Kintsugi Life

In this episode I consider the three basic options that we all have when faced with something we don't like. It's nothing new, but we all seem to waste time looking or hoping for a fourth or fifth option as if one will miraculously appear... it won't! You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3e7VU6p If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I consider an alternate definition to the word 'Sin' and learn how it applies to the process by which we work towards our goals and targets in life. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3eGq27X If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I consider the three components of meaningful work as identified by Malcolm Gladwell in his book 'Outliers'. The same three principles seem to apply equally to creating meaning in our lives too. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2QILmBI If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I consider how the same statistical odds apply to each and every one of us in life - these explain why some of the good things happen to us but also the bad things too. When we accept this, it helps life to seem more predictable. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3sCaA2j If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I consider the expression 'Don't hate the player, hate the game and reflect how it helps to explain how sometimes we direct our anger towards the wrong people or things when facing a struggle. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2PgUqgn If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I consider eight prompts to help us think differently about forgiveness and what it means to forgive. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3dvW85R If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I consider the lessons I've learned about relationships that would have served me well if I'd known them at the age of 21. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/38xmt1F If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I discuss how it can sometimes be counter-productive to rush into action when it might be better to pause and consider doing nothing or holding off impulsive action. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/3rJ6zZk If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I consider the way that we often focus on the end-state and the labels that life will give us rather than on following the process and putting in the work to get there. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/3rKWgnJ If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I consider the many important aspects of empathy and the many benefits it can serve to adopt and practice empathy in our lives. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/39O3qBc If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

This episode considers the many joys and benefits of recapturing that child-like enthusiasm for learning and education. As adults, many lose it and it's a real shame as a curious mind can bring enormous benefit to our life. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/2MB1KSI If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

I've been considering the many ways in which we humans seem to demonstrate an innate impatience about anything that will take time to deliver results and in this episode I attempt to unpack why this is and why I think we can do better. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/36FAMAf If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

This episode is based around a list of 10 lessons and reflections on life, that I have been contemplating as I turn 45. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/3jlCj3F If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

This episode is all about the vital ingredients for forming and maintaining a successful relationship. It's simple, and yet not easy but the same principles matter in all scenarios, whether personal or professional. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/3bFZOme If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

At this time of year it's common to decide on new ways to change our lives. In this episode I share why I think intentions are better than resolutions in supporting us in instigating change in our lives. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at http://bit.ly/38GRikM If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this the first episode of the new year, I want to share my one big tip for getting the most out of your life - It's about getting more time in your day, not just a series of success hacks and routines. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3qlz5A8 If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

This episode revisits a short reading from the piece - Christmas Festivities by Charles Dickens. It's a favourite of mine and whether you celebrate Christmas or not, I hope you'll find the sentiments of the piece as heart warming and entertaining as I do! Happy holidays and Merry Christmas to you and yours. I hope that 2021 is a great year for us all. If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

We're conditioned to believe that grit, resilience and endless commitment are what it takes to succeed. But there's also a time for giving in gracefully. This short episode considers why that is. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/33AeFtx If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

An examination of the tendency for life to become more complex the older we get, rather than becoming easier. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3lEZCVH If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

As a parent I'm always struggling to adapt to the latest challenges presented by my kids - of late it's the surly and indifferent attitude of my teenage daughters. In this episode I share my thoughts on how to deal with such tests from teenagers and others who react in such a way. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3ltHf5L If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

Taking the lessons from breaking in a new pair of hiking boots, I share my thoughts on how we often go into new projects and ventures in life, expecting that everything will feel easy and comfortable to begin with. This is seldom the case, nor should it be a surprise. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3l4DUuE If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

Some things happen in life that seem devoid of meaning and purpose - like they're merely a cause for pain and hurt. In this episode I discuss how I've been searching for some sense of meaning and purpose behind the loss of a family member. The same principle can apply to other times of extreme hurt too. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3l62vz1 If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

When we're trying to focus on how to improve our lives or achieve a goal it is common to focus on what we have to do or achieve. This episode discusses the idea of inverting our thinking to focus instead on what we can remove from or avoid in life to improve our overall situation. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2JGqTtq If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

