Perfect.Member B: So yeah, maybe just—yeah—telling him, like, set it up with your friends so they can say it.Tosha: Yeah. If he already has that skill with his sister, that's amazing. Mm-hmm. And then, yeah—could we just transfer it over to a friend?Member B: Yeah, and I agree—it could be a little more parent than kid, because the kid's inviting Calvin over all the time and wants him to come back. So I'm like, I think they're having fun. You know, and it just may be the parent's perception of—or protection of—her child.Tosha: Right. And I think it's—I think it's fair to just ask.Member B: Mm-hmm.Tosha: You know, ask the child. I mean, you can ask the child if the child's at your house. Yeah. You can just say, like, “Hey, you know, if you guys need me, I'm in the other room,” or whatever. Like, you don't have to— I just—I don't like to assume that there's a problem.Member B: Mm-hmm. Yeah, because he's—he—it's very sweet. I just think he—he just plays rough sometimes and—Tosha: Yeah. Well, some kids like to play rough. And the other thing is, if we interrupt too much, we're interrupting the development of important emotional intelligence. Because one of the ways that kids learn—or build—emotional intelligence is through playing with one another. Right? If they play too rough, they're going to lose their playmate. Right. If they don't play rough enough, they're also going to lose their playmate. Right. This kid might like to play rough. I mean, this little kid might like to play rough—mm-hmm—because he doesn't have that opportunity with other kids. And, like, it's an opportunity to sort of be bigger and use strength and feel—I mean, I don't know.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: But there's something about the dance that they do when they play. I remember reading research about this in the animal kingdom. It was like a—it was a—I forget what his name was. This was like a million years ago at a conference when I was—back when I was a linguist—who was talking about this. And it was super, super interesting. I thought, “Wow, okay.” And so I think we need to let our kids also do that dance and just be present—so if there is a problem, we can step in—let them know that we're there. But don't assume there's a problem when nobody's complaining.Member B: Right. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Thanks, Lindsay. That's helpful.Sarah: So I'm conscious that we only have about, uh, eight minutes left with you. And I don't think anyone else on the call has a question, so I will go to a question that was sent in. And actually two questions that were sent in, and I'm not sure how different they are, so I'm going to tell you both of them.Okay. And if you can answer them both together, or if you think they're separate—if that works. Okay. So one of them is a person, a member who has a child—a girl—who is just about to turn eight. And when she gets upset, she hits and throws things at her mom. And they haven't been able to—and she's been following peaceful parenting—but still hasn't been able to curb this. She doesn't have any issues anywhere else, except for—Tosha: Okay.Sarah: —her mom. The second person has a 12-year-old daughter that is hitting, kicking, pinching, saying mean words, etc., to her younger siblings when they're not doing what she wants them to do. She's the oldest of five; has younger siblings who are 10, 8, 4, and 2. And she didn't mention this, but I know she also—when she gets upset—she will do that to her mom too.Tosha: Yeah. Yeah. So for me, these are really both limit-setting issues, right? Like I've said earlier, we have to come at aggression from all the different angles, right? So we talked—we started out at the beginning with the first question about, like, hey, let's—we gotta focus in on our own healing and our own triggers, and make sure that we're not sort of trying to skate over that and pretend that we're gonna be able to be better without addressing anything.We also have to focus on connection. Like—somebody said they're tracking. Yeah, we need to pay attention—like, when does this stuff happen? We need to pour in connection, like we talked about. Make a list of all the things that are yummy when you do them together—just do more, do more, do more. Use play in the ways that we've talked about.But limits aren't necessarily the place to start—but if there are safety issues, then we have to go right there. So if the problem—well, there are lots of problems—but one thing that I've seen is that if we let a child, quote-unquote, succeed—or if a child succeeds in hurting us—let's just say throwing—like, let's say we get a stapler thrown at us and we end up with a black eye, or a cut on our face, or whatever it is—that child feels more fear than they felt before. Because there's a huge amount of fear associated with having that much power when you're so small, and feeling like the adults in your life can't keep everybody safe.Right? Because our number one job, in my opinion, is to keep everybody safe and alive. Let's just start there. Mm-hmm. So this is just basic. So that means that in a situation like this, you're gonna want to pay attention. You're gonna really want to track when this happens. It's good—it only happens with you, I think. That's telling in the sense that she feels safe enough with you to be able to show you that she's kind of holding things together out in the world, but actually feeling yucky inside, and these feelings need to come out somehow.And the next step is you figuring out: well, how do I want to show her that, yes, I can keep her safe? And that is likely gonna look like you physically anticipating—for her throwing something—or you see that she reaches for the stapler, and you're gonna rush in and you're gonna put your hand on her hand on that stapler: “I don't want that stapler to get thrown.”And I'm not gonna lie—it's gonna look messy, and it's gonna be a struggle, and all of the things. That's fine—as long as you're calm. If you feel triggered by the throwing, and you don't feel like you can stay calm, and you can feel like—to talk about, you know, the sweet child underneath the yucky feeling. So let's—got the throwing or the hitting or the cussing out or the whatever up here, and there's just always this sweet child underneath.If you lose sight of that child, then in a situation like this, I would rather you walked out of the room and the—you know—the stapler hit the door. You know, it breaks the window or it dents the door or whatever it is. I don't want that to happen, but I would rather that happen than it hit you and then you hit her, or you held her harder than you want, or you screamed horrible things at her that you wished afterwards you could take back.Right. And I say these things not because I think you're doing this, but just because in my 20 years of working in this world and raising three kids—I know what those feelings feel like, and they're real, and they happen to all of us. So if you feel out of control, remove yourself.Sarah: Mm-hmm.Tosha: Even at the cost of the window. But—which is why we have to start with our own—getting ourselves in what I call “good enough emotional shape.” Because ultimately, you need to be able to move in, put your hand on that hand with the stapler, and just say something like, “I can't—I can't let you throw that, sweet girl. I can't let you throw that.” And that's it.And then she's gonna have a huge upset. She's gonna fight, and she's gonna try and—“Let go of me,” and “I can't breathe,” and whatever. And unless she breathes through her hand—like, she's breathing okay, right? But that upset, again, is the gold nugget. Like—then you welcome the feelings and you allow them to pour out. Because something happened. Something is going on. And it might not be that one thing happened during that day at school, or wherever, but it might be that there was a little nick and a little nick and a little nick. And every time—whatever—she didn't get what she wanted, or a sibling got something and she didn't, or you answered a sibling before you answered her, or whatever it is—they're just all little things.They happen. They're not your fault or anybody's fault. It's just that if, every time they happen, she doesn't release the yucky feelings that arise in her as a result, then what's happening is they're building up. And so I like to think of it as the sand—or the sedimentary rock—on the beach. You can see those striations in it, right? So it's like—sand is really soft; you can kind of brush it off, but when it sits and it hardens, then you have to take, like, a chisel to it.Sarah: Yeah. For our people, we call that “getting a full emotional backpack,” when you're talking about the nicks that build up over time. So that'll resonate for people.Tosha: Exactly. Exactly.Sarah: Thank you so much, Tosha.Tosha: Yeah.Sarah: I hope—that was—Tosha: Helpful. But you have to physically get in there.Sarah: Yeah, physically get in there. And if it happens too fast to catch the first one, you just kind of do your best and try for the second one.Tosha: Yes.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Yes. And then you expect the upset, and you stay with it if you can.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Remembering that that's just a scared little girl in there.Sarah: Yeah.Tosha: Right. You don't know what this is about. Just trust that her body knows that it needs to do this healing, and she's picked you because she knows you can handle it—that you won't lose sight of her goodness, that your love is strong. And that's an honor. I know it feels hard, but it's actually a real honor when we're the one who gets chosen for that emotional work.Sarah: I love that, and I want to highlight that a lot of what you talked about today was our own inner work on keeping ourselves calm and keeping our mindset of keeping track of that sweet child—as you say, the sweet child inside that's just afraid and needs us in those moments. 'Cause it can feel—I think a lot of parents can feel—like, quote, victimized, and that's probably going to get them deeper into the aggression than get them out of it.Tosha: Exactly. Exactly. And so we want to feel—I hope that after this call you feel empowered. I mean, I hope there's just one thing that you can take away and experiment with doing differently. Just think of these things as experiments. You don't have to get it perfect—right? Whatever the word is that you have in your head. Right. Just try something.Sarah: Just—Tosha: Pick one idea that you heard and try it. Try it for a day. See how it goes. And remember that if it leads to big upset on the part of your child, that doesn't mean you did it wrong. It probably means you're actually doing something right.Sarah: That's so key. I love that. Thank you so much, Tosha. We really appreciate you and your work, and everyone, be sure to let us know how it goes for you when you try some of these things. Let us know in the Facebook group. And thank you, Tosha—thanks for getting up early and meeting with us today.Tosha: Yeah, my pleasure. Thank you for inviting me back, Sarah.Sarah: Thanks, everyone. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit sarahrosensweet.substack.com/subscribe

Laron Chapman sits down to share the details for his first feature film as writer/director in seven years. He's back with a new upcoming psychological thriller, To Make the World Quiet, described as "Fruitvale Station meets The Sixth Sense with a dose of Get Out." The post Laron Chapman's ‘To Make the World Quiet' Makes a Final Fundraising Push – The Cinematic Schematic appeared first on The Cinematropolis.

Bucs WR Emeka Egbuka has been playing injured, according to Todd Bowles. Makes sense, right?

We've been spending some time thinking about love. Makes sense. After all, it comes up in the Bible—a lot.Truth is critical. So is doctrine. Related to these is love. It is an outward expression of the faith that God has given to us.Today I want to share a word of encouragement to those who don't … Continue reading Loving people when you don't “feel” very loving

On July 4th, 2025 an 870-page tax bill called the 'One Big Beautiful Bill Act' (OBBBA) was signed into to law. Some parts have been heavily discussed and others not so much. So we dug around ourselves and pulled out some hidden messages you may have missed that could have major implications to your FI (Financial Independence) journey.

Somehow, I missed this story that appeared in Compact Magazine by Helen Andrews, The Great Feminization.” In it, she writes:Cancel culture is simply what women do whenever there are enough of them in a given organization or field. That is the Great Feminization thesis, which the same author later elaborated upon at book length: Everything you think of as “wokeness” is simply an epiphenomenon of demographic feminization.The explanatory power of this simple thesis was incredible. It really did unlock the secrets of the era we are living in. Wokeness is not a new ideology, an outgrowth of Marxism, or a result of post-Obama disillusionment. It is simply feminine patterns of behavior applied to institutions where women were few in number until recently. How did I not see it before?And:The substance fits, too. Everything you think of as wokeness involves prioritizing the feminine over the masculine: empathy over rationality, safety over risk, cohesion over competition. Other writers who have proposed their own versions of the Great Feminization thesis, such as Noah Carl or Bo Winegard and Cory Clark, who looked at feminization's effects on academia, offer survey data showing sex differences in political values. One survey, for example, found that 71 percent of men said protecting free speech was more important than preserving a cohesive society, and 59 percent of women said the opposite.And this, which would make a great dystopian sci-fi novel:All of these observations matched my observations of wokeness, but soon the happy thrill of discovering a new theory eventually gave way to a sinking feeling. If wokeness really is the result of the Great Feminization, then the eruption of insanity in 2020 was just a small taste of what the future holds. Imagine what will happen as the remaining men age out of these society-shaping professions and the younger, more feminized generations take full control.Yes to all of this. I would also argue that a feminized society has given more power to the LGBTQIA movement because the one identity group not allowed is masculine, heterosexual men. Feminization has meant, to me, a much more boring and dreary culture—agonizing, if you want the truth. Hollywood has never recovered. Her piece explains much of what I've been dancing around in the past five years, and it might explain why hatred toward me, especially by women, is so profound. Why am I not behaving like all the other women by obeying the rules of Woketopia?Cancel culture started on the pages of Tumblr circa 2013 when middle school-aged girls began constructing a totalitarian system of control that punished people for stepping out of line. Here was Liat Kaplan admitting she helped start it all. It also has its roots in the rise of Black Twitter, though largely driven by women. When it was co-opted by the more dominant group - white women - it swallowed society whole, at least on the Left and in the bubble.When you think about it, whole generations of girls have been raised to be empowered, while men have been raised to be exactly the opposite, disempowered. How did we think it would turn out? So much of our common theories about what's happened to us can be laid at the feet of the matriarchy, and the Left's ongoing insistence that the system of oppression upon which their movement is based has not been fundamentally altered. They still need a fresh crop of oppressed people because that is how white women find their sense of purpose, their virtue signals — illegal immigration, Free Palestine, in order to justify their authoritarian control of our culture and its institutions. They still pretend we live in a rape culture where women are victims and men are predators. And yet, we know things have dramatically changed. Their movement cannot account for that change.I raised a daughter in the same progressive schools and culture that bred this madness. Part of why I write this site and have risked so much is to help clear a path for her to live a freer life and say what she actually thinks without losing everything. But I also watched how boys raised alongside her came of age in a society that punished them for who they were, and many of them wander around aimlessly, or they become mass shooters, or they suffer lives of quiet desperation. And yet, none of us ever thought about why this may be, or at least we didn't have adequate solutions. We all know what happened with girls and boys in our schools. I watched it happen. The boys had too much energy, couldn't be controlled, and were constantly singled out as the problem, while the girls thrived. Yet, the only response was to try to change the boys so they fit, rather than change the system to accommodate their needs. I lived all of this because I am, or was, the typical female Liberal. I remember when mostly white women, the Oprah generation, became the most profitable demographic with the most disposable income. We were mostly unmarried, homeowners, business owners, or the ones who went to work while men stayed home with the babies. All corporations aimed their products at us. When Gen-Z became the more desirable demographic, women took it personally, and that explains why they are in such a state now when it comes to Trump and his defeat of Queen Hillary. A society that had empowered women expected a woman to finally be elected president. Women on the Left believe that in a patriarchy, once women pass the childbearing years, they become worthless. After the age of 40 or 50, invisible. But that's never been true. Post-menopausal women do have value because they can become leaders and grandmothers to help guide younger women. I could go into a whole thing here about human evolution, but I'll spare you the extra 500 words. I used my own sexuality as a card to play for decades, and then when it was gone, I was lost in some ways. But I also realized that if you re-order society and “smash the patriarchy,” you never have to absorb that shift. You can pretend there is no reality to any of it. Fat women can be sexy, old women can stay young and desirable. If everyone is equal (Marxism), women never have to face getting old and fading away. Makes sense.It's just a screeching harpie. Relax. The truth is that once you see the feminization thesis, you can't unsee it. It's suddenly everywhere. Now, I will look at personal attacks against me a little differently. It's just a screeching harpie. Relax. The other half of this story that must be told is the rise of Trump in response to it. I've written about that too:There is a reason the man who is an affront to these screeching harpies has taken power and won our Virtual Civil war. He's an unapologetic, heterosexual, masculine man. Barack Obama was not. He was a sensitive, empathetic man who led our country for eight transformative years. If the end result of that was a feminization of society, then Trump is the response to it.I even jokingly made this political ad last year before the election:In all the ways Trump is the Gray Champion of the Fourth Turning, this might be the most profound. The absence of men and masculinity has set society off-kilter. We've all noticed, it's just that no one has articulated it quite as well as Helen Andrews or J. Stone, who wrote the book. Understanding it as a feminization also removes any discussion of race, which is where many get tripped up when discussing wokeness. They see the word “woke” as a dog whistle. And yet, all this time, it had nothing to do with race except in the way that white women, who dominate the Left, need to virtue signal, and the best way to do that is to use minorities.It also tracks that emotional manipulation drives this. Women are more likely to use emotion as a lever of power, which explains why, for ten years, we've seen the rise of mass hysteria. Sure, it's a cliche to call women hysterical, but how else to explain it? Listen to this woman who is straight out of Central Casting for the kinds of women who control the Left and thus, society.So the question then becomes, how do we stop it? How do we change it? I'm not sure it can be fixed. As I've been saying for a while now, there is no saving the Left. There is only saving America from them. We must build anew, build outside of what is in place now. We're halfway there already. But Helen Andrews believes that once we return to a meritocracy, the problem will take care of itself. It's hard to argue with that. What a mess we've made of things by denying those who are good at what they do to rise in this country of all countries. It had to be Trump. There was no one else with the right set of skills to get the dirty job done. //End song:Link to tip jar. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit www.sashastone.com/subscribe

I must admit I was of two minds about when to do this year’s special Halloween show. My first thought was that since the actual holiday falls on a Ledge night I’d just save it for that evening. Makes perfect sense, right? But then again, it’s a dated show once it hits November. Isn’t it smarter to do it a full week ahead so fans of ghoulish rock and roll can enjoy my spooky favorites for a full week? That’s what I decided to do. Like every special Halloween broadcast, tonight’s episode is full of almost all brand new tunes for the ocassion. Many are special releases for the trick or treaters, such as new singles by Vista Blue, Brad Marino, Lynda Mandolyn, and The Goldstars. Others come from full-blown Halloween albums, such as Big Stir’s Chilling, Thrilling Hooks and Haunted Harmonies and The Halloween EP by The Bacarrudas. Other tunes come from regular releases from the last few months that just happened to fit the horror theme. What tracks did you enjoy the most? For more info, including setlists, head to http://scotthudson.blogspot.com

I must admit I was of two minds about when to do this year’s special Halloween show. My first thought was that since the actual holiday falls on a Ledge night I’d just save it for that evening. Makes perfect sense, right? But then again, i...

Do you ever look at other property management companies and wonder how they were able to grow and scale to thousands of doors?  In this episode of the #DoorGrowShow, property management growth experts Jason and Sarah Hull share insights they gleaned from successful founders and CEOs of multi-billion-dollar companies. You'll Learn [00:59] Execution is More Important Than Good Ideas [11:51] Narrowing Your Focus to What You're Best At [19:41] Ask Your Target Market [30:33] Everyone Should be Focused on One Goal Quotables “There's no shortage of ideas. It's execution that's the hard part.” “Everyone thinks… if I scale, I've got to do more. And actually, you have to do less to be able to scale…” “A lot of times we get caught up in creating systems, inventory, things that actually cause waste or over-optimizing each individual department or each individual step, but it actually reduces the overall goal of optimizing.” Resources DoorGrow and Scale Mastermind DoorGrow Academy DoorGrow on YouTube DoorGrowClub DoorGrowLive Transcript Jason Hull (00:00) a lot of times we get caught up in creating systems, inventory, things that actually cause waste or over optimizing each individual department but it actually reduces the overall goal of optimizing for making more money.   All right, I'm Jason Hull. This is Sarah Hull, the owners of DoorGrow, the world's leading and most comprehensive coaching and consulting firm for long-term residential property management entrepreneurs. For over a decade and a half, we have brought innovative strategies and optimization to the property management industry. At DoorGrow, we believe that good property managers can change the world and that property management is the ultimate.   high trust gateway to real estate deals, relationships, and residual income. At DoorGrow, we are on a mission to transform property management business owners and their businesses. We want to transform the industry, eliminate the BS, build awareness, change perception, expand the market, and help the best property management entrepreneurs win. Now, let's get into the show. Okay, so we recently kind of split paths, right?   so that you could go learn some stuff and I could go learn some stuff. So we usually do everything together. So, but we had, which I love, but we had two really cool opportunities. One I was very much more interested in than the other, because I was learning about AI, which I've been geeking out on. And then you went off to go to a profit event. And was really cool. We went to the first day together, but the second and third day I was in.   AI workshop, geeking out with some of the best on AI. Cool. I would love to hear what you took away from this event and what you learned, and maybe you can share that.   I wanted to go over my notes on one speaker in particular. I was kind of going back and forth between two of them and I think this is the one that I landed on. at a different date I could talk about the other one because you weren't there for either one of them. But on the second day, I'm just gonna call this like notes from a billionaire and not just a billionaire but a multi.   Billionaire and not just multi-billionaire but someone who is the founding member and CEO of I think they said they grew it to like it was a ridiculous number like 740 billion or it was a big it was a big number it was a very large impressive number and he was so nice I actually had a conversation with him before I even realized who he was I was chatting with him I wish I would have known   Like I recognized the name and then I saw him speak and I went man. I would've asked him a different question So I'll do a quick little intro and then I'll kind of share my notes from what I wrote down while he was presenting so intro his name is Jeff Hoffman and For those of you that don't know the name Like I didn't know the name before as soon as I say the name of the company you'll instantly go. okay No, know the company   The company is Priceline. So he is one of the founding members of Priceline. They started it and scaled it to many hundreds of billions of dollars.   This is some of the advice that he had shared with us in his Speech because I got to hear him get up and speak and present to the entire room. So The first thing that I wrote down I Don't know if he can be credited with saying this or if he was quoting someone else But he said it so I wrote it down because it resonated very much was ideas are welcome here But execution is worshiped   And I think that's really powerful because how many times do we all have this great idea, right? my God, I had this idea. my God, I had this idea. my God, we should do this. We should do that. What if we did this? There's no shortage of ideas. It's execution that's the hard part. It's turning an amazing idea into something and bringing that to life and bringing it to fruition. So I love it so much. That's good. Yeah.   too much attention a lot of times on the idea and the planning and all this stuff, but actually executing and actually getting something done, that's really all that matters. It doesn't matter. You can have a million ideas. If there's no execution, then who cares? So, okay. So I think my mom is a great example of this. Everyone, think mostly everyone knows Elf on the Shelf. So my mom, before Elf on the Shelf was a thing, she created it.   She just didn't do anything with it. She only used it like for me and my brother, but we had an elf that would come and visit and kind of keep an eye on us. And he would do fun things and he would pop around to different places in the house. So every time in the morning we would wake up and he would be in a different place or sometimes he would be doing like an activity. He'd be like baking or, you know, riding a bike or whatever. And it was so funny because when you look back on it, I went, mom, like,   that was off on the shelf and it's like multi-million dollar company. And she went, yeah, I wish I knew that. But she was just trying to do something fun for her kids. So she had taken that idea because it was, it was a great idea. And she executed on it, but she never brought it public. Can you imagine what would have happened if the execution was done on a larger scale? So she'll probably hate the fact that I'm calling her out on that. But I think that'll be her.   multi-million dollar missed story. Yeah. Yeah. So some of the questions that Jeff had asked when we're thinking about ideas, because we all have ideas. Some of them are good. Some of them are questionable. And some of them we can say like, yeah, that was a dud. So this is kind of a framework to take you through to figure out, is this worth executing on? One is.   Is this a problem? So you have to ask yourself, is this an actual problem? Like what you're doing, does this solve some sort of problem? And then bonus points if it's a big problem, right? So if we go back to the story of Priceline, many, many years ago, those kiosks that are in every airport that you can just check in on, you do not need to go and talk to a gate agent or a ticketing agent. They didn't used to exist.   You used to have to go stand in line and wait forever to get your ticket and your boarding pass and perhaps give somebody physically give somebody your bag and a lot of times people would miss their flight because the line was so so so long and you never knew ahead of time like is this gonna be a 10 minute line or is this gonna be a two hour line so people would miss their flight   And at one point, he turned around and he was in the airport, turned around, looked at the line and went, wow, this is such a crazy long line. And he decided, I'm going to start interviewing people right here and right now. And he went around asking people individually, how long have you been waiting? Wow, what happens if you miss your flight? Wow, what would you do? Would you think it would be valuable or beneficial if there was some sort of service where you didn't need to talk to the gate agent?   And people were bidding on it. They were bidding. They were like, I'll give you $10 if you can get me my ticket without talking to the gate agent. And then somebody else will go, no, forget $10. I'll give you $50 for that. And somebody else will go, oh, I must get there today. I will give you $70 to get there today. People were bidding on it in line. So he realized, one, there's a problem, but actually it's a big problem. So he knew he was on to something right there.   The second question is, is there a better way to do this? So is there a better way to check in for your flight than waiting in line and talking to a gate agent? Yeah, there sure is. It just hadn't been invented yet. But is that the best way to do it? No, absolutely not. So there was a better way to do something. And the third is, is there a value equation, which all that means is would somebody buy this?   And he knew that one, he had a problem and it was a big problem. Two, there was a better way to do it. And three, people would definitely pay for it because people were bidding on it while he was standing in line. People were like, wait, do you know something we don't know? Like, I will give you money if you can just get me on the front line because I need to get on this flight. So hence how Priceline was born. So those are three questions that you can kind of ask yourself. If you're going, okay, I have this idea, should I?   Should I do this? Should I act on it? Should I create something with this? Yeah. Seems pretty simple. think a lot of times we get really disconnected. you know, we study stuff, we learn stuff, we think we know, but when you actually go talk to your target audience and do a little bit of product research interview, you know, you can find out a lot of things that problems they have, things they need, and actually connect with, you know,   what you're wanting to sell them may not actually work. So yeah, I think that'd be super helpful. All right. So then he kind of gave tips on, well, if you are looking to seriously, massively scale a company because it's not, let's face it, not every company gets to a million, certainly not even to a billion and absolutely not to hundreds of billions of dollars. Right. So   These are tips that he had given the room in order to help you scale. And everyone thinks, you know, if I scale, I've got to do more. And actually you have to do less to be able to scale at that large of a size. he said, find your gold metal product or service. So for them, if you remember, if you would go on Priceline when it first launched, there was different tabs.   the top right you could book a flight you could book a hotel room you could book a cruise you could get a rental car you do a vacation package like they did all the things yeah and they were scaling but it wasn't to the size that they wanted to get to and they went okay if we only did one thing what would it be like what are we the best at the world at and for them it was hotel rooms so they said okay   It's not that we have to cut the other stuff. It's just that we're not going to market it. We're not going to advertise it. We're not going to talk about it. We're not going to put any money, time, or energy into that service. It's just there. But what we will do is we'll go all out on hotel rooms.   because they were the best in class at hotel rooms. So they didn't cut the other things out. Go on there now, you'll still see, but their bread and butter is hotel rooms. So the other things are still available. It's just that they never, if you look at any Priceline commercials, you'll never see anything other than hotel rooms. Why do think that is? Because they're marketing what they're the best in class at. So that is their top service.   Next is find your gold medal talent. So what was their gold medal talent? Any guesses? Don't cheat, don't lie. I know the answer because I was there. I don't know. I would imagine it's related to hotel rooms. So their gold medal talent are probably the best hotels. It was their algorithm. Okay.   for connecting people to hotels. So their algorithm was their talent. They had a talent in that. What is Amazon's? Shipping. Shipping. It's delivery. So if you remember, Amazon didn't start selling everything on the planet. It started as a book store. That's it. They only sold books. And what I didn't know is that when this whole internet   thing was blowing up. were three companies that were kind of becoming rising to the top all at the same time. It was Priceline with Jeff Hoffman and Partners. There was eBay. His name was Jeff and Pierre. Jeff and Pierre. And then there was Amazon. And that's Jeff Bezos. So somebody had asked him, what does it take to be successful in this internet thing? And he said, just find somebody.   who's a really good Jeff. They all had the best, they were the best in class at something and then they had the best in class at a specific talent. So Amazon, they got fantastic at shipping and they only did books. And Jeff Bezos said, you know, when we get, I'm only doing books right now. And then when we get to a certain size with books,   Then I want to branch out and then we'll do everything. But I don't want to do everything first right now. I just want to build our name and our reputation solely on books. Why? Because they were amazing at shipping. And now anytime that you buy something online, usually what's the first thought you think? Amazon probably has that. Why? Because you know they'll ship it. And then you need to shape your brand. That's the third piece of this.   you need to ask yourself what question are you the answer to? So for them, I need a hotel room. Where do I go? right, priceline. Or, they did a lot of this too, I want a $200 hotel room but I don't want to $200 on it, I only want to spend, you know, $100 or $80. Where do I go? Priceline. So shape your brand around that.   And then you've got to, in that arena, you've got to find your brand asset. So everyone goes, know, why should I work with you? I just watched a Jeremy Miner video, like at his live event, and he had a microphone and he went up to someone in the audience and he said, hey, why would someone work with you? I've seen these videos. And he let them answer. And he goes, mm-hmm.   Okay, and then he goes to the next audience answer and he goes, why would someone work with you? And he does it again and he goes, okay, so all of you guys really sound the same. You're in wildly different industries and companies, but you all sound the same. Yeah. Right? So you can't sound the same as everybody else and expect to stand out. So if you could only give one reason that somebody would work with you, what would that one reason be?   It's not about all the reasons, it's about the one reason and that shapes your brand. Yeah. Yeah. So I thought that was really good. If you aren't sure, you don't know, if you're like, I don't know, there's a lot of reasons why somebody wouldn't work with us. Ask your customers. Yeah, like why did they pick you? Why? What is the one reason? Don't just say why did they pick you because then they'll go, because of X, Y and Z. Great, was it X or was it Y or was it Z?   What is the one main reason that you decided to work with us? And do that ask 10 people. If you don't have 10 people, then keep selling until you can get 10 people. Because that data will tell you what is it that your customers have found in your messaging even though maybe you didn't do a great job at delivering it. So I thought that was really interesting. Yeah, that's good.   They talk about broadcasting versus what they call narrow casting So this is focusing on the right people not just any person Because for every product for every service for every brand There are the right people and Then there's everybody else So if you're trying to close every deal, it's almost like an impossible game Who do you target?   Will we target people? Everyone. People? Really? Who do you target? Well, I work with real estate investors. Well, geez, okay. There's only like hundreds of millions of those in the world. Which ones do you target? Yeah. Right? So some of this goes into our client-centric mission statement when we take our clients through their company culture stuff. But we want to get really, really clear on who are my people.   Not just who are people that could buy this. What are the right people to buy this? To work with me, to choose this, right? There's a difference. Right.   I mean, this makes sense. know, yeah, you got to really be specific because if you target everybody, you target nobody. Then then you're just more noise in the marketplace. So if you want to be, you know, like we're pretty niche at DoorGrow, we target long term residential property management companies in the U.S. Like that's our target audience that do third party property management. So that's our...   Do we get other types of clients? Sure, but that's our bread and butter. That's who we focus on and that's very specific. Those are the people we know we can help. And I'd say we're the best in the world at that. yeah. Right. So I think Sharan calls it a dog whistle. Right? Speak to your people and anyone who isn't your people, they won't hear it. It's not for you. Go ahead, I don't want you to hear it.   Just the dogs, Just the right ones. They'll hear it. Okay. This I liked a lot. He said, focus on your second slide customer. So find your yeses instead of overcoming nos. Every sales training in the world goes, let's overcome objections. Let's overcome no. Let's work a no into a yes. Let's see what we can do to turn it around. Overcome objections. No, don't overcome objections. Just find the yeses.   Second slide. Yeah, so you know when you have like a whole presentation prepared. Yeah, and The example he gave is he said he went out with one of his sales reps And there was like a 20 slide presentation that they that was like their pitch deck, right? so he spent the day with a sales guy and the first meeting they went to He got through all 20 slides and the woman was like, yeah, this sounds really good. I'm gonna think about it   I think we need to go back to you. like, yeah, yeah, like it wasn't a solid yes, because she didn't commit, she didn't sign up. But she was open to it. She's like, yeah, let me think about this. Like, let me take it up to management. We'll do something. So he got out of that meeting and he said to the sales rep, said, how do you think that went? Sales rep was super proud. He went, yeah, that was a great pitch. She's definitely going to buy. Like, she's going to come back around. Like, that's a deal that'll close. It's like in the pipelines.   about to close. Jeff said, yeah, I just didn't say anything. It's like, I just didn't say anything. I'm like, I'm not going to skew it. I just want the data, right? So he goes into another sales pitch, same sales rep. Slide two out of 20, two. They look at each other and went, oh my God, you're exactly what I needed. We're ready.   And the sales rep was like, well, wait, let me tell you more about the rest. And he's like nudging the guy. He's like, sign them up. They're ready. They don't need more information. They don't need anything else. They're ready to go right now. Stop trying to complete the pitch. It's done. You don't need the other 18 slides. They already said yes, and they said yes on slide two. Find your slide two yeses. Don't try.   to keep on going, don't try to turn the nose and do yes, don't overcome their objections, find your slide two customers. So what they actually did, this I thought was so interesting. This lit up my brain because I like data so Okay, I'm going to pause you. So nice little hook. Now we're going to go to our sponsor and then everyone can hear what you're about to Oh, that's so good. All right, so this episode is sponsored by Blanket.   So really like the team over at Blanket. Blanket is a property retention and growth platform that helps property managers stop losing doors, add more revenue, and increase the number of properties they manage. Wow your clients with a branded investor dashboard and an off-market marketplace while your team gets all the tools they need to identify owners at risk of churning and powerful systems to help you add more doors. So check it out, it's an amazing property retention platform.   Even if it's switching owner hands, you keep the property. So check out Blanket. what he did is he profiled people. know that sounds like nowadays we're elect. Don't profile that. No, profile our best customers who your best ones. Okay. That target audience. Who were your easiest sales? Who are your biggest fans?   Right? Figure out what do they have in common. They all have something in common, but what is it? So for them, they figured out that a rep that worked at the hotel chain that went, huh, we have all these extra hotel rooms. What do we do with them? Like, how do we sell them? That was their job. It's just to figure out how do we sell more rooms. Those were like his target audience. The reps that were brand new.   like one to two years on the job.   That was not it. Because they're so new that they're not willing to take a risk yet. So they were not very likely to close. It's not that they wouldn't close. not that you couldn't close them. It's that it wasn't like almost a guarantee to close them. Also, reps that have been in the job for like 15, 18, 20 years. Yeah. Also not it. Why? Because they know how to give a shit.   He's like, they're out the door, they're for the door, they're about to retire. They don't care. They don't care if they sell more hotel rooms. They just care that they keep their job until they can retire. So they're not, again, they're not almost practically guaranteed to close. So if you were in this bracket or in this bracket, he was like, yeah, it's not you. I'm not gonna target those people.   It's the people in between. It's the people that have been there for like three to, you know, somewhere between like that three to fifteen, three to fourteen years. Those people were amazing because they're not afraid to speak their opinion. They're looking to kind of make a name for themselves at this point. And they're not afraid to take a risk. But they are looking to do something big. Those were his people. How do think you figured that out?   as he profiled his best customers again and again and again. And you went, huh, look at that. The new ones, they don't do it. The old ones, they don't do it either. It's only this slot in the middle. And those, those are our people. Got it. I like that. Yeah, right? Makes me think, like, with our clients, who is almost always a guarantee to close? That's the profile of the target. Yeah. That's exactly what you want to do, because you want to profile the ones.   It's like a shoe in. If I didn't close this, it would be insane. Right? They even took it a step further. actually created a 100 points scoring chart. Yeah. And there were different questions. One of the questions was that one, for example, like how long have you been with your company? So if you're like one to two years, he would give them like negative 20 points. yeah. Right? So now it's like, your score just went down. now you answered this way. Your score went down again. Your score went down again.   Same thing with those, you know, the older ones. They would be like a negative 40 though, because they really didn't care. It's easier to close the newer ones than it is the older ones. So like, oh, I've been here 18 years. He's like, cool, negative 40 points. In the middle though, he might go, okay, there's like 25 points. Maybe there's 15 points. They just scored 15. Now what else? So you have to ask these questions and what his team got so good at doing once they implemented this hundred   100 point score sheet is They can ask a couple questions do the math in their head and then immediately decide is this worth my time? So if you knew you were talking to a 40 Go to lunch It's not you're not gonna close it. It's a 40 out of a hundred like go home That's it. But when you would get your 80s when you get your 90s, you'd be really excited. Yeah. Oh man. Okay. Let me invest in this   So they created this whole scoring chart. I thought that was so brilliant. Yeah. I mean, that's pretty standard feature in a lot of CRMs is lead scoring. coming up with a rubric or an algorithm for scoring your leads can be pretty significant. So yeah, it's a difficult thing to figure out, though. You've got to really know why which customers are good. So you can kind of figure out how do I score someone to duplicate these people. Right. Yeah. So good.   And this is probably something that will help you figure out how to score people and what questions to ask and what do they all have in common. He said, spend a day in the life of your customers and do it often. So the story that he told us, there was a company that when it launched, he knew the guy. He was having a conversation with him and he said, Hey, why did you launch your company the way that you did?   when every single market expert said it wouldn't work and you did it anyway and it worked and it was wildly successful but what made you go no I'm gonna do it anyway and the answer was well that's easy I didn't even ask the market experts so I didn't know that they didn't think that it wouldn't work because I didn't bother asking the market experts Jeff said well what did you do?   He said, well, I asked my audience. Sure. I asked my customers. That's it. He said, OK, well, how did you do that? So in this little town, across the bridge on like the less nice side of town.   The owner of this company, and I'll tell you the company in a minute, but the owner of this company, he would be in his office with his team all day. His team had MBAs, they were finance executives, they were accountants, right? Not, not his target audience. So he would get changed into jeans and a flannel shirt and a John Deere hat. He would go across the bridge to the bad side of town.   and would sit in a diner all day long. Every Friday he would do this. And he would just talk with people who would come in there. He would just make friends with them. He would chit chat. He would ask them questions. And he would just gather data. And he used that data for his lunch. Do you have any guesses? Did I tell you? I think I told you this story. You probably did. Do guesses on who it was? Uh, no. Walmart. Oh.   Sam Walton. Yeah, so this was Walmart. Okay. Every single expert said that will never work. And he said, yeah, I don't need to listen to experts. I need to listen to my customers. Right. Because the customers are going to tell you what they want. Yeah, they're the ones buying. So they know. So it doesn't matter what experts say. It matters what the customer says. Yeah, absolutely.   It was so good, right? And he really, he got to know these people. So it doesn't matter what the market says. It doesn't matter what the expert says. It matters what your customers say. If your customers are going to tell you what they want, you shall listen. And now you'll have a successful product, regardless of what the experts say. The experts don't understand everything like your customers do. Listen to what they're telling you.   So if you just get that data that allows you to do things that even other people would say, you're crazy, don't do that. And he didn't think it was crazy. He was like, no, I just, they're telling me what they want. I'm just going to do that. And he did. And it's still around today. Huge brand. Sometimes customers don't tell you what they want, but if you are connected with them enough, you can see what they're having problems with and what they're struggling with. And sometimes they just,   think that that's normal. They're just like, yeah, this is, hiring's hard, you know? And then I'm like, cool, we built a hiring system that solves this problem, right? And so, but a lot of people just kind of say, yeah, it's, you know, it is what it is. And they don't really think that it's a solvable problem sometimes. So that's, that's where I think, you know, you need to ask your customer, but you also need to, sometimes your customers are wrong. Like they don't know. And you have to be able to be creative enough to figure out what.   would they want if it was, you know, if they recognize this problem. And then sometimes you have to sell them, you attract, it's like we attract a lot of people at DoorGrow that think they want leads and they think they want digital marketing and they think they want SEO. And then we have to guide them towards what they actually need and sell them what they actually need, which is totally different. Yeah. So that's, that's, that can be a challenge. Maybe we'd be smarter if we just sold them what they were asking for, but.   they wouldn't get as great of results. Yeah, I feel like though, I personally, I just don't feel good about doing it. Yeah. Because to me, that's just a money taker, right? Right. That's an order taker, that's a money taker. That's like, hey, I really need to grow my business and like, I think this will work. And then that's like, yeah, give me your money. sell you that. just give you a whole bunch of leads. And months go by and...   Well, how come my business didn't grow? I only closed like four deals. Well, I just don't, I don't think I can really get behind that with integrity. Yeah. Yeah. It's not exciting to me. I know there are companies out there that will, and especially now with AI, like just be super careful with SEO. Be like extra careful at this point with SEO because SEO is literally dying.   Like thing. Yeah, the whole game's changed. With AI. The whole game's changed. More people are using chat GPT than Google. It's been a huge disruptor. It's such a big disruptor that the antitrust lawsuit against Google has dropped.   I mean that's massive. for those that don't know, just sum it up, the antitrust lawsuit. Well, Google was being sued because they had almost no competition. They dominated the search market like nobody could compete. And the closest competitor was like a small fraction. And so the government was going after them with an antitrust lawsuit. And then ChatGPT broke. All these AI tools and platforms came out. And now Google is no longer viewed as   viable you know threat of a monopoly yeah and they may be losing this whole AI race which is super wild right yeah they're fighting they've got their AI tool all over the place Gemini is pretty good it's really good for a lot of things but it's not winning   Yeah, yeah. yeah, with like, chat GPT was something nobody knew that could happen. Like we didn't even realize this was something we all wanted. We all wanted like some almost genius thing that we could talk to all the time to get all sorts of information. Yeah, quickly without having to dig and try and do our own research. So, well. Okay, we'll go one more story and then I've got a closing quote.   So I think we all know at this point the brand 1-800 flowers they're huge now So before they used to be huge because they weren't always Jeff went out to go visit one of their shops And everywhere everywhere in the shop they had posters printed up like slopped on the walls every wall   in every room, in the hallways, in the bathroom, in the garage, in every single room. And it was just printed up on the walls, sell more flowers. Why? Because that is what we're all about. That is the only thing that we care about is selling more flowers. We don't care about anything else.   We are only here to sell more flowers. And every single person in this company exists for one reason and one reason only and that is to sell more flowers. So every single person, every single minute of every single day needs to be thinking, how can I sell more flowers? So it doesn't matter what their role was in the business, they need to be thinking, how can I sell more flowers? So he's walking down the hall and there was an admin.   She did a lot of paperwork, answering the phones, things like that. She's got this huge stack of papers and she's walking down the hall with a stack of papers. And the owner says, hey, whatever her name is, Susan, hey Susan. And he points up to the wall and he goes, what are you doing right now? And she goes.   puts the paperwork down, turns around, walks away. And Jeff said, well, what on was that? And he said, if you're not, we have a rule, if you are not doing something, that can somehow be connected to how does it help us sow more flowers? My rule is you do not do it. Ever. So whatever she was doing, clearly, was not connected to sow more flowers. So therefore, I reminded her, sow more flowers.   And she stopped, promptly, what she was doing and went back to what she should be doing, which is sell more flowers. So they continue on this tour. They get back into the back of the shop, into the garage where they've got their van for deliveries. And they have a mechanic. The mechanic is underneath, one inch away. And he goes, hey. He goes, watch this. He goes, hey, Joe.   He points at the wall. He goes, what are you doing right now? And Joe says, oh, well, I was installing this new filter on all of our vans because this new filter, it saves us X money dollars in gasoline per tank. I think it was $8. So we save with this new filter. We actually save like $8.   per tank of gasoline. So I'm going to install each of the filters on our vans. And then what I'm going to do is I'm going to go inside and tell marketing to print up some coupons for $8 off.   of a bouquet of flowers and we're going to run that as a promo because if we just saved eight dollars that means we have eight dollars extra so we might as run a promo and that'll help us sell more flowers. And he goes, yeah, it's brilliant. Do that. So the mechanic is thinking all day every day how do I sell more flowers? Now would a mechanic generally be thinking about selling flowers? No.   He'd be thinking, how do I wrench on this? How do I fix that? What about the oil change? What about the tires? What about the spark plugs and the brakes? He's not thinking about selling flowers. But it wasn't lost on him because all day, every day, he's staring at a big sign that says, sell more flowers. So it doesn't matter what you are doing. If it's not connected to helping us sell more flowers, what you're doing does not fricking matter. This goes along with a book called The Goal by Elihu Goldratt. And The Goal, spoiler for everybody that wants to read this.   operational book is to make money. And so a lot of times we get caught up in creating systems, inventory, things that actually cause waste or over optimizing each individual department or each individual step, but it actually reduces the overall goal of optimizing for selling more flowers, for example, or making more money. And so sometimes   team members standing around doing nothing is more effective than them building more widgets for the next step because it just creates more waste or more inventory or like constraint. And so that's the idea is the goal is to eliminate all the constraints to create momentum so that you get that that money coming in and everybody should be focused on that goal because it's very easy to get caught up and like he could be super caught up and I'm gonna make the cars run hyper effective and efficiently but   Maybe that just causes more financial spend or maybe that doesn't help them sell more flowers, for example. And so when everybody understands the overall goal and how they fit into that puzzle, then instead of just focusing on, I did my job or I'm doing this, they're focused on, is this helping the goal? And so I love that. I love that idea. And I think that's super important to get everybody on the team to focus on. Cause a lot of times everything's siloed. They focus on their little department.   They focus on their little role and they forget the overall goal of the company is to make money. Right. So even like your property managers, your leasing agents, your operator, like everybody who's on what I would call like back end, they have the same job, which is to get more properties to manage. So even if you're not in sales, it doesn't matter. Salespeople, it's very obvious the connection.   It's like, yeah, so close more contracts and close more deals and then I have more properties, duh. Great, but how does that apply to your leasing agent? How does that apply to your property manager? How does that apply to your receptionist who's answering the phone? How does that apply to your AI tool? So everybody and everything is aligned with the one goal of the business, which is I don't care what we do unless...   we sell more flowers. I don't care what we do. don't care. There is no point in changing the tires if it doesn't help us sell more flowers. Right? So I don't need to hear just for that thing. If we don't sell more flowers, I don't need to change the tires. So they've got to be connected. And that was a great example of how somebody even so far removed from the back end of the business. He's like,   Back end of the back end is the mechanic. And he's still focused on top-lingle. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, if you talk to your team and you ask them, what are you doing? And you had to sign up the set, like, you know, get more property management clients. A lot of you aren't focused on that. A lot of them are like, well, I'm just talking to every tenant all the time. I'm talking to every owner all the time. Is that helping the goal of you getting more clients? No, a lot of things aren't.   Is it helping keep clients? Cool. That is part of getting more clients, is keeping the clients. But yeah, if it's not related to keeping clients or getting more clients, managing more properties, then there's a lot of bloat and a lot of waste in property management companies. We see it all the time. So much. Yeah. And we're really good at helping you see it. So if you want to make more money and you've got a decent number of doors, you've got 200 plus doors, come talk to us.   Our program will be paid for, but probably just the first stuff we help you with in the first month. It's a no-brainer. Okay. Okay, then I'll close it out with this. Okay. He said, as a quote, don't chase money, chase excellence, because excellence follows money. I like it. Yeah, right? It's okay. Because a lot of that's people want. They're like, I just want to make enough money. I want to make more money. It won't matter if you're not excellent at what you do. Yeah.   Yeah, well cool. Well, those of you listening, if you have felt stuck, stagnant, want to take your property management business to the next level, reach out to us at doorgrow.com. Also join our free Facebook community just for property management business owners at doorgrowclub.com. And if you want tips, tricks, ideas to learn about and to learn about our offers in DoorGrow, subscribe to our newsletter by going to doorgrow.com slash subscribe. And if you found this even a little bit helpful,   Don't forget to subscribe and leave us a review on whatever channel you found this on. We'd really appreciate it. And until next time, remember, the slowest path to growth is to do it alone. So let's grow together. Bye everyone.  

