Podcasts about Guilt

What if the things you feel most ashamed of at work are actually your superpowers? In this conversation, I sit down with bestselling author and Founder & CEO of Working Genius, Patrick Lencioni. We dive into his Working Genius framework to discover why certain kinds of work light you up while others reliably drain you. Using his six types of “genius” we explore why differently wired (aka “spiky”) brains can be massive assets in leadership when we stop trying to do everything. You'll also hear Pat share candidly about his own anxious achieving, how working outside his genius led to grumpiness and burnout, and what changed when he finally designed his role (and team) around his true strengths. It's time to reframe guilt and shame around your “weaknesses,” so you can lead from your zone of genius with more effectiveness, sustainability, and joy. This episode is brought to you in partnership with Working Genius. Check out our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent - Protect your privacy, build your brand and get your complete business identity in just 10 clicks and 10 minutes! Visit https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/achieverfree In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 How to stop feeling ashamed of what you're not good at. 04:00 How to become boldly bad at things as a neurodistinct leader. 10:45 The six types of Working Genius and how to discover yours. 16:00 How wounds and fear can push you to overachieve at work you dislike. 18:00 What is the difference between fear-based vs. joy-based achievement? 24:00 Why burnout is more about misalignment than workload. 31:00 How knowing your team's geniuses transform trust and accountability. 33:30 Why your team will perform better when everyone admits what they are bad at. 40:30 What should I do if my job doesn't fit my working genius? Resources + Links Take the Working Genius Assessment HERE Use promo code ACHIEVER for 20% off Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube  Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Patrick Lencioni: on LinkedIn @patricklencioniorghealth + Instagram @patricklencioniofficial

FREE Master Class: The Farm Marketing Fix Sign Up HERE What if the real reason you're exhausted isn't the workload—it's a single emotion you don't even realize is running the show? Guilt is silently hijacking your decisions, pushing you toward $20/hour tasks while $5,000/hour opportunities slip away. It's why you say yes when you should say no, why rest never actually restores you, and why "being responsible" might be the most reckless choice you're making. In this episode, you'll discover: The 5-step guilt cycle controlling your farm decisions without your permission How to catch guilt in the act before it costs you thousands The single question that created a 60-second breakthrough for one farmer Why one farmer was up until 2 AM making mistakes and resenting her neighbor—all traced back to this invisible force This isn't about hustling harder. It's about finally seeing what's been invisible—and breaking free from the pattern that's keeping you stuck. If you've ever thought "I should just be able to handle all this," this one's for you. Click HERE and Let's Meet! Chat with us to see if Farm Marketing Mastery can break you out of marketing misery.

There's a quiet kind of courage in letting yourself enjoy something simple, without guilt, without earning it first. In this episode, I share how one small daily ritual is helping me soften my nervous system, shift out of restriction, and invite more ease, pleasure, and presence into my mornings. We explore how tiny, intentional practices can become powerful tools for anxiety, burnout, and self-judgment—without needing hours of self-care or a big life overhaul. If you've been delaying joy until you “deserve it,” this conversation will feel like a gentle permission slip back to yourself.Reflection for you: What is one tiny daily pleasure you could allow yourself—fully, and without explanation—starting today?Related episodes to explore:•⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ 156: The Healing Power of Nature for Your Mind & Soul - https://youtu.be/O6ATd2dPHyE• 152: What If You Didn't Have to Push Anymore? - https://youtu.be/i9FKwBd-gmc

Have you ever welcomed something new into your life, something you thought would fill you with joy, only to feel guilt instead?In this episode of Sarah's Thoughts, Sarah Grynberg reflects on the unexpected emotions that surfaced when she brought home her new puppy, Maggie. What she believed would be a moment of pure happiness was instead met with guilt, as though she was replacing her beloved Lola, along with a wave of grief and confusion. Through this tender experience, Sarah explores a universal truth: we don't just grieve the ones we've lost, we grieve the seasons of life they held. A past job, a past relationship, even a past version of ourselves can bring the same quiet ache when a new chapter begins.You'll learn:Why new beginnings can stir old grief, and why that's completely normal.How to make space for new love without feeling like you're abandoning the past.Simple reminders to help you move forward gently, without forcing joy before it's ready.This is an episode about understanding that love isn't replaced, it expands. Moving forward doesn't erase what was meaningful. It simply shows that your heart is still open, still capable, and still growing.Purchase Sarah's book: Living A Life Of Greatness here.To purchase Living A Life of Greatness outside Australia here or here.Watch A Life of Greatness Episodes On Youtube here.Sign up for Sarah's newsletter (Greatness Guide) here.Purchase Sarah's Meditations here.Instagram: @sarahgrynberg Website: https://sarahgrynberg.com/Facebook: facebook.com/sarahgrynbergTwitter: twitter.com/sarahgrynberg Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Send us a textThere are the things people can see on the surface, and then there are the things that live underneath, the stuff that feels too heavy or too messy to name out loud. This episode digs into the quiet weight of shame and guilt, the parts of ourselves we think disqualify us from being powerful.Join Anna and Tim as they unpack what it means to look at your life without fear of the dark corners. They talk about the difference between a rap sheet and a resume, how past mistakes can become strength, and why the things a person has survived are often the real markers of capability. This conversation moves through discomfort, honesty, and the unexpected liberation that comes from telling the truth about your own history.This Episode Covers:The tension between who people see and who someone feels they really are.How guilt and shame shape identity and influence behavior.Looking at your past through the lens of resilience instead of failure.The power of owning your story without apology.How lived experience becomes credibility and clarity.Why vulnerability can feel risky but creates deeper connection.The difference between being defined by your past and being informed by it.What it means to rewrite the meaning of your own experiences.Ready to get out of your own way and finally feel grounded in who you are?Join the Emotional Mastery Group Coaching Cohort this January and learn how to regulate your nervous system, stop second-guessing yourself, and move through life with more clarity and power. www.annamarcolin.com/coaching-packages/p/emotional-mastery-group-coaching-january-2026-cohortUntil next time, here's to deeper connections and personal growth.Mad love!The podcast is now on YouTube! If you prefer to watch, head over to https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLw3CabcJueib20U_L3WeaR-lNG_B3zYquDon't forget to subscribe to the Badass Confidence Coach podcast on your favorite podcast platform!CONNECT WITH ANNA:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/askannamarcolin/TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/tag/askannamarcolinEmail hello@annamarcolin.comWebsite https://www.annamarcolin.com

In this week's solo episode, I'm diving into something many of us feel, but don't always say out loud holiday money anxiety. This season can be full of joy, nostalgia, and family connection, but it can also bring up guilt, pressure, overspending, and emotional triggers that hit our wallets hard. So today, I'm sharing honest reflections on the expectations we carry, the emotional weight of holiday giving, and how I personally navigate the overwhelm of gifting, family obligations, and wanting to "do enough" without draining my finances or my energy. I walk you through practical strategies for shifting your mindset, breaking old patterns, and giving yourself permission to rethink how you show up this season.  In this episode, I discuss: Guilt-free gifting: How to focus on intention instead of price tags, and ways to simplify gifts especially for kids who may value the moment more than the item itself. Setting family & personal boundaries: What to say when you want to keep things simple, stick to a budget, or opt out without shame. Overspending triggers: Why boredom, stress, nostalgia, and scarcity mindset push us to buy more and how to create friction to avoid impulse purchases. Reframing the season: How to shift from "stuff" to connection, small rituals, meaning, and presence. Planning ahead for next year: Using what you spent this season to set realistic expectations and savings goals for the future. Other related blog posts/links mentioned in this episode: Get your copy of Your Journey To Financial Freedom if you haven't already. Apply to Share Your Journeyer Story, here. Join the Journey to Launch Book Club to dive deeper into financial freedom with guided discussions and resources here! Join The Weekly Newsletter List to get updates, deals & more! Leave Your Journey To Financial Freedom a review! Get The Budget Bootcamp Check out my personal website here. Leave me a voicemail– Leave me a question on the Journey To Launch voicemail and have it answered on the podcast! YNAB –  Start managing your money and budgeting so that you can reach your financial dreams. Sign up for a free 34 days trial of YNAB, my go-to budgeting app by using my referral link. What stage of the financial journey are you on? Are you working on financial stability or work flexibility? Find out with this free assessment and get a curated list of the 10 next best episodes for you to listen to depending on your stage. Check it out here! Connect with me: Instagram: @Journeytolaunch Twitter: @JourneyToLaunch Facebook: @Journey To Launch Join the Private Facebook Group Join the Waitlist for My FI Course Get The Free Jumpstart Guide

Rebecca Herbst reached financial independence at age 32 during the tenuous early days of the pandemic, and volunteered shortly thereafter to be furloughed from her job in commercial real estate—and so began her (extremely) early retirement.  But spending her days exactly as she wanted featured an unexpected side effect: guilt. What do you owe to others when you've gotten everything you wanted? Rebecca alchemized her sense of duty and founded Yield & Spread. In detail, we cover: What the “FI-lanthropy” pledge entails How she squares the desire to retire early with the idea of “hoarding money” Where Rebecca gives for the highest impact Who donor-advised funds might make sense for, and how they work How to donate appreciated stock, and why it might be  preferable to giving cash Subscribe to my weekly newsletter: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://moneywithkatie.com/newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Get your copy of Rich Girl Nation, one of Barnes & Noble's Best Business Books of 2025:⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.moneywithkatie.com/rich-girl-nation⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Transcripts, show notes, resources, and credits at: https://moneywithkatie.com/the_mwk_show/the-filanthropy-pledge/ — Money with Katie's mission is to be the intersection where the economic, cultural, and political meet the tactical, practical, personal finance education everyone needs. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This podcast shows you how to fully recover from OCD.Each episode breaks down the exact techniques and nuances that stop rumination, reduce compulsions, and help you retrain your brain out of the OCD cycle. We cover every major OCD theme, including:Pure-O OCDRelationship OCDHarm OCDReal Event OCDSO-OCD / Sexuality OCDReligious / Scrupulosity OCDCleaning & Contamination OCDPhysical CompulsionsAll other OCD subtypesMy goal is simple: clear guidance that actually works, explained in a way that is calm, direct, and easy to apply immediately.You can fully recover from OCD. Don't give up — you're not stuck, and your brain can change.

In this episode, we're talking about one of the hardest realities daughters face when their mothers age. Your mom may be getting older, more fragile, or more dependent, but the patterns you grew up with haven't changed. So how are you supposed to make decisions about caregiving, contact, or end of life when the relationship has always been complicated and often painful?Today I'm answering the questions daughters ask the most in this season. Questions about guilt, boundaries, responsibility, and what “enough” looks like when you're caring for someone who never truly cared for you.We explore how to make decisions with clarity instead of fear, how to set limits that protect your well being, and how to support without losing yourself. We also talk about the emotional whiplash that comes with this role. Grief, anger, obligation, exhaustion, and tenderness can all show up at the same time.If your mother is aging and you are the one being asked to manage, respond, coordinate, or carry the emotional weight, this episode is meant to steady you. You are allowed to make decisions based on your capacity, not your conditioning. You are allowed to protect your peace. And you are allowed to define enough in a way that keeps you whole.If you're a daughter navigating this, you don't have to do it alone. Join us inside the Mayhem Daughters community, where we talk openly about trauma brain, boundaries, nervous system healing, and how to rebuild a life that actually feels like yours. Members who join now keep their rate when prices go up in 2026.

In the medical world miscarriages are called spontaneous abortions, and in this community we have to learn how to extend grace to individuals who electively terminate their pregnancies no matter their choice. Join us this month as we explore abortion stories and how healing, grief, and shame can keep all of us bound. When today's guest became pregnant with her daughter she sobbed to a friend "how was she going to take care of one when she had given up another" Latoya Mathews shares her abortion story, how post-partum depression along with guilt and shame of her abortion came alive after having her daughter, and how she has turned her pain into power by helping other post-abortive women eliminate shame, guilt, and regret of their abortions. This episode is for you to listen to if you are ready to release the shame and stigma of having an abortion and want a community to help you. Become a Sisters in Loss Birth Bereavement, and Postpartum Doula Here Living Water Doula Services Book Recommendations and Links Below You can shop my Amazon Store for the Book Recommendations You can follow Sisters in Loss on Social Join our Black Moms in Loss Online Weekly Grief Support Group Join the Sisters in Loss Online Community Sisters in Loss TV Youtube Channel Sisters in Loss Instagram Sisters in Loss Facebook Sisters in Loss Twitter You can follow Erica on Social Erica's Website Erica's Instagram Erica's Facebook Erica's Twitter  

1 - How was Trump yesterday in The Poconos? Will there be taxing on gambling winnings? Why can't Democrats hide behind blindly attacking big corporations? 105 - Your calls. 110 - Is Trump's message on affordability hitting? Will a message about voting from Trump carry weight? Is Andy Beshear living in fantasyland? 120 - Why does Josh Shapiro run from the issues, like why somebody set his house ablaze? 135 - Why is guilt the ultimate tool in Minnesota? 140 - Your calls. 155 - Teasing the final hour.

