Weight Loss Diaries

DAY 11: Three Ways To Stay FocusedOn Your Daily Goals I stepped on the scale today and it said 209.7. I stepped off and then stepped on again. I got back in bed, slightly agitated by what the scale revealed this morning. Certainly not what I was expecting. Before I let loose on all the ways I’ve messed up, I quickly said to myself, “no judgment”. Again in my heart, “no judgment”. I lay there for a moment and thought about my week., my plans, my goals. To my surprise, I was looking at this weigh all wrong! Last Friday, January 4, I weighed 212.7. The next day which was Saturday, January 5,  I weighed in at 209.7. I hadn’t had a stall. I actually lost three pounds. In my head, I was thinking well I lost three pounds on Saturday so I would weigh in today at 206.7. No, no, no! I just lost the weight at the top of the week! So today, I’m celebrating. Yes, celebrating a three-pound weight loss.  It’s so easy for our thoughts to derail us, isn’t it? I asked myself a question today. How can I stay focused on my daily goals? Well today, I’m sharing three ways to do just that. Stick to the plan, prepare smaller meals, and move a little more. These may seem radically simple but they’re getting me massive success, and teaching me how to develop consistency (which I’m finding out is an underlying problem for me in many areas of my life) in the little things. Luke 16:10 says whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. To be faithful is to acknowledge that we are stewards. Each day we’re given 24 hours. How will we use it? Time is precious. I can spend that time developing habits to get me closer to my weight loss goal or developing habits that keep me from reaching my weight loss goal. The choice is ours to make.  Thank you Blessed Home & Body! Visit blessedhomeandbody.com, enter your email address to receive 10% off your first offer. Blessed Home & Body offers inspirational life + style, bath + body, home + decor, and accessories + gifts collections. Shop Blessed Home & Body, prayerfully curated, intentionally designed for virtuous living.  Subscribe and Rate Weight Loss Diaries Podcast! 1. Subscribe to Non-Itunes RSS Feed 2. Weight Loss Diaries Podcast Page Thank you for listening!

Day 10 I'm noticing subtle changes to my face and body. My husband gave me such a sincere compliment today which of course validated what I thought to be true, and that is by focusing on one thing a day and mastering the 24 hours before me, small daily habits create big future success. This eureka of a moment has eased my anxiety over whether or not I'm going to make it through this adventure, fall flat on my face, or worse just totally throw in the towel and quit on myself.  Today, I'm meditating on Galatians 6:4-5 (NLT) "Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself t anyone else. For we are each responsible for our own conduct." Could there be a more empowering scripture for this weight loss adventure? I'm taking this for myself, knowing that each decision I make towards creating my future self is based upon the actions I make today. Drinking more water. Check. My future self thanks me. Going for a walk to clear my head, and get in some exercise. Check. My future self thanks me. Eating according to my daily plan. Check. My future self thanks me. Each choice that I make is either moving me closer to or away from the future self I want to be. the ball is in my court. I am responsible for how I respond to stressful situations, celebrations, disappointments, boredom, anxiety, uncertainty, or hurt. Consistently choosing wisely (my plan is there to help me), is key. By doing so, I look to the tools that I have rather than comparing my life with someone else and wishing I was living their life. Do you feel more inspired when scrolling through those feeds, or are you comparing yourself with others and condemning yourself? Beware! Living vicariously through the lens of perfectly filtered and curated social media lives is dangerous! I too love to get inspired scrolling through by beautiful photos on Instagram feeds, but that's not an action that's getting me closer to my goal. The comparison game is real y'all!  Subscribe and Rate Weight Loss Diaries Podcast! 1. Subscribe to Non-Itunes RSS Feed 2. Weight Loss Diaries Podcast Page