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Hosts: Dr. Ashlee Gethner, LCSW – Child of a Police Officer Jennifer Woosley Saylor, LPCC S – Child of a Police Officer Guest: Mike Mudd - USAF Veteran, Retired Paramedic Captain, & Realtor® In this powerful and candid episode, Ashlee and Jennifer are joined by Mike Mudd, a Louisville-based realtor, former paramedic, and USAF veteran. Mike reveals his journey through 25 years in EMS, the emotional toll of responding to critical incidents, and the struggles first responders face in accessing mental health support. With raw honesty, he shares personal stories of trauma, resilience, and the importance of recognizing and caring for the people behind the uniform. Key Discussion Points: Mike’s Career Journey - Started as a dispatcher; worked up to EMT and then paramedic and Captain in Louisville EMS service.Transitioned to real estate after reaching burnout in EMS. Childhood Influences - Grew up in a split family with a police officer stepfather. Discussed Mike's childhood fascination with sirens, lights, and law enforcement. Reality of EMS Work - Describing the unpredictability and independence required in EMS. Mike shares stories of traumatic calls, the emotional aftermath, and the lack of support systems during his tenure. Highlighting the emotional toll, including PTSD and worst-case scenario thinking. Mental Health & Support - Mike discusses the lack of formal debriefing or mental health resources for EMS crews during his career. Makes a strong case for mandatory mental health checkups for first responders following major incidents and talks openly about the effects of trauma on personal relationships and daily life. Leadership & Recognition - Reflection on management challenges and the importance of leadership that sees and supports its people. The group advocates for more recognition and appreciation for EMS, dispatchers, and corrections staff. Mike suggests that small gestures of affirmation (even a $2 ribbon) can drive morale and healing. Family & Grief - Mike shares how his family's background in law enforcement shaped his worldview and relationships, with talks about coping with the loss of loved ones and choosing to live joyfully as a tribute to those lost. Humor & Coping Mechanisms - Mike explains how humor, pranks, and camaraderie help crews decompress from the harsh reality of first responder work. He emphasizes the importance of healthy ways to release stress, sometimes misunderstood by the outside world.   Want to get in touch with Mike? 

I looked at those images yesterday of the demolition of the White House and I got the same pit in my stomach I got when I watched on TV the attack on the Capitol on January 6th. It felt like a desecration. It was personal. The White House isn't his. It's ours. And he's destroying it on his own because his enablers are allowing him to. Makes me so sad. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to episode 327 of The Cloud Pod, where the forecast is always cloudy! Justin, Matt, and Ryan are here to bring you all the latest news (and a few rants) in the worlds of Cloud and AI. I'm sure all our readers are aware of the AWS outage last week, as it was in all the news everywhere. But we've also got some new AI models (including Sora in case you're low on really crappy videos the youths might like), plus EKS, Kubernetes, Vertex AI, and more. Let's get started!  Titles we almost went with this week Oracle and Azure Walk Into a Cloud Bar: Nobody Gets ETL’d When DNS Goes Down, So Does Your Monday: AWS Takes Half the Internet on a Coffee Break 404 Cloud Not Found: AWS Proves Even the Internet’s Phone Book Can Get Lost DNS: Definitely Not Staffed – How AWS Lost Its Way When It Lost Its People When Larry Met Satya: A Cloud Love Story Azure Finally Answers ‘Dude, Where’s My Data?’ with Storage Discovery Breaking: Microsoft Discovers AI Training Uses More Power Than a Small Country 404 Engineers Not Found – AWS Learns the Hard Way That People Are Its Most Critical Infrastructure Azure Storage Discovery: Finding Your Data Needles in the Cloud Haystack EKS Auto Mode: Because Even Your Clusters Deserve Cruise Control Azure Gets Reel: Microsoft Adds Video Generation to AI Foundry The Great Token Heist: Vertex AI Steals 90% Off Your Gemini Bills Cache Me If You Can: Vertex AI’s Token-Saving Feature IaC Just Got a Manager – And It’s Not Your Boss  From Musk to Microsoft: Grok 4 Makes the Great Cloud Migration No Harness.. You are not going to make IACM happen Microsoft Drafts a Solution to Container Creation Chaos PowerShell to the People: Azure Simplifies the Great Gateway Migration IP There Yet? Azure’s Scripts Keep Your Address While You Upgrade Follow Up 00:53 Glacier Deprecation Email Standalone Amazon Glacier service (vault-based with separate APIs) will stop accepting new customers as of December 15, 2025.  S3 Glacier storage classes (Instant Retrieval, Flexible Retrieval, Deep Archive) are completely unaffected and continue normally Existing Glacier customers can keep using it forever – no forced migration required.  AWS is essentially consolidating around S3 as the unified storage platform, rather than maintaining two separate archival services. The standalone service will enter maintenance mode, meaning there will be no new features, but the service will remain operational. Migration to S3 Glacier is optional but recommended for better integration, lower costs, and more features. (Justin assures us it is actually slightly cheaper, so there's that.)  General News  02:24

Send us a textTHIS EPISODE IS SPONSORED BY....Me!If you're someone who's looking to start OR scale your detailing business to $10k+/month, I've got a coaching program where I can personally help you achieve your goals:(i also have a course, community & booking software coming soon!)Work 1:1 with me & make $10k+/month with detailingClick Here (FREE CALL) https://calendly.com/caninecarcare/coaching-introductory-call?month=2025-10If you live in Victoria, come join us at our Social Club: https://www.instagram.com/victoria.builds/Also, if you're a detailer, you NEED to know about GoClean...We use their "Heavy Duty Spot Cleaner" for at least 75-80% of the job & buy the 20L bottle of concentrate (which lasts us MINIMUM 7 months), helping us save $1000+ each month on fancy products & MAKES us $1000s per month from people who only choose us because we use pet-safe & non-toxic products.Check them out here: goclean.ca & use code SG10 at checkout for 10% off.Give me a follow on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/realsamg/My YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@sammygams/videosSupport the show

Welcome to "Dishing with Stephanie's Dish." In this episode, Stephanie sits down with Emily Maxson—two time cookbook author, chef, and the creative mind behind @EmilysFreshKitchen. Emily shares her personal health journey, navigating Crohn's disease through diet and lifestyle changes, and how that experience fueled her passion for approachable, healthy, and delicious recipes for everyone. Her New Book, “Real Food Every Day” (ships October 21) is a follow up to “Emilys Fresh Kitchen.”With real talk about creating cookbooks, food photography, adapting to dietary needs, and the ups and downs of life as a food creator, this episode is for home cooks, entertainers, and anyone curious about the connections between food, health, and community. Stephanie's Dish Newsletter is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Emily mentioned two influential books in the Podcast from her food journey:"Breaking the Vicious Cycle" by Elaine Gottschall"Against All Grain" by Danielle WalkerEmily shared her recipe for Roasted Carrot and Miso Butter Soup from the “Real Food Every Day” cookbook that is available now for pre-order.Roasted Carrot and Miso Butter SoupGluten-Free, Grain-Free (Adaptable for Dairy-Free and Vegan)PREP 10 minutes COOK 60 minutes TOTAL 70 minutes SERVES 6Roasted Carrot and Miso Butter Soup is one of my favorite soups to make in the winter. It warms you up and is very satisfying. The recipe calls for simple ingredients that produce layers of flavor. The Miso butter adds another depth of flavor and is worth the extra step, but the soup is still delicious without it.To adapt for dairy-free and vegan, use miso butter made with vegan butter.INGREDIENTS:* 2 pounds carrots* 4 Tablespoons olive oil, divided* 2 cups diced yellow onion* 2 Tablespoons minced garlic* 2 Tablespoons grated ginger* 2 teaspoons sea salt* 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper* 7-8 cups vegetable broth* 2 Tablespoons fresh lime juice* 2 Tablespoons Miso ButterDIRECTIONS:1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.2. Scrub the carrots and cut them into large chunks, removing the tops.3. Place the carrots on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.4. Coat the carrot pieces in 1 Tablespoon of olive oil.5. Roast the carrots for 45-60 minutes or until tender.6. Meanwhile, heat 3 Tablespoons of olive oil in a large pot over medium-high heat.7. Add the onions and cook until they are translucent, about 10 minutes.8. Add the garlic, ginger, salt and cayenne pepper and sauté for an additional 3 minutes.9. Add the roasted carrots and 7 cups of broth.10. Cook for an additional 2 minutes.11. Remove from heat and ladle into a blender.12. Blend the soup until smooth.13. Wipe out the pot and pour in the blended soup.14. Return the soup to the stove over medium heat, adding additional stock to achieve desired consistency.15. Whisk in the lime juice and miso butter.16. Adjust seasoning if needed and serve.17. Top with additional miso butter if desired.Miso ButterGluten-Free, Grain-Free (Adaptable for Dairy-Free and Vegan)PREP 5 minutes COOK 0 minutes TOTAL 5 minutes MAKES about 1/2 cupMiso Butter is made with only two ingredients:butter and miso paste. This compound butter is so versatile. You can add it to fish, chicken, steak, vegetables and potatoes. I add it to my roasted carrot soup on page_ and it adds another depth of flavor. Miso Butter is one of my favorite condiments to keep on hand.To adapt for dairy-free or vegan, use vegan butter.INGREDIENTS:* 8 Tablespoons butter, softened* 3 Tablespoons white miso pasteInstructions:Place the softened butter and miso paste in a small bowl.Using a hand blender or fork, cream the butter and miso paste together until smooth.Store covered in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.Transcript Episode Follows:Stephanie [00:00:00]:Hello, everybody, and welcome to Dishing with Stephanie's Dish, the podcast where we talk to people in the food space. And today I'm talking with another Minnesota favorite, Emily Maxson. She is the author of Emily's Fresh Kitchen. And you have a second book coming out that is Emily's real food every day, similar to Emily's Fresh Kitchen, but more goodness, more healthy for you recipes. Emily Maxson, welcome to the show.Emily Maxson [00:00:31]:Thank you, Stephanie. Thanks so much for having me.Stephanie [00:00:34]:So when we first started talking, you had your first book, and you and I were on a similar publishing schedule. And that book, your book did super well, I think, of self published cookbooks because you worked with publisher, my friend Chris Olsen. I think that you sold, like, way more than a lot of cookbook authors do.Emily Maxson [00:00:57]:I did sell quite a few, and I'm very grateful for that. I had built a pretty good online community, and I think a lot of people resonated with my health story of healing through diet from Crohn's. So I think that helped with sales.Stephanie [00:01:13]:I think too, the thing about your book that I loved so much was you get a lot of diet books or health books that come across the way in the business that I'm in. But yours felt very much like a real cookbook, like real food, real approachable, a way that you could heal your gut and the way that you could eat healthier, but also with, like, regular foods, not with, like weird supplements. And also the recipes were just delicious. Like you could feed them to your whole family, not just be making separate things for yourself. Does that make sense?Emily Maxson [00:01:53]:Yeah. Well, yes. Thank you. That is a huge compliment because that is my goal with both books. Just to make healthier food that's very approachable, very easy, and just to taste good and that you don't know you're eating something that is gluten free or dairy free, and it tastes the same as a traditional version of that recipe.Stephanie [00:02:13]:So can you talk a little bit about your health, about your health journey, how book one started, and then obviously you had more to say with book two.Emily Maxson [00:02:23]:Yeah. So my health journey, I was in my late 20s and I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease through severe abdominal pain. Had thought they thought I had appendicitis. Was rushed into the hospital for surgery. They found out I had diseased intestines and removed part of my small and large intestine. Diagnosed with Crohn's disease. So I spent about 10 years in and out of the hospital on lots of different medications. And then I approached it differently through diet and lifestyle changes.Emily Maxson [00:02:57]:And learned about a diet called the specific carbohydrate diet. And that is a diet where you eliminate you, you eliminate disaccharides and polysaccharides. It gets to the chemical structure of food. So basically you can only have monosaccharid because they're the easiest to absorb in your intestines. So meat, fish, nuts, seeds, vegetables, fruit. No starches, no grains, no lactose. The only sugar I could have was honey or fruit. So I followed that.Emily Maxson [00:03:32]:The theory is if you follow that for one to two years, you can reset your gut. And that's what I did. And fortunately for me, I was able to totally reset it after 18 months of following really strict program. And then now I can eat things that weren't allowed then. Like I can go out and have pizza. And it's not, it doesn't upset me and, but I mostly try to cook the similarly to the way I was on that diet at home so that I can enjoy things in restaurants and have treats and things like that.Stephanie [00:04:07]:And so that someone could use your book to follow to try and heal their own guts, as it were.Emily Maxson [00:04:13]:Absolutely. I have a lot of recipes that follow that diet and they're all labeled if it's specific carbohydrate, if it's vegan, if it's grain free or paleo. And I also recommend the book if somebody wants to try to do that. The Specific Carbohydrate Diet by Elaine Gottschel. That is the book that got me started and she outlines everything.Stephanie [00:04:36]:Okay, I'll make sure to include that link in the show notes. One other way I think that your book has been helpful for me is when I'm entertaining and I have someone that's coming with a certain dietary restriction. It just, I don't know when more dietary restrictions became on my radar or in the zeitgeist. But you know, I've been entertaining a long time and now it's customary to ask people like do you have any dietary restrictions? And when you ask, people always do. And if I'm stumped or I don't know, like, oh, what can I do here? Like one time I had a cocktail party that I was having and we had a gluten free, a dairy free, a vegan, someone that was allergic to nuts. Like it was really a long exhausted list where I was like, oh my gosh, what's left to cook?Emily Maxson [00:05:32]:Yes, I can relate to that. It is it all. It seems like in every family or every friend group there's one or two people with dietary restrictions. And I don't know if it's just that we know more today or our food has changed or what. What it is, but that's definitely very common. So it is helpful to have something at your fingertips to look through and find something that would hopefully fit all those.Stephanie [00:05:59]:I think it's a combination almost of both. Like, we do know more about our food, and that's great. But also, you know, since the 70s, they've been putting a lot more processed food chemicals into our food. There's no, you know, it doesn't take a rocket scientist, I don't think, to like, correlate the rise of obesity and the rise of the packaged food industry and what people have been putting in our foods. And now you can see with Ozempic, you know, that 7 to 10% of the population are on GLP1 medications. And we're seeing that the packaged food industry is having to change again. And. And obviously recessionary thoughts, tariff pricing.Stephanie [00:06:42]:We're seeing product sizes shrink, too. It's interesting that I'm just. I've. I do a lot of work and hear a lot about restaurant culture because of the radio show that I do. And there's now like a whole subset of restaurants that are making like, mini versions of things so that people that are on medications and not eating as much can still enjoy coming to their restaurant and have something for them. It's so crazy how food becomes so fashionable and trendy.Emily Maxson [00:07:11]:I know that. I agree with you and I agree with the processed food and that impacting our health. And that's part of my second book, Real Food Every Day, where I talk about the difference between processed and unprocessed food. And, you know, it's great the. The things that we can do today, the. But we also are hurting a lot of our food, stripping it of nutrients and adding chemicals that are causing damage to our health, our microbiome and things.Stephanie [00:07:43]:I think too, one thing about your book that I really enjoyed and I'm a huge fan. Can you tell it also isn't hard, like, if you're not. I think sometimes if you're not a cook or you don't cook a lot, you feel like certain books are intimidating. Your book is very approachable, and that is something that was important to me with mine. Like, I'm not a fussy cook. I'm not a fancy cook. Your book feels really like I can make all the recipes in it. And it's not like weekend project cooking, which has its place you know, sometimes it's fun to do a recipe that takes two or three days and you're gonna have a special event, but for the most part when you're eating, you just like want something.Stephanie [00:08:25]:And the reason I think that people eat poorly is a lot of times due to convenience and just speed of our lives.Emily Maxson [00:08:32]:I agree. And that's why the majority of the recipes are very simple. Simple ingredients, easy to prepare. I joke that because I did go to culinary school, I am a chef, but I say I'm a chef turned home cook. I keep it nice and simple, focus on whole foods, real ingredients, and doesn't have to be complicated to make good.Stephanie [00:08:54]:Your food in the book is so beautiful. And you have a really close relationship with the person who photographs your books. And I'm assuming she's doing a lot of your edit, editing, video work too. Do you want to talk about Baylin a little bit?Emily Maxson [00:09:08]:Yes. Balin Fleming B Photography. She is phenomenal. I've worked with her for seven plus years now. She's just one of the most talented creatives I know. She takes all the beautiful photographs in both of the books. And when we've worked together, we have so much fun. She's great to collaborate with.Emily Maxson [00:09:32]:She has lots of great ideas and how to style the food. She always loves to hear the story behind the food and that just helps set the stage. Stage. We. I'm very grateful. It's been such a blessing in my life to have that relationship with her because as you know, Stephanie, writing your books, when you write a book, it's a very, it's a very lonely solo mission, other than maybe your husband's, your taste tester or your kids, but otherwise, you know, you're not working with a lot of other people on it. So to have a photographer who I have a close relationship with, who's really talented is great because I can bounce my ideas off of her and it doesn't feel so like such an isolating project.Stephanie [00:10:14]:You. I think that's a really good point. And I think that a lot of my extroverted activities, like I always look super busy and I always look like I'm doing a million things. And of course I am, but so is everybody else. Right? The, the actual process of making food and creating recipes and writing a substack and posting beautiful pictures, like, it's all very solitary and it is kind of lonely. And when you kind of do the entertaining piece, it feels like, oh, it's so nice to share that because a lot of times you're Just running from house to house trying to give them food to get it out of your kitchen.Emily Maxson [00:10:55]:Yes, yes, definitely. I agree.Stephanie [00:10:58]:When you think about this career, because it's a later in life career for you. Later in life career for me. Are you glad you landed on it? Has it been joyful?Emily Maxson [00:11:09]:Yes, definitely, it has been joyful. I, yes, I have really enjoyed it. There have been hard times, writer's block, lack of creativity, but it always comes again and I'm really enjoying it. It's so fun to have this new thing later in life because I think when you're younger, you think, these are the years I've got to get it all in and think of, you know, for me, I'm 55. That's old. Well, you know, it isn't. I don't feel old. And there's still so much more to do.Stephanie [00:11:41]:Yeah. What has been the thing you hate the most about this journey?Emily Maxson [00:11:46]:Oh, that's a great question. I think sometimes I have a hard time with the writing of the non recipe content or like, how to put. Put my thoughts into words. I have this information that I really want to share with and it's finding the right words to say it.Stephanie [00:12:08]:And it is like, if you think about a cookbook, the way that I think the best cookbooks work is there's a narrative, there's a through line. So if your through line is this health journey and starts with health, then, you know, how do you make that not boring? How do you turn that into a story? How do you make that feel personal to you but yet relatable to someone else? And then like, sometimes, let's just be honest, I'm staring at a recipe, I've made the recipe, I like the recipe, I like the pictures. It's all coming together. And then I have to write like a head note. Like, how many times can you say, you know, grandma's sugar cookies are the best sugar cookies in the world, made with real butter. And like, I just don't even have the words to get you excited about this thing. And then you have to still come up with it and then a story to go with it. And it can be just challenging to find the words.Emily Maxson [00:13:04]:I, I agree. That is my biggest struggle too. And like, how many times can I say simple to make, so delicious family and yeah, how, how can you reword that and how can you. Yeah, I know, I agree. I struggle with that as well.Stephanie [00:13:23]:When you think about the actual making of the recipes, like, how many times do you test each one and is it always the Same because for me it's not. Sometimes I'll make something once and be like, this is great, I love it. I know it's going to work. I make something like it all the time. Let's just be done.Emily Maxson [00:13:41]:Yeah, I have a handful of those. But then I get concerned like, oh no, this is, this is how I do it. I want to make sure that I've got it written out clearly for somebody else to do it because I'll have, I've had in the past, people say, when I'll make something, just somebody be over, well, tell me what you did with that and I'll send them the recipe. They'll be like, it didn't turn out like yours. So I want to make sure. So I would say I on average make a recipe three or four times. And it depends. There are a handful where I just do one like, oh my gosh, this is, this is spot on.Emily Maxson [00:14:20]:And it's simple enough. That you know, But a lot of them are things I make regularly at home anyway. So I am just cooking. Well just for my husband now or when my kids are home.Stephanie [00:14:32]:Right. When you, when you go back, like, have you had any recipes where there's been an error or like the way you wrote it isn't the way that someone else experience it and it's in the book and you're stuck and you're like, oh, oh, shoot.Emily Maxson [00:14:48]:I, I taught a cooking class at the Fox and Pantry, a holiday cooking class. And it was one of my newer recipes. And I did these molasses grain free molasses cookies for dessert. And I had baked them ahead of time to serve as dessert. I was demonstrating other recipes and then I gave the, the, the people in the class the recipes and I had a woman email me and say, I made your molasses cookies. And they didn't turn out at all like that. And I just panicked. And so I went to make them again.Emily Maxson [00:15:17]:I said, let me get into it, I will get back to you. And I made them. And I think I, I forget what it was off the top of my head, but I had one of the measurements incorrect. Like a third of a cup instead of two thirds or a quarter instead of three quarters. And so I was able to correct it and email her back like, so sorry, this is what the mistake was. I haven't found one in my book yet. There's always mistakes, but that was good. I'm glad that I got that corrected because that is in my new book.Emily Maxson [00:15:47]:So I'm glad that she tested it out.Stephanie [00:15:50]:It's funny, too, because I just cooked something from my first book that's now, I guess, three years old. And I'm at my cabin, and I had a bunch of tomatoes, and I was like, oh, I'm gonna make the tomato pie here. And I have a really bad oven at the cabin. It's a new stove, but it's just. It's beyond terrible. So I'm, like, looking at the instructions, and it says to cook it for 30 minutes. I ended up cooking something for 50 minutes. And I don't know, like, I think it's my terrible oven that's 75 degrees off.Stephanie [00:16:22]:But I was just like, oh, gosh, you know, I hope it isn't the recipe itself, because when I've made it at home, like, it worked fine. But also, like, that's weird, too, when you're calibrating different ovens or you're cooking different places or in stoves you're not familiar with, it's just like. That's why when you see, like, 20 to 25 minutes on a baking time, it used to bug me, but now I'm like, oh, I get why there's that range.Emily Maxson [00:16:47]:Yeah. I mean, it's bound to happen. You test the recipe multiple times. You have a. You have a copy editor. You proofread it multiple, multiple times. There's always. I've heard this from writers.Emily Maxson [00:16:58]:There's always going to be an error.Stephanie [00:17:00]:And there's like, my husband's a fiction writer, so there's always pages that there's a spelling error or a pronoun that's used incorrectly. So I guess that's just part of the. Part of the journey. So you have the cookbooks, have you, like, let's talk about the whole creator, Emily Maxson. Like, are you doing, like, substacks? Are you doing cooking clubs? Are you really leaning into all these other ways of monetizing your brand now that you are on your second book?Emily Maxson [00:17:31]:Current? I mean, I am not. I have my website and I post recipes there and tips and things there and social media, but I have not tapped into the substack or other things yet to generate revenue. I also help with our. We have a fireplace manufacturing company, and I do some work with my husband there, so I haven't had put as much time into that. But I. There are. There are products I'd like to recreate and do more with it, but I'm not yet. I have a few ideas, but.Stephanie [00:18:09]:Yeah, because I imagine with this health angle, like, there's ways to really get more into that and to help people on that journey, do nutritional or health coaching or, you know, meal plans if you're on specific type of restrictions or. I would imagine that there's a lot of gold to mine there, should you decide to. But do you feel pressured by that? Like, because, I mean, for a lot of us, this starts as a side hustle, and then it, like, becomes your thing. And, you know, groceries are expensive. It's not producing a lot of revenue. Usually people make money from books, but it's usually the second, third, and fourth books, not the first.Emily Maxson [00:18:53]:Fingers crossed on the second.Stephanie [00:18:56]:Yes.Emily Maxson [00:18:56]:But I know there is a little pressure because, honestly, I love creating recipes. I mean, I like that part of it, and I think the meal planning with dietary restrictions would be a good avenue for me. But, yeah, there is a little pressure for that. And with the other things going on in my life, sometimes I think, I don't know if I can do it, but if. Hopefully there'll be a window that will open up.Stephanie [00:19:23]:Are you a. Like, type A, where you're only going to do it if you can do it to the maximum degree of wanting to do it, or are you, like, more like me, where you'll do everything and it all might be just a little sloppy, but you'll just put as much work out there as you can.Emily Maxson [00:19:40]:I would say more type A. Yeah.Stephanie [00:19:42]:I. I wish I was more like that because I think I would be more refined in all the offerings that I have. But I get so excited about so many different things. I'm just like, oh, yeah, let's do this. Oh, yeah, let's do that.Emily Maxson [00:19:55]:But I love that about you. I love your approach. I love seeing you everywhere and all the things that you do and you're so casual about it, and just you. You produce good products, and people are like, yeah, I can do that. I think that's awesome, the way you approach it.Stephanie [00:20:10]:Thanks. Because I would say casual is how I showed up for the podcast today, because I'm at my cabin. I don't. My husband basically lives up here in the summertime, and I'm doing reverse commuting because of filming of the show. And I literally have, like, there's one day off a week that I have, and it's Sundays. And so, like, when I'm up here, like, okay, I have to do this podcast. I used to do audio only, and then everybody wanted video, so I'm like, okay, fine, I'm gonna video it, but I'm gonna have dirty hair, and I'm not Gonna put lipstick stick on. And it kind of just is what it is because I also want to live the quality of life that I want to live.Stephanie [00:20:49]:That feels good to me, and it's honest and it's authentic to a fault, probably because, you know, sometimes the dog will bark in the background, even when we're doing the TV show. Like, I don't know, and never say never. But that TV show that we do came sort of by accident, and it happens in my kitchen. It's my real life. My dog barks. My husband runs to the bathroom in the background. I don't know if I know how to do things any other way. I'm just not that good at being that polished, I guess.Emily Maxson [00:21:24]:I think people love real life. That's why, I mean, keeping it real. It's very approachable, and that's why reality TV is so popular. People want to see. Yeah. How people are really living and how people are doing and hear the dog bark in the background, because that's what's happening in their homes.Stephanie [00:21:42]:We can be real. The real cookbook writers of the Twin Cities. Wouldn't that be funny?Emily Maxson [00:21:47]:Yes. I love it.Stephanie [00:21:48]:Okay. Another weird thing that I discovered, and I'm curious if this for you. Like, I cook a lot. I just. I do. I cook a lot. I cook a lot for my family. I'm cooking for the shows.Stephanie [00:21:59]:I'm cooking for tv. I'm doing all this cooking, but I really have anxiety about cooking in front of people. And you would think that, like, TV would be people, but it's not. It's two camera people who are my friends now, and there's no anxiety about cooking in front of them. But, like, when I'm going, like, people want me to do cooking classes, and they want me to do all this cooking in front of them, and I'm realizing it really causes me a lot of stress, and I don't love it, and it doesn't give me joy. I have so much anxiety. I wake up in the middle of the night before the class, wondering. I don't.Stephanie [00:22:36]:I'm not a professionally trained cook. I'm not a chef. I didn't go to cooking school. So I feel like people are going to be looking to me for answers to things that I have no business giving. I have so much impostor syndrome around the actual cooking, and yet I have this whole life that's building up around this being a cook. Do you have any of that?Emily Maxson [00:22:58]:Definitely. I have the same thing. I don't. I get nervous. I get anxious about Cooking in front of people. Even when I'm on TV shows where it is just a couple cameras, I still am. I still get nervous, and I think it is that pressure. You want to give people the right information.Emily Maxson [00:23:16]:And I did go to culinary school. It was a long, long time ago, and I still have imposter syndrome. Like, what do I know? Yeah, but. But this is how I do it. And you share it with people and. But I do. I get that as well.Stephanie [00:23:30]:Yeah. And then people will be like, well, I know I have terrible knife skills. Do you have good knife skills?Emily Maxson [00:23:35]:I don't think so. I mean, I know what to do. I mean, sometimes I look at the pictures of my chopped up cilantro, and I'm like, ooh, a chef would look at that and say, that's not so good.Stephanie [00:23:45]:Yeah. And, like, you know when you're making, like, a mirepoix, and it's all like, my carrots are 16 different sizes instead of just, like, unifor and batons. Right. So I took. I actually took a class, and I did learn a lot, but I'm finding now that I'm not good at staying with it or practicing it because it requires, like, practice. Right. And if you were in a classroom setting or being judged on it, you would keep going. And now I'm just like, oh, I know I'm supposed to hold my hand this way, but I really got to get these carrots chopped.Emily Maxson [00:24:17]:Exactly. Yeah.Stephanie [00:24:19]:So it's kind of funny. Are there people that inspire you that are in the cookbook or the cooking space?Emily Maxson [00:24:27]:Oh, that's a great question. I mean, there's a lot of great cookbook authors out there.Stephanie [00:24:33]:You.Emily Maxson [00:24:33]:You're an excellent author. I love your book. I ordered your second one. I'm excited to get that. I mean, I remember early on, early in my culinary career, I just had so much respect for Jamie Oliver, the Naked Chef, because he was just so different than everybody else. And I still have a lot of respect for him. And he's put out a ton of.Stephanie [00:25:03]:And he's changing too, which I also love. Like, you know, he went from. He's just. He's evolved, I think, as a chef, and he's really gotten more to the space where I think he's feeling the most comfortable in his skin, too, in his own kitchen, cooking for his own family. He's a very rustic cook, actually, versus, like, when you see him doing more of the chefy things that he started with. I just. I really like him too, and I like how much he simplifies. Things.Emily Maxson [00:25:33]:Yeah, he's insanely talented, but he brings it down to our level and I appreciate that. It's, it's. He. He's very approachable and just real. So, yeah, I really like him a lot. He's good. And Danielle Walker, who wrote Against All Grain, she has, I don't know, maybe five books out now. She was.Emily Maxson [00:25:54]:Her first book, I remember getting that. And I had done the specific carbohydrate diet and was writing my own recipes and doing some blogging, and that was the first book that I was like, you know what? I could do this. And so I think she's been inspiring to me because a similar health journey and did it. And I was the one person who I was like, okay, I think I can do this.Stephanie [00:26:16]:So you know what would be cool? Not that you need more ideas, but I'm going to give you one because that's how I think it would. Like there. There's a woman, her name's Carolyn Chambers, and she's a cookbook writer and she's a family cook. We'll say, like, lots of variety. And the thing that she does that really resonates with people is she has all the substitutions in a recipe. So, like, she'll make a rice salad, but she'll give you all the different grains you could substitute for the rice. And if you can't have rice vinegar, there's the five other vinegars you could use. One thing that would be cool, that I would love to see is if you, like, took a recipe that you liked and you made it so that it could be healthier or in a way that more people could enjoy it.Stephanie [00:27:00]:So, like, my recipe book, for instance, is not at all diet, not at all. It's. It's whole, it's regular ingredients, it's not weird stuff. But, like, I think that could be a real interesting thing to follow for you.Emily Maxson [00:27:16]:I have done that with some recipes. Like in my Real food, every day, I have my strawberry shortcake recipe, which is grain free, which I loved growing up. My mom would make the Bisquick. Yes, Strawberry shortcakes, and I loved. It was the perfect balance of sweet and savory. It's a little salty. And so I wanted to re. I mean, that was a recipe I did multiple times to try to recreate that, so things like that.Emily Maxson [00:27:41]:But I love your idea. I could just cook through a book and try to do a version that would fit the different dietary guidelines.Stephanie [00:27:49]:Yeah. Or even just picking different recipes from different books and like filming that, like here's because when you have a cookbook that you like or when you're looking for inspiration, you probably pull out this recipe and you look at it and you think, oh, I have these six things. I don't have these three. You know, and especially I think about this because I'm at the cabin a lot, and I. It's 20 minutes to get to a store and a boat ride and a car ride, and it's complicated. So I will want to make something, but I'll have to really improvise a lot of times on the exact ingredients and figure out how I'm going to get it all to go. So I think that could be really interesting and also educational for people that are on a dietary journey, that maybe it's new for them and they do know some cooking, but they haven't cooked in the way that is maybe more helpful for them. Yeah, this is a weird thought, too, but I've been spending a lot of time at the cabin, and there's all these people that come and go and they bring all their groceries and then they leave.Stephanie [00:28:49]:And I keep looking at this refrigerator full of food, and I, I, I feel like, oh, I'm gonna have to make dinner here now for the rest of us that are left, but there's not, like, food you can eat. Like, it's so much like processed food and cheese spreads and salsas and condiments and breads that, like, there's just so much food that I actually wouldn't probably eat. And it's fascinating to me how people grocery shop.Emily Maxson [00:29:19]:Yeah. And I suppose too, if they're coming to your cabin as a guest, they're on vacation, so they're eating maybe more treats or processed foods that they eat on a regular basis. So it's their snacks and things like that.Stephanie [00:29:34]:Yes, that's like, what I'm left with. And I'm like, oh, okay, now I have to make a meal. It's a Sunday night. Which is why we make a lot of pizza, because we're using up all those dribs and drabs. And I hate to waste things. So, like, sometimes I have this horrible salsa that tastes like just a sugary mess. I'm like, what am I going to do with this? And I've got tons of vegetables in the garden. I was like, well, I could probably use a cup of it to make a soup.Stephanie [00:29:59]:And if I fortified it enough with vegetables and broth and it wouldn't be so terrible to have this sort of super sweet base. But yeah, that's my life.Emily Maxson [00:30:16]:I like your soup idea. That's a great way to use up the salsa.Stephanie [00:30:20]:All right, so where can people follow you? And how can they get the book?Emily Maxson [00:30:24]:Okay, my website, emily'sfreshkitchen.com the book is on Amazon. It will be in local stores. Five Swans, Gray and Excelsior. The Fox and Pantry, Golden Fig. Yes. So I love it.Stephanie [00:30:42]:Well, thanks for spending time with me. Emily and I will see you around. And maybe we'll do a taste bud episode together. You never know.Emily Maxson [00:30:49]:I'd love it. Thank you. Always good to see you.Stephanie [00:30:51]:Yeah, same. We'll talk soon. Thanks.Emily Maxson [00:30:54]:Bye. Bye.Stephanie's Dish Newsletter is a reader-supported publication. 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Welcome to "Dishing with Stephanie's Dish." In this episode, Stephanie sits down with Emily Maxson—two time cookbook author, chef, and the creative mind behind @EmilysFreshKitchen. Emily shares her personal health journey, navigating Crohn's disease through diet and lifestyle changes, and how that experience fueled her passion for approachable, healthy, and delicious recipes for everyone. Her New Book, “Real Food Every Day” (ships October 21) is a follow up to “Emilys Fresh Kitchen.”With real talk about creating cookbooks, food photography, adapting to dietary needs, and the ups and downs of life as a food creator, this episode is for home cooks, entertainers, and anyone curious about the connections between food, health, and community. Stephanie's Dish Newsletter is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber.Emily mentioned two influential books in the Podcast from her food journey:"Breaking the Vicious Cycle" by Elaine Gottschall"Against All Grain" by Danielle WalkerEmily shared her recipe for Roasted Carrot and Miso Butter Soup from the “Real Food Every Day” cookbook that is available now for pre-order.Roasted Carrot and Miso Butter SoupGluten-Free, Grain-Free (Adaptable for Dairy-Free and Vegan)PREP 10 minutes COOK 60 minutes TOTAL 70 minutes SERVES 6Roasted Carrot and Miso Butter Soup is one of my favorite soups to make in the winter. It warms you up and is very satisfying. The recipe calls for simple ingredients that produce layers of flavor. The Miso butter adds another depth of flavor and is worth the extra step, but the soup is still delicious without it.To adapt for dairy-free and vegan, use miso butter made with vegan butter.INGREDIENTS:* 2 pounds carrots* 4 Tablespoons olive oil, divided* 2 cups diced yellow onion* 2 Tablespoons minced garlic* 2 Tablespoons grated ginger* 2 teaspoons sea salt* 1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper* 7-8 cups vegetable broth* 2 Tablespoons fresh lime juice* 2 Tablespoons Miso ButterDIRECTIONS:1. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.2. Scrub the carrots and cut them into large chunks, removing the tops.3. Place the carrots on a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.4. Coat the carrot pieces in 1 Tablespoon of olive oil.5. Roast the carrots for 45-60 minutes or until tender.6. Meanwhile, heat 3 Tablespoons of olive oil in a large pot over medium-high heat.7. Add the onions and cook until they are translucent, about 10 minutes.8. Add the garlic, ginger, salt and cayenne pepper and sauté for an additional 3 minutes.9. Add the roasted carrots and 7 cups of broth.10. Cook for an additional 2 minutes.11. Remove from heat and ladle into a blender.12. Blend the soup until smooth.13. Wipe out the pot and pour in the blended soup.14. Return the soup to the stove over medium heat, adding additional stock to achieve desired consistency.15. Whisk in the lime juice and miso butter.16. Adjust seasoning if needed and serve.17. Top with additional miso butter if desired.Miso ButterGluten-Free, Grain-Free (Adaptable for Dairy-Free and Vegan)PREP 5 minutes COOK 0 minutes TOTAL 5 minutes MAKES about 1/2 cupMiso Butter is made with only two ingredients:butter and miso paste. This compound butter is so versatile. You can add it to fish, chicken, steak, vegetables and potatoes. I add it to my roasted carrot soup on page_ and it adds another depth of flavor. Miso Butter is one of my favorite condiments to keep on hand.To adapt for dairy-free or vegan, use vegan butter.INGREDIENTS:* 8 Tablespoons butter, softened* 3 Tablespoons white miso pasteInstructions:Place the softened butter and miso paste in a small bowl.Using a hand blender or fork, cream the butter and miso paste together until smooth.Store covered in the refrigerator for up to 2 weeks.Transcript Episode Follows:Stephanie [00:00:00]:Hello, everybody, and welcome to Dishing with Stephanie's Dish, the podcast where we talk to people in the food space. And today I'm talking with another Minnesota favorite, Emily Maxson. She is the author of Emily's Fresh Kitchen. And you have a second book coming out that is Emily's real food every day, similar to Emily's Fresh Kitchen, but more goodness, more healthy for you recipes. Emily Maxson, welcome to the show.Emily Maxson [00:00:31]:Thank you, Stephanie. Thanks so much for having me.Stephanie [00:00:34]:So when we first started talking, you had your first book, and you and I were on a similar publishing schedule. And that book, your book did super well, I think, of self published cookbooks because you worked with publisher, my friend Chris Olsen. I think that you sold, like, way more than a lot of cookbook authors do.Emily Maxson [00:00:57]:I did sell quite a few, and I'm very grateful for that. I had built a pretty good online community, and I think a lot of people resonated with my health story of healing through diet from Crohn's. So I think that helped with sales.Stephanie [00:01:13]:I think too, the thing about your book that I loved so much was you get a lot of diet books or health books that come across the way in the business that I'm in. But yours felt very much like a real cookbook, like real food, real approachable, a way that you could heal your gut and the way that you could eat healthier, but also with, like, regular foods, not with, like weird supplements. And also the recipes were just delicious. Like you could feed them to your whole family, not just be making separate things for yourself. Does that make sense?Emily Maxson [00:01:53]:Yeah. Well, yes. Thank you. That is a huge compliment because that is my goal with both books. Just to make healthier food that's very approachable, very easy, and just to taste good and that you don't know you're eating something that is gluten free or dairy free, and it tastes the same as a traditional version of that recipe.Stephanie [00:02:13]:So can you talk a little bit about your health, about your health journey, how book one started, and then obviously you had more to say with book two.Emily Maxson [00:02:23]:Yeah. So my health journey, I was in my late 20s and I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease through severe abdominal pain. Had thought they thought I had appendicitis. Was rushed into the hospital for surgery. They found out I had diseased intestines and removed part of my small and large intestine. Diagnosed with Crohn's disease. So I spent about 10 years in and out of the hospital on lots of different medications. And then I approached it differently through diet and lifestyle changes.Emily Maxson [00:02:57]:And learned about a diet called the specific carbohydrate diet. And that is a diet where you eliminate you, you eliminate disaccharides and polysaccharides. It gets to the chemical structure of food. So basically you can only have monosaccharid because they're the easiest to absorb in your intestines. So meat, fish, nuts, seeds, vegetables, fruit. No starches, no grains, no lactose. The only sugar I could have was honey or fruit. So I followed that.Emily Maxson [00:03:32]:The theory is if you follow that for one to two years, you can reset your gut. And that's what I did. And fortunately for me, I was able to totally reset it after 18 months of following really strict program. And then now I can eat things that weren't allowed then. Like I can go out and have pizza. And it's not, it doesn't upset me and, but I mostly try to cook the similarly to the way I was on that diet at home so that I can enjoy things in restaurants and have treats and things like that.Stephanie [00:04:07]:And so that someone could use your book to follow to try and heal their own guts, as it were.Emily Maxson [00:04:13]:Absolutely. I have a lot of recipes that follow that diet and they're all labeled if it's specific carbohydrate, if it's vegan, if it's grain free or paleo. And I also recommend the book if somebody wants to try to do that. The Specific Carbohydrate Diet by Elaine Gottschel. That is the book that got me started and she outlines everything.Stephanie [00:04:36]:Okay, I'll make sure to include that link in the show notes. One other way I think that your book has been helpful for me is when I'm entertaining and I have someone that's coming with a certain dietary restriction. It just, I don't know when more dietary restrictions became on my radar or in the zeitgeist. But you know, I've been entertaining a long time and now it's customary to ask people like do you have any dietary restrictions? And when you ask, people always do. And if I'm stumped or I don't know, like, oh, what can I do here? Like one time I had a cocktail party that I was having and we had a gluten free, a dairy free, a vegan, someone that was allergic to nuts. Like it was really a long exhausted list where I was like, oh my gosh, what's left to cook?Emily Maxson [00:05:32]:Yes, I can relate to that. It is it all. It seems like in every family or every friend group there's one or two people with dietary restrictions. And I don't know if it's just that we know more today or our food has changed or what. What it is, but that's definitely very common. So it is helpful to have something at your fingertips to look through and find something that would hopefully fit all those.Stephanie [00:05:59]:I think it's a combination almost of both. Like, we do know more about our food, and that's great. But also, you know, since the 70s, they've been putting a lot more processed food chemicals into our food. There's no, you know, it doesn't take a rocket scientist, I don't think, to like, correlate the rise of obesity and the rise of the packaged food industry and what people have been putting in our foods. And now you can see with Ozempic, you know, that 7 to 10% of the population are on GLP1 medications. And we're seeing that the packaged food industry is having to change again. And. And obviously recessionary thoughts, tariff pricing.Stephanie [00:06:42]:We're seeing product sizes shrink, too. It's interesting that I'm just. I've. I do a lot of work and hear a lot about restaurant culture because of the radio show that I do. And there's now like a whole subset of restaurants that are making like, mini versions of things so that people that are on medications and not eating as much can still enjoy coming to their restaurant and have something for them. It's so crazy how food becomes so fashionable and trendy.Emily Maxson [00:07:11]:I know that. I agree with you and I agree with the processed food and that impacting our health. And that's part of my second book, Real Food Every Day, where I talk about the difference between processed and unprocessed food. And, you know, it's great the. The things that we can do today, the. But we also are hurting a lot of our food, stripping it of nutrients and adding chemicals that are causing damage to our health, our microbiome and things.Stephanie [00:07:43]:I think too, one thing about your book that I really enjoyed and I'm a huge fan. Can you tell it also isn't hard, like, if you're not. I think sometimes if you're not a cook or you don't cook a lot, you feel like certain books are intimidating. Your book is very approachable, and that is something that was important to me with mine. Like, I'm not a fussy cook. I'm not a fancy cook. Your book feels really like I can make all the recipes in it. And it's not like weekend project cooking, which has its place you know, sometimes it's fun to do a recipe that takes two or three days and you're gonna have a special event, but for the most part when you're eating, you just like want something.Stephanie [00:08:25]:And the reason I think that people eat poorly is a lot of times due to convenience and just speed of our lives.Emily Maxson [00:08:32]:I agree. And that's why the majority of the recipes are very simple. Simple ingredients, easy to prepare. I joke that because I did go to culinary school, I am a chef, but I say I'm a chef turned home cook. I keep it nice and simple, focus on whole foods, real ingredients, and doesn't have to be complicated to make good.Stephanie [00:08:54]:Your food in the book is so beautiful. And you have a really close relationship with the person who photographs your books. And I'm assuming she's doing a lot of your edit, editing, video work too. Do you want to talk about Baylin a little bit?Emily Maxson [00:09:08]:Yes. Balin Fleming B Photography. She is phenomenal. I've worked with her for seven plus years now. She's just one of the most talented creatives I know. She takes all the beautiful photographs in both of the books. And when we've worked together, we have so much fun. She's great to collaborate with.Emily Maxson [00:09:32]:She has lots of great ideas and how to style the food. She always loves to hear the story behind the food and that just helps set the stage. Stage. We. I'm very grateful. It's been such a blessing in my life to have that relationship with her because as you know, Stephanie, writing your books, when you write a book, it's a very, it's a very lonely solo mission, other than maybe your husband's, your taste tester or your kids, but otherwise, you know, you're not working with a lot of other people on it. So to have a photographer who I have a close relationship with, who's really talented is great because I can bounce my ideas off of her and it doesn't feel so like such an isolating project.Stephanie [00:10:14]:You. I think that's a really good point. And I think that a lot of my extroverted activities, like I always look super busy and I always look like I'm doing a million things. And of course I am, but so is everybody else. Right? The, the actual process of making food and creating recipes and writing a substack and posting beautiful pictures, like, it's all very solitary and it is kind of lonely. And when you kind of do the entertaining piece, it feels like, oh, it's so nice to share that because a lot of times you're Just running from house to house trying to give them food to get it out of your kitchen.Emily Maxson [00:10:55]:Yes, yes, definitely. I agree.Stephanie [00:10:58]:When you think about this career, because it's a later in life career for you. Later in life career for me. Are you glad you landed on it? Has it been joyful?Emily Maxson [00:11:09]:Yes, definitely, it has been joyful. I, yes, I have really enjoyed it. There have been hard times, writer's block, lack of creativity, but it always comes again and I'm really enjoying it. It's so fun to have this new thing later in life because I think when you're younger, you think, these are the years I've got to get it all in and think of, you know, for me, I'm 55. That's old. Well, you know, it isn't. I don't feel old. And there's still so much more to do.Stephanie [00:11:41]:Yeah. What has been the thing you hate the most about this journey?Emily Maxson [00:11:46]:Oh, that's a great question. I think sometimes I have a hard time with the writing of the non recipe content or like, how to put. Put my thoughts into words. I have this information that I really want to share with and it's finding the right words to say it.Stephanie [00:12:08]:And it is like, if you think about a cookbook, the way that I think the best cookbooks work is there's a narrative, there's a through line. So if your through line is this health journey and starts with health, then, you know, how do you make that not boring? How do you turn that into a story? How do you make that feel personal to you but yet relatable to someone else? And then like, sometimes, let's just be honest, I'm staring at a recipe, I've made the recipe, I like the recipe, I like the pictures. It's all coming together. And then I have to write like a head note. Like, how many times can you say, you know, grandma's sugar cookies are the best sugar cookies in the world, made with real butter. And like, I just don't even have the words to get you excited about this thing. And then you have to still come up with it and then a story to go with it. And it can be just challenging to find the words.Emily Maxson [00:13:04]:I, I agree. That is my biggest struggle too. And like, how many times can I say simple to make, so delicious family and yeah, how, how can you reword that and how can you. Yeah, I know, I agree. I struggle with that as well.Stephanie [00:13:23]:When you think about the actual making of the recipes, like, how many times do you test each one and is it always the Same because for me it's not. Sometimes I'll make something once and be like, this is great, I love it. I know it's going to work. I make something like it all the time. Let's just be done.Emily Maxson [00:13:41]:Yeah, I have a handful of those. But then I get concerned like, oh no, this is, this is how I do it. I want to make sure that I've got it written out clearly for somebody else to do it because I'll have, I've had in the past, people say, when I'll make something, just somebody be over, well, tell me what you did with that and I'll send them the recipe. They'll be like, it didn't turn out like yours. So I want to make sure. So I would say I on average make a recipe three or four times. And it depends. There are a handful where I just do one like, oh my gosh, this is, this is spot on.Emily Maxson [00:14:20]:And it's simple enough. That you know, But a lot of them are things I make regularly at home anyway. So I am just cooking. Well just for my husband now or when my kids are home.Stephanie [00:14:32]:Right. When you, when you go back, like, have you had any recipes where there's been an error or like the way you wrote it isn't the way that someone else experience it and it's in the book and you're stuck and you're like, oh, oh, shoot.Emily Maxson [00:14:48]:I, I taught a cooking class at the Fox and Pantry, a holiday cooking class. And it was one of my newer recipes. And I did these molasses grain free molasses cookies for dessert. And I had baked them ahead of time to serve as dessert. I was demonstrating other recipes and then I gave the, the, the people in the class the recipes and I had a woman email me and say, I made your molasses cookies. And they didn't turn out at all like that. And I just panicked. And so I went to make them again.Emily Maxson [00:15:17]:I said, let me get into it, I will get back to you. And I made them. And I think I, I forget what it was off the top of my head, but I had one of the measurements incorrect. Like a third of a cup instead of two thirds or a quarter instead of three quarters. And so I was able to correct it and email her back like, so sorry, this is what the mistake was. I haven't found one in my book yet. There's always mistakes, but that was good. I'm glad that I got that corrected because that is in my new book.Emily Maxson [00:15:47]:So I'm glad that she tested it out.Stephanie [00:15:50]:It's funny, too, because I just cooked something from my first book that's now, I guess, three years old. And I'm at my cabin, and I had a bunch of tomatoes, and I was like, oh, I'm gonna make the tomato pie here. And I have a really bad oven at the cabin. It's a new stove, but it's just. It's beyond terrible. So I'm, like, looking at the instructions, and it says to cook it for 30 minutes. I ended up cooking something for 50 minutes. And I don't know, like, I think it's my terrible oven that's 75 degrees off.Stephanie [00:16:22]:But I was just like, oh, gosh, you know, I hope it isn't the recipe itself, because when I've made it at home, like, it worked fine. But also, like, that's weird, too, when you're calibrating different ovens or you're cooking different places or in stoves you're not familiar with, it's just like. That's why when you see, like, 20 to 25 minutes on a baking time, it used to bug me, but now I'm like, oh, I get why there's that range.Emily Maxson [00:16:47]:Yeah. I mean, it's bound to happen. You test the recipe multiple times. You have a. You have a copy editor. You proofread it multiple, multiple times. There's always. I've heard this from writers.Emily Maxson [00:16:58]:There's always going to be an error.Stephanie [00:17:00]:And there's like, my husband's a fiction writer, so there's always pages that there's a spelling error or a pronoun that's used incorrectly. So I guess that's just part of the. Part of the journey. So you have the cookbooks, have you, like, let's talk about the whole creator, Emily Maxson. Like, are you doing, like, substacks? Are you doing cooking clubs? Are you really leaning into all these other ways of monetizing your brand now that you are on your second book?Emily Maxson [00:17:31]:Current? I mean, I am not. I have my website and I post recipes there and tips and things there and social media, but I have not tapped into the substack or other things yet to generate revenue. I also help with our. We have a fireplace manufacturing company, and I do some work with my husband there, so I haven't had put as much time into that. But I. There are. There are products I'd like to recreate and do more with it, but I'm not yet. I have a few ideas, but.Stephanie [00:18:09]:Yeah, because I imagine with this health angle, like, there's ways to really get more into that and to help people on that journey, do nutritional or health coaching or, you know, meal plans if you're on specific type of restrictions or. I would imagine that there's a lot of gold to mine there, should you decide to. But do you feel pressured by that? Like, because, I mean, for a lot of us, this starts as a side hustle, and then it, like, becomes your thing. And, you know, groceries are expensive. It's not producing a lot of revenue. Usually people make money from books, but it's usually the second, third, and fourth books, not the first.Emily Maxson [00:18:53]:Fingers crossed on the second.Stephanie [00:18:56]:Yes.Emily Maxson [00:18:56]:But I know there is a little pressure because, honestly, I love creating recipes. I mean, I like that part of it, and I think the meal planning with dietary restrictions would be a good avenue for me. But, yeah, there is a little pressure for that. And with the other things going on in my life, sometimes I think, I don't know if I can do it, but if. Hopefully there'll be a window that will open up.Stephanie [00:19:23]:Are you a. Like, type A, where you're only going to do it if you can do it to the maximum degree of wanting to do it, or are you, like, more like me, where you'll do everything and it all might be just a little sloppy, but you'll just put as much work out there as you can.Emily Maxson [00:19:40]:I would say more type A. Yeah.Stephanie [00:19:42]:I. I wish I was more like that because I think I would be more refined in all the offerings that I have. But I get so excited about so many different things. I'm just like, oh, yeah, let's do this. Oh, yeah, let's do that.Emily Maxson [00:19:55]:But I love that about you. I love your approach. I love seeing you everywhere and all the things that you do and you're so casual about it, and just you. You produce good products, and people are like, yeah, I can do that. I think that's awesome, the way you approach it.Stephanie [00:20:10]:Thanks. Because I would say casual is how I showed up for the podcast today, because I'm at my cabin. I don't. My husband basically lives up here in the summertime, and I'm doing reverse commuting because of filming of the show. And I literally have, like, there's one day off a week that I have, and it's Sundays. And so, like, when I'm up here, like, okay, I have to do this podcast. I used to do audio only, and then everybody wanted video, so I'm like, okay, fine, I'm gonna video it, but I'm gonna have dirty hair, and I'm not Gonna put lipstick stick on. And it kind of just is what it is because I also want to live the quality of life that I want to live.Stephanie [00:20:49]:That feels good to me, and it's honest and it's authentic to a fault, probably because, you know, sometimes the dog will bark in the background, even when we're doing the TV show. Like, I don't know, and never say never. But that TV show that we do came sort of by accident, and it happens in my kitchen. It's my real life. My dog barks. My husband runs to the bathroom in the background. I don't know if I know how to do things any other way. I'm just not that good at being that polished, I guess.Emily Maxson [00:21:24]:I think people love real life. That's why, I mean, keeping it real. It's very approachable, and that's why reality TV is so popular. People want to see. Yeah. How people are really living and how people are doing and hear the dog bark in the background, because that's what's happening in their homes.Stephanie [00:21:42]:We can be real. The real cookbook writers of the Twin Cities. Wouldn't that be funny?Emily Maxson [00:21:47]:Yes. I love it.Stephanie [00:21:48]:Okay. Another weird thing that I discovered, and I'm curious if this for you. Like, I cook a lot. I just. I do. I cook a lot. I cook a lot for my family. I'm cooking for the shows.Stephanie [00:21:59]:I'm cooking for tv. I'm doing all this cooking, but I really have anxiety about cooking in front of people. And you would think that, like, TV would be people, but it's not. It's two camera people who are my friends now, and there's no anxiety about cooking in front of them. But, like, when I'm going, like, people want me to do cooking classes, and they want me to do all this cooking in front of them, and I'm realizing it really causes me a lot of stress, and I don't love it, and it doesn't give me joy. I have so much anxiety. I wake up in the middle of the night before the class, wondering. I don't.Stephanie [00:22:36]:I'm not a professionally trained cook. I'm not a chef. I didn't go to cooking school. So I feel like people are going to be looking to me for answers to things that I have no business giving. I have so much impostor syndrome around the actual cooking, and yet I have this whole life that's building up around this being a cook. Do you have any of that?Emily Maxson [00:22:58]:Definitely. I have the same thing. I don't. I get nervous. I get anxious about Cooking in front of people. Even when I'm on TV shows where it is just a couple cameras, I still am. I still get nervous, and I think it is that pressure. You want to give people the right information.Emily Maxson [00:23:16]:And I did go to culinary school. It was a long, long time ago, and I still have imposter syndrome. Like, what do I know? Yeah, but. But this is how I do it. And you share it with people and. But I do. I get that as well.Stephanie [00:23:30]:Yeah. And then people will be like, well, I know I have terrible knife skills. Do you have good knife skills?Emily Maxson [00:23:35]:I don't think so. I mean, I know what to do. I mean, sometimes I look at the pictures of my chopped up cilantro, and I'm like, ooh, a chef would look at that and say, that's not so good.Stephanie [00:23:45]:Yeah. And, like, you know when you're making, like, a mirepoix, and it's all like, my carrots are 16 different sizes instead of just, like, unifor and batons. Right. So I took. I actually took a class, and I did learn a lot, but I'm finding now that I'm not good at staying with it or practicing it because it requires, like, practice. Right. And if you were in a classroom setting or being judged on it, you would keep going. And now I'm just like, oh, I know I'm supposed to hold my hand this way, but I really got to get these carrots chopped.Emily Maxson [00:24:17]:Exactly. Yeah.Stephanie [00:24:19]:So it's kind of funny. Are there people that inspire you that are in the cookbook or the cooking space?Emily Maxson [00:24:27]:Oh, that's a great question. I mean, there's a lot of great cookbook authors out there.Stephanie [00:24:33]:You.Emily Maxson [00:24:33]:You're an excellent author. I love your book. I ordered your second one. I'm excited to get that. I mean, I remember early on, early in my culinary career, I just had so much respect for Jamie Oliver, the Naked Chef, because he was just so different than everybody else. And I still have a lot of respect for him. And he's put out a ton of.Stephanie [00:25:03]:And he's changing too, which I also love. Like, you know, he went from. He's just. He's evolved, I think, as a chef, and he's really gotten more to the space where I think he's feeling the most comfortable in his skin, too, in his own kitchen, cooking for his own family. He's a very rustic cook, actually, versus, like, when you see him doing more of the chefy things that he started with. I just. I really like him too, and I like how much he simplifies. Things.Emily Maxson [00:25:33]:Yeah, he's insanely talented, but he brings it down to our level and I appreciate that. It's, it's. He. He's very approachable and just real. So, yeah, I really like him a lot. He's good. And Danielle Walker, who wrote Against All Grain, she has, I don't know, maybe five books out now. She was.Emily Maxson [00:25:54]:Her first book, I remember getting that. And I had done the specific carbohydrate diet and was writing my own recipes and doing some blogging, and that was the first book that I was like, you know what? I could do this. And so I think she's been inspiring to me because a similar health journey and did it. And I was the one person who I was like, okay, I think I can do this.Stephanie [00:26:16]:So you know what would be cool? Not that you need more ideas, but I'm going to give you one because that's how I think it would. Like there. There's a woman, her name's Carolyn Chambers, and she's a cookbook writer and she's a family cook. We'll say, like, lots of variety. And the thing that she does that really resonates with people is she has all the substitutions in a recipe. So, like, she'll make a rice salad, but she'll give you all the different grains you could substitute for the rice. And if you can't have rice vinegar, there's the five other vinegars you could use. One thing that would be cool, that I would love to see is if you, like, took a recipe that you liked and you made it so that it could be healthier or in a way that more people could enjoy it.Stephanie [00:27:00]:So, like, my recipe book, for instance, is not at all diet, not at all. It's. It's whole, it's regular ingredients, it's not weird stuff. But, like, I think that could be a real interesting thing to follow for you.Emily Maxson [00:27:16]:I have done that with some recipes. Like in my Real food, every day, I have my strawberry shortcake recipe, which is grain free, which I loved growing up. My mom would make the Bisquick. Yes, Strawberry shortcakes, and I loved. It was the perfect balance of sweet and savory. It's a little salty. And so I wanted to re. I mean, that was a recipe I did multiple times to try to recreate that, so things like that.Emily Maxson [00:27:41]:But I love your idea. I could just cook through a book and try to do a version that would fit the different dietary guidelines.Stephanie [00:27:49]:Yeah. Or even just picking different recipes from different books and like filming that, like here's because when you have a cookbook that you like or when you're looking for inspiration, you probably pull out this recipe and you look at it and you think, oh, I have these six things. I don't have these three. You know, and especially I think about this because I'm at the cabin a lot, and I. It's 20 minutes to get to a store and a boat ride and a car ride, and it's complicated. So I will want to make something, but I'll have to really improvise a lot of times on the exact ingredients and figure out how I'm going to get it all to go. So I think that could be really interesting and also educational for people that are on a dietary journey, that maybe it's new for them and they do know some cooking, but they haven't cooked in the way that is maybe more helpful for them. Yeah, this is a weird thought, too, but I've been spending a lot of time at the cabin, and there's all these people that come and go and they bring all their groceries and then they leave.Stephanie [00:28:49]:And I keep looking at this refrigerator full of food, and I, I, I feel like, oh, I'm gonna have to make dinner here now for the rest of us that are left, but there's not, like, food you can eat. Like, it's so much like processed food and cheese spreads and salsas and condiments and breads that, like, there's just so much food that I actually wouldn't probably eat. And it's fascinating to me how people grocery shop.Emily Maxson [00:29:19]:Yeah. And I suppose too, if they're coming to your cabin as a guest, they're on vacation, so they're eating maybe more treats or processed foods that they eat on a regular basis. So it's their snacks and things like that.Stephanie [00:29:34]:Yes, that's like, what I'm left with. And I'm like, oh, okay, now I have to make a meal. It's a Sunday night. Which is why we make a lot of pizza, because we're using up all those dribs and drabs. And I hate to waste things. So, like, sometimes I have this horrible salsa that tastes like just a sugary mess. I'm like, what am I going to do with this? And I've got tons of vegetables in the garden. I was like, well, I could probably use a cup of it to make a soup.Stephanie [00:29:59]:And if I fortified it enough with vegetables and broth and it wouldn't be so terrible to have this sort of super sweet base. But yeah, that's my life.Emily Maxson [00:30:16]:I like your soup idea. That's a great way to use up the salsa.Stephanie [00:30:20]:All right, so where can people follow you? And how can they get the book?Emily Maxson [00:30:24]:Okay, my website, emily'sfreshkitchen.com the book is on Amazon. It will be in local stores. Five Swans, Gray and Excelsior. The Fox and Pantry, Golden Fig. Yes. So I love it.Stephanie [00:30:42]:Well, thanks for spending time with me. Emily and I will see you around. And maybe we'll do a taste bud episode together. You never know.Emily Maxson [00:30:49]:I'd love it. Thank you. Always good to see you.Stephanie [00:30:51]:Yeah, same. We'll talk soon. Thanks.Emily Maxson [00:30:54]:Bye. Bye.Stephanie's Dish Newsletter is a reader-supported publication. To receive new posts and support my work, consider becoming a free or paid subscriber. This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit stephaniehansen.substack.com/subscribe