Accepted tactics for overcoming trauma and hardship often focus on grit and resilience to overcome the issue. This episode discusses the idea of accepting that through trauma the most appropriate response may be to let ourselves be changed by it. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/32j43P3 If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

When we're trying to focus on how to improve our lives or achieve a goal it is common to focus on what we have to do or achieve. This episode discusses the idea of inverting our thinking to focus instead on what we can remove from or avoid in life to improve our overall situation. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3lbci6K If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I try and unpack why it is that I occasionally buy a lottery ticket - something that has a very low statistical chance of paying off. I discuss how we can see much of what we do in life as ways of building in hope for the future. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/34vy0vj If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

This episode is my take on the role of silence and the power of a quiet life in helping us live calmly, peacefully and productively. Lockdown has been a useful reminder of how much I value silence in my life and I discuss in this episode how silence (and noise) plays a role in my life. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2GlsKCM If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

This episode considers the idea of happiness and whether we're right to hope for (or even expect) perpetual happiness. Happy ever after is a myth. We need happiness but we also need sadness and disappointment in order to appreciate the good times. This will hopefully help explain why. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2SC7yup If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

I have a mental block about Mondays and often overlook that Monday is the same as any other day of the week with as much promise and opportunity as any other. I often seem to single out other points in time for arbitrary reasons while overlooking the fact that dates in the future are often meaningless and paradoxically as precious as any other. In this episode, I discuss my thinking on the subject. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3haSONe If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

When you're feeling like others simply don't get where you're coming from, consider that perhaps the misunderstanding stems from you putting yourself in the middle of all things which may be what is preventing you from being truly understood and appreciated by others. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/35l6fba If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

I've demonstrated a history in my life of being poor at asking for and receiving help from others. There can be a misconception about those who ask for help being weak or needy - the opposite is often true. To understand where you have a weakness or need for assistance and to then seek it out is actually a superpower of sorts. In this episode I talk about why that is. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/336Kx7U If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

I took most of the month of August to go off the grid, using my smartphone minimally and accessing email, social media and news in general far less frequently than normal. This episode discusses my experiences and shares the lessons learned. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/33cs0a9 If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

When procrastinating over whether (or whether not) to start something, more often than not we're held back by fear. It's either fear of failure, or fear of success (that the outcome may not be as good as we hoped). In this episode I dissect why the only choice open to us in times of procrastination is to take the plunge and do what we're putting off. It's the only way we will find out what happens next. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2X5vRnl If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

When my daughter went off to university I tried to ensure she was prepared for the world as all parents do. One thing I was really concerned she should understand was the rules of time, and how we are custodians of how we use our time and of what we get done in life. This episode describes these rules as they apply in our lives. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2DdK1M2 If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

It can be challenging in daily life to understand whether our efforts are paying off or supporting us in our goals. In this episode I discuss how many of the things we devote our energies towards only come about with the passing of time and as a culmination of our efforts. It can be useful to be reminded of this from time to time as we strive to overcome difficulty or to achieve challenging things. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2CVGnqn If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

As I reflect on the 'rules of thumb' surrounding finance and investing, it strikes me that there are equivalent rules for life more generally. In this episode I explore some of these rules and describe the parallels between the world of finance and daily life. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3jMqxio If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I share how the quote that is the title of the episode came to my notice, and how it seems to signpost a way of living life positively. The conscience can be a good guide to the actions we should take and how we should act and treat others. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3jzqdU5 If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