Day 09 I'm taking time to think about what I'm thinking about. Now that I'm becoming even more aware of my thoughts, I realize that the other day I was feeling so anxious but today I'm feeling less anxious. Know why? It had everything to do with what I was thinking about that was causing me to feel anxious. I'm exchanging thoughts about what I believe others may be thinking about me with a powerful scripture found in Isaiah 41:10 that says, " so do not fear for I am with you do not be dismayed for I am your God I will strengthen you and help you I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." I'm examining my thoughts. If they're unhealthy then that's causing me to have unhealthy feelings, which in turn is causing me to make poor choices that aren't going to serve me well; poor choices that are taking me away from my goal.  In this episode, I'm thinking through my morning routine options. I'm trying to remain calm, and not let overwhelm get the best of me as I attempt to figure out how to find the best morning routine for me. How do I fit in my morning devotions, mediation, exercise, time with my husband, pivoting between my 9-5 and small business, plus find time to devote to my weight loss diaries podcast, meal prepping, and evening assessment of my day? And it's only day 09!   

Day 08 What's the one thing I can do today to get me to goal? I can be realistic about my goals. Two things that are a challenge for me is commitment and consistency. I can commit to doing something for someone else but I don't commit to myself very well, and even when I do commit then I struggle to be consistent. In short, I'm consistently inconsistent. I look at myself in the mirror and say you are well deserving. You are deserving of this commitment and consistency. You have a goal to get to. Now how are you going to do that?  First,  follow through on a daily basis, then follow through on a weekly basis, then follow through on a monthly basis so that I can begin to practice and build healthy habits. So I wrote down the question in my journal today, and read it over and over to myself, "what can I do today to get me to my goal? I'm so used to obsessing over my goal but then not really doing anything about it in the present. Panicking, wishing and hoping but not actually committing to a daily practice of building tangible habits that yields real results. In the past I've used an all-or-nothing strategy which gave me immediate results but that approach is just not sustainable.  So now I'm looking at one day at a time. I'm leveling up one healthy habit at a time.  Social Media Info 1. @weightlossdiaries2019 2. #weightlossdiariespodcast I'd love to give a listener shout out on the podcast! Simply scroll down to "Rate & Reviews", and tap "write a review". >Please rate and leave an honest review of the podcast, then > Take a screenshot with #weightlossdiariespodcast, and > Post it on IG and tag a friend!  Subscribe! 1. Subscribe to Non-Itunes RSS Feed 2. Weight Loss Diaries Podcast Page

DAY 07 Weight loss in and of itself is simple, physiologically, that is. If we eat when our bodies need fuel and we don't overeat, for the most part we lose weight. Simple right? But guess what? If losing weight was only about calories in and calories out, then why are so many of us struggling?  Obviously, not so obvious. On many occasions, I've tried to lose weight with various programs. You name it. I've tried it, calorie counting, fitness apps, high protein, low carbs, high fat, lemonade drinks, grapefruit diet, pre-packaged programs, group classes and weekly weigh ins, but what I found in all of those programs was that none of them addressed my mindset around what was causing me to overeat. Mind blowing! My thoughts around weight loss include fear, anxiety, stress, judgment, perfectionism and procrastination--all of which are driving my thoughts and triggering my emotions resulting in me ultimately self-sabotaging. I've been stuck in a cyclical pattern for most of my adult life. I'm just so tired of losing at this. So I asked myself the question, “Why does weight loss have to be so difficult, or does it?” It’s work yes, but most of the work has to do with me addressing the thoughts, feelings and emotions around my weight. And that is work that is getting me results! I’m creating a daily practice of journaling my thoughts, and becoming aware of what I call the NATS (Nasty Agitated Thoughts)--those thoughts that swarm in each and every day to cause me to feel defeated, helpless, and deflated. On this weight loss adventure, I’m learning to renew my mind, exchanging the NATS with empowering thoughts. I’m learning to take a step back, observe my thoughts, and if these thoughts are coming from a place of fear, deprivation, anxiety, or perfectionism, I know that I do not have to let them in. Instead I’ve made a practice of meditating on God’s promises, and purpose for my life. When we deal with our thoughts with intention we know what kind of feelings are going to follow. We are in control. Although I’ve been on this adventure for only a week, I’m beginning to experience how amazing it feels to not be a victim of my emotions and feelings. I have behaved badly on many occasions because my emotions were driving me. Now, for the first time in a very long time, I'm in control. I'm in control of my thought life, my feelings, how much I'm eating, the healthy choices that I'm making on a daily basis, and it's empowering. I’m not so naive to believe that this adventure is going to be perfect. I’m not perfect. Life isn’t perfect. I make mistakes. I mess up on the daily. But so far, I’m blessed to have a taste of what it means to be in control of my life, and that is such an empowering feeling that I want to share with you. Social Media Info 1. @weightlossdiaries2019 2. #weightlossdiariespodcast I'd love to give a listener shout out on the podcast! Simply scroll down to "Rate & Reviews", and tap "write a review". >Please rate and leave an honest review of the podcast, then > Take a screenshot with #weightlossdiariespodcast, and > Post it on IG and tag a friend!  Subscribe! 1. Subscribe to Non-Itunes RSS Feed 2. Weight Loss Diaries Podcast Page            

