The Pun Jab

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Your daily joke injection! More gags in 60 seconds than anywhere else - guaranteed! And it's only a minute long! We just hope that some of the jokes put a smile on a few faces out there - so please share and send to a friend who might need cheering up. And don't worry - unless clearly specified, PJ will always keep it clean (-ish.. ). ps, We're always happy to attribute jokes should the author drop us a line.

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    • Dec 30, 2020 LATEST EPISODE
    • infrequent NEW EPISODES
    • 1m AVG DURATION
    • 129 EPISODES


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    Latest episodes from The Pun Jab

    See you all in 2021!

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 30, 2020 3:11


    At 129, it's high time for the Pun Jab to call it a day - at least for now! So here are a final 6 puns, gags and jokes - followed by a short message from me at the end). Have a great New Year and see you all in 2021!

    High 5!

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 9, 2020 1:16


    Dads, drugs and autobiographies are the big take from the Pun Jab number 128!

    Dinner with Kasparov

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 7, 2020 1:16


    PJ hits 127 with puns, gags and jokes on telekinesis, facelifts, crosswords and more!

    Took a lot of balls!

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 4, 2020 1:10


    The Pun Jab reaches 126 with puns, gags and jokes on ties, nuisance callers, crosswords and more!

    Eurostar.. ?

    Play Episode Listen Later Dec 2, 2020 1:14


    Yes, it's 125-up for The Pun Jab with puns, gags and jokes on adultery, porno, Paris and more!

    Chatting up Usain Bolt

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 30, 2020 1:13


    The Pun Jab reaches #124 with jokes, puns and gags on autocorrect, limbo, war crimes and more!

    Secret to eternal life...

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 27, 2020 1:12


    PJ #123 wraps up another week with puns, gags and jokes on pirates, darts and eternal life! A slice of apple pie is $2.50 in Jamaica and $3 in the Bahamas. Yes, those are the pie rates of the Caribbean. What did the Police officer say to his belly button? You're under a vest. My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with being a news anchor. But more on this after the break... Nearest to the bull starts the game. He said "baa". I said "moo". I started. I asked a wise man what was the secret to eternal life. He said, "don't die". This next song is all about subtraction. Take it away, boys!

    Top of the class

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 25, 2020 1:06


    It's midweek mirth with PJ #122! This time we have puns, gags and jokes on levitation, ghost trains, strippers and more! The first day of my levitation course was great. I went straight to the top of the class. I hear that the Ghost Train workers are on strike again. It's operating on a skeleton staff, I went for a lap dance was great recently and the girl was amazing. I gave her five stars on Strip Advisor So I quit my job at the helium gas factory - I refused to be spoken to in that tone. I released my own fragrance today. Not sure the others in the lift appreciated it, though. Want to hear a roof joke? The first one's on the house.

    Put it on my bill!

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 23, 2020 1:17


    It's a brand new week and PJ #121 kicks it off with puns, gags and jokes on lipstick, keyboards and girlfriends. I'm not condescending - I'm just thinking about important things that you wouldn't understand. I heard about a victim getting encased in cement the other day. Fortunately, there was enough concrete evidence to charge the suspect. And they say that sarcasm is the lowest form of humour. Yeah, sure it is! What did the duck say when he bought some lipstick? Put it on my bill. There are perks to working in a keyboard factory - extra shifts, I love the control it gives, and also I can escape at any time. My girl says she loves it when I blow air on her when she's hot. But honestly, I'm not a fan.

    Old McDonald's Farm

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 20, 2020 1:07


    The Pun Jab #120 rounds off the week with gags, puns and jokes on snow, chloroform, Alexander the Great and more! I've just sent my girlfriend a huge pile of snow. I hope she gets my drift. People learn from history, which is why you should always delete it! I'm putting a new hem on my trousers - or sew its seams. I got a new job last week as the top dog at Old McDonald's farm. I'm the new C.I.E.I.O. I asked my friend if I could borrow his can of chloroform. He said, "knock yourself out". What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common? The same middle name.