I know you've felt like, in the past, you've been hesitant to share your true feelings and beliefs. Maybe you didn't want to offend that woman you were pursuing. Or, maybe you didn't want to upset your boss and run the risk of losing your job. Or, maybe you were afraid of what society or social media would say if you shared your true thoughts. My guest today, Father Stephen Gadberry, is familiar with all of that in a way that many of us relate with. As a Catholic priest, US Air Force Veteran, and American Ninja Warrior competitor, he knows how compelling public criticism can become. Today, Father Gadberry and I talk about discipline, what "turning the other cheek," really means, how to handle false accusations, what true accountability actually means, the difference between your "vocation," and "occupation," and how God will speak to all of us. SHOW HIGHLIGHTS 00:00 Introduction 00:22 Masculinity and the Church 01:20 Growing Up Rural and Military 02:20 Has the Church Become Soft? 04:00 Culture, Covid and Truth 05:40 Truth vs Feeling Good 06:50 What Does "Love at All Costs" Mean? 08:20 Learning to Speak Truth Boldly 10:30 Men and Zero-F Attitudes 11:30 Tempering Instincts and Temptations 13:40 Crash and Burn Lessons 15:40 Discipline and "Doing Hard Things" 17:15 Small Things Shape Big Character 18:45 Christian Persecution Today 21:20 Should Christians Fight Back? 23:40 Violence, Duty, and Discernment 25:20 Bold, Relatable Preaching 27:20 Conviction vs Condemnation 30:00 Accountability Done Right 31:40 Guiding Boys and Raising Men 34:10 Real Discipline and Real Consequences 38:50 Guilt, Shame, and Responsibility 41:15 Preaching While Imperfect 45:10 His Calling and Vocation 53:15 Hearing God's Voice 56:30 Silence and Spiritual Clarity 57:50 Real Masculinity and Faith 59:00 Where to Follow Father Stephen  

Still stuck in the guilt spiral after indulging in your favorite holiday treats? What if enjoying dessert didn't mean starting over on Monday, or vowing to “be good” in January?In episode 3 of our Holiday Eating Series, I'm sharing the real psychology behind holiday food guilt, “off-limits” indulgences, and those all-or-nothing spirals that can leave you feeling frustrated and defeated by January 1st. You'll hear my go-to mindset shifts to stop guilt in its tracks, why giving yourself permission around holiday foods is the most freeing thing you can do, and the secret to truly enjoying your favorite treats without the inevitable shame spiral. Plus, I'll share one simple action you can try this week to make mindful eating feel effortless.And, if this resonated and you're ready to enjoy the holidays without sacrificing your body goals, download your FREE Holiday Eating Roadmap here: https://mindin-my-wellness.captivate.fm/roadmapReady to stop dieting through December and step into the holidays with confidence, clarity, and zero regret? Hit play and let's dive in.3:10 – Why Food Guilt Is Learned (And How to Unlearn It for Good) 4:25 – The Dangerous Cycle of Restriction, Craving, and Guilt (and How to Break It)5:16 – How Granting Yourself Permission Around Food Reduces Chaos5:51 – What True Balance Looks Like During the Holidays (No Perfection Required)7:11 – Three Mindset Shifts to Stop the “Start Over Monday” Mentality9:52 – Your One-Item Action Step to Practice Mindful Eating in Real Life Other Episodes You'll Love:Episode 139: Why Starting Over in January Keeps You Stuck (Do THIS simple reset to stay consistent all season!) | HOLIDAY EATING SERIESEpisode 140: How to Create a Flexible Holiday Eating Routine So You Can Enjoy the Season Without Stressing About Weight Gain | HOLIDAY EATING SERIES

People-pleasing is an indication of anxiety and nervous system dysregulation. So why are you people-pleasing? People pleasers frequently have experienced emotional chaos, abuse, emotional neglect, anxiety, or trauma that has left them feeling unsafe. The need to feel safe and to keep the peace drives people-pleasing. What is people pleasing? According to Psychology Today, people-pleasing is a need for approval and validation from others. People pleasers habitually focus more on helping others than caring for their own needs. In addition, people pleasers fear rejection and prioritize others' happiness over their own. Why are you people-pleasing? The need to people-please is multifaceted but includes the following: Avoid conflict We often see people-pleasing in those who have experienced trauma, anxiety, and emotional dysfunction in the family unit. If parents have used physical punishment, yelled and screamed, and the child has felt unsafe, they will strive to please others to keep peace in their environment. People-pleasing then becomes a pattern in other areas as well and carries forward into adulthood, relationships, and career. Emotional neglect When a child experiences emotional neglect, intentional or unintentional, they may strive to gain approval as a means of emotional connection. Again, these people-pleasing tendencies will carry over into adulthood in most, if not all, aspects of their lives. Anxiety If a person has anxiety, they are living in an abnormal state of fear. They may feel they are unable to cope, so they please others to avoid disrupting their ecosystem. Meaning, if they please others, they won't have to face challenges they fear they cannot handle. In addition, when someone is anxious and their nervous system is not regulated, they may experience a fawning response. Fawning is people-pleasing. Therefore, we can associate a dysregulated nervous system with the need to please others. Guilt and shame If a child grows up in a dysfunctional home or has anxiety, they may develop a sense of guilt and shame that their life has not been similar to or as good as that of others around them. In addition, they may feel that the dysfunction, yelling, screaming, fighting, abuse, or trauma may have been their fault. So many things can lead to someone feeling guilt and shame, but a sense of abnormalcy can exacerbate this. People-pleasing becomes a coping mechanism for emotional instability. What does it look like to be a people-pleaser? Consequences of pleasing others and sacrificing your own happiness. How to overcome being a people-pleaser. Things you can focus on to change from a people-pleasing mindset. It's not easy, but it's doable. Read the full show notes and access all links. https://therobyngraham.com/why-are-you-people-pleasing/

Mastering The Art of Saying No Without Guilt Sometimes saying "no" feels anything but peaceful. Even when we know it's the right decision, the guilt creeps in. We worry about letting people down, missing out, or not being seen as a "good mom." And before we know it, we've said yes to too many things that pull us away from what actually matters. In this episode, I'm talking about how to master the art of saying no with peace, purpose, and love. You'll hear: Why it's so hard to say no (even when we want to) How guilt disguises itself as responsibility What happens when we override our peace to please others A few mindset shifts that can help you say no with clarity and confidence Phrases to use when you need to set a boundary Why every "no" creates room for a better "yes" You're not selfish for needing space. You're not unkind for honoring your limits. But if that still feels hard, this episode will help. If you liked this episode, here are some others you might enjoy: 37. Letting Go of Guilt 228.How to Let Go of What Other People Think 247. The Hidden Cost of People Pleasing: A Catholic Mom's Guide to Authentic Living For more help from Danielle Thienel Coaching:

SEND US A TEXT MESSAGE!!! Let Drs. Nii & Renee know what you think about the show!We tackle a raw listener question about carrying $520k in med school debt, feeling guilty about pursuing Public Service Loan Forgiveness, and navigating first‑gen family expectations. We break down what PSLF really is, why it exists, and how to compare it against traditional and accelerated payoff paths.FREE DOWNLOAD -  7 Considerations Before Starting Locum Tenens - https://darkos.lpages.co/7-considerations-before-locumsLINKS MENTIONED SIGN UP FOR OUR NEWSLETTER! WATCH THIS EPISODE ON YOUTUBE!Send us a Voice Message - https://www.speakpipe.com/docsoutsidetheboxHave a question for the podcast?Text us at 833-230-2860 Wanna listen instead? Apple podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast... Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/7lPD2QG...Instagram: @docsoutsidetheboxEmail: team@drniidarko.comTwitter: @drniidarkoMerch: https://docs-outside-the-box.creator-spring.comThis episode is sponsored by Locumstory. Learn how locum tenens helps doctors make more and have the lifestyle they deserve!. Check them out HERE!

In this episode Ryan shares his scariest/hairiest moments while out in the field making Guilt.Guilt is a 100% Independent Podcast. Support the Podcast by becoming a Brevity+ subscriber. For a small monthly or annual fee you can both support the show and get a ton of amazing features, including Early Episode Release, Bonus Episodes, Ad Free Listening and exclusive access to the Guilt Podcast 'War Room' on www.theguiltpodcast.com where you'll find timelines, maps, case files, exclusive episode video content and more!Subscribe today on Apple or Spotify (Supporting Cast). For details on how to subscribe please visit our website www.theguiltpodcast.com/how-to-subscribeIf you have information about any of our cases or you would like to suggest a case or a story, please visit our website www.theguiltpodcast.com and use our contact form to contact us.Support this show http://supporter.acast.com/guilt. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your narcissistic wife refuses to work or leave the house. After you sought divorce, she attempted suicide and called 53 times. It's Feedback Friday!And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com. Now let's dive in!Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1252On This Week's Feedback Friday:Banter alert! If you don't want to stick around for Jordan and Gabe's stories about hangry Japanese 7-Eleven faux pas, take the bullet train to about 16 minutes and 20 seconds into the episode for preferential dooze cruise boarding!Your wife has become increasingly narcissistic, manipulative, and homebound over the past five years, refusing to work or care for herself while treating you with passive-aggression and toxicity. After you filed for divorce, she attempted suicide and called you 53 times in 24 hours. How do you protect yourself now? [Thanks once again to attorney Corbin Payne for helping us answer this!]You've worked for the same company three different times and were fired once due to a background issue tied to a youthful mistake with an ex. Now they want you back with better pay, but you just accepted a six-month contract elsewhere. Do you bail on integrity or pass on long-term opportunity? [Thanks to HR professional Joanna Tate for helping us with this one!]You're a leftist structural engineer who believes we're facing a fascist takeover and wants to flee the country, but your wife thinks you're overreacting to podcasts and social media. Who should you trust — your fear or her skepticism — and where do you even find reliable guidance in these polarized times?Recommendation of the Week: Setting up an eSIM straight from your phone before you travel. Saily and Airalo are good options.You're an introverted loner starting a new job and want to network better with colleagues without becoming best friends. You're awkward in conversations, your mind goes blank, and someone once called you boring. How do you build professional relationships when socializing drains you and you struggle to connect?Have any questions, comments, or stories you'd like to share with us? Drop us a line at friday@jordanharbinger.com!Connect with Jordan on Twitter at @JordanHarbinger and Instagram at @jordanharbinger.Connect with Gabriel on Twitter at @GabeMizrahi and Instagram @gabrielmizrahi.And if you're still game to support us, please leave a review here — even one sentence helps! Sign up for Six-Minute Networking — our free networking and relationship development mini course — at jordanharbinger.com/course!Subscribe to our once-a-week Wee Bit Wiser newsletter today and start filling your Wednesdays with wisdom!Do you even Reddit, bro? Join us at r/JordanHarbinger!This Episode Is Brought To You By Our Fine Sponsors:Aura Frames: $35 off: auraframes.com, code JORDANBetterHelp: 10% off first month: betterhelp.com/jordanNutrafol: $10 off 1st month: nutrafol.com, code JORDANSimpliSafe: 50% off + 1st month free: simplisafe.com/jordanQuiltmind: Email jordanaudience@quiltmind.com to get started or visit quiltmind.com for more infoSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The holidays are the time of year we're most likely to spend time with our extended families— visits which can also bring guilt, frustration, and overwhelming expectations. In this episode, Amy and family counselor Erin Cox dive into the challenges of holiday family dynamics: setting boundaries, splitting time between multiple households, managing difficult relatives, and trying to create a joyful season for our own kids without losing ourselves in the process. We explore why returning home makes boundaries harder to keep, why the pressure ramps up this time of year, and how to stay grounded when everyone wants something from you. From travel burnout to critical parents, hosting fatigue, mismatched traditions, and even holiday pet drama, we're talking through the real stories listeners shared — and how to protect your peace while still showing up with love. What You'll Hear in This Episode Why boundaries feel harder to hold around the holidays The stress of splitting time between multiple sets of grandparents Handling critical or overbearing parents with grace (and limits) What to do when the most difficult family member controls the vibe How to pass holiday hosting to the next generation without hurting anyone's feelings We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: ⁠https://www.whatfreshhellpodcast.com/p/promo-codes/⁠ Get 50% Off Monarch Money, the all-in-one financial tool at ⁠www.monarchmoney.com/FRESH Ready to raise money-smart kids? Start now with your first month FREE at acornsearly.com/FRESH! Head to GigSalad.com and book some awesome talent for your next party, and let them know that What Fresh Hell sent you.    holiday family dynamics, holiday boundaries, setting boundaries with family, navigating family during holidays, splitting time between families, managing difficult relatives, overbearing parents holidays, holiday guilt and expectations, balancing multiple households holidays, protecting your peace holidays, holiday burnout tips, holiday travel stress, passing holiday hosting duties, parenting during the holidays, holiday stress management, adult children family expectations, family counselor holiday advice, creating your own holiday traditions, peaceful holiday season tips, coping with holiday overwhelm, managing family drama holidays Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

In this episode of The Neurodivergent Creative, Caitlin starts with a headline about “quiet hoarding” (aka: keeping your phone longer than capitalism wants you to) and spirals deliciously into a full-bodied rant about holiday consumerism, tech entitlement, ADHD time distortion, gift guilt, and the simple, radical act of wanting things without shame.