Day 06 January 6, 2019. I stood on the scale today and I weigh 209.7. I've lost another 3.3 pounds for a total weight loss of 8.3 pounds! Let me say this again. It's January 6, and I started this weight loss adventure on January 1. I'm kind of in shock right now. When I stood on the scale this morning I could feel (and I know this is going to sound crazy), but I could feel a difference in how my body felt. So when I stepped on the scale and it read 209.7, I was like what is happening here. Just the other day I was having a mental break down thinking about 208.1. Why 208.1? Well, I've never been below 208.1 in years. I had built a mental block around getting past this number. I get close to it, self-sabotage, allow my fear, perfectionism, and stress eating curtail my weight loss efforts. So what does it feel like to have 209.7 staring back at me? What does this number tell me? It's a just a number on the scale. It's not my identity.  How I feel about myself should not rise or fall with the number on the scale and that's what I'm working towards. For me, I know that I can get so caught up in that.  The scale is up therefore I feel dread and discouragement. The number on the scale goes down. I feel happy. And like that, as it just jumps up and down so do my emotions.  I’ve adopted a new practice when stepping on the scale. One that is based purely on assessing the number without emotion, judgment or criticism. I haven’t yet mastered this entirely but it’s worth practicing. No matter what the scale says, I look at it as just a number. It is a number. It informs me how much I weigh.  It does not define my worth, value, identity, intellect, curiosity, or depth. I'm learning to view it solely as information and observation, and then pivot from there. Adopting this practice of eating is empowering. It’s putting me in a position where on a daily basis I am in control of what I am eating becoming increasingly aware of the difference between physiological hunger vs. emotional hunger. I've been practicing mindful eating on this weight loss adventure for for six days now and I'm down 8.3 pounds.  I'm 1.6 pounds away from 208.1. Rather than let my anxiety overtake me, I am choosing to hit pause, revel in the moment, and take all of this in. I just need to do that. I want give myself the time to celebrate my little daily wins. They are significant. Each step towards getting to after is significant. I shouldn't say little because I shouldn’t minimize my work, my progress, trusting the process,  creating consistency where there was chaos, developing daily habits that create the future self that I am becoming. Above all, loving myself now through the messy middle and getting to after.  Social Media Info 1. @weightlossdiaries2019 2. #weightlossdiariespodcast I'd love to give a listener shout out on the podcast! Simply scroll down to "Rate & Reviews", and tap write a review. >Please rate and leave an honest review of the podcast, then > Take a screenshot with #weightlossdiariespodcast, and > Post it on IG and tag a friend!  Subscribe! 1. Subscribe to Non-Itunes RSS Feed 2. Weight Loss Diaries Podcast Page  