    Demerara

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2020 1:15


    As PJ reaches 119, it's midweek madness with jokes, puns and gags on workaholics, sugar, fonts and more! I used to tell people that I was a workaholic, until I realised that it didn't mean "guy who gets shit-faced at the office". I started my new job as a tailor last week. It was sew-sew. Jokes about white sugar are rare, but jokes about brown sugar? Demerara. Times New Roman and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The barman says "Oi! We don't want your type in here!" What do you call a man with a car on his head? An ambulance - he's got a car on his head! My wife says we need more garden furniture. I'm sitting on the fence.

    My Spitting Image

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 16, 2020 1:07


    The Pun Jab starts the week with puns, gags and jokes on Yamaha, Lego, scarecrows and more! What do you call a laughing motorbike? A Yamahahaha! I have a twin brother with a lisp. He's my spitting image. The Lego store has finally reopened. People are lining up for blocks. Sometimes I tuck my knees under my chest and lean forward. It's just how I roll. As a scarecrow, people say I'm outstanding in my field. But hay, it's in my jeans. I entered ten puns in a content to see which would win. No pun in ten did.

    Chernobyl

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 13, 2020 1:10


    The Pun Jab #117 rounds up the week puns, gags and jokes on sex, street fighting, Yamaha and more! My wife likes to talk during sex. Last night she called me from the hotel! Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon? It had great food, but no atmosphere. My career as a street fighter didn't last long. I broke my hand punching the curb. I just interviewed a guy who used to work at Chernobyl. He came with a glowing reference. The pharmacist said that he only had the generic version of my regular laxative medicine. I guess that I'll have to make doo-doo with that. What do you call a laughing motorbike? A Yamamahahaha.

    Paris on a whim

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 11, 2020 1:07


    In the Pun Jab #116, it's midweek mirth with jokes on bakeries, Paris, hacking and more! The Pun Jab #116: Those who rob banks are bad people, but it's those who rob bakeries who really take the cake. I just saw a documentary on how ships are held together. Riveting! My email password has been hacked again - that's the third time I've had to rename the cat. I decided to go to Paris on a whim. Turned out that I couldn't, so I caught a train. People tell me I'm condescending. That means that I talk down to people. I tell you what catches my eye - short people with umbrellas.

    A little con descending

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 9, 2020 1:06


    The Pun Jab number 115 gets the week underway with some puns, gags and jokes on duvets, dwarves and cliffhangers... When I die, I'd like the word "humble" to be carved on my mausoleum. My wife just said that quilts are better than duvets. I told her that she should be careful making blanket statements like that. Yesterday I saw a dwarf climbing down a prison wall. I thought it a little con descending. A man went to hospital after swallowing three horses. His condition is stable. I'm terrified of elevators. I'm taking steps to avoid them. You know what they say about cliffhangers...

    Letters from Ikea

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 6, 2020 1:17


    PJ 114 rounds off the week with gags, puns and jokes on Ikea, Eskimos, Scrabble and more! The Pun Jab episode 114: I got thousands of letters delivered to my house today. That's the last time I buy a dictionary from Ikea! Two Eskimos in a kayak are getting chilly, so they light a fire - but the boat sinks, proving once and for all: you can't have your kayak and heat it. I saw a guy drop a box of Scrabble on the road - so, I sidled up beside him and asked: "what's the word on the street?" I met my wife at the zoo. There she was, in her uniform - and straight away I knew she was a keeper. I wanted to steal some leftovers from the party - but my plans were foiled. People have been laughing behind my back at my decision to wear mittens instead of gloves. But I don't like to point fingers.