The holidays are not a test of discipline. In this episode, we talk about what realistic habits look like during a busy and food-centered season. This is about balance and permission to be human, not guilt, restriction, or trying to control every bite. Learn simple ways to support your health without falling into the trap of self-blame. This episode pairs well with the recent blog post on Holiday Eating Without the Guilt.

**Shame doesn't just make you feel bad, it fundamentally shapes how you experience your own body and desires.** Returning guest Dr. Alison Ash breaks down exactly why shame is so destructive to sexual wellness. Unlike guilt (which says you did something wrong), shame tells you that *you yourself* are wrong, creating a deep fear of rejection that literally dysregulates your nervous system. This isn't something we're born with. It develops through early experiences where we internalize negative reactions, eventually becoming that harsh inner critic voice. The contradictory messages are especially confusing: women should look desirable but not actually desire, while men should always be sexually available yet their desire is somehow dangerous. These cultural and religious influences create confusion that conscious rejection alone can't fix. Here's where it gets interesting: empathy is shame's antidote. When someone truly accepts you without judgment, healing becomes possible. (This is why finding sex-positive communities matters so much.) Dr. Aly explains how even BDSM can be healing for trauma survivors through consensual power exchange—reclaiming control over experiences where they previously had none. What if the fantasies or interests that make you feel broken are actually completely normal? Ready to understand the difference between your own feelings and society's expectations? This conversation offers practical strategies for recognizing shame's sources and reclaiming your agency. Estimated Timeline: 00:00:00 - Moving Through Shame and Sexual Wellness 00:02:09 - Guilt vs Shame: Understanding the Inner Critic 00:04:47 - Inner Shame and Sexuality's Cultural Conditioning 00:08:56 - Shame's Impact on Sexual Pleasure and Embodiment 00:10:48 - Shame, Empathy, and Healing Through Connection 00:14:33 - Power Exchange as Healing and Shame Reframing 00:17:43 - Reading Fiction as Healing and Normalization 00:19:14 - Shame Prevents Us From Enjoying Pleasure 00:21:33 - Building Trust Through Gradual Vulnerability 00:26:02 - Understanding Sexual Non-Concordance and Shame 00:28:45 - Unpacking Body Shame Through Conversation 00:32:56 - Lubrication Myths and Sexual Shame 00:35:17 - Being Selective About Who You Share With 00:37:09 - Sex Toys as Tools, Not Shame 00:41:12 - Internet's Role in Community and Identity 00:44:00 - Building Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills Dr. Alison Ash, aka Dr. Aly, is a trauma-informed intimacy coach and educator, Stanford University Lecturer, author, and founder of TurnON.love. As a sociologist with a PhD from Stanford, she has a comprehensive understanding of the complex societal challenges that often lead to unsatisfying and disempowering intimate experiences. She designs workshops, courses, and retreats and offers individuals and couples coaching to give others the tools to be able to cultivate and sustain nourishing emotional and sexual intimacy. Dr. Aly invites you to TurnON pleasure, intimacy and love at www.TurnON.love  Sexual and Emotional Intimacy Skills online course on Tues, Jan 27th-Mar 17th We all receive messages about who we are supposed to be, how we ought to feel, and how we should express ourselves, often enforced through shame and disconnection. Featuring 8 classes with a woven balance of science-based data, embodied exploration, and skills development designed to support you in creating, deepening, and sustaining sexual and emotional intimacy in your relationship(s). Recordings available for those who can't attend live or want extra review. Super early bird tickets available now for $200-$400 off! Coaching:   Last but not least, reach out to Dr. Aly for individual, couples, and ENM coaching support!    All links: www.TurnON.love  Sustainable Intimacy Retreat: https://www.turnon.love/sustainable-intimacy-retreat Sustainable Intimacy On Demand Rental: https://www.turnon.love/sustainable-intimacy SEIS course: https://www.turnon.love/sexual-and-emotional-intimacy-skills Coaching: https://www.turnon.love/sex-and-intimacy-coaching

In this gripping second part of Episode 268 from the Mike Drop podcast, hosted by former Navy SEAL Mike Ritland, guest Chris Osman—a veteran Marine, Navy SEAL, and entrepreneur—delves deep into his extraordinary life story. Listeners will discover raw, unfiltered accounts of Osman's journey from rigorous SEAL training and high-stakes deployments in Afghanistan, including untold real-world missions and the emotional toll of survivor's guilt from helicopter crashes and lost comrades. The episode explores his transition to civilian life, building multimillion-dollar gear companies like Tactical Assault Gear (TAG), and the dark side of success: grappling with "spending dead man's money," family sacrifices, and a descent into alcohol, Adderall, Molly, and cocaine use amid a partying lifestyle. Through candid reflections on professionalism, addiction, and redemption, Osman offers profound insights into the mental battles faced by elite operators, making this a must-listen for anyone interested in military life, personal resilience, and the unvarnished truth behind the SEAL ethos. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Welcome to EVEMAS 4 — today we're talking about healing your relationship with food during the holidays.If this season leaves you feeling anxious around meals, guilty after indulging, or stuck in the all-or-nothing mindset, this episode will feel like a breath of fresh air.We'll cover:• Why holiday food triggers guilt and stress• Letting go of the “I ruined everything” mentality• How to enjoy holiday meals without spiraling• Handling diet talk from family• Post-meal anxiety and how to reset gently• How to carry food freedom into the new yearGive yourself permission to enjoy this season — your worth has nothing to do with what's on your plate.✨ LINKSInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/oliviaeveshaboTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@oliviaeveshaboYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@oliviaeveshaboPodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/foryoufromeve✨ SPONSORSRULAFind a therapist that fits your needs:https://www.rula.com/fromeveFUMA natural way to break habits:https://tryfum.com/FROMEVEFABLETICSCute, comfy activewear for every season:https://fabletics.com/fromeveCOWBOY COLOSTRUMGut + skin health support:https://cowboycolostrum.com — use code FROMEVESee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Do you find it hard to let go of control? To ask for help? To trust others with your business or your home?  As a Virgo Ruler, I know I do so in this week's Chill & Prosper we're diving right into it. I've not always been good at outsourcing and I've never had a big time, but I've been very intentional about the type of support I've needed to grow my business.  Inside, I share: ✨ My journey with hiring nannies, housekeepers, and home managers ✨ How to know when outsourcing at home is the better business investment ✨ What to do when you're scared to trust someone with tech or passwords ✨ Why parent guilt is such a wasted emotion (and what to role model instead) ✨ How to practise receiving help without shame

Have you ever noticed how easily motherhood can slide into a rhythm powered by guilt instead of joy? Many moms spend their days giving endlessly, rarely pausing to ask for what they need. In this episode, Whitney sits down with Heather Chauvin, author of Dying to Be a Good Mother, for a conversation about rewriting the rules of what it means to be a good mom. Chauvin shares how a stage-four cancer diagnosis forced her to listen to her own inner voice, a decisive moment that shifted everything. She explains why honoring personal needs isn't selfish, it's connective, and how it can deepen relationships with our children, work, and ourselves.   Chauvin also introduces the way she structures her days through her Energetic Time Management method, a system that helps moms build their schedules around the feelings they want to cultivate, not the obligations they're trying to survive. She breaks down how energy, not hours, should lead the calendar, and walks through her signature tool: Energetic Time Management, a practical framework for planning life in alignment, reducing mental load, and reclaiming self-connection without sacrificing impact.   Tune in now to learn how to bring more joy into motherhood without apology. For many women, this approach marks the turning point between burnout and brightness, proving that a well-resourced woman contributes differently, loves differently, and leads differently.   Here's what you can look forward to in this episode: The pressure and unrealistic expectations of mothers to self-sacrifice Considering your needs as an act of rebellion Removing guilt and pressure and feeling more alive Energetic Time Management - Figure out how you want to feel and allocate that time to how you want to feel Seeing challenges in parenting as an opportunity for growth and a deeper connection Reflection question to ponder: How would you parent or live if you didn't care what other people thought?   Join Back to Bright, a 1:1 personalized, four-week coaching experience where I'll guide you in creating sustainable rhythms of rest, joy, and self-connection.   Learn more about 1:1 coaching with Whitney - book a 15-minute Spark Session   Connect with Whitney: Instagram l Website l 5 Days to Less Stress, More Satisfaction l Tend to Your Soul Toolkit l 10 Soulful Journaling Prompts | Electric Ideas Podcast   Connect with Heather: Instagram | Website | Book: Dying to Be a Good Mother | Podcast: Emotionally Uncomfortable

More on the question of blood that was mixed together - this time, if blood that should have been above the red line with that which should have been below the red line - and it is, of course, a matter of dispute. Also, sources for the blood needing to be where it is placed by which animal on the altar, though there's little practical application, despite the disputes.

Not everyone gets to have this kind of behind-the-scenes experience. As a spiritual mentor and intuitive guide to high-net-worth clients, Mellissa Seaman has occasionally been flown on private jets for her work. While she loves the miracle of flying, whether on a commercial airline or a tiny puddle jumper, her first time on a private jet revealed a world most people never get to see. In this episode, Mellissa shares a rare, candid look at what it's actually like to fly private, and how these luxury experiences illuminate the growing divide between economic realities. Her stories are both hilarious and eye-opening, offering a grounded perspective on wealth, privilege, and conscious leadership. She breaks down the three biggest surprises that opened her eyes to how differently the ultra-wealthy travel, and how these luxuries can shift worldview, comfort, and even ecological awareness.   In This Episode, You'll Learn: ✅ What flying private actually feels like behind the scenes ✅ How luxury can create (and distort) different lived realities ✅ Why wealth often comes with eco-guilt and why it rarely stops the behavior ✅ The surprising humanity beneath the glamor ✅ How these experiences deepen Mellissa's compassion across economic divides   More Resources:

Retiring at 50 sounds bold, almost unthinkable for most people, but for Kent, it was the only decision that made sense once life, loss, and perspective pushed everything into focus. In this conversation, he sits down with James Conole, CFP®, to share the honest story behind leaving work two decades earlier than expected.Kent talks about saving from age 18, building a plan long before he knew what retirement would look like, and the complicated mix of discipline, luck, and family legacy that helped him reach this moment. He also opens up about the emotional side: the guilt of inheriting wealth after losing both his father and grandfather, the fear of telling coworkers and his mom, and the surprising relief when everyone responded with encouragement instead of judgment.Nine months into retirement, Kent describes the freedom that comes from being fully present with his daughters, traveling on his family's terms, rediscovering community through pickleball, and learning how to redefine productivity when your time finally becomes your own. And he doesn't sugarcoat the harder parts — the identity shift, the loss of workplace validation, and the work it takes to build purpose outside of career.This is what early retirement looks like when you stop planning only with your brain and start planning with your heart: more time, more presence, and a life shaped by intention instead of inertia.Watch this episode of Retirement Reality — where real retirees share the highs, lows, and turning points that helped them choose a life they don't want to postpone.Want to be a guest on James' show to help others by sharing your story? Complete this form: https://vwo3759x8i7.typeform.com/to/IwyScIeR-Kent is not a client of Root Financial Partners, LLC and received no compensation for participating in this video. His statements reflect his own opinions and experience and are not indicative of any specific client's experience and are not a guarantee of results. No cash or non-cash compensation was provided, and no material conflicts are known.Advisory services are offered through Root Financial Partners, LLC, an SEC-registered investment adviser. This content is intended for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered personalized investment, tax, or legal advice. Viewing this content does not create an advisory relationship. We do not provide tax preparation or legal services. Always consult an investment, tax or legal professional regarding your specific situation.The strategies, case studies, and examples discussed may not be suitable for everyone. They are hypothetical and for illustrative and educational purposes only. They do not reflect actual client results and are not guarantees of future performance. All investments involve risk, including the potential loss of principal.Comments reflect the views of individual users and do not necessarily represent the views of Root Financial. They are not verified, may not be accurate, and should not be considered testimonials or endorsementsParticipation in the Retirement Planning Academy or Early Retirement Academy does not create an advisory relationship with Root Financial. These programs are educational in nature and are not a substitute for personalized financial advice. Advisory services are offered only under a written agreement with Root Financial.Create Your Custom Strategy ⬇️ Get Started Here.Join the new Root Collective HERE!

