Rotten Romance: (Dry) Heaving Bosoms Who Read Romance Novels

[Never Safe For Work] So what had happened was...the Raunties figured out they could take a break because podcasts can have seasons. Who knew?! Join them while they talk about their first romance novel favorites and chit chat authors, art vs artist and bungle their way through figuring out their eras.

[NSFW] So, what had happened was...the Raunties played the Kindle game again: Pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Ridiculous accents prefered, No context, no cheating!

[Never Safe For Work] So what had happened was...another book about hot brothers, family secrets, everyone in everyone else's business and all the pretty people having so many problems! And guess what - it's another series starter, so dive in.

[NSFW] So, what had happened was...the Raunties thought it would be funny to keep giving advice (like, "Don't bone your boss") to real people with actual problems. Listen in as they dip in to a new regular segment, "Reddit Roulette!" The ladies talk about dicks and Scrabble, porn angst, ass ratings, boob jobs and more.

[Never Safe For Work] So what had happened was...Regency romance full of details including scoring invitations to balls, romantic garden dancing, identity confusion, and fun with titles! We minimized spoilers for you since it's a series.

[Never Safe For Work] So, what had happened was...the Raunties played the Kindle game again: Pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Ridiculous accents prefered, No context, no cheating!

[Never Safe For Work] So what had happened was...a lot of author choices were made. Funny, but lots of sentences, but too long, but amusing, but too many options without commas, but we like the humor. Really though, what happens when you fall in love with your vampire grandpa? It's a series, so we probably need to read more of these books to find out.

[Never Safe For Work] So, what had happened was...the Raunties thought it would be funny to keep giving advice (like, "Don't bone your boss") to real people with actual problems. Listen in as they dip in to the regular segment, "Reddit Roulette!"

[Never Safe For Work] So, what had happened was...the Raunties played the Kindle game again: Pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Ridiculous accents preferred, No context, no cheating!

[Never Safe For Work] So what had happened was...Amish people with secrets start as PenPals in spite of mean aunts, nosy neighbors, way too much guilt and self-loathing as well as a bunch of rules we don't really understand about mechanics who aren't allowed to drive and find a way to connect through the postal service.

[Never Safe For Work] So, what had happened was...the Raunties thought it would be funny to keep giving advice (like, "Don't bone your boss") to real people with actual problems. Listen in as they dip in to our regular mini-segment, "Reddit Roulette!"

[Never Safe For Work] So what had happened was...Traumatized rich people with a plethora of neuroses and unlimited money to try new ventures which they know nothing about, abuse each other until they all fall in love and live happily ever after. Sort of. [Apologies] we lost Phoebe to technical difficulties about 2/3 the way through, so we're probably not as funny.

[NSFW...ever] So, what had happened was...the Raunties played the Kindle game again: Pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Ridiculous accents prefered, No context, no cheating!

[Never Safe For Work] So what had happened was...gorgeous (and very nice) future in-laws meet randomly and spend a week of adventures flirting, vomiting and "getting to know" one another (yes, it's a euphemism), the Raunties opted not to spoil this one!

[NSFW] So, what had happened was...the Raunties keep giving advice (like, "Don't bone your boss") to real people with actual problems. This time we uncover sexy secrets, learn about "bumping", still more butt stuff, pubic hair and a lively discussion about whether there's such a thing as too many "I Love You" messages...enjoy!

So what had happened was...Nikki couldn't be bothered to select her own book, so leaned on a listener pick, and we have no regrets. Yummy vampires, sex clubs, BDSM with the right kind of consent, all sorts of supernatural creatures...Oh yeah, we're in. We're all the way in. Remember, never safe for work...[language and sexual content]

So, what had happened was...the Raunties played the Kindle game again: Pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Ridiculous accents prefered, No context, no cheating!

[NeverSFW] So what had happened was... Irish mobsters abuse a psychologically undeveloped woman who thinks she likes it. Raunties lose their minds as they wind their way through this horrific example of a terrible attempt to normalize a lack of comprehension of consent and human rights. Who needs sex traffickers when you can just find a crazy girl in a lighthouse?

[NSFW] So, what had happened was...the Raunties keep giving advice (like, "Don't bone your boss") to real people with actual problems. The ladies tackle getting over your ex, shower poop (no really...we couldn't make up this stuff), financial doms, responsible behaviors when friends have an affair and more...it's a doozy!

So what had happened was... Dafne sent us in a recommendation and the Raunties were all, "Yeeeeeaaaaaah!!! Cowboys!" Instead, they find a house full of secrets and pain with some midnight kissing mixed in. Join the Raunties as they decide if the tortured hero is deep and complex or just a complete douche.

[Sooooo NSFW] You know the rules: pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Ridiculous accents preferred, No context, no cheating! We revisited some old accidental favorites intended for deletion and even have a guest spot!

So what had happened was... Celina saw the sweetest cover and thought she'd be covering a lot of our bases: Consent, History, Actual romance. Um. Yeah, no. But at least it was short and sweet. Sorry, not sorry for the spoilers.

NSFW: Paranoid partners; risking yourself for the sake of others; cheating for brownie points by knowing a love-language and more. Plenty to chat about these days!

