Kintsugi Life

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Kintsugi Life - a podcast that encourages the learning, growing and strengthening of ourselves as we work through hardship and challenge in all aspects of life, including in business, relationships, health and wellbeing, physical and personal development. It applies the principles of the Japanese ar…

Toby Hazlewood


    • May 14, 2021 LATEST EPISODE
    • weekly NEW EPISODES
    • 12m AVG DURATION
    • 116 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Kintsugi Life

    115: To run, fight or accept

    Play Episode Listen Later May 14, 2021 10:28


    In this episode I consider the three basic options that we all have when faced with something we don't like. It's nothing new, but we all seem to waste time looking or hoping for a fourth or fifth option as if one will miraculously appear... it won't! You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3e7VU6p If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    114: Missing Our Targets and Losing Focus — Sinful Behaviour?

    Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2021 8:55


    In this episode I consider an alternate definition to the word 'Sin' and learn how it applies to the process by which we work towards our goals and targets in life. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3eGq27X If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    113: An Easy Life Isn't a Meaningful Life

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 30, 2021 11:12


    In this episode I consider the three components of meaningful work as identified by Malcolm Gladwell in his book 'Outliers'. The same three principles seem to apply equally to creating meaning in our lives too. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2QILmBI If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    112: We are all subject to the same statistical odds in life - both good and bad

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 16, 2021 10:00


    In this episode I consider how the same statistical odds apply to each and every one of us in life - these explain why some of the good things happen to us but also the bad things too. When we accept this, it helps life to seem more predictable. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3sCaA2j If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    111: Misdirected Anger is the Most Futile Kind of Anger

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 9, 2021 7:24


    In this episode I consider the expression 'Don't hate the player, hate the game and reflect how it helps to explain how sometimes we direct our anger towards the wrong people or things when facing a struggle. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2PgUqgn If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    110: Challenging the way we think about Forgiveness

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 2, 2021 14:58


    In this episode I consider eight prompts to help us think differently about forgiveness and what it means to forgive. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3dvW85R If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    109: The Relationship Truths I Wish I Knew at 21 Years Old

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 26, 2021 12:52


    In this episode I consider the lessons I've learned about relationships that would have served me well if I'd known them at the age of 21. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/38xmt1F If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    108: Doing Nothing is Sometimes the Best Course of Action

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 19, 2021 13:47


    In this episode I discuss how it can sometimes be counter-productive to rush into action when it might be better to pause and consider doing nothing or holding off impulsive action. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/3rJ6zZk If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    107: Do You Want a Marriage or Just a Wedding

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 12, 2021 7:57


    In this episode I consider the way that we often focus on the end-state and the labels that life will give us rather than on following the process and putting in the work to get there. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/3rKWgnJ If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    106: The Importance of Empathy - Focus more on WE and less on ME

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 23, 2021 8:19


    In this episode I consider the many important aspects of empathy and the many benefits it can serve to adopt and practice empathy in our lives. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/39O3qBc If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    105: Rediscover the joy of learning and feed your inner-child

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 16, 2021 5:51


    This episode considers the many joys and benefits of recapturing that child-like enthusiasm for learning and education. As adults, many lose it and it's a real shame as a curious mind can bring enormous benefit to our life. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/2MB1KSI If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    104: Why are humans so impatient and how can we overcome this tendency?

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 9, 2021 16:56


    I've been considering the many ways in which we humans seem to demonstrate an innate impatience about anything that will take time to deliver results and in this episode I attempt to unpack why this is and why I think we can do better. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/36FAMAf If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    103: On my 45th Birthday - 10 Lessons I've Learned about Life

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 5, 2021 10:29


    This episode is based around a list of 10 lessons and reflections on life, that I have been contemplating as I turn 45. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/3jlCj3F If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    102: A Recipe for Successful and Happy Relationships

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 22, 2021 9:27


    This episode is all about the vital ingredients for forming and maintaining a successful relationship. It's simple, and yet not easy but the same principles matter in all scenarios, whether personal or professional. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/3bFZOme If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    101: Set Intentions, Not Resolutions

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 15, 2021 12:03


    At this time of year it's common to decide on new ways to change our lives. In this episode I share why I think intentions are better than resolutions in supporting us in instigating change in our lives. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/38GRikM If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    100: Forget the Morning Routine, but Wake Up Early Anyway