Little marmalade cakes These light and buttery cakes are perfect using up marmalade. Quick and easy the marmalade flavour is perfect incorporated into a cake. Makes 12 Ingredients: 170g butter, softened, plus more for greasing muffin tins 1 cup sugar 2 large eggs 2 cups plain flour 1 tbsp marmalade 1 cup milk stirred with 1 tbsp lemon juice 1 tsp baking soda Topping ½ cup brown sugar ¼ cup marmalade 1 tbsp orange juice Method Preheat the oven to 180 C. Grease 12-hole muffin tin. Line each with small squares of baking paper. Cream butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time and continue beating until well-combined. Don't worry if it curdles. Sift in flour and add in marmalade and beat gently until just combined. In a cup combine milk and lemon juice and wait until is curdles – about 30 seconds. Stir in baking soda and add to cake batter. Mix until just combined. Fill each hole to two-thirds with the batter. Bake for 15-18 minutes until light brown and spring back to the touch. Make topping by melting brown sugar with marmalade and orange juice. As soon as the muffins are cooled to warm, gently loosen from muffin holes and then spoon over glaze. LISTEN ABOVESee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode: Anna and Elizabeth unpack one of the most common parent worries, how much kids eat. We explore how diet culture fuels fear, why restriction and pressure backfire, and how to use structure (not restriction or control) to support kids' self-regulation. We discuss:* Why social media “perfect plates” and lunchboxes fuel worry and fear* The research on restriction* Providing structure without micromanaging your child's eating* Tweens/teens still need support (even if they look independent)* When appetites fluctuate * Special considerations for ADHD meds and ARFID Links & Resources* Division of Responsibility (sDOR) — Ellyn Satter Institute * Podcast with Naureen Hunani on prioritizing felt safety in feeding. Sunny Side Up posts to support this episode* Sunny Side Up Feeding Framework* Tips for Serving Dessert with Dinner * Handling Halloween Candy: A Step-by-Step Parent Guide * A Simple Guide to Eliminate Diet Culture from Halloween Other links* Caffè Panna: the ice cream Elizabeth ordered.* Pinney Davenport Nutrition, PLLC* Lutz, Alexander & Associates Nutrition Therapy* Photo by Angela Mulligan on UnsplashShare this episode with a friend who's navigating mealtime worries.TranscriptElizabeth Davenport (00:01)Welcome back to Sunny Side Up Nutrition. Hi, Anna. Today we're going to talk about a really common worry parents bring up: What if my child eats too much or too little?Anna Lutz (00:04)Hi, Elizabeth.Right, I feel like this is a universal concern. Parents are always worrying about how much their child is eating. Sometimes they're worried they're eating too much. Sometimes they're worried they're eating too little. I feel it's never just right—thinking about Goldilocks. That's what parents do best, including myself—worry. But we all want our kids to grow up, grow well, and be healthy, of course.Elizabeth Davenport (00:31)Yeah.Anna Lutz (00:35)I think what we really want to talk about today is how diet culture sends so many confusing messages to parents and kind of fuels that worry—fuels the worry of parents—so that they focus a ton on what their child should eat, how much their child should eat, etc.Elizabeth Davenport (00:56)Yeah, exactly. And so we're going to talk about where those worries come from and why restriction and pressure to eat certain foods—more food, less food—backfire, and what parents can do instead to support their child's relationship with food. Let's jump in. Yes.Anna Lutz (01:15)That's right. I'm really excited—I'm excited about this episode because I think most parents can relate to this.Elizabeth Davenport (01:19)Me too. Yes, I mean, we both can, right?Anna Lutz (01:25)Of course—100%, 100%. And it can change day to day. It almost can be humorous—how you're worrying about one thing one day and then the next day you're worrying about the opposite. Yeah. So yeah, let's jump in. Why do parents' worries about their child eating either “too much” or “too little”—those are in quotes—usually come from?Elizabeth Davenport (01:36)Exactly.I mean, as you said in the beginning, diet culture really has such a strong influence over everything that we believe about food. And social media—I mean, it's all over social media: how much kids should be eating, what they should be eating. And it's confusing even because it's visual, and parents may see pictures of lunchboxes or plates and think, “My gosh, wait, I'm feeding my kid too much,” or “My gosh, I'm not feeding my kid enough or enough of the right foods.” And so I think one: I'll caution, right? For parents, it's so easy to compare what we're doing to what's out there. And really we have to do what we know is best, and it's impossible to fully know how much is in those pictures when people show how much they're feeding their kids.Other places that parents get these messages are from conversations with well-meaning pediatricians or other healthcare providers—also well-meaning family members, certainly grandparents. No hate—Anna Lutz (02:41)Very true.Elizabeth Davenport (02:59)—grandparents here because they can be really awesome, but they also sometimes forget what their role is, or it's unclear what their role is. Right? And yeah—just, overarching, it comes from diet culture messaging.Anna Lutz (03:07)True. True.And often it's linked—not always, but often—it's linked to the child's body size. Don't you think? So if someone—whether it's a pediatrician or family member or parent—is worried that the child is, “too big,” they're focusing on, “Well, they must eat too much.” And then conversely, if there are worries about a child being “too small,” that kind of fuels the worry of, “My gosh, my child's not eating enough.”Elizabeth Davenport (03:22)Yes.Anna Lutz (03:44)So that's where that diet culture and weight bias really can make an impact and then translate to how we feed our children.Elizabeth Davenport (03:54)Exactly.And because there's so much information available to us now, parents are just bombarded with this. Even if they're not on social media, they're bombarded with this kind of information.Anna Lutz (04:07)It's so true—it's so true. And I feel like it's important to really note that when we see those images on social media that you mentioned—or someone says, “This is how much someone should eat”—there are so many more factors. Even us as dietitians, we would never be able to tell a parent, “This is exactly how much this child should eat at this meal.”Elizabeth Davenport (04:30)Exactly.Anna Lutz (04:31)Because they're growing, their activity levels—Elizabeth Davenport (04:31)It's a great point.Anna Lutz (04:34)— are different. It depends what they ate earlier in the day; it depends what they didn't eat earlier in the day or last week. And so there's not some magic amount that if we just knew what it was—because even as pediatric dietitians, it's not something that is definable.Elizabeth Davenport (04:39)Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. So this is a nice segue into why it's so hard to really trust children to self-regulate their food intake.Anna Lutz (05:05)That's such a good question because it's kind of at the heart of it. I think because diet culture has so heavily influenced parenting and our medical system—and a big role of diet culture is to evoke fear—it tells us we can't trust bodies.Elizabeth Davenport (05:29)Right.Anna Lutz (05:30)Right—we need to control bodies.And so instead of really telling parents, “You know what? Children's bodies are wise, and your job is to support them in eating and, over time, developing their eating skills,” instead we're told, “You need to make sure your child doesn't eat too much of this, and you need to make sure your child eats enough of this.” These messages to parents are: don't trust your child. And often parents aren't trusting their own bodies, so then it's a leap—Elizabeth Davenport (06:02)Exactly.Anna Lutz (06:03)—to then trust your child's body.I think a few things to highlight here—and you probably have some ideas about this too—we've got research that really backs this up. One thing that comes to mind is research showing that when parents restrict their children's eating— they might be worried their child's eating too much and they restrict——then what we actually see is increased eating and sneak eating as a result. And so it doesn't “work.” If the goal is for the child to eat less, it doesn't work for a parent to restrict their eating. What is some other—Elizabeth Davenport (06:34)Exactly.Anna Lutz (06:46)—research we should highlight?Elizabeth Davenport (06:51)Oh my gosh, that's a good question. And I'll be honest here—that is not one of my strengths, remembering the research.Anna Lutz (06:57)Well, I was thinking about how we know that pressure doesn't help either. So, the opposite: if we're worried a child isn't eating enough and we start to say, “You have to eat this much,” that does not lead to an increase in intake. So again, it's not working. And then there's this study that I know we've mentioned many times on the podcast, but we'll bring it up here: when parents—Elizabeth Davenport (07:03)Thanks.No. It does not.Anna Lutz (07:21)—restrict “highly palatable foods,” which probably was the old name for highly processed foods, then when children who were not allowed access to those foods in their home were exposed to those foods, they ate a whole lot more. Again, that kind of restriction didn't lead to self-regulation.Elizabeth Davenport (07:24)Right. Right.Yeah. Yeah. Exactly.I thought you were asking me to name a research study. I definitely cannot do that—except for maybe that one where they feed kids lunch—both kids who've been restricted and kids who haven't been restricted the highly palatable foods—and then they'reAnna Lutz (07:51)Oh, sorry—I was not putting you on the spot. Elizabeth Davenport (08:12)—sent into a room with toys and with free access to all of those foods. And yes—even when they've eaten all their lunch—those kids who are from restricted families go and eat more of those highly palatable foods than the kids who are used to having them. I mean, I've seen it in my own home. Anytime there's a kid who's been restricted those highly palatable foods, often—what I've seen—they are going to eat those foods first on a plate. Always. And that's okay. That's okay. You can tell when kids are sitting together at a tableAnna Lutz (08:54)Great. Makes sense.Right.Elizabeth Davenport (09:04)with lots of different foods that include something highly palatable—like, I don't know, Goldfish crackers or Cheez-Its—the ones who don't have them on a regular basis or feel restricted are the kids who really have a hard time self-regulating.Anna Lutz (09:17)Right, right. That's true. Elizabeth Davenport (09:29)I just got us way off the topic, I think.And I want to make sure here that we also bring up our Sunny Side Up Feeding Framework, and step three of that framework is: trust your child to eat and grow.Anna Lutz (09:44)Which is—it's so amazing that in our culture, that's such a big lift, right? So that's why we want to support parents in that. But that is so important to our children. And these kinds of examples of research that we're discussing show that when that trust is eroded, it doesn't help. When we're not trusting our children, it doesn't—Elizabeth Davenport (09:56)Exactly.Right.Exactly. And I think another thing that we see so often—and want to make sure we note—is that it's important that kids are not fed based on their body size.Anna Lutz (10:22)That's a huge one. Let that sink in. I think that's a huge one. And this piece of research people might be surprised about: there's research that really shows that children in larger bodies—larger children—do not necessarily eat more than children that are smaller. I mean, if we really think about that fact, then trying to make larger children eat less makes no sense.Elizabeth Davenport (10:57)No, and it's sad. It makes me sad to think about it. And this is one of the pitfalls, right, that parents fall into: they're under so much pressure and feel so much like it is their job—Anna Lutz (11:02)Yeah, yeah.Right.Elizabeth Davenport (11:15)—to control what and how much their kids eat. Then also, you know, that translates into controlling the child's weight.Anna Lutz (11:23)Yep, 100%. What do you think are some other pitfalls that parents try when they're worried about how much their child eats, and how do they backfire?Elizabeth Davenport (11:26)Well, there are quite a few ways, but we talked a little bit about it just a second ago with restriction. Really limiting certain foods—or limiting seconds—also is a big one. If a child is in a larger body, parents will tend to feel like they can't allow their child to have seconds because they feel like they can't trust that they're not eating more than they need.Anna Lutz (11:44)Right. Yep.Elizabeth Davenport (12:02)And the reality is some kids just love to eat. They're more enthusiastic, or they're hungrier, or they have been restricted and aren't sure how much they're going to get the next time they eat—and so they are over-focused on the food.I think another pitfall is pressuring kids to finish everything or to take another bite—trying to reward them to finish their food—and also saying, “Look, your sister ate all of her food—what a great job she did,” and that really backfires. It makes kids feel bad; it pits them against each other; and what we know is that it—Anna Lutz (12:40)Right.Elizabeth Davenport (12:49)—maybe will help once in a while, but long term it doesn't help a kid trust themselves, learn the foods that they like and don't like, and learn to trust their internal cues. Yeah. And I always feel like I have to say: we're not criticizing parents at all here. This is— Parents are under so much—so much pressure, as we said in the beginning and as we always say—to feed in some perfect way. And it's just not possible. No, it doesn't.And then there's another pitfall: you're worried that your child isn't eating enough, and so parents fall into this really—what we call—permissive feeding.Anna Lutz (13:20)Right.And it exists. Yeah.Elizabeth Davenport (13:38)Some examples might be allowing your child to graze in between meals—like carrying around a snack cup.Anna Lutz (13:50)Right, right, right. The kind you stick your hand in, but they don't spill. Yeah.Elizabeth Davenport (14:04)Exactly. Or allowing them to carry around a sippy cup of milk or juice; or only serving their prepared foods—or sorry, only serving the foods that they like to eat—Anna Lutz (14:11)Right—right, absolutely.Elizabeth Davenport (14:14)—because you're really worried. And that also backfires because, one, kids are going to—most kids are going to—get bored of eating the same things over and over again, and then they're not going to eat more. Some kids don't, and that's a different conversation. But yeah.Anna Lutz (14:28)Right, I think those are all important examples of where that worry can start to erode the feeding relationship and how we approach food as parents. I think about when we're working with parents in our practices and there might be worry that a child is accelerating quicker than expected on their weight growth curve, or they're decelerating —not gaining weight fast enough—often the recommendation is the exact same, which is: do not allow grazing; don't short-order cook; provide structure. It's the same regardless of what might be going on, which I always find interesting.Elizabeth Davenport (15:15)Yeah—that's—yeah, and that's a very important point also.Anna Lutz (15:21)Yep. Elizabeth Davenport (15:23)I think this leads us into creating structure, right? And we talk about this a lot, and we want to be clear here that it's possible to create structure without restricting your child's intake. So let's talk a little bit about why structure with meals and snacks is so important, and how it can help in this situation when parents are worrying about how much or how little their child might be eating.Anna Lutz (15:57)Great. Well, I think you and I really like to talk about feeding as a developmental task that we—as parents—are supporting our child in learning. Structure helps the child know that they're supported.Something we really think about is children having that “felt safety.” When Noreen Hunami was on our podcast, she mentioned felt safety. It's a term that was first used by Dr. Purvis. It's when parents make sure a child's environment elicits a true sense of safety—the child feels safety truly in their body. So a child can be safe, but may not feel safe. And so that structure tells the child - “I know my mom's going to feed me. I know my mom's going to feed me meals—the food that I need—in a predictable way.” Even though we don't have to say that to our children, if it just happens, it can help evoke that felt safety for a child. For some kids, that might be a little bit more structure—they need that to feel more safe.Elizabeth Davenport (17:03)Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.Anna Lutz (17:06)For some kids, it might be a little bit less structure—and that's where responsive feeding comes in. We can keep talking about that. But that's a big reason why structure is helpful. What popped into my mind is: so often in our practices, you and I see kids that may have been given the jobs of food a little too early—when they were too young. And for those children, it may have made them feel not so safe. They might not have been able to say, “Hey, I need some more structure with my food,”Elizabeth Davenport (17:18)Yeah. Okay.Anna Lutz (17:37)—but that's when we might see some concerns about their eating. And then, when the parents step in and are like, “I've got your food,” their eating might improve.Elizabeth Davenport (17:48)Right. I'm thinking now about the permissive feeding, and this is one where parents sometimes are so worried about their kids eating that they will say, “Do you want this, this, this, or—” which can be overwhelming for the child—or they want the child to decide. When in actuality, that's the parent's job. And that's where you can bring some of that structure back in. If you're giving your child a bunch of choices, practice either giving them two choices or just saying, “This is what we're having,” and not feeding them foods that you know are going to be problematic for them. That's not what I mean—I'm not serving them liver and onions.Anna Lutz (18:31)Right.Unless that is what your family has. Okay—okay, that makes sense for you to say that. Yeah, but I think what you're saying is: if someone's listening and they're like, “What do they mean by structure?” What we're talking about is the parents—Ellyn Satter's Division of Responsibility is a good place to start—Elizabeth Davenport (18:38)My mom used to make liver and onions. I did not like it.Okay, yeah.Anna Lutz (18:59)—the parents deciding when and what is served so that the child has regular, predictable meals and they're not having to make these kind of adult decisions of what to have at the meal.Elizabeth Davenport (19:13)Exactly. And I think, you know, I'm thinking about young kids, but it's important to make the point that this also applies to older kids. I see this so often—sorry.And if you listen to us on a regular basis, you know we talk about all of these things and these themes are woven through all of our podcast episodes. But it's also important for tweens and teens: they're often given these jobs before they're ready. They look like adults. They sound like adults sometimes. And so we think they can take on the task of—Anna Lutz (19:36)Right.Elizabeth Davenport (19:53)—making all the decisions about what they're eating and when to eat. And they often will need parents to come back in and give them some structure around that again. Yeah, I'm trying to think if there are some other examples of structure we could give that might—Anna Lutz (20:05)Well, something that came to mind was thinking about teenagers, where there might be times we're not preparing the food and handing it to them, but we're providing structure with asking questions and acknowledging. Just this morning, I was driving a child to school and I said, “Do you have your lunch? Do you have your pre-workout snack—or pre-athletic team snack?” Right? Those were packed the night before.Anna Lutz (20:42)But there's something in the structure of just saying, “This is important. I'm going to make sure you have it because it's so important for your day.” If a child's going out with friends, you might say, “Hey, what are your plans for dinner?” You're providing that structure in a reminder way. Yeah.Elizabeth Davenport (20:57)Exactly, exactly. I mean, I have to admit I'm doing a little bit of that with my college students—saying, instead of “Make sure to eat your fruits and vegetables,” I'm asking, “Are you finding any that you really like? Any that you don't like? What's available?” That kind of thing. Because part of me is worried, right? At least my youngest, who doesn't have an apartment to cook in—Anna Lutz (21:08)Great.Right.Elizabeth Davenport (21:28)—an apartment kitchen—is maybe not—right? So that's also a way to say it's totally natural to worry. And it's also totally okay to still be providing some structure—very lightly—even when they're older.Anna Lutz (21:31)Right. So that reminder—Yeah.That's right. And that's where you're slowly taking down the scaffolding as they get older and older and older. That's exactly right.Elizabeth Davenport (21:52)And every child has different needs.Anna Lutz (21:57)That's important—and personality. That's right.Elizabeth Davenport (21:59)And their needs can change. Needs can—right? There can be times where they don't need much structure, but certainly during a transition—the start of school, the start of a new after-school activity—Anna Lutz (22:13)Right.Yep. 100%.Elizabeth Davenport (22:16)—those can all be times where they might need a little more structure. All right. So what else do we need to chat about?Anna Lutz (22:19)Yep, exactly, exactly.Yeah, so I was thinking: let's talk a little bit about children's appetites since we're talking about parents worrying about how much a child eats. Are they eating too much? Are they eating too little? Let's talk a little bit about how much children's appetite—or their hunger and fullness—changes day to day.Elizabeth Davenport (22:33)Yeah.Oh my gosh. I mean, if we think about our own hunger and fullness as adults, right—it changes day to day.Anna Lutz (22:49)Right.Absolutely.Elizabeth Davenport (22:55)So if you're a parent and you're having a hard time with, “My gosh, my child is not eating three meals and two to three snacks a day—what is happening?” you might ask yourself—think about your own eating. I think it's important to say that it's completely normal, for lack of a better word for kids to eat more at some times and what we might think of as “too little” or “too much” at other times. They might be tired, so they might not eat as much. Certainly with little kids—toddlers, preschoolers—they're tired by the end of the day. They are just not going to eat much dinner, most likely. They're going to eat more when they come home from daycare or preschool—if that's what they're in—than they will at dinner.I also think of kindergartners. If you think of a kid who was in a half-day preschool and then they start kindergarten, they are probably going to be starving when they get home at the end of the day and just exhausted. They might not even make it to dinner. They might need to go to bed - when they're first starting kindergarten—before dinner. So there just might be something going on. I mean, we could have a whole episode on reasons that people eat different amounts. So I think the overarching message is to trust—going back to that—Anna Lutz (24:09)Right, right.Elizabeth Davenport (24:29)—step three in the feeding framework: really trust your children to eat and grow. And that can help parents feel like, “Okay, I don't have to try to control the exact amounts that my child is taking in.”Anna Lutz (24:46)That's right. That's right. It really goes back to that trust, which is hard, because every part of our culture is trying to pull us away from trusting our children on that. But if you can go back to—if a child eats a ton at a meal, they're probably really hungry and they—Elizabeth Davenport (24:54)Exactly.—really hungry! Or they love the food. Or both. Yeah.Exactly. Exactly.Yeah. It's very hard. It is very hard. And, you know, if you do find yourself worrying, “My gosh, is my kid eating too much or too little?” you can ask yourself: where is that coming from for you? I kind of jumped ahead here, but one of the things we wanted to ask is: what is one small step that parents can take today that can help them trust their children with food?Anna Lutz (25:48)One thing I think about is: if you feel like you could do more with just regular, predictable meals and snacks, say, “Okay, I'm going to really work on making sure I'm feeding my child breakfast and a morning snack and a lunch”—depending on the age of the child and a lot of other things—“in a very predictable way.”Elizabeth Davenport (26:08)Right, right.Anna Lutz (26:10)And I'm going to really—when I do that—try to take a deep breath and let my child decide how much they're going to eat at each time. That's one.Elizabeth Davenport (26:17)And what they're going to eat of what you serve.Anna Lutz (26:20)That's right.Another step you could take is to just really notice—notice when you start to get worried about your child eating too much or too little—and see if you can take a deep breath and be like, “Whoop, there I go again.” And not say anything, not do anything—just start to notice when that worry starts to bubble up.Elizabeth Davenport (26:25)Right.That's always my favorite recommendation to start with: really noticing what's happening—stepping back and noticing how you feel, noticing the thoughts that go through your head.Another action I was thinking of—and this goes back to us talking about how much feeding advice is out there, just so, so much—if you find yourself (and that includes our social media, right?) following some social media accounts that are making you feel stress and making you question—Anna Lutz (27:09)Right.Elizabeth Davenport (27:17)—that you feel is eroding your trust, or not helping build your trust in your child's ability to eat and grow—then unfollow that account. And just take a break and notice what comes up for you after you take that break—or while you're taking that break.Anna Lutz (27:27)Yep, absolutely.Yep. That's a great one.I love that. I love that.So, we've been talking a lot about parents worrying about how much their children eat and really focusing on trusting your child. I feel like we'd be remiss not to bring up when children are on ADHD medications or maybe they've been diagnosed with ARFID, which is an eating disorder—it stands for avoidant restrictive food intake disorder.Elizabeth Davenport (27:44)Mm-hmm.Yeah.Anna Lutz (28:03)When there are these conditions going on, for the parents out there who are saying, “Wait a minute, I'm worried my child doesn't eat enough—they're on ADHD medications and they never get hungry.” How can we talk a little bit to those parents? What can they keep in mind?Elizabeth Davenport (28:18)Right, right.Certainly with ADHD medication—those often do interfere with the child's appetite. And that's a situation where your child's not going to feel hungry, and some of that structure is going to be reminding them, “Okay, it's time to eat,” and eat—even though you don't feel hungry—because when the medication wears off, kids can feel overly hungry and almost out of control at times. So that's one.And then I think—it's such a complex situation. I'm trying to think of a specific example, but the situations are so different. The bottom line is: this is a situation where a kid is really not able to tolerate the foods, and so really working on initially allowing your child to eat the foods that they feel safe eating. And yes, I know that sounds like us contradicting what we said earlier, but this is a different situation.Anna Lutz (29:17)That's right.And that's when our hope is that you're getting very personalized, individualized support. So the advice we're giving here may not be for someone with an eating disorder—or it may need to be adapted for someone with an eating disorder—and then when medications come into play, too.These might be examples—tell me if you think this is too much to say—of where we can't unfortunately trust our child's hunger and fullness as much as we hope that one day we can, right? Or as much as we're saying, “Okay, just trust your child's body.” These might be situations where other things are going on, and so let's get a little bit more support in place so that your child is getting the food they need.Elizabeth Davenport (29:31)Yes.Exactly.Elizabeth Davenport (30:05)Right. Right. Yeah, at some point we can do a whole episode on ARFID.Anna Lutz (30:09)That would be great. We should probably do—Elizabeth Davenport (30:16)Would be. But I think—just a few reminders as we wrap up here. It is completely normal to worry about your child's eating. We all do it. Yes, I do too. I do too. And the strategies to try to control how much or how little they're eating—or what they're eating—backfire. Really, part of the structure is stepping back a little bit and trusting that they are going to—Anna Lutz (30:42)All right.Elizabeth Davenport (31:08)—continue to develop their eating skills. And remember that when you're worrying about how much or how little they're eating, how much kids eat varies—from meal to snack, day to day, week to week, month to month. It's going to change all the time. It's one thing if it's decreasing all the time and they're taking foods out—and that's for another episode, right? But—We'll be sure to link to relevant podcasts that we've done in the past and blog posts in the show notes. And if you'd like to join our membership, Take the Frenzy Out of Feeding, for a deeper dive into raising kids with a healthy relationship with food, we'd love for you to join us. You can find the link in the show notes, or on our website under the Courses tab. So—Anna Lutz (31:24)Yeah.That's right.Elizabeth Davenport (31:31)We didn't come up with what we wanted to end with. We usually end with a question or a—what's your favorite food? My favorite food right now is ice cream. I ordered—what's that?Anna Lutz (31:39)Yum. Is there a certain flavor you've been enjoying?Elizabeth Davenport (31:44)I mean, I'll tell you a certain— I got myself a gift and ordered ice cream from a shop in New York City. I've wanted to try their ice cream since they opened. Anytime we've been there, I just haven't been able to get there. So I thought, “Wait a minute, I can have it shipped to me.” I mean, it was not cheap, but I love ice cream, and it was such a—I've really loved having it around. I've loved it. Yeah. It's called Cafe Pana if you live in New York—Anna Lutz (31:51)Wow.Neat. That's so neat.What is it called again? Neat. Tell me the name of it again.Elizabeth Davenport (32:12)—or you're visiting New York. It's really—I mean, it's the real deal. What's that?Cafe Pana. Yep, yep. So, how about you?Anna Lutz (32:21)Very cool. That sounds awesome.I've been enjoying—I was just having some before we recorded—the truffle almonds from Trader Joe's.Elizabeth Davenport (32:32)I don't think I've ever had those. I need to get some and try them.Anna Lutz (32:33)And they are so much better than the ones you get at Whole Foods. And they're like half the price, but they're just perfect. Highly recommend.Elizabeth Davenport (32:39)Okay.Nice.Okay. All right. Ice cream and truffle almonds. Yeah. Yeah. All right—until next time. Bye.Anna Lutz (32:48)There you go.See you next time. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit snutrition.substack.com

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 Fear is a spiritual poison. It starts as a whisper—"What if I fail?"—then spreads like wildfire, twisting reality until:Every thought is clouded by anxiety.Opportunities become obstacles.Faith is replaced by paralysis.How Fear AttacksIt Distorts TruthTurns caution into chronic dread.Replaces peace with "This won't last."It Isolates YouMakes you withdraw, convinced "No one understands."Grows strongest in loneliness.It Warps Your VisionThe mind races with worst-case scenarios.Life feels heavier, darker, hopeless.It Erodes Faith"God isn't listening.""I'm not strong enough."Step by step, fear disconnects you from God.7 Battle Plans to Destroy Fear1. Name the BeastWrite down every worst-case scenario.Prioritize them. Suddenly, fear loses its vagueness and power.2. Breathe Through ItInhale deeply, exhale slowly—until the panic passes.3. EFT TappingTap on acupressure points (eyebrow, side of hand) while voicing fears. Example:"Even though I'm terrified of ___, I deeply accept myself."4. Bioenergetic TherapyRelease fear trapped in the body with a qualified therapist.5. The Mountain CureTrek with a heavy backpack in silence.With each step, feel the fear—then outwalk it.6. Bungee Jump (Literally or Figuratively)Confront fear head-on. Post-jump, realize: "I survived. Fear lied."7. The 10-Minute Prayer Hands TechniquePress palms together perfectly (no air gaps).Hold at neck level, focus on fears.After 10 mins, fear weakens by 50%.Final Rally Cry"Fear is ILLOGICAL.You're scared of spiders? 99% flee if you advance.Afraid of failure? Every hero has failed.Face it. Do it. Kill it."Arm yourself: Fear grows in avoidance. Starve it with action.My Video:  Signs of a Spiritual Attack on Your Mind  https://youtu.be/krbqGQJi1QwMy Audio: https://divinesuccess.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/Podcast4/Signs-of-a-Spiritual-Attack-on-Your-Mind.mp3

23:15 12.10.2025 I had a walk after eating on the 9th in the evening and it was great for going through all my topics. A lot of changes now all of sudden. Makes me think I'm living in a sit-com. I'll have to record about it soon.Good night.

