Jefferson Avenue Waystation

I know, I know, you can't go to the bar. I know you're held down there. Well, shut up now, my friend, and please open up your one and only MacAdam's Beer Mobile Kit, which will allow you to enjoy both the beer and the atmosphere of Jefferson Avenue Waystation from the slovenly comfort of your own domicile. This kit includes: - 20 oz. aluminum tube full of carbon-pack MacAdam's beer - Brass fitting for beer dispensing - Plastic MacAdam's branded cup wrapped in 70's newsprint - Flashdrive containing voice recording and text transcript

Oh, how lovely, a customer. Oh, do come in. Oh my, you should absolutely get yourself a drink. Topics covered: helpful garbage, the rude grocer, the cohesive subject, the disruptions, taxonomy, the traveling linguist, killing unnecessary businesses, unethical business lures

Stride in! Bring your bulk into this pub! Love this beer, since I really love it. Topics covered: MacAdam revisited, the isthmus between beings, unoriginal axioms

Topics covered: always check the name, beer aerosol,

Come in. Drink. Give me your company and friends. I need, I need. Do you need? Topics covered: the very distant doppelgänger, the gruesome jaw, take in the brown atmosphere, dissolved CO2, the head injury, the importance and menace of imagination, the slovenly nature of living creatures, the excess of vocabulary, the irreversible flow of beer, the Rubayyat, vindication of the problem, existing in spite of absence

In! In with ye! Set yerself to ye shanks, dog, and clap ye lips to this brown foeter. Thou hast a deep thirst, aye. Topics covered: in it to win it, the certificate of payment, ancient Laputians, JP Sartre, vicarious enjoyment of disgusting things, sapient arachnids, Mulholland Dr revenant, gorilla suit

Well! I'd like to thank you for... coming by the... uhhh... Jefferson Avenue Waystation. It's a pub we have here and we serve all stouts. Topics covered: with all five senses, the beauty of secular life, the egg of MacAdam's, the creature that knows the truth,

Did you see my sign? I'm glad you saw my sign. Now you may sit before me and sip on MacAdam's beer. Repose, imbibe, and decline the urge to leave. Topics covered: the night shift, the concern for miscreants, the ubiquity of generosity, the myth of brain sound, the coming renaissance of tile caulking, it can only be done once, practice, the virtue of reticence in bad people

Hey you, hey fella. Step in to this little overhang of a pub. Sip on this near-fluid. We shall be as one, not special at all but deserving of love. Topic covered: your treasured community, the trucker's thirst, the glass bottom and the dove, the lovesick harbinger, the bad cure, we suffer for Mrs. Karplinksky, the ambient sounds of the pub

Quit your jittering now and take a seat on this high stool. You've been convicted of drought and dreariness, and your punishment is MacAdam's beer. Topics covered: the brown motif, leaving the party alone, the equalization of beer, the misery of pizza, the curse witch's decline, the bandit brewers, an excess of allusions, please pay for your beer

Sorry I've missed you earlier, I accidentally put a bottle brush down my trachea and now it can be heard in my voice. Come in, drink up! Topics covered: all my friends, the most fantastic way to die, the ages of land, the morality of swearing, the swear-witch people, what is people?

I was wrong, as I often am. Please come in, drink up, and eat up if you've brought some food. Topics covered: automatic window frosting, the cruel process of malting, the taxonomy of meat preference, filthy hospital treats, porcine body types, pale, lanky Swedes, the failed debridement

Welcome back to the folded font, from which the tank which the good world sips. Topics covered: denomination slang, number neighbors, the witch again

Hurry up now and get in here. We have a very nifty sale going on in which we will be selling you MacAdam's beer at one dollar per ounce, rather than ten dollar per ten ounces. Pretty great, huh? Topics covered: sadness and lassitude, heavy metal poisoning, the wood spirits from the wood sprite, the cosmic stew

Is it morning? Is it evening? Don't let it make you anxious, it's time for a tall, ten-ounce glass of MacAdam's beer. Topics covered: glass shards of plastic, French titles, tectonic rafts

How are ya? It is the Jefferson Avenue Waystation, which will be here, even when there is nothing else here. Topics covered: what if you were a garbage man, the unredeemable and self-replicating hatred, the human part of natural history, the importance of unimportant conversations

Shh, come in quickly. Hey, oh my goodness it's you! Have yourself a glass of MacAdam's beer and let's talk it up. Topics covered: the 12-hour effect, the curse of the curse witch, sound-conducting wire, the murderous philosopher's stone

Hiya! Well aren't you a cup of dash. Come on in and have yourself a glass of MacAdam's beer Topics covered: liquid breakfast, simple mind, the wretchedness of girth, the beer refinery commercial complex, the immutability of humanity, I cannot express the essence of human companionship, the Steinbeck controversy, the soapbox claustrophobia, the customer disagrees respectfully, death worship, dubious penitence, the customer is satisfied!