    Play Episode Listen Later Jan 5, 2021 8:18


    In this the first episode of the new year, I want to share my one big tip for getting the most out of your life - It's about getting more time in your day, not just a series of success hacks and routines. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3qlz5A8 If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    Holiday Special - Christmas Festivities by Charles Dickens - A Message of Hope

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 22, 2020 8:45


    This episode revisits a short reading from the piece - Christmas Festivities by Charles Dickens. It's a favourite of mine and whether you celebrate Christmas or not, I hope you'll find the sentiments of the piece as heart warming and entertaining as I do! Happy holidays and Merry Christmas to you and yours. I hope that 2021 is a great year for us all. If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    099: There's a time for tenacity, and a time for letting go

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 17, 2020 4:14


    We're conditioned to believe that grit, resilience and endless commitment are what it takes to succeed. But there's also a time for giving in gracefully. This short episode considers why that is. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/33AeFtx If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    098: Life Tends Towards Complexity - It doesn't get easier.

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 10, 2020 5:42


    An examination of the tendency for life to become more complex the older we get, rather than becoming easier. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3lEZCVH If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    097: A Tactic for Dealing with Surly and Indifferent People

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 3, 2020 8:25


    As a parent I'm always struggling to adapt to the latest challenges presented by my kids - of late it's the surly and indifferent attitude of my teenage daughters. In this episode I share my thoughts on how to deal with such tests from teenagers and others who react in such a way. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3ltHf5L If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    096: Don't expect anything to be easy or comfortable to begin with

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2020 7:33


    Taking the lessons from breaking in a new pair of hiking boots, I share my thoughts on how we often go into new projects and ventures in life, expecting that everything will feel easy and comfortable to begin with. This is seldom the case, nor should it be a surprise. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3l4DUuE If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    095: Searching for meaning in the death of a loved one

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 20, 2020 8:47


    Some things happen in life that seem devoid of meaning and purpose - like they're merely a cause for pain and hurt. In this episode I discuss how I've been searching for some sense of meaning and purpose behind the loss of a family member. The same principle can apply to other times of extreme hurt too. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3l62vz1 If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    094: Remember to Use it or Lose it

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 13, 2020 12:03


    When we're trying to focus on how to improve our lives or achieve a goal it is common to focus on what we have to do or achieve. This episode discusses the idea of inverting our thinking to focus instead on what we can remove from or avoid in life to improve our overall situation. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2JGqTtq If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    093: Handling Trauma by learning to accept it and be changed by it

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 6, 2020 9:13


    Accepted tactics for overcoming trauma and hardship often focus on grit and resilience to overcome the issue. This episode discusses the idea of accepting that through trauma the most appropriate response may be to let ourselves be changed by it. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/32j43P3 If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    092: Avoiding the things that make you miserable

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 27, 2020 6:56


    When we're trying to focus on how to improve our lives or achieve a goal it is common to focus on what we have to do or achieve. This episode discusses the idea of inverting our thinking to focus instead on what we can remove from or avoid in life to improve our overall situation. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3lbci6K If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    091: Choosing to Live with Hope and Optimism

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 20, 2020 6:01


    In this episode I try and unpack why it is that I occasionally buy a lottery ticket - something that has a very low statistical chance of paying off. I discuss how we can see much of what we do in life as ways of building in hope for the future. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/34vy0vj If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    090: The Value of Silence in a Peaceful and Productive Life

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 13, 2020 10:04


    This episode is my take on the role of silence and the power of a quiet life in helping us live calmly, peacefully and productively. Lockdown has been a useful reminder of how much I value silence in my life and I discuss in this episode how silence (and noise) plays a role in my life. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2GlsKCM If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    089: Stop Expecting Happiness to be Perpetual

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 6, 2020 9:02


    This episode considers the idea of happiness and whether we're right to hope for (or even expect) perpetual happiness. Happy ever after is a myth. We need happiness but we also need sadness and disappointment in order to appreciate the good times. This will hopefully help explain why. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2SC7yup If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    088: Each day promises as much as the next

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 29, 2020 13:21


    I have a mental block about Mondays and often overlook that Monday is the same as any other day of the week with as much promise and opportunity as any other. I often seem to single out other points in time for arbitrary reasons while overlooking the fact that dates in the future are often meaningless and paradoxically as precious as any other. In this episode, I discuss my thinking on the subject. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3haSONe If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    087: It's Not About you - Feeling Misunderstood or Ignored? Try Having a Little Empathy