Christian College Sex Comedy: Part 2 A Quick Execution Plan In 30 parts, By FinalStand. Listen to the podcast at Explicit Novels.             If my life is a mirror, why does mine have to be one-way with me on the wrong side.     Christina was waiting for me when I came out, minus her servant (classes had just been let out so she hadn't snared one yet), but she'd gained three sidekicks who looked upon me with varying degrees of amusement and contempt. The shortest of them, a sexy brunette with a foxy-like face glared at me with ill-disguised hate, over what I had no idea. "Come on, Zane," Christina said as she handed me her book bag, "time to face judgment." "Face judgment?" I mused. "Are we really going there? I made an honest mistake and besides, isn't forgiveness of sins the prime Christian virtue?" Angry Girl grabbed my arm and yanked but the sad facts of physics and my contrariness kept her from moving me. The girl ground her teeth, on the cusp of rage. "Zane, come," dictated Christina calmly. "Heaven, release him before he starts crying to the liberal media about physical abuse." Heaven? Seriously, who names their daughter Heaven, I thought, then I remembered where I'm standing. I meekly went to Christina's side when Heaven released me, then we started making our way to the Administration Building. My phone went off and I checked the message and had to snicker. It was Iona and apparently the girls are starting to use my time as some sort of currency. "What was that all about?" another sidekick asked. This one was actually friendly. "I'm Chastity," she identified herself. "Hey, Chastity," I grinned back to her. "That was an enterprising freshman who is keeping track of which lady has requested my Handmaiden services, and now I'm apparently being swapped around." "You are a whore," snarled Angry Chick Heaven. "Listen," I shot back, "this is your crazy tradition, not mine. I'm only doing what my upperclassmen are demanding of me. I'm acting like any other incoming freshman. But I have to admit, I haven't actually read the handbook yet." "Let it be, Heaven," advised Christina. "This will all be over in thirty minutes and he'll be gone." On that note, I turned to the last unnamed senior. "So what's your name, if you would be so kind as to tell me?" "Faith," she replied cautiously. I kept grinning. "I swear, if you ladies have a girl named Hope in your close circle of friend we should form an all-girls 80s-style punk rock band. I'll be the manager, constantly clashing with Christina over artistic differences," I rambled on. "You are kind of a nut," Chastity pointed out. "I'm on the verge of the shortest college career in history so I admit to being a bit nervous," I confessed, and surprise of surprises, Chastity placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. Somehow that made Heaven angrier with me, which I didn't think was possible. Before I could delve into the psychoses of Heaven, we arrived at the Chancellor's office. I gave Christina her bag as the girls abandoned me once the secretary ushered me in with a disdainful sniff of her nose. Inside were six women but I only recognized two: Chancellor Doctor Melrose Bazz and Ms. Goodswell, who also happened to be my assigned Spiritual Advisor. "Come in and sit down, Mr. Braxton," commanded Doctor Bazz. Since the only open chair was directly in front of her desk and flanked by the other chairs (so I'd be doubly flanked), I took my seat. "As you must now understand, there has been a horrible error," the Chancellor continued. "To rectify this situation you will withdraw from Freedom Fellowship University effective immediately. Your tuition will, of course, be refunded." She slid some papers in front of me. "I take it everyone knows who I am, ma'am, but who am I in the room with?" I inquired. "Sign the papers," insisted Doctor Bazz. "Can I think about this?" I inquired. "No," she answered. "Are you sure?" I persisted. "Yes," she snapped angrily. "Okay, then, I'm not signing," I decided. Everyone stirred restlessly. "You don't have a choice," one of the unnamed women in the room declared. "Security will hand you over to the Sheriff's Department as we remove you if you don't leave sensibly." "That sounds like a lawsuit," I noted. "You are mistaken, Mr. Braxton," the Chancellor glared. I noticed the unnamed woman farthest from me looked less than convinced; that made her the college's lawyer. "Chancellor, I have a deep respect for you and for the school you so expertly shepherd. I'm not out to embarrass this institution." I tried to relate to all of them. "The problem for you is that at no time in the registration process was I ever asked if I was male," I began my argument. "I entered my first name in as Glenn; your computer system transcribed that over to Glenda. At no time did I attempt to deceive the administration. I also can call forth witnesses from my dorm floor that will testify that I clearly didn't understand this was a woman's institution of higher learning." "You are being highly disruptive to the school and you've already been in one fight in your first four hours of school," another unnamed member announced. "Pardon me, but I don't know who you are," I asked the woman. "Dana Gorman, Head of Security and Dean of Athletics," she snipped. "Coach Dana, I was not aware that anyone was hurt and since I wasn't supplied my Handbook until yesterday afternoon when I went to my dorm room, I had no idea about the Handmaiden's Duty. I did find my roommate pinned to the ground with three girls sitting on her while she screamed and cried. I pushed/kicked them away and picked her up. I acted with charity and compassion," I put my best spin on the case as possible. "Doctor Josephine Sergeant, Dean of Sciences," the other unnamed woman introduced herself. "I'm not sure how I can fit you into my program, Mr. Braxton. The corpses Advanced Biology students work on are all female." "Doctor, I would imagine if I do become a doctor, I will have to work on women from time to time," I countered. "Mr. Braxton, nothing good can come of your intransience. Sign the papers, take the fall off, and find another school more fitting to your nature and gender," the Chancellor spoke. "I'll fight," I replied. We had a still moment, then Ms. Goodswell cleared her throat. "Zane, why do you want to stay?" "Short answer: this school has nine hundred women and one me; what's not to love? Long version: my inheritance is based on me being eighteen and in a college of my Aunt's choosing. It is too late for me to get into another program this year so if I don't fight, I go broke. I have nothing to lose." "Ms. Lane," the Chancellor addressed her lawyer, "is there any reason we can't escort Mr. Braxton to the gates right now?" The attractive young lawyer brushed a stray strand of her lovely light brown hair before responding. "There does seem to be a flaw in the administration software. There is no sexual differentiation key. Medical files were submitted as required and they clearly identify him as being male so there was no indication of evasion on his part, we missed it. FFU can expel him if he doesn't leave of his own accord but he definitely has a lawsuit against us." That gave people food for thought. It took Ms. Goodswell to save the day and I didn't really expect that. "Mr. Braxton, do you promise us to be an exemplary student if we allow you to stay out the semester?" "Of course," I promised. "Well, we can't keep him where he is," insisted Dana, shocked and angry. "We can keep him in his residence hall but place him in the Solarium. We can fix up something for him by tonight, and we have him cleared to use the fifth floor showers as schedules allow," Ms. Goodswell suggested. "The place is a mess," Dana grumbled. "I'll work to make it better as time allows," I volunteered. "Mr. Braxton, wait outside while we discuss this," commanded the Chancellor. I took my cue and left quickly. Christina and clique were sitting patiently waiting for me. She stood and made to leave. "I was told to wait here," I informed her, which brought the whole troop up short. "What are we waiting for?" Christina inquired. "Oh, I have them over a barrel so I insisted they assign one of you to be my bed warmer for the rest of the week. They are debating on which one of you gets the honor," I teased. "You bastard," spat Heaven, getting in my face. "You are a vomitus piece of filth!" "Just for that, you are next," I grinned devilishly at her. "Huh?" she looked far angrier than uncertain, "Next for what?" "Oh, during the upcoming sex orgy I host, you are 'Next'. See," I sighed dramatically, "I'm not likely to remember your name so when I call out 'Next,' I mean you." I had a split second to decide whether I'd duck or not. Training was screaming at me to half-step back while bringing up an arm to block but, Pow! I staggered back to the wall and slumped halfway down to the floor. Heaven kept coming and kicked me twice in the shin before Chastity and Christina pulled her off me. She was still sputtering and growling when the Chancellor's door opened up and Ms. Gorman stepped out and closed it behind her. "What is going on here?" she hissed. "There was a misunderstanding," Christina answered. "Actually, Heaven punched me after I deflected one of her insults," I countered. "Now I have to ponder civil litigation." "What?" Christina asked cautiously. Heaven was less diplomatic or restrained. "You provoked me," she accused me. "Do you know word one about my sexual habits? Could you prove a believable threat to you or someone around you? Barring that, you just committed assault," I informed Heaven. "You are willing to gamble we would betray Heaven to someone like you?" Faith threatened. "No," Dana answered for me. "I have little doubt that Mr. Braxton has noted that all classes and administration rooms have cameras." She seemed bitter about her own security procedures. The rest of the girl posse seemed equally unhappy except for, "Come on," Chastity told me as she offered me a hand up. I took it and quickly was upright once more so that we were chest to chest. "Please don't do this, Zane," she said evenly. Heaven scoffed. "Very well, Chastity, because it was you who requested it, but I do ask for one thing in return," I told her. "Of course he wants something," Heaven snarled sarcastically. "Actually, all I want is five minutes with Heaven," I explained, and when Heaven rolled her eyes and Chastity looked uncomfortable, I added, "no physical contact at all, only sitting down and talking." "She'll do it," Christina agreed. "No!" balked Heaven. "You'll do it or be expelled and face possible jail time," Ms. Gorman stated. "No," it was my turn to say. "I was joking; I won't press charges against Heaven." "She can still be expelled," Dana insisted. "For what?" I asked. Dana looked at me cautiously. "Hell, we were just fooling around; right ladies?" No one said anything because to speak was to court the sin of falsehoods. "Yes," said Christina, taking the plunge; the others nodded. Dana bored me into place with her gaze, weighing her options. "Keep it down out here," she snapped to the room, "especially you young ladies. I expected better from you four." The implication was that my cock exempted me from mature behavior. "Thank you," Chastity told me. "It took the grand total of one word, please," I explained. "I know it must be hard to believe but I'm not a total scumbag." "Are you still going to make me pay for insulting Rio?" Christina mocked. "The week isn't over yet," I pointed out. The resulting silence was interesting. Five minutes later the door opened and the women filed past. The second to last one out was the lawyer, Ms. Lane. "Mr. Braxton, we will have to get together to discuss some of your unique legal issues and liabilities next week," she informed me. "I await you at your leisure, Ms. Lane. Whatever you need, I'll do my best to comply," I smiled. "It will certainly be easier if you are compliant," she smiled back before turning and heading into the hallway, my eyes watching the line on her stockings going from where her skirt's hemline revealed her shapely thighs down her muscular calves to her four-inch heels. "Temptation comes in many forms," Ms. Goodswell said, interrupting me from the distraction of Ms. Lane's luscious posterior, a look that Ms. Lane caught as she smiled and turned out of sight. "In my admittedly limited experience, temptation is a result of dissatisfaction with one's circumstances, not a weakness of character," I offered as an explanation. "As your spiritual counselor, I feel it is my duty to keep you on the straight and narrow," Ms. Goodswell sighed with faux sufferance. "I don't mean to make things hard for you, Ms. Goodswell," I jibbed. "Enough sexual innuendo for the moment, Zane; you've been given an opportunity so don't blow it, don't disappoint me," Ms. Goodswell warned me while stabbing me in the chest with a well-manicured cherry gloss fingernail. I gave her a funny look. "What is it, Mr. Braxton?" she asked. "Oh, it is the fact that you are attempting the impossible, restoring my faith in organized Christianity, I answered while fishing for her name. "Virginia," Ms. Goodswell filled in the void of my unsubtle inquiry. "You are going to be trouble," she said, but her smile belied any worry on her part. "Well, I must get to lunch. I have a deserving Mistress who demands that I spoon-feed her," I told her as I moved to Christina and her cohorts. "Your room, seven o'clock, Zane. We'll be moving you to your new lodgings then," Virginia instructed. I nodded my acknowledgement then headed off to my late lunch. As we crossed campus, we remained relatively quiet until we approached the Dining Hall. "You remain intriguing, Mr. Braxton," Christina allowed. "I am equally drawn to you, you sanctimonious twat," I bantered back, and the girl posse jerked in response. "I hope they house you in a deep, dark hole," snapped Heaven. "I hope they do too," I beamed at Heaven, "and I hope you have the only key." "Why is that?" asked Chastity. "I'd let him starve to death," Heaven grinned viciously. I kept my eyes on Heaven. "Well, if Heaven had the key, she could come down and torture me whenever she wanted," I explained, and when Heaven licked her lips in anticipation, I added, "and she'd look so fetching in nothing but thin strips of black leather, high heels, and a whip in her hand as she scourged the sin out of me again and again, ." I licked my lips sensually at Heaven, "and again." Now all movement stopped; even the normally homicidal Heaven was caught up in the imagery (which she liked) and the other girls were wrapping their minds around the implications of either me on my knees, Heaven in leather, or us together. "You have a very sinful mind," accused Faith. "I have never denied that," I responded. "I'm a flawed creature in need of redemption, I admit that. Thankfully, I've chosen a religion based on forgiveness and second chances, then, eh?" Any further comments were interrupted by a girl running into me, more like almost running over me. "Zane! They didn't transubstantiate you into communion wafers," Rio squealed, showing more womanly affection than I would have given her credit for. Rio didn't do a great job of being 'surprised' when she noticed the girls around me. Heaven glared at Rio and I tried to shift myself between them but Christina intervened before anything happened. "Felon, I am in need of a stool to sit on; I'm tired," Christina said. As she used the word 'felon,' she smirked at me. Rio flinched too. "Wouldn't you rather have me lie on my back so you can sit on my face so I can get you off? That way we could both eat lunch," Rio sneered back. Christina didn't bite. "Make a seat, little felon," Christina smiled. I had a sudden desire to miss lunch. "I've got this, Zane," Rio told me as she touched my upper arm and pushed me toward the door. As I grudgingly walked away, I saw Rio get down on all fours on the grass and Christina take her seat. The best thing I could say about the situation was that Queen Christina didn't bounce up and down. Before I could come up with some rescue strategy, Iona corralled me and led me to the Handmaiden Mistress of the moment; Dove. Dove's food had grown cold and Iona had kept assuring her I was on my way so I set to my latest exercise in humility. Dove expected me to sit with her. I brushed her shoulder-length auburn hair aside and fed her mouthful after mouthful, using a napkin to tantalize her lips after every few bites, which Dove found enticing and the surrounding tables found romantic. I was getting the feeling that the girls were looking at this whole Handmaiden thing differently than I was. At three o'clock I made it to Soccer tryouts, forgetting one little gigantic complication, this was Christina's team. She and the coach decided that since they couldn't outright deny me the chance for a place on the team, they could make me target practice (aka goalie). I blocked eleven shots from established members of the team (they have Soccer/Football in Thailand) but number twelve got past me, I was off the team. At four came Archery tryouts and I was starting to feel the weight of being the true outsider here, and it got worse when I saw our Team Captain was Chastity Adams, aka Chastity of Team Christina. I turned to put my equipment up when Chastity called me over. "What are you doing, Zane?" "I've just finished having Christina use me as a crash test dummy," I admitted. "I figured I'd save us both some time so that you could concentrate your efforts on people who might actually have a chance to be on the team." "Zane, why don't you think I'd give you a chance?" Chastity asked quietly. "Will you give me a chance?" I wondered. "Not if you quit right now," she pointed out. So, I gave it a shot and I leaned that I sucked at archery, but clearly not as bad as most of the other girls so Chastity tapped me as a competitive alternate, which meant I was to carry equipment and practice a lot, the newbie. "Why did you do this, let me on the team?" I inquired after the team announcements. "You aren't half bad," she explained, then smiled and pointed out, "plus you will distract the other all-female teams." "Thanks for the chance, Chastity," I said as I shook her hand. "You are good-looking and funny, Zane, and the other girls will work harder so they can stick around you," she responded while looking at me intently. "Now go, you have another team to try out for." Sometimes I needed to be reminded that there are things a twenty-one-year-old could teach an eighteen-year-old. I barely made it to Karate tryouts (Marksmanship and Orientation were on Tuesdays and Thursdays). I didn't recognize our Team Leader but our coach was Dana Gorman, Head of Security. She eyed me with suspicion but it was nothing compared to the looks I got from the Team Sub-captain. I thought I recognized the face but I definitely recognized her ass and the hair weave, I'd put a foot in it when I kicked her off Rio, yeah me! I told them I knew some kick-boxing but Dana was not impressed so I was placed with the beginners group, which I proceeded to dominate utterly. Ten minutes of that and the Team Captain Wilhelmina Spellman put me in the second tier, where I went undefeated in our little sparing matches yet again. Willie wanted to put me on the first team but the girl whose ass I'd kicked vocally opposed her on it. Willie relented but only partially. After class, the sub-captain would judge my performance and get the final say if I was first-team material. I figured if I ripped out her still-beating heart and showed it to her, I had a fifty-fifty chance of making the squad. We squared off after the last girl left, the sub-Captain didn't want any witnesses. She was more skilled and had more emotional investment but I'd actually been in some real fights and was faster and stronger. As far as matches went, it was pretty intense. We went back and forth with no real advantage until she threw me by grabbing and tearing off my ghee. Before she could capitalize I got in a kick to her gut and when she unfolded, I head-butted her, causing her nose to bleed. I pulled up and she rubbed her nose and looked at the blood. "Oh, God, I'm sorry. Let me go get someone," I urged. "You hurt me," she muttered. "Lord Jesus Christ, you hurt me," she said angrily as I stepped forward. I was so overwhelmed with human compassion I didn't see the kick coming. I was dreaming of running errands to a close village which was something I got away with from time to time. It was a pleasant day if a little cold for daytime in the Thai uplands. The young widow I spent some time with was attending me and I was clearly lying back and enjoying some of our intimate foreplay. Her mouth felt warm and comforting on my little helmet, her tongue didn't twirl like it normally did, but I wasn't in Thailand anymore either. My jaw hurt but that was far less relevant than the pressure of the body I was feeling on my thighs, the warm, wet sensation around my cock, and the feel of hands on my shaft and stomach. I propped myself up and looked down at my crotch were our sub-captain looked up at me while keeping her bobbing rhythm going. "Stop," I ordered her. She reluctantly agreed, her eyes warring with anger, shame, and lust. I imagine she was wondering about what kind of academic hell I was about to bring down on her or if she could get away with crying rape as she pushed herself back and rested on her haunches. "Take off your clothes," I ordered next. That command staggered her but my gaze fixed her in place. "What are you going to do to me?" she said with a shaky voice. "I'm going to reciprocate what you've been doing to me. You gave me a great lesson and I want to return the favor, now strip." She thought about it a moment, then did a quick striptease which brought me to my knees. "What's your name?" I inquired as she finished. "Cappadocia Davis," she murmured as she met me at knee level. I started kissing her, drifting into chest contact and letting our hands roam free for several minutes. Cappy had a very passive-aggressive style and often mirrored what I did, all the signals of a confident virgin. Getting us down head to crotch took little effort as Cappy went back to administering her blowjob and I started working over her own sexual center. She only asked me to hurry once when I was spending time getting to know her thighs with delicate kisses. Though it was a bit rough, Cappadocia worked me furiously with strong hands, plump lips, and a fighter's stamina. On my end, I did all I could. I mapped out the pleasure lines along her thighs, across the groin, and farther along the stomach and sides, passing the breasts to the throat, ears and lips. Cappadocia expected a quick fuck and an equally quick departure. As it was, we missed dinner and I would almost be late for my room meeting. Before then, I explored Cappy fully. I kissed every ebony inch of her, from kneecap to navel; I took gentle tongue strokes to her lips, cunt, and especially the clit while not forgetting a little tantalization of her ass which drove her over the top to an orgasm by itself. Cappy was good enough to take my seed not once, but twice, though the first time she took most of it on her face. I sat there with two fingers stretching her lips apart while my tongue languidly worked on her labia and clitoris. I tickled the clit, sucking it with my lips, then blowing on it coolly. She learned how to swirl with her tongue once my cock was inside her mouth for a stronger sensation. Cappadocia liked a contest and we had the best of kinds; neither side won and a rematch was in order, definitely. "Cappadocia," I began as I was getting my outdoor clothes on, "I don't think I'm ready for first team yet." "Neither do I," she responded after a few moments of thought. "I'd like to keep training for it, though. I'm not going to give up trying, no matter how many private sessions it takes." "I have to agree, Zane. You are not yet ready and it is going to take a whole lot of private lessons to get you into 'first team' shape," she nodded. I left with a sore jaw but thinking good thoughts. I'd made two teams and had a shot at two others, as long as no one shot me or sent me to get lost in the wilds with a false map. The Solarium Why am I Living in a Glass House? I raced across campus to my dorm only to discover a sad looking girl in a short terry cloth robe sitting on the outside steps with a half-full trash bag. She perked up when she saw me. "Zane," she hailed me, "I want you to take out my trash." Okay, that seemed kind of lame to me because the dumpster was thirty feet away so I had to think quickly. "Umm," I looked her over. "Jolene," she provided. "Jolene, this doesn't seem quite fair," I pointed out, and I watched her deflate before me. "See," I said as I took her bag of trash and headed for the dumpster, her tagging along, "maybe I should come by your place tonight around nine thirty and clean up your room for you. Does that sound like a more appropriate Handmaiden's duty?" The little lights went off in her eyes. "Yes," she bobbed her head. "Yes, it sounds, amazing." Without telling me her room number, she skipped off through the doors and went off to do God knows what. I went looking for Iona who, as I guessed, hooked me up with the girl's location. Gliding into my room after that was less satisfying. "You are late, Mr. Braxton," Ms. Goodswell informed me. "Handmaiden's Duty," I countered. "We've moved all your furniture to the Solarium on the top floor," Dana rumbled. Solarium, top floor. Wasn't I on the top floor already? What was I getting into? That wasn't the most important thing at the moment, though. Rio sat on her bed, knees up, hugging a pillow and looking decidedly unhappy at the world. I turned to the two teachers and asked them for a minute with my old roomie. Dana grumbled but Virginia made her give us the space. "What's up, Rio?" I asked as I sat down at the foot of the bed. I knew what was wrong; I was abandoning her and I was not the first guy to do so. The only problem was, I wasn't those other guys. "Nothing's up, asshole," she shot back. "I'm looking forward to not having you snore all night long. Plus, I'll be able to shower whenever I want," she sniffled. "Oh, well, dealing with you has been a total pain in my ass too, Rio. It will be a relief to not have to wake up looking at you, your tattoos and all those body piercings," I stated evenly. "Hey, I don't have any piercings anymore," she pouted, hurt by the comment and its accuracy. "Well, I don't believe you, Rio. Sometime you will have to come up to the Solarium and show me just how wrong I am. I'll leave out a sleeping bag in case your city-bred ass gets lost and you can't figure out how to get back down after dark," I joked. "Zane, if they find you sleeping with a girl, you'll get expelled," Rio whispered. "Thank God you are not a girl, then, ya freak," I grinned so she hit me with her pillow. Rio was sneering at me playfully as I left; we were still friends. Outside my room, I'd picked up an old friend, Barbie Lynn Masters, and with Virginia, Dana, and Iona, we trekked to the fifth floor, then up to the roof. Now, when they were designing this kind of dorm in the nineteen seventies, the architect was on a 'Retro Victorian' kick. He envisioned a safe green haven for the girls to go to where they would be free to partake of nature's bounty without risking pesky urban menaces like rapists, thieves, and murderers. The Christian Elders liked the design so much, they transplanted it to the Virginia countryside. Of course, there aren't a lot of muggers in rural areas so the roof escapes weren't totally necessary or welcome by the student body and when the school built its twelve-foot-tall brick wall with security cameras around the entire facility, the need evaporated. Soon, all the Solariums were abandoned, the plants died, and not all the window panes were replaced. It was a pretty freaking miserable place at first glance and there was some suspicion that this was an indirect way to drive me out. But they clearly had avoided the Developing World and my long experience in it when thinking this through. I loved it. I had roughly eighty percent of the dorm building's floor space to play with. It would be a lot of work to fix it but I had been accidentally supplied with a ready and willing work force. Thank you, freshmen and Handmaiden's Duty, because amongst its other virtues, the Solarium was my room, and a freshman in a dorm room was immune to being summoned for Handmaiden Duty while in any such room unless required by a duty to go there. All I had to do was have Iona get the word out to our fellow freshman that my room was sanctuary and I was set. All that was tomorrow; tonight, I had a cold room with squirrels, maybe a raccoon or two, birds, spiders, roaches, and an assortment of other pests, plus my bed, dresser, and a wardrobe from the drama department. I had also secured the choice time of five forty-five to six as my bathroom time in the morning, and ten to ten-fifteen in the evening. How I would actually piss during the day was swept under the rug. Ms. Goodswell suggested I get a hall pass during class periods for safety's sake. College, hall pass, Did they think I should make up for missing high school? It was lights out in my domicile. The moon was waning and the sky was clear when I heard someone working the lock to my door at the bottom of the stairs. Five people had keys: I was one, Dana Gorman was another, Virginia Goodswell, and Chancellor Bazz were two others, but none of them, I suspected. I spotted the faint moonlight playing across golden locks as my intruder drew close. "Hey," Barbie Lynn whispered as she came to a stop by my bed. "I thought you might get cold so I brought you a quilt from storage." "You are a life-saver, Barbie; I'm freezing in here. Why don't you put the quilt over me and climb in so it will warm up here faster and we can both get to sleep sooner," I responded softly. It was a weak lie but it was really all Barbie needed; it was late summer in Virginia, after all. She spread out the quilt and started to get in. "Wait, you'll get your skirt wrinkled," I cautioned her before she sat down. She nodded and stripped out of it, then completed the process by stripping off her shirt, (no bra), socks, and shoes. As she snuggled up against me, she realized I was naked. "Oh, that doesn't seem fair," Barbie giggled, so she wiggled around under the covers and tossed out her undies. "That's better." I pulled her into my arms and I caught her stealing glances up at me as she pressed her hands against my chest. "We have all night," I assured her, and that earned me a kiss. "Oh, and I have your missing panties in my book bag, courtesy of Rio." I returned her kiss and soon we were wrapped around one another, engrossed in one another's erogenous zones (ear lobes, nipples, lips, and throats) as well as tempting fate with a little penal vaginal contact. After she wrestled me against the headboard and took my member deep into her mouth we had a little session of 'try doing this and watch him squirm' until I finally lost control and erupted several times into her mouth. "Umm, Barbie Lynn murmured as she rolled some semen over her tongue, eyes lighting up as I smiled at her talent. "Jesus bless me, you taste nearly as good as you look. I want more!" "Next time we can swap cum," I suggested to her. Barbie wrinkled her nose. "Doesn't that make you a homo?" she questioned. I forgave her ignorance due to cuteness. "You've tasted your juices on my lips but you are not a lesbian," I pointed out. After a moment she nodded so I continued with, "all I want to do is taste it on your tongue, not someone else's on my tongue." Telling her I'd given more than one blowjob didn't appear to be helpful at this time; I'm decidedly not heterosexual. "Oh, you're pretty smart for someone so young," she smiled seductively. I cupped her face in one hand. "I may be young and smart, but you are far more beautiful, breathtakingly beautiful, than me and one heck of a teacher because you keep me wanting to learn more," I heartily complimented her. I must have struck a chord because Barbie Lynn glowed from the inside out and virtually poured like tanned molten gold into my lap. "Fuck me," she begged with sensual need. "What about your Pledge?" I questioned. "Fuck my ass," she moaned, "it's not really cheating." Yeah, right. "Okay, Barbie Lynn, but teaching you to like it isn't easy. I'm going to have to break you in all night long," I warned her, but all I got was a violent trembling of anticipation which caused her to make my lap damp and my cock rebound to duty. We kissed deeply and with longing for over a minute, Barbie rocking in my lap, her labia brushing my cockhead. "Is it going to hurt?" she panted into my lips. "Yes. The first time you are going to scream, but I promise you I'll show you how good it can be," I assured her. She gulped in fear but smiled with wanton lust in her eyes. I played with her cunt and my cock, doing tiny penetrations until Barbie lost it in a screaming, ear-splitting orgasm, "God loves me, God loves me, God Loves ME!!!!" She followed that up by collapsing against me and burying my face in her ample bosom. I couldn't help myself; I took an overly sensitive nipple into my lips. "Oh, oh, oh, baby, that hurts; that hur, she whispered hoarsely until I relented. That didn't stop her from hugging me tightly to her chest though. "Barbie Lynn, go over to my kit and get the Vaseline," I ordered her after a bit. "Why do I have to do it?" she teased me. "I love to watch your ass wiggle when you leave and the way your bare breasts bounce when you come back," I confessed. Once more she came on with this deep kiss and a winning smile, then she did as I asked and the view was definitely as delicious as I'd hoped. She quickly resumed her position over me, shimmying to the point I was afraid I'd actually press my cock too far into her cunt. Barbie was biting her lip while we played with her virginal fire; I knew I had to do something and that was to pop the top of the lubricant and rub two fingers deep into her back door. "Here we go," I cautioned her, "I'll be slow and gentle. We are taking our time so don't worry about tensing up, I'll deal." She gave me a nod, then went back to tempting fate. I was finding more and more to lust over with Barbie. When my right index finger brushed her pink star, she didn't flinch one bit. She kept her rotation going and I slipped in a finger without much protest or resistance. I let this finger slip in and out for a minute, sinking in deeper every few thrusts. To distract her, I moved my left hand between us and slipped two fingers into her cunt. That, along with the touch of my cock, got her off. Barbie bounced harder so I was forced to put a third finger in the way of my cock penetrating her, plus I pressed the knuckle of my thumb against her clit. For a second Barbie Lynn seemed at a loss of what to do, but one look at my parted lips, panting from the excitement, convinced her to feed one magnificent nipple into my mouth while she played with the other one before my eyes. She teased me so I stuck a second finger up her ass. Barbie bucked and moaned but if she was in any pain, she hid it well. "Do you want to know something?" she struggled to say, hovering over me. I nodded. "It took a grand total of seven minutes for the last two boys I was with to cum all over my tits. I don't know how long we've been going at it but Lord Almighty, I'm so happy I was given this dorm. This is going to be the best year ever." "I'm working on it," I gasped as I twitched and pushed my fingers around. "I'm glad you are my Dorm Mother." "Oh, oh, oh, oh, the other girls are so jealous that I have you," she panted. "They wanted to know what it would take to steal you away." "I hope you understand that I want to stay here with you," I groaned. Barbie Lynn stopped moving for a moment, accepting me and my honest desire. "Put it in," she begged. "It will hurt," I assured her. "I don't care," she looked at me hungrily. I pulled my hand out of her cunt and rolled her to my side while still keeping my other fingers pumping in her ass. Maneuvering around so that I had her head on my pillow and ass sticking up took some thought. I pushed a third finger in quickly. Barbie gasped audibly, pulled away instinctively, then caught herself and pushed back against my hand. She whimpered and choked back a sob. I withdrew my fingers and covered my cock with some hastily scooped glob of Vaseline. Barbie looked back to me in quivering anticipation. Before she spoke I lined my cock up with her anus and started pushing. Barbie Lynn shut her eyes, bit her lower lip and smiled lustfully. "Oh!" she groaned, as I slipped past her anal ring. I knew enough to hesitate before the next push, then the next. "Please," she whimpered. I stopped moving. "Please give me all of it," she completed. "Don't hold back." I pushed harder not waiting for her to adjust. "Ah!" she cried out. I stopped and she responded with a, "No, no, no, Zane, please don't stop." "I don't want to hurt you," I groaned. "It hurts a lot but I like that you are the one doing it to me. Please, I want you inside of me, all the way in," she whimpered. I pushed all the way in steadily until my crotch pushed her scrumptious ass cheeks apart. As I rested for a moment, I felt Barbie Lynn's fingers reach between her legs and start to massage my balls. I pulled back while she moaned loudly, her cries echoing throughout the massive glass covered chamber. Despite the low lamplight around my bed, I realized now that we could be seen from the solariums on the roofs of the other dorms. There wasn't much I could, or would, do about that now. I started a slowly intensifying pace in and out of Barbie's ass and she met me with the thrust of her hips and a sensual moaning from her throat. I could tell she was pushing one set of fingers into her snatch while the other worked over her clit. Once we were in total symmetry I slapped her playfully on one ass cheek. "Oh, God, Zane, do it again. I've been bad," was Barbie's lusty declaration. I smacked down across the other cheek. "Harder, Zane, I've been really bad." Another spank and, "I've been much worse than that," she panted. SMACK! and a yelp. "That's it!" she gasped. I kept up the spanking and each blow made her anal muscles contract, virtually grabbing and twisting my cock inside her. "Ah, Jesus Loves Me!!!!" Barbie Lynn squealed as her strongest orgasm to date overwhelmed her and then me. I'd never felt that kind of empathy with another lover like I was feeling with this blonde enchantress. Barbie bucked up against me, slamming her ass against my crotch with painful ferocity as my seed plunged into the depths of her bowels. Barbie Lynn, now virtually sitting in my lap, crested orgasm after orgasm as the heat of each burst of my semen burned new pathways of ecstasy inside her rectum. "Oh, oh, oh, oh," she stammered as her fluids flowed down our legs in a slow steady stream. "Please, Zane , " "Yes?" I panted. "Promise me, promise me we'll do this again," she gasped as she now pressed her sweat-slick back against my upper body. "Again," I thrust into her, "and again, and again," I promised. Barbie Lynn put one hand around to the back of my neck and the other, leaning forward. She drew me into her and we slowly arched forward until the weight of our bodies tumbled us to the bed. Barbie's outstretched arm touched the mattress first and absorbed most of our momentum. Still, I ended up pressing on her and I soon propped myself up so my weight wouldn't suffocate her. As I stationed myself there, panting along with her from our mutual exhaustion, Barbie rolled over so that we were once more face to face. She had this beatific happiness about her that I doubt I'll ever forget. "I, I was afraid I'd regret this, and you," she grinned lazily. "Do you?" I questioned. "Yes. I regret I didn't take you back to my room and do this yesterday. I regret that we have to go to early classes tomorrow. I regret having to share you with nine hundred other women. And I regret you weren't here with me two years ago," she murmured heartily. "I'm going to sit here and bask in my over-stuffed sense of accomplishment," I faux-gloated. "You do a guy's ego good." "Speaking of over-stuffed, can I please, please have one more, please?" she begged playfully. "You are my Dorm Mother and I really should try to keep you happy, so, I related with feigned reluctance. "That's right," she giggled, "you really need to keep me happy. Please show me how you plan to do that." After another serious exploration of our sexuality, Barbie Lynn curled up against my chest, making this deep cat-like rumbling noise. "Do you always talk to Christina over breakfast?" I inquired. "Yes, I always do. If she asks about you, I, I'm going to tell her the truth," she answered. I didn't ask what that would be so she did. "Aren't you worried about what I will say?" "No. I trust you, Barbie. You'll tell her what you need to tell her; truth, lie, or evasion, it is all your business, not mine," I explained. "Well, I'm going to tell her in every minute detail what you did with, to, and for me tonight, and I promise you she's going to race back and change her panties," she sighed happily. From a morning shower to a Heavenly night. Sharing Umbrellas Tuesday: My schedule which the Chancellor had been set in stone, had me in sole custody of the fifth-floor bathroom from five forty-five until six, so I was grateful that only six girls were waiting for me when I arrived. At some level I was sure they expected me to say something and I was pretty sure they hadn't really articulated what they wanted. I said nothing and edged past them. The bravest one, Opal, followed quickly after me, though I had that special moment of taking off my robe in front of her as I readied for my shower. Somehow the blood of Homer's Amazons had entered this school's student body because Opal met my bluff with her buff (body) and crawled under her own water stream once the water was steamy. As I started washing my hair, I caught sight of another girl moving in on my far side. I did my best to remain nonchalant and managed to get my hair clean before they made their move. "Zane," Opal asked innocently, "would you wash my back?" I smiled, nodded, and took the bottle of liquid soap from her hands. I poured some into my palms before placing the bottle on the closest shelf. I started rubbing it onto her shoulders and down her back. The placement of our bodies was complicated by my emergent erection. I worked my way down her back until I touched, then parted and cupped, her ass. I pressed my body against her back with my cock taking a few moments decide on whether it would go up, in, or in between. Finally it slipped up until my cock rested warmly on her back. Opal was totally overtaken by events and simply stood there as I slowly rubbed my body up and down against her back. She looked over her shoulder speculatively as I reached past her for more liquid soap and poured some into my hand. Bottle put aside, I shared the soap with the off-hand before starting to rub down the front of her shoulders. "Put your hands behind your back," I whispered into Opal's ear. She was initially hesitant, then started putting them behind her back where she brushed against my cock, and again before she wrapped her hands around it and began slowly stroking it with a soapy grip. While she was working on my morning wood I made slow circles down to her breasts. Her nipples came alive under my fingertips. I first coaxed them, then plucked them, and finally pinched them tightly as I handled the rest of her breasts roughly. Opal began panting, moaning, and undulating her whole body against mine. I couldn't stop myself from kissing her on the crux of her jaw and neck. "Oh, Oh, Oh, Opal began to gasp. I felt her body start to tremble under my touch so I hunted for that most sensitive place with my tongue and bit into that spot on her neck sharply. Opal slammed hard into me, bouncing up and down on her toes like some sudsy, hot vibrator against my cock, if only I had the time. "Ah, she sobbed in joy. Even after the orgasm settled, Opal kept gyrating against me. "This wasn't what I had in mind," Opal moaned. Whoops! "My apology," I told her, and started separating from her, but she held firm. "Oh, no, you don't. Maybe you misunderstood me. This was more, much more than I expected. I'm glad you are superior to your hype. Can we do this tomorrow morning?" "Hmm, how about we see what comes up then?" I evaded. As I backed away, the girl on the other side held out her soap bottle expectantly. "Sorry, but I need to get out of here before girls, other girls show up," I explained to her. "Brigit; my name is Brigit," she filled me in. "Can we do, that, tomorrow?" By 'that,' I assume she meant my version of the soapy body rub. "Okay," I said, "how about calling Iona and figuring out how you ladies want to handle my shower visits, though I would like to point out the Administration believes I'm in here alone." "Do you want us to stay away?" Opal asked cautiously. "Opal, Brigit, I would rather go through life minus one testicle than miss spending time with any of you ladies but I don't want anyone unwittingly getting into trouble because of me," I answered. "Since you need to be going," Opal teased, "let me help." "I'll help too," Brigit insisted. I'm going to be a while deciding exactly how I rate being shaved by one girl while getting a blowjob from another at the same time. My facial expression caused Rio to laugh at me as I came back down to answer the door. It was around six thirty and I had only recently gotten back and put my school uniform on. "Either you've been hit by the world's softest two by four or you've already had sex at least once this morning," she chuckled. "Hey, Rio, Iona, come on in. It isn't like I could stop you," I joked. "So, did you take her temperature, kick up her heels, or give her an attitude adjustment?" Rio teased as we headed up. Iona looked confused and expected me to be either equally confused or give her an explanation. I was confused, which made Rio laugh louder. "Taking her temperature equals blowjob; kicking up the heels is straight-up fucking, and attitude adjustment is anal sex, jeesh, people," Rio berated us. Once we came to my island of civilization in the wilderness of the Solarium, Iona looked around curiously; this may have been the first men's bedroom she'd ever seen. Rio walked over to my bed, was about to plop down in it, then studied it for a second and gawked at me. "Damn, Zane, what happened last night? How many girls did you have up here?" she grinned maniacally. I sighed and rolled my eyes. "One," I admitted. "How did you know?" "Peach lip gloss and teeth marks on the pillow, several sets, so, You Go Boy!" she explained. "Plus, your bed smells of Vaseline, baby oil, sweat, Secret deodorant, and a good deal of fuck juice, the female variety. Then there is the matter of, she drew forth a long blonde hair, "you not being blonde." "This was not on the list!" squawked Iona. "Lip gloss, teeth marks?" "That means he fucked her ass long and hard, Iona," Rio explained to her far less experienced classmate, "and she came back for more, and more." Iona stole a look my way, hoping I'd deny everything, but I made eye contact with her and nodded. She looked disappointed in me, which oddly made me feel bad inside. "Snap out of it, Iona," Rio snorted. Iona still looked hurt. "What is more likely, Zane went trolling the lower levels for a girl to sex up, or a girl snuck up here and jumped him in his bed?" "Oh," Iona gasped, now more pleased. Apparently, me being nearly raped in my own bed was okay with her. From my point of view, I can try to understand women or I can appreciate them for what they willingly offer me. If a woman wants me to treat her like a Sphinx, I'll leap at the challenge. One day I'm sure I'll find a woman not worth this kind of effort but I'm not there yet. I had finished getting dressed and was making toward the stairs when the door at the bottom opened and Barbie Lynn came bounding up. She took in my two companions without missing her stride before bouncing up to me. "Hey, Zane," she purred. "I wanted to make sure you hadn't overslept." "Thanks, I appreciate the concern, but I slept great last night. Waking up feeling that good is always a pleasure. How did you sleep?" I responded. "I tossed and turned," she pouted. "I was missing something I couldn't put my hands on. If I can't figure out what that is I'll be up pacing the halls well past midnight tonight." Rio stepped behind Barbie and made a gagging motion. "So, Barbie Lynn," Rio requested, "do you have any lip gloss I could use?" Barbie turned around and pulled a micro-jar that she handed to Rio. "Umm, peach flavored," Rio revealed vindictively. At some point I am sure Rio will show restraint; my challenge now is living long enough to see it. Rio spanked Barbie Lynn hard on the ass and the Dorm Mother yelped in surprise and pain. "Ow," gasped Barbie Lynn, glaring at Rio. I moved an arm around Barbie and pulled her close, a gesture she comfortably molded into. "I'm sorry," Rio snickered, "but you have such a wonderful posterior BLT, I know it is a sin if no one appreciates it." "BLT?" I cautioned Rio, and by that I intoned that the next spanking was likely going to be administered to her by me. "Barbie Lynn Tease," Rio grinned, daring me to step up. As I handed my book bag to Iona, Rio squealed in delight and raced down the stairs. I was right behind her and I would have undoubtedly caught and punished her on the fifth floor if not for one thing. "Zane, I'm here for your breakfast duty," a sophomore I was to learn was named Emanuela commanded, Handmaiden's Duty. Technically she should wait until I was outside, but, eh. They nailed Rio seconds before she could turn and gloat at me. "Front or back?" I politely requested of Emanuela, who was thankfully on my schedule. "Front or back?" she wondered. "Do you want me to carry you like this?" I asked, as I swept her up in my arms. She was light enough, including book bag, for me to make it to the Dining Hall without too much effort. "What is back?" she gasped. "Piggyback," I explained. "Oh. I like this way much better," she informed me. I started making my way through the crowd when I caught sight of Barbie Lynn and Iona coming down the stairs. Seeing my situation, Barbie put an arm around Iona and whispered something to her. Iona was already carrying my books and I had the feeling that Barbie knew I liked Iona so she was going to look after the small freshman for me. Breakfast came and went and I found myself cornered and 'forced' to escort another girl to Assembly. She asked me if I'd prefer being covered with whipped cream or honey. I reminded her that whipped cream was cold but honey left a sticky residue, I suggested trying icing. At Assembly, the heavens broke and a hard rain set in as we got ready to disperse. The problem came when it was realized that many girls hadn't packed an umbrella. The answer for most was to take an umbrella from a freshman, which I found unsatisfactory. I had a sudden burst of insight as the first freshmen girls paled at the thought of being soaked through to the bone. I grabbed Iona and then made a beeline for Christina. None of what followed would have been possible without the understanding of a girl I didn't know, Pandora Jaspers. Her plan was for me to take my umbrella and cover us both as we went to class, but when I told her 'I have a plan,' she nodded and went along for the ride. Certainly we were a strange group that approached Christina Buchanan. "Yes?" questioned Christina with her bemused expression as I came to a halt before her and her court. Chastity smiled, Heaven seethed, Faith looked uncertain, and the fifth girl was a cipher. "I think I can do something about this rain," I said urgently. Christina didn't laugh but I had a feeling Pandora wanted to strangle me. "Go on," Christina commanded. "We make a covered walkway of umbrellas, held by freshmen, to protect everyone go

In this week's episode, Kayla and Taylor discuss Lidia Yuknavitch's 2022 novel Thrust. Topics include chicken stock, Neptune's gin, water apocalypse, the Statue of Liberty (and Clueless quotes about it), the sexy bits of the novel, toxic masculinity (oh hey, we know her), and feeling your feelings. Plus, we talk about The Life of a Showgirl (of course). This week's drink: Sea Foam via Rhubarb & LavenderINGREDIENTS:Sea salt foam:2 oz liquid egg whites, equivalent to two egg whites½ oz lemon juice¼ tsp sea saltCocktail:2 oz gin, such as Hendrick's Neptunia1 oz simple syrup½ oz lemon juicedried seaweed, for garnishINSTRUCTIONS:In a mixing bowl combine the egg whites, lemon juice, and sea salt. Beat on high until there are soft peaks. The extra liquid from the lemon juice will prevent the foam from becoming too stiff and some liquid will separate from the foam. Set aside while making the cocktail. Makes enough for 2 to 3 cocktails.In a cocktail shaker add the gin, simple syrup, and lemon juice. Add ice, then cover and shake for 10 to 15 seconds. Strain into a coupe glass. Spoon a layer of foam on top. Garnish with dried seaweed if desired. Enjoy!Current/recommended reads, links, etc.:Good Things: Recipes and Rituals to Share with People You Love by Samin NosratLugma: Abundant Dishes and Stories from My Middle East by Noor MuradHamnet by Maggie O'FarrellWhen the Going Was Good: An Editor's Adventures During the Last Golden Age of Magazines by Graydon CarterEat Up! Food, Appetite and Eating What You Want by Ruby TandohFollow us on Instagram @literatureandlibationspod.Visit our website: literatureandlibationspod.com to submit feedback, questions, or your own takes on what we are reading. You can also see what we are reading for future episodes! You can email us at literatureandlibationspod@gmail.com.Please leave us a review and/or rating! It really helps others find our podcast…and it makes us happy!Purchase books via bookshop.org or check them out from your local public library. Join us next time as we read The Buffalo Hunter Hunter by Stephen Graham Jones

This is The Briefing, a daily analysis of news and events from a Christian worldview.On today's edition of The Briefing, Dr. Mohler discusses the White House announcement of an agreement between Israel and Hamas on first stage of peace treaty, the big questions raised by the government shutdown, the naming of Bari Weiss as editor in chief at CBS, and the significant increase in boys named ‘Yahya' in Great Britain in 2024.Part I (00:14 – 01:08)Real Hope For Peace in Gaza: White House Announces Agreement from Israel and Hamas on First Stage of Peace TreatyPart II (01:08 – 15:20)Who Will Surrender in the Government Shutdown? What's Behind the Ever-Expanding Government Debt? – Big Questions Raised 8 Days into the ShutdownPart III (15:20 – 21:20)There's a New Editor in Chief at CBS: Bari Weiss, Great Enemy of Woke, Takes Over Important Role at CBSPart IV (21:20 – 26:57)A Parable of Islam's Rise in Great Britain: ‘Yahya' Makes the Biggest Jump in Popularity Amongst Boys' Names in Great Britain in 2024Yahya blows up in Britain by Washington Examiner (Dominic Green)Sign up to receive The Briefing in your inbox every weekday morning.Follow Dr. Mohler:X | Instagram | Facebook | YouTubeFor more information on The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, go to sbts.edu.For more information on Boyce College, just go to BoyceCollege.com.To write Dr. Mohler or submit a question for The Mailbox, go here.

Imina and Dre hold it down this week as the recap their weekend, provide an update on rapture, Dre educates Imina on Heirloom Carrots while they respond to viral stories, news clips and more fun conversations on this episode.Send us a Fam Mail HERE or thetalkativex@gmail.comMind over matter - (4:28)Jokes On Us Tour - (5:23)Good vibes over here (10:47)Heirloom carrots (14:16)Rapture has been postponed (19:09)Thats not vacation (24:40)Be a man (26:30)I go to Heaven normally (30:47)London fish (34:13)Makes sense to only me (39:03)But you wanted a divorce (47:38)

Canadian journalist Nora Loreto reads the latest headlines for Tuesday, October 7, 2025.TRNN has partnered with Loreto to syndicate and share her daily news digest with our audience. Tune in every morning to the TRNN podcast feed to hear the latest important news stories from Canada and worldwide.Find more headlines from Nora at Sandy & Nora Talk Politics podcast feed.Help us continue producing radically independent news and in-depth analysis by following us and becoming a monthly sustainer.Follow us on:Bluesky: @therealnews.comFacebook: The Real News NetworkTwitter: @TheRealNewsYouTube: @therealnewsInstagram: @therealnewsnetworkBecome a member and join the Supporters Club for The Real News Podcast today!WE'RE FINALISTS FOR THE PRESTIGIOUS SIGNAL AWARDS. HELP US WIN!Click here to vote!:https://vote.signalaward.com/PublicVoting#/2025/shows/genre/historyMichael Fox is also a finalist in the History Podcast category for his truly unique, rich, and inspirational weekly series Stories of Resistance------------Click here to vote for Marc Steiner!: https://vote.signalaward.com/PublicVoting#/2025/individual-episodes/cMarc Steiner is a finalist for Best Host of an Individual Episode 

What started on a Denver apartment stovetop has turned into an eight-figure clean haircare brand trusted by tastemakers and barbers alike. In this episode, Boone Whiteside and Ben Medalie share how they built Highland from DIY experiments into a business that redefines performance, health, and sustainability in haircare. From mixing pomades in a KitchenAid to landing in 150+ barbershops and salons across the country, their journey shows how staying lean, purpose-driven, and authentic can transform an industry. Make sure to check out Highland at: https://www.highland.style/   Check out my new book on Amazon: https://amzn.to/4kRKGTX Sign up for Starting Small University to join our interviews LIVE and ask questions: https://startingsmallmedia.org/startingsmalluniversity Visit Starting Small Media: https://startingsmallmedia.org/ Subscribe to exclusive Starting Small emails: https://startingsmallmedia.org/newsletter-signup   Follow Starting Small: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/startingsmallpod/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Startingsmallpod/?modal=admin_todo_tour LinkedIn: http://linkedin.com/in/cameronnagle   Thank you to this episodes mid-break sponsor, Edel Golf, customizing all scoring clubs to help get you at least one shot better, because even one shot can change everything. Makes sure to check them out at https://edelgolf.com/

We invite Joanna May into the clubhouse again in this supersized episode to design a game about stowing illicit goods into spacecraft as it's being built!(Note: Minor hiccup with the audio recording in the first 2 minutes, so Lydia is off mic briefly but it fixes itself.)Tangrams - WikipediaWe mention Dogpile!, a game we made in a previous game jam.Dogpile!PromptDesign a puzzle game about loading passengers and/or cargo into various spacecraft (or other transport).Game typeTabletop gamePlayer count4 or moreRulesThe ship is a pad of paper with outline of ship (legal pad sized)The interior is blank, what you draw is the interior spacesEach turn, the freighter captain draws the modulesFalse walls, freezers, to shape what you can put in thereThey have their own secret goalEach turn, the other players are smuggling things (they don't know about what others are doing)ContrabandEach turn they can put one thing in there or move a thingMaybe you have to slide it only, you can't pick it up after it's been addedEach game has an ending determination and then also a scoring systemEveryone loses if ship gets caughtHidden role game?Freighter CaptainMakes the shipContraband smugglerTries to add the most of contraband as they canHonest workerWants to add the most of the goal as possibleInspectorWants to find the smuggler

Sermon NotesI. IntroductionJoseph Campbell (not a Christian, but a student of mythology/religion) observed:“What we are looking for is a way of experiencing the world that will open to us the transcendent...”Human beings are incurably spiritual—we seek transcendence.Some through traditional religions (Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism, Islam).Others through mindfulness, energy work, nature, etc.Two key points:Affirm the desire for transcendence—it is real and God-given.Learn to discern authentic transcendence from false or self-referential spirituality.II. The Text: Exodus 2:23–3:12Context: Moses in Midian, tending sheep near Horeb.Not seeking a spiritual encounter; God initiates it.Key Question: What can we learn about genuine transcendent encounters?Two themes: Person and Paradox.III. The PERSON Moses EncounteredThe Angel of the LORD (v. 2)More than just an angel → identified with God Himself.Possibly the pre-incarnate Christ (Word/Logos).Authentic TranscendenceEncounter with someone other than himself.Not self-discovery or inner potential—real personhood beyond Moses.God is personal, not impersonal force/energy.The Burning Bush SymbolismFire = light, warmth, purification, judgment.Bush not consumed → God is self-sustaining, absolute reality, source of all existence.Childlike question: “Who created God?” → answer: no one. He is the source.Authentic transcendence = encountering the self-existent God who draws near.IV. The PARADOX of God's PresenceGod Knows Moses by Name (v. 4)God is relational, loving, intimately aware of Moses' story.God's nature = love and relationship.But… God's Holiness Creates Distance (v. 5)“Do not come near; take off your sandals, for this is holy ground.”Holiness = God's otherness + moral purity.Human corruption (sin) incompatible with holiness.Illustration: fresh snow → pure → later becomes dirty slush.Result: God is both near and distant → paradox.Resolution of the ParadoxGod Himself provides the way for humans to approach.In Moses' case: humility (remove sandals).Later: OT sacrificial system.Ultimately: Jesus Christ.His cross removes sin barrier.Makes access to God's holy presence possible.Application: Spirit is HOLY; without Christ we would be consumed, with Christ we receive Him with joy.V. ConclusionWe are spiritual beings with souls that crave transcendence.Not every spirituality satisfies—self-focused versions fall short.At the burning bush, Moses encountered:Absolute reality.A personal God.Holy presence made accessible by God's provision.Our souls find satisfaction only in the Triune God—Father, Son, Spirit.Call: Don't settle for less than the real.Discussion Questions:How would you define transcendence? Have you had any experiences in your life that you would describe as transcendent?If, as the sermon suggests, genuine spirituality is not self-referential (simply connecting with more of yourself), is deeper self-knowledge still important? If so, where is it found? Is there a connection between encountering the real God and discovering the real self? How so?Read Exodus 3:3-4. Do you believe it is significant that God did not call to Moses until he turned aside to see the strange sight? Do you think God would have still spoken to Moses if he had not turned aside? How might this speak to the lack of encounters with God that many experience today? As you reflect on that, consider Elizabeth Barrett Browning's poem:Earth's crammed with heaven,And every common bush afire with God,But only he who sees, takes off his shoes,The rest sit round it and pluck blackberries,And daub their natural faces unaware.Read Exodus 3:7-12.  What was the ultimate purpose of Moses' encounter with God at the Burning Bush? What was God's purpose for revealing himself to Moses? Is there a link today between our personal encounters with God and a greater purpose like mission?Questions?Do you have a question about today's sermon? Email Randy Forrester ().