Christians believe that Jesus is worth more than every good thing in their lives combined. He is the source of every good thing! So what do we are found guilty of leaving Jesus in the attic during our Christmas celebrations? Of course, Jesus should be front and center, but sometimes our attempts to rectify this problem reveal a serious lack of faith. Let's consider how to enjoy both the Giver and His gifts.

Most high-functioning adults don't recognize the moment when their body stops pushing and starts decomposing years of pressure. Rest feels suspicious. Guilt kicks in. Identity gets shaky. And instead of honoring the pause, we label it “laziness.” In this episode, Denise breaks down why decompression feels wrong, how cultural and family patterns make rest emotionally dangerous, how to handle people who get inconvenienced by your boundaries, and how to recognize when your rest is truly complete.Stay Connected with Me!Want to dive deeper? Visit DeniseGLee.com to:

1-Unearned Guilt 2-Impotency ~ 1-How to crush a man's self-worth 2-My husband is ashamed that he can't perform in bed. Listen to caller's personal dramas four times each week as Dr. Kenner takes your calls and questions on parenting, romance, love, family, marriage, divorce, hobbies, career, mental health - any personal issue! Call anytime, toll free 877-Dr-Kenner. Visit www.drkenner.com for more information about the show (where you can also download free chapter one of her serious relationships guidebook).

Krystal and Saagar discuss Trump panics as deep red district up for grab, Trump approval plummets, Epstein admitted guilt in emails, FBI agents ridicule Kash Patel. To become a Breaking Points Premium Member and watch/listen to the show AD FREE, uncut and 1 hour early visit: www.breakingpoints.comMerch Store: https://shop.breakingpoints.com/See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode of Selective Ignorance, Mandii B is joined by super producer A-King, journalist Jayson Rodriguez, and special guest Jason “Jah” Lee for a sharp, unfiltered deep dive into politics, celebrity accountability, cultural contradictions, and personal moments of ignorance. The conversation kicks off with a breakdown of the newly released Epstein files, as the crew explores their political and cultural impact [00:52]—from what the revelations mean for public trust to how power and privilege shape the narrative in America. The group then pivots into real-life chaos with a series of “ignorant moments,” where Mandii and the fellas share candid stories about heated confrontations and the trials of unreliable cleaning services [11:01], offering humor alongside relatable frustrations. The discussion picks up intensity as they examine celebrity accountability, spotlighting public figures like The Game and Matt Barnes [24:01], and questioning how much transparency we truly expect from those with massive platforms. The Epstein files resurface later in the episode [38:50], this time through the lens of political manipulation, media spin, and shifting public perception. From there, the crew delves into Nicki Minaj’s controversial alignment with the Trump administration [48:45], unpacking the broader implications of celebrity influence, political endorsements, and fan-driven loyalty. The conversation takes a spiritual turn when they explore Young Thug’s surprising decision to seek guidance from a rabbi [01:06:36], sparking a broader discussion about personal resets, faith, and unexpected paths to clarity. The episode closes with a provocative “Am I Ignorant?” segment [01:16:24], challenging cultural norms around inheritance, family dynamics, and whether cousins are entitled to a caregiver’s final wishes. “No Holes Barred: A Dual Manifesto Of Sexual Exploration And Power” w/ Tempest X!Sale Link Follow the host on Social MediaMandii B Instagram/X @fullcourtpumps Follow the guests on Social Media@mrhiphopobama Follow the show on Social MediaInstagram @selectiveignorancepodTiktok @selective.ignoranceX/Twitter @selectiveig_podSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Do you feel hard on yourself when you miss a day of scripture study or prayer? Let's learn the powerful truth in D&C 137:9! And grab study guides for the whole family here: - To get Cali's scripture study guide for adults click here: https://comefollowmestudy.com/shop/ Discount code: OMSSOr purchase on Amazon: https://a.co/d/0pKf8Xt- Kristen's daily scripture study help is available for kids/teens/adults in digital and physical form here :https://kristenwalkersmith.com/starthere/And for weekly help understanding the storyline of Come Follow Me check out her YouTube videos here: https://kristenwalkersmith.com/youtube/Get our NEW 365-day Old Testament daily devotional book in Costco stores in Utah, Idaho, ArizonaOr purchase on Amazon: https://a.co/d/0p3Ds0t Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Feeling guilty is one of the most common struggles for people stepping away from a dysfunctional family. Whitney explores how guilt is a learned response, not necessarily an evidence of wrongdoing, and why you were trained to believe that meeting your own needs harms others. She discusses the difference between guilt and grief, how family members use guilt to pull you back in, and offers practical tools for moving forward and coming to terms with these feelings.  Whitney Goodman is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT) and the founder of Calling Home, a membership community that helps people navigate complex family dynamics and break harmful cycles. Have a question for Whitney? Send a voice memo or email to whitney@callinghome.co Join the Family Cyclebreakers Club⁠⁠ Follow Whitney on Instagram | sitwithwhit Follow Whitney on YouTube | @whitneygoodmanlmft ⁠⁠Order Whitney's book, Toxic Positivity Learn more about ad choices. Visit podcast.choices.com/adchoices This podcast is for informational purposes only and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice. 1:19 Why guilt shows up when you start doing life differently 03:04 Guilt is a learned response, not evidence of wrongdoing 12:22 Decentering 20:33 Statements for feelings of guilt 26:17 Building a life where you feel safe and supported Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Guilt, shame, and fear around academic writing show up far more often than we admit. And for many academics, those emotions become so intertwined with our identity that even seeing the phrase "making time to write" can trigger a full-body "Nope!"  I was reminded of this last week during the National Women's Studies Association conference in Puerto Rico. The conference was beautifully integrated with local scholars, activists, and artists, creating a powerful space for community and reflection.  What surprised me most, though, was the range of reactions people had when they walked by our booth and saw my book. Some people laughed; some avoided eye contact and literally walked (or ran!) away; others said, "You're making me feel so bad." That emotional recoil is exactly why today's episode exists. This week, I'm diving deep into what guilt, shame, and overwhelm around writing really reveal—not about you as an individual, but about the sociocultural and institutional contexts you're working within. If you've internalized the idea that your inconsistent writing practice is a personal flaw, this discussion will help you understand why that narrative is wrong, and how to reclaim the sense of agency you absolutely do have. If you've ever thought, "I should be writing," and immediately felt terrible, this one's for you. Tune in, and let's talk about what's really holding back your academic writing and how to move through it. For full show notes visit scholarsvoice.org/podcast. We're receiving applications for our next cohort of Navigate: Your Writing Roadmap®. Check out the program details and start your application process here.   CONTINUE THE CONVERSATION: Our 12-week Navigate: Your Writing Roadmap® program helps tenure-track womxn and nonbinary professors to publish their backlog of papers so that their voice can have the impact they know is possible. Apply here! Cathy's book, Making Time to Write: How to Resist the Patriarchy and Take Control of Your Academic Career Through Writing is available in print! Learn how to build your career around your writing practice while shattering the myths of writing every day, accountability, and motivation, doing mindset work that's going to reshape your writing,and changing academic culture one womxn and nonbinary professor at a time. Get your print copy today or order it for a friend here! If you would like to hear more from Cathy for free, please subscribe to the weekly newsletter, In the Pipeline, at scholarsvoice.org. It's a newsletter that she personally writes that goes out once a week with writing and publication tips, strategies, inspiration, book reviews and more.   CONNECT WITH ME:  LinkedIn Facebook YouTube  

Send us a textMinnesota is back in the national spotlight, again, for all the wrong reasons. Even the national media is now saying what we at American Experiment have been saying for years: under Tim Walz, Minnesota has a fraud EPIDEMIC.Grace and Kathryn kick things off by stopping the tape on Governor Walz's embarrassing response after getting called out on NBC.Next, the U.S. Department of Transportation gives Governor Walz an ultimatum: revoke the driver's licenses issued to illegal immigrants or lose all federal highway funding, totaling $300 million!Then (stop us if you've heard this one) ANOTHER fraudster pleads guilty in Minnesota.Finally, American Experiment's own Bill Glahn, who has been reporting on Minnesota's fraud problem for years and who broke the footage of Keith Ellison pledging support for the Feeding Our Future fraudsters, joins the show!You can find Bill Glahn's story and Keith Ellison on tape supporting the fraudsters here: https://www.americanexperiment.org/fe... Remember to LIKE, SHARE, COMMENT, and SUBSCRIBE, and never miss an episode of the American Experiment Podcast!00:00 - Welcome Back00:42 - The national media FINALLY realizes Minnesota's FRAUD epidemic03:24 - Walz's EMBARASSING response to being called out by NBC08:56 - Judge throws out "GUILT" verdict for Minnesota Fraudster12:03 - Sean Duffey's ultimatum for Governor Walz19:59 - Fraud Expert Bill Glahn joins the show!

Tired of the Holiday Weight Gain Cycle? Here's How to Break FreeThe festive season doesn't have to mean abandoned health goals and January regrets. In this episode, Dr. Orlena tackles one of the biggest challenges healthy eaters face: social eating during the holidays.Drawing from her own journey—from medical school rejection to eventually becoming a doctor—Dr. Orlena shares a powerful truth: if you really want to make lasting change happen, you can. But it requires strategy, not willpower.In this episode, you'll discover:

Today I'm sharing an update about the breakup of my polyamorous triad with Scott and Jess, reflecting on the challenges of differing relationship needs. I discuss the evolution of my relationships, the importance of self-fulfillment, and lessons I've learned about communication, boundaries, and embracing change. I encourage you to cultivate a full life outside of partnerships and offer insights into navigating love, loss, and growth within open relationships. I also hint at some upcoming life events and future podcast topics.Timestamps by PodSqueezeIntroduction and Setting the Stage (00:00:03)Jen introduces the podcast, mentions the recent breakup, and sets up the episode's focus.Reflecting on the Triad Vacation (00:01:24)Jen recalls their first vacation as a triad and the joy of having a third partner.Scott's Desire for Openness (00:02:33)Scott expresses his need for a more open relationship, leading to conflict with Jess.Jess's Need for Stability and the Breakup (00:03:47)Jess asserts her need for monogamy and stability, resulting in the end of the triad.Being the Person in the Middle (00:05:44)Jen discusses the pain and challenges of being caught between two partners with conflicting needs.How Relationship Dynamics Change (00:07:01)Jen reflects on how needs and dynamics shift over time, using her marriages as examples.Personal Growth Through Relationships (00:08:14)Jen shares her journey of self-discovery and growth during her second marriage.Sexual Awakening and Changing Needs (00:09:05)Jen describes her late-30s sexual awakening and the resulting end of her second marriage.Accelerated Change in Open Relationships (00:10:09)Jen explains how open relationships can accelerate personal and relational growth.Shifting Dynamics with Scott and Steph (00:11:16)Jen recounts how relationship dynamics with Scott and Steph evolved, including role reversals.Tossing Out Relationship Rules (00:12:23)Jen discusses moving away from rigid rules and embracing fluidity in open relationships.Evolving Relationship with Steph (00:13:45)Jen details how her relationship with Steph changed after Scott left the triad.Intentional Time and Changing Expectations (00:15:45)Jen describes efforts to schedule intentional time with Steph and how expectations shifted.Letting Go of Guilt and Societal Roles (00:19:10)Jen learns to release guilt and societal expectations, focusing on authentic connection.Self-Fulfillment Outside of Partners (00:20:20)Jen emphasizes the importance of self-fulfillment and not relying solely on partners for happiness.Making Room for New Connections (00:22:37)Jen discusses being open to new partners and connections as life and needs change.Lessons from the Breakup with Jess (00:23:34)Jen reflects on the pain of losing Jess and the importance of letting people come and go.Unattached Love and Relationship Choice (00:25:49)Jen shares insights about unattached love and choosing relationships without rigid requirements.Outro and Upcoming Life Events (00:26:44)Jen wraps up, mentions upcoming travel, moving, and thanks listeners for their support.Podcast Closing and Listener Engagement (00:28:36)Closing remarks, encouraging feedback, topic suggestions, and sharing the podcast.Follow The Open Bedroom Podcast:https://www.instagram.com/theopenbedroompodcast/

