Let's Make a Unicorn

Video software startup mmhmm's recent round of funding has got us thinking about the next big trend in startups: names that are just noises. Levi has a product that solves all kinds of everyday problems, and it's not scary at all! I mean, why would it be? What a strange thing to ask...

Want VCs to think you're cool? That's easy. Just pretend you read something on Techcrunch! This week, we hone our pretending skills by reading some very fake startup headlines and talking about them. This week, to pretend we know stuff, we used Startup Ipsum (created by Party Round) found at https://startipsum.com/ (and you can too!)

When pitching, you have to be willing to throw out your old startup idea and invent an entirely new one on the spot, sometimes in the same investor meeting! Jonathan puts Levi and special guest Jane Decker through their paces with an improv game involving Snails, Circus Peanuts, a Weed Volcano, and -- just in time for father's day -- entirely too many dad-based product ideas. This week, to make our unicorns, we used the Aesthetic Generator found at https://claireeeep.github.io/generator/ (and you can too!)

Join Jonathan and Levi a for a little ~bRaInStOrM~ as they growth-hack their podcast to fame and fortune. Or at least one of those. Or neither.

Levi has the cure for your streaming service woes. Jonathan puts the compassion in Compassion International. Our shortest episode ever, so listen twice!

Levi and Jonathan interview for the big job. It doesn't go well. Levi pitches his vision for the future of the Creator Economy. It doesn't go well (for creators). Check out @anothercohen on Twitter for A+ tech shitposting.

Hejsan! No new episode this week, so we're spinning up one of our favorites. Levi spends a lot of time in an elevator. Jonathan explores a niche market opportunity with Gnome de Plume. Both of us agree that the White People brand is pretty well fucked.

Jonathan is hacking his way to Gen Z thought-leadership. Levi has the solution for effective content moderation: real-world consequences. Got a pitch for us? Visit unicorn.gripe and click the shiny button!

Friend of the show Jane Decker joins us this week to settle the great debate: who's the best at not laughing?

Happy #dogeday! Levi satisfies the simps so you don't have to. Jonathan was sadly NOT turned down for a job at Coinbase (but he could have been!). Stop making us do all the work! Go to unicorn.gripe and submit your pitch. We'll probably read it live on the podcast. Probably.

Levi unlocks the secrets of becoming a LinkedIn Influencer. Jonathan wants to help you win all your internet arguments. We both agree that Las Vegas is, like, weird, man... Got a pitch for us? Send an email or a voice memo to pitch@unicorncast.com and we'll make you famous* *note: famous not guaranteed, ymmv tbh lol

Jonathan's domain name search leads to a new original character, further expanding the Let's Make a Unicorn Cinematic Universe. Levi wants to spice up your road trips. We share the secret to acquiring half-assed cis-het asshat assets. Share Let's a Make a Unicorn with your friends! Visit www.unicorn.gripe

No new episode this week, but stay tuned next week for an EXCITING ANNOUNCEMENT. In the meantime, enjoy one of our golden oldies. Levi disrupts breakfast. Jonathan revolutionizes the concept of ownership. Together, we despair that our worst ideas are destined to become a reality.

The best thing to do when someone mentions a startup you've never heard of? Confidently pitch their company anyway.

Jonathan takes the hard work out of creating a pitch deck by refusing to create one at all. Inspired by his childhood, Levi invents an unholy butt robot.

Levi has the perfect product for Full Moon Season (tm). Jonathan knows a lot of moms on Instagram. Special guest Jane Decker has recently adopted a dog, and somehow that leads us to a lengthy discussion about porn ads.

Friend-of-the-show Sam from Trala is back for another REAL TALK. In this episode, we ask the question, "Is 'Founder First' a good thing?" Then, we answer it, "No."

So, back on January 1st, 2021, we recorded an episode of Let's Make a Unicorn. Then, the rest of January 2021 happened. So I forgot, okay? I FORGOT. Are you happy now? I forgot we recorded it. Anyway, here it is.

So this episode ended being mostly about SPACs. It's our SPAC episode. SPACisode.

Jonathan wants to bring the r/WallStreetBets experience to everyone. Levi has a culinary revelation. Our newest listener-submitted pitch attracts an unexpected guest.