On this week's show we look at three gadgets that we think are responsible for the year of home automation. We also discuss Dolby Vision 2. All that plus your emails and the week's news on episode 1220 of the HDTV and Home Theater Podcast! News: Live TV streamers leave viewers more satisfied than cable ‘The Paper' to premiere on NBC after Peacock success Samsung's $2,000 Smart Fridges Now Serve Ads, Owners Are Furious Other: Panasonic Blu-ray & DVD John's Streaming Cost Spreadsheet These Gadgets Are Responsible for the Year of Home Automation We have been involved with home automation for a long time and have seen a lot of gadgets come and go. The category was mostly for DIYers or for people with deep pockets. It wasn't until these  three products came out that the year/decade/century of automation was officially upon us.  Philips Hue Smart Bulb - Philips essentially defined smart lighting and is used in 50M+ homes for ambiance/security the world over. Many have copied Philips but for us nothing beats these lights. Nest Learning Thermostat - The Nest Learning Thermostat revolutionized home climate control as the first smart thermostat, pioneering the category with its innovative self-learning technology and sleek design in 2011. Although we use the ecobee and recommend it, the category would not be where it is without the Nest Thermostat.  Ring Video Doorbell - The Ring Video Doorbell revolutionized home security by pioneering the smart doorbell category, introducing remote video monitoring and two-way communication in 2014.  What is Dolby Vision 2 Dolby Vision 2 is a next-generation HDR format announced by Dolby Laboratories on September 2, 2025, at IFA 2025. It builds on the original Dolby Vision by introducing AI-driven tools, enhanced creator controls, and features that extend beyond traditional HDR, such as improved motion handling. The format is designed to deliver more accurate, director-intended visuals across a range of TVs, adapting to content, viewing environments, and display capabilities. It comes in two tiers: Tier Target TVs Key Focus Dolby Vision 2 Mainstream TVs Core upgrades via new image engine and Content Intelligence for improved picture quality. Dolby Vision 2 Max High-performance TVs (e.g., premium Mini-LED) All core features plus premium extras like Authentic Motion for maximum brightness, contrast, and cinematic fidelity.   Main Features Here are the primary features of Dolby Vision 2: 1. Dolby Image Engine A more powerful processing engine that enhances overall image rendering, enabling higher brightness, sharper contrast, and more saturated colors while preserving artistic intent. Supports bi-directional tone mapping, allowing creators to optimize content for specific TV capabilities (e.g., brighter displays) without losing fidelity. 2. Content Intelligence (AI-Powered Optimization) An AI suite that automatically adjusts picture settings based on content type, viewing environment (e.g., room lighting), and device. Light Sense: Upgraded ambient light detection combined with reference data from the source material to dynamically tweak brightness and visibility. Precision Black: Improves shadow detail and clarity in dark scenes, addressing complaints about HDR appearing too dark; creators can embed room/bias lighting info and black-level sliders for precise control. 3. Authentic Motion (Premium Motion Handling) Available only in Dolby Vision 2 Max: The world's first creator-driven motion control tool, enabling shot-by-shot adjustments to reduce judder (stutter) while avoiding the "soap opera effect." Makes 24fps cinematic content feel more fluid and authentic, ideal for movies, sports, and fast-action scenes. These features aim to make Dolby Vision 2 backward-compatible with existing Dolby Vision content (with some improvements), but full benefits require new TVs and mastered content.  Industry Adoption: Hisense will be the first TV brand to introduce Dolby Vision 2 to its lineup. These TVs will be powered by MediaTek Pentonic 800 with “MiraVision™ Pro” PQ Engine, the first silicon chip to integrate Dolby Vision 2. Timing and availability will be announced at a later date. Joining Hisense, CANAL+ is the first media and entertainment group to commit to enhance its lineup – from movies and TV shows to live sport – in Dolby Vision, leveraging the latest innovation to enrich the viewing experience for its subscribers.  

Make music! Make art! Makes games! To commemorate the 10th anniversary of Super Mario Maker on the Wii U, Patrick and Mark discuss their favorite creative outlets in Nintendo games.SUPPORT US ON PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/nintendocartridgesocietyFRIEND US ON SWITCH / SWITCH 2Patrick: SW-1401-2882-4137Mark: SW-8112-0583-0050

we unpack the Charlie Kirk assassination questions, sift media narratives vs. facts, confront the censorship creep dressed up as “hate speech”, and revisit the Epstein files as a litmus test for elite accountability. We also tackle geopolitical pressure points (including the Israel debate), analyze digital forensics around chats and “confessions,” reflect on memorial optics and power plays, and—most importantly—chart a path where faith becomes the compass for clearer thinking and better action. Where I've been, why I'm back. We open with a candid reset: how the mission blurred, why the mic went dark, and what brought it back. The answer is both personal and public—a resolve to tell the truth in a way your kids could replay someday and still find courage in. The assassination lens—questions that won't die quietly. We examine the lone-gunman storyline, angle-of-shot disputes, timelines, and the now-infamous chat fragments. Not to force conclusions—but to keep the questions precise, persistent, and public. Media narratives vs. receipts. Next, we pressure-test official statements, “fact checks,” and neatly tied bows. If an explanation demands your blind trust, we'll ask for the evidence—and show you where the holes still are. Free speech, relabeled. Then we move into the censorship fight: how “hate speech” framing is being used as a lever to silence inconvenient opinions, and what stress-tests (big and small) reveal about who holds the switch. Geopolitics, incentives, and the unmentionables. We engage the Israel debate and broader foreign-influence questions with sober skepticism and documented context—because real analysis follows incentives, not hashtags. Epstein as the honesty test. We revisit the files, the evasions, and the convenient amnesia. If leaders won't tell the truth about this, why trust them on anything harder? Forensics & ellipses. We decode the chat logs and digital “confessions,” highlight linguistic oddities, and separate what's provable from what's theatrical—so speculation doesn't drown the signal. Memorials, optics, and power. We assess the staging, speeches, and symbolism—not to snark, but to understand how grief, politics, and influence collide in public rituals. Faith as compass. Finally, we pivot from critique to construction: Scripture-anchored principles that make life better—and make activism braver, wiser, and harder to co-opt. That's the new North Star. Call to Action If you believe truth still matters, subscribe now and turn on alerts. Watch full episodes on YouTube, get deeper dives on Substack, and follow along on social for clips, receipts, and live Q&As. Your listens, shares, and reviews keep this mission moving—thank you for riding with me. All the Links One tap to everything: https://linktr.ee/theaustinjadams   Support My Business: Https://roninbasics.com ----more---- Full Transcript  Adams archive. Hello, you beautiful people and welcome to the Adams Archive. My name is Austin Adams, and thank you so much for listening today. On today's episode, we're gonna talk about where the heck I've been for over a year, because this is my first podcast back and I cannot be more excited about it. So we'll talk about what happened that caused me to drop off the way I did off of social media, off of my podcast. Uh, it has to do with obviously some of the. Political situations that are happening, some of the infighting, kind of just finding my own way and my own mission again. And so I'll tell you all about that journey and actually how I was affected by Charlie Kirk, and he inspired me to grab the microphone back and begin to continue my journey of speaking out for that mission. So then we're gonna talk about all of the happenings with the Charlie Kirk assassination. Absolute tragedy. It has now been. 13 days, almost two weeks since the event happened. And we're gonna talk through all of it. We're gonna talk through Charlie Kirk's character. We're gonna talk through some of the learnings that I had from Charlie Kirk, and all of the clips that we've all been seeing over the last couple of weeks. Uh, we're gonna talk about, um. All of the questions that I have surrounding his assassination. 'cause I have a lot of them. I have gone through and had analyzed many of the previous, uh, assassinations that were super high profile and politically motivated in the past. And through that lens I have a lot of. Questions a lot of them. And so we'll walk through what all of those questions are. We'll walk through what the actual narrative that's being given to us by the government is we'll talk through what are those current plot holes, who is talking about them. And even more importantly, who's not talking about them. We will talk about, uh, and when I say that, I'm mostly sa saying, you know, cash Patel and the FBI and the, you know, the governmental agencies that are responsible for this. Although, I would say one thing we're gonna talk about too is that Cash Patel actually came out and, uh, kind of, uh. Called it what he saw a lot of people talking about. So we'll go through the FBI director's tweet that actually broke down a lot of the conspiracies, so we'll, we'll go through that as well. Then we're gonna talk through what, what could be the political motivation to this? Who could have, this is actually been, if it's not the guy they're saying it is, if it's a patsy, who could it have actually been? Right? A lot of people are throwing out the word real, and I don't know if that's the only name that we should be throwing out in the political landscape that we're in. I have a couple other theories. So then we'll talk about how freedom of speech has been under attack since this happened, and why that's the worst possible reaction you could have ever had to Charlie Kirk's assassination. And then we'll talk a little bit about the memorial 'cause I have some weird thoughts about that, including some thoughts about Erica Kirk, although she had an amazing speech. So nothing to take away from that. But I got some questions guys. I got some questions and I'm here to talk about it with you. So stick around and before I forget. Leave a review, hit that five stars, subscribe. If this is your first time here, thank you so much. I appreciate you from the bottom of my heart. If this is the first time listening to me in over a year, I appreciate you too. I'm so glad to be back. Thank you for listening, and without further ado, let's jump into it. The Adams archive. All right, let's jump into it. So the first question you might have is, where the heck have you been to Austin? Good question. Let me answer that for you. So about a year ago, um. With all the situations that was happening politically, Trump kind of looking like he was getting into office and I kind of lost my mission in, in what I was doing this for, right? We go all the way back to the very first episode. The goal of this podcast was to give my thoughts in a way that I thought that my children, my grandchildren, could hear my opinions as to certain current events and previous historical events. And if nobody ever listened to it, that would be pretty cool to me if my children listened to it and got to hear their dad, their grandpa, their whatever, talk about these events, first person, and not have to take it from some textbook that was written for them without any additional narratives around what actually happened. So that's where this started. Then that turned into me being, uh, very politically motivated in, in a lot of the things that I saw that I think were against the better good of our country. And being the patriot that I grew up being, uh, I wanted to correct those and speak out about those things and, and give my opinion on those things and be a voice for people like you who maybe didn't have the time or the energy or the effort to be able to do these types of things or, um, you know, maybe the, the, I don't know. I would say hopefully not. Uh. You know, eloquence to be able to do so. Um, so that was some of the reasoning behind what I did this four, right? If nothing else, my children could listen to it and they would think that's pretty cool. And I would think that's pretty cool. And along the way, a lot of you guys also cared about my opinion. And so I found myself in a situation where I continued to continue, continued to talk about current events. And I found, found myself getting washed out a little bit, um, because. It felt like we were winning, right? It felt like the war was kind of won. It felt like we overcame the, uh, the wokeness that was ingraining itself into our society, and, and the, the pendulum had swung back. And so I didn't feel as motivated to take the time to speak out about those things as, uh, energetically as I had previously. And so. From there. I also have a business or multiple businesses. I have a family, and so I decided to put my time, energy, and effort into that. But now I realize after tying this into the full narrative here, where that went wrong, right? There is a bigger picture here for those children who will be listening to this, for those grandchildren who would be listening to this. And what I would say to them is, let your voice be heard. Your voice matters, and. But I think there's a reason, there's a, there's a way that I kind of went wrong with what I was doing before, and hopefully I can correct that. It fell very much into the right verse left category right. What I found to be really interesting watching a lot of the clips with Charlie Kirk is that he wasn't just taking his finger and wagging it at people and telling them what they were doing wrong. He was telling them how they could do better and then pointing them in a direction that would help them do so. And by a direction, I mean up towards God, towards Jesus, towards the Bible, towards biblical teachings and how they can improve their life. If they followed these teachings, your life will get better. They don't just tell you, you shouldn't do that thing, right? You should, well, maybe you shouldn't do that thing, and let me show you how this can help you to improve your life, not only in this facet, but in others. And so I think that was something that was missing from my approach before where I don't think I gave enough positive. Answers to the negativity that I found myself having to bask in every day. Right? There was just so much negativity, whether it was the trans stuff, whether it was the, the political landscape or the wars that were breaking out or all of these things like the, the, it just was so heavy and so negative constantly without the guiding light to push people towards. That was what Charlie Kirk. Was able to do and the impact that he had. And what we saw is that the, the biggest theme about Charlie Kirk wasn't his socioeconomic beliefs, his his beliefs on the tax regulation or his judicial beliefs on certain laws and regulations. Like it wasn't, it was none of that. Right? The reason that Charlie Kirk had such a big impact was because he pointed. People up, he ported them towards something better, even if he was critiquing something that they were doing. And usually this morality that he found himself holding was based fundamentally in those teachings that he learned from the Bible. And I, myself, as you, you may know from the years that you've been listening to me, wasn't as, uh, entrenched in my faith as maybe I am now. And I'm glad to say that I, I'm there. I found it. I've, over the last couple of years, I, I have been able to. Read more about the Bible, read more about Jesus, read more about Christianity, and have been able to find something for myself and my family that has made me a better man and have made me a better leader for those around me. And so, um, yeah, that's what I got to say about it guys. Like it was so negative and there was no better way, right? It was just, this is bad, this sucks. You guys are terrible. This is not good for humanity. It was never like, Hey, but check, check this thing out over here. This is pretty cool guys. Like this could actually help you improve your life. And, uh, and so I'm, I'm happy to say that I've found that, and, and the, the way that I plan to approach this moving forward is not that of like left verse right. It's not blue verse red and it is truly about good verse evil. That is what this podcast will be about. If I see something that I think is morally wrong, I will call it out, whether it's on the left, whether it's on the right, whether it's nothing to do with politics, I will call it out. That is the goal of this, and so if you don't like that, if feel free to leave now, that's perfectly fine with me. That's perfectly fine. I will find my tribe, although I have an inkling to think that the people who have been listening to me are also on the same wavelength as me, and for so long I have also criticized Trump and, and the things that he's doing. And, uh, I will continue to do so if those things I believe are morally unethical, including the Epstein files. Right in including the preemptive strike on Iran, including like some of these things that we've been talking about that I've been calling out for quite some time. That is going to be the theme of what we're doing here, guys. Okay. So with all that being said, I found a better way and I am so thankful that Charlie Kirk kind of paved the way for this type of discussion. And, uh, happy to say that I'll be picking up the mic myself along with many, many other people to hopefully continue his legacy. All right. With all that said, let's talk about the event with Charlie Kirk. Right? And one of the things that he taught me is that politics is the battleground for morality, but it's not the only battleground, right? There's so many other things that we need to discuss and talk about, including the health movement, including, you know. So many different topics. And so there's been a complete illusion of choice, right? It's not left versus right. It's not blue versus red. It's good versus evil. And what we saw with Charlie Kirk was absolute evil. And where that came from, we're gonna get to the bottom of it. Alright? So the mainstream narrative with Charlie Kirk is that there was a lone gunman who acted alone, who assassinated Charlie Kirk because of his beliefs on trans ideology. That seems to be the narrative, right? That's the writings on the bullet, right? He, he took himself onto the top of the rooftop and took a shot from almost parallel to Charlie Kirk, and it went into his neck and didn't have any exit wound, and Charlie died right there on the spot. And then, then some weird stuff happened and occurred that we'll talk about too. So one of those things being. One thing that I seem to have the biggest problem with here is that so many people, Donald Trump, k Patel, uh, even Erica Kirk, during the Memorial service, everybody is out there saying that. Anybody who tells you that this is case closed at this point, September 23rd, 2025. Anybody who tells you that this is case closed with Charlie Kirk's assassin, we should stop. Looking at other, other, pulling on other strings, looking in other directions, asking questions that aren't anything to do with this man, Tyler Robinson, then you should be suspicious of them. One, he's made no confession. Why are reacting like this is the guy if there's no confession? He hasn't been tried by a jury. It's not even the court of public opinion at this point because it's not the public's opinion. It's the court of government opinion. We're being told by everybody in the government right now that this is the guy stop asking questions case shut. He did it. Gonna get the death penalty. Doesn't that seem weird in a society that you are supposed to be innocent until proven guilty? That is how this is supposed to go. The government does not get to jump on a news cycle. Say he did it. We know he did it. We don't have the evidence yet besides these discord, discord, uh, discord chats that Discord says didn't exist. Right. And we'll look at those chats together 'cause those are super suspicious. So he goes on the roof, he shoots him, then he gets off of the roof right after dissembling his rifle, which would take more than a minute to disassemble. Big pothole there. Right shot shot him with a 30 out six into the neck, but it apparently had no exit wound. Very weird, right? According to the surgeon that worked on him, according to the PR agent, that works for Turning Point, that's the case because of his bone density. Okay? Anybody who knows anything about guns would tell you that a 30 out six caliber rifle, right, a 36 bullet would completely have an exit wound. No situation where that doesn't occur. That is meant for big game, right? No way. That's the case. So shoots him, jumps off there, goes into a forest, goes, walks through the back area of this, you know, of UVU, takes his rifle, puts it into his backpack while he is on the roof, jumps off the roof, goes into the woods, wraps, reassembles his rifle. Wraps it in a towel, leaves it in the middle of the woods. Just the murder weapon. Right? Just the murder weapon. The one thing that you probably don't wanna leave, the one thing decides to leave it in the towel there. Okay. Then goes to his car, seems to do something for several hours, including go to a McDonald's or a Dairy Queen, I think was where the picture was taken. The same day and then lingers allegedly around where he left his rifle during a huge lockdown, right? Helicopters, tons of police presence lingers around there for like six or seven hours according to the timelines, waiting for the perfect moment to jump in and get his rifle weird. So let's look at those text messages and see what they're telling you was said between them. And this is him and his boyfriend slash trans lover that he lived with. All right, here we go. Here are the text messages. Now, some of the biggest questions people have about this is the type of language that they're using, right? Some of the specific words here come from this bottom paragraph. Now, one thing I'd like to point out that I thought was brilliantly pointed out by. Candace Owens producer or somebody that was on the set with her is that there is a ton when it comes to the Tyler Robinson text messages. There is a ton of ellipses, ton of them. Every single sentence it seems like right ev, above each of these individual text message, ellipses, ellipses, ellipses, ellipses, ellipses. That's not written. That's saying that they cherry picked different statements from different parts of the conversations and omitted others. That's not evidence being given to the public. That's doctored evidence being given to the public. And by the way, there's no timelines here. You know how every single texting platform since a IM has told you when a message came through. They're not telling you that here. Pretty suspicious. Now, if you get to the bottom of this doctored conversation that apparently happened on Discord, but Discord said didn't happen on Discord, you would see this, this writing by Robinson to his trans boyfriend, roommate, lover. And what people are saying about this, by the way, is that it sounds like. They put something into chat, GPT saying that, oh, write a conversation between two people in their twenties where they're talking about, you know, X, Y, and Z. Right? What I would do if I was writing this, if I was the FBI writing this, right? If I was the FBI, writing this conversation between Tyler Robinson and his boyfriend, trans lover, here's the prompt that I would give it. I would say. Write a conversation between two Gen Z men. Both are gay, one is trans, and make it check these evidence boxes. One, he used his grandpa's rifle. Two, he left it in the forest. Three he wrote on the bullets. Four, he X, Y, and Z. Right? Write down the line. Here's exactly what the evidence that I need you to integrate into this discussion. That's what this looks like. Now, what other people are saying is that it doesn't look like people took the, the prompts that they put in said between people in their twenties. It sounds more like they said people in the twenties, like in the 1920s, makes it so much more believable with the way that they're talking. So some of the questions, some of the su suspicions that people have around this are this particular statement which says, I'm wishing I had circled back. This is talking about how he left the, the gun within the forest. I'm wishing I had circled back and grabbed it as soon as I got to my vehicle. Vehicle. Kind of a weird term for a 20-year-old male to use and not somebody who's. Federal law enforcement, which is what it much more sounds like. I'm worried ab, I'm worried what my old man would do if I didn't bring back grandpa's rifle. I don't even know if I, it had a serial number, but it wouldn't trace to me. I worry about my prints. I had to leave it in a bush where I changed outfits. Outfits another weird thing for a 20-year-old male to say, most guys don't change outfits. They change clothes. Most guys don't drive a vehicle. They drive a car. Weird. Didn't have the ability or time to bring it back with me. And I also should probably give you where these ellipses are. 'cause we've already had three in this singular sentence where they're jumping around and cherry picking statements anyways, uh, and changed outfits. Didn't have the ability or time to bring it with me. Or to bring it with ellipses, I might have to abandon it and hope they don't find Prince. How the F will I explain losing it to my old man, the old man and grandpa. Thing's kind of weird. Kind of weird. Maybe some people say that. My old man, like it's still going back. It sounds a little, little off to me right now. There's a bunch of other things in here, but the biggest thing is the ellipses. The biggest thing is the vernacular. The biggest thing is how weird and off this sounds for a 22-year-old. Guy to speak this way. Okay. Let's give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he's weird. Probably is. Now, let's look at the tweet from Cash Patel. All right. He wrote this, I think it was two days ago now, on the, yep, the 21st. He wrote a direct. Response to all of the cons, all of the conspiracies, right? Cash Patel says, Hey, I'm going to address these conspiracies. So Cash Patel wrote this tweet addressing these conspiracies, and here's what he had to say about it. As the director of the FBII am committed to ensuring the investigation in the Charlie Kirk's assassination is thorough and exhaustive. Pursuing every lead. Pursuing every lead. Um. To its conclusion. The full weight of America's law enforcement agencies are actively following the evidence that has emerged, but our efforts extend beyond initial findings. We are examining every facet of this assassination. We are meticulously, and I'm gonna break down each one of these for you. 'cause he says all of the different conspiracies, not all of them. He points out some of the inconsistencies in their reporting, and I'll go through what each one of them are broken down into it in detail. We are meticulously investigating theories and questions, including the location from where the shot was taken. The possibility of accomplices, the text message, confession and related conversations, discord chats the angle of the shot and impact how the weapon was transported. Hand gestures observed as potential signals near Charlie at the time of his assassination and visitors to the alleged shooters, residents, and the hours and days of leading up to September 10th, 2025. Some details are known today, while others are still being pursued to ensure every possibility is being considered. So let's go back up and let's talk through each one of these individual things that he's addressing. One is including the location from where the shot was taken. Okay? And I'd like to remind you guys when it comes to Charlie Kirk's assassination, we've been training for this, we've been studying for this. We have an entire society. Who has spent five years uncovering government conspiracies. Now they think in real time they can pull one over on us on a, with a huge world stage assassination. And we're not gonna figure this out. Like guys, we've been training for this from C-O-V-I-D-J-F-K assassination, MLK assassination, right? All of those, we know when there is a lone shooter. That lone shooter. A lone shooter is never usually the person that actually conducted the hit. That's what we call a patsy, the fall guy, right? We know this. That's the formula of these conspiracies, right? That's what happened with JFK. That's what happened with MLK, right? We go back and back to each one of these major assassinations or assassination attempts, right? You go back to the assassination attempt by Trump, which. Weirdly enough, we know far more about Tyler Robinson at this point than we ever figured out about Trump's assassinator, right? Or attempted alleged assassin. Kind of weird, kind of weird that Trump's not even asking questions about why this guy tried to kill him. Kind of weird. Trump. Trump, the guy with the biggest ego in the world. We all know it. Is not even trying to figure out why this kid tried to kill him. You know, the one that was in the BlackRock commercial, kind of weird and everybody just dropped it. Everybody dropped it. Nobody's asking questions about that anymore. We're not even exploring that. That conspiracy over done case closed, shut, bye. But we have been studying for this. We have been. We, we were born in the dark. You simply adapted Bain. Right? We have been studying for this. They think they can pull one over on us. They think you're stupid, just like they've thought for a hundred years. Just like they thought they did when they pulled off JFK, just like they thought you were when they pulled off MLK. Right? Just like they thought when they were doing Operation Northwoods or MK Ultra, or. Any one of these things, right? Go back. I got a whole list of episodes for you to listen to on government conspiracies, but guess what? We're too smart for this now, and we are in real time uncovering exactly where the potholes are, which took us 50 years with the other assassinations. We're gonna figure this out guys. We're not gonna let this go. So here are some of the things that Kash Patel pointed out. We are meticulously investigating theories and questions, including the location from where the shot was taken. Right? Question number one, was the shot actually taken by the man who was running across the top of the building from the location that was directly in front of Charlie Kirk? Well, that would be kind of weird if it was actually a 30 out six cartridge because the location. Everybody's thinking is probably more likely an exit wound, which usually, and everybody saw that video, everybody has PTSD from it. It was horrible to see. That's usually where you see that type of blood amount coming from the body. Not an entrance wound, the exit wound. So that would mean that he wasn't shot from straightforward and it hit here. He was shot maybe from this direction, which is what people are exploring. There was another location that people seem to think there's even videos online where people are slowing down and saying that they saw a bullet from that direction, right? Or I guess the direction to Charlie's right from where he was facing right and up instead of directly in front of him. So people are slowing down that footage and seeing that. So that would mean that there was not only one person on the roof over here, but potentially one person on the roof over here. Not only that. There's also another theory because they seem to have cemented over the patio area that he was shot on, right? All of that, that, you know, the crime scene within 48 hours, they went and covered the entire thing, kind of suspicious. But what people saw when they were covering that with. That there was actually immediately behind, and I saw this on X and I didn't even believe it. I thought this was AI being used to put fuel on the fire of the conspiracies with Charlie Kirk. I didn't believe this one until Candace Owens came with receipts and said there is a trap door behind where Charlie Kirk was sitting. That image is real weird. Very weird. So the question being asked there is, could that person have shot him from that trap door behind him? Seems crazy. Seems super wild. But guess what? People are crazy. Governments are crazy and they've done wild stuff forever. That seems like a pretty clean way to make this happen. Barely gotta even open it, right? Other people are looking at the microphone. Trolley's shirt and seeing how that completely moved. Right. Some people are thinking that it's a, you know, do you wanna get really into the weirdness? I don't agree with it. And I, I think this is, uh, kind of a gross conspiracy where they're saying that it was like some sort of, um, device that would shoot out the blood. Right. But other people are saying, is that where the bullet came from? There's a microphone on him. Right, so, so many questions about it. Just from that first, first statement, so many different theories, so many different possibilities, and I'm sure there's thousands of others possibilities just from that first statement that we're not even thinking of yet. The next question is the possibility of accomplices. Now, this is a weird one. There is a man, there was a man, an old man on the scene after Tyler Robinson allegedly pulled the trigger. Who raised his hand, threw himself in, into the, the, the police and said, I did it. I shot him. And that guy later going to jail for child pornography on his phone. Surprise, surprise, then says, I just did that 'cause I wanted the guy to get away. Hmm. That seems pretty weird to me. Does it not? That seems pretty weird. What person in a situation like that, they hear a gunshot. They, they, let's start from the beginning. They go to an event for somebody they dislike. Now, that's not out of the norm, especially for Charlie Kirk. He invited those people out. He wants to debate those people perfectly fine. Makes sense. Maybe he went to the location for that. Okay. Let's say that then gunfire rings out. In the midst of the chaos, he sees Charlie Kirk get shot. He decides I'm going to not only say that, you know, I'm, I'm gonna raise my hand, say that I did it, which means that he thought through, not only that, but he thought through the idea that, well, I'm probably not actually gonna go to jail for this. If I say that I do it right now, that's also gonna help that guy get away. And that means I'm gonna get away with, or I'm gonna get out of here because there's no real evidence to indict me. Because he's basically saying, I'm gonna be the fall guy for this. Right. Weird. Who thinks to do that during gunfire? Super weird. And who thinks through that far and says, well, I know they're not gonna be able to indict me. I know they're not gonna be able to charge me, even though I'm admitting to it in this moment. It's really just gonna allow that shooter to get away. And by the way, I care so much about that shooter. I don't want him to go to jail for this. I'll be the fall guy all in within a minute or two of this shooting happening. Five minutes, whatever. It's. Super weird. Now other people are saying he was on a discord chat with other, uh, 20 other people and there was a Utah L-G-B-T-Q-I-L-M-N-O-P, something about, uh, gun owners or learning to use guns within that community. Okay? Pretty weird, right? 20 people in the Discord chat. Only Discord still says that they have nothing to do with this. Still says that they don't have the the, the messages. The next one is the text message confession. We just went through that. Super suspicious. The next one is related conversations, discord chats. Okay. The next one is the angle of the shot in the bullet impact. We need an autopsy. The third one is fourth one, fifth one, whatever it is, how the weapon was transported. Was it taken down in real time? That took him an entire minute. Well, that's weird because he jumped off the building within 15 seconds. So how did he take that down? Put it in his backpack, like disassembled a rifle, which takes about a minute. That rifle specifically puts it in his backpack, a backpack that wouldn't fit that rifle. Also suspicious, then gets into the woods, changes his clothes, reassembles his rifle, wraps it in the towel. Throws it in the bush. Yeah, nothing makes sense about that. Okay, good. And then visitors to the alleged shooters residence in the hours and days leading up to September 10th, people were saying with around Tyler Robinson's, uh, location where his house, where he lived with his boyfriend that he had out of state plates visiting his house in the days and weeks leading up to the shooting. Okay, so there's everything Cash Patel is addressing within his tweet about this, but at least he's addressing these things. Now. I don't know if he really had a choice in this environment, right? Anything that Charlie or that that Kash Patel says at this point, I'm just super suspicious of because I've seen him lie about Epstein so many times at this point. Why would we believe anything that he has to say about the assassination of Charlie Kirk? Why would we believe anything? He has lied to the community. He has lied to your face. He has lied to the American people so many times about Epstein. So many times, right? We still don't have answers of why the security footage was cut at the exact time that Epstein was. Suicide. Still don't have that answer. Right? And we'll get into the reasons why. I think, you know, this happened in just a moment, but these are some of the questions that people have, right? So now who, if not he, if not Tyler Robinson, who could it be? Now there's a whole online community of people pointing the finger. It is real. And the reason for that is somewhat legitimate. Everybody. Everybody who has been watching Charlie Kirk over the last several months has seen that Charlie has been criticizing Israel, has been super skeptical, whether it's about what they're doing in Gaza, which he called an ethnic cleansing, literally word for word, just a month ago, to tying Mossad to Jeffrey Epstein, which he said just a month, a month and a half ago. With Patrick Beda, his podcast, I believe it was, and then hosting AM Fest, where he had Dave Smith debate somebody, and not only debate them, but demolish them on the topic of Israel. And how what they're doing is wrong and how it's a genocide and how it's horrible and atrocious. And then he also spoke about how he believes the Mossad and Israel are blackmailing all of the politicians in the us, not all of them, but many of them. And he also spoke about APAC and how he thinks that, you know, they should be registered under Farah, which is also quite interesting. Something that JFK talked about almost in the weeks prior up to him getting assassinated. Then you get into the situation with the Hamptons that Candace is talking about, which is the fact that there was a meeting of influencers, and by influencers, I say all of the traditionalist, uh, corporate influencers in this space, right? All of the Zion. Pr you all of the Zionist daily wire. Um, and then you have some people sprinkle in there that aren't that. But a lot of it had to do with the, you know, the, the entrenched corporate influencers that have been propped up by those types of organizations. And meeting there with Charlie. And originally the idea was that they were gonna talk about menani, the, the, you know, New York, um, mayor. And then it turned into a somewhat. Very serious, uh, cornering of Charlie Kirk about Israel and how, what he's doing wrong. And then that led to a final Stitch effort by Benjamin Netanyahu of offering Charlie Kirk $150 million to Turning Point USA. Why would he do that? Why would you offer $150 million as a country to a foreign country's, uh, media company? Well, for influence. To turn it into a propaganda arm for you, and guess what? Charlie Kirk said, no. Guess where we're at now. Just a month later, he's dead. Makes pretty logical sense, right? That's one of the theories and that's a fair theory, but I don't think it's the only theory that we should be pursuing a question that I have. Who else is gaining off of this? Who is gaining something from this assassination? And maybe we marry these two ideas, right? Every assassination in the last a hundred years was not done by a lone gunman in this political sphere. And there was always some, some of these two, one of these two organizations or groups, Masad, CIA, that's it. Now, it's not to say that there's other foreign governments that aren't doing these things and doing it in different locations, but all of the prominent ones that we know of likely allegedly had to do with one of those two organizations or both of them. So when we look at this situation, the fact that nobody is calling out the Trump administration or the CIA or our local domestic government being a part of this. Seems like a big hole to me. Why? Why would they do this? Who's set to gain from it? Well, Trump has a 39, a 39% approval rating. Right now. Trump has lost much of his base because the litmus test for him being truthful and honest and really wanting to improve American politics and drain the swamp, as he would say was Jeffrey Epstein. Then he went on the gaslighting tour telling us, Jeffrey Epstein is a hoax. It doesn't even really exist. He didn't traffic it to anybody. He was backed up by Dan Bongino. He was backed up by KS Patel. He was backed up by Pam Bombi. Right. Who also said that there was 10,000 hours worth of tapes of horrific things that they found, but then retracts that later. Right. That was the litmus test. That's how we knew if he was being honest or not, and he wasn't, and he lost his base. He lost me. I tried to convince everybody that I talked to to vote for Trump. I would not do that again at this point because he's not being honest and he's very likely a part of the Epstein files. I've reported on that before. Several times. He was on the flight logs, right? He, there's 17 different separate pictures of him at different times. He drew that picture for his birthday and gave it to him. Kind of suspicious and weird. Um, lots of reasons. Lots of reasons. So now with a 39% approval rating, you see what happened at the memorial service, which looked like to me more of a Trump rally when Trump got out there, right? Walked out with his WWE walkout song and fireworks shooting down and a a, a live musician singing. I'm proud to be an American. Right? Not amazing grace. Not, not anything glorifying Charlie Kirk's legacy. I'm proud to be an American. The same song Trump came out to, to his rallies and he treated it like a rally. Majority of the statements that came out of Trump's mouth were not about the legacy of Charlie Kirk. Now he ended most of his sentences trying to tie it back, and Charlie would agree with me on this, that we've done a great job on X, Y, and Z. Right? Then gives his big reveal about vaccines. And Tylenol and autism, right? Uses this as his podium to come out and try to gain public approval again, and we'll get more into detail on that in just a second, but I just thought that's weird. But first, before we jump into that, let's talk about this bringing up Pam Bondy's name is The Situation with Hate speech, let's watch Pam Bondy's own words when it comes to the difference between hate speech and free speech. According to her, here we go. There's free speech and then there's hate speech, and there is no place, especially now, especially after what happened to Charlie in our society. Do you see? More law enforcement going after these groups who are using hate speech and putting cuffs on people. So we show them that some action is better than no action. We will absolutely target you, go after you if you are targeting anyone with hate, speech, anything, and that's across the aisle. There's free speech and then there's hate. So let's be clear what she's talking about there, because she, she came out and said, oh, I was, I was speaking about people who are making threatening remarks. No, no. That's not what hate speech is. Right? There's laws around making violent threats, right, that are credible. But when she's talking about this here, what you have to understand when you have Republicans clapping right to the sound of her saying that they're gonna go after people for hate speech, especially in light of like this Jimmy Kimmel switch of hands where they made it seem like they were actually gonna get rid of him, but they actually didn't. Right. What they were doing is called a shock test, right? They were trying to figure out what would the public's response be if we go after people on mainstream media and get rid of their platform by leveraging, you know, the tools of the federal government, right? Because that's what happened here, is that. Apparently Trump went to the FCC Board and put pressure on them, and they went to A, B, C, and to Disney and to all of these affiliates, and they basically got him pulled off. Right, but the, the point of that was not to actually pull him from the air because today's Tuesday the 23rd and he's going to be aired again already. They were trying to figure out exactly what your response would be. Republicans, Democrats, both sides of the aisle, libertarian, everybody. They were trying to figure out what the response would be, and you guys, maybe not you, but you guys failed right on both sides of the aisle. Right. We were so against hate speech when it had to do with COVID, when it had to do with, uh, the Black Lives Matter riots when it had to do the L-G-B-T-Q-I-E, letter P, whatever, right? We were so against it until it's time for us to, right. The Voltaire quote, uh, I wholly disagree with what you have to say, and I will put down my life to defend your right to say it. Something like that, right? And so the idea. That they were testing you, they were trying to figure out how you would respond, right? And they did that. And now he's gonna be back on air. And now they know that you'll crumble under pressure. And again, maybe not you, but the general public. And so we have to be clear here. This hate speech that Pam Bondy is talking about is not going to be about Charlie Kirk. This had nothing. This statement has nothing to do with Charlie Kirk. They tried to make it seem like that with Jimmy Kimmel. Interesting timing. But it has nothing to do with that. What it has to do with is going to be your criticism of who Take a guess Israel. That will be the new shadow banning crusade. That will be the new lose your platform, get banned from Instagram, Twitter, x, TikTok, all of them, right? That is gonna be the new battleground that will have to be fought on for free speech, right? It's no longer COVID. It's no longer LGB, whatever. It's gonna be Israel. That's what these laws will be used for. And guess what? If you're under 30, if you're under 40, and even if you're on the right, generally statistically, you don't agree with what's happening and what Israel's doing, and so they will come after you. That's what she says at the very bad, at the very end of that clip on both sides of the aisle. Well, what are both sides of the aisle saying that they don't like? It's about Israel. That's gonna be the anti-Semitic hate speech that's going to cause you to get banned on Instagram or TikTok. Right? Trust me. Lost my TikTok. Totally banned from TikTok and lost my Instagram platform for, from growing for like two years during COVID because I was speaking what the truth if they, if they knew that you were lying, they wouldn't have to silence you because the truth eventually comes out. Right. They wouldn't have to label you because they know that what you're saying, right? They don't have to say you're anti-Semitic or you're anti-vax, right? They called you anti-VAX when they didn't like the facts of what you were saying about vaccines, right? They called you vaccine hesitant, right? All of those situations, this will come around to bite you. So if you are the person clapping to this, realize this is not. For what you think it is and it is always and will always be a Trojan horse for the government to gain more power. And guess what? That's what we're against here. Right? Right. That's what we're against here. We do not want to centralize more power to the government to tell people what they can and what they cannot say or think, or this is not the minority report. We're not able to handcuff people for thoughts or words. That is what our forefathers, the founding fathers said explicitly, the freedom of speech is what everything else is built off of. The First Amendment is protected by the Second Amendment, and all the other amendments have to be protected by the First Amendment. That's it. So disgusting, not something I support. Absolutely not, and just further makes me dislike Pam Bondi. All right. Now moving on to the Charlie Kirk Memorial, which I think is important to this to touch on too. There were some beautiful moments. There were some kind of weird moments, right? Some things to do with Erica Kirk that some people are now pointing out is kind of weird. We'll talk about those. Uh, so some of the things that I would like to point out that were positive about this one, I do think it's incredible that we're having a national discussion about our faith. One Nation under God, one nation under God. I think it's amazing that you had all these Christian artists out there singing the gospel. Pretty awesome, pretty cool, all the biggest ones, right? Brandon Lake was there, right? You had all these huge artists there that were, were singing amazing songs. Uh, and then you had almost every politician that was there mentioned. God, Jesus. Right? The believing of Charlie Kirk and what had brought this, this new rising of Christianity within our country. But I do think that there was some bad faith actors leveraging that name, right. Leveraging the name of Jesus in a way that I find to be disingenuous. Right? I also didn't like Jack Poso ex's talk where he was basically doing some sort of weird, like. Rally cried. His, like thinking it was like his coming out party for, for himself to take the stage and not just like honor the, the legacy of Charlie Kirk. I do think that the, uh, you know, Tucker Carlson had some amazing highlights, one of which was talking about exactly what we were talking about earlier, where he was pointing out that, you know, the, the, the very similarities of the story of Jesus and him being crucified for saying things that. A specific party didn't seem to like him saying and was alluding to that being the exact case here, which I thought was interesting. Uh, especially in light of Candace Owens and him being the one that was given a platform to speak at this event and still platforming, platforming stupid word, but still talking about that in an open discussion for this specific party, right, of people that he was claiming might have something to do with this. Right. Tucker's moment was amazing. You should go listen to his entire speech. I thought it was incredible. Uh, now when we get into, uh, Erica Kirk's moments, you know, the, the fact that she was able to stand on stage, I'm not this good of a man yet. The fact that she was able to stand on that stage 10 days after her husband was assassinated, and forgive the person that she's saying assassinated him or believes that assassinated him. Man, that was unbelievably powerful. Unbelievably powerful and incredible. And, and I also loved the part of her statement. You know, often when it comes to Christianity and people getting into Christianity, especially women, they seem to have this negative idea of Christianity based on the idea that they should be subservient or servant to their serve, their husband. And there's this complete wrong way of thinking about it that I think Erica addressed perfectly, which was that you are not his employee. Do, do treat your wife as if she is your partner. You are partner. She is your partner, you are her partner, and she's not your employee. She's not your slave. Right? And I thought that was a great way to address the women of this nation who are maybe interested in Christianity in their Christian faith and exploring it further, but finding some distaste for the way that some people misrepresent the biblical teachings in the way about the way that you should look at your wife and the way that she should, uh, you know, kind of. Allow you to lead your family, right? That doesn't mean that you take advantage of her. And I thought that was a great statement that she made as well. Now, a couple of things that I thought was weird about this, weird about the, the, the situation at the, uh, the memorial service, one being. Trump came out to Charlie Kirk's memorial, like he was about to storm John Cena in the WWE Fireworks and sparklers and music being sang by somebody in the background. God bless America, the whole three minutes, not a little excerpt, the entire thing. And then Trump walked on stage and had the audacity for 30 to 40 minutes, however long it was to barely touch on the legacy of Charlie Kirk. I thought this was completely distasteful. I thought it was gross. Everything that Trump talked about was himself. It seemed like he took that opportunity as a moment for him to try to win back the popularity of the people with a 39% current approval rating to try to, Hey guys, also, you know, this guy died, but also I'm amazing. Look at all the great things that I'm doing. And Charlie thought so too, and that's exactly how he stated all these things was like he would do a whole thing on what he's doing. That's great. Right. The, the vaccine or the autism thing with Tylenol. And then he would, and Charlie would, Charlie would love it. Charlie would love it. He would just, he would put an exclamation point that was about Charlie. He would tie him into every single statement, but none of the statements were truly about Charlie. Maybe the first five minutes, I thought that was gross. I thought it was distasteful. I don't think that was the right platform. This is literally something to honor the legacy of a great man, and you took it as an opportunity for you to grandstand at this man's podium over his casket. Figuratively speaking to talk about how amazing of a job you're doing when you know the general public totally disagrees with you on that. Starting with the Epstein files, it was gross. It was weird. Not the place, not the time. The next thing that I thought was weird was the ending, and, and I'll preface this with I'm. I am not going to, I'm, I'm going to preface this with the idea that I don't believe there's actually something, well, I'm not gonna say that I don't believe it. I don't have any credible evidence that there's something here yet. But there's something weird about the way that Erica Kirk went about her, the ending of that. Like, it was very pageant esque. Right. And she was Miss Arizona, right? Like she was in that environment. So maybe that's just the, the. Muscle fibers, the fast twitch muscle fibers, they're the muscle memory that turns on when she gets on a stage and starts public speaking, which is super fair and, and also we'll also preface this with the fact that if you tell anybody that they need to stand in front of a 10 million people and give a speech about their dead husbands who was assassinated, who died 10 days ago, and also do it next to the president, they're probably gonna act a little weird. But there's a lot of people in the public who are starting to ask questions about Erica Kirk and if she's, uh, in any way, shape, or form, not thinking either in the best interest of Charlie's legacy or something of that sort. I dunno. I don't necessarily agree with it. I did think there was a few weird points. One being at the very end with the hug with Trump, it looked very pageantry. It looked very like, uh, like a photo op. Not like you're literally actually grieving your husband's death and then you so happen to hug the president and lay your head on his chest and like weep in this weird, pageantry way. I just didn't like it. I thought it was weird. I, again, I'm not trying to be disrespectful to her. I have the, the utmost respect to her and her family. I just thought it was weird and a lot of other people did too. I'm not the only guy. Now, this started a whole thing around Erica Kirk and people digging into her background. One of the things that people are starting to point to, and I have found no evidence of this, no proper evidence that supports this, and I looked, but people are saying that Erica Kirk had this. Nonprofit that she started like 20 years ago, almost. Not sure how that's possible with her being 36 or so, 37. Uh, she started this thing called the Romanian Angels and where she set up an orphanage in Romania. And uh, there was some people alleging that locals were saying that they were in some way, shape or form trafficking children or selling them through some adoption channels in the US or. Something of the sort like that I found no evidence of that. But how many people do you know at 19, 18 years old start a Romanian, uh, children's orphanage and work with the US military to do it? Uh, I also saw some. Allegedly, I have not seen any, any validation of this. Some people saying that her dad was, had some ties into, um, like the military industrial complex in Raytheon. I saw some other people pointing out that a, she was a casting director during the time, uh, or not a casting director, but there was like some, she claims to have been in some way, shape, or form a part of the, the movie industry or some sort of like a casting person that would find talent or would, there was something around that, that idea. And people were saying it's kind of weird that at the same time that. Donald Trump owns the Miss USA pageant. She also is a part of Miss Arizona and he's also friends with Jeffrey Epstein. I don't see a connection there. Doesn't make sense to me. And then last but not least, her and Charlie met in Israel of all places. Somewhat interesting. They met for a job interview. He went to interview her, said he didn't wanna hire her, he wanted to marry her, or something along those lines. Great background story. Beautiful love story. Uh, and again, what I'm saying about majority of this is there's no substantial evidence that supports any of these theories at all. I don't. I do not think that there's anything to the Romanian Angels thing at this moment. I don't think that there's, it is kind of a weird coincidence with the Miss Arizona thing and then them meeting in Israel at the same exact time. Kind of weird, but again, doesn't lead me to believe anything. I just had a weird gut feeling when I saw her on stage. And again, that maybe is just the, the muscle memory kicking in with her pageantry and the way that she was on Trump just seemed awkward and weird and like very forced, very photo oppy to me. Uh, I dunno, time will tell. A bunch of people are looking into it a hopefully, and, and you know, all likelihood is that she's a great person because Charlie wouldn't have married her if that wasn't the case. Some people just come off super genuine and some people don't know how to go in front of a crowd like that without, you know, turning on a different mask. Uh, and I'm my gut feeling she's probably a great person and she also probably is used to being in a pageant and has those muscle memories when she gets on the stage and speaks in front of millions of people. That's what makes sense to me. All of that being said, this whole thing's weird guys. It stinks. There's something going on here. There's more than what they're telling us. We need to figure it out. Is it Israel? Is it the us? Are they trying to stop somebody from speaking out and building a large organization of youth, right? The next 20 years from now, the people who are under 30 right now that are completely against Israel are gonna grow up and they're gonna be the next stage of politicians. And how easy are they gonna be bought off when they think Israel is the literal state of the devil? Right. So something weird are going on here. Never let a good crisis go to waste. That's what we're seeing with Pam Bondi and Freedom of Speech, right? That's what we're seeing with the Shock test with Jimmy Kimmel, and we still don't know what's gonna come out from Cash Patel, but I'm glad that he addressed all of those points. Again. All that being said, thank you for being here. I'm excited to go down this journey with you and continue to bring you the truth. Continue to call out things where I see fit and I will see you next time right here on the Adams Archive. Thank you Adams Archive.

