Life For Experts

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "How to avoid loneliness?” Loneliness is a common experience, and I'm sure most of us have been there. Research shows that 80% of those under 18 years of age and 40% of adults over 65 years of age have been reported to feel lonely at a certain point of time, with levels of loneliness gradually diminishing through the middle adult years and increasing again in old age. I can't even imagine how this number has probably progressed since the pandemic, with many people losing their relatives, friends, or other things that matter to them. Although it's hard to measure loneliness precisely, according to the CDC there is strong evidence that loneliness can produce health risks, especially in elderly people.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "What are the best practices of consuming coffee daily?” Well hello there, my fellow coffee addicts! Welcome to my favorite episode of Life for Experts ever! I drink coffee everyday, and for all of you who have the same habit, coffee has practically become a part of our lives. For us, everything about coffee is good - its taste, its aroma, its stimulant effect, and more others. But believe it or not, a long time ago coffee was once believed to be an inducer of cancer, which made it seen as a bad substance to drink daily.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "Should we invest in property?” Be honest with me and answer this question: how often do your parents advise you to invest in property as soon as possible? For me, the answer is always. The generation X and baby boomers see property as the best way to invest money in, both for the definite increase in long term value and also a sign of success and wealth. The millennials, not as much. With more and more types of investment instruments emerging in this digital age, the situation has offered much simplicity towards the younger generation that makes them slowly shifting away from property as a main choice of investment. Now both sides present valid points.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "How can I stop procrastinating?” Ah, the sweet problem of the modern world. I believe we are all aware of this issue, and how multiple sources and platforms are actually trying to get into the bottom of this. Well, it is true, more and more of us built the tendency to waste our time and procrastinate. According to a study from the University of Calgary, the proportion of us who chronically procrastinate has increased from 5% in 1978 to 26% in 2007. What a huge growth, right? What's worse is that, the younger we are, the more prone we are to this particular trap.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "When should I apologize?” Mistakes are bound to happen. And in every mistake, there is always at least one person to blame. Sorry, let me rephrase. In every mistake, there is always at least one person that causes it. Ideally, finding the root cause is the way to fix a mistake, but in reality, it is not that simple. Since feelings and ego are usually part of the equation, sometimes it is difficult to do so. Previous researchers had focused almost exclusively on the victim's perspective, especially how apologies can trigger good impact for ourselves. However, they barely investigated why apologies can be so hard to make.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "How can I even start forgiving someone?” Despite the fact that forgiveness is an act of giving to another person, the heart of forgiveness is about our own self. Multiple research throughout the course of decades, has also come up with the same conclusion: forgiveness provides vital benefits to our mental and physical wellbeing, such as reduction in stress, depression, and increase in compassion and better yet, increase in immune response. So before we move on to the practical things we can do to start forgiving someone, ensure that you understand how we are not doing it for others, but instead we are doing ourselves a favor. This will echo over and over again over the course of us practicing the act of forgiveness. Hence, knowing that early in the process will shape a strong foundation of willingness, which will help you withstand every step and efforts in habituating forgiveness. And then, after we have had a robust awareness of doing ourselves some good, there are three practical tips that we can do to practice forgiveness, and helping ourselves in getting accustomed to it.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "How can I know if I'm wasting my time?” We all have 24 hours, spend it wisely. That is the popular saying which I believe we have heard at least a couple of times. It is true, though. No one has a special privilege when it comes to time. We all have the same amount and it is up to us how to spend it. That is why I think this episode's question might be one of the ultimate life questions, because what we choose will determine our path in life. And what's interesting is how this particular topic is fundamentally talking about decision making, because how we spend our time is entirely up to the choices we decide. So, how do we decide to do or not do something? How do we eliminate the things that are only wasting our time and doing us any good in life. To me, there are two main indicators that can come to the rescue.