Peace Be With You

Non-faith-based versions of Social Justice, versions that advocate identity politics and victimhood, tend to promote division and conflict. Instead of focusing on collaboration, consensus, and unity — they focus on differences.

Creative storytelling used to protect self-image differs from lies intended to take advantage of others. Lies that sweeten the conflict narrative and Save Face differ from intentionally destructive lies. Peacemakers must discern the difference.

In this episode, I want to point out a common trap that awaits peacemakers: Sympathy is often equated with empathy. When peacemakers fail to discern the difference between sympathy and empathy, they get into trouble.

When peacemakers reconcile relationships they deliver a bonus — people better understand Life. This is especially true when a person’s relationship with God is reconciled. When a loving relationship with God is restored, people gain an ability to see reality at the deepest level possible.

As a practical matter, love precedes knowledge. Love comes first. When love is absent, knowledge is absent. At first, this idea may seem strange. Ordinarily, we do not consider that we must first to love something in order to know it. Let’s reflect on how that might be.

We must seek a dynamic and operational definition of sin, a definition that integrates with peacemaking. What does that mean? As peacemakers, we seek a definition of sin that focuses on relationship. Sin ends when divine love is brought back into a relationship. People do not cease sinning because they know the rules better. They stop sinning because they want to love more.

One way we avoid threatening Face is by using “I” messages. These messages describe how a situation or event made you feel. They are your personal, interior accounts of the conflict. Ordinarily, you would make statements that seem to accuse the other person. You might say, “you did this or you did that.” But, now, with an “I” message, you replace the words “you did” with “I felt.”

Peacemakers probably do not anticipate being called upon to be detectives, but Destructive Hidden Influences make this necessary. Peacemakers must become sleuths in the tradition of Columbo, the television detective.

How does a peacemaker know a Destructive Hidden Influence is at work? Evidence is found in the irrational or illogical fears expressed by parties. Evidence is found in the distrust that lingers when it should have dissipated. Evidence lies in the damaged relationship that is unusually difficult to heal. Fear, distrust, and hostility are signs of a Destructive Hidden Influence.

In the previous episode, I introduced Destructive Hidden Influences, covert agents that foster fear and distrust. The prototype was the Serpent, also known as the Deceiver, introduced in Genesis. In this episode I will explore how the Destructive Hidden Influence — the most significant barrier to resolving conflict.

The first instance of a Destructive Hidden Influence, the prototype we call the Serpent, appears in Genesis. The passage describes the primary source of all conflict. In this mystical lesson we discover what we might call Original Deception. The Serpent models the paradigm of a Destructive Hidden Influence — a covert deceiver who wrecks relationships.

All too often we do not know how to craft a valid apology. We’re not certain what we should say. An effective apology addresses the primary concern of the wronged party — assurance that “this will not happen again.”

If I believe I am the Flesh Body and I believe in an After Life, then the Flesh Body must be resurrected. But the belief that the Flesh Body is resurrected is false, incorrect, a widespread faulty belief.

As we study and reflect on scripture, we discover a duality between Flesh Body and Immortal Soul or Spirit. They are not the same thing. The Flesh Body is perishable. It is transitory. Its existence is fleeting. In contrast, an immortal soul — who we are as Divine Self — does not perish. We enjoy eternal life.

There are times when we fully expect to be something or do something or have something — then, when we are denied what we want, we’re ready to fight, ready to go into battle. Disappointed expectations drive us into conflict.

When we create our inner story, we blame our trespasses on situations, on other people, or even on God. We protect our self-image. When another person crosses the line, we attribute their behavior to bad character, nasty disposition, or evil motives. When we mediate, we uncover missing information and redraft our narrative without false attributions.

Peacemakers must become skilled in giving this gift of Divine Face. They will want to turn to the example of Francis who spent the entire night in prayer before he traveled to meet the besieged people of Gubbio, where he tamed the fierce wolf with his prayerful presence.

In Matthew 18:15 we read: “If your brother sins (against you), go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have won over your brother.” This passage advises us to take a conciliatory approach.

The bishops meet again next month to reflect further on the path forward beyond the scandals destroying trust in the Catholic Church. With that in mind, I would like to offer the following suggestion for their consideration.

Immortal souls immersed in Divine Love are drawn into divine relationship. And, ultimately, this unity of “Being-In-Love” is what makes peacemaking possible.

In a faith-based approach, we expand the collaboration model. We not only seek to satisfy our interests and the interests of the other party, we also seek to satisfy God’s interests — typically referred to as “the Will of God.”

All conflict is the result of one False Self becoming entangled in opposition to another False Self. Each False Self is comprised of ego traits and swirling clouds of intentions desires. There is one way to de-escalate conflict: Vanish the clusters of False Self traits. Peace arrives after we scrub away ego personality.

Peacemakers encounter a clash of two primary worldviews: The dominant secular culture advances Materialism. The other worldview, a spiritual worldview, rests on the philosophy of Idealism.

Large institutions, such as universities, typically employ ombudspersons. But the Catholic Church lacks such a program.

At Christmas we celebrate not only the birth of the baby Jesus, but also a major supernatural event — the Incarnation. Caught up in celebrating the birth, we forget to reflect on the Incarnation, on the idea expressed in John 1:14, “And the Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us…”

Peacemakers must offset destructive Catholic tribalism by promoting widespread catechism in Benedict XVI's theology of relationship.

The False Self brings about habitual responses to conflict. Thus, for us to reconcile we must strip away the False Self, a cluster of destructive ego traits.

All conflicts are the result of two or more False Selves becoming entangled in opposing intentions. The False Self is a cluster of ego traits that do not reflect divine nature. In spiritual direction we sculpt away the layers of false self that taint our interests.

When you find yourself managing a conflict, slow up and ask the question — what do people really want? What interest are they really trying to satisfy? Do I really know what they want?

Spiritual direction, an ancient tradition, focuses on reconciling relationships with God. Catholic spiritual direction seeks to bring about mystical union with Christ.

Pastoral counseling clears away personal emotional, mental, and spiritual barriers to reconciliation. Pastoral counselors see man as an immortal soul, In order to serve the faithful, the Catholic Church must greatly expand its delivery of pastoral counseling.

In faith-based mediation, when a person reconciles with God, their human relationships improve. When a person reconciles human relationships, their relationship with God improves. Secular models, however, dismiss the fundamental relationship between Man and God. 

Mediation is the art of restoring harmony in the presence of the Holy Spirit. It is a practice found in the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 18:15-18.

The Assisi Option addresses the clash between people of faith and a secular culture. It calls for the creation of spiritual direction…

People hunger for peace but they are surrounded by conflict and suffering. In response, Peace Be With You explores…