277. Breaking Through Addiction in Marriage with Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith   *DISCLAIMER* This episode is intended for adults.   1 John 1:9 AMP "If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose].”   *Transcription Below*   Thank You to Our Sponsor: Leman Property Management Company   Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are clinicians, speakers, and authors with over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Their mission is to help couples navigate the complexities of relational challenges, particularly in the aftermath of sexual addiction and betrayal trauma, fostering deep restoration and growth.   Matthew is a Professional Certified Coach (ICF) with a background in pastoral leadership, while Joanna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, EMDR practitioner, and Certified Clinical Partner Specialist through APSATS. Both hold Master of Divinity degrees and have served together on multiple church leadership teams. Currently, they co-lead their private practice, The Raabsmith Team, where they specialize in helping couples rebuild connection, trust, and intimacy.   Their passion for this work stems from their own journey of restoration. After experiencing the devastating effects of sexual addiction and betrayal in their marriage, Matthew and Joanna embarked on a years-long pursuit of reconciliation. This transformative experience led to the creation of tools like The Intimacy Pyramid™, a practical model for relational restoration and growth co-created with colleague Dan Drake.    Their first book, Building True Intimacy (2023), has sold over 1,000 copies and provides practical guidance for couples to use the Intimacy Pyramid to create enduring connections. They also founded Renewing Us Recovery™, a comprehensive program designed to support couples in the later stages of relational restoration. In November 2025, they will host the inaugural Renewing Us Couples Retreat, offering workshops and connection opportunities for couples on similar paths of recovery and growth.   Matthew and Joanna live in Memphis, Tennessee with their three young children. They prioritize self-care through shared adventures, new experiences, and a weekly game of pickleball.   Free Resource Mentioned in Episode   Building True Intimacy book   Questions and Topics Discussed: What were the warning signs that you noticed when you were newlyweds that tipped you off to believing things weren't quite as they seemed? Are there any common life circumstances, whether nature or nurture, that predispose someone to be more likely to struggle with a sexual addiction? As couples seek to thrive in marriage, will you give us an overview of the intimacy pyramid you wrote a book about?   Other Episodes Mentioned During Episode: Pornography: Protecting Children, Personal Healing, Recovery, and Victory in Christ with Sam Black Pornography Addiction and Helpful Recovery with Crystal Renaud Day   Additional Related Episodes on The Savvy Sauce: Anatomy of an Affair with Dave Carder Protecting Your Marriage Against Unfaithfulness with Dave Carder Stories Series: Recovery From Sexual Sin in Marriage with Garrett and Brenna Naufel Supernatural Restoration Story with Bob and Audrey Meisner Special Patreon Re-Release Wholehearted Quiet Time with Naomi Vacaro   Gospel Scripture: (all NIV) Romans 3:23 “for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,”   Romans 3:24 “and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus.”   Romans 3:25 (a) “God presented him as a sacrifice of atonement, through faith in his blood.”   Hebrews 9:22 (b) “without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.”    Romans 5:8 “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”    Romans 5:11 “Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.”   John 3:16 “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”   Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”    Luke 15:10 says “In the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.”   Romans 8:1 “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus”   Ephesians 1:13–14 “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation. Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God's possession- to the praise of his glory.”   Ephesians 1:15–23 “For this reason, ever since I heard about your faith in the Lord Jesus and your love for all the saints, I have not stopped giving thanks for you, remembering you in my prayers. I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray also that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is like the working of his mighty strength, which he exerted in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every title that can be given, not only in the present age but also in the one to come. And God placed all things under his feet and appointed him to be head over everything for the church, which is his body, the fullness of him who fills everything in every way.”   Ephesians 2:8–10 “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith – and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God – not by works, so that no one can boast. For we are God‘s workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.“   Ephesians 2:13 “But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ.“   Philippians 1:6 “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”   *Transcription*   Music: (0:00 – 0:12)   Laura Dugger: (0:13 - 1:38) Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, where we have practical chats for intentional living. I'm your host, Laura Dugger, and I'm so glad you're here.   Today's message is not intended for little ears. We'll be discussing some adult themes, and I want you to be aware before you listen to this message.   Leman Property Management Company has the apartment you will be able to call home, with over 1,700 apartment units available in Central Illinois. Visit them today at lemanproperties.com, or connect with them on Facebook.   Matthew and Joanna Raabsmith are my guests today. They are clinicians, speakers, and authors with over 20 years of combined experience in counseling, coaching, and guiding couples toward healing and transformation. Our conversation takes a few turns, from getting to hear their incredible and vulnerable story of healing and then getting tips for talking to our children about topics like sex, and also even receiving some practical wisdom and tips for enhancing our own marital enjoyment.   Here's our chat. Welcome to The Savvy Sauce, Matthew and Joanna.   Matthew Raabsmith: (1:39 - 1:40) So good to be here.   Joanna Raabsmith: (1:40 - 1:42) So glad to be here. Thanks for having us.   Laura Dugger: (1:42 - 1:51) Oh, truly my pleasure. And let's just start here. Can you share your story going back to meeting and falling in love and your first part of marriage?   Matthew Raabsmith: (1:53 - 2:17) Sure, yeah. It was a little bumpy at first, actually. So, I knew Joanna through her brother. Joanna's brother was one of my best friends, and I got to meet her whenever she would come in town and visit, and she would invade guy night. He would usually bring her along to like a Lord of the Rings movie or something, and I would be a little frustrated because I would be like, oh, you brought your sister. Great. That's wonderful.   Joanna Raabsmith: (2:18 - 2:24) A little off-putting, not super friendly. And I was like, your friend's kind of a jerk. We did not like each other at all in the beginning.   Matthew Raabsmith: (2:24 - 2:54) Not big fans. And eventually over some time, we started to realize we had a lot in common. We liked to do a lot of the same things.   And one summer that Joanna was in town, we started hanging out, started doing more and more together, and really just kind of developed a friendship, which was really fun. And at the very end of the summer, realized that there was something between us. And so, we went on one date.   Our first date, we entered a golf tournament. We won it, and that was a good sign.   Joanna Raabsmith: (2:54 - 2:55) That's a pretty good sign.   Matthew Raabsmith: (2:55 - 3:02) And we went on three more dates over the course of two months and got engaged.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:03 - 3:07) And then two months after that, we got married.   Matthew Raabsmith: (3:07 - 3:16) Yeah. So, her brother went from like, yeah, it's cool you date my sister, to like, you're not ready to get married. But he's come around now.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:17 - 3:19) 15 years later. Yeah.   Matthew Raabsmith: (3:19 - 3:40) And, you know, a lot of it was, I think we had a definite sense of being kind of called together, being, you know, something special about who we were as a couple. And also, a recognition that we wanted to figure out what a good marriage looked like. We were really excited about marriage, but we didn't really know what we were doing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (3:41 - 4:15) Yeah, I've had a really great model of healthy relationship. My parents have a wonderful marriage. They work really well as a team.   And so, I knew, like, I want something like that. But as soon as we got married, we realized, but how do you actually build that? There's no, like, instruction manual for, okay, here are the things to do to have a great relationship.   And so, we read books. We went to conferences. You know, we did what we could, but we still found ourselves getting stuck, not able to really create, like, that deep sense of, like, connection intimacy that we really wanted.   Matthew Raabsmith: (4:15 - 5:17) And we started kind of hunting more and more for resources. We found some incredible resources that really changed our understanding of the way relationships work, the way people work, and really, for us, shifted our entire focus of kind of what we wanted to do, even with our life. And as we started to do that, though, we still kind of found ourselves at this kind of glass wall.   We felt like no matter what we tried, there was always this kind of distance between us. And that started to grow kind of over the years that we were together. It wasn't getting better.   It was actually kind of getting worse and worse and worse. And so, Joanna had actually decided to, after we finished our first grad degree together, the idea was we were going to go be pastors. And so, we had finished our kind of theological training.   Joanna decided she wanted to get a master's in marriage and family therapy so we could do some work around marriages and ministry in that way. And her very first-class kind of just set our life in a completely different direction.   Joanna Raabsmith: (5:17 - 6:26) Yes. So, my first class in the MFT program was a two-week intensive called Shame and Guilt. So, that's a really fun two-week intensive to be a part of. And as a part of that, though, they had an anonymous pastor come and share his testimony of struggling with sex addiction, becoming sober, getting into good recovery, healing and restoration in his marriage, kind of like that whole journey. And as he was talking, something inside of me started stirring. And I knew, OK, what he's saying is resonating way too much with me right now.   I think this is the thing. This is what is keeping us stuck, not able to really create the relationship we want. And so, that day I went home and first I just kind of started talking about my class, what I learned, what this pastor had shared.   Right. And nothing. Right.   We're just kind of talking generally about it. And so, finally I couldn't do it anymore. And I just stopped and I looked him square in the eyes and I said, “Are you struggling with this in our marriage right now?”   Matthew Raabsmith: (6:26 - 8:03) Yeah. And for the first time in my life, 20 years, I had been struggling with pornography, sexual addiction, and acting out in our marriage. And for the first time in my life, I was honest.   I had lied for years, both with Joanna and everyone else. And the kind of floodgates just kind of opened up. And I finally said yes.   And it was really hearing the story, I think, is what did it for me. I think it was knowing that somebody else had made it, that their life hadn't come crashing down because that was the greatest fear for me. That the moment anyone found this out, everything in my life would be over. Everything that I loved would be gone.   And so, this kind of story of hope gave me a little bit of courage that day, to be honest. But that started a really long journey for us because there was a lot of damage that was done in both of my hiding. And now kind of this revelation, all the pain kind of came crashing down on Joanna and kind of her shoulders.   And so, we started a quite intensive recovery process. We talked about it being kind of a full-time job. I went to recovery for my addiction and for kind of my acting out behaviors. Joanna had to begin a process of healing from the trauma of this discovery. And that process took us a number of years. It really was a long kind of arduous journey, but one that we ultimately survived and now thrive in our marriage and get the incredible luxury and the kind of gift of helping other couples do that.   So, that's kind of where we find ourselves.   Laura Dugger: (8:04 - 8:30) That is incredible. I just really appreciate you sharing your story. Clearly, stories are so powerful and that's what led to some healing for you and hopefully can open the floodgates for somebody else listening.   So, if we go back in your story, then, Joanna, I'd love to start with you. What were some of those red flags in early marriage that things aren't quite as they seem?   Joanna Raabsmith: (8:31 - 10:28) Yeah, there are a few. You know, I think that, you know, one of the pieces we kind of talked about, like, OK, we knew we're still getting stuck because there's 90 percent that felt really good. But then 10 percent that was extremely chaotic, really destructive.   Right. We would get we call the pain cycles when we get emotionally dysregulated. And there would be some things that, right.   Sometimes we would get into pain cycles, get dysregulated. And I kind of understand why. Right.   Like something happened. There was the disagreement. But other times I couldn't put my finger on it.   Right. Matthew would just get really angry and really shut down. And I wouldn't be able to connect it to anything that had happened in our life.   And so, it was very confusing. It was really hard to understand what was going on. And I think kind of in the same way, when I would pull too close into that connection, that intimacy, he would pull back.   Right. And it felt like even though we both named this goal and this desire, he would never actually partner with me in it. And so, again, that was really confusing because the actions were not matching up with reality and what was happening.   And I think the other piece that was kind of true for us and true for a lot of other people is that our own sexual relationship was fraught with pain. And so, there was, again, a lot that was really good, but also a lot that was really painful and confusing. And some of the pieces just didn't connect.   Right. And I would wonder, OK, what's going on? Well, I guess this is just the reality that like this is how much we get to expect in this area of our life, right.   In our relationship. And so, it was when the pastor started describing his life and addiction and what that looked like emotionally, sexually, relationally. I was like, oh, those are all the things that I'm currently experiencing.   Here's one thing that would answer all those questions that I have. And so, I think that was part of it. He kind of told me, like, OK, this is it.   Laura Dugger: (10:28 - 11:00) That would be so eye opening. And my heart's going out to the couple who is maybe starting to identify with this. Was it and share whatever you're comfortable with from your story or the person's story who opened things up to you?   So, sexually, I'm wondering if it was for you, Joanna, if you were hoping to connect sexually and that wasn't happening and that was confusing. You didn't feel pursued. But I don't want to fill in the blanks.   So, could you elaborate?   Joanna Raabsmith: (11:00 - 12:03) Absolutely. Yeah. And we find it a lot of different ways than couples that we work with.   Right. And so, it can be sometimes on either side of the extreme. And so, for us, it was where there would be kind of times when he'd be fully present and interested and engaged. Right. And then all of a sudden, kind of like I described emotionally, he would just withdraw and not be there. And I would reach out to connect.   And that was this like non-response. And which, again, didn't match up with those other times when he was engaged and wanting to connect. And he would give some sort of excuse that didn't totally make sense.   Right. But I was kind of like, what else? What was I left with except that?   So, I would kind of believe that and go with it, even though it didn't sit right. And so, yeah, I think that was part of it. We will see on the other side for some other couples.   It's the opposite. And maybe that spouse is hypersexual in the relationship. Right.   To the point where there might be pressure, even pressure to do things sexually that people aren't comfortable with. And so, yeah, it can look a lot of different ways. But that was kind of what our disconnect looked like.   Laura Dugger: (12:04 - 12:33) That's so helpful. And there's two different directions I want to go, Matthew. So, I'll set it up.   I guess I'm thinking of the guilt and shame and how those are usually so present. So, I have two questions. Were you when Joanna came to you, were you at a point where you recognize something was off and you wanted freedom from this and or had tried freedom before?   Let's start with that and then I'll go into the other one.   Matthew Raabsmith: (12:34 - 14:40) Yeah, it really was holy timing in a lot of ways. I, you know, for a lot of years I had I hated what I did. I didn't feel like I could stop it, but didn't have a lot of interest in kind of doing anything to stop it.   I kind of just like would just say, “OK, this is going to be the last time.” And then, you know, of course it would come back. But I think at this point I had really started to see the damage that was happening to our relationship.   I could feel us growing close, growing further apart. I could see kind of Joanna and the confusion that she was having. And like she couldn't understand things.   She would ask me a lot of questions that I didn't have answers to. And so, I actually a couple of months earlier, we were at a worship service, and they had said like, “hey, if you are ready to give something up, if you feel like there's something holding you back, come forward and confess it.” And Joanna and I were sitting next to each other, and I remember feeling like the Holy Spirit just like pulling me to like get up out of my seat and I wouldn't move.   I was like, no, because she's going to ask me what I went down for. I'm going there's you know, there's a random kind of prayer partner at the front. I'm like, I'm not going and confessing this to some random person.   And so, I was ready. But I think like I said, I think there was no path forward. It was kind of confess this and everything stops and ends.   But everything like marriage ends, life ends. And so, when she when she brought this, it really did feel like God had kind of been answering a prayer that I've been praying of like, if you give me a way out, I'll take it. I'm desperate.   I want it to stop. And it felt like that. I think it was both this kind of terror and this hope that day.   And even when I said, yes, it was a little bit like, what have I done? Like, could this have been different? Should I have just gone and told someone else privately?   Right. But I think ultimately that it was out between the two of us and that we kind of knew it. We knew what we were dealing with made a huge difference.   But I mean, God had been working in my life, offering opportunities for so long. I just been saying no, no, no. And then finally, you know, I think my heart just broke and it was like, yes, OK, I'm ready for this.   Laura Dugger: (14:40 - 15:14) I love how the Holy Spirit equipped you with that humility and courage to be brave in that moment. And it's such a blessing for all of us to get to see the end or I guess not the end of the story, but you at this point in your story where you're thriving. And so, I hope that offers a lot of hope to people listening.   But let's also pause. And so, going back further in time, Matthew, this was the other part of my question. What was life and attachment and your growing up journey like?   Matthew Raabsmith: (15:15 - 18:09) Yeah, I didn't know that at the time. Right. I a lot of this I figured out in the last couple of years of recovery.   You know, if you would have asked me, you know, as I was growing up about my life, I would have told you I had the perfect family. I had the perfect life. I think I did not realize that some of the things that I was going through weren't perfect, were harder.   And part of that was because I think the way my family dynamic worked was we just swept everything under the rug. You know, whatever happened, we just kind of went, OK, and moved on from. And I learned to do that as a kid.   And that meant a lot of emotional chaos. There was a lot of physical chaos and kind of volatility in our house growing up. And even though I had parents who are still married to this day, have stayed together and have tried to create kind of a stable life.   There was a lot of emotional and kind of relational instability. We moved around a lot. And then once we started moving, I found myself more and more kind of isolated at school. I started dealing with bullying and some things that really kind of left me not knowing how to deal with the pain that I was going through. And so, my way of stuffing things under the rug was getting, you know, escaping, you know, kind of escaping into anything that I could. I watched a lot of TV.   I was a latchkey kid, so I would come home. I'd watch TV a lot in the afternoon and then TV kind of just turned to more and more. And I was exposed pretty young to pornography, actually at a church camp.   I was at a summer church camp. Someone brought a Playboy magazine, and I was exposed to pornography. And I kind of felt that high, that rush.   And that just became kind of a mode of my escape. Right. Of whatever I could do to engage sexually, whether with my mind or with others.   That's how I could get out of the pain I was in. That's how I could stop feeling kind of the chaos that I was having and not realizing that it was becoming this kind of adaptive habit, that it would just be this thing I would go back to more and more. And I grew up at a time that technology was still emerging.   So, I can remember when we got our first computer and no one was talking about safeguards or anything. And so, it was just kind of exposure. Here you go.   Here's everything you could ever want and don't need. And that really became my life. And the more and more that I did, the better and better I got at lying and hiding and even being kind of vulnerable in kind of fake ways.   I would mention things like, yeah, we all have this struggle. And even Joanna, I had told like, you know, that was a struggle of mine in the past, but I've moved on from it. Right.   I told myself and other people just kind of lie after lie after lie so that I could have really this double life. I could appear one way and then I could be acting a completely different way, kind of in the dark.   Laura Dugger: (18:10 - 20:41) Yeah. And that makes sense. I'm thinking back to two episodes.   We did one with a male, Sam Black from Covenant Eyes, and he speaks so much of the origins of pornography and that foothold that Satan gets. And so many times it is in childhood, unwittingly you're exposed and then what it can turn into. And then Crystal Renaud Day came on to share a lot of females struggle with this as well.   And so, I'll link to those if those are a help.   And now a brief message from our sponsor. 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For me, I had to figure out what had really gone on in my life and what was really happening.   Because, like I said, I had become such an expert at hiding from myself and others that I didn't really know how to live any other way. And so, I, you know, Joanna kind of handed me a list of everything this pastor had done. She was like, here you go.   Right. She kind of handed me that list and was like, good luck. And so, I dove in.   I went to a men's intensive. And I think that was probably one of the key places for me to tell my story for the first time. I really took a look at my life and had some people help me take a look and recognize the trauma that I had as a kid exposure that I had experienced and what that really meant to me and helped me understand what I was doing.   But also, kind of what I was doing to myself, how I was really kind of killing myself from the inside out and preventing myself from having the kind of relationship I wanted with God and other people. And so, that discovery was in really ways kind of invigorating for me. I felt like I was living for the first time.   I think I had started to kind of get out of this kind of burden, this fear of always being caught. I told Joanna kind of the history of everything that had happened in my life and our relationship. And so, I was feeling this kind of renewed sense of like energy and excitement of like, this is good.   I want this life. I want the life there that I'm not in constant kind of fear and in constant kind of connection to this thing I hate. And so, which is really different than what Joanna was experiencing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (22:30 - 25:07) Yeah. So, for me, it was very jarring in the beginning. Everything I thought was real came crashing down around me.   And that was especially jarring because I had left kind of the direction, the path that I was on. Right. We talked about our story earlier.   It included two months of dating, two months of engagement before we got married. And that also included me dropping out of law school, getting married and moving to California to pursue a ministry degree so we could work as pastors together or do something together. And so, in that moment, all of that came crashing down.   And I kind of was very lost, not just in our relationship, but in kind of what in the world am I even doing here? What am I going to do moving forward if he doesn't choose recovery? Right.   And so, just all of those question marks, all in that one moment of him answering that question affirmative. And so, so there was like that heaviness on one side and then on the other side was this relief of finally everything I've been experiencing makes sense. Right. Finally, I feel like I actually know what's going on. And because of that, there could maybe be a path forward for us as well. So, is this very, very weird dichotomy in that moment? And so, but I think I knew right away, like, I can't be vulnerable. I can't be intimate with him anymore. Right.   I have to step back in our relationship and wait and see what he chooses to do. Is he going to choose to do the work of recovery and get healthy and start to be honest and safe or not? And so, that's so we kind of did kind of there's some space for a very long period of time while we focused on our own individual recoveries.   And that, again, was a little bumpy for me. This is over a decade ago. And so, there is very little information about what partners experience.   We call it betrayal trauma, and that just wasn't a very common word at the time. And so, some of the resources I plugged into came from a more we would call it codependent, co-addict focus, which just really didn't fit. So, I struggled to find resources that felt like they fit for my journey.   But once I did, it all again, my own healing process started to make sense. And it was so like freeing and liberating to understand. Like, oh, OK, this is what I'm going through. This is why I feel this way.   This is what it looks like to heal and move forward. And so, kind of beginning that process was so important because then when Matthew was kind of in a healthy, safe place, I was as well, and we can start to step in towards each other on that kind of more couples' journey at that point.   Laura Dugger: (25:07 - 25:17) I love how you did that wisely, though, separate first, not rushing into couples at that time. Absolutely.   Matthew Raabsmith: (25:18 - 26:33) Appreciate you calling it wise. I think we were terrified. Yeah, we'll take God's help.   I think he was like, you guys just work on your own stuff for a while. And in some ways, like I said, it was we didn't know what we were doing. But I think we knew we wanted there to be a future between the two of us.   But we knew it had to be completely different in some ways than what we had before, which was scary because we liked what we had before. Like we had a really great marriage in many ways. Right.   There was this portion of it, this hidden portion that was really infecting and killing it all. But what we did have together, we didn't want to totally lose. It just was really hard to know, especially early on, what's going to come forward.   Like, who are we still going to be as we go forward? Are we still going to be a couple who does things together? Right. Who works together? Or is that all kind of going to have to be different? Is that the only way that we have kind of moving forward?   And so, that was that was probably the hardest part was having like this sense of like not wanting to lose us. We were like, if we lost that, that was going to be miserable. And I think a lot of our work was about how do we eventually reclaim this marriage that we want, that we love?   