We Can't Call It The Enterprise

The SG1 team visits planet Santorini, where “party until you drop” is taken literally. When Jack is eats a special brownie and is dubiously able to consent, he catches the “100 days of partying” disease too.It's a race to cure Jack, before the caked-on face makeup takes its toll!How bad is the sex ed situation? Does Scott always make bad choices when he goes on vacation? Find out in this pre-pandemic throwback episode of We Can't Call It The Enterprise.Apologies for this gap in publishing - Vallery is working on VaccinateCA.com, and that demands a lot of time.We Can't Call It The Enterprise aspirationally updates every other Friday. Vallery is currently helping with VaccinateCA, and that eats into podcast timeFind us at not.enterprises, or on Twitter as @NotEnterprise.

Teal'c drops one of his famous withheld-knowledge bombs, and sends the team on an invisible bug catching mission. But when the bugs turn out to merely be the Streisand effect in action, SG1 meets people who can REALLY do space magic. It's all fun and first-contact games until Apophis joins the bug hunt, then it's time for some artificial stakes raising!How much sass runway does Jack have? Is Daniel a good Anthropologist? Is SG1 just going to… walk right in to every trap? Who makes for a better episode, Quark or Lwaxana Troi? Join us this week for a Stargate episode with not enough plot, and two hosts with not enough sleep. Remember when travel was a thing?We Can't Call It The Enterprise aspirationally updates every other Friday. Vallery is currently helping with VaccinateCA, and that eats into podcast timeFind us at not.enterprises, or on Twitter as @NotEnterprise.

A hyper-blue crystal creates a duplicate of Jack that goes home in his place. Instead of discovering this, everyone is keen to supply both sides of the conversation, as if Jack was Gordon Freeman. But when Jack O'Real shows up, they put the pieces together surprisingly quickly.Is there a conspiracy behind office staffing and bathrooms? Does Hammond have a red alert bracelet? How much does the set dressing tail wag the story dog? It's the episode with equal parts emotional realness and bathroom talk. We hope you'll forgive, but not forget us!This episode marks our "re-launch", as we resume editing the terrifying episode backlog. There's some ways to go before the audio quality gets good, but we promise the editing steps up around here!We Can't Call It The Enterprise aspirationally updates every other Friday. Vallery is currently helping with VaccinateCA, and that eats into podcast timeFind us at not.enterprises, or on Twitter as @NotEnterprise.

SG1 travels to the blistering desert of... the BC woods in spring... and finds one of their own has gone rogue. It's up to SG1 to stop a power-mad teammate and help the locals.Jack pulls rank. Sam complains about her ex. Teal'c cracks a smile.We Can't Call It The Enterprise aspirationally updates every other Friday. Vallery is currently helping with VaccinateCA, and that eats into podcast timeFind us at not.enterprises, or on Twitter as @NotEnterprise.

When SG1 visits Planet Night Filter, they find a particularly dramatic civilization-vs-caveman class divide. Unfortunately, being a caveman is contagious, and SG1 brings caveman disease back to the base.Why do so many civilizations have such bad taste? How do cavemen reintegrate into society? Will the general ever finish the post-incident paperwork?We Can't Call It The Enterprise aspirationally updates every other Friday. Vallery is currently helping with VaccinateCA, and that eats into podcast timeFind us at not.enterprises, or on Twitter as @NotEnterprise.

When SG1 goes to Surrey, they are attacked by dogs and start a fight, as one does. Unfortunately, the local Mongolians are sexist (gasp), and Carter's day goes from bad to worse as she's forced to wear a hideous dress then kidnapped.How much bodice is the right amount of bodice, and what the heck is going on in the costume department? Isn't this basically TNG's Code of Honour, racism and all? In this episode, we get defensively drunk to discuss one of the worst episodes of Stargate.We Can't Call It The Enterprise aspirationally updates every other Friday. Vallery is currently helping with VaccinateCA, and that eats into podcast timeFind us at not.enterprises, or on Twitter as @NotEnterprise.

Things are looking dire: every 33 minutes, the team must brace for a Cylon attack - wait, wrong show? Wrong show.Colonel Kwalski comes back with a headache to give a hypochondriac nightmares... can the random doctors save him in time? Will Teal'c be accepted onto the team? Can the Goa'uld just chill for like, A SECOND? Find out in this episode of We Can't Call It The Enterprise.We Can't Call It The Enterprise aspirationally updates every other Friday. Vallery is currently helping with VaccinateCA, and that eats into podcast timeFind us at not.enterprises, or on Twitter as @NotEnterprise.

When a Goa'uld sets Earth as his location in Tinder, Jack O'Neill has some questions to answer about his last big mission. It's up to the brand new SG teams to go into enemy territory and rescue people from their bad dates.Does anything of the host survive? Will the larva swipe right? Can Vallery use a mic properly? Find out in the first episode of We Can't Call It The Enterprise.We Can't Call It The Enterprise aspirationally updates every other Friday. Vallery is currently helping with VaccinateCA, and that eats into podcast timeFind us at not.enterprises, or on Twitter as @NotEnterprise.