Day 05 I'm feeling anxious about completing week one. Well I mean I'm just really anxious about what's to come. This morning as I'm journaling I'm having all of these negative thoughts come up. There's a few of them so I'm just going to look at them one by one so that I can be aware of them, and question them Most importantly, I need to counteract that thought with a more encouraging thought. It's not always easy to do that when those condemning thoughts are knocking at the door of my mind. I'm no longer allowing destructive thoughts to sabotage my progress in this weight loss journey. The first thought that came to my mind was that "it's only a matter of time before you mess up". Yep, it is. It is only a matter of time before I mess up because you know what? Life isn't perfect. I'm not perfect. I will make mistakes. I will mess up, and when I do I have to tell myself my recovering perfectionist self, you will make a mistake. You will mess up. Okay so then what? The world is still spinning! What happens next depends on my next thought. So I fall off the wagon. That makes me a human being. Trust the process. True transformation takes place in the messy middle.  So I am prepared to make a mistake but it's only a mistake if I don't learn from it. I'm going to choose to look at my thoughts. Journal my way through them. Forgive myself. Show kindness and compassion when I fall down. I'm going to choose to love myself back to where I need to be. Social Media Info 1. @weightlossdiaries2019 2. #weightlossdiariespodcast I'd love to give a listener shout out on the podcast! Simply scroll down to "Rate & Reviews", and tap write a review. Please rate and leave an honest review of the podcast, take a photo, and post a photo of your review #weightlossdiariespodcast and tag a friend!  Subscribe! 1. Subscribe to Non-Itunes RSS Feed 2. Weight Loss Diaries Podcast Page

Day 04 So I wrote down in my journal this morning this question: what if I don't quit? What could happen? I asked myself this question out loud, “What if I don't quit ?” If I don't know anything else about myself I know this for sure, that when I have a goal before me I become consumed with the goal so much so that I forget to do what I need to do today to get to the goal. Subsequently,  I begin to just obsess over what's going on in the future to my own detriment rather than focusing on my daily meal plan, movement, staying hydrated, getting enough rest, and practicing self care. I just can't obsess about what's going to happen the future. I can't obsess about how long it's going to take me to get to my goal weight. In the past, that’s what I did. It only made me frustrated. I felt defeated. I felt stressed and I felt anxious. I was repeatedly missing the mark, not having any weight loss success whatsoever.  I would just focus on something that was so far in the future that I really was not even paying attention to what I was doing at the at the current moment right in the present moment. Today, I'm looking ahead at my goals for this week. I’m also looking at my 30, and 60 day goals as well. So I reverse engineered my goals, beginning with 60, then 30, then weekly, then daily. So right now my goal for January 30, 2019 is to lose 7.75 pounds. My goal for this week is to lose about 1.94 pounds, so that would mean that my goal for March 1, 2019 (which seems like eons away) and although that seems daunting to think that far ahead in the future, I'm writing down my goals through March 1, 2019. My focus is on what is the one thing that I can do today that will move me towards my future goals? Social Media Info 1. @weightlossdiaries2019 2. #weightlossdiariespodcast Subscribe! 1. Subscribe to Non-Itunes RSS Feed 2. Weight Loss Diaries Podcast Page

DAY 03. Although I'm excited by all the newness of my weight loss adventure, I thought it might be good for me to identify the excuses that I've used in the past that I've let sabotage my weight loss journey. In the past I've started out with a lot of momentum and then fizzle out. This time is different. Yes, I'm super excited by the novelty of starting something new. This time, I tell myself that I am no longer going to  give myself the gift of excuses to get out of doing what I know I should be doing in order to lose weight. Social Media Info 1. @weightlossdiaries2019 2. #weightlossdiariespodcast Subscribe! 1. Subscribe to Non-Itunes RSS Feed 2. Weight Loss Diaries Podcast Page

Day 2 of my weight loss adventure through the messy middle and getting to after. Today, I returned to work after a week long break. For some reason, I feel indifferent. Maybe it's because I've been home spending time with my husband, family and friends. From out of no where I'm feeling a looming feeling. Expectations of my work life? I feel a weightiness in my chest. I don't like the feeling of things left undone, but the perfectionist in me hangs between it's not good enough to start, and yet not good enough to finish. That in turn, just ramps up feelings of anxiety. Despite how I feel, and how much I have to get done, I have to prioritize my health. Social Media Info 1. @weightlossdiaries2019 2. #weightlossdiariespodcast Subscribe! 1. Subscribe to Non-Itunes RSS Feed 2. Weight Loss Diaries Podcast Page