Laura Dugger: (26:34 - 27:04) Yes, because from what I'm sensing, you're friends with each other, you're on purpose or on mission with God. He did a course correction change, putting you on this path to help couples. But your desire to work together, it's like He still honored that in the ministry of reconciliation.   And I'm assuming abundantly blessed it beyond what you could ever dreamed up what we're doing now.   Joanna Raabsmith: (27:04 - 27:42) Right. It's been amazing to see what God has done, how he's used our story, which is so fitting because it was someone sharing their story that brought our healing. And I think because of that and it wasn't right away; it took some time to get to the place where we felt open to God using our story to bring healing to others. But we found as we stepped into that, that we have received such a blessing.   Right. And just being able to sit with other couples in that journey and see them go from that place of pain and confusion to this place of restoration and thriving. Like there is no better work that we could have imagined for ourselves.   Laura Dugger: (27:42 - 28:09) Love that. And really, you did have to pioneer a path. There weren't many resources at that time.   So, that's another reason I'm grateful you can share your story, because I hope it unlocks freedom for others. So, if we're turning more outward now and you're helping as you work with couples, how do you help them identify the difference between sexual struggles and sexual addiction?   Matthew Raabsmith: (28:10 - 30:15) Yeah, that's a great question. And I think that it really kind of exists on a spectrum. And so, everything kind of exists under what we call problematic sexual behavior or unwanted sexual behavior.   Whenever someone is acting in a way sexually that doesn't align with their values. And then the question is, is how often, how compulsive, right? How habituated, right?   How really embedded is that practice? Because the more and more embedded it is and the more and more that I continue to act on that, seeing the damage that it's doing, that's really what qualifies as the addiction. The addiction is when I know that this is causing harm and I and I feel that even though I want to stop it and I've tried to stop.   Right. I can't stop the 12 steps has a great line. They say addicts, you know, addicts have no problem stopping.   It's staying stopped. That's hard for an addict. Right.   And so, that's usually a sign that there's an addiction. And really what that means is that just means that I'm going to have to be even more kind of thorough and scrupulous in my willingness to change a lot. Because if I have built an addictive lifestyle, that means everything I do kind of functions to support that lifestyle.   Right. And so, my part of that was this hiding. I lied about everything.   I would lie about anything just to make sure that I was in control of the narrative. And so, for me, it was recognizing that if I was going to move forward free of my addiction, then it had to begin with honesty, with this kind of radical honesty and transparency and growing in that consistently, because that was the way that I manifested this addiction and kind of kept it going. And so, that's really what the addiction is about, is recognizing what are the kind of pieces in my life that are supporting this addiction to continue to exist?   And how is God going to dismantle those things? Right. And how am I going to be a part of that dismantling?   Laura Dugger: (30:16 - 30:33) That's well said. And also, I'm curious, are there any common life circumstances, whether that's nature or nurture, that are more likely to predispose someone to more likely have this struggle with sexual addiction?   Matthew Raabsmith: (30:34 - 32:30) I mean, there are, I think, you know, the things that we tend to look for are trauma and trauma comes in so many different forms. So, trauma is more it's rare that it's a single event. It's often more a kind of consistent occurrences.   As I mentioned, you know, I can't speak to kind of one event in my life that I say this was the traumatic moment in which everything changed. But it was more of the chaos. And so, I grew up in a family that could be really, really, really loving and incredibly encouraging and fun and silly and in a heartbeat switch into one that was verbally and physically just chaotic and terrifying.   And it was that chaos that kept me on edge. What it did was it created in me kind of a system of always wanting to be on high alert. And that would exhaust me.   That would kind of wear me out. And I would want to kind of numb that kind of feeling away. And so, I think those traumas, I do think early exposure.   Right. I mean, I was exposed early before my brain was ready to really understand what it was dealing with. And I think the third component that we often see is a low level or a kind of really a void of sexual education.   There was I'm sure I had a small talk with my dad at some point, but we were not talking about pornography. We weren't talking about bodies. We weren't talking about sex from a kind of healthy, good way.   I grew up in the church, and it was kind of don't do this until you're married and then you'll be fine. Right. That was the sexual education message.   And so, those things, right, trauma, exposure and lack of kind of education usually forms in someone a difficulty of knowing what they're doing, knowing that it's destroying them before it's really kind of gotten a deep hole.   Joanna Raabsmith: (32:30 - 33:20) I think like the brain. The brain aspect to when we talk about addiction, there are usually chemicals involved in addiction being formed, being created. And so, I think also co-occurring disorders, right, that emotional pain, also things like anxiety, depression, ADHD, where my brain really likes the dopamine it gets from sexual acting out. Right.   And you can actually need it to feel OK. That can also be a factor in kind of especially that addictive side of these behaviors. When my brain gets really attached to that dopamine release that it's getting because maybe I have some other things going on or I just have emotional pain.   I don't know what to deal with, how to handle it, how to regulate that in a healthy way.   Laura Dugger: (33:20 - 34:30) There's so many good points there. I'll just highlight one because there's a profound piece that you were talking about with early exposure to evil and the corruption of it is extremely harmful. And yet not being exposed to God's good design for sex and hopefully being coached by our parents, that is both of those play a part in the addiction. And so, I'm thinking even as we shift to think about parents, I know I've had parents come to me and just say, I don't want to talk about this with my kids.   I don't want to rob their innocence. And my approach is if God made it, this is good. We can talk to them.   You're not robbing their innocence when you're sharing the good age-appropriate parts of sex. And it's so great to be that first one to share with them. And I think it does the opposite of what we would expect.   We're afraid that that might make them hyper sexualized. But would you speak to that? Any encouragement for parents?   Matthew Raabsmith: (34:30 - 36:37) Yeah, it's tricky. I mean, even as parents, we've got kids and its still kind of navigating it. But I do think what it does is it lets someone learn the things they need to in the timeline they need to.   I think part of one of the things is that, you know, really good sexual education starts young. I mean, they start six and seven years old or even younger, just talking about our bodies. Right.   Because I think that's part of it. Really, this is about understanding the goodness of our bodies. This body was created by God, the maker of heaven and earth, and he called it good.   And so, I think part of a good sexual education begins with that. And then, what's really nice is once you've started the conversation, that means if your children are exposed or if they're presented with things that don't line up with what they've been hearing, they now feel safe to come and talk about that. Because that's really what this was about.   I didn't feel safe to talk about what I was exposed to, what people were doing. Right. And what people were encouraging me to engage in.   And so, you know, my parents would ask me how it's going. I would not tell them anything because it wasn't a conversation that they were having with me. And so, I didn't think it was a conversation I was going to have with them.   And so, that meant that as I found myself further and further away from my values, I felt like, who am I going to share this with? And so, part of having the conversation is it normalizes with our kids that this is OK to talk about, which is actually what adults need. I mean, part of our work with couples as adults, we have to get them talking about sex and body parts.   I mean, it's amazing to have 30, 40, and 50-year-olds in our offices and in our sessions. And they're so uncomfortable. Right.   They don't want to talk about sex. They don't want to talk about their bodies. They don't want to talk about what their bodies do.   Right. And we keep being like, this is God's good stuff. Right.   There is goodness here. But you have to begin by talking about it. Right.   Having these conversations.   Joanna Raabsmith: (36:38 - 37:54) I tell all the parents I work with, your kids are going to pick up a narrative about what sex is and what sexuality is, whether you want them to or not. And so, would you rather be the first person to step in and give them a healthy view, a healthy narrative to understand? Right.   And this is beyond kind of the nuts and bolts that everything our kids are learning. They're trying to find a deeper meaning. They don't think it's unconscious when they're young. Right. But they're taking it and they're going, what meaning does this have for me? How does this inform my self-worth, my view of my own value as a human in my body?   And how does it inform my experience of the world and my safety in the world? And am I empowered to make decisions? Am I connected?   Do I belong? Right. All of those questions are asking.   And so, as they're confronted with issues of sexuality, it's going to inform those things. And the world will not give them a healthy narrative about it. Right.   And so, being able as a parent to step in and give them that healthy meaning, that narrative, that understanding of their worth and their safety as they're piecing together kind of sexuality, again, at that age-appropriate level is so important.   Laura Dugger: (37:54 - 38:30) Guess what? We are no longer an audio only podcast. We now have video included as well.   If you want to view the conversation each week, make sure you watch our videos. We're on YouTube and you can access videos or find answers to any of your other questions about the podcast when you visit thesavvysauce.com. And I love that you're talking about this with couples you work with.   So, will you give us an overview of the intimacy pyramid that you actually wrote a book about and you teach to couples?   Joanna Raabsmith: (38:30 - 38:31) Absolutely.   Matthew Raabsmith: (38:31 - 39:15) Yeah. I mean, it was born out of our journey because, as you said, we wandered for a while and we felt a little bit like Israel, just kind of, you know, knowing that the Promised Land was out there, but never really feeling like we could find it. And when we started to piece together, I think the kind of relationship that we had dreamed of reclaiming, we really ask ourselves, how can we make this a more direct, a simpler process, not just for couples who went through what we went through, but really for any couple who's hungry for this, for the couple like us when we were first starting.   It really wants an amazing marriage. And so, we really focused on a kind of simplistic idea of what are the core kind of foundational levels of building really healthy intimacy.   Joanna Raabsmith: (39:16 - 40:10) Yeah. So, the intimacy pyramid, it's actually a triangle. There's a visual that goes along with it.   So, if you imagine the different levels of the triangle, very similar to Maslow's hierarchy of needs, starting at the bottom, you have to start with honesty. And so, we definitely experienced that reality in our own relationship. Right.   This is something we learned from Couples in Betrayal, but like Matthew said, we realized this is where every couple starts. Am I willing to be fully open, fully honest and transparent in this relationship? Am I being my authentic self?   Right. And after that level of honesty, that's when we start to build safety. And that has to do with our ability to communicate in really healthy, constructive ways.   Even when it's hard, even when we're disagreeing, even when we feel like yelling at each other. Are we able to show up with that belief that we both have the same goal? We're trying to build something together.   Matthew Raabsmith: (40:10 - 41:57) And with honesty and safety, that's where we get to work on trust as a couple. That's that next level. And trust is where we start to be more partners, where we're really starting to kind of lean in, work together, kind of be courageous and saying, “Hey, this isn't just my life anymore, right?”   This is our life together. And as that trust is established, this is what allows for the incredible work of vulnerability. And there's been all these studies about vulnerability over the last few years and how important it is.   What we recognize, though, is vulnerability on top of nothing is actually really risky and kind of even dangerous. It's vulnerability that's built on healthy trust where we step in and we do share some of those deeper pains in those wounds, those fears. We start to really heal some of those kind of early traumas that we experience.   It's in that vulnerability. That's what allows a couple to be truly intimate. And it's when they've worked through each of these levels, what we find is these couples, when they reach this kind of this intimacy level, they're passionate about who they are as a couple. They love kind of their relationship itself. They have a purpose to it. They have a sense that like our marriage, our relationship exists for a reason, but they're also really playful.   They're silly. They're really kind of comfortable in their own skin. And it's those five levels really working together that allows them to experience a relationship that gives life. I think one of the things we know is that when God creates, it gives life. And so, God created marriage not to burden us, right? Not to kind of, you know, not even just to get us through, you know, kind of surviving life, but actually to bring more life.   Right. And not just life within the relationship itself, but life outside of it.   Laura Dugger: (41:58 - 42:22) Oh, I love it. And you're also working with couples. I've heard you speak before about the working on offering your spouse the gift of self-awareness. And so, what could couples expect? How do you actually work with them to grow in self-awareness and recognize things like the emotional process they go through in marriage?   Joanna Raabsmith: (42:22 - 43:48) Absolutely. So, awareness. So, in our book, we obviously detail the intimacy period much more.   And that's Building True Intimacy is the name of the book. But each of those levels we just walked through have different components that go into that. And awareness is kind of like one of the most important components of that honesty foundation.   So, we have to start with awareness and we can't really build anything if there's a lack of self-awareness. And so, when we work with couples, one of the first places we start is we kind of look at the past. Are they aware of what they've been through, what those experiences are, and how those experiences have shaped them into the person that is now in the present, showing up with their spouse.   Right. And so, once I start to have that insight from my past, from those experiences, how they shape me, I can better understand my present. What are the things that I feel and why do I feel those things in particular?   Right. And then when I feel those things in a relationship, and these are typically those kind of heavier, more challenging, more painful emotions. How do I respond?   How am I showing up? Because the reality is that all of us cope with emotional pain the same way we cope with physical pain. We go into fight or flight.   That part of our brain gets triggered and we respond with these kind of destructive relational coping behaviors that then hurt my partner.   Matthew Raabsmith: (43:48 - 46:22) Yeah. Like, for example, I told you about that chaos I experienced as a kid. And so, those would always happen around conflicts.   My parents would disagree about something. There would be some type of argument about, you know, and it could be anything where we were going for dinner or what color the curtains were. Right.   But it would create this chaotic environment. So, as I got married, the thing that I didn't like the least was any type of conflict. Joanna and I would get in when I could sense us disagreeing and we are both passionate.   We have opinions and we believe things and we get into this kind of disagreement and argument. It would freak my system out. And I didn't realize that because I didn't really know my past.   I didn't know what was going on. I would just really do anything to shut it down. I get angry and I try to get loud, or I just walk away in the middle of a conversation.   As Joanna was talking, I would just leave the room and my acting out was just a further manifestation of that kind of leaving the relationship. And so, part of my healing journey was to learn about my story and recognize, oh, OK, I can see what's happening. And what's really interesting is it still happens in our life today.   I've been in recovery for 12 years. I still feel the same things. Now it's more like when my kids are getting involved.   Right. And there's energy in the room and people are online. And then I go, oh, yeah, there it is.   There's my system again. It's starting to feel unsafe. It's starting to feel alone. And I know what it wants to do. It wants to get angry, or it wants to just shut down and walk away. And what's incredible is that we've learned the ability to see where we're at but also speak directly to that.   And so, what I get to do for myself now is I get to go, “OK, I know I'm feeling unsafe and I know I'm feeling alone. And I know I want to get angry to solve it, but it won't do it. But here's the truth. The truth is that I'm safe in God's economy. I'm empowered. I have an incredible partner in my life. I've never been alone. I've always had someone there for me. And Joanna is the perfect example of that.”   And that totally changes my sense of really kind of where I am. And it changes how I show up. I tend to be much more calm.   I ask questions rather than make demands. And it's that ability to kind of see where we're at and shift. That's just been such a game changer for our family and just for our own relationship.   We still have to work on it. You know, it doesn't always look that pretty. Right.   But when we do, it's amazing how different it goes.   Laura Dugger: (46:24 - 46:44) And then I just think of the generational impacts that has when people are willing to do the work. And so, if there's a brave couple out there who wants to seek their own help and healing, can you share where they can go for help, including the Raabsmith team and all that you have to offer?   Matthew Raabsmith: (46:46 - 47:30) Yeah, you know, we would love them to connect with us because I think one of the things we recognize was having guides along the way. I mean, we had to figure a lot out ourselves, but we also had some really incredible guides, some mentors, some coaches, some therapists. And so, we always just say, hey, connect with us.   You can find us at raabsmithteam.com. We have a heart for couples who want restoration and reconciliation because that's what we're getting to live and experience. And what's cool is our whole team, they're couples who've been through this work, but who also have been professionally trained to help other couples to just continue to guide and to grow relationships so that they're thriving and they're kind of giving that life.   Joanna Raabsmith: (47:30 - 48:10) Absolutely. We also love to give out resources. And so, we have the kind of we call it the honest connection.   And so, again, if you're starting this journey or even this is for any couple who wants deeper connection, deeper intimacy, learning how to do that on a daily basis in small ways is so important. And so, we have a worksheet that couples can take and use. We're happy to provide that for them for free and kind of try this for 30 days and notice the changes that you experience in your relationship.   And so, that's a great starting point wherever you are in relationship to begin that journey of connection.   Matthew Raabsmith: (48:10 - 48:14) And you just go to raabsmithteam.com/free and that resource is all yours.   Laura Dugger: (48:15 - 48:26) Wonderful. Add links for that in the show notes for today's episode. And is this then for any couple worldwide, nationwide?   Can you work with people?   Matthew Raabsmith: (48:27 - 48:55) We have we've got couples across the world, which is really fun. It's been really neat just to see the way that God has used our work. One of the things when we first started this journey, we started getting couples calling us saying, “Hey, I don't have anybody in my area that specializes in this, that understands this journey. Can I work with you?” And so, we kind of felt a calling to say we want to make sure that we connect with people wherever they are. And so, absolutely.   If you can hear our voice, you can work with us.   Laura Dugger: (48:55 - 49:14) I love that. And just as a little bonus practical tip, you kind of mentioned being proactive to thriving in marriage. Is there any encouragement that you could share or a specific practical tip that anybody could start to incorporate if they want to take their marriage to that thriving level?   Matthew Raabsmith: (49:15 - 50:12) Yeah, I think just the ability to slow down. We have a  nine, seven and six-year-old. We own our own business, and we like life and life can get incredibly fast.   And I think what we have found is when, as I was mentioning, when I learned the ability just to slow down, even if I don't fully just know myself slowing down and checking in, just where am I at right now? Where's my heart? Right. Where do I want to be?   I think I realize that so often my values and my actions aren't aligned when I'm moving too quickly. I'm not being the person that I want to be. And we see that in so many couples. We meet so many couples and there are two really great people who have a hard time working together. They have a hard time kind of being a team.   And it's usually because they're working so fast. They don't realize they're kind of working against each other. So, slowing down, I think, is such a big thing.   Joanna Raabsmith: (50:12 - 51:18) Another piece that's, again, really easy to start right away. A lot of couples we work with, and I think probably even us when we start a relationship, was there were two individuals in a relationship, and it was kind of either me or you. And starting to understand there's this third thing between you, the relationship. There's a third almost entity that really needs care. It needs nurture. It needs you to focus on its needs from time to time.   And so, beginning to approach the day, even approach conversations with this question of like, what does our relationship need right now? And even as you're trying to make decisions, what is the way we can decide this in a way that's good for our relationship or what decision benefits our relationship rather than does it benefit you or me? Because when you get into that struggle, it can become a competition.   It can become transactional really quickly. So, starting to ask that question, starting to talk about the needs and caring for the relationship very intentionally can be a way to shift that.   Laura Dugger: (51:20 - 51:38) Thank you for sharing that. I think that leads into my last question, because you already know we're called The Savvy Sauce because savvy is synonymous with practical knowledge. And so, as my final question for both of you, Matthew and Joanna, what is your savvy sauce?   Matthew Raabsmith: (51:39 - 52:22) I kind of mentioned this, but I think it's the willingness to be honest. I was so willing to lie to myself and kind of really hide from other people. And I didn't even know that I was doing it.   But as I have learned to be more honest in really kind of healthy ways, right. You can dump, you can whine, you can complain, you can get angry. But truly being honest meant just looking at what I was feeling and trying to kind of figure that out and name that.   As I have learned that ability to be honest with myself and with others, it has just opened up a new world of possibilities. And it has shown me how many people care for me; how much God cares for me. So, I think that honesty is something I just want to practice more and more every day.   Joanna Raabsmith: (52:22 - 53:30) I think for me, just in my own journey and working with so many partners, that importance of being able to make empowered decisions in my life. Right. That I am really intentionally choosing the direction I'm going in life.   Realizing that instead of going into this more helpless, powerless victim stance is such a difference. And really the only thing that changes a lot of times is mindset. You don't have to overhaul your entire life.   Right. You have to add in like four hours of self-care and all of these things. But starting to shift that mindset into, wait, I have power in the decisions I make.   And one of the ways that's really important to do that is growing that self-awareness. I cannot make empowered decisions if I'm not aware of where I'm at emotionally, physically, spiritually. Right.   If I'm not aware of my needs on a regular basis. And so, slowing down to check those things in, sometimes even multiple times in the day if you're not used to that. So, you're more connected to yourself, to what you need, what you want.   So, you can start making those empowered decisions.   Laura Dugger: (53:32 - 54:00) I love that. It's just so enjoyable to host a very lively couple who's humble and you've done your work. And then you're willing to share all this overflow of goodness with all of us.   So, I think my prayer is that the Lord would richly bless you for this open-handed generosity of wisdom and your story and experience that you've shared with us and modeled for us today. So, thank you to both of you for being my guest.   Joanna Raabsmith: (54:00 - 54:03) Thank you so much. It's a joy being here.   Laura Dugger: (54:05 - 57:47) One more thing before you go, have you heard the term gospel before? It simply means good news. And I want to share the best news with you, but it starts with the bad news.   Every single one of us were born sinners, but Christ desires to rescue us from our sin, which is something we cannot do for ourselves. This means there's absolutely no chance we can make it to heaven on our own. So, for you and for me, it means we deserve death, and we can never pay back the sacrifice we owe to be saved.   We need a savior, but God loved us so much. He made a way for his only son to willingly die in our place as the perfect substitute. This gives us hope of life forever in right relationship with him.   That is good news. Jesus lived the perfect life. We could never live and died in our place for our sin.   This was God's plan to make a way to reconcile with us so that God can look at us and see Jesus. We can be covered and justified through the work Jesus finished. If we choose to receive what he has done for us, Romans 10:9 says, “that if you confess with your mouth, Jesus is Lord and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.”   So, you pray with me now. Heavenly father, thank you for sending Jesus to take our place. I pray someone today right now is touched and chooses to turn their life over to you.   Will you clearly guide them and help them take their next step in faith to declare you as Lord of their life? We trust you to work and change lives now for eternity. In Jesus name we pray.   Amen. If you prayed that prayer, you are declaring him for me. So, me for him, you get the opportunity to live your life for him.   And at this podcast, we're called The Savvy Sauce for a reason. We want to give you practical tools to implement the knowledge you have learned. So, you're ready to get started.   First, tell someone, say it out loud, get a Bible. The first day I made this decision, my parents took me to Barnes and Noble and let me choose my own Bible. I selected the Quest NIV Bible and I love it.   You can start by reading the book of John. Also get connected locally, which just means tell someone who's a part of a church in your community that you made a decision to follow Christ. I'm assuming they will be thrilled to talk with you about further steps such as going to church and getting connected to other believers to encourage you.   We want to celebrate with you too. So, feel free to leave a comment for us here. If you did make a decision to follow Christ, we also have show notes included where you can read scripture that describes this process.   And finally, be encouraged. Luke 15:10 says, “in the same way, I tell you, there is rejoicing in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents.” The heavens are praising with you for your decision today.   And if you've already received this good news, I pray you have someone to share it with. You are loved and I look forward to meeting you here next time.