So what had happened was... Somisawhel forced the Raunties to read a pre-teen "romance" book about an industrious witch selling charmed scarves and a plaid-wearing witch-hunter who team up to save the world from a disgruntled Etsy customer. WTF did Somisawhel sign us up for?

NSFW: Language/sexual content/violence - The Raunties celebrate all the randomness that is their e.readers sharing two minute passages and "artistic" selections for which they are unprepared. Which one is going to blush this time? We know who...you might too, if you can stop laughing long enough.

So, what had happened was...a sexy doctor and and riches to rags artist in 1800's London keep their dark secrets to themselves, while ignoring red flags, creeping though dark hallways, spying on dangerous people...the (R)aunties wonder: what could possibly go wrong? Don't worry, no spoilers!

So what had happened was...we did a video episode of reddit roulette, from sabotaged weight loss to French Maid outfits, the (R)aunties have opinions! And I'm too lazy to edit any of the other recordings, so you get the audio of the youtube video today.

So, what had happened was... The (R)aunties went on an intergalactic trip to find some scientists and their shuttle crashed on a PENAL planet and their military detail deserted them. Join your favorite (R)aunties as they learn about how long you can stare at a loincloth without blinking, how soap is utilized in the future, and if Phoebe actually picked a book the ladies could tolerate. Phoebe may have even resisted spoiling the book + series for you!

So, what had happened was...a surprisingly pleasant nice guy novel. Join the (R)aunties as they learn about puck bunnies and that Canadians say "whipping cream" and may or may not have HIPAA laws to consider. We keep the spoilers to a minimum!

So, what had happened was...the (R)aunties thought it would be funny to keep giving advice (like, "Don't bone your boss") to real people with actual problems. Listen in as they return to the regular segment, "Reddit Roulette!" This one has a surprisingly consistent theme for the listeners!

So, what had happened was...the (R)aunties take this one on the chin so you don't have to. Stereotyping rural communities and city dwellers in one fell swoop as a "good old country boy" romances a citified neurotic widow. All the spoilers, definitely not sorry. Also, our first musical background blurb that will probably get us sued.

So, what had happened was...the (R)aunties played the Kindle game again: Pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Find out how Somisawhel made a graphic sex scene less sexy that a tool manual about removing tub caulk. Ridiculous accents preferred, No context, no cheating!

So, what had happened was...all the cross-dressing, hot doctor, delicious foods, genuine romanticism, Regency treasure...and still Phoebe manages to work Bratva bosses and buttplugs into the convo. We limited the spoilers!

So, what had happened was...the (R)aunties played the Kindle game again: Pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Ridiculous accents preferred, No context, no cheating!

So, what had happened was...a lucky rich girl in medieval England (maybe France?) gets to pick her own husband and picks a doozy. Join the Raunties as they celebrate authors and characters worthy of a rousing "Huzzah" for not being completely vapid. Yay! And no spoilers!

So, what had happened was...the (R)aunties thought it would be funny to keep giving advice (like, "Don't bone your boss") to real people with actual problems. Listen in as they dip in to a new regular segment, "Reddit Roulette!"

So, what had happened was...hot rich "misunderstood" dude coerces a fiery redhead into sleeping with him on the regular by threatening her family and saving her business at the same time. How boring would it be if people in these books just *had an effing conversation to clarify* Finally someone who has to work for a living! Join us as we explore what it is like to have a 500K Vajay...sorry, not sorry for all the spoilers.

So, what had happened was...The menfolk thought it would be funny to hear us read about clamps, butt joints, nozzles, and caulk. So many tools, so little time...

So, what had happened was...more rich and beautiful imaginary people act like idiots and receive advice from the (R)aunties. How many times do we have to tell you not to bone your boss or married dudes...especially not your married boss?! Sorry, not sorry for all the spoilers.

So, what had happened was...the (R)aunties played a game: Pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Ridiculous accents preferred, no context, no cheating!

So, what had happened was...two 25 year olds magically, through their amazing talent and luck are crazy rich and the author takes a quick-fire journey into the ever so lighthearted topic of mental illness, easily conquered by a crush. Oh, the plight of 20-somethings. sorry, not sorry for all the spoilers.

So, what had happened was...an amnesiac and an ex Navy Seal ate a lot of Hawaiian food, forgot how to use Google and drank a metric sh*t-ton of mango tea while deciding how to describe a house, decorate, redecorate and maybe think about having sex even though they are pretend married. There was much heaving...sorry, not sorry for all the spoilers.

So, what had happened was...(spoiler alert!) It was a Cinderella story with excessively detailed food descriptions, douchey bosses, family secrets, uptight aristocrats, and a little bit of sass. A foodie romance novel of love found, love lost, love found again, lost again...wait, was that S&M? love found again...only limited spoilers.

So, what had happened was...A police chief's daughter met a horrible Russian Mafia boss. There was jogging in underwear, a lot of confusion about pepper spray and some clubwear tips from the (R)aunties along with the now famous "Antonio Banderas tries a Russian accent" blurb... sorry, not sorry for all the spoilers.