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 22, 2020 6:27


    When you're feeling like others simply don't get where you're coming from, consider that perhaps the misunderstanding stems from you putting yourself in the middle of all things which may be what is preventing you from being truly understood and appreciated by others. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/35l6fba If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    086: I need to get better at asking for help

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2020 10:25


    I've demonstrated a history in my life of being poor at asking for and receiving help from others. There can be a misconception about those who ask for help being weak or needy - the opposite is often true. To understand where you have a weakness or need for assistance and to then seek it out is actually a superpower of sorts. In this episode I talk about why that is. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/336Kx7U If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    085: What I Learned from going off grid for a month

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 9, 2020 12:49


    I took most of the month of August to go off the grid, using my smartphone minimally and accessing email, social media and news in general far less frequently than normal. This episode discusses my experiences and shares the lessons learned. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/33cs0a9 If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    084: Take The Plunge - Do One Thing Each Day That Scares You

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 1, 2020 6:35


    When procrastinating over whether (or whether not) to start something, more often than not we're held back by fear. It's either fear of failure, or fear of success (that the outcome may not be as good as we hoped). In this episode I dissect why the only choice open to us in times of procrastination is to take the plunge and do what we're putting off. It's the only way we will find out what happens next. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2X5vRnl If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    083: The Indisputable Rules of Time

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 25, 2020 11:01


    When my daughter went off to university I tried to ensure she was prepared for the world as all parents do. One thing I was really concerned she should understand was the rules of time, and how we are custodians of how we use our time and of what we get done in life. This episode describes these rules as they apply in our lives. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2DdK1M2 If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    082: How Can We Tell If Our Efforts are Paying Off in Life?

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 18, 2020 10:31


    It can be challenging in daily life to understand whether our efforts are paying off or supporting us in our goals. In this episode I discuss how many of the things we devote our energies towards only come about with the passing of time and as a culmination of our efforts. It can be useful to be reminded of this from time to time as we strive to overcome difficulty or to achieve challenging things. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2CVGnqn If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    081: Seven Lessons the Financial Markets Can Teach Us About Life

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 11, 2020 11:07


    As I reflect on the 'rules of thumb' surrounding finance and investing, it strikes me that there are equivalent rules for life more generally. In this episode I explore some of these rules and describe the parallels between the world of finance and daily life. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3jMqxio If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    080: The Softest Pillow Is A Clear Conscience

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 4, 2020 7:01


    In this episode I share how the quote that is the title of the episode came to my notice, and how it seems to signpost a way of living life positively. The conscience can be a good guide to the actions we should take and how we should act and treat others. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3jzqdU5 If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    079: Loosen your grip on that which you cannot control

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 28, 2020 7:31


    We often cause our own problems and feelings of dissatisfaction through wrestling for control over things that are outside of our control. Letting go of these is not the same as giving up hope of influencing our life though, and in this episode I discuss how we can take control of things within our influence and be more stoic about what is outside our control. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3fYbCzr If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    078: An Exhortation To Not Go Crazy With The Lifting of Lockdown

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2020 8:30


    In this episode I discuss my thoughts on how our natural tendency as humans to take as much as we can, as quickly as possible when given the opportunity, doesn't bode well for the measured adoption of freedoms as lockdown measures start to be lifted. In life we seem to have a tendency to go too far at times - I know I do. With freedoms being granted to us once again, will we react in a careful and considered fashion or go wild? Either could happen. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/38orOH0 If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    077: Do What's Right, Because It's Right

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2020 7:12


    In this episode I explore the ways in which we kid ourselves that we have a good reason to do or not to do something when we know deep down that it's not the right thing. In a time when there is so much that we need to be doing as a society to prevent the spread of Covid-19 (such as wearing masks for example) it seems necessary to remember that sometimes we should do what's right, simply because it IS RIGHT! You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3gmotLp If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    076: From Now On I'll Be Taking My Time

    Play Episode Listen Later May 26, 2020 7:30


    In this episode I explore how having my diary cleared of commitments and plans by Coronavirus has been refreshing in prompting me to reflect on how I'll approach commitments and opportunities in future. I'd become used to rushing from one thing to the next, not always savouring or valuing what I was in the midst of. No longer will that be my approach! This episode describes why. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2zPLsyy If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    075: Redefining Success to Mean "Enough"