Hey unicorn fam! (famicorn? unifam?) No new episode this week, so we're bringing back one of our favorites. Jonathan shoots from the hip. Levi revolutionizes digital identity, but then accidentally summons an infamous Startup Founder / Mosquito Demon. We review our first listener-submitted audio pitch and give some pointers (just kidding she's better than us).

Friend-of-the-show Sam from Trala joins us for an unintentionally sleep-themed episode.

Turns out it was all Laurence Fishbourne (and always was). Levi wants you to feel perfectly at home no matter where your travels take you. Jonathan takes the hard work out of functional alcoholism.

Jonathan doesn't have any strong opinions about the Forbes 30 Under 30. None at all! Levi's new startup gives us what we all need most in 2020: the ability to talk shit about other people.

This episode may be short, but what we lack in length we make up for in mirth. Jonathan has a solution for your Thanksgiving leftovers. Levi wants you to wear your mask and eat cake, too. Got a pitch for us? Send an email or a voice memo to LMAUcast@gmail.com or find us on Twitter @LMAUcast.

Jonathan and Levi have GREAT startup ideas.

Jonathan wants to introduce a little chaos into your text messages. A listener-submitted pitch leaves us impressed (and highly uncomfortable). Levi crowdsources the grueling process of freeing up space on your iPhone.

Hey Unicorn Fam! Jonathan is on vacation, so this week we're taking a break from our usual shenanigans to bring you a bonus REALK TALK with friend of the show Justin Boh (hey that rhymes!) about our collective experiences going through startup accelerators (real ones). Less yuk yuks, more serious discussion. Hope you like the change of pace! And if not, don't worry, we'll be back with more terrible startup ideas next week!

Levi is bringing the power of data back to the people. Jonathan finds a way to make Amazon reviews more compelling. Special guest Justin Boh is here to introduce the *premium* voting experience we've all been waiting for.

Jonathan is the king of dad jokes. Levi has a perfect monetization strategy. Our podcast goes off the rails.

Jonathan is unprepared. Levi can't think of any more things that rhyme with "pod." We both agree that we've officially run out of ideas.

Tune in to learn about "The Go On Pumpkin Clause" in employee stock options, hear our pitch for a Being John Malkovich sequel starring Peter Thiel, and learn how VC’s signal to other VC’s that they’re open to "raising around a little."

Levi disrupts breakfast. Jonathan revolutionizes the concept of ownership. Together, we despair that our worst ideas are destined to become a reality.

Jonathan is prepared this time. Levi takes Coachella to the next level. We both experience a sense memory involving Smash Mouth and Creed.

Friend of the show Jane Decker shows up with a whole basket of ideas. Jonathan and Levi have some ideas, too, but they aren't as good. Together, we discover the most likely wake word for a Facebook voice assistant.

Jonathan shoots from the hip. Levi revolutionizes digital identity, but then accidentally summons an infamous Startup Founder / Mosquito Demon. We review our first listener-submitted audio pitch and give some pointers (just kidding she's better than us).

Our podcast is gaining a lot of traction (according to unsolicited sales emails). Jonathan finds inspiration in a domain name. Levi doubles down on the true purpose of mealkits: pretending you're an influencer.

Jonathan makes a big life decision. Levi takes it outside. Together, we transform the future of transportation communication information transformation.

We welcome our first guest, Sam from Trala.com! Levi makes bad reviews a thing of the past. Jonathan has a dumb idea, but Sam makes it better.

Jonathan peers into the dark future of the Doula industry. Levi makes wearing headphones *more* antisocial. We read our first listener-submitted pitch.

Jonathan democratizes bullshit. Levi revolutionizes the cocktail party. We both agree that per diem is wasted on the calm.

Levi spends a lot of time in an elevator. Jonathan explores a niche market opportunity. Both of us agree that the White People brand is pretty well fucked.

Jonathan can't find a domain name. Levi revolutionizes retail. Together, we develop the ultimate technique for engaging VC Associates: Subliminal Elon Musk.

Jonathan forgets to hit record. Levi invents the Leechosystem. Both of us agree that a VC's primary job is to interrupt you.