Send us a textKatie and Bridget try to look away from the Alpha Zombies running (if you know, you know), as they re-watch this month's NOstalgic Happy Hour: 28 Years Later! We've finally made it to the third movie of the 28 Days Later franchise and spoiler alert - THERE'S STILL LOTS OF ZOMBIES GOOD GOD! Come along as we meet Spike, a 12 year old boy who lives in a cute coastal town in Scotland with his parents. When his dad takes him to the mainland for some good old manly zombie hunting, he discovers that there's a doctor living there just lighting fires nonstop. Not sure how we didn't see that from our town, but fine! When Spike's dad refuses to get help from the doctor for Spike's mom, who's clearly dying, Spike threatens to shank him, distracts the entire village all at once, and sneaks mom out onto the mainland to get her some help. It JUST. MAKES. SENSE. GUYS! This movie asks the deep questions such as: Why are there different breeds of zombies now? Whatever happened to the immunity subplot people could have to zombies that was talked about in the 2nd movie? How magical IS the placenta!? All that and more in this beautiful movie to look at, though you might question if you were roofied or not while watching it. Released in 2025, it stars Jodie Comer, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Ralph Fiennes, Alfie Williams, and special guest appearance in a Juicy Couture tracksuit: Jack O'Connell.

Interview Summary You know I really like the innovative nature of Food On The Move, and I'm eager for you to tell us more about what it involves. But before we do that, how does a young, highly successful musician turn to battling food insecurity? What led you to create Food On The Move? It took me years to say I even created it. I didn't even use the term founder because I really had this sense of partnership that was a part of how it came to be. But I did found or 'start' Food On The Move because I have just a deep sense of gratitude in my life experience and also maybe a calling? I call it the tap on the shoulder that said there's more for you to do. There's more for me to do. And I didn't really know what that meant. I wanted to invest in Oklahoma and where we're from because as a musician, first you travel, you leave, you go out, you connect with people all over the world. But there's something about building and doing well for your community from the town you're from. And I was inspired by a former US ambassador. A man named Edward Perkins, who was an incredible representative of our country. He worked in some of the most difficult parts of the world representing the US and working with other nations. And his story struck me so deeply because he found ways to partner and transform communities as an ambassador. And I got to know him after his time as an ambassador because he was teaching as a professor at OU (Oklahoma University), in Oklahoma. And I asked him, I said - I want to honor your life. I want to learn from you. If I was to begin to really impact my community, Oklahoma where I'm from and maybe beyond, where would you begin? And he said, I would start with food. That's so interesting. You know, your concept of partnership is so interesting. I'd like to dive into that a little bit deeper in a little bit. But first, tell us about your organization and what it does, how it works, what it tries to accomplish. Yes. So, inspired by Ambassador Perkins' example, we set out to ask the right questions more than have the answers. And in 2014, I just basically cold called everyone in the community that worked in food - from the food bank to the food pantries and said ‘help me understand the gaps.' Help me understand where it's hard to accomplish change. And the term food desert began coming up more and more. And food deserts are communities without grocery stores. So, think of it as the canary in the mine. Sort of when a grocery store goes, the neighborhood is declining. Because they're small margin organizations they have a hard time staying afloat and when they go it's hard to bring them back because you need either a company like a big chain or a small business that doesn't have a lot of resources. And oftentimes that decline continues, and it impacts the community. So, with Food On The Move I basically brought together partners to create an access point in food deserts where it's was all in kind. From food trucks that could bring great, tasty food and give people dignity and excitement and energy, to partners that are doing food safety training and teaching people to cook. And places like Oklahoma State University extension where they train people about how to prepare food because they may not know. And so, all these partners came together, and we basically spent five years just learning and serving people in those communities. And focusing on an environment that was not about raising a bunch of money; it was really about who is already in this space that we can garner relationships with and get to know the communities. And now those events continue to be flagships. We call them food and resource festivals. They are a pay-as-you-can. You show up, you get access to fresh produce, you have food trucks, you have wraparound services. You have people that are in the community, in different nonprofits, for-profits, and government organizations that we all collaborate with. And we reach people where they are while serving and getting to know them and learning from them. And through those relationships, through those events - which we still do - what it's brought us to is the innovation and education side, and ultimately transformation. We realized in order to change food deserts, end food deserts, bring grocery stores back, that we had to get to the heart of the food system. Which is we had to be teaching people to grow things again, rebuild the local foundation of farmers being trained, use new, innovative systems like indoor growing and aquaponics, hydroponics. And basically, we had to kind of build the foundation back that's been lost since post World War II in our community, like many places. And that means a food hub to bridge farmers to distributors. That means training those farmers for the future. And it ultimately means building a new model for a grocery store. So, we are at the heart of that now with a project we call Food Home, where we are building a campus that is like a microcosm of the food system. Hopefully could be the end of this year, we'll see. Construction is always tricky. But, for sure by the start of first quarter next year, we'll be opening a 10,000 square foot urban farm, which is a training facility, and producing hundreds of thousands of pounds of food every year, and this is really the launchpad for future farmers. My God, I mean, and one of those things you mentioned would be wonderful to dive into and talk about a lot. Because I mean, each is impressive in its own right. But you bring them together, you're probably doing some of the most extensive, impressive things I know of around the country. Let me ask how you address the fundamental issue that we've actually faced ourselves. So communities often feel set upon by outsiders coming in to help. You know, it could be a philanthropy, it could be universities, it could be somebody, you know, who's just coming in well-meaning, wanting to help. But nonetheless may not know the communities or understand the realities of day-to-day life and things like that. And people from communities have often told us that 'we're in the best position to come up with solutions that will work for the members of our own community.' How did you work through those things? Well, this is always why my story elevator pitch tends to be too long. Because I want to actually talk about that element. It's not super elevator pitchy because what it involves is building relationships and trust and what I first learned from Ambassador Perkins. I'll tell you a small story of his example and it really rocked me. I asked him where would you start if you wanted to change community? Because I'd learned from his story that he had actually done it. He was sent to South Africa at the heart of the Apartheid Movement to with a mission from at the time President Ronald Reagan, to free Nelson Mandela from prison and help dismantle the Apartheid system. This is about as high a mark as anybody could have. And he had no policy. They said you're going to make policy. And what he did was so extraordinary, and I think is the mark of his success. And that's, to answer your question, he said, I recognized that every ambassador had held court. You are one step away from the president of the United States, which means you're always the most powerful person in the room. And other ambassadors, he'd ask them to come to him. But you had this deep divide between Black and white, deep divide between economics. And so, what he did was he told his team when he went to South Africa, he said, put the American flags on the front of the car, roll the windows down and take me to the townships. Take me to the neighborhoods. They need to know I'm here. And he took the time to build real relationships and build trust with communities. Black, white, rich, and poor, you know, old and young. He really did the time. And so that model, though obviously South Africa is a deeply entrenched community that, you know, especially that time. And this is kind of world politics, but I listened to that. And I thought, wow, we have a divide in our own community. And it's true of so many American cities. And where people, they see an area and they say that's not my community. They're going to come to me. And so, Food On The Move is built on we will build a partnership-based foundation which is like a block party where you walk up, and I'm a musician, I'm a DJ. So, we have a DJ playing music, we have food trucks. It smells great. You have smiling faces. You have a feeling that when you go there, you're not there, like, I need help and I'm in a soup kitchen. It's like there's a community party and you get invited and everyone's available to go there because if you want to give, you can go. If you don't have a dollar in your pocket, you go. And everybody leaves with the same treatment. And that foundation, the way we go about building those relationships, that is the heart and soul of how we are getting to the question and then trying to answer: we need more grocery stores, and we need more farmers. Because we heard it from the neighborhood. And I'll wrap up the answer a little bit which is to say we have multiple community farms as well as our own training farms. And we've worked in middle schools to teach young people to grow things with high-end aquaponics. You know, statistically the worse school in the city. But we've seen it just rocket people to engagement and better education and being fired up to come to school. But the community grow beds are the real test because you can't just drop a community grow bed and say, ‘Hey, isn't this awesome? Here's your grow bed.' You have to stay engaged with community, but you also have to invite them to be participants. And so, we work with our neighbors. We treat one another as neighbors, and you are right, it is wrought with pick your cliche. You know, the complex of the outsider coming in with money. The contrast between racial issues and economic issues. It's so wrought with problems potentially. But I believe that real solutions are possible when you build relationships. It sounds like one of the, you didn't say this directly, but one of the most important things you did was listen. Tell me about that a little more. Well, yes. I mean, I said it. I kind of coined this phrase now because I realize it's so true. We really started with I think good questions, not good answers. And so, the listening... first of all, the listening started with people that were doing work. So, if you went to the food bank, the question wasn't, ‘hey, we're here to help.' This is what we want to do. It was what's going on? You're the food bank, you guys have been here since the '80s. And hey, you're the health department. Hey, you're a food truck, like, what do you see? And I determined early that we needed to always have three pillars. We need to always have representation of for-profit, non-profit, and government agencies at some level. And so, a food truck is a business, right? They understand how hard it is to get people to show up and make a living, right? And you know, a nonprofit or an agency they know about service, they know about the stats. And frankly, however you are on the political spectrum, the government agencies, whatever they happen to be, they have a role to play. They have, whether big or small. Again, people of different walks of life have different views on that. But they should be a part of the conversation no matter what. And so, that was the first step. And then I like to say, an example Kelly, of kind of the dynamic shift is - if you walk up to somebody you barely know, you're not going to tell them like, ‘hey man, I'm not sure about that shirt. Or you got something in your tooth,' you know? Or, ‘have you really considered redecorating your house? Like, it's kind of dated.' Those are things you get to say to friends. You know, you tell a friend, ‘hey man, you know, suck it in. You're taking a picture.' You know? And so at the foundation, the questions we were asking were also why do you think this has happened? Why is a neighborhood that was a thriving new neighborhood in 1965 now dangerous and in decline. And talking with elders. And they became and have become some of our greatest advocates. And you know what? It's not flashy. You show up and you just keep showing up. And you show up when it's rainy and you show up when it's cold. And at some point people go. Wow. Like they're actually going to do this. So, you know, we're still doing it. We're not there. There's no finish line on this. So consistent with what we found in our own work about the importance of showing up. I'm happy that you raised that particular term. Speaking of terms, when I introduced you there, I used this term that I pulled right from your website about the legacy issues created by food insecurity. What do you mean by that? Yes. So legacy issues. You know, people develop heart disease, diabetes, frankly anxiety, ADHD/ADD things. A lot of stuff that's diet and a lot of things that's habit. So, if you grow up in a house that nobody ever cooked really. Because the neighborhood lost its store. Mom and dad were busy. Maybe a single parent home. You know, look, my wife and I have blessed, we have seven children. Wow. And we have a full house. And even with, you know, plenty of resources and plenty of support, it's still hard to do right. It's still hard to eat well. You know, you're running and you're gunning. And so legacy issues are habits. Eating habits. Consumption habits. By the way, poverty does not discriminate on race. Poverty hits whoever it hits, right? And so, Black and white, different backgrounds you'd be speaking with somebody that, 'like I've never seen a red bell pepper. I didn't know that existed. I've never seen What is That's a kiwi. What's a kiwi? I don't want to eat that.' You know? And so, the legacy issues are health, habits, education. Also, if you've never had access to resources, if you've never had an uncle that became an attorney or somebody that knew how to manage money because your neighborhood was a history of decline. You just don't know anybody. Or even worse, you have communities because of poverty that everybody in your family knows somebody that was in jail or was headed to jail because of their climate, their environment. And things that occur because of limited, you know, resources. And things that happen among, you know, communities with less available to them. And you have to take judgment and just throw it across the room. Just completely eject any sense of judgment. And recognize that somebody that's grown up with those different parameters, they're carrying those around. So, you're trying to restart. You're trying to begin again. And say, you know, let's get us back to having as little baggage behind us. Let's get diabetes out of the way. Let's get heart disease (out of the way) and we're going to do it by eating good food. Or getting educated. And it's not going to happen quick. It's going to happen through probably an entire generation if we're lucky. Now, let me ask a related question about dignity because this comes up in the way you've spoken about this. And in the way our country has addressed hunger. I mean, going back to when the War on Hunger began really in the 1960s, it was a nation's compassionate response to a very real issue that so many people faced. But the solution wasn't to try to give people more financial means so they could buy their own food and not have to face this. It was to give them food. But to do so in ways that really did destroy dignity in many ways. How are you addressing that and how does that term figure into the work you're doing? Well, I love the way you couch that. And unfortunately, among these discussions, people glom onto certain aspects if they have their own sort of paradigm that's ingrained. And one, you have to throw out ideology and focus on, I think, common sense. And the short answer is we believe in teach a man to fish as the philosophy. There is no way to ultimately change things if your goal is not aligned with creating opportunity, creating, transitioning folks that have not been able to support their families, to finding ways to transform that. And that comes by getting to know one another. That comes with creating education. And that comes with looking at the whole system. And so, when I brought sort of to my team this answer or this proposal of why we need to build Food Home. The Food Home campus. It wasn't just that I had some epiphany that I walked into the desert and came back with an idea. It was built around the work we were doing. And we already had somebody that wanted to build a grocery store. We already had somebody that was farm focused, thinking about food hub to bridge the gap with farmers. We had a study that was done by a local foundation that said we don't have enough farmers right now to get all the local food. And we need local because it's more affordable. We shouldn't be paying for our lettuce to travel from California to Oklahoma. We don't need to do that. And so, dignity and building the transition, the future, is about looking at the whole and being willing to do, I think, the hard work. Which is to realize our food, our food economy has to change. And recognizing that opportunity is not a bad word, you know? Economic investment in communities. These are good things. And at the same time, you meet people where they are. You meet them right where they are. And when COVID happened, our pitch about building Food Home and building the food systems and training people to grow things, it pivoted a little bit. Because people saw for the first time in a generation what it's like when the food's not there. Like you're in Oklahoma and we were the distribution partner for the USDA doing Farm to Family boxes. Food On The Move was. We had trucks that were designated for us from farmers that had been supported by government purchasing to bring food to food banks, and to resources, to communities. And we had a truck that was a state away and we were supposed to go get that truck and give it to people that needed it in our neighborhood in Oklahoma. And we were going guys, if we had a food home, a food hub, a bridge between local farmers, every community would know where their food is coming from. And so there is a food security side of this discussion as well which is that we need to have sovereignty. We need to have structure that gives us access and that builds long-term economic sustainability. And Oklahoma is a great example of this. We used to have a very thriving local farm community system. All my grandparents, my parents, they went to farmer's markets. They bought great food. And many of those folks working in that land because there's not a food hub that bridges this medium farmer to the distributors - they've lost economic ability to scale. And they do better to sell their land to a developer and grow sod or put a bunch of houses on it. And that has got to change. You know, you reinforce the idea that there's a lot of ingenuity in communities. And lots of good ideas about how to solve the problems. And many times, the people that are wanting to help communities can be helped best by just supporting the ideas that are already there. Because, as I said, we've encountered so much ingenuity from people in the communities who've been thinking about these issues for a long time. Let me ask something. You kind of began this by talking about food deserts and grocery stores leaving areas. And you've come up with a lot of creative ways of compensating for the loss of grocery stores. But what about correcting that problem. What about getting more grocery stores back into these areas? Is that something that you guys deal with? That's ultimately our mission. I mean, I say the mission is the solution so that I don't want to put it into one square box called a store. But the store departing is at the heart of the key question we're asking. Why? And so, the Food Home campus is a four phased vision. And the first two phases are underway, or about to be open with the food hub and the urban farm. The second two are a community hub, which is teaching and training people to prepare and cook food better, getting urban and rural together. And the last phase, which started as the first, by the way. It began as the first thinking we're just going to get a store. We realized you had to get the food chain right before you could build a better store. And so the model for a store, we believe, is going to be probably a hybrid between a fresh delivery and a physical place that is there living right at the heart of a neighborhood. Let's do an update on this here as we get to opening that door, because I believe what we've seen is the umbrella that allows the small store is still needed. That's, kind of, we're stepping in with a food hub. We're stepping in with a bigger footprint, buying power, larger volume, purchasing local. But really entrepreneurs where single operators are invested in owning and operating that store. They're also committed more to that store. It's not just a corporate line item. I'm interested in studying, frankly, some of the really smart food franchisees that have understood the power of creating economic models that are sustainable. But you have to connect them to a bigger umbrella to help support that medium grocer. It's going to be a combination of those things. But yeah, we have to get stores where you can actually buy your food and it is affordable and it is quality. Quality becomes an interesting issue here. And I haven't looked at the research literature on this for a little while. When I did, there was some research looking at what happened to the quality of nutrition in neighborhoods where grocery stores had left or had come back in. And it didn't seem to make a lot of difference in terms of overall nutrition profile of the people there. It provided some real benefits. Access. People didn't have to go a long way to get their groceries. Costs tended to come down, so there were some real benefits aside from nutrition. But just focusing on nutrition, of course a big supermarket brings more fresh fruits and vegetables. But it also brings aisle after aisle of highly processed, highly calorie dense foods that aren't necessarily helpful. So, the fact that you're working on the healthy food part of the equation and finding ways to get foods from farms to people, not necessarily from a big food processing plant. From farms to people, is really an important part of the overall picture, isn't it? Fresh produce is the sort of heart and soul of the food dilemma. And so yes, it is very, very tricky. You know, a little bit like how do you raise a child to have good habits? We're all trying to have good habits and we still eat hamburgers and fries because they're delicious. So, going back to dignity, I do not believe, and this is my perspective mixed with the data and the experience. I don't believe, the opinion side, in deciding whether or not people deserve certain things. And early on when we started the food pop-up events, I suggested, 'hey, call the food trucks. Have the pizza truck come have because they're awesome and they're mobile and they can show up.' And we had some folks that were partners that kind of went well, but that's greasy food and that's, you know, it's X, Y, and Z. And this is what I said to that: it's like, look, our job is first to meet people and treat them like we would want to be treated. And then we work on the produce. And so, with a grocery store, you're absolutely right. You can't just drop good food somewhere and think everybody's going to get healthy. Most people are going to eat what they like. But mostly the barrier to entry on healthy food is economics. People do not have the dollars to buy the kale or to buy the fresh tomatoes. Most people actually do, find that they will, you know, consume that food. But you have to get the generational conversation happening where families have grown up seeing fresh produce. Cooking with fresh produce. And they can actually buy it. And that's not going to happen unless we get food closer. Because the closer food allows us to cut down the margin that's going to transportation and make quality food more affordable. Makes good sense. So you've been at this a while. What have you learned? How do you look at things differently now than when you started? I learned that creating change is not for the faint of heart. First of all, you better really sort of revel in a challenge. And also, we've touched on several of the elements of what I've learned. You have to build trust. You can't expect people to just change just because you say so. You also have to be really interested in learning. Like, not just learning because you have to, but you have to be interested in understanding. And I think that's at the heart of getting to solutions. It's not even just asking the right question. It's actually being interested in the answer to that question. Like it's wanting to genuinely know. And so, these are all things I put in and I'll say the last, which is not the sexy one. It's difficult to build a good organization that's sustainable. And we've spent the second half of the Food On The Move journey building a strong team, hiring the right CEO, building a great board, having governance, having sustainability in your culture. I mean, these are business things and you know, I'm the founder. I'm a board member. I'm at the heart of who we are, but we've had to build a team. And so, anybody that wants to make things sustainable or create sustainable change, and this would be my last takeaway to your question, is you have to grow past yourself. You have to be anticipating giving that away. Growing much, much further than the bottleneck of the big idea person. But you also have to stay in stewardship mode. So, that's kind of where I am now is how do we make this continue to grow towards the solutions we're hoping for? And how do I stay engaged, fired up, focused, inspired to get the team involved, but also trust people on the team to do what they have been asked to do. I'd like to pick up on something that you mentioned along the way, which is work that you're doing on urban farming, and you mentioned things like hydroponics and aquaponics. Tell us a little bit more about that. Wo we came across hydroponics and aquaponics because when you look at growing methodologies, one of the challenges we have is our eating habits have changed. People don't just eat seasonally. We've become accustomed to getting strawberries year-round and getting all these different flavors. And you can't expect that that's just going to happen. We're not just going to change that and make everybody eat the harvest of Ohio or the harvest of Tulsa. Like we all expect good food when we do go to the store. The economics of food means people are ready to buy certain things. And for a sustainable grocery store, you need to have the things that people will buy. So, aquaponics and hydroponics are new technologies that were pioneered to create high production and high volume in areas that might have different climates. You can grow year round. The things that grow best are leafy greens, but you can grow all kinds of things. Tomatoes, you know, vining plants. Cucumbers. You can grow incredible amounts of food. A large portion of your food can be grown through these indoor systems, and they cost more to start than a traditional dirt farm. But once established they produce year round, they are more resilient with obviously pests and weather and things like that. With aquaponics and hydroponics you have systems that naturally are organic. They need to be organic because that's how they function, you know? Fish tanks, you know, that are naturally fertilizing. The fish are giving the plants what they need. This is cool stuff. So, we were led to those systems because sustainability and better food and more of it for small communities in a place like Oklahoma where you have hot and cold, and if you can grow year round, then you could have a cash crop that somebody could build a business with and provide better for that store. And not be buying it from Mexico or California. I mean, God bless Mexico and California, but we're putting too much food on a truck. And it's older than it should be, and it's sprayed with stuff because it needs to look good when it shows up, and that's hurting everybody. So, we need new methodologies. Well, and not only are you producing food, but it's a community driven solution because it's right there. People in the community can own it, can run it, can work at it, and things like that. And just it's mere presence probably signals something very positive that is good economically good nutritionally, but also good psychologically, I think. So, let me ask one parting question. Hunger has been an issue in the United States for a long, long time. And it continues to be. And now there have been even more cutbacks than before and the SNAP program and things like that. Are you optimistic that we can address this problem and do you think a local very creative and innovative local solution that you're talking about in Oklahoma, can that be exported and replicated and are you optimistic? Let me just ask you that. Are you optimistic is an interesting question because I don't think we can afford not to be optimistic. If you ask a parent, are you optimistic your child will eat, there's no choice there. Your child will eat. Or you will die trying to feed them. And I've spoken to, you know, leadership groups and rotary clubs and nonprofits about different aspects of my journey. And I think the heart of this issue is to not make it an option that we don't solve this. We cannot talk about feeding our community. And by the way, I don't mean feeding them just like I said, through nonprofit, but changing the culture and eliminating hunger in this country. And really, it's facing hunger. We can't make it an option that we don't. My perspective is, I think it's going to take, solutions like what Food On the Move is doing, which is at the heart of understanding our food systems. And we are definitely building. Everything we're doing is to try and have a model hoping that what we're doing in Oklahoma, which has a lot of parallels to, you know, whether you're talking about North Carolina or Ohio or Missouri, or Houston. All these communities have a lot of similarities. We believe that if we can show that you build trust, you then develop models, you then train future farmers. You build an infrastructure to launch and bridge the gap between small and medium farmers. And then here's a model for a better store that's sustainable. We believe that we're going to be able to show that that is a long road, but the road that is maybe less traveled but needed. And that could be the difference that's needed. So, it's fingers are crossed. BIO Tulsa native Taylor Hanson grew up in a home where artistic expression was encouraged and celebrated. At the age of nine he, along with brothers Isaac and Zac, formed the band HANSON. Just five years later their debut album was released and the lead single, “MMMBop”, hit number one in 27 countries, and earned the group 3 GRAMMY nominations. At the age of 20, he co-founded 3CG Records, allowing the band to produce music on their own terms, and is recognized as a longtime advocate for independent music globally. The group continues to produce meaningful music for its ever-growing fanbase. Hanson possesses a deep commitment to social change. In 2007 he inspired others to make an impact through simple actions, co-founding non-profit Take The Walk, combating extreme poverty in Sub-Saharan Africa. In 2014, he founded Food On The Move, which provides access, education, and innovative solutions, to transform food deserts and the legacy issues created by food insecurity. Since its founding, Food On The Move has distributed millions of pounds of fresh produce to members of the Oklahoma community, and is a leader in the movement to reshape sustainable local food systems. He has been instrumental in a number of community-oriented music initiatives, including contributing to “The Sounds of Black Wall Street”, to commemorate the centennial of the Tulsa Race Massacre, spearheading “For Women Life Freedom” highlighting the human-rights atrocities taking place in Iran, and currently serves as is a National Trustee of the Recording Academy. Hanson, his wife Natalie, and their seven children, make their home in Tulsa, where he was recently named Tulsan of the Year. 

Hello Libration Nation! Our book this week is Catwings a whimsical and heartwarming tale by beloved author Ursula K. Le Guin. The story follows four ordinary kittens born with an extraordinary gift—they have wings. As they set out to find a safe place in the world, the kittens discover both the beauty and challenges of being different. With gentle language and charming illustrations, Catwings is a modern classic that captures the magic of imagination, the courage of leaving home, and the comfort of finding where you belong.My guest this week is the amazing Dr. Julia Skinner, she is a food writer whose work includes the award-winning book Our Fermented Lives. She is the founder of The Culinary Curiosity School, and also runs Root, a food-focused community and consulting organization offering classes, consulting on creative projects, a weekly newsletter, and more. She's also the founder of Roots and Branches, where she coaches other writers to help them find their voice and share their most important work with the world. She is also a nature lover, a teacher, and a traveler who firmly believes in finding, and sharing, the magic of everyday life. She has a PhD in Library & Information Science, and lives between Atlanta, GA and Cork, Ireland. As a special treat for Libration Nation: use the code DRINKSPOD to for 30% off anything at both The Culinary Curiosity School and Roots and Branches (Thank you Julia!)You can follow her work in her newsletter, or find her on social:@bookishjulia (writing)@rootkitchens (food)@yourrootsandbranches (coaching)@culinary.curiosity.school (culinary courses) For our drink we have two options: Simple Cat Lovers' Cocktail This is basically a Kentucky mule, with an added herbal garnish and/or herbal syrup (depending on your preference) in place of lime. Stir together 1 - 1 1/2 c ginger beer to 1 shot bourbonAdd herbal syrup (below) to taste (optional)Garnish with fresh lemon balm, basil, or mint: lightly crush or roll before adding to the cocktail for maximum flavor Herbal syrup (makes about 1 quart): Combine 2 c sugar to 2 c water with a pinch of salt in a medium saucepan. Add 1-2 c packed fresh herbs, depending how strong you'd like it (like basil, mint, lemon balm, or mountain mint). Simmer on M/L for 10-15 minutes or until aromatic and flavorful. Cool and store in the fridge in an airtight container. Catwings Cocktail (tailor made by Julia!) This cocktail has a few steps, but I promise they're worth it: And you can batch out the syrup and tea by doubling or tripling the recipe to make these for a group or to keep the ingredients on hand in the fridge (where they'll last a week). The tea can be nice on its own, and any leftover syrup is perfect for adding to coffee or other beverages or drizzling on desserts. For a non-alcoholic version, swap in your favorite NA gin, or try this sea buckthorn-based NA spirit. Makes 4 cocktails For the herbal tea:(Note: you may not have all these dried herbs available. If not, just use 1/4-1/2 tsp catnip and 1 tsp chamomile. Or, just a chamomile tea bag). · 1/4 tsp dried catnip· 1/4 tsp dried chamomile flower· 1/4 tsp Angelica root· 1/4 tsp elecampene Steep the herbs in 3/4 c hot water for 10-12 minutes. Strain and cool completely. For the lemon balm syrup: (Note: You can play with other herbs you like here too, catnip, mountain mint, and/or basil might be fun choices depending on your tastes and what's available). · 1 packed cup fresh lemon balm leaves· 1/2 tsp apple cider vinegar· 2/3 c water· pinch salt· 1 c sugar Heat all ingredients together over medium-low heat, stirring occasionally. Simmer for 10-15 minutes or until fragrant and flavorful. Remove from heat, then cool completely and strain. For the cocktail · Divide the herbal tea across 4 rocks glasses (add ice, if desired)· Add 1 shot gin to each glass· Add 1 shot of syrup to each glass and stir· Top with sparkling wine or soda water to taste.· Garnish with fresh lemon balm, if desired.In this EpisodeSteering the Craft by Ursula Le Guin

Every business transaction has hidden tax opportunities waiting to be discovered, if you know where to look. This week on the IC-DISC podcast, I spoke with Mike D'Onofrio from Engineered Tax Services, who's spent 17 years helping business owners maximize their tax strategies through engineering-based specialty tax services. Mike joined ETS after working in corporate M&A and private equity, where he first recognized the critical need for specialized tax expertise during business transitions, and what struck me about Mike's approach is how his firm combines professional engineering expertise with tax strategy to deliver comprehensive solutions. They handle everything from cost segregation studies and energy incentives to insurance optimization, processing hundreds of cost segregation studies weekly across every property type imaginable. Mike's philosophy centers on what he calls "HABU" - highest and best use - focusing on their core expertise while partnering with specialists like us for complementary strategies that create immediate opportunities for businesses to improve cash flow. The conversation reinforced something I've noticed across successful advisory relationships: the best results come from specialists who stay in their lane while building collaborative teams. Mike's emphasis on maintaining human intelligence alongside technology adoption resonated with my own experience that relationships still drive business success.     SHOW HIGHLIGHTS ETS processes hundreds of cost segregation studies weekly, from single-family rentals to NFL stadiums, proving tax strategies scale across all property types. The recent bonus depreciation bill plus R&D tax credit enhancements now allow 100% first-year expense capture, creating immediate cash flow opportunities. Mike's "HABU" principle (Highest And Best Use) drives their decision to stay specialized rather than compete with partners in overlapping services. Engineering expertise combined with tax strategy creates unique value—ETS knows roof types, electrical systems, and construction costs that insurance carriers demand. After recognizing insurance as clients' second biggest pain point after taxes, ETS launched a complementary insurance division leveraging existing property data. Mike advises his 25-year-old self to surround himself with people much smarter, crediting uncomfortable situations with experts as his greatest learning opportunities.   Contact Details LinkedIn - Mike D'Onofrio (https://www.linkedin.com/in/michaelfdonofrio/) LINKSShow Notes Be a Guest About IC-DISC Alliance About Engineered Tax Services Mike D'OnofrioAbout Mike TRANSCRIPT (AI transcript provided as supporting material and may contain errors) Dave: Good morning, Mike. Welcome to the podcast. Mike: Good morning, Dave. Great to be here with you today. Definitely. Dave: So where are you located at the moment? What part of the world are you in? Mike: Yeah, well, I'm in my home base today in Charlotte, North Carolina. Dave: Okay. Mike: Yeah. I've always liked Charlotte, a pretty part of the country. Charlotte's a beautiful place, man. I grew up in Cleveland, Ohio. Great school, high school, college, so I know the Midwest and I still love Cleveland, of course, a Browns fan and a Indians guardians fan and Cavs. But moved to South Florida right after that, right after college and was living in Fort Lauderdale and West Palm Beach, and we're still based there. Our corporate acres is there, but my wife and I had originally met in Charlotte, and we love the seasons. I love the ability to, I see those mountains in your background. I love the ability, we don't have the same type of mountains as you do, but love getting out to the Blue Ridge and Smoky Mountains, seeing the fall, the leaves, and can get to the beach, can drive down to Wilmington or Charleston in a couple hours. So we're right in the middle. We're bus to be here and have the Dave: Options. Yeah, it's a great location. You have four seasons and a slightly milder winter than Cleveland, Mike: That's for sure. It seems like winters have softened up a little bit in Cleveland, but man, I remember the mornings going out to the bus when I was a little kid with snow piled up over my head and the drifts up on the side of the house. I'll never forget those days. That was awesome. That was a real winter. But now in Charlotte, if we get a dusting of snow or a little bit of ice, it's usually gone by noon. Dave: Yeah. I was born and spent the first 13 years of my life in northwest Iowa and was the oldest of two boys. So I remember having to get up an hour early to go shovel the driveway just so mom and dad could get to work in that. So yeah, my saying is the worst Texas summer is still better than the best Northern Winter is my theory. Mike: You got it, man. High five to those of us that have shoveled snow driveways, walkways, figured out a snowblower with the chains on the wheels and all that fun stuff that comes with winter. Dave: So by some people's interpretation, we come from the same place because I've discovered people not from the Midwest, they think Ohio, Iowa, and Idaho are all the same place. Mike: Yeah, Dave: They're just all somewhere up there. Yes. It's up Mike: Somewhere up there in the Midwest. Folks like myself grew up in Ohio and Cleveland and Detroit and Chicago. I mean, definitely they think that's the heart of the Midwest, but they forget about the Midwest. Goes pretty far west. Right. Dave: It does. All the way to the mountains. So, well, let's get into it. So when did you join engineered tax services? Mike: Wow, it's been a big part of my life. Exciting journey. Like I said, after college I moved down to South Florida and my background was in more corporate m and a private equity working on the finance side of things in transactions, in private equity back in the day, they would call it kind of strategic intermediary work where we would either work on the buy side or sell side with the client. So I worked with a lot of clients and business owners that were maybe interested in transitioning out of their business. Maybe they were a food manufacturer or distributor. And interestingly enough, one of my mentors in life, his name is Bruce. Bruce was one of the first international CEOs with McDonald's corporation. Oh, really? Yeah, one of Ray Croc's, first five or six right hand key people. Before McDonald's had any international business, the first place that they went outside the US was to Latin America and the Caribbean. And I met Bruce in South Florida my early career, and we really saw an opportunity together, old school style, to go through his Rolodex and be like, man, I have a lot of relationships within the McDonald's and the finance ecosystem. So we started working with many different company owners, like I said, distributors, producers of different things, and we had some great success. And along the way I saw that there was really a need to understand specialty tax credit and incentives and strategies depending on who the client was, whether it was the seller of a company or a property or buyer of that was really to dig into the details of, Hey, what's the best way to make this transaction as tax efficient as possible? Tax was always the first pain point, either from the seller's point of view, maybe there was a big potential cap gain situation, how to structure that deal or from the buyer or investor's point of view, how to maybe capture some additional credits and incentives that they hadn't thought about, like research and development tax credits, or maybe there was a big piece of real estate or property involved in the transaction, like a manufacturing facility or office buildings or retail locations. So while digging in deeper in some of those transactions, I met Julio Gonzalez in Engineered Tax Services. She's going on 17, 18 years ago, and it was a small boutique firm at the time, engineered tax, and we were very focused on serving CPA firms nationally as that specialist. And I saw a great opportunity to really become a more diverse, focused specialist, and not only help CPA firms, but help private equity, the real estate investor, anything in that transaction to really help understand the tax code for the bonus depreciation or energy credits and incentives. Sure you do. Maybe they do domestic or international type of trade in that business, and there's a structure that might be a little bit more savvy than they're familiar with. So man, 17, 18 years ago is when I started with ETS, and we've grown substantially over the years from a handful of people in a small boutique firm in downtown West Palm Beach, Julio, and myself and Kim and Heidi and others, though I think pretty well, and we've really expanded, and so now not only still working with those CPA firms nationally, to be that specialist working with other professionals like you of really just how to maximize each transaction, understand the inevitable changes in the tax code with the different administrations. There's the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act, Trump 1.0, 2.0, what happened just now in July with a big beautiful bill, but the CARES Act, the Path Act, the previous tax Cuts and Jobs Act, the CHIPS Act, whatever the stimulus plan or new tax incentive of the day was. That was our job to really dig into that, be a great job educating around that and bringing it as proactively and transparently to the CPA community as well as the investors and owners. Dave: Yeah. I became acquainted with ETS and about the same time you did, and Julio invited me to South Florida and gave you the tour of the cool office building that you all rehabbed. Mike: Yeah. Then he was Dave: Kind Mike: Enough to, was that the one on a Vernia Street when he had just purchased it? Was it, Dave: I forget the street. It was like maybe a six story old building Mike: That's still his building and our corporate headquarters on the corner of Vernia and Olive for any of you that are down in West Palm Beach, and we'd love to show you around. It's a cool building. Dave: And then he was kind enough to host me at a Dolphins football game. Mike: I remember those days. Right. Dave: And for whatever reason, he was considered a bit of a VIP by the Dolphins, so I was able to go down on the field before the game, and I think I even had a photo taken with a Dolphin's cheerleader on each side of me that for whatever reason, it never made it up on the wall in our house. I'm not sure why, if that would've been a problem with my wife or now with a photo of two Dolphins cheerleaders hugging me, Mike: Dave, I think I have different versions of the exact same picture with myself and some friends. I have a great one with myself and my dad. Maybe we'll use some technology and pop some of those pictures up for others to see when you publish this podcast, or maybe we'll just keep those private for ourselves. But yeah, we used to Julio's involvement with the Dolphins and the family behind the scenes. We did. We did some amazing, not only professionally working with those types of property owners and venues, we did the cost segregation study on the Miami Dolphins Stadium when it was renovated. Dave: Oh, Mike: Yeah, I remember that. And a lot of others, Broncos, Cleveland Browns, Miami Dolphins. I did some work on the Bridgestone Arena in Nashville, the Superdome in New Orleans, the Raiders facilities, the Buffalo Bills not allowed to give out any confidential information, but everybody's looking to save in tax and take advantage of whatever strategies are available in the code. But personally, obviously, we love sports and entertainment and being able to build the relationships with our clients, so we had a very cool double founder suite there in those early days that we used to all meet in West Palm Beach, have some fun on the Saturday, take the bus down on the Sunday morning. Yeah. We did that for years, and we still do some of that in Miami and in some different cities. I'll be doing some of it in Charlotte. But yeah, man, those were fun times. We really built amazing relationships still with clients today that actually, I saw a client yesterday that said, Hey, Mike, I was at the Green Bay game. I remember when we were down on the field and one of the Green Bay players said, hi. He is like, Hey, man. That was a childhood legend of mine that I'd always wanted to meet. And then of course, that's really cool. Sometimes we got to meet what Dan Marino and folks down in the tunnel in the Dolphins. Dave: Well, the other cool thing was Julio intentionally picked a Monday night game that he invited me to, so that made it even more fun. National game. Mike: Oh, yeah. Makes for a late evening getting home, that's for sure. Dave: It does. And so I just have to warn you, Julio was a guest on the podcast about three or four years ago, so he set the bar pretty high, so no pressure my Mike: Oh, yeah, none at all. But I Dave: Know being a former athlete, you're probably a little bit competitive, so I'm sure you'll want to point out to Julio that you think you did a better job. Mike: Yeah, just a little bit, Julio, and we spend a lot of time together. We were together yesterday in Fort Lauderdale at an event with a great mix of clients and we're real competitive from a business aspect, obviously wouldn't be great for our clients. He was a wrestler in his younger days. That was also a wrestler, really just to stay in shape for baseball. I was a baseball player. I think you had asked me before, I always keep a couple baseballs around my desk. I like to futz with them when I'm working here in the office, but think about the different strategies, whether you need to throw the curve ball or the fast ball or the riser, whatever it is. I think about just those different grips and strategies. So yes, I'm a bit competitive, to say the least. Dave: Sure. I know the firm has grown. What's your elevator pitch today? When people ask who ETS done, who ETS is and who do they serve? Mike: Well, engineered Tax and Advisory had the advisory portion of it as well, because that's engineered tax services been around a long time. We're really good at doing the specific engineering based services that the CPAs or the property owners need to get the bonus depreciation or the energy credits and incentives onto the tax return. So that's doing the cost segregation study as a licensed professional engineering and specialty tax firm, we've been doing those for going on 24 years or doing the energy analysis or helping with, like you do, calculate the construction costs, the transfer costs, the sales tax, the property tax. That's what engineered tax services is excellent at doing as that specialist as that. Dave: I'm sorry, that's more than just cost segregation though, right? Mike: Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's cost segregation and bonus depreciation available on real estate, new construction purchases, renovations. So we're very involved. We do hundreds and hundreds of cross segregation studies a week across the country on all different types of assets from smaller single family investment properties and VRBO to manufacturing facilities and multifamily and apartments and hospitality and everything you could imagine up to different sports and recreation stadiums. But that's one subset of what engineered tax does that. Then there's the energy incentives and credits, the 1 79 D, the 45 L, the investment tax credits for renewables like wind and solar and geothermal and turbines and other types of things. But on the advisory side, we work it backwards. That's more the consultative approach with the clients to figure out what is the need. Maybe there's a liquidity event with a business owner that's selling a business. Maybe there's a capital need from an acquisitions point of view or an expansion point of view where some of the IC disc strategies might come in. Maybe they're wondering about opportunity zones or enterprise zones or historic tax credits or preservation and conservation type strategies, or buying equipment or a jet and aviation strategies. Because all of those things that I just mentioned, there's either a specialty tax component with bonus depreciation or section 1 79 or an actual tax credit, like research and development tax credits. We help bring it all together as a very experienced and comprehensive specialist around the tax code, anything available, federal, state, local incentives, credits, rebates, working with the CPAs, working with professionals like you, working with the high net worth or the company owner. That's what we pride ourselves in, is being very comprehensive depending on what the opportunity and the need is for the client. Dave: Okay, and speaking of clients, do you think of the CPA firm as your client or the actual end user or both? I think because done a really good job cultivating those CPA firm relationships. Mike: Yeah, Dave, that's a good question. I first and foremost see the CPAs as our client, but also our strategic partner because remember, we're a specialist. We don't do the full accounting audit and tax filing work for the client. We sit in the specialist seat. I explain it all the time to my friends and new clients when they're trying to figure out what we do. If I was in the medical profession, we would be a brain surgeon or a heart surgeon or some other type of specialist within medicine that works together with the general practitioners and others in medicine on the tax code and helping with the tax literacy, the tax strategy, the specialty credits and incentives like icdisc. How do we bring up those types of situations and opportunities? Usually it's working with that CPA firm to identify the client need and then being comprehensive and entrepreneurial with that client. So long-winded answer to that is both. I see the CPAs as both our client and our strategic partner in situations, but definitely once I work with the company owner or the investor, they're also ultimately our client. So I need to deliver at a high level to both the CPA and both the client, or if I meet the client directly and you are the company owner that's asking us questions about a situation or a strategy, we push to be introduced to the CPA to make sure that we're collaborative, attacking that strategy from the beginning and become a great compliment to the CPA service so they can focus on what they do best, the accounting audit or tax type or bookkeeping type work that they do, and then just like you really helping to layer in that specialty strategy that maybe they're not as familiar with or really just need some help from a bandwidth perspective. Dave: Sure. I've come across other firms that do some of the same services you all do. And what do your clients and CPA firms tell you that makes ETS different and why they have chosen to partner with ETS over another firm? Mike: First of all, I think about that all the time. That's a question that comes up often. When we started 24, 25 years ago, there was very few firms that were doing some of the things that we do there. There were CPA firms that did cost segregation studies, but usually that was the higher level firms, the Deloitte, the KM KPMGs, the E and Ys, excellent high level firms, but they were really only doing it for their higher level corporate type clients as we democratize the tax code and brought that tax strategy to middle market type businesses, entrepreneurs and investors, the strategy there was really to work as comprehensively with different types of as possible. And the difference to me is first of all, our longevity and our professionalism and our diversity of the type of services that we're doing uniquely as a licensed professional engineering firm that also does specialty tax credits and incentives. That's one of the biggest differentiators to me is we are a licensed professional engineering firm. The type of engineering that we do is cost engineering, looking at the cost of an acquisition, the cost of a purchase, the cost of a new construction of a property, and be able to break that down into accounting and tax format that the CPAs can then use. So that's where the hybrid of the engineering expertise and specialty tax expertise, so that unique structure of our firm, that unique ability to do multiple things and also have the energy incentives team in-house where if it's a new construction of a property or a big value add, repositioning, not only can we do that cost segregation study, we can comprehensively do that energy tax credit and incentive analysis. We have to do energy modeling. That's pure engineering type work, doing the energy incentive modeling to see what the energy efficiency of those components are. Or on a renewable energy project. We have a client that's building a really big mixed use project that has some geothermal investment tax credits there. Those are pure engineering and energy efficiency type knowledge that we're able to bring comprehensively. So it's really the comprehensive approach of bringing engineering specialty tax energy incentives and credits. We also have an insurance division, which is very unique for our industry because I knew years ago that the second biggest painful point for our clients after tax figuring out tax minimization strategies is how do they lower costs and make sure they're protected from an insurance standpoint? And we do have a part of our firm that is engineered insurance services to compliment engineered tax services. We already have all the, Dave: Yeah, tell me about the insurance company because I'm less familiar with that, and when did you start it? Are you licensed in all the states? Mike: Yeah, we are. We've been quietly developing that over the last couple of years. I said, my background's from Cleveland, Ohio. Coincidentally, the firm that we partnered with is based in Cleveland, Ohio. When we formed a new entity together, engineered insurance services, went back to all the different carriers and got relicensed with all the top national carriers, all the names that folks would know well. So now as a nationally licensed insurance agency and brokerage firm, we focus on property casualty liability, cyber risk, flood, E and O, D and O, all the things that every company and every property owner needs. But we can do it comprehensively and uniquely because we're already doing the cost segregation studies on a lot of these properties. So we know what the cost basis is, we know what kind of roof it is, we know where it's located. We know the age of the electrical system and all the situations with the property, and also that owner, how they operate that property. That's what, just like the IRS with cost segregation study, they want to see the details and then yes, you can capture the benefits of bonus depreciation. The insurance carriers, they want to write insurance policies at very competitive rates, but they want to see it in detail. They want to understand that building. They just don't want an estimate that a broker submits to them. So we've had amazing success over the last year and a half of rolling out that program, doing it comprehensively with what we're already doing for that client. Dave: That's really, Mike: That's the other reason that we're very unique compared because there are some great firms that do cost segregation or that might do an energy analysis or that might do a research and development tax credit study, but very few firms, if any, that know about really take that comprehensive approach to be able to do tax energy insurance and the specialty consulting with engineered advisory with what we're doing, And it resonates. It really resonates with clients because I feel like they really need someone that is, first of all, thinking entrepreneurially like them, because sometimes they're not getting it from maybe their legal team or their CPA team or their other advisors that they're working about taking that entrepreneurial approach, taking that proactive approach before the end of the year or before that renewal term for that insurance policy or before that building gets purchased or before the renovation happens, what should they be thinking about? And that's what I really try to work on with our team and our clients is be very proactive, be very transparent of the good, the bad, the ugly of different situations that clients should consider and then always be thinking entrepreneurially like our clients do because they appreciate it with your business and what you do with IC disc. Sometimes folks just haven't heard about it or they don't understand it, or they didn't do something proactively and now they're trying to unwind a situation, but I'm really excited about what we do. If you can't tell, I think, No, it definitely comes, the future is very strong, especially with the passage in July of Trump's, I call it the big beautiful bonus depreciation tax bill because bonus depreciation and section 1 79 enhancements for equipment and other things and other things that will be, I think, expanded with opportunity zones and research and development tax credits. The way that they also just enhanced that program as well. Many folks don't understand it yet because there was a requirement to amortize some of the expenses of r and d over five years, but now you get the research and development tax credit plus a hundred percent of the qualifying expenses being able to be captured year one, so that's very powerful for US companies. Dave: Yeah, no, that is great. And one of the other things that I appreciate about you all is that you all really stay in your lane. I feel like on the tax side, there's other firms that do cost and r and d that have just broadened their tax focus even more broadly, pick up things like the IC disc. So it's hard for me to get excited about referring a cost segregation study to a firm that does IC disc, so I've always, Mike: Yeah, it's a bit of a competitive overlap in those situations. Dave: Yeah, yeah. It's a less comfortable introduction. Mike: We have a saying within our organization, we call it habu, right? Highest and best use, what is my highest and best use? What should I be focused on doing for that client? My highest and best use is not trying to understand and replicate your service around icdisc. The best situation is for me to recognize opportunities and then bring in David and his team to implement a strategy for the client and the CPAs like that as well, because we're not trying to do what they do. We're just trying to compliment different situations, be a specialist at what we're really good at, and in our engineered advisory platform. That's where I can bring in you for the IC disc. I might have someone else that I'm working with if that client's buying an aircraft, for example, of how to legally structure it correctly, how to maximize the tax benefits, and I want to be an amazing, whether you want to call it an offensive coordinator or quarterback, that I might be throwing the ball sometimes. Other times I might be passing it off to somebody else, but I want to build a great team so that we're successful at the end for the client. Dave: Sure. No, that's certainly been my experience with you guys. What do you love most or enjoy most about your current role with ETS? What really gets you excited? Mike: Well, my title, I'm not big on titles, but it's managing Director of Engineered Tax and Advisory. So technically what that title means is I direct and I manage, I direct high level client relationships and strategic partnerships and strategies and new product development. I also help manage our, I work together with our executive team to help manage our executives across the country, either if they're in business development, some of them obviously are in engineering or other specialties within our firm or the legal team that does some structuring work for clients, but that's what I do. My favorite part of what I do is the relationships that I'm building with the clients. It might be a brand new relationship. It might be one from 15, 20 years ago, but it's watching that. Yeah, it's watching that CPA firm grow or helping that CPA firm grow and expand or diversify their services or meeting that entrepreneur that has a business and they're trying to understand the tax code, how to lower taxes, how do I increase cashflow? What are the risks or pitfalls, and really working with that entrepreneur or that business owner together with that ccp. That is my most favorite part of what I do, because I'm an entrepreneur at heart. I got it from my family, my mom and dad. Were always very entrepreneurial, but it's hard. You can't do it yourself. It takes a great team. I mentioned a couple of mentors that I worked with. I hope that one day I can be a mentor to some of these people that we've worked with over the years, and maybe it is the specialty tax or the energy incentives or the structuring or strategy, but also personally, we learn a lot about our clients and we share a lot personally with them. But that's absolutely my most favorite is the relationships that we've built, the stories and the journeys that we've had together. And if we do a good job, we actually do very little marketing and advertising out there. Of course, I speak at some events and do some sessions around the country, but largely our business has expanded very successfully because of those relationships and those referrals and that organic growth. Like, Hey, have you heard about engineered tax? And do you know what Mike does? You should give him a call. I watch my emails every day, and that's what makes me so happy is I remember that relationship. I remember that Miami Dolphins game, whoever it was, or the dinner that we might've had, or the beer that we might have shared somewhere where we personally built that relationship, And that's something that I'm even more so focused on right now because our world is now moving very fast in terms of technology and ai, and I think that's great, and we are a tech enabled company that we utilize those things to deliver our services and strategies as efficiently as possible for the client. But I think even more so right now, it's all about, hi again, human intelligence. We want to talk, just like you and I are doing right now, folks want to meet, yes, they want tech enabled strategies and AI to help us do things better. I think that's great, but I have, and we have a renewed focus on the human intelligence, the human relationship, the human strategy together, because I think we can do so much more if we get back to the old school relationship building strategy, building together at the human level, and then of course we'll utilize technology to make that better, faster, stronger. Dave: Yeah, no, and that's certainly that. Those relationships are certainly my favorite part of the business. The clients, the CPA firms, the other advisors, lawyers, you guys. So man, I can't believe how the time has flown by. So as we're rounding the home stretch, I have just a couple more questions. Mike: All right. Dave: If you could go back in time and give advice to your 25-year-old self, what advice might you give? Mike: Continue to surround myself with people much smarter than me. As I look back, the biggest opportunities that I had was being in what I thought at the time was uncomfortable situations with people that like, wow, this person really knows what they're doing with real estate, or This person really knows what they're doing with finance. But now looking back those situations of surrounding myself with really smart or savvy people or someone much more experienced than I was, that's where I really learned the opportunities around real estate development, around relationship building, around strategy, and structuring. Those mentors that I spent time with. I would tap myself on the shoulder and say, do more of that. Do more of that. If there's people that are wasting my time or going down avenues that really aren't good for me professionally or personally, don't waste time with that. Put myself in the room at the table in uncomfortable situations with people much smarter than myself. And even today, I try to do that every day is with some of the new technologies around AI or crypto or finance or strategy or real estate. Who are the innovators? Who are the people that really seem to be leading? I try to put myself in those situations, so that's what I would remind my young self is to take advantage of mentors, because you can really learn, and sometimes it's not until years later that you realized what you learned. Dave: Yeah. I think that's great advice, not only for your 25-year-old self, but any 25-year-old and probably any business professional who's still trying to learn and grow. Mike: Yeah. One other thing. Dave: Yeah, Mike: One more thing. As Steve Jobs used to say, don't focus on, I would tell myself not to focus on what I think the path is at that point, because the path is going to change the strategy, the job course of action, the winds are going to change. Ebb and flow, I always say is my personal mantra. The tide comes in, the tide comes out, but you can always learn to surf. You can't stop the waves, but you can always learn to surf. So don't try to be too tactful in the direction that you're going, because things will change. Companies will change and expect that change is what I'm trying to say. So expect the change that will continue to happen in our lives. Dave: Okay. Well, yeah, I like that. Thank you very much. So as we wrap up, I really just have one more question, and that is, is there anything I didn't ask you that you wish I had asked V? Anything we didn't talk about that we should have? Mike: You asked some really good questions. It sounds like we could talk all afternoon if we wanted to. The only thing you didn't ask me is about my family, and actually the thing I'm most proud of, I mentioned I live in Charlotte, North Carolina. My wife Laura, has been an amazing force in our relationship for stability and really helping me to do what I do because being on the road, it's very challenging. But my son Rocco and my daughter Lucia, are getting old and driving now as later stage teenagers. It's having those rocks behind me that really help with this ability to allow me to do what I do with our clients nationally. So I really appreciate them, and that's my other, that is my most favorite accomplishment in life of what I've been able to achieve with my family and do this professionally with engineered tech services and advisory. Dave: Yeah, understood. Yeah, because ultimately it's about relationships, both professional and personal at the end of the day. Well, anything else we didn't cover or shall we go ahead and wrap it up? Mike: I think we covered enough for now. I think we might have more to talk about. Again, I have some other ideas of topics we should talk about coming up here in the fall. There'll be some new things that we're doing. Dave: Let's do that. We'll have you back, not too distant. Future for a part two. Mike: All right. Dave: Well, Mike, I really, really appreciate the opportunity to work with you and the whole team, and you guys have taken great care of our clients. We really appreciate that and we appreciate the trust you all have placed in us to serve some of your clients as Mike: Well. Thanks, Dave. I appreciate you. Special Guest: Mike D'Onofrio.