    Play Episode Listen Later May 19, 2020 12:07


    In this episode I explore the idea that our definition of Success can be constraining when it merely means more than we have already. Perhaps we need instead to consider it is successful when we have all that we need? With Covid-19 stripping people of their income and health it focuses the mind on being able to be grateful and satisfied with what we have. In the episode I refer to the book 'Stillness is the Key' by Ryan Holiday. I'd highly recommend you reading it if you are interested in the ideas in this podcast. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3dWNbkr If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    074: Maybe We Can't Handle The Truth

    Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2020 11:02


    In this episode I discuss my thoughts on the concept of the Truth. We are all searching for the truth, we'd like to believe we know the truth and we seek the truth constantly. But, do we really believe it when it doesn't suit us to? Why do we concoct truths that suit us and selectively believe other things even if they're irrefutable? You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3dnINuj If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    073: This is Our New Normal

    Play Episode Listen Later May 5, 2020 7:38


    What are you waiting for? When we hang on for something in life to change, or for life itself to fundamentally improve, we are in fact overlooking that what we have right now is what is normal. It may not be what we used to have and had grown accustomed to. It may not be what we'd like it to be. It is what it is though. As we go through the Covid-19 Pandemic, there's a lot to be said for accepting that maybe things aren't likely to return to being as they used to be. At the very least, we shouldn't' spend our lives waiting for it to go back to how it was. You can also read an article in the same topic at https://bit.ly/2Wu50Af If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    072: Is this the appropriate time for blaming and complaining?

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 28, 2020 9:48


    It seems right now that many are fixated on who to blame for the Coronavirus crisis. Whether seeking to blame individuals, governments or nations, it seems obvious that there's a time when it's appropriate to look for root cause, to establish what went wrong and a time for focusing instead on solving the problem at hand. In this episode I explore the idea of when it's the right time to look for fault and cause, and when we'd be better off getting on and trying to solve the problem at hand. You can also read an article in the same topic at https://bit.ly/356rr2q If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    071: How Will Prepare for the Future Based on Lessons From Today

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2020 14:30


    In this episode I explore how the lessons learned from living through the Covid-19 lockdown have made me think about what I can do to prepare better for the future, financially, materially, spiritually and emotionally. All of life's experiences bring forth lessons and it's important to take these onboard to live better in future. You can also read an article in the same topic at https://bit.ly/2RWEvBW If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    070: Keep Your World Small - A Tactic for Weathering Adversity

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 14, 2020 6:58


    In this episode I want to share how I approach times of adversity such as the one we find ourselves in the midst of, right now. It's a means of reducing overwhelm and allowing ourselves to focus on what's right in front of us. You can also read an article in the same topic at https://bit.ly/39OpyYG If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    069: Some Positives That Might Come Out Of Coronavirus

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 7, 2020 9:11


    In this episode I explore some of the positive effects that I've already observed as the current Coronavirus pandemic unfolds and which I've experienced in my own life. You can also read the article at https://bit.ly/2RiP9CW I hope that you and your loved ones are keeping well and that you remain safe and healthy. If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    068: A Stoic Toolkit for Overcoming Adversity - Perception, Action and Will

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 31, 2020 11:45


    In this episode I examine the difficulties I sometimes experience as I deal with feelings of enthusiasm, quickly followed by despondency and a loss of motivation. I share how re-reading the book 'The Obstacle Is The Way' by Ryan Holiday helped me understand how Stoic philosophy encourages us to respond to obstacles that we encounter in life. You can also read the article at https://bit.ly/2QX355b If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    067: The Importance of Doing the Small Stuff - Do It Anyway!

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 17, 2020 7:57


    This episode is based on an article I wrote to share the importance of doing the small stuff in life well, and without question. Often we convince ourselves that the small actions don't make a difference, and we obsess over how to make the big things happen in life: love, happiness and fulfilment. Instead, we need to give the small things equal attention and focus. You can also read the article at http://bit.ly/3cY8mTF If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

    066: Dealing with Guilt as a Parent (and in life)

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 10, 2020 12:18


    This episode is based on an article I wrote to examine why I feel so much guilt as a parent on a near daily basis. Guilt comes from multiple sources and lots of different places in life and it's really not a helpful feeling. In this episode I've tried to examine where my guilt comes from as a parent, and the things that prompt it in my life as a parent and in life more generally. You can also read the article at http://bit.ly/2VNIF1J If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

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