We often cause our own problems and feelings of dissatisfaction through wrestling for control over things that are outside of our control. Letting go of these is not the same as giving up hope of influencing our life though, and in this episode I discuss how we can take control of things within our influence and be more stoic about what is outside our control. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3fYbCzr If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I discuss my thoughts on how our natural tendency as humans to take as much as we can, as quickly as possible when given the opportunity, doesn't bode well for the measured adoption of freedoms as lockdown measures start to be lifted. In life we seem to have a tendency to go too far at times - I know I do. With freedoms being granted to us once again, will we react in a careful and considered fashion or go wild? Either could happen. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/38orOH0 If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I explore the ways in which we kid ourselves that we have a good reason to do or not to do something when we know deep down that it's not the right thing. In a time when there is so much that we need to be doing as a society to prevent the spread of Covid-19 (such as wearing masks for example) it seems necessary to remember that sometimes we should do what's right, simply because it IS RIGHT! You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3gmotLp If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I explore how having my diary cleared of commitments and plans by Coronavirus has been refreshing in prompting me to reflect on how I'll approach commitments and opportunities in future. I'd become used to rushing from one thing to the next, not always savouring or valuing what I was in the midst of. No longer will that be my approach! This episode describes why. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/2zPLsyy If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I explore the idea that our definition of Success can be constraining when it merely means more than we have already. Perhaps we need instead to consider it is successful when we have all that we need? With Covid-19 stripping people of their income and health it focuses the mind on being able to be grateful and satisfied with what we have. In the episode I refer to the book 'Stillness is the Key' by Ryan Holiday. I'd highly recommend you reading it if you are interested in the ideas in this podcast. You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3dWNbkr If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I discuss my thoughts on the concept of the Truth. We are all searching for the truth, we'd like to believe we know the truth and we seek the truth constantly. But, do we really believe it when it doesn't suit us to? Why do we concoct truths that suit us and selectively believe other things even if they're irrefutable? You can also read an article I wrote on this subject at https://bit.ly/3dnINuj If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

What are you waiting for? When we hang on for something in life to change, or for life itself to fundamentally improve, we are in fact overlooking that what we have right now is what is normal. It may not be what we used to have and had grown accustomed to. It may not be what we'd like it to be. It is what it is though. As we go through the Covid-19 Pandemic, there's a lot to be said for accepting that maybe things aren't likely to return to being as they used to be. At the very least, we shouldn't' spend our lives waiting for it to go back to how it was. You can also read an article in the same topic at https://bit.ly/2Wu50Af If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

It seems right now that many are fixated on who to blame for the Coronavirus crisis. Whether seeking to blame individuals, governments or nations, it seems obvious that there's a time when it's appropriate to look for root cause, to establish what went wrong and a time for focusing instead on solving the problem at hand. In this episode I explore the idea of when it's the right time to look for fault and cause, and when we'd be better off getting on and trying to solve the problem at hand. You can also read an article in the same topic at https://bit.ly/356rr2q If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I explore how the lessons learned from living through the Covid-19 lockdown have made me think about what I can do to prepare better for the future, financially, materially, spiritually and emotionally. All of life's experiences bring forth lessons and it's important to take these onboard to live better in future. You can also read an article in the same topic at https://bit.ly/2RWEvBW If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I want to share how I approach times of adversity such as the one we find ourselves in the midst of, right now. It's a means of reducing overwhelm and allowing ourselves to focus on what's right in front of us. You can also read an article in the same topic at https://bit.ly/39OpyYG If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I explore some of the positive effects that I've already observed as the current Coronavirus pandemic unfolds and which I've experienced in my own life. You can also read the article at https://bit.ly/2RiP9CW I hope that you and your loved ones are keeping well and that you remain safe and healthy. If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

In this episode I examine the difficulties I sometimes experience as I deal with feelings of enthusiasm, quickly followed by despondency and a loss of motivation. I share how re-reading the book 'The Obstacle Is The Way' by Ryan Holiday helped me understand how Stoic philosophy encourages us to respond to obstacles that we encounter in life. You can also read the article at https://bit.ly/2QX355b If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

This episode is based on an article I wrote to share the importance of doing the small stuff in life well, and without question. Often we convince ourselves that the small actions don't make a difference, and we obsess over how to make the big things happen in life: love, happiness and fulfilment. Instead, we need to give the small things equal attention and focus. You can also read the article at http://bit.ly/3cY8mTF If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com

This episode is based on an article I wrote to examine why I feel so much guilt as a parent on a near daily basis. Guilt comes from multiple sources and lots of different places in life and it's really not a helpful feeling. In this episode I've tried to examine where my guilt comes from as a parent, and the things that prompt it in my life as a parent and in life more generally. You can also read the article at http://bit.ly/2VNIF1J If you have any comments or feedback on this episode you can reach out by email on toby@tobyhazlewood.com