Shush now, but keep me company. Have a glass of MacAdam's Beer. Topics covered: quieten down just a bit, the biggest beverage company in the world, let's go on at length about abjads and abugidas

Oh, don't mind me. I'll pour you a small glass of MacAdam's beer. Maybe soon you'll be happy. Topics covered - the president that named the pub, the light-impermeable layer of the beer, the lumpy beer scandal, the Vsauce plagiarism, the isolated brain-loop, the slapshot tragedy, the antiquity of 20 Questions, how MacAdam's Beer fulfills the entirety of your brain, the right to irresponsibility, the Curse-Witch forgives my swearing about Karl Marx, the inverted future, the shadow war between witches and devils and the implied gender biases, your obligation to replace my lost love, the malevolent agenda of the holy saints, my slow dissolution

HEYYY. Sorry about that tone of voice, I frightened the children. I'm fighting back the lassitude so that I can serve you up a tall, tiny glass of MacAdam's Beer. Topics covered: futile promotional package, the body/brain demarcation, the unsaleable MacAdam, the unavoidable drowning death, the unthinkable oath, remove the thorn, don't blame Victor, the fool-proof test, the failed invasion of the Sun, the gnome lifetimes of the sun people

How'd ya! Come on in, partner. Here now I will attempt to describe the greatest pleasures in life over your glass of MacAdam's Beer, and spout out a great many malapropisms in the process. Topics covered: confusing "drunk" with "drank", the spycam, the only moment of pleasure, I say "thaliva" at one point, the homily of Buddha, the sullen and misguided misogyny of Daniel MacAdam, failure to understand thermodynamics, the compartmentalized disintegration of a conscious being, to mollify the tremendous dread by immersion, trapped in a confused state forever, apprehension as a fragile sensation, the embarrassment of non-near-death, the incredible unheard tale, a tragedy without intrigue, my wife comes home and ends the podcast abruptly.

Shush now, your woes will be shellacked under the tacky coat of MacAdam's Beer, which can only be found in Jefferson Avenue Waystation. Topics covered: late night beer, the ownership of time, the failure to explain one's self, the joy of being disproven, the portfolio of incomplete parts, the objectivity of quality, early innocent mornings, let's try to remember Hibernia, you a probably not average by any measure, do not distain the brain, insulting poetry

Hey! Easy with that door! Oops, that came off harsh. Let's get back onto it and pour you a glass of pure pleasure. Topics covered- the only person on earth, the conjecture of popular taste, the flash, the new Newspeak, the callous geode, the nightgown for men, Skaskatchewan, the pointless music box, you're my favorite customer, Bartok the turtle dove, frequently examine your position, the crapping of an evil cricket in ExtraHell, everyone is entitled to help

Easy with that cranky door, it leads into the haven that is the Jefferson Avenue Waystation, where leverage gets you beverage. Topics discussed: a hope for lunch, the ideal future, the curse of MacAdam, my previous life as the HMS Terror, horrible fathers, the new business model, the blue site, ignoring pain, measuring languages, the raw soul, the wisdom of Bernbaum

Oh, hello. I was about to close up shop but I'll stay open a little bit longer. Welcome to the Jefferson Avenue Waystation, where we tear down the axioms. Topics covered: land of bad choices, daycare for all, explosive obscenity, plywood, the sound practicality of baseless optimism, the detective witch, the biological sound mill, Isaac Newton was full of shit, my notepad full of amazing ideas, the mercy of not understanding, nanoscopic espionage, consume the sphere, the familiarity of evil, the birthright to Giza

Oh, hello. I was about to close up shop but I'll stay open a little bit longer. Welcome to the Jefferson Avenue Waystation, where we tear down the axioms. Topics covered: land of bad choices, daycare for all, explosive obscenity, plywood, the sound practicality of baseless optimism, the detective witch, the biological sound mill, Isaac Newton was full of shit, my notepad full of amazing ideas, the mercy of not understanding, nanoscopic espionage, consume the sphere, the familiarity of evil, the birthright to Giza

Topics covered: the enviable station, fresh chopped onions, the need to relieve, consent to accidental nudity, agreement to hyperbole, indestruschable, arctic hell cabin, frightful hypotheses, the purpose of propagation, the expensive truth of MacAdam's beer, a third glass to the most ascetic being, clean the spotty wall

Whoops, we cut in just at the right moment. Welcome to Jeffy Ave, where the beer is scooped from silver basins in elven trees. Topics include: plastic cups, drunken language, sleep process, the righteousness of dying, dirty water, ignorance

Hey, welcome to Jeffy Ave! Whoop whoop! Bring it in, guys. Topics discussed: Ruben's awful painting, murder, your Endgame, Stella's cornbread muffins, gender geopolitics, the weaponized voyeur, terrifying sexual near-miss, here and back again, the repulsive mishap, forced closure

Please be patient, this is a short one. This is Jefferson Avenue Waystation, where the pub man serves an exquisite beverage. Please sit down. Topics include: clogged tap, wire, phone call, table-top book

Come on in and listen to the pub man talk about mental vocabulary, fire fairies, and men's breasts. Here at JAW, we serve the most palatable MacAdam's Beer. Please share in any capacity. Facebook, Twitter, whatever.

I've got this new podcast rupturing from the greasy skin of my heart's soup, and it's called Jefferson Avenue Waystation. It's hosted by a nameless narrator who will invite you into his pub and treat you to a dark, ichorous brew of his own creation.