Send us a textKatie and Bridget refuse to get on the train to the quarantined zombie land as they re-watch the 2nd installment in the series: 28 Weeks Later! We're back in London where apparently all the zombies have starved out and now the AMERICAN ARMY has come in to take over because that JUST. MAKES. SENSE!(?!) But unfortunately our beloved characters from the 1st movie are nowhere to be seen. Instead we've got siblings Andy and Tammy who are being reunited with their Dad, who shall be known as "Fucking-Don". When they find their Mom alive and well after their Dad gaslighted them into thinking he didn't leave her for dead, chaos ensues and yet another god damn zombie apocalypse commences. Although this time we at least have Jeremy Renner and Idris Elba to look at throughout it, so that's cool. We've got loads of questions, unlikeable/unknown characters, and little to no fun ethical conversations in this sequel to 28 Days Later, which doesn't really compare in the slightest. Released in 2007, it stars Jeremy Renner, Rose Byrne, Robert Carlyle, Harold Perrineau, Catherine McCormack, Idris Elba, Imogen Poots, and Mackintosh Muggleton.

Welcome to this inaugural episode of our series Called to Worship! Co-hosts John Shimp and Pastor Karl Dyrli lay the foundation for this new series with a biblical overview of what worship truly is. They explore the mission of Fellowship Church and of Fellowship's Worship Ministry, helping us see why gathered worship as a local church is not only vital but commanded by God.   In this episode, they address common misconceptions about worship, point us back to the truth of Scripture, and remind us that every believer is called to worship—both individually and as a gathered people for the glory of God.   Start here to be encouraged and equipped to embrace your God-given calling to worship him with your whole heart.   Resources & Links I Am a Church Member: Discovering the Attitude that Makes the Difference by Thom S. Rainer

Title: From Hustle to Holdings: The Smarter Path to Passive Wealth With J. Scott Summary: In this episode of the Passive Income Attorney Podcast, host Seth Bradley discusses the importance of transitioning from active to passive income with guest Jay Scott, a seasoned real estate investor. They explore various investment strategies, the significance of due diligence in syndication, and the differences between house flipping and multifamily investments. Jay shares his journey from tech to real estate, emphasizing the need for teamwork in multifamily projects and the importance of understanding market conditions. The conversation concludes with actionable insights for listeners looking to create financial freedom through passive income. Links to watch and subscribe: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V26Rze2S9TM Bullet Point Highlights: Active income is trading time for money, while passive income allows for financial freedom. Investors should focus on the highest and best use of their time. Flipping houses can be tedious and may not be the best use of time for high-income earners. Transitioning to multifamily investments can provide more control and cash flow. Market conditions can significantly impact investment strategies and outcomes. Due diligence is crucial when vetting syndication sponsors and deals. Understanding the underwriting process is essential for passive investors. Building a strong team is vital for success in multifamily investments. Investors should seek to understand the risks associated with their investments. Passive income allows for a lifestyle centered around family and personal interests. Transcript: Seth Bradley (00:10.188) What's going on, law nation? Welcome to the Passive Income Attorney Podcast, your favorite place for learning about the world of alternative passive investments so that you can practice when you want to and not because you have to. Now, if you're ready to kick that billable out of the curb, start by going to attorneybydesign.com to download the Freedom Blueprint, which will also get you access to partner with us on one of our next passive real estate investments. All right, let's talk about   the highest and best use of your time. We've talked about active versus passive income and for good reason, they are completely different. They're on opposite sides of the spectrum. When we talk about active income, we're talking about your job as an attorney, as a doctor or a business owner, where you trade your time in for money out. Depending on your skill set, background, education, work ethic, et cetera,   You know, this could be a great use of your time or it could be a terrible one. But when most people think about getting into real estate investing, they're torn. Should you do a fix and flip like you saw on HGTV? Should you invest in a REIT like your financial advisor and Charles Schwab told you to do? Should you buy a single family rental or invest in a syndication? There are endless options so I can understand why it's so confusing. Well, start with this.   ask yourself, what's the highest and best use of my time? If you're thinking about doing an HGTV fix and flip and your partner at a big law firm, for example, is that flip really the best use of your time? And don't be mistaken, a flip is transactional and it is active. So will you make more per hour on that fix and flip than you would at your job?   After you factor in the learning curve, the deal sourcing, the headaches, what it takes away from your job and everything else, it's not even close. Unless you truly love doing it, which some people do, it just doesn't make sense for high income earners. You should be focusing on transforming the income you earn actively into passive income streams. At different levels on the passive scale, that could very well be a single family rental or an Airbnb.   Seth Bradley (02:34.26) or could be passive investments into commercial syndications. But if you truly want to obtain financial freedom as quickly as possible, don't create more time consuming activities that aren't as fruitful as the active income stream that you already have. Focus on passive investments until you are financially free. And then you will have the freedom to transition or not into any   active activity you have a passion for. Today, we have a very special guest, Mr. Jay Scott of Bigger Pocket fame. Jay is an entrepreneur, investor, advisor, and the co-host of the Bigger Pockets Business Podcast. He has bought, built, rehab, sold, syndicated, and held over $70 million in residential property, and currently owns several hundred units. Jay is the author of four bestselling books on real estate investing,   with sales of over 300,000 copies. Get really excited for this, folks. You're in for a treat.   This is the Passive Income Attorney Podcast, where you'll discover the secrets and strategies of the ultra wealthy on how they build streams of passive income to give them the freedom we all want. Attorney Seth Bradley will help you end the cycle of trading your time for money so you can make money while you sleep. Start living the good life on your own terms. Now, here's your host, Seth Bradley.   Jay Scott, what's going on, brother? Welcome to the show.   Scott (04:09.196) Thanks. Appreciate you having me here Seth.   Absolutely, man. Appreciate you taking the time out of your day, We've got a little bit of history, but let's jump into your history, man. What's your story? Tell us about your background. Take it back as far you'd like to.   Yeah, I'll keep it short because nobody really cares about what I used to do. So I'm a tech guy by education and former trade. I worked in Silicon Valley for a long time, spent about 15 years doing the engineering thing and the product management thing. 2008 decided to get married. My wife and I, she was in the tech world also. We decided to leave and do something different so we could start a family.   focus on our family. Basically, we were both working ridiculous hours and it just wasn't sustainable if we wanted to start a family. So put our jobs in 2008, moved to the East coast, ended up flipping houses. Long, boring story about how that started, just kind of serendipitous. We didn't really plan it, never really considered real estate, but fell into flipping houses. Over the next eight years or so, we flipped about 400, 450 houses, was great. It ended up being the,   next career we were looking for, it gave us the flexibility to kind of raise our kids and never have to miss a soccer game or a piano recital, which was fantastic. But then around 2017-ish really got burned out on flipping houses and that's when I started to look for some new stuff to do. and that kind of leads me into what I've been doing the last few years.   Seth Bradley (05:41.742) That's awesome, man. That's a ton of houses you flip, man. think that that's, know, a lot of the folks who've been in the game for a long time, they've heard you speak on, you know, on bigger pockets and all of that. So, you know, what attracted you originally to house flipping rather than, you know, buy it holds or anything like that?   So I'll be honest, I don't love real estate. I love business. I'm a business guy. like when I was even when I was in the tech world, I got my MBA and I did some business development and I moved from the engineering side to the product side where I could be more involved in the business stuff. And I'm a business guy by heart. And that's what I love doing. So when it came to flipping houses,   For me, was, I could have been buying and selling anything. It ended up being houses. And again, not an exciting story. mean, literally the story was my wife was watching a show on HGTV with some people flipping houses and she said, let's give that a try. Just as kind of like a fun thing to do on the side while we were waiting for our wedding to come up. So it wasn't something that I ever thought about or planned to do. It just kind of happened.   And so if it weren't flipping houses, it would have been buying and selling something else. would have opened a restaurant or I would have opened a retail store or who knows what I would have done. But for me, the challenge was in the business. It wasn't the real estate piece of it. And so I've always enjoyed the scaling part. So yeah, flipping a house is great. Flipping five houses is great. But I always wanted to know, how do I go from flipping five houses to flipping 50 houses in a year? What are the systems and processes I have to put in place?   how do I build that type of business? That to me is what's exciting. And so for me, it's always been about not the real estate part of it, but about the building the business part of it.   Seth Bradley (07:25.248) I love that man. I don't think I've heard anyone just come out and say that, even though a lot of people are probably in the same boat as you that, you know, you don't have to love real estate to recognize that it's a great business. Right. Yeah. So that that's awesome. So tell me a little bit about your, your transition and what you're doing now, your current business, how you kind of progressed from house living to what you're about to tell us about.   Yeah, so 2017, I just got really burned out on flipping houses. It was good to us financially. We got good at it. I wrote a bunch of books on it, but I'll be honest, it was never fun. And as the years went on, it just ended up getting more tedious. I felt like I wasn't learning anything new. It was revising processes and creating new systems. it was fun, but I needed some new challenges.   So 2017, I decided, okay, done with flipping, actually went and started doing some business stuff. So I do some advisory work for some tech companies. I do some angel investing. And so for a few months, I actually considered getting out of real estate altogether, focusing on other business pursuits. But I actually, what I realized was that I didn't like the nuts and bolts of real estate. I liked the mechanics of real estate.   I loved the negotiation piece. I loved the asset management piece. I loved the putting deals together piece and I was good at it. And so while I really didn't wanna be flipping houses, didn't want to be involved in the day-to-day aspects of managing the projects. I enjoyed the deal part of real estate. And so in addition to that, after I stopped flipping, I had all this cash.   And I was like, okay, what am I going to do with this cash? I was using it to flip houses. We were doing 50 houses a year. It's put a lot of cash to work. Now I had all this cash. I'm a control freak. do invest in other people's syndications, but I don't sleep well at night when all my money is being managed by other people. So I said, how do I kind of take back control of my own cash as well as kind of get back into real estate? What can I do in real estate that I would enjoy? And now I can also deploy a bunch of my own cash. And what I realized was multifamily.   Scott (09:38.648) That was a great opportunity. And I had been thinking about multifamily for a long time. But what I realized was from the syndication side of multifamily, could, one, I could have the control. could be a general partner. could control the deal. I could put the deal together. I could manage the deal. But also I could come in on the limited partner side as an investor. And it was a great place to deploy my capital. So I could deploy my capital in deals that I had full control over. So 2017, I decided I wanted to get into multifamily, probably wanted to get into syndication.   I reached out to a friend of mine, Ashley Wilson, who managed a company called Barred Down Investments. She and her husband had started the company a couple of years earlier. They were doing exactly what I wanted to do. And so I reached out to Ashley and I said, hey, I would love to learn multifamily. I don't expect you to like just take all this time and teach me so I can often be your competitor. But here's what I am willing to do if you're willing to do this. I will come work for you for a year.   And in that year, you've got all my time, you've got all my energy, you've got all my knowledge, you've got all my contacts, I'll put money into your deals, whatever it takes. You mentor me for a year, you've got my commitment for a year. After a year, we can figure out if like, there's a place for me on the team or if I'll go off and do my own thing. But basically, let's work together for a year. And she loved that idea. mean, I think she liked the fact that I was really good with the systems and the processes and the operation stuff.   And I obviously loved the fact that I could jump into a team that was high functioning, already owned a lot of properties and was doing deals. So for the next year, I worked with her team. It took about a year and a half before we finally did a deal. But 2020, just before COVID, we started putting together a deal. That deal went really well. Ashley and I realized that we were like, just we made a great team.   We had a bunch of complimentary skills, the things that she was really good at, I wasn't, the things I was really good at, she wasn't, it was just a good partnership. Around the same time, her husband decided that he didn't really want to be doing real estate anymore. He kind of wanted to be a stay at home dad. He liked helping with the business. He ran the underwriting team and he did a lot of the analytics, but he didn't want to be a partner in the business anymore. So about a year and a half ago, Ashley came to me and said, Hey, would you want to join me and be a partner in the business?   Scott (11:57.678) 2020, 2021-ish. Ashley and I joined forces. She and I now run bar down investments and we do value add multifamily all around the country.   That's great man, said you weren't having fun anymore, you having fun now?   I'm having a ton of fun. And I think the big difference between then and now is when you're flipping houses, flipping houses is a very, it's a solitary venture. Yeah, you have contractors around you and you have eight real estate agents and you have closing agents and lots of 1099 people, lots of vendors and people that come in to help you. But at the end of the day, you're running the show. You're doing the four big things that you do when you flip houses.   you're acquisitions or you're running acquisitions, you're doing the rehab or you're running the rehab, you're doing the disposition or managing the disposition and you're raising the money. mean, all four of those things, you don't generally have a big team to do those things because it's just hard to scale a big team when you're flipping houses. The profits aren't there, the margins aren't there. Unless you're doing real high-end houses, the deal size isn't there. But in multifamily, the thing I love about multifamily is it really is a team sport. When you're doing it,   $10 million deal or a $50 million deal, it's not something that I could ever do myself. It's not something anybody or very few people can do themselves. Typically you have to be part of a team because things are very specialized. mean, the acquisitions piece, you need some of the best acquisitions people in the world to be finding deals in this market. The renovation piece to be renovating a 200 or 400 or 600 unit apartment complex, it's not like flipping a house. You need to have really good systems and processes. need to...   Scott (13:36.448) really know the renovation side of things. Managing the property, I mean, you have to know the asset management side. You have to know how to carry out a business plan. You have to know how to increase and reposition rents. You have to know how to decrease expenses and improve the efficiency of the management. And then on the sales side, that's a whole other world where you have to really know the market and be able to work with the brokers and know how to position the company for sale. And then finally, there's that raising funds piece.   And that's a whole world by itself, whether you're dealing with raising debt through a broker and you're going like just typical, like getting loans, or you're going out to private investors or institutions and you're raising equity, people that come in as partners. And I mean, that's a full-time job in itself, those two things. So when you do multifamily, you really need to figure out what are you great at? And then you need to surround yourself with people who are great at everything else. And so that's what I loved about multifamily. It allowed me to focus on what I was really   and then bring in people who are literally the best in the world at all the other stuff. And now it becomes a team sport. It goes from playing tennis to playing basketball. It goes from being yourself reliant and you have to do everything and be the best versus you have to be able to put together the best team and manage that team in a way that not only is everybody fantastic, but working together, they're better than the sum of their parts.   Yeah, yeah, that's fantastic, man. The whole team game part of multifamily and commercial real estate. It's really interesting because when you get into other businesses, it feels more competitive and kind of like if you if you have the secret sauce, you keep it close to your vest. You don't you don't tell everybody about it. Whereas when you're in this commercial real estate world, everybody's sharing ideas. Everybody's trying to partner. Everybody's trying to see how they can help you rather than just looking about, well, how can you help me kind of?   I call it, I'm gonna get in trouble here, but the Hollywood mentality where it's like, what can you do for me? Oh, you just drive a three series, you probably can't help me. So it's a different attitude.   Scott (15:41.294) Absolutely. I like to refer to it as co-op petition. It's like there are deals that you're going to do with other people and then there deals you're going to do yourself and you may come back to those people later. You may never come back to them, but everybody kind of looks out for each other because you never know when you may end up in a deal with somebody that previously you were competing against. And so anytime that you're not in a deal with somebody, you're still treating them as if, the next deal we could end up being partners. And the deal after that, we could end up being partners.   because it really is, it's a small industry, everybody knows each other. we really, again, going back to the sum of the parts is greater than the parts themselves. mean, working together, we can really do a whole lot more than if we just are purely competitive and try and take each other down.   Yeah, absolutely. And I think kind of going back, there's a lesson to be learned about how you were transitioning from house flipping and you were the best at it. And then you're like, okay, I want to go into multifamily and a syndication. You went and you sought out someone that was already in the game that knew what they were doing, that had the experience. And you said, what can I do to help you? What value can I bring to you to help you so you can teach me what you've done? And there's a lot of value to be found in that lesson for folks that are trying to   you know, get into the active side. A lot of listeners out there are passive investors already and they're, you know, maybe thinking about, maybe I want to do in the active side. And they're like, well, what can I do? Cause a lot of attorneys, especially in doctors and folks like that, they think they have this one track mind. They're only trained to do one thing. And they're like, what value can I provide as somebody else? But there are a lot of skills that you've learned in your W2 profession that you can apply to help other folks that are already in the industry.   Absolutely. I mean, I talk about it a lot, but even outside of real estate, I do a lot of advisory work and I'm still pretty active in the tech world. And I find companies that kind of bridge that gap between technology and real estate. all know about the Zillows and the Airbnb type companies. There are a lot of startup companies in that space too called property technology type companies. so...   Scott (17:46.998) I love to use my experience, my knowledge, my relationships to go into those companies and help them grow their companies. In return, I'm not an employee. I'm not even a 1099 contractor. In return, I'm getting equity so that if I can help make them successful, ultimately my equity is gonna be worth something. I'm gonna be successful as well. And so what I like to tell everybody like figure out what you're good at and then figure out who needs that expertise.   and then figure out how you can offer that expertise in a way that isn't trading necessarily hours for dollars. Figure out how you can trade your expertise, your knowledge, your Rolodex, your whatever it is for equity or potentially passive income so that you can grow potentially many fold as opposed to I charge $200 an hour or $300 an hour. mean, everybody loves $300 an hour, but the minute you stop working, you stop making that money. But if you can get equity, that equity can work for you for a while.   Yeah, absolutely. And it's tough for a lot of the WTs out there listening, they're highly paid professionals. It's tough to get off of that treadmill. For some folks it's easier because they're not making as much money, but for the lawyers, the doctors out there that are making a good amount of money in their profession, it's tough to try to see, you know, to stop trading time for money. But you've got to kind of see through the weeds there.   Yeah, well, what I tell people is, there's two types of income. There's your active income. That's the stuff that you're trading your time for, whether you're a doctor or a lawyer or an engineer or you're a house flipper or you're a consultant or you're a small business owner, whatever it is, that thing that when you stop working, you stop making money. And then there's a passive income. It's the thing you trade money for money. So you put your money out there and hopefully it continues to come back to you for the rest of your life or at least the next several years.   And so what I like to tell people is don't think about those the same. Those are completely different. figure out for your active income, figure out what the highest and best use of your time is. If you're gonna make more money as an attorney than you are flipping houses, don't flip houses just because you eventually want to retire on real estate. You can always use real estate for the passive side of things, but if you're gonna make more dollars per hour as an attorney or a doctor or a consultant, then do that because you wanna get out of that active income as quickly as possible.   Scott (20:05.9) And the way you do that is you make as much as you can and you move it over to the passive side. So focus on whatever it is that's generating the most dollars per hour for a shorter period of time so that you can then start moving that money over to the passive side and start building up the passive side. don't, people ask me all the time, should I flip houses or should I buy rentals? And I'm constantly telling them that's not the right question. Flipping houses is your active income. Compare that to all the other.   potential active incomes you can have. And rentals is passive income. Compare that to all the other passive investments you can make. And so don't say flipping houses or rentals say, should I be flipping houses or should I be an attorney? And don't say, I be flipping houses or rentals say, should I be doing rentals or should I be investing in syndications or dividend generating stocks or something else? And think of them very differently. then secondly,   Make sure as much of that active income as you can, move it over the passive side so that you can start that snowball rolling. I compound interest is the key to financial freedom. And the sooner you can put more money to work, the faster it'll compound and the sooner you can start to live on.   Yeah, I love that man. mean, lot of folks, you know, calls that I take, they're like, hey, they're attorneys. Should I quit my job or how do I quit my job? I'm like, if you want to quit your job, don't be hasty about it. First of all, you're probably making a good amount of money in your active income. You just need to figure out a way to transition that active to passive income and don't just quit your job. It's very difficult to flip houses, to do an HGTV fix and flip while you're working at a big law firm or something like that full time.   I tried to do it, I didn't do it very well. You're not even gonna make it nearly as much money as you would as a doctor, as an attorney, unless you get to level like you did, Jay, but that takes time and that takes a buildup of accumulation of skills and money to be able to get to that level.   Scott (22:05.826) Yeah, I mean, at the end of the day, it's a math equation. mean, your passive income or your ability to build up enough income to be able to retire, whatever your number is, is based on how much can you put in per month into that wheel, that passive income growth machine? How much are you generating every year on what you're putting in? So what do your returns look like? And three, how long do you have to compound it?   And so everybody can go out into a compound interest calculator and say, okay, I have $5,000 a month that I can invest passively and I can return 12 % per year and I need $6 million to retire. Well, based on those three numbers, you can now figure out that fourth variable, is how long is it going to take? And so figure out how much do you have per month to put in? What's the rate of return you can generate and how much do you need? And that'll tell you how long it's going to take or   figure out how much you have to put in, how much your return is gonna be and how long you wanna spend. And that'll tell you how much you'll end up with at the end, either way you wanna look at it. But again, it's a pretty simple math equation, but too many people don't actually do that equation where they don't think about it until too late and they think, I wish I would have taken that $5,000 a month that I was spending on my second home in the Bahamas and put that into real estate so that I could have been.   compounding it and so now I could buy that home for cash five years or 10 years later.   Absolutely. Attorneys hate math, but I think they can handle that little equation. I want to take a step back for a minute because you got into house flipping in 2008, which is kind of like around the big crash. And now we're kind of at the height of a market. We don't know where that height is going to end, but we're definitely in it. Right. So can you maybe compare and contrast getting into, let's say,   Seth Bradley (24:01.652) one real estate venture in the middle of a crash compared to getting into another venture kind of towards, towards the upswing.   Yeah, so it's one of the reasons I like multifamily and I like commercial and I like syndication. Anytime you're doing purely transactional deals, buying something and then selling it, not generating any cashflow in between, you run a risk. If the market turns in the middle of the transaction, you're gonna lose money and you don't have a lot of ways to mitigate that risk.   Whereas if you're buying something like an apartment complex, or even if you're buying a rental property, or you're buying a self-storage complex, or you're buying anything that cash flows, the nice thing is if the market turns, you may not be in a great position. You may not be thrilled with what's happening with the value of your assets, but if you're still generating cash flow, you can weather that storm. Maybe it's gonna take, the average recession lasts about 18 months. And so if you can make enough income that you can keep yourself afloat for 18 months, or maybe   it's a horrible recession and it lasts three or four years. If you're still making income and you can keep yourself afloat for three or four years, the market's gonna come back. And so when we do our multifamily deals, yeah, we typically say we're planning to hold three to five years, but we also do all the underwriting to ensure that if we have to hold for six years or eight years or even nine or 10 years, that the numbers still work because.   Again, who knows what's gonna happen three years down the road, we could have a major recession that lasts four years and now we're seven years down the road. I wanna know that my multifamily investments in seven years, they're probably gonna be producing more cashflow. We're probably gonna see more growth in terms of population. We're probably gonna see more growth in terms of employment. Hopefully we're gonna see more wage growth once we come out of that recession. So all the economic indicators that kind of lead towards value growth in multifamily,   Scott (25:58.486) are going to happen over those seven years if I can just get my property seven years and not lose it. With a flip, well, I'm not generating any income. So if the bank calls the loan due or if my two-year loan comes due and I can't refinance, I'm screwed. But in a multifamily, I just waited an extra couple of years and I'm probably in a better position than I was anyway. So that's one of the reasons I love multifamily because we can't predict   what the economy is gonna do in the next couple of years. But I do know that whatever the economy does, it's probably gonna come back in the next five or 10, and I'm still gonna have the problem.   Yeah, yeah, that's great. That kind of rolls into this next question. How does a passive investor that's kind of vetting a sponsor, how do they check kind of the boxes to see if their sponsors are taking the extra measures to look into those risks that you just mentioned, to mitigating those risks, to taking those risks into account in their underwriting and things like that. How can they best vet the sponsor to make sure that they're thinking of those things?   So I invest in a lot of other people's syndications as well as my own. And so when I do that, I kind of look at five areas for due diligence anytime I invest in a syndication. Number one is the team. And that's probably the most important thing. For a lot of people, I have been pleasantly surprised that a lot of our investors have recognized that team is the most important aspect of the deal. I know in the flipping world, everybody was concerned about the deal. Nobody cared about   what was my experience, but in the multifamily world, a lot of investors recognize that the team has to be great. So number one is the team. Number two is location. Location is often overlooked, but at the end of the day, the thing that's gonna drive value for multifamily and for commercial real estate in general is gonna be population growth. So you want more people coming into an area, employment growth. So you want more employers coming into an area that will bring more people in. You want wage growth because that will ultimately drive rents up.   Scott (28:06.082) and you want employment diversity. You wanna know that if one industry takes a big hit, so for example, we invest in Houston, but we won't invest in the energy corridor of Houston because it's so reliant on oil and gas, that if the oil and gas industry took a big hit, the real estate around there would probably take a big hit. So we wanna see that there's good employment diversity. But at the end of the day, location is that next big thing. So team, location, number three is the deal itself.   So you need to know that the deal is gonna stand on its own. I wanna know that if I took a deal and I handed it to pretty much any other indicator, they couldn't mess it up too badly. Obviously, again, we're gonna go back to the team is super important, but I want the deal also to stand on its own. And I wanna know that the business plan for the deal, the hold period, the numbers and the underwriting, the pro forma for the property makes sense. So team location deal.   Number four is the returns. So obviously when I invest with somebody, I'm in it for the money. And so I wanna see that the returns are commensurate with the risk. I wanna know that the returns, if somebody tells me I'm gonna get 10 % returns in this deal versus 20 % returns in another deal, I wanna know, well, why am gonna settle for lower returns? I want the answer to be because it's a lot lower risk or because you're gonna get your money back a lot sooner, which is gonna allow you to compound it or whatever the answer is.   I want to know that the returns make sense given everything else. And then finally is the risks. At the end of the day, I'm always going to sit down with the syndicator and I'm going to say, what are you most concerned about here? Like where, if I'm going to lose money on this deal, where am I most likely going to lose money? They say, there's no shot of losing money. walk away because we all know every deal has risks and every syndicator knows what those risks are. And they're thinking about those risks. I just want them to tell me.   So if I'm gonna lose money on this deal, where am I most likely? Why am I most likely to lose money if I'm going to lose money? So those are the five things that I look for. Talking about each individually a little bit more. the team, I like to know that one, I wanna see how many deals the team has done together because again, like a basketball team, you can put the best basketball players in the world together. And if they've never played on the court together,   Scott (30:31.672) they're not gonna be necessarily the best team out there. You can find another team with five inferior players who have been playing together for 20 years and they're probably gonna be better because they know each other better. So I like to see teams that have worked together for a while. I like to see teams that have gone full cycle in deals. So it's easy to buy 10,000 units. It's hard to buy 10,000 units and also sell 10,000 units for a profit. So I wanna see that if a team has bought a lot of deals, they've at least sold some for a profit.   I wanna see a team that's putting their own money in the deals. So I want people that have skin in the game. If they don't have skin in the game, and I've seen plenty of syndicators that don't like to put money in the deals, well, they need to sweeten the pot for me somehow. So maybe they're saying, we're not gonna take any profits until at least year three, or we're gonna give you a better preferred return, a better split than you would get if we were putting money in the deal. I wanna know if you're not putting money in.   that you're at least giving me something that aligns our interests and ensures that you're gonna be working hard even though you might not have as much financial risk. So those are the types of things I like to see in the team. I like to see things like at least one or two people working full-time. If everybody's part-time, that's kind of a little bit scary. Obviously not everybody has to be full-time because there are a lot of jobs on a GP team that aren't full-time jobs. There are a lot of jobs that might stop the day you purchase the property. Like the person that's raising money, job's   pretty much done other than communicating status when the property's been purchased. But I do want to know that whoever's managing the asset is doing it full time. So that's kind of the team stuff. Location, again, population growth, employment growth, wage growth, and employment diversity. So those are the four big things I look for. Next is the business plan. So I want to see the biggest question when somebody goes in and...   does what I do, which is a value add multifamily. Basically they buy it, they raise the value of the property and then they sell it for a big profit. Where is that profit coming from? Generally the profits coming from raising the rents. There's also some lowering the expenses, but at the end of the day, raising the rents is kind of the big thing that's gonna generate the big profits in multifamily. And so I wanna know how are you raising the rents? And two, when you tell me that you're raising the rents from X to Y, where is Y coming from?   Scott (32:55.182) Show me the comps that tell me that why is a reasonable new rent, market rent for this property after you've done the renovation. So I wanna see the comps. So that's kind of the deal. The returns speaks for themselves. I wanna see like the structure of the deal. So when's the money coming back to me? Is it paid monthly? Is it paid quarterly? What are the returns look like? What's the preferred return? So is it a low preferred return, which means   that the syndicators are getting paid sooner, whereas at a higher preferred return, which means the syndicators have to do more for me before they take anything home. So that speaks for themselves. And then for the risks, I wanna know both the catastrophic risks. So what's the thing that's like going to make me lose all my money? Is there something out there that can cause me to lose all my money? Hopefully the answer is no, but there are probably some risks that are bigger than others. So we do a lot of deals in Houston. If somebody were to say to me, what's the biggest risk on your deals?   The answer is generally going to be weather. If we have a really bad hurricane, if we're in a flood zone, we probably have flood insurance and we have hurricane insurance. But if it's in a place that's never experienced the negative impacts of a flood or a hurricane, and we are not required to have flood insurance, but there's still a massive hurricane that wipes out that property, that's not going to be good. We're going to have to pay for that ourselves. So what's our mitigation there? We don't have a great one. Luckily.   the risk is really low. We don't buy in areas where there is that risk. And if there is, we're gonna get flood insurance. But I do want my investors to know that no matter where you invest, whether it's a risk and especially in Houston, if we see a storm bigger than anything we've seen the last 50 years, some of our properties could be at risk. And then there are the smaller risks. So maybe there's five other complexes being renovated all around us. Maybe there's class A, brand new class A being developed.   all around us. So basically our absorption of units is going to slow down because there's so many more units. Maybe there's one big employer in the area. Amazon just built a warehouse that's employing 8,000 people. Well, what happens if Amazon has a bad year and has to lay off 4,000 of those people? How's that going to affect us? So, so risks is the next thing. And the way I approach it is I literally sit down with the, with the syndicator and say,   Scott (35:15.554) What keeps you up at night? What are the biggest things you're concerned about? And so those are the things that I do. I have no problem basically saying to a syndicator, I need 15 or 30 minutes of your time to ask these questions. Typically the good ones will either find the times themselves or have somebody on their team that will sit down and answer these questions. If they're not willing to answer those questions, well, that's probably a good indication that that's not a good team.   Yeah. For our listeners out there, that breakdown was incredible. Rewind that, listen to those five items again. That's a quick, but thorough and awesome rundown of what you need to do. Just as at least the starting points for your due diligence. And that's, that's great that you said if they won't book a call with you either themselves or an investor relations person on their team, then it's time to, you can just walk away and look at the next, look at the next deal. One question I had on the deal.   So a lot of folks, it's kind of overwhelming to see an underwriting model or something like that. And being a passive investor, I don't know how much you even want to dive into it. Some people do, some people want to nerd out on it. Most people don't. And we don't generally have access to the T12 or the rent roll or anything like that. What are maybe some quick tips on how to maybe proof through that pro forma to make sure that the assumptions are reasonable and the pro forma is generally   a reasonable prediction of what we might expect from that investment.   Well, let me start, me take a step back before I answer that particular question and just say that even for you and me, mean, you know how to do an underwriting, I know how to do an underwriting. If you or I were gonna invest in somebody's deal, Joe Smith's deal, we're probably not gonna have enough information even though we know this business really well and we know the underwriting models really well, we're probably not gonna have enough information.   Scott (37:08.908) that we're going to be able to know for certain that Joe Smith's not trying to scam us out of money. So if Joe Smith is really smart and he could probably put together an underwriting that could fool us because we're just not gonna be putting in as many dozens of hours underwriting as he and his team are. So the number one thing I would say is make sure you trust your syndicate. This goes back to why team is so important.   because there's two types of things that Joe Smith can do. One, he could do a bad job of underwriting and come up with bad numbers. That's not good, but that's not nearly as bad as Joe Smith wanting to scam us out of money. So number one is make sure Joe Smith's not the kind of guy who wants to scam us out of money. And so work with people who are reputable. And that's why I would invest with you before I would invest with 95 % of syndicators out there because you're an attorney, you passed the bar.   you know that if you go and somebody finds out that you're trying to scam somebody, well, you're putting your entire career at risk. And so what I tell people is, so what do you have that really proves that this person is on the up and up? And maybe it's a track record. Maybe it's 10 or 15 years of doing deals. Maybe it's, I like to think with me, I've been doing this business for 15 years. I've done thousands of deals with hundreds or thousands of people.   And if you go out on the internet, nobody's gonna, you're not gonna find anything that's written negatively about me. So that's a good sign. But make sure that there's something out there that gives you faith in that syndicator, even if it's just somebody else that's invested in a couple of deals with them. So that's number one. So that's the way to rule out that catastrophic, they're trying to scam you risk. Then there's the more likely, what if they just didn't do a good job of underwriting risk?   And so for that, would say for people that have very little knowledge of how the underwriting works and how the numbers work, it can be really difficult. And so what I like to do is, or what I recommend people do is sit down and ask to do a Zoom call for 15 minutes with the investor relations person and say, hey, will you kind of walk me through the high level underwriting? And at least force them to go through and then just ask questions.   Scott (39:30.958) when they say something, even if you have no idea what you're talking about and they say, well, it looks like we're gonna be able to reduce expenses by implementing a rub system, blah, blah, blah. Oh, okay, well, what is rubs and how does that work? And at least make them explain it to you. At least then you'll get an idea that they're not making it up as they're going along, or at least you'll get that confidence that it sounds like they know what they're talking about. But the biggest thing that I would say is that whole comps thing.   And this is a question that a lot of people don't like to ask. But I actually, and when people ask me this question, it always makes me nervous because it's the hardest part of the business, but it impresses me when people do. to the underwriting or the investor relations person, what are the comps that you used for your post renovation market rents? So again, the thing that drives values in multifamily is after the renovation is completed, in theory, you should be able to bring your rents up higher.   and your rents, those higher rents, you should be able to figure out what they are by looking at other units that have already been renovated and seeing what their rents are. So if I buy one, two, three Main Street, and I know I'm going to put $8 million into it, well, now that property is going to comp out to 678 Main Street. And well, what are the rents at 678 Main Street? And so by asking, hey, so you're buying one, two, three Main Street, what are the comps for the rents after you renovate?   and they tell you, it's going to be 678 Main Street and 123 Smith Street, whatever it is, you can then go look up those properties and say, okay, well, it looks like a two bedroom at those properties is renting for 1200. Now I go back to the investor relations person or whatever information they gave me I see, oh, okay, after renovation, they have their rents at 1200. Makes sense. If that's a reasonable comp, they now have the rents at kind of where they should be.   If he says that six, seven, eight main streets, a comp, and you go look in a two bedroom at six, seven, eight main streets, 1200, but their underwriting tells you that after they do the renovation, they're going to be charging 1500. Well, why are you now $300 above this property that you said was a comp? And so that to me is kind of the first thing that I look at or the biggest thing I look at is what are the comps that they're using and does just a kind of first pass.   Scott (41:57.762) jumping on apartments.com or calling the complex and asking them what different things rent for. Does that coincide with what they're telling you their post renovation rents are gonna   Yeah, I love that man. I mean, it's not as simple as just going into an old dilapidated apartment building and saying, I'm to put granite countertops and hardwood flooring and stainless steel appliances in there. And then I'm going to triple the rent or double the rent. It's not that easy. If it's not in the right area that could support those, those market rents or that have potential tenants that want those types of things, it doesn't work. So that's why that's so important to check those comps to see what's around those apartments that you're going to be investing in to see if, they can achieve those.   those proforma rents. All right, man, before we jump into the freedom four, what's one last gold nugget for our listeners?   Absolutely.   Scott (42:45.634) Yeah, so again, what I would tell people is figure out your highest and best use on your active side. And then for the passive side, figure out how you're gonna scale. And I know a lot of people like to invest in a whole lot of different things, but I'm a big fan of doing some work so that you don't have to diversify as much. Diversification is great, but diversification,   is for people who aren't really an expert in anything. If you want to get your best returns, the way to get your highest level of returns is not to have to diversify. And the best way not to have to diversify is to get knowledgeable about whatever you're investing in. So if you decide you wanna invest in all your syndications, just cause that's what you and I do. So it's an easy example. If you want to invest in syndications and that's how you wanna grow your nest egg, my recommendation is,   get as much information about syndications as you can. Pick up a good book on syndications. Go find somebody that does syndications and say, hey, I'd to pay you a thousand bucks for five hours of your time. Or you just to walk me through what a typical deal looks like or what the underwriting looks like. Or go sit in on a hundred multifamily syndication investor videos, presentations. So you can see all the different things they're talking about and become as much of an expert there as you can. So that way you're reducing your risk without having to do a lot of the.   diversification. So focus on whatever your highest and best use of time is on your active income and then become as knowledgeable as you can for whatever you're investing in passively. What I like to say on the passive side is it's not truly passive. Nothing's truly passive. But the best investments are the one where all the work is done upfront. You do your due diligence and then it becomes passive.   Yeah, that's awesome, man. And then what you can do though is diversify within that strategy, right? Absolutely. Yeah, different asset types can have different business strategy, value add, or maybe you're dealing with just a class A where you're chasing yield or across different cities, different geographies, or across different sponsorship teams. There's other ways to diversify within that same type of investment strategy. Yep. All right, man, let's jump into the Freedom 4.   Scott (45:05.598) It's time for the Freedom Four.   What's the best thing you do to keep your mind and body healthy?   So for me, it's admitting when I need a break. I know so many people that it's a badge of honor to work 80 hours a week, 52 weeks a year, never take a vacation. I'm just the opposite. If I wake up one morning and I'm tired and I don't feel like working and I don't feel like I'm gonna be productive, I will grab a book. I might even turn on the TV. I might say to my wife, hey, let's go to breakfast or let's go spend the day, let's go to a movie.   And I have no qualms with just saying, I need a break today. Today's not gonna be a productive day. I don't need to pretend to work just so I can have that badge of honor that I work hard. And so, yeah, and that's one of the nice things about real estate. mean, I don't have a hundred percent flexible work-life balance. I can't do anything I want any time I want, but if I wanna take a couple hours off, I normally can. And so I'm not scared to do that.   Yeah, yeah, that's a great answer. With all your success, what is one limiting belief that you've crushed along the way and how did you get past it?   Scott (46:15.734) Yeah, I still have a lot of them. I think we all do. But I'd say the biggest one is that doing a big deal is not that much harder than doing a little deal. I'm not going to say a hundred million dollar deal is just as easy as a hundred thousand dollar deal. But if you're smart enough to do a hundred thousand dollar deal, you're smart enough to do a hundred million dollar deal. And the people that are out there doing those hundred million dollar deals, mean, we have, we now have a hundred million dollars assets under management.   I remember a couple of years ago, looking at the people that had nine figures under management and thinking, they're different. I can't do that. These are people, went to some school that I will never go to, or they were born into something that I was never born into, or they know people I don't know, or whatever it is. No, they're normal people. And the only difference between them and me was I wasn't thinking big enough.   and I wasn't willing to take some risks and I wasn't willing to acknowledge the fact that doing again, a hundred million dollar deal is certainly within my capabilities. So that to me has been probably the biggest one and it's made it a lot easier for me now to say, okay, $50 million deal, let's go do it, not think twice.   Yeah. I had a similar experience working in, in, big law, doing house flips, doing single family rentals, things like that. And even though my clients are doing 50, a hundred million dollar deals and I'm helping them close those deals, it was just like the mindset shift that, a minute, I can do those deals too. I'm actually giving them advice on how to, how to do this thing. I need to step up my game and, and, take some.   Exactly, it's the difference between people doing a hundred million, a hundred thousand, it's all mindset.   Seth Bradley (48:00.866) Yep, absolutely. What's one actual step our listeners can do right now to start creating more freedom.   take action. So the biggest thing that I see stopping people is just this fear to take the first step. And I know this doesn't apply to a lot of your listeners, but I talked to a lot of people who want to get into house flipping or they want to get into rentals and they've been thinking about it for years and they just never take that first step and then they end up giving up. One of the the few truisms I see in this business   is that there are two types of people I meet. Number one, I meet people that have never done a deal. They've done zero deals. And maybe they're still working on it. Maybe they've given up whatever it is, but they've done zero deals. And then the other type of people I meet in this business are people that have done a lot of deals. They've done five or 10 or 20 or 50 deals. There's one type of person I never ever meet in this business. And that's somebody that's done one deal. Because if you get that one deal, you're gonna get the second and the third and the fifth and the tenth.   Nobody does one deal and then says, okay, that's it, I'm done. can't do this. So what I like to tell people is, and that applies to a lot of things in life. If you can get over the hump and do it once, you're gonna get that snowball effect and it gets easier the second time. It gets even easier the third, it gets even easier the hundred. So don't give up until you achieve that first step or that first iteration of whatever it is you wanna achieve because that's gonna get that snowball rolling.   Yeah. Yeah. We preach that on their show all the time. Just like, you know, just do a deal, just invest in a deal so you can get that experience and it'll just kind of open up your mind to other opportunities. You'll just see opportunity all around you. Once you just do one deal last but not least, how it's passive income made your life better.   Scott (49:51.886) Passive income has given me the ability and the confidence to raise a family. Before this, my biggest concern with raising a family was I didn't want to be, I had, my parents were great, but my parents were always working. And I didn't want to be the same type of father that my parents were. Again, they were fantastic, but I wanted to always be there. I wanted to be at every soccer game, every piano recital.   I wanted to be able to go into school for the parent-teacher conferences. so passive income has really given me the ability to build my life around my family as opposed to building my life around   Love that, love that. It's been fantastic, brother. We're gonna listen and find out more about you.   Yeah, anybody wants to get more info, go to www.connectwithjscott, just letter J, Scott, connectwithjscott.com, and that'll link you out to everything you might wanna find.   Awesome man. Talk soon.   Scott (50:54.945) Awesome. Thanks,   All right, Mr. Jay Scott from Master House Flipper to multifamily syndicator. He's a master of creating profitable, well-oiled business machines. I've been reading Jay's bigger pockets books for years and it's awesome to have the opportunity to have him on the show today. Major key, focus. Focus on transitioning your active income to passive income and don't get distracted. All right, if you're ready for a change, you're ready to take action.   partner with us on one of our next passive real estate deals. Go to passiveincomeattorney.com and join our Esquire Passive Investor Club. All right, kiddos, as always, enjoy the journey.   Thank you for listening to the Passive Income Attorney Podcast with Seth Bradley. Do you want more ideas on how to generate multiple streams of passive income? Then jump over to passiveincomeattorney.com for show notes and resources. Then apply for the private Facebook community by searching for the Passive Income Attorney on Facebook. And we'll see you on the next episode.   Links from the Show and Guest Info and Links: Seth Bradley's Links: https://x.com/sethbradleyesq https://www.youtube.com/@sethbradleyesq www.facebook.com/sethbradleyesq https://www.threads.com/@sethbradleyesq https://www.instagram.com/sethbradleyesq/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/sethbradleyesq/ https://passiveincomeattorney.com/seth-bradley/ https://www.biggerpockets.com/users/sethbradleyesq https://medium.com/@sethbradleyesq https://www.tiktok.com/@sethbradleyesq?lang=en J. Scott's Links: https://www.linkedin.com/in/jscottinvestor/ https://www.instagram.com/jscottinvestor/ https://x.com/jscottinvestor https://linktr.ee/jscottinvestor

LOL From 2009.  Makes you think about how much you should spend on expert advice, and staplers. 