    Sweeping changes

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 4, 2020 1:04


    It's Midweek mirth as the PJ hits 113 with jokes, puns and gags on Taiwan, Armageddon, the Seven Dwarves and more! The Pun Jab episode 113: I heard that people from Taiwan are impatient and aggressive - because they have a Taipai personality. I used to be in a band called The Hinges. We once supported The Doors. So what if I don't know what Armageddon means? It's not the end of the world! The seven dwarves have been told they can now meet in a group of 6. One of them isn't Happy. I've hired a new maid. I'm anticipating some sweeping changes. My girlfriend called me a stalker. Okay, she's not exactly my girlfriend yet.

    Stepping on Lego bricks

    Play Episode Listen Later Nov 2, 2020 1:13


    Yes, The Pun Jab #112 kicks off the week with jokes, puns and gags on Flamingos, sore eyes, children and more! The Pun Jab #112 I went to a karaoke bar last night that only played seventies music. At first, I was afraid. Women would claim that childbirth is the most painful experience of their lives - until 3 years later, they step on a Lego brick. My wife told me to stop acting like a flamingo, so I had to put my foot down. It only takes me 10 minutes to walk to the pub, but 15 minutes to walk back. The difference is staggering. My wife and I have decided that we don't want children. If anyone out there does, we can drop them off tomorrow morning. Conjunctivitis.com - now that's a site for sore eyes.

    Period

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 30, 2020 1:11


    The PJ looks forward to the weekend with puns, gags and jokes on hypochondria, sex tapes, menstruation and more!

    Wild West planners

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 28, 2020 1:09


    It's another midweek funny-fest as PJ hits 110 with puns, gags and jokes on boredom, shelves, bouncers and more!

    Gregorian Monks

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 26, 2020 1:13


    The Pun Jab reaches 109 with another "6 of the Best" puns, gags and jokes on kleptomania, hunchbacks, belts and more! 1: Last night I saw a poor old lady falls down a flight of stairs. At least, I assume she was poor – she only had three pounds in her purse. 2: I suffer from kleptomania. When it gets really bad, I take something for it. 3: I was going to make myself a belt out of watches, but would be a waist of time. 4: I always wanted to be a Gregorian Monk, but I never got the chants. 5: I got my wife an artificial leg for Christmas. It was the perfect stocking filler. 6: My boss is going to fire the employee with the worst posture. I have a hunch, it might be me.

    Screaming in terror!

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 23, 2020 1:15


    The Pun Jab 6otB rounds off the week with puns, gags and jokes on chauffeurs, toast, water mattresses and more!

    Barcode Battleships!

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 21, 2020 1:11


    It's midweek mirth with another six corking puns, gags and jokes - this time on my mum, zoos and the Antiques' Road Show.

    Poor for 4

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 19, 2020 1:13


    PJ "6 of the Best" kicks off its new thrice-weekly (Monday, Wednesday, Friday) schedule with some cracking puns, gags and jokes on insomnia, social distancing, colour blindness and more!

    A great Subway sandwich!

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 15, 2020 1:14


    The Pun Jab 6otB smashes into the midweek with gags, jokes and puns on road workers, dating, mid-air sleeping and more!

    Banging on about alt-right...

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 12, 2020 1:15


    In PJ episode 104, it's another 6 of the best - this time featuring mayonnaise, violins, spiders and more!

    Mary had a little lamb...

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 8, 2020 1:17


    The Pun Jab's "6 of the Best" presents puns, gags and jokes on dubious hobbies, face masks and grass. Yes... grass.

    Chinese soup

    Play Episode Listen Later Oct 5, 2020 1:16


    "PJ: 6 of the Best" starts your week with puns, gags and jokes on piranhas, Dicks, Chinese soup and more!

    We're back!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2020 1:09


    It's great to be back! Yes, the Pun Jab returns twice-weekly (Mondays and Thursdays) with "6 of the Best!" - an attempt to distil some of the better zingers into the usual one-minute bite-cast. In the first SOTB, there are puns, gags and jokes on treadmills, pets, voodoo and more!

    Bonds... James Bonds. And farewell...