Most business owners think taxes are just the price of success—but they're wrong. In this episode, you'll learn how real entrepreneurs legally wipe out massive tax bills using smart strategies your CPA won't talk about. Discover how to structure your business, plan ahead, and use the tax code to build wealth instead of losing it. This episode breaks down real examples, practical tax tips, and simple ways to save more money every year. Stop writing checks to the IRS and start keeping what you earn. Listen now before another tax season drains your profit.   Next Steps:

I dive into how you can put a stop to the December panic setting and discover what you should actually focus on now to finish the year strong and guilt-free. What You'll Discover In This Episode: ✔ What The December Trap Looks Like ✔ What Creates The Unnecessary Overwhelm & Why ✔ A Simple, Impactful Exercise To Determine What To Focus On ✔ How You Can Easily Release The Guilt That Comes Along With the Holiday Season ✔ The Most Strategic Thing You Can Do This Holiday Season ✔ Actions To Take To Feel Super Accomplished At The End Of The Month ✔ So Much More! To access resources and links from this episode, click on https://AmberDeLaGarza.com/405 P.S. Want to discover what's most holding you back in business and receive a personalized playlist to help you overcome those specific challenges? It only takes a few minutes to take the Next Level Business Owner Quiz and get on the path of taking your leadership and business to the next level!  And… If you want help managing your time, creating efficiency, making a new hire, reducing the stress and overwhelm of running a business, or making strategic decisions that will help you level up your business, I'd like to talk to you. Let's discuss how we can partner together to help you get unstuck, reduce stress, and determine a clear path to increased profits! Schedule your Discovery Call

