Podtrificus Totalus

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Podtrificus Totalus is a Harry Potter read-along podcast done by two fans, Cassie and Joe. For each episode, we read and discuss a chapter from the books, making our way through J.K. Rowling's beloved saga. We welcome readers new and old to join us on our journey!

Podtrificus Totalus


    • May 31, 2021 LATEST EPISODE
    • every other week NEW EPISODES
    • 1h 1m AVG DURATION
    • 50 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from Podtrificus Totalus

    3.15 The Quidditch Final

    Play Episode Listen Later May 31, 2021 48:13


    If only there had been a Dementor around... As a sobbing Wood passed Harry the Cup, as he lifted it into the air, Harry felt he could have produced the world's best Patronus.

    3.14 Snape’s Grudge

    Play Episode Listen Later May 17, 2021 93:33


    Don't expect me to cover up for you again, Harry. I cannot make you take Sirius Black seriously. But I would have thought that what you have heard when the Dementors draw near you would have had more of an effect on you. Your parents gave their lives to keep you alive, Harry. A poor way to repay them — gambling their sacrifice for a bag of magic tricks.

    3.13 Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw

    Play Episode Listen Later May 10, 2021 53:30


    A low and cowardly attempt to sabotage the Gryffindor Seeker! Detention for all of you, and fifty points from Slytherin! I shall be speaking to Professor Dumbledore about this, make no mistake!

    3.12 The Patronus

    Play Episode Listen Later May 3, 2021 104:25


    He felt drained and strangely empty, even though he was so full of chocolate. Terrible though it was to hear his parents' last moments replayed inside his head, these were the only times Harry heard their voices since he was a very small child. But he'd never be able to produce a proper Patronus if he half wanted to hear his parents again...

    3.11 The Firebolt

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 19, 2021 57:55


    Think that matters to them? They don' care. Long as they've got a couple o' hundred humans stuck there with 'em, so they can leech all the happiness out of 'em, they don' give a damn who's guilty an' who's not.

    3.10 The Marauder’s Map

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 12, 2021 86:37


    I certainly believe his master's defeat unhinged him for a while. The murder of Pettigrew and all those Muggles was the action of a cornered and desperate man -- cruel... pointless.

    3.9 Grim Defeat

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 5, 2021 54:57


    At least a hundred Dementors, their hidden faces pointing up at him, were standing below. It was as though freezing water was rising in his chest, cutting at his insides. And then he heard it again... someone was screaming, screaming inside his head... a woman...

    3.8 Flight of the Fat Lady

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 22, 2021 63:05


    Professor Lupin looked cheerful and as well as he ever did; he was talking animatedly to tiny little Professor Flitwick, the Charms teacher. Harry moved his eyes along the table, to the place where Snape sat. Was he imagining it, or were Snape's eyes flickering towards Lupin more often than was natural?

    3.7 The Boggart in the Wardrobe

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2021 61:24


    A few curious looks were exchanged as the class put away their books. They had never had a practical Defense Against the Dark Arts before, unless you counted the memorable class last year when their old teacher had brought a cageful of pixies to class and set them loose.

    3.6 Talons and Tea Leaves

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 8, 2021 89:00


    They see the Grim and die of fright. The Grim's not an omen, it's the cause of death! And Harry's still with us because he's not stupid enough to see one and think, right, well, I'd better pop my clogs then!

    3.5 The Dementor

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 1, 2021 114:56


    An intense cold swept over them all. Harry felt his own breath catch in his chest. The cold went deeper than his skin. It was inside his very heart...

    3.4 The Leaky Cauldron

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 22, 2021 77:54


    When I think what could have happened to him the night he ran away from home! If the Knight Bus hadn't picked him up, I'm prepared to bet he would have been dead before the Ministry found him.

    3.3 The Knight Bus

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 15, 2021 38:07


    Black is mad. He's a danger to anyone who crosses him, magic or Muggle.