Day 01. I stood on the scale this morning and I'm two hundred eighteen pounds. I'd rather say 218 (two-eighteen) because that sounds like an Interstate or an apartment number or the number of marbles in a jar but two hundred eighteen sounds reeeally heavy. What does this number mean to me? This number means I'm overweight.  Actually obese. No actually, actually morbidly obese I mean I weigh as much as a football player-an NFL football player. I weigh more than my husband. I always have. It feels overwhelming. It feels disturbing It feels disheartening. I feel disgusted by it. I feel afraid. I'm a fairly smart and confident person. I've had a lot of success and many areas of my life. Weight loss has not been one of them.  What do I want to believe about this number on the scale? Well in spite of all the thoughts that are banging at the door of my mind right now, I'm choosing to believe that this number is just a number. It doesn't define who I am. It doesn't say how trusting of a friend I am or how committed I am to my husband, or how nurturing a parent I am, or how productive I am as a or co-worker. Yet somehow I've made it out to mean that I am failing in some way. Being overweight has overshadowed a lot of my life in ways that I never really thought about but now that I'm giving myself to a time to think and pray deeply through it, I have more of an intentional thought life around weight loss. I'm creating a new narrative in the messy middle and getting to after. Step One. Do Not Quite. No matter what.  Social Media Info 1. @weightlossdiaries2019 2. #weightlossdiariespodcast Subscribe! 1. Subscribe to Non-Itunes RSS Feed 2. Weight Loss Diaries Podcast Page

Weight Loss Diaries is a real time, real life chronicle of intentional reflection, rants, and renegade behavior. In my quest through the “messy middle” and “getting to after”, I’ve decided to give myself permission to succeed in this weight loss journey. I’m taking a leap of faith to prove my intentions right--that if I sow daily seeds of healthy spiritual, emotional and physical habits, love myself along the way, then I can be successful at weight loss no matter what. I believe that true transformation takes place in in what I like to call the “messy middle” and “getting to after”.  By chronicling my real life ramblings, I hope to uncover my own hidden habits, thoughts, and feelings behind my reasons for self-sabotage, taking an honest examination of my thought life which I believe is the real culprit that has repeatedly undermined my weight loss success--yep I’m tearing down all those condemning, unhealthy, shameful, guilt-ridden thoughts that led me to make poor choices, and ultimately quit on myself over and over and over again. In my pursuit of happiness, gratitude, kindness and purposeful living, I am learning to love, respect and honor myself and others, to adopt a new narrative not only around my weight and weight loss (or gain), but also around owning my responsibility to make consistent healthy choices even in the midst of mess ups, failures, and setbacks. Weight Loss Diaries is a real time real life weight loss adventure that began the day after I took my before selfie, and chronicles my 365 day emotional, physical, mental and spiritual quest to becoming the best version of myself and living my most virtuous life. Hey there! Thank you for listening to this episode Weight Loss Diaries-a daily audio journey through the messy middle and getting to after. I’m so glad you found me. If you're a new fan of the show please go to Apple podcasts or your favorite podcast app and subscribe while you're there. When you do the most recent episode of Weight Loss Diaries will be downloaded into your podcast library. Then once you’re subscribed, new episodes will download automatically as soon as they are available. And since this is a daily show, you’ll get a daily dose of inspiration brought right into your earbuds! Can I ask another favor? I would love to know how I am doing, so please take a moment to leave me an honest review. And if Weight Loss Diaries is helping you, I’d love for you to share it with your friends. Thanks for listening! Social Media Info 1. @weightlossdiaries2019 2. #weightlossdiariespodcast Subscribe! 1. Subscribe to Non-Itunes RSS Feed 2. Weight Loss Diaries Podcast Page