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "What kind of friends should I keep in my life?” If you remember, last year I once discussed the amount of friends we should have, which includes taking the approach of identifying the types of friends you need to have in your life. I'd like to see this episode as a continuation of the latter. Last time, mostly we talked about the types of friends. This time, I would like to be more generic and focus on what are the general characteristics of friends that you should be keeping in your life. After all, people come and go, and you will never know who will come next to your life. So, better be prepared and have some filters ready, so you can be prepared to choose the ones that you want to keep in your life.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "How to enjoy the routinity?” Whether you are working in an office, doing freelance work, or starting your own business, there are times when you will be facing something that is called routinity. Ugh, who else just got nauseous hearing this word? Me too. But, routinity is a constant in life, it will always be a part of our life one way or another. Don't get me wrong, routines are not a bad thing and I'm not against it. In fact, research has consistently shown that routines can play an important role in mental health. One study even found that routines could help people better manage stress and anxiety. Therefore, having a routine is fundamentally good, and there is no need to change that as long as it doesn't bring any negative impact towards you and what you do. But yes, I do agree that at some point routinity can really kill our spirit, and it's hard to stay motivated when this happens. When this happens, then that routinity is already on its way to bringing some negative impacts towards you. Hence, it is time to put in some work on coping with it.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "How can I better understand people?” Humans are smart creatures, do you agree with me? Our brain capacity is massive and we are blessed to be better equipped than most animals. We created civilizations, infrastructures, and orders in life such as law, ethics, culture, etc. Though we seem to have a lot of advantages on our side, everything always has its own disadvantages. Humans are increasingly becoming more and more complex, that it sparks a question of identity. Our freewill makes it easier for us to choose what kind of person we want to be, just through our choices and desires. Hence, there comes the popular saying of "everybody wears a mask", because indeed, we do. And it specifically presents a challenge in our social life, since it is hard to really understand a person for who they really are. So, is it a lost cause? Or is there still something we can do to truly understand people? Well, there are certainly some things that we can do.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "Are there any tips for better eye health?” Having a clear vision of things is surely something we desire. But just like a vehicle that we use every single day and every single minute that we are awake, it is easy to wear this organ out if it's not being maintained properly. Especially during this pandemic situation where we are all working from home. Realize it or not, for most of us this situation has increased our screen time, simply because of the limitation of outdoor activities that has simultaneously increase our digital activities. But luckily, this is a pretty well-acknowledged issue, not just now but even before the pandemic. That is why, you can easily type in on a search engine and find lots of ways to improve your eye health. At the same time, that makes it harder to find out which one is working for each of us. I, too, was struggling with the same issue. I have tried almost every practical tips to improve my eye health, until I came to a realization that it is actually not that complicated. Basically, all of these tips are pointing towards a few main ideas, and that is what I want to share with you right now.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "Do we really have time to listen to other people's opinions?” We have heard a lot of this: you are the owner of your life. People should not dictate your life. It's all up to you, live your life the way you want it to be! But hey, we are still living on earth, within a society. At times, our lives actually depend on other people. Like it or not, other people play a role in shaping our life path. In certain situations, the situation is much more serious that we wouldn't have survived without the interventions from other people. So, is it really true that we control our own lives? Is it true that we should not have to worry about other people and what they have to say?