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 22, 2020 5:01


    The fat lady is clearing her throat! At 100, the Pun Jab dons the cloth cap and slippers, lights a cigarette and retires disgracefully to the country. There's a short farewell from me at the end, but before then we have puns, gags and jokes on film editing, James Bond and dog poo. Of course...

    Czech, 1, 2...

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 21, 2020 1:09


    At 99, it's the penultimate Pun Jab, yet it's still packed with puns, gags and jokes on wells, Heathrow Airport and sound technicians!

    Guilty!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 18, 2020 1:07


    At 98, the Pun Jab nears the end with puns, gags and jokes about children, beer bellies, holiday sex and more!

    A world of pain

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 17, 2020 1:03


    The Pun Jab hits 97 with gags, puns and jokes on cowboys, encyclopedias, maths and more.

    A baker charged in...

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 16, 2020 0:58


    PJ is on oxygen at 96, but still has a few more puns, gags and jokes on childhood obesity, exorcism and graffiti!

    Swim like an Egyptian

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 15, 2020 1:04


    At 95, the end lurks menacingly, but the PJ still has a few more puns, gags and jokes on autocorrect, sailboats and people-pleasing!

    Working for Peanuts

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 14, 2020 1:05


    At 94, the end for PJ is in sight, but not before more jokes, puns and gags on mules, boxing, grammar and more!

    Catwoman in Nepal? WTF?

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 11, 2020 1:06


    So the Pun Jab is wheeled into the room at 93, with more puns, jokes and gags on the Praying Mantis, hats and autobiographies.

    Call in the SWAT team!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 10, 2020 1:03


    92 down and the Pun Jab has more puns, gags and jokes on first aid, Mount Rushmore and capital punishment!

    I kid you not...

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 9, 2020 1:06


    Still fit and fighting at 91 with more PJ jokes, puns and gags on politicians, steak, fishing and more!

    Nuts and bolts

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 8, 2020 1:01


    The Pun Jab hits 90 with jokes, puns and gags on open-mindedness, singles and crosswords.

    I'm not a Catholic...

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 7, 2020 1:04


    89-up and PJ potters towards oblivion with jokes, puns and gags on telekinesis, egg-timers, hats and more!

    Present tense and past perfect

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 4, 2020 1:06


    Exercise, selfies, nostalgia and more in the 88th edition of the Pun Jab. Almost there...

    My first porno!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 3, 2020 1:00


    Number 87 and the Pun Jab totters towards oblivion with jokes, puns and gags on Thai food, alcohol and war crimes!

    Guardian of the Galaxy

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 2, 2020 1:04


    PJ totters towards 86 with jokes, puns and gags on limbo, kleptomania and GPS - all in one minute!

    A Catholic converter!

    Play Episode Listen Later Sep 1, 2020 1:05


    The Pun Jab is getting on a bit but doesn't give a stuff - yes, more puns, gags and jokes on facelifts, smoking and lost luggage!

    Clown attack!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 28, 2020 1:04


    It's 84-up for the Pun Jab with more puns and gags on baked potatoes, bullets and snow!

    30 years of happiness...

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 27, 2020 1:07


    Yes, it's the Pun Jab at 83 with jokes, puns and gags on apathy, parallel lines, marriage and turtles!

    Take out only!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 26, 2020 0:59


    The Pun Jab gets petty at 82, with puns, gags and jokes on crowbars, neutrinos and assassins!

    Usain Bolt in a nightclub...

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 25, 2020 1:02


    PJ hits 81 with puns, gags and jokes on autocorrect, chemistry and locksmiths!

    Cat food is for pussies!

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 24, 2020 1:10


    The Pun Jab matures at 80 with jokes, puns and gags on porn, fitness, flat-Earthers and more!

    A seasoned Chess Grandmaster...

    Play Episode Listen Later Aug 21, 2020 1:05


    PJ is maturing well with gags, puns and jokes on Gary Kasparov, Trojan Horses, rock-climbing and more!

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