    3.2 Aunt Marge’s Big Mistake

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 8, 2021 82:30


    "Knocking the stuffing out of me won't make Aunt Marge forget what I could tell her," he said grimly.

    3.1 Owl Post

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 1, 2021 69:16


    Extremely unusual though he was, at that moment Harry Potter felt just like everyone else: glad, for the first time in his life, that it was his birthday.

    2.18 Dobby’s Reward

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 29, 2020 86:26


    "Exactly," said Dumbledore, beaming once more. "Which makes you very different from Tom Riddle. It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."

    2.17 The Heir of Slytherin

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 22, 2020 70:15


    An extraordinary lightness seemed to spread through his whole body and the next second, in a rush of wings, they were flying upward through the pipe. Harry could hear Lockhart dangling below him, saying "Amazing! Amazing! This is just like magic!"

    2.16 The Chamber of Secrets

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 15, 2020 69:18


    "The adventure ends here, boys!" he said. "I shall take a bit of this skin back up to the school, tell them I was too late to save the girl, and that you two tragically lost your minds at the sight of her mangled body -- say goodbye to your memories!"

    2.15 Aragog

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 8, 2020 57:42


    He couldn't see what else they could do. They had hit dead ends everywhere. Riddle had caught the wrong person, the Heir of Slytherin had got off, and no one could tell whether it was the same person, or a different one, who had opened the Chamber this time. There was nobody else to ask.

    2.14 Cornelius Fudge

    Play Episode Listen Later May 25, 2020 55:06


    You will find that I will only truly have left this school when none here are loyal to me. You will also find that help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it.

    2.13 The Very Secret Diary

    Play Episode Listen Later May 18, 2020 45:15


    A story was given out that the girl had died in a freak accident. They gave me a nice, shiny, engraved trophy for my trouble and warned me to keep my mouth shut. But I knew it could happen again. The monster lived on, and the one who had the power to release it was not imprisoned.

    2.12 The Polyjuice Potion

    Play Episode Listen Later May 11, 2020 70:20


    And Father won't tell me anything about the last time the Chamber was opened either. Of course, it was fifty years ago, so it was before his time, but he knows all about it, and he says that it was all kept quiet and it'll look suspicious if I know too much about it. But I know one thing--last time the Chamber of Secrets was opened, a Mudblood died. So I bet it's a matter of time before one of them's killed this time... I hope it's Granger.

    2.11 The Dueling Club

    Play Episode Listen Later May 4, 2020 108:48


    "You'll find that hard to prove," said Hermione. "He lived about a thousand years ago; for all we know, you could be."

    2.10 The Rogue Bludger

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 27, 2020 63:11


    Get to that Snitch before Malfoy or die trying, Harry, because we've got to win today, we've got to.

    2.9 The Writing on the Wall

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 20, 2020 93:41


    Harry had never told Ron and Hermione that the Sorting Hat had seriously considered putting him in Slytherin. He could remember, as though it was yesterday, the small voice that had spoken in his ear when he'd placed the hat on his head a year before: You could be great, you know, it's all here in your head, and Slytherin would help you on the way to greatness, no doubt about that...

    2.8 The Deathday Party

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 13, 2020 78:39


    D'you think I don't know what people call me behind my back? Fat Myrtle! Ugly Myrtle! Miserable, moaning, moping Myrtle!

    2.7 Mudbloods and Murmurs

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 6, 2020 69:28


    "It's about the most insulting thing he could think of," gasped Ron, coming back up. "Mudblood's a really foul name for someone who is Muggle-born--you know, non-magic parents. There are some wizards--like Malfoy's family--who think they're better than everyone else because they're what people call pure-blood."

    2.6 Gilderoy Lockhart

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 30, 2020 59:56


    "Why," demanded Ron, seizing her schedule, "have you outlined all Lockhart's lessons in little hearts?"