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "Can I ask my parents to be less involved?” Let's face it, no matter how old and independent we are, parents will always see us as their child who knows less than them and needs to be protected. In most circumstances, they want to be involved in our life. And it is becoming more and more common. A study by Fingerman in 2017 shows that parents are considerably more involved with their grown children aged 18–34 than it was the case 40 years ago. Moreover, parents engage in more frequent contact, give more support, and are more likely to live with a grown child.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "How can I tell my mind to be quiet?” Are you one of those people who has an active brain that is always in thinking mode? Have you ever felt like you can always hear your mind talking, even though it doesn't have its own ear? Yes, it is a real problem, and I can say that because I'm a living proof. I am not proud of the fact that I have wasted tremendous time overthinking a situation or decision, and I think you can agree that is not a good feeling to have. Overthinking is uncomfortable; but moreover, it can be a serious problem when it's ignored. Besides the inability to have a quiet mind, overthinking has been proven to also produce some other negative effects, and it is all backed by multiple scientific research. But, like everything else, there is always a solution.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "How to account for everybody in making a decision?" Whether it be at work meetings or when you are planning a travel itinerary with friends, life occasionally presents situations when we need to make decisions. Depending on the circumstances, making decisions can be easy, but it can also be a head scratcher. Now even decisions that we need to make for ourselves are already hard enough, ranging from what clothes to wear, into deciding whether it is time to have a baby or not. So how about a decision that we need to make as a group? Of course, it is a lot trickier.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is “How to avoid having unhealthy assumptions towards others?” Before we go on to the discussion, I would like to call out the fact that the word assumptions are widely deemed to have a negative stigma that comes with it. So, does it really? No, I don't think so. Assumptions are normal - in some way, it can be seen as one of humans survival mechanisms. For humans, knowledge is power. Assumptions happen during a lack of knowledge, simply our body's mechanism to create the illusion of power. So, assumptions are good. Unhealthy assumptions, are not. When our assumptions bring a mostly negative impact to our lives, or get in the way of a good relationship, then it might be a good time to make a change. After all, assumptions are supposed to help you survive, not killing you instead.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is “Do I have enough friends already?”. Have you ever wondered whether you have made enough friends in your life? Or do you wonder if you could have been more easygoing and sociable? As we know, humans are social creatures. But then this fact raises an important question among us humans: exactly how social are we talking about here? Well, before we discuss this question further, it is important to acknowledge that enough is almost always relative. You can have 1000 friends and still feel like you don't have anyone. Same goes for the opposite. Apparently, we were doing this all wrong.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "Am I too much of a pushover?" Okay, let me guess. The term "pushover" might be quite new in your ear, right? Me too. I'm not even sure that there is a literal translation of pushover in other languages. So yes, I think it's fair to say that most people are still unaware of the trait "pushover". But I think once we are aware of the term and what it represents, we have to admit that this is a common trait in the society that needs our attention. Now what's the closest word associated with the term pushover in our current society, even though it doesn't always mean the same? Kindness. What's alarming is that we tend to draw a thin line between being kind and being a pushover.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "Should I try to find a new job?" Wow, this is a tricky one. And one of the most influential. Work is an integral part of our life. On average, we spend one third of our time working. For entrepreneurs, work is practically their life, since there are no time boundaries unlike the usual corporate workers. However, despite its lesser commitment, the complaints about work actually comes more from corporate workers. Why is that?

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "How can I take better photos?" Okay, not exactly a universally life mystery. But just like a few episodes ago where we talked about writing skill, photography skills are also one of those nice to have practical skills in life. It may not make a difference in your career success as a whole, but it can surely step up your game in life. Imagine having the ability to take great pictures when travelling, or being able to create a high quality documentary whether it be in social media or blogs and websites. Photography might seem simple on the surface, but the truth is it is a lot more complex and trickier if you want to learn the advanced techniques. However, it doesn't necessarily mean that we need to go into that depth in order to build our photography skills.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "How can I boost my energy?" But before that, actually the real question is "Why is it challenging to boost energy?" And that is because, despite the popular belief and logic, energy level is not an exact metric. You can be well rested, eat a lot, and feel like you have saved up a lot of energy, but still feeling tired anyway. And so the formula between people is also different. There are certain levers that are proven to be working well in boosting energy levels, but the equation and the level of impact might be different for each one of us. Therefore, it is great to know about them, and find the ones that can actually work for us.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "What is the polite way of telling someone to shut up?" Have you ever been in a conversation where you are not sure whether you are even needed in? Or have you ever been in a group conversation and a certain someone just can't seem to keep their mouth shut? Talkative people can penetrate themselves well into a social conversation, but it is actually a double-edged sword. Whether we realize it or not, the more we become close to someone the less is our tolerance for the person's bickering. And that is natural - when we already know someone well, normally we no longer need the small talks and light topics, that we are now expecting higher quality of conversation that is in a state of balanced give and take. A social relationship is doomed when it leans heavier towards either giving or taking, because no matter we like it or not, humans are fundamentally transactional.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "How to get rid of headaches?" Okay, I will be completely honest with you before we start. I, too, am still struggling with this. I am not that lucky as a person, that I was born with a tendency towards developing headaches from time to time. If you are anything like me, this condition has surely caused you a lot of troubles, repeatedly. And as someone who is particularly weak in the head, we try our best to cope with the situation and work into diminishing the pain and inconvenience. But unfortunately, sometimes there is no one size fits all when it comes to solving headaches. The condition itself is so complex and uncertain, and not to mention the different styles and magnitudes that comes with it.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "How do I start exercising more?" I believe everyone knows how important exercise is for our health. Social media and news platforms are all about it. And I do believe that people want to start exercising, if it's not that hard to start. Everything, not just exercising, needs extra effort to start at the beginning. But exercise is specifically harder to some people, simply because it deals with your body physically, stretches it and sends it out of its comfort zone. Although researchers have found that exercise can make you happy, due to the presence of "athlete's high" that you get after a release of endorphin post-exercising, it all comes with a price. Now, even after we have encouraged ourselves to start exercising, another challenge comes up. How do we maintain the drive and keep on doing it regularly?