Today we're talking about Pakistan in the 80s. Specifically about their "president" (military dictator) at the time. Muhammad Zia-ul-Haq did some real dirt on his way up the totem pole to seize power and once he was up there he did some more, but he also managed to do a few good things, I can't deny him that. He just happened to do more bad than good. Makes for an interesting story though. I mean, just look at a picture of him. He's the perfect Bond villain. Enjoy!

The kettle is boiled, the tea is stewing, and we're ready to go! That's right, Dr Matilda Siebrecht is back to join you onTranscript your tea-break, this time with a slightly new focus and a different name: Tea-break Archaeology. Listen in to hear all about Matilda's research background, why she got into podcasting, and how she's been inspired by “cosy archaeology”.TranscriptsFor rough transcripts of this episode go to https://www.archpodnet.com/teabreak/36LinksBlog: Mugs, Makes, and MicrowearAPN Discord serverContact the HostEmail: matilda@thearchaeologiststeacup.comhttps://www.thearchaeologiststeacup.cominsta: @the_archaeologists_teacupfb: /TheArchaeologistsTeacuptwitter: @ArchaeoTeacupArchPodNetAPN Website: https://www.archpodnet.comAPN on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/archpodnetAPN on Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/archpodnetAPN on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/archpodnetTee Public Store: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/archaeology-podcast-network?ref_id=5724AffiliatesMotion

Keith discusses the factors driving rent growth, emphasizing income growth, supply constraints, and affordability.  He highlights that population growth has a weak correlation with rent growth, citing examples like Austin and San Francisco. The fastest rent growth is in San Francisco (4.6%), Fresno (4.6%), and Chicago (4%), while Austin (-6.8%), Denver (-5%), and Phoenix (-4.1%) show declines.  GRE Coach, Naresh Vissa, joins the conversation to talk about the administration's focus on lowering rates and the potential for higher inflation as a result. He encourages investors to stay informed and take advantage of opportunities when rates are low. Resources: Book a free coaching session with Naresh at GREinvestmentcoach.com Show Notes: GetRichEducation.com/570 For access to properties or free help with a GRE Investment Coach, start here: GREmarketplace.com GRE Free Investment Coaching: GREinvestmentcoach.com Get mortgage loans for investment property: RidgeLendingGroup.com or call 855-74-RIDGE  or e-mail: info@RidgeLendingGroup.com Invest with Freedom Family Investments.  You get paid first: Text FAMILY to 66866 Will you please leave a review for the show? I'd be grateful. Search “how to leave an Apple Podcasts review”  For advertising inquiries, visit: GetRichEducation.com/ad Best Financial Education: GetRichEducation.com Get our wealth-building newsletter free— text ‘GRE' to 66866 Our YouTube Channel: www.youtube.com/c/GetRichEducation Follow us on Instagram: @getricheducation Complete episode transcript:   Keith Weinhold  0:01   Welcome to GRE. I'm your host. Keith Weinhold, vital trends are moving the rental real estate market. And learn what really drives rent growth. It's probably not what you think. Then inflate, baby. Inflate. Why this administration wants inflation today on get rich education.   Speaker 1  0:22   Since 2014 the powerful get rich education podcast has created more passive income for people than nearly any other show in the world. This show teaches you how to earn strong returns from passive real estate investing in the best markets without losing your time being a flipper or landlord. Show Host Keith Weinhold writes for both Forbes and Rich Dad advisors, and delivers a new show every week since 2014 there's been millions of listener downloads of 188 world nations. He has a list show guests and key top selling personal finance author Robert Kiyosaki, get rich education can be heard on every podcast platform, plus it has its own dedicated Apple and Android listener phone apps build wealth on the go with the get rich education podcast. Sign up now for the get rich education podcast, or visit get rich education.com   Corey Coates  1:08   You're listening to the show that has created more financial freedom than nearly any show in the world. This is get rich education.   Keith Weinhold  1:18   You Keith, welcome to GRE from Whippany New Jersey to Parsippany New Jersey. Not much distance there and across 188 nations worldwide. I'm Keith Weinhold, and you're listening to this week's episode of Get rich education, where it's not just about your ROI. It's about your roti, your return on time invested, and your return on life. Everyone says that population growth is what drives rents, yes, but that's just one part of it, and it probably isn't even the most important factor. There is evidence of this, from Harvard research to what HUD has found. Austin, Texas recently added 500,000 people, rents spiked, and then supply flooded in and rents stalled. Head count wasn't enough. I discussed that in depth when I walked the streets of Austin last year. San Francisco lost population, but yet rents rebounded and remain among the highest in the nation. Harvard's housing research shows that population growth only has a weak correlation with rent growth. So what actually does drive rents? Well, income growth, supply constraints, and then staying under the 30% affordability ceiling, which is HUD's definition of what a cost burdened household is, right? That means that a tenant spends more than 30% of their income on rent. That is cost burden, and this pattern holds from ancient Rome to modern Manhattan, rents follow paychecks, not head counts and on the supply side, well, not all metros are created equal. Some have quantified it with what's called a supply elasticity score, places like Houston can seemingly build endlessly, while Manhattan and San Francisco cannot. So it's that difference that explains why incomes turn into rent growth in one market but not in the other. So if you're chasing fast growing metros, okay, but be careful, because headcount does not equal pricing power. Paychecks are what do well today, rents are falling in boom towns, but they're climbing in what we would call legacy, established metros, the year over year, rent change across US, metro areas really has a striking contrast. The three with the fastest rent growth are San Francisco up 4.6% Fresno also up 4.6% and Chicago up 4% and the three biggest declines in rent are Austin down 6.8% Denver down 5% and Phoenix Down 4.1% rent contraction in those three cities. And here's the problem during that 2020, to 2022, real estate surge. Years ago, investors piled into Sun Belt markets, and they sort of expected this endless growth, but then new supply flooded Austin, Phoenix and Denver, pushing rents down and vacancies up, and all three of those are cities that I visited during the boom and I saw the. Cranes in the air myself, and yet, at the same time, older supply constrained metros, like in the northeast, in Chicago and in San Francisco, they are quietly regaining momentum. That's where demand is steady. Construction is limited, and that's why rents are ticking higher. So this is why, like I've talked about before, it's good for you to invest in some Sunbelt areas, say, like Florida and then others that have this steady demand, like, say, a place in Ohio. And it's worth pointing out, too, how unusual it is that a city like Austin has a 6.8% rent contraction. We all know that housing prices are more stable than stocks, sure, but real estate rents are even more stable than housing prices, so this rent aberration that was caused by such wild overbuilding in Austin. Now, I recently attended a presentation on the rental housing market. It was put together by John Burns. He's the one that presented it, and he's the owner of the eponymous John Burns research and consulting. And people pay good money to attend these presentations, and he's a guy worth listening to, always with good housing market insights, and some of his insights while they're the same ones I've shared with you for a while, like how there's been a persistent lack of housing supply in the Northeast and Midwest, and still an abundant supply in the south. The Northeast is the only region of the nation that's adding more jobs than new homes at this time, the top amenities that tenants want today are a driveway in a yard. Pretty simple things. They're not a pool in a clubhouse. They're a driveway in a yard. And if you think about them, it totally makes sense, and that's why single family rentals have become such a booming industry, because that's where tenants are getting a driveway and a yard and burns. Also pointed out that most US job growth is in low income jobs. The presentation talked mostly in terms of headwinds versus tailwinds. Lower immigration. Well, that's a headwind. That's a bad thing for real estate investing, since immigrants tend to be renters. The tailwinds The good thing that includes less future supply coming out of the market, fewer apartments and fewer build to rent, deliveries coming online, fewer being added between today and 2028 and another positive for the next two decades at least, is the fact that since people are having fewer kids, that makes people less likely to settle down, buy a home and need a good school district. Well, that is good for people renting longer, longer tenancy durations, and John Burns also spotlighted how building material cost inflation is up 40% from pre pandemic times fully 40% more in material costs. But that Spike has since flattened out. However, it is just another reason why home prices can't really fall substantially. Today's prices are baked in, and his summary overall is to be bullish and bet on the tailwinds those real estate investing positives that is mostly due to future rent growth because the new supply is going away, and it's going to continue to stay difficult to buy a home, more rent growth, and that's the end of what he had to say. So as you're out there, targeting the right areas and renters for your properties, I've talked before about how new build rental property is a sweet spot, since your builder will often buy down your mortgage rate. For you, new build is where you can attract a good quality tenant. Look for a moment, just forget finding a tenant that can just barely afford your unit because they're spending 30 to 33% of their income to pay you rent, because, see, in that condition, there's no room for you to get a rent increase. If you can offer great value to your residents and target a 10 to 15% rent to income ratio, aha, you are really in good shape, because the easiest rent growth is retaining happy residents that are conditioned to accept 5% rent increases. Well, that is more likely in a nice new build property. That's where you attract a better tenant. And if they were to move out, they would have to take a lesser property so they will stay and pay the rent in. Increase, and they're going to have the capacity to do so when the rent is only 10 to 20% of their income.    Keith Weinhold  5:25   Now, when we talk about a major factor that trickles down to rents, the level of inflation, a lot of this comes down to the Fed chair and even the president, to some extent. And you know what's interesting, half the nation bashes whoever is president, and the entire nation bashes whoever is the Fed chair. Look, every recent Fed Chair has been maligned and bashed more than a pinata at a toddler's birthday party, bashed open more than an umpire at a little league game. Well, since 1980 there have been five of them, Volker, then Greenspan, then Bernanke, then Yellen and now Jerome Powell, most of that group is known for substantially lowering interest rates, yet they've remained unpopular anyway. And you know the irony here? The most popular of these five is Paul Volcker. He's the only Fed chair that's celebrated, and yet he jacked rates in the 1980s to up near 20% yes, 20% he really made borrowers feel the pain, but yet he's the only guy that's celebrated, because that's how he stomped that out of control inflation fire, 45 years ago, in 1981 mortgage rates peaked between 18 and 19% yet Somehow he's the Fed share that we celebrate? Well, here in more modern times, will the Fed eventually have to do the same thing? This is because Trump wants inflation now. The short term, talk is about lowering interest rates, but there are so many inflationary forces that you've got to wonder about how interest rates could very well go much higher later to get on top of this inflation that I'm telling you Trump actually wants. Now, of course, no one is going to come out and explicitly say that they want inflation, but that is now so implied, there are a ton of policies that the administration favors that are super inflationary. Some are a little deflationary, like deregulation, but they are overwhelmingly inflationary. Look tariffs, that's inflation on goods, mass deportations, that's labor inflation, reshaping the Fed in order to lower rates. That's inflation, the one big, beautiful bill, act that's lots of spending and largely inflationary. I'm telling you, Trump wants inflation now I'm not here to evaluate these policies for being good or bad. This is about policies, not politics, and understand it's not just the US government. It's every government everywhere that secretly wants inflation. And why do they want that? Well, first, it fuels spending. If you know that your dollars are going to shrink in purchasing power tomorrow, well then you're going to spend today, and consumer spending makes up 68% of us. GDP, yes, Amazon, thanks, you. Secondly, inflation shrinks the government's debt. The third reason that governments everywhere want inflation is because it foils deflation. In a deflationary world, people hoard cash like its gold bullion, tax revenue dries up and the economy stalls, and also inflation. It facilitates wage adjustments. It helps the labor market function. If economic conditions are weak, well, then employers can implement real wage cuts just by keeping salaries flat right where they're at. I mean, that is so preferable to cutting nominal wages directly and giving employees a pay cut notice. Everyone hates seeing that. So those are what four big reasons why governments will take their gloves off and fight in a steel cage match to the death to ensure inflation. So most expect a rate cut at the Feds meeting next week. But if this continues and there were massive cuts, you know, there's something else you've got to ask yourself, do you really want to live in an economy where massive rate cuts occur. I mean, that's what the 2008 global financial crisis and the covid pandemic in 2020 brought to us. So massive cuts mean there's some giant problem out there. Therefore, although the Trump and Powell rivalry, it might make you. Interesting theater and headlines. You know, let's not get carried away. Let's put things in perspective. What matters to you more is how many dollars you're leveraging, the efficiency of your property operations and the quality of your business relationships. Really, the bottom line is that fed tweaks are background noise inflation, that is the long term engine that makes your real estate profitable. Focus there, and let the politicians keep doing the yelling concerns about ongoing inflation and what that means for real estate investors, that's next. I'm Keith Weinhold. You're listening to get rich education.    Keith Weinhold  8:57   The same place where I get my own mortgage loans is where you can get yours. Ridge lending group and MLS, 42056, they provided our listeners with more loans than anyone because they specialize in income properties. They help you build a long term plan for growing your real estate empire with leverage. Start your prequel and even chat with President Chaley Ridge personally while it's on your mind, start at Ridge lendinggroup.com. That's Ridge lendinggroup.com.    Keith Weinhold  8:57   You know what's crazy your bank is getting rich off of you. The average savings account pays less than 1% it's like laughable. Meanwhile, if your money isn't making at least 4% you're losing to inflation. That's why I started putting my own money into the FFI liquidity fund. It's super simple. Your cash can pull in up to 8% returns, and it compounds. It's not some high risk gamble like digital or AI stock trading. It's pretty low risk because they've got a 10 plus year track record of paying investors on time in full every time. I mean, I wouldn't be talking about it if I wasn't invested myself. You can invest as little as 25k and you keep earning until you decide you want your money back, no weird lockups or anything like that. So if you're like me and tired of your liquid funds just sitting there doing nothing, check it out. Text family. 266, 866, to learn about freedom. Family investments, liquidity fund again. Text family, to 66866,   Ken McElroy  17:26   this is Rich Dad advisor Ken McElroy. Listen to get rich education with Keith Weinhold, and don't quit your Daydream.    Keith Weinhold  17:34   we have a familiar voice back on the show. It's an in house discussion here with our own GRE investment coach since 2021 he's helped you completely free, usually over the phone, learning your own personal goals and then helping you find the market that's the right fit for you, and even help connect you with the exact property address that helps you win the inflation Triple Crown, like say, 321, Mulberry Street in Chattanooga, Tennessee. They say that formal education will make you a living self education will make you a fortune. Well, he's got them both. He's slinging an MBA, and he's an active real estate investor just like you and I. Hey, welcome back to the show investment coach and race Vista.    Naresh Vissa  18:25   Hey, Keith pleasure, to be back on.    Keith Weinhold  18:27   Inflation is something that affects real estate investors even more so than it does the general public. Since we're borrowing large sums of money and the inflation discussion sure has been interesting lately, you just can't quite get rates back down to 2% still, they've been elevated for years. So talk to us from your vantage point about inflation and future inflation concerns.   Naresh Vissa  18:51   Well, Keith, I am concerned about inflation. This is the first time in a year or so that I'm concerned with the direction and with the policy surrounding inflation, here's why. And I brought this up when I was on your podcast in July, the current administration is not talking at all about the fact that inflation is rising. We saw the CPI, for example, hit 2.3% which was four year low earlier this year, and since then, inflation has gone up. That is concerning, that inflation is going back up without any rate cuts. Yet it's gone back, I don't want to say gone back up, but it's gone up. And remember, the Federal Reserve inflation target is 2% so we want to get as close to 2% as possible. And the number one issue in the 2024 election, and the number one issue today is still the cost of everything is right, is too much, which we'll talk about, from gas prices to home values to rents to grocery that's the. Big one, the cost of groceries, the stuff that you buy at grocery stores, etc, everything is just too expensive. Of course, education, you name, childcare, everything is just too expensive. Inflation is still, I think the administration needs to really tackle this problem. They need to really, really tackle it, because it is the number one issue. It is what people essentially, their vote is, is based on it's not necessarily based on some peace agreement in a foreign nation. It's not based on some social issue. The number one issue is going to be this inflation problem. It's are things affordable? Do I have money in my bank account to pay for X, Y and Z? So I am concerned because, yes, tariffs are inflationary. That's kind of common sense. Now I think tariffs can be good. Tariffs can keep inflation in check. If they're handled the right way, we will see that. But my bigger concern is that inflation has been rising. We're not anywhere close to that 2% and we know with a very high degree of certainty that the Federal Reserve is beginning their rate cutting cycle next week with the September rate cut, and that's going to be extended. We've seen President Trump. He's very public, his Treasury Secretary, his Secretary of Commerce, all the economic advisors who he has, they're very transparent about the fact that they want rates slashed, and they want rates slashed quickly. And so we know that we're going to get a rate this is going to be a rate slashing cycle. It's going to be great for the upper class, if you want to call it, it's going to be great for real estate investors, but for the common man, the byproduct of that is going to be higher inflation. There's just no way that you can cut rates so quickly, so low, and you're not going to see inflation. That's my concern. Now on the other hand, and again, we have to see how this plays out. On the other hand, I brought up earlier this year, I've referenced Doge. I think Doge is doing a good job cutting government spending, trying to scale back some of the government initiatives, not that the government's always going to spend we know that, but it's you need to cut back, and doges is trying to do that. That's a plus. But even bigger, I talked about some foreign wars, right? Well, I think that the Middle Eastern conflict and the Russia Ukraine conflict, both of those actually are disinflationary, or fixing those conflicts, creating peace. We've seen a ceasefire in the Middle East. We've seen a peace agreement in Ukraine, and they're disinflationary because of some of the items that I brought up. I think oil is going to dip below $50 a barrel as a result of these peace agreements, these ceasefires. So we're going to see oil prices go down. When you see oil and energy prices go down, you see the cost of almost everything else go down, because you need oil and energy to transport everything else. If you're building a house, you have wood and steel and lumber and and all sorts of materials. And it's you need a truck to transport all that. And the truck is probably it's not an EV truck. You're getting these big trucks that are using diesel fuel. So if we can bring down the cost of of oil and gas and electricity, which these taking care of these conflicts will do, creating peace will do the price of those products, oil, the natural gas, the electricity, the wheat, the grains, those are your groceries. The cost of those are going to come down. So I think it's very positive what we're seeing with this idea of peace in regions that make a huge difference to the global economy. So I'm curious to see, like I think we could see greater than 100 basis point decrease in inflation just by solving these conflicts 1% or more, like I legitimately think so, and that's without the tariffs. That's without the federal rate cut. So even if we're at, let's say, two and a half percent inflation today, and you shave off 100 basis points up now you're at one and a half, and then you throw in tariff inflation, you throw in the rate cut inflation, and we're around 2% so that's the ideal scenario that the administration is hoping for. It's let's create peace, let's have a freer market, and then they can scale back a lot of these tariffs too, because many of these tariffs against India, for example, they can scale back the United States can scale back the 50% tariff on India. That tariff was India got hit with because they're buying Russian oil, and you take care of the Russia conflict. Now it's we say, oh, India, you know, we'll scale back to go back to your 25% tariff, or maybe even less, if you do X, Y and Z. For us, we can expect to see many of these tariffs scaled back. We can expect to see the price of specific goods and services, the prices decrease, which will bring down inflation. That's what I'm optimistic about. Hopefully all these agreements hold, which I think they will, and we can expect that, and the Fed can begin its rate cutting cycle, and everything will be booming, and everything will be great. This is the. Deal scenario. I'm not predicting this. This is the ideal scenario for the administration,   Keith Weinhold  25:05   when both war and terrorists get as bad as they can possibly get. From there, they can only get better, each of which would be disinflationary. Now, the CPI inflation has been reported at 2.7% each of the past two months. But when we talk about rates, Trump wants lower rates, of course, and I think we all know that the Fed's fear of lowering rates is that high inflation could resurface. One thing though, that few think about is that lower rates lead to higher inflation, which kills off the national debt faster. But when we think about upcoming federal reserve rate cuts anytime, whether this was 10 years ago today or 10 years into the future, these are the type of lessons that I like to talk about. All right, when we look at the last Fed meeting, there was no rate cut, but then awful jobs numbers were reported right after that. That's why some think that there could be a 50 point rate cut at the next meeting. The Fed meets eight times a year, so there's about a month and a half between meetings. Now, the Fed doesn't have to wait for a meeting to make a rate cut. They can do an emergency rate cut between meetings, like we saw during covid, but sometimes they're reluctant to do that because that really spooks markets, and that makes people think, oh my gosh, there was an emergency rate cut. Maybe things are worse than we thought. What's going on that triggers concern?   Naresh Vissa  26:24   Well, I think that would be a huge mistake to have an emergency. Yeah, anatomic was obviously an emergency. That was a global emergency. Makes sense. 2008 I remember, I was just college student, but that was an emergency because we saw people lining up on the streets of Manhattan with all their boxes of laid off work, and we saw that on Phoebe. You know, that was a trying time. I think that's out of the question. It's completely unnecessary, especially when the Fed meets every 45 to 50 days. It's, you know, you can wait another 20 days until the next meeting and then make a decision when you have lower rates than the cost, the borrowing costs on the debt, it goes down so the government can refinance its debt, and they would pay less keyword interest dollars. That's a plus, the other plus with tariffs. And I really hope, again, this is just my opinion. I hope this is what happens. But the government is raising quite a lot of tariff revenue, so close to $30 billion last month. And we can expect, in the first full year, next year, it's going to have raised close to half a trillion dollars just for fiscal year 2026 that's the expectation, about half trillion dollars worth of tariff revenue. And I hope that the government uses that pair of revenue to pay down the debt, because when you're paying down the debt, you're dissipating inflation. What I actually don't want them to do is to give us back that money, because they've been floating that around, saying, Oh, we got all this tariff revenue. Let's get it back as a tariff dividend, and every American gets hex, you know, $100 in their bank account or something   Keith Weinhold  28:01   very altruistic. Of you patriotic,   Naresh Vissa  28:04   I would much rather that they use 100% of it to pay down that debt, because the country is going to be better off as a whole over the long term, and in turn, the people will be better off over the long term. The people may not see it. They may want their $200 check or $100 check or whatever it might be, but over the long term, I think the tariffs are overall working out quite well. We're not seeing the crazy inflation that the mainstream expert predicted. I don't think we're going to see the crazy inflation that the experts predicted, if you it's not going to be because of the tariffs, in my opinion, I think it's going to be if there's this aggressive rate cutting cycle that juices the markets and the cost of everything just just goes up. And this ties into real estate investing, because when the Fed starts cutting, that's a very good time for real estate investors to pay attention when the Fed stops cutting immediately. That's a an even better time to pay attention when the rates have bottomed. And this has to deal with timing the real estate market. I'll give you an example. I own several properties. Of one of my properties when the Fed was cutting in 2020 it took about a year for all those cuts to permeate into the mortgage market and into the the market as a whole. It took it. The inflation didn't go up overnight. The inflation didn't go up in April of 2020 or or May of 2020 it went up in April of 2021, it took about a year. So I actually refinanced one of my properties in July of 2021, I refinanced my my property, and I saved about 110 basis points on that refinance. And that's what I mean by timing the market. Because, if you're paying attention, part of it was I knew, Okay, the Fed has stopped. It's cutting. And you know, let's follow the more. Good market. Let's follow the Treasury yield curve and all that. And I jumped in. I literally refinanced at the bottom, like at the absolute bottom. There was about a three month window that was the bottom, and I refinanced. I did the application all that at the beginning of those three months, and it was and I got that great rate at the end of those three months. And I think there's going to be a tremendous opportunity for real estate investors. And I'm sure the Bane This is why I'm a little concerned about inflation as well, because the big hedge funds, the big real estate investment firms, the big banks, the blackstones, the blackrocks, they're going to be ready, and they're going to buy up. They're going to buy up real estate again, and investors, including our GRE investors, they're going to start buying up too. So pay attention. We're going to cover it here. We're going to cover it here, on the podcast and in the newsletter. But pay attention to these rates, because it'll be, I don't want to say, a once in a lifetime opportunity, but it will be a once in a cycle type of opportunity to jump in and get some bottoming real estate values as well as bottoming real estate mortgage rates at the same time. So that equilibrium point is only, like I said, about three or four months long. So we're going to be coming to that point and timing it sometime, I think next year, 2026   Keith Weinhold  31:21   talk to us about the vibe that you're getting from GRE listeners that contact you for a free coaching session. It's really hard to time the real estate market. Why don't you help us out with that? Let us know about a listener or two that you recently helped.   Naresh Vissa  31:37   Well, we have free real estate investment coaching here at GRE. It's absolutely free of charge. You can call, text me, email me whenever you'd like. People can book a free meeting with me, and it's a session. It's an immersive session on real estate investing. So we can go over all of that on our call. You can reach out to me unlimited times, like I said, it's I'm here just to help you throughout and along your real estate investment journey, I've helped hundreds of people invest in real estate, hundreds so it's buying turnkey, cash flowing real estate properties, so our investors can buy properties, and use my guidance and advice to help them buy properties. I also help them if they already own properties, how to optimize their portfolio, how to find new markets. I help them with their existing properties, dealing with property managers, with contractors, even with issues that things aren't always great in real estate, sometimes things can be bad. So listener Paul, for example. Listener Paul, he had a problem with the builder, and he submitted earnest money, and he wanted his earnest money back. Many, many years had gone by, and he came to me and he said, Hey, Naresh, you know, I've got all this money tied up, and the builder's not giving me the money back. Can you help me? And so I got him in touch with the right people, and within three or four months, he got all of his money back, plus interest on all the missed payments. So he got everything back as a lump sum, and then he thanked me and said, Thank you so much. I can sleep better at night, and I'm just I'm doing very well now, and he was ready to buy his next property.   Keith Weinhold  33:15   That's an example of where a deal went wrong and the builder didn't perform and build a property.   Naresh Vissa  33:19   Yes, exactly. Think of me as a trusted advisor, but also as a super connector, someone who can get you in touch with all the right companies and people to make real estate investing very sound. We have listener Joe, who bought many properties through us. He bought his first property through me and through GRE through our coaching program, and that first property worked out really well. So then he said, Hey, I want to buy a second property about six months later. So he bought a second property, and that worked out well. And then he said, let's go with it. And he bought all these with the same provider. So once he reached four, because my rule is, you don't want to go more than four or five in one market. Then he asked me for the next he said, what market do you recommend next? So then I recommended the next market, and then he bought another three or four in that market, and he built a nice little portfolio of seven or I mean, some people think it's little, some people think it's big, of seven or eight properties. So that's very common with the coaching program, where our listeners are really happy. If things are going great, I'm here for them. If things are not going the way that they expected, I'm here to help fix that problem.   Keith Weinhold  34:30   Maurice, is there to help you start building and grow a portfolio. Now, how do you yourself analyze deals and find properties before you let our listeners know about them?   Naresh Vissa  34:40   Well, we work with 15 to 20 different providers around the country, 15 to 20. So these providers are always reaching out to me, emailing me, calling me, leading me voicemails, texting me, saying we've got this great deal. We've got this great incentive. So I parse through all of that, and I find a handful of what I think is best. US and many of these deals, I send them to you, Keith, to promote in your Don't quit your Daydream newsletter, which people can subscribe if they go to get rich education.com. I send them there, and I let our listeners know on the phone when they set up calls, or I have notes on every meeting. So I'm able to send all of these deals to them, and that's how I put the best deals in front of them.   Keith Weinhold  35:25   Most of the coaching calls are over the phone rather than zoom the race. Sure can arrange a zoom call with you if you prefer. You really don't need to do too much to prepare for the call either.   Naresh Vissa  35:38   No, not at all. Just sign up for the meeting, and I'll run things. I'll run the meeting, I'll run the call. It's very straightforward. It's a session. It's very immersive, very interactive.   Keith Weinhold  35:49   Yeah, and you just have to book a time with Naresh once there and afterward. Yeah, it's really casual. Naresh is very open to you text messaging him if you have any ideas, or if you just heard about something on the show that you want to know more of. But yeah, booking that first coaching call is really what opens the door to the communication. And you really staying up to date on things. You can find a race through GRE marketplace. And alternatively, you can learn more about him with his bio. And importantly, book a time on his calendar by going directly to GREinvestment coach.com for a while now he's had times available Monday through Friday, and even some weekend slots available, and yeah, keep in touch with him, because property inventory is ever changing, especially with late breaking news like we've had this year of Home Builders Offering major incentives like buying down your mortgage rate to about 5% so staying up to date has hopefully brought you, the listeners, some really big wins already this year. Naresh, do you have any last thoughts?   Naresh Vissa  35:49   Definitely book a meeting with me. You won't regret it. I think even if you think that you own all these properties, you have all this experience, I think you'll find that the resources we offer it through our free coaching program, there will be one or two nuggets that you didn't know about that will still help you. So it doesn't harm anybody to book that free session with me. If you don't think you need my help, maybe it's just a five minute call and we touch base and we're good to go. That's fine too, but I highly recommend that people get in touch with me. We go from there so that you can continue to have a fruitful investment journey.   Keith Weinhold  37:28   Naresh has been valuable as always. Thanks for coming back out of the show.    Naresh Vissa  37:31   Thank you very much, Keith.   Keith Weinhold  37:38   Yeah, some sharp insight from Naresh as always. Now, when you think about making your next property move, consider how, compared to a few years ago, uncertainty has largely abated and real estate has stabilized. Think about how back in 2020 covid was the big uncertainty concern 2021 it was this real estate boom and an inventory shortage. You would get 50 or 80 offers on one property, and buyers were waiving inspections. That was tough. That was such a seller's market in 2022 that's when you had inflation and the supply chain chaos. That's when CPI inflation peaked at 9.1% in 2023 the big uncertainty concern was interest rate shock and the affordability crisis. And last year and this year, they've pivoted more to macro economic concerns. So therefore today's chief concern gets somewhat more buffered from real estate. Now I discussed the direction of rents earlier in today's show, the recently released Kay Shiller numbers came out, and they show that national home prices are up almost 2% annually, 13 cities or higher and seven or lower. By the way, this continued nominal price appreciation that frustrates the bejesus out of those perpetually wrong crash predictors. They have been wrong even longer than the people waiting for flying cars to show up. And where will prices continue to go from here, probably even higher now, America just hit somewhat of a milestone in this cycle. You might remember that mortgage rates peaked at 7.8% almost two years ago. Well, mortgage rates have now slid down to six and a half 6.5% and here's why this has become significant, right? Just compared to when rates were 7% per the nar 2.8 million Americans now qualify to buy a home. 5.5 million more will qualify at 6% and 7.7 more will qualify at five and a half percent. My gosh. Now. Now, of course, not every newly qualified buyer is going to pounce on a property, but only if a fraction of those do. Can you imagine how this demand increase will stoke prices? There are still only about 1.1 million homes available today. So not only are mortgage rates at a fresh low, but inventory choices, although they're still historically low, they are now at a six year high, and this is all while there's less buyer competition. So today's buyer conditions are really improving, and the bottom line here is that you are in the best position in more than five years to find the right property while still avoiding a bidding war, you have really got some properties to choose from. That is the takeaway, and you don't need to do much to prepare for an immersive free call with Naresh. You know what your situation is, although you probably do want to have about a 20% down payment for a property ready to go, some of which cost as little as 200k in these investor advantage markets, whether you've never bought any property in your life, or if you have dozens, it probably will benefit you. You can easily book a time that works best for you right on a GRE investment coaches calendar that way. There's no back and forth, and you can set it up now. Should you so choose at GRE investment coach.com Until next week, I'm your host, Keith Weinhold, don't quit your Daydream.   Speaker 3  41:38   Nothing on this show should be considered specific, personal or professional advice, please consult an appropriate tax, legal, real estate, financial or business professional for individualized advice. Opinions of guests are their own. Information is not guaranteed. All investment strategies have the potential for profit or loss. The host is operating on behalf of get rich Education LLC, exclusively.   Keith Weinhold  42:02   You know, whenever you want the best written real estate and finance info, oh, geez, today's experience limits your free articles access, and it's got paywalls and pop ups and push notifications and cookies disclaimers. It's not so great. So then it's vital to place nice, clean, free content into your hands that adds no hype value to your life. That's why this is the golden age of quality newsletters. And I write every word of ours myself. It's got a dash of humor, and it's to the point, because even the word abbreviation is too long. My letter usually takes less than three minutes to read, and when you start the letter, you also get my one hour fast real estate video. Course, it's all completely free. It's called the Don't quit your Daydream letter. It wires your mind for wealth, and it couldn't be easier for you to get it right now. Just text gre, 266, 866, while it's on your mind, take a moment to do it right now. Text gre, 266, 866,   Keith Weinhold  43:18   The preceding program was brought to you buy your home for wealth, building, get richeducation.com

Prioritizing yourself isn't selfish—it's survival. This FYF brings a listener's bold boundary win, a reminder that rest prevents burnout, and a big team celebration with the launch of a brand-new coaching app. Plus, Lesley and Brad drop an affirmation that will remind you of your one-of-a-kind gift to the world.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co mailto:beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/#follow-subscribe-free.In this episode you will learn about:Why standing firm on your policies builds respect in your business.The real cost of burnout and how it impacts your ability to show up.Saying yes to breaks and travel as a way to protect your energy.How better systems free up energy for you and your clients.Episode References/Links:Cambodia October 2025 Retreat - https://crowsnestretreats.comSubmit your wins or questions - https://beitpod.com/questions If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. https://lovethepodcast.com/BITYSIDEALS! DEALS! DEALS! DEALS! https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentCheck out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/memberships/perks/#equipmentBe in the know with all the workshops at OPC https://workshops.onlinepilatesclasses.com/lp-workshop-waitlistBe It Till You See It Podcast Survey https://pod.lesleylogan.co/be-it-podcasts-surveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates Mentorship https://lesleylogan.co/elevate/FREE Ditching Busy Webinar https://ditchingbusy.com/Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube! https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gLesley Logan website https://lesleylogan.co/Be It Till You See It Podcast https://lesleylogan.co/podcast/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan https://onlinepilatesclasses.com/Online Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTube https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCjogqXLnfyhS5VlU4rdzlnQProfitable Pilates https://profitablepilates.com/about/Follow Us on Social Media:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lesley.logan/The Be It Till You See It Podcast YouTube channel https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCq08HES7xLMvVa3Fy5DR8-gFacebook https://www.facebook.com/llogan.pilatesLinkedIn https://www.linkedin.com/in/lesley-logan/The OPC YouTube Channel https://www.youtube.com/@OnlinePilatesClasses Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  It's Fuck Yeah Friday. Brad Crowell 0:01  Fuck yeah. Lesley Logan 0:02  Get ready for some wins. Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.Brad Crowell 0:48  Welcome Be It Pod squad. It is September 5th, Friday. It's Fuck Yeah Friday, and I'm, obviously, Brad here, stepping in for Lesley for the first part of this episode. She's gonna take over the second half of this episode here, where we're bringing your wins, and she's going to celebrate a win, but we're going to start today off a little bit differently with an affirmation, in a way that I think Lesley is going to get a kick out of. I hope you really enjoy it. So feel free to sing along. This is an encouraging, amazing song that I've often drawn inspiration from, and I think you're gonna love it. Brad Crowell 1:21  I've paid my dues time after time. I've done my sentence but committed no crime and bad mistakes I've made a few. I've had my share of sand kicked in my face, but I've come through. And on and on and on. We are the champions, my friends, and we'll keep on fighting till the end, because we are the champions. We are the champions. No time for losers, because we are the champions of the world.Brad Crowell 2:24  You know it. You know it. You hear it in the background. You are singing that song, too. I love this song because it's very relatable. You know, even though you know it's Queen and they're like epic rock stars, but listening to those lyrics, listening to that song, is something that I've always found relatable. You know, I've paid my dues time after time. I've done my sentence, but I committed no crime, right? How often do we feel like that, where we are feeling like I'm doing everything right, and yet things still aren't going my way? And maybe along the way, you know, and bad mistakes I've made a few. Maybe along the way we've made some bad mistakes. I've had my share of sand kicked in my face, but I've come through, right. And as a small business owners, you might feel like that too, but you will come through this. And I wanted to celebrate that chorus with you. We are the champions, my friends. You know we're gonna keep fighting. And that's, that's the thing, when you're, when you are, doesn't even have to be just in business, but in life, you know, one foot in front of the other, y'all. Keep on going. Consistency, persistency. You got this. You can do this. We are the champions, and we'll we're the champions of the world. So really excited to have you joining us this week for this Fuck Yeah Friday. I'm gonna pass the torch here on to Lesley to celebrate a few of your wins, and then hopefully, you know, you're gonna take encouragement and send in your own win to us as well so we can celebrate you on an upcoming Fuck Yeah Friday. So thanks for being here today. Lesley Logan 4:00  All right, now, for the next part of the episode where I share a win of yours. So, win of yours. We had a couple wins from Melissa Capitano, so we'll go through these. Stood up for myself when a client tried to bully me, she didn't think I should charge her for a late cancel because she had been a client since the founding owner, and she was good friends with her. She also told me that she never got any warm and fuzzy feelings from me and that I wasn't friendly towards her. I stood my ground. She told me she's going to pretend the conversation didn't happen, and proceeded to buy a 12 pack and book privates with one of my instructors. So I'm counting it as a win. So I just want to say it is interesting being a business owner, the requests that people ask or demand or think that they are worthy or entitled to, it really does show like, I don't know how this person would like live their life, but clearly there was some sort of luxury, or maybe their family was gifted things or given things based on a last name or whatever. But here's the deal, when you agree to a frequent or patronize an establishment, they have rules, and when you participate in that business, you are agreeing to participate with the rules. Now, if you don't like that, you don't have to patronize the establishment. That's why we live where we all have a place like there's more than one Pilates studio. There's more than one lunch place. There's more than one sandwich place. It's extremely rare in most of the world, where you listen to podcasts, that you are the only thing that exists, and even if you are, you still are worthy of having rules and boundaries for how people can participate with you. And the fact that, like, she's been a client with the original owner, that's cool and that she didn't get warm and fuzzy feelings for you, that's not your fault, right? You weren't creating a best friend environment. You were creating a business that can make people safe and have a place where they can call home for their Pilates practice for years and years to come. So, way to go, Melissa, way to stand for yourself. And I think it's hilarious. It's just like, okay, well, this conversation didn't happen. Like, interesting. Sometimes we have to be a mirror for people. Okay, you have another win. So my win. I'm on the road now, on our way to a family reunion. I needed this break. I've been teaching 35 to 45 hours a week for the last three months. I seriously thought about just staying home and letting my family go, but I remembered what Ella said about you're not helping anyone if you burn yourself out. So anyway, we are on the way stop to pick up lunch, taking Brad and Lesley with me on the road. She's wearing a shirt with Brad and I on it, and I love that so much. And it's really, thank you Melissa for making this a win so we could talk about this as a group. Seriously, you're a zero help to anyone burnt out. You are so not helpful to anyone. One of my friends from a group that I was in. I, by the time I'm recording this, I'm seeing that her husband's in the hospital, and like her, she and her kids, like, flew immediately to go see him. He was in a different state than where they live, and after about 36 hours, she flew the kids back home, because taking care of the kids and him and herself is, like, not an option, right? And the hospital's not the place where they can feel stress free and like, where little children can like, relax either. So she did something for herself so she doesn't burn out, right? So everyone can be protected. There's no right answers in those situations. You might have done something differently, but the point I'm sharing with that story is, Melissa's story, with you is there's always a reason to not go on the trip. There's always a reason to not start the thing. There's always a reason to not take the day off or not go out. And if what the thing that you are saying you don't want to do is used to fill your cup and you're just tired, go do it, because it's going to fill your cup. You're not going to fill your cup at home. You're going to find things to do at home. You're not going to relax. You're not going to rest when you are working that hard in your business, and there are seasons for that you must make sure you are taking care of yourself. So, Melissa, kudos to you. Hats off to you. And thank you for sharing this win so that other people can be inspired that that that is something that they can do. So if you are feeling like close to burnout now, my loves like, what is the thing that you are thinking you shouldn't do? Right? Are you already making excuses? Like, oh, you know that that October trip I shouldn't do. I had somebody reach out about the Cambodia retreat, and they're like, I really want to go. This is like, my dream retreat, but I just start a new job, like, five months before the retreat. Okay, totally understand not every job is reasonable. Maybe they don't have vacation time built up by five months. But also, like you're not gonna lose your job by saying, hey, by the way, in October, I need one week off to take care of myself. If you show your work that you are a better employee after resting, they're going to let you do that. Most places do. Now, you work for an asshole. I can't help you there. Lesley Logan 8:40  All right, a win of ours. So we actually released an app this summer, guys, we did it. Our team did it. It hit the deadlines that we'd set for ourselves. It works. People are using it. They love it. So we've always had, we've already had an app for OPC. People could take classes. You don't have to be a member to use the app, like you can listen to podcast on it. There's like, free tutorials you can watch on it. There's some free challenges. But if you're a member, you can be in the community. You can chat with us, you can take your classes on the app. Makes it really fun to do is take it yourself wherever your phone can go or your iPad can go. So we've been working on that for Profitable Pilates, and it's beautiful. It's really simple. It's really easy for our members to use. So, Agency members, instead of being in Slack now have one place to go to chat with the community, to share their wins, to have a moment to watch videos from me that are notes of inspiration, to see when the next office hours is, to book coaching calls, to watch courses all in one place. And for seven half years prior to this, they had to go to a website and to Slack and, you know, all this different stuff. And so we're, you know, we're so grateful that the way that technology has gone, that we have this opportunity to do this. And I'm really happy with the way the app is, way it looks, way people are using it. I'm just so proud. So this is one of those wins that months in the making and was a more of a team win than a me win. But you know, I am someone who often doesn't like change. I know it's kind of crazy. You think I love change the way I like preach like you should, like, just act like you're already the person you want to be. But like, I always worry about, like, oh my God, we have to transition people from one thing to the other thing. Are they going to do it? Will they come? Are we going to lose people? I don't want people to have a bad time. Like, there's a lot that can go wrong in a transition. And we, you know, it's hand holding everybody is not the easiest thing to do. Some people need it. And so I just am so grateful and so excited for what we've done. And now, y'all, if you want to coach with us, you get to use an app, and it's great. And of course, there's still Zoom calls and things like that. Anyways, really, really grateful for that, really, really proud of that huge win, and I'm just glad I get to celebrate that with you. Lesley Logan 10:53  Okay, your affirmation, another affirmation, but one that's a little easier. There is something in this world that only I can do, that is why I'm here. There is something in this world that only I can do, that is why I'm here. There's something in this world that only I can do, that is why I'm here. You know why I love this it's because I literally tell our aAgency members all of the time, you are the only person who can do what you do the way that you do it. Sometimes I have to say it slower for people to hear it. You are the only person who can do what you do the way that you do it. There are many people who went to the same training that I did in 2008 and are the same age and have the same experience and we teach differently. There are people who stayed with Jay and Sandy and all these people, and we all teach Pilates in theory the same way, and yet they'll be different than me always, and I'll be different than them. So you are the only person who do what you do the way that you do it. You're it. So never play small. Doesn't help anyone. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 11:58  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod.Brad Crowell 12:41  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell.Lesley Logan 12:46  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co.Brad Crowell 12:50  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi.Lesley Logan 12:57  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals.Brad Crowell 13:00  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time.Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In Space, No One… Makes it out alive? Unless you’re a cyborg. This week Jason and Rosie are talking about the flashback episode of Alien: Earth, episode 5! They are asking the important questions, are we even team human anymore at this point? This podcast remains to be team aliens! Let’s talk about what happened aboard the Maginot and breakdown the story so far. Follow Jason: IG & Bluesky Follow Rosie: IG & Letterboxd Follow X-Ray Vision on Instagram Join the X-Ray Vision DiscordSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

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