    2.5 The Whomping Willow

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 23, 2020 74:23


    Harry could feel the seat vibrating beneath him, hear the engine, feel his hands on his knees and his glasses on his nose, but for all he could see, he had become a pair of eyeballs, floating a few feet above the ground in a dingy street full of parked cars.

    2.4 At Flourish and Blotts

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 16, 2020 57:45


    Caution: Do Not Touch. Cursed — Has Claimed the Lives of Nineteen Muggle Owners to Date.

    2.3 The Burrow

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 9, 2020 70:57


    Beds empty! No note! Car gone -- could have crashed -- out of my mind with worry -- did you care? -- never, as long as I've lived -- you wait until your father gets home, we never had trouble like this from Bill or Charlie or Percy --

    2.2 Dobby’s Warning

    Play Episode Listen Later Mar 2, 2020 36:24


    Harry Potter is valiant and bold! He has braved so many dangers already! Dobby has come to protect Harry Potter, to warn him, even if he does have to shut his ears in the oven door later...

    2.1 The Worst Birthday

    Play Episode Listen Later Feb 24, 2020 43:54


    More than anything else at Hogwarts, more even than playing Quidditch, Harry missed his best friends, Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.

    1.17 The Man with Two Faces

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 2, 2019 77:46


    After all, to the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.

    1.16 Through the Trapdoor

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2019 59:10


    There is no good and evil, there is only power, and those too weak to seek it.

    1.15 The Forbidden Forest

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 10, 2019 52:30


    In this episode, we ask ourselves the perennial question: Is J.K. Rowling racist?

    1.14 Norbert the Norwegian Ridgeback

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 3, 2019 35:09


    Rubeus Hagrid has left the library.

    1.13 Nicolas Flamel

    Play Episode Listen Later May 27, 2019 36:03


    Chess was the only thing Hermione ever lost at, something Harry and Ron thought was very good for her.

    1.12 The Mirror of Erised

    Play Episode Listen Later May 20, 2019 59:26


    It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live, remember that.

    1.11 Quidditch

    Play Episode Listen Later May 13, 2019 48:31


    "Harry, you need your strength," said Seamus Finnigan. "Seekers are always the ones who get clobbered by the other team."

    seekers seamus finnigan
    1.10 Halloween

    Play Episode Listen Later May 6, 2019 56:05


    There are some things you can't share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them.

    1.09 The Midnight Duel

    Play Episode Listen Later Apr 29, 2019 47:24


    Draco, hot, invites Harry to meet him in the castle at night. For strictly violent reasons. This is not a date.

    1.08 The Potions Master

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2017 27:45


    Snape shows up and Harry is all "why are you so obsessed with me?"

    1.07 The Sorting Hat

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 13, 2017 39:57


    Sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort. He said me haffi sort, sort, sort, sort, sort, sort.

    1.06 The Journey from Platform Nine and Three-Quarters

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 31, 2017 41:11


    You two had better change, you know, I expect we'll be there soon.

    1.05 Diagon Alley

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 25, 2017 54:03


    Father says it's a crime if I'm not picked to play for my House, and I must say, I agree.

    1.04 The Keeper of the Keys

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2017 39:39


    Hagrid looked at Harry with warmth and respect blazing in his eyes, but Harry, instead of feeling pleased and proud, felt quite sure there had been a horrible mistake.

    1.03 The Letters From No One

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 10, 2017 30:26


    Harry picked it up and stared at it, his heart twanging like a giant elastic band. No one, ever, in his whole life, had written to him.

    1.02 The Vanishing Glass

    Play Episode Listen Later Jul 3, 2017 30:53


    Harry was used to spiders, because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them, and that was where he slept.

    1.01 The Boy Who Lived

    Play Episode Listen Later Jun 26, 2017 48:22


    Famous before he can walk and talk! Famous for something he won't even remember! Can't you see how much better off he'll be, growing up away from all that until he's ready to take it?

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