Rotten Romance: (Dry) Heaving Bosoms Who Read Romance Novels

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Four women, one romance novel a week, and all the hilarity that comes with it. This podcast is NOT SAFE FOR WORK. Every week one host picks the book. All hosts promise to read 5 chapters and review together. Join Somisawhel, Nikki, Celina, and Phoebe as they lead you through some of the best (and WORST) literary pieces available in the romance genre.

Rotten Romance

  • Sep 25, 2020 LATEST EPISODE
  • monthly NEW EPISODES
  • 40m AVG DURATION
  • 44 EPISODES


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Latest episodes from Rotten Romance: (Dry) Heaving Bosoms Who Read Romance Novels

RR Review #24: Our Favorites (aka Whoa! Podcasts have seasons?)

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 25, 2020 61:08


[Never Safe For Work] So what had happened was...the Raunties figured out they could take a break because podcasts can have seasons. Who knew?! Join them while they talk about their first romance novel favorites and chit chat authors, art vs artist and bungle their way through figuring out their eras.

RR Quickie #20 Random Reading Rendezvous: Cringey Kindle Scenes

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 13, 2020 39:38


[NSFW] So, what had happened was...the Raunties played the Kindle game again: Pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Ridiculous accents prefered, No context, no cheating!

RR Review #23 Panty Dropper (aka You had us at the cocktail recipe intro...we're totally gonna make these)

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 8, 2020 47:49


[Never Safe For Work] So what had happened was...another book about hot brothers, family secrets, everyone in everyone else's business and all the pretty people having so many problems! And guess what - it's another series starter, so dive in.

RR Quickie #19: Reddit Roulette (R)aunties' Recommendations and Revelations 9

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 29, 2020 17:44


[NSFW] So, what had happened was...the Raunties thought it would be funny to keep giving advice (like, "Don't bone your boss") to real people with actual problems. Listen in as they dip in to a new regular segment, "Reddit Roulette!" The ladies talk about dicks and Scrabble, porn angst, ass ratings, boob jobs and more.

RR Review #22 In Need of a Knight (aka It's not a walk of shame if you are wearing satin)

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 23, 2020 53:15


[Never Safe For Work] So what had happened was...Regency romance full of details including scoring invitations to balls, romantic garden dancing, identity confusion, and fun with titles! We minimized spoilers for you since it's a series.

RR Quickie #18: Random Reading Rendezvous 10

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 21, 2020 13:16


[Never Safe For Work] So, what had happened was...the Raunties played the Kindle game again: Pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Ridiculous accents prefered, No context, no cheating!

RR Review #21: Transfusion (aka Vampirism: Nature or nurture or...genetics?)

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 16, 2020 55:15


[Never Safe For Work] So what had happened was...a lot of author choices were made. Funny, but lots of sentences, but too long, but amusing, but too many options without commas, but we like the humor. Really though, what happens when you fall in love with your vampire grandpa? It's a series, so we probably need to read more of these books to find out.

RR Quickie #17: Reddit Roulette (R)aunties' Recommendations and Revelations 8

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 14, 2020 30:28


[Never Safe For Work] So, what had happened was...the Raunties thought it would be funny to keep giving advice (like, "Don't bone your boss") to real people with actual problems. Listen in as they dip in to the regular segment, "Reddit Roulette!"

RR Quickie #16: Random Reading Rendezvous 9

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 6, 2020 23:34


[Never Safe For Work] So, what had happened was...the Raunties played the Kindle game again: Pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Ridiculous accents preferred, No context, no cheating!

RR Review #20: Written In Love (aka Catfishing: It's not just for FB anymore)

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2020 61:21


[Never Safe For Work] So what had happened was...Amish people with secrets start as PenPals in spite of mean aunts, nosy neighbors, way too much guilt and self-loathing as well as a bunch of rules we don't really understand about mechanics who aren't allowed to drive and find a way to connect through the postal service.