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "Am I productive enough?" Well, what is productivity? Productivity is defined by Oxford as the rate at which a worker, a company, or a country produces goods, and the amount produced, compared with how much time, work, and money is needed to produce them. The use of the term "productivity" started accelerating post 1900s, most likely due to a revolution in industry. But nowadays, productivity has become a universal language. It is no longer applicable to industry only. No matter where you work, or in what sector of expertise, productivity is occasionally held against us, whether by others or by ourselves. This stems from the universal belief that productivity shows how effective we are, and the fast paced world loves highly effective people.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "Should I be more friendly?" Yes, sometimes we question ourselves whether we can be more friendly or not. That is the fact. It is a simple act of caring about what other people think about us. In a world where kindness and unity are seen as ideal, each one of us is expected to be nice and friendly towards one another. However, as we may have known by now, characters are built and developed from different blocks in life, which are all unique to every single human being. Friendliness is not a single character, but it is rather a sense that other people feel when we demonstrate multiple complementary characters.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "How can I improve my writing skill?" I know, our topic in this episode deviates a little from the topics we usually talk about. But hey, despite the fact that soft skills are the more glorified one, hard skills are also just as important to help you succeed in life. So does writing skill. There are a lot of things that one needs to learn in theory when we are talking about honing our writing skill. Among those things, a few of them are essential regardless of your field of work and expertise. Now writing, just like other skills in the world, comes with a spectrum of mastery.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is "Do I talk too much?" Chances are, at this point, you already see some signs within you that may imply the presence of too much talking behavior. However, you wonder whether it is something valid, or just a feeling. Fact is, it can be hard to know for sure. The ideal way to really know is, of course, to hear it right from the source, which is other people's opinion. I know I talked a lot in previous times about not letting other people's opinion dictate your life. But in the case of validating an overly talkative behavior, we can't deny that this situation mostly affects the way people see you and not the way you see yourself. We are now talking about keeping harmony in our social life. And that's why, people's opinion plays an important role in being the source of truth.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is “Do people think I'm childish?" Imagine having someone called you childish right in your face. That must not feel good, right? Some people find this label very annoying, since it is not just an attack to our direct personality but it might also feel degrading at the same time. When someone calls you childish, they are basically saying that you are not at the same level as them. You are lower. Not always true, but at least that is how it makes us feel. But, as we probably have heard several times now, who you are is not defined by other people. So, just because people assume that you're childish doesn't mean that you actually have a kid-like personality. Sometimes, it is just the small things or habits that you do.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is “Is it okay if I'm not interested in dating?" A question that haunts the single population of the world. In general, there are two types of single people. The first type consists of people who are single because they haven't found a good match yet, while the second type consists of people who are single because they are not looking. Now, if you have ever wondered why you don't have any interest in dating as much as everybody else, then you probably belong to the second group. And while initially it doesn't seem like a problem for you, doubts start to rise as you get older and your friends are slowly moving to a new phase of life, where they are finally ready for commitment in a long term relationship.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is “What is the right way to read food packaging?”. This one might not be one of the most popular questions out there, but it sure is a good thing to know to help us be more mindful of what we eat and ensure a great diet. My whole life, I have been very passionate about food. Well, not in the “I can eat anything” kind of way, although, sometimes it is. But, more in the “I want to understand how food is made and the impact towards human nutrition” kind of way. However, most people haven't realized that food literacy and safety measures are not just for the passionate ones like me. It is for everyone. Everyone needs to know what they are putting into their body, and work towards avoiding consuming something that may bear a bad impact on our bodies.