If the holiday weekend left you feeling a little off-track and disconnected from your routine, this episode is your compassionate guide back to center. It's easy to feel like you've failed or undone your progress after a few days of celebration, but that mindset ends today. Forget the guilt and the all-or-nothing approach. In this episode, you'll discover a gentle path to re-establishing your healthy habits.We'll walk through four simple, actionable steps you can take right now to feel more grounded and in control, including: the #1 nutrient to prioritize at your next meal (hint: you likely have it in your leftovers!),a simple hydration hack, and why skipping meals is the worst thing you can do. You'll also learn three small mindset resets that take less than five minutes but have a massive impact on breaking the cycle of emotional eating.This isn't about a punishing reset;, but rather, a gentle re-entry. Tune in to learn how to support your body and mind, so you can make this the last year you ever have to "get back on track" again.Did you enjoy the episode? DM me on instagram and let me know what you thought.

Are the holidays a source of stress and dread for you? Do you feel boxed in by family obligations? And does the thought of doing things differently feel like it would blow up the whole season? Today Alyson and I dig into the pressure, guilt, and expectations that show up this time of year. We talk about why it's so hard to break old patterns, what drives the “I have to…” mindset, and how to start honoring what you actually want without torching the relationships that matter most.   https://www.thenewmanpodcast.com/2025/11/holiday-stress-guilt   COACHING   → To learn more about coaching with Tripp Lanier visit https://TrippLanier.com → To learn more about working with Alyson Lanier visit https://AlysonLanier.com   BOOK   → We live in a world with more possibilities than ever before. So why do most men settle for lackluster, cookie-cutter lives that leave them feeling stuck, drained, and uninspired? _This Book Will Make You Dangerous_ is a guide for the rare, few men who refuse to sleepwalk through life. → Visit https://TrippLanier.com/book

Welcome! I'm Julianne, a Holistic Transformation Coach.I help people break free from toxic relationship patterns, rebuild self-trust, and reconnect with their body and true self after trauma.On this channel, you'll find practical tools, nervous system support, and honest, faith-aligned insights to help you:Recover from the effects of trauma and toxic relationshipsBreak free from narcissistic abuse cyclesRebuild your identity and strengthen healthy boundariesRelease people-pleasing and self-sabotaging patternsCreate nervous system safety and emotional stabilityReconnect with your body, your voice, and your true selfI post new videos regularly to support your healing journey and help you come home to yourself. Subscribe and turn on notifications to get updated.Survivor to Thriver 80% OFF - https://www.rawmotivations.com/survivorFollow me on Instagram: @rawmotivationsFollow me on TikTok: @rawmotivationsQuestions? Reach out: support@rawmotivations.comStart healing today with my free 5-Day Boundaries Reboot Challenge: https://www.rawmotivationscoaching.com/boundaries

Nathan sits down with Al-Coholic (Freedom Visualizations) to discuss his return home to Australia after visiting the U.S. for a month. The pair get into the impact and comment section of the lads video with Charlie Coks on gun laws in the common wealth, how it feels to be back in Australia, also discussing the feelings of being always in the wrong in the common wealth as a gun owner, the DOJ being cucks over SBRs and defending the NFA in the states, Instagram explore feed policing and much more!Check out PP.TF here:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://pptaskforce.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.instagram.com/pptaskforce.est23/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Check out our Patreon here to support what we do and get insider perks! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠                             ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.patreon.com/CBRNArt⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Check out our sponsors:  Qore Performance Cooling / Heating / Hydration for Plate Carriers and Chest Rigs:For 10% off, use Code: ARTANDWAR10⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.qoreperformance.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Cloud Defensive / Chad Defensive Rifle / EDC Lights:For 10% off site wide, that stacks with any Cloud Defensive sales, use Code: ARTANDWAR10⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://clouddefensive.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Attorneys for Freedom - Attorneys on Retainer Program, sign up via this link to support the show:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://attorneysonretainer.us/artandwar⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠             ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠         ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Use code: ARTANDWAR10 for $10 off an SMU Belt at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AWSin.com⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Check out our link tree for the rest of our stuff:⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://link.space/@CBRNart⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow the lads on IG:     ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Nathan / Main Page: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/cbrnart/?hl=en⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠B.R: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/br.the.anarch⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Lucas: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/heartl1ne/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Phil: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.instagram.com/philmxengland/⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

CC449: Kail and Lindsie dive deep into the often-chaotic reality of parenting, starting with the battle of the lost and found. They share their exasperation over kids constantly losing expensive items, from $65 Nike sweatshirts to water bottles, and how they've implemented "natural consequences" to cope. The conversation then shifts to the difficult logistics of blended families and co-parenting, Thank you to our sponsors!Aura: Visit AuraFrames.com and get $45 off Aura's best-selling Carver Mat frames by using promo code COFFEECONVOSBooking.com: Head over to Booking.com and start your listing today!Branch Basics: Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code Coffee at BranchBasics.com/CoffeeProgressive: Visit Progressive.com to learn more!Rocket Money: Cancel unwanted subscriptions by going to RocketMoney.com/COFFEECONVOSSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.