RR Quickie #15: Reddit Roulette (R)aunties' Recommendations and Revelations 7

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 29, 2020 24:15


[Never Safe For Work] So, what had happened was...the Raunties thought it would be funny to keep giving advice (like, "Don't bone your boss") to real people with actual problems. Listen in as they dip in to our regular mini-segment, "Reddit Roulette!"

RR Review #19: Before I Knew (aka Do You Even Restaurant, Bro?)

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 25, 2020 75:31


[Never Safe For Work] So what had happened was...Traumatized rich people with a plethora of neuroses and unlimited money to try new ventures which they know nothing about, abuse each other until they all fall in love and live happily ever after. Sort of. [Apologies] we lost Phoebe to technical difficulties about 2/3 the way through, so we're probably not as funny.

RR Quickie #14: Random Reading Rendezvous 8

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 23, 2020 14:49


[NSFW...ever] So, what had happened was...the Raunties played the Kindle game again: Pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Ridiculous accents prefered, No context, no cheating!

RR Review #18: You Complicate Me ("Snarky Adult" is secret author code for "Hopeful Rom Com Script")

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 18, 2020 46:01


[Never Safe For Work] So what had happened was...gorgeous (and very nice) future in-laws meet randomly and spend a week of adventures flirting, vomiting and "getting to know" one another (yes, it's a euphemism), the Raunties opted not to spoil this one!

RR Quickie #13: Reddit Roulette (R)aunties' Recommendations and Revelations 6

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2020 21:06


[NSFW] So, what had happened was...the Raunties keep giving advice (like, "Don't bone your boss") to real people with actual problems. This time we uncover sexy secrets, learn about "bumping", still more butt stuff, pubic hair and a lively discussion about whether there's such a thing as too many "I Love You" messages...enjoy!

RR Review #17: My Viking Vampire (aka Sex-god vampires and self-adjusting bras complete us)

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 13, 2020 66:58


So what had happened was...Nikki couldn't be bothered to select her own book, so leaned on a listener pick, and we have no regrets. Yummy vampires, sex clubs, BDSM with the right kind of consent, all sorts of supernatural creatures...Oh yeah, we're in. We're all the way in. Remember, never safe for work...[language and sexual content]

RR Quickie #12: Random Reading Rendezvous 7

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 8, 2020 15:57


So, what had happened was...the Raunties played the Kindle game again: Pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Ridiculous accents prefered, No context, no cheating!

RR Review #16: Keenan - A Dark Irish Mafia Romance (aka if you feed and spank them they will never leave)

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 5, 2020 77:57


[NeverSFW] So what had happened was... Irish mobsters abuse a psychologically undeveloped woman who thinks she likes it. Raunties lose their minds as they wind their way through this horrific example of a terrible attempt to normalize a lack of comprehension of consent and human rights. Who needs sex traffickers when you can just find a crazy girl in a lighthouse?

RR Quickie #11: Reddit Roulette (R)aunties' Recommendations and Revelations 5

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 1, 2020 23:08


[NSFW] So, what had happened was...the Raunties keep giving advice (like, "Don't bone your boss") to real people with actual problems. The ladies tackle getting over your ex, shower poop (no really...we couldn't make up this stuff), financial doms, responsible behaviors when friends have an affair and more...it's a doozy!

S2E3: Craving - a Steel Brothers Novel (aka "No Really," says Phoebe, "He's Just So Complicated")

Play Episode Listen Later May 28, 2020 59:26


So what had happened was... Dafne sent us in a recommendation and the Raunties were all, "Yeeeeeaaaaaah!!! Cowboys!" Instead, they find a house full of secrets and pain with some midnight kissing mixed in. Join the Raunties as they decide if the tortured hero is deep and complex or just a complete douche.

S2Q2: Random Reading Rendezvous 6

Play Episode Listen Later May 21, 2020 17:57


[Sooooo NSFW] You know the rules: pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Ridiculous accents preferred, No context, no cheating! We revisited some old accidental favorites intended for deletion and even have a guest spot!