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is “Am I too independent?”. Yes, we've all been there. We all have probably questioned our dependency towards other people. Am I too independent, or am I too dependent? We are social creatures. We rely on interaction with other people, in fact, our lives actually depend on it. But just like any other manners, there are two possible extremities that come with it: whether it's too much, or it's too little.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is “How can I be more optimistic?”. One of the ultimate questions out there. As we are all aware, everything in this world has its pros and cons. It is not a perfect world after all. We call someone an optimist, if their default way of thinking makes them see every situation or event for the pros before the cons. While for pessimists, it is simply the opposite. There is this long held belief in the society that puts optimists as better than pessimists, primarily because they are strongly associated with contentment and gratefulness considering they tend to focus more on the good side of things. However, before asking yourself how to be more optimistic, I want you to firstly make sure that you are not actually buying this belief, and trying to change yourself to be more optimistic just because of this.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is “Is clean eating important for our health?”. As we move rapidly into a new era where digital literacy and fluency grows exponentially, humans are given the easy access to a plethora of information from all over the world. All accessible in just one click. So far, we have been reaping a lot of benefits that come with this wonderful advancement, one that is characterized by the development of “smart” society with strong consciousness about life. And sure enough, without us noticing, it is impacting multiple aspects of human life. Health is one of them. People nowadays put a lot more effort in keeping themselves healthy and actively implementing new diet habits for better health. Clean eating is one of them, and it is a popular one.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is “Why is it impossible to break the ice with him?”. It's safe to say that all of us might have experienced a situation of social awkwardness. Whether it was at a friend's work party with no one we know, or a baby shower with plenty of new parents except you, we have been in a situation where we just simply feel that we don't belong. It's not like we didn't try - we tried to start up a conversation and perhaps try to make some friends, but somehow we can barely get past the awkwardness, let alone breaking the ice. It just didn't click. And then, we ended up hiding in the corner while eagerly looking forward to the end of the party. Well, in this episode, let's figure out how we can tackle this kind of situation and prevent it from going the same way as how it used to go.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is “How much money should I spare for shopping?”. A pretty unique topic, huh? I do understand that not everyone is keen in answering this, simply because not all people like shopping. But just like any other activity, shopping can be a priority for some people, and barely a thing for some. Today's episode is specifically made to help you who belong to the former type.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is “Why do people get offended with my jokes?”. Well, if you have a similar sense of humor as me, this question has probably popped in your mind several times now. At first, I thought it was because of my sarcasm. We can't deny the fact that sarcasm is not well received by all people, and some even dislike hanging out with sarcastic people. But what I actually found is that when we are talking about sarcasm, we are talking about something that is more than just a habit; it is a character. And just like any other human character, eventually people get used to it, assuming that the relationship with that particular person gets stronger and deeper over time. So what makes offensive jokes?

The question I would like to discuss with you today is “Why is there a person as mean as him?”. This one is a tough one to answer, since as we all probably know, it is pretty difficult to isolate a single factor that causes the development of a spiteful behavior towards other people. In other words, answering this question is a bit like digging up a time capsule that has been hidden from decades ago in the ground. You have to do it one scoop at a time consistently to unveil every layer beneath it. Here are the multiple layers that you need to unveil, to finally discover the reason why someone acts in a certain behavior. And after that, perhaps, make some changes.

The question I would like to discuss with you today is “Is the act of giving that important?”. Well, by this point, I think all of us have witnessed how the act of giving comes naturally to a certain group of people. Basically, they like giving. However, it might not come as naturally to some people. Those who belong to the latter probably ask this question more often than the others. I am here to tell you that it is perfectly normal to ask this question to yourself.