S2E2: Clarice's Sweet Romance (aka My Little Golden Book Romance)

Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2020 27:30


So what had happened was... Celina saw the sweetest cover and thought she'd be covering a lot of our bases: Consent, History, Actual romance. Um. Yeah, no. But at least it was short and sweet. Sorry, not sorry for the spoilers.

S2Q1: Reddit Roulette (R)aunties' Recommendations and Revelations 4

Play Episode Listen Later May 14, 2020 13:16


NSFW: Paranoid partners; risking yourself for the sake of others; cheating for brownie points by knowing a love-language and more. Plenty to chat about these days!

S2E1: Love Spells for the End of the World (aka Where can I get a "Bubba Feet" lunchbox and why don't my socks ever match?)

Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2020 38:26


So what had happened was... Somisawhel forced the Raunties to read a pre-teen "romance" book about an industrious witch selling charmed scarves and a plaid-wearing witch-hunter who team up to save the world from a disgruntled Etsy customer. WTF did Somisawhel sign us up for?

S1Q8: Random Reading Rendezvous 5

Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2020 11:39


NSFW: Language/sexual content/violence - The Raunties celebrate all the randomness that is their e.readers sharing two minute passages and "artistic" selections for which they are unprepared. Which one is going to blush this time? We know who...you might too, if you can stop laughing long enough.

S1E12: Dark Desires (aka Is that a corpse in your carriage, or are you just happy to see me?)

Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2020 55:45


So, what had happened was...a sexy doctor and and riches to rags artist in 1800's London keep their dark secrets to themselves, while ignoring red flags, creeping though dark hallways, spying on dangerous people...the (R)aunties wonder: what could possibly go wrong? Don't worry, no spoilers!

S1Q7: 1K Bonus Episode (R)aunties Reddit Roulette 3

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 30, 2020 25:16


So what had happened was...we did a video episode of reddit roulette, from sabotaged weight loss to French Maid outfits, the (R)aunties have opinions! And I'm too lazy to edit any of the other recordings, so you get the audio of the youtube video today.

S1E11: Trapped (or If you look closely, you can see Vin Diesel in the background)

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 27, 2020 55:06


So, what had happened was... The (R)aunties went on an intergalactic trip to find some scientists and their shuttle crashed on a PENAL planet and their military detail deserted them. Join your favorite (R)aunties as they learn about how long you can stare at a loincloth without blinking, how soap is utilized in the future, and if Phoebe actually picked a book the ladies could tolerate. Phoebe may have even resisted spoiling the book + series for you!

S1E10: Home Game (aka Don't puck your roommate...or maybe do?)

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 23, 2020 46:20


So, what had happened was...a surprisingly pleasant nice guy novel. Join the (R)aunties as they learn about puck bunnies and that Canadians say "whipping cream" and may or may not have HIPAA laws to consider. We keep the spoilers to a minimum!

S1Q6: Reddit Roulette (R)aunties' Recommendations and Revelations 2

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 16, 2020 17:29


So, what had happened was...the (R)aunties thought it would be funny to keep giving advice (like, "Don't bone your boss") to real people with actual problems. Listen in as they return to the regular segment, "Reddit Roulette!" This one has a surprisingly consistent theme for the listeners!

S1E9: Country Bride (aka Maybe You Just Weren't In The Mood...)

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 13, 2020 42:47


So, what had happened was...the (R)aunties take this one on the chin so you don't have to. Stereotyping rural communities and city dwellers in one fell swoop as a "good old country boy" romances a citified neurotic widow. All the spoilers, definitely not sorry. Also, our first musical background blurb that will probably get us sued.

S1Q5: Random Reading Rendezvous 4

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 9, 2020 14:51


So, what had happened was...the (R)aunties played the Kindle game again: Pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Find out how Somisawhel made a graphic sex scene less sexy that a tool manual about removing tub caulk. Ridiculous accents preferred, No context, no cheating!

S1E8: Countess Invention (aka What's Wrong With Being Pragmatic?)

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 6, 2020 47:16


So, what had happened was...all the cross-dressing, hot doctor, delicious foods, genuine romanticism, Regency treasure...and still Phoebe manages to work Bratva bosses and buttplugs into the convo. We limited the spoilers!

S1Q4: Random Reading Rendezvous 3

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 2, 2020 17:29


So, what had happened was...the (R)aunties played the Kindle game again: Pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Ridiculous accents preferred, No context, no cheating!

S1E7: Devil's Lady (aka Crap, How Do We Make Fun of a Good Book?)

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 30, 2020 57:19


So, what had happened was...a lucky rich girl in medieval England (maybe France?) gets to pick her own husband and picks a doozy. Join the Raunties as they celebrate authors and characters worthy of a rousing "Huzzah" for not being completely vapid. Yay! And no spoilers!

S1Q3: Reddit Roulette (R)aunties' Recommendations and Revelations 1

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 26, 2020 17:22


So, what had happened was...the (R)aunties thought it would be funny to keep giving advice (like, "Don't bone your boss") to real people with actual problems. Listen in as they dip in to a new regular segment, "Reddit Roulette!"

S1E6: Ruthless King (aka Is It Coercion If I Was Going To Anyway?)

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 23, 2020 61:44


So, what had happened was...hot rich "misunderstood" dude coerces a fiery redhead into sleeping with him on the regular by threatening her family and saving her business at the same time. How boring would it be if people in these books just *had an effing conversation to clarify* Finally someone who has to work for a living! Join us as we explore what it is like to have a 500K Vajay...sorry, not sorry for all the spoilers.

S1Q2: Random Reading Rendezvous 2

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 22, 2020 14:44


So, what had happened was...The menfolk thought it would be funny to hear us read about clamps, butt joints, nozzles, and caulk. So many tools, so little time...

S1E5: Hot Stuff (aka Advice From Your (R)aunties! And Also There's a Book In Here Somewhere)

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 16, 2020 62:08


So, what had happened was...more rich and beautiful imaginary people act like idiots and receive advice from the (R)aunties. How many times do we have to tell you not to bone your boss or married dudes...especially not your married boss?! Sorry, not sorry for all the spoilers.

S1Q1: Random Reading Rendezvous 1

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2020 18:13


So, what had happened was...the (R)aunties played a game: Pick a number to select a book, page and paragraph from our Kindles for two straight minutes of hilarity. Ridiculous accents preferred, no context, no cheating!

S1E4 : Dirty Letters (aka Love Conquers All When You're Rich)

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 8, 2020 69:59


So, what had happened was...two 25 year olds magically, through their amazing talent and luck are crazy rich and the author takes a quick-fire journey into the ever so lighthearted topic of mental illness, easily conquered by a crush. Oh, the plight of 20-somethings. sorry, not sorry for all the spoilers.

S1E3: Accidental Shield (aka Mango Tea and...)

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 17, 2020 70:35


So, what had happened was...an amnesiac and an ex Navy Seal ate a lot of Hawaiian food, forgot how to use Google and drank a metric sh*t-ton of mango tea while deciding how to describe a house, decorate, redecorate and maybe think about having sex even though they are pretend married. There was much heaving...sorry, not sorry for all the spoilers.

S1E2 : Delicious (aka Food Porn)

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 9, 2020 67:02


So, what had happened was...(spoiler alert!) It was a Cinderella story with excessively detailed food descriptions, douchey bosses, family secrets, uptight aristocrats, and a little bit of sass. A foodie romance novel of love found, love lost, love found again, lost again...wait, was that S&M? love found again...only limited spoilers.

S1E1 : Unprotected with the mob boss (aka Sexy Dancing in Sweatpants)

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 5, 2020 86:20


So, what had happened was...A police chief's daughter met a horrible Russian Mafia boss. There was jogging in underwear, a lot of confusion about pepper spray and some clubwear tips from the (R)aunties along with the now famous "Antonio Banderas tries a Russian accent" blurb... sorry, not sorry for all the spoilers.

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