Podcast appearances and mentions of michelle lisa anderson

This week, Stacy is joined by Michelle Lisa Anderson, speaker, Author and CCO of movement ‘Love over Addiction.’ Michelle shares her personal story of divorcing a man who suffered from drug and alcohol addiction. She also opens up about the details behind her dysfunctional marriage, which she kept hidden, and how she opened the door to happiness. She emphasizes the importance of loving ourselves for the people we are today and not the people we are trying to become tomorrow. In this episode you will gain insight on: How to support a friend or family member who is going through a dysfunctional marriage (07:43) Why we so frequently pursue those who can't love us in the way we need (12:04) How to prevent this from this happening again (18:42) How to know when to leave (22:44) How to know whether your situation is ‘normal’ (29:29) Where to receive emotional support during a transition (34:04) Those interested in receiving Michelle’s Free 12 Tips Every Woman & Mother Need to Know When Loving Someone Who Drinks Too Much or Suffers From Substance Abuse can visit: http://loveoveraddiction.com/stacy and enter your email address. The freebie will be emailed to you.  Michelle Anderson | W: LoveOverAddiction.com E: Info@LoveOverAddiction.com  Stacy Francis | W: www.francisfinancial.com P: 212-374-9008 E: Stacy@francisfinancial.com

This week, Stacy is joined by Michelle Lisa Anderson, speaker, Author and CCO of movement ‘Love over Addiction.’ Michelle shares her personal story of divorcing a man who suffered from drug and alcohol addiction. She also opens up about the details behind her dysfunctional marriage, which she kept hidden, and how she opened the door to happiness. She emphasizes the importance of loving ourselves for the people we are today and not the people we are trying to become tomorrow.   In this episode you will gain insight on:   How to support a friend or family member who is going through a dysfunctional marriage (07:43) Why we so frequently pursue those who can't love us in the way we need (12:04) How to prevent this from this happening again (18:42) How to know when to leave (22:44) How to know whether your situation is ‘normal’ (29:29) Where to receive emotional support during a transition (34:04) Those interested in receiving Michelle’s Free 12 Tips Every Woman & Mother Need to Know When Loving Someone Who Drinks Too Much or Suffers From Substance Abuse can visit: http://loveoveraddiction.com/stacy and enter your email address. The freebie will be emailed to you.   Michelle Anderson | W: LoveOverAddiction.com E: Info@LoveOverAddiction.com   Stacy Francis | W: www.francisfinancial.com P: 212-374-9008 E: Stacy@francisfinancial.com

Here’s a post that came from our Secret Facebook Group that is full of THE most loving and encouraging friends. There are over 800 women waiting to lift you up and cheer you on. I think you’ll find one of our sister’s personal story a tremendous encouragement. Recently, I had a falling out with both my mother (who abandoned me twice and is a narcissist and a dry drunk) and my sister in law (meddling, critical, and a highly suspicious dry drunk). Clearing my expectations, hopes, and wishes regarding others is a radical experience. It seems that by telling others how I feel with honesty and authenticity and practicing honoring my boundaries has the effect of allowing them to respond in the same incomprehensibly mean, judgemental, defensive way as ever before. My alcoholic husband is not the root of my trouble. But I can weather the storms of my life so much better with him as a partner, not an anchor, in the storm. Today, he is so much more a partner than an anchor. Yes, it's work to set a boundary, to announce it, and to enforce it, but it is so much lighter a load than keeping my feelings bottled up, keeping secrets, and carrying around hurts, hopes, and expectations. Before this course, I did not know what boundaries were. Without them, I had no defenses to keep me safe. I relied on others (most of whom are ill-equipped or hurt me regularly) to keep watch. Now, thanks to Michelle Lisa Anderson, I can say, "I will speak up with kindness and dignity to share how other people's behavior makes me feel." My reason? Keeping silent about anger or hurt is as much of a lie as hiding love or gratitude. "I release what does not serve me," and it doesn’t serve me to be a silent doormat. Love Over Addiction has helped me love myself more than I am afraid of my husband's addiction. It has helped me love myself more than I fear my mother's rejection. It has helped me love my son enough to teach him to stand up for himself. I'm proud of myself for doing the work. I'm proud of so many of my sisters in this group, too. Most of all, I love this program and MLA for making it for us. Isn't this amazing? Can you hear the hope and strength in her writing?  She did the work and she started out just like you. It's the holidays, and it's time to give yourself the gift of recovery and hope just like my friend in the Secret Facebook Group. If you're feeling lonely, we are here for you. You don't have to be alone.  We will help you and encourage you with real practical answers. I hope you join us in one of the programs.

Because this post is so good, it only needs a short introduction from me in addition to saying it's written by one of the women in our Love Over Addiction Secret Facebook Group. I know you'll find hope in her story. Enjoy! If someone had told me a year ago that 2017 would be the year I found true happiness, I would've been hopeful, but not very trusting or optimistic. If someone had told me that in 2017 I would be given the opportunity to travel across the country and visit places I had only ever dreamed about, I would've thought they were crazy. If someone had told me a year ago that within the next year I would meet and marry a kind, generous, loving, successful, educated, adventurous, non-alcoholic man, I would've bet $1 million they were dead wrong. And I would've lost. One year ago, I felt hopeless. I felt like a failure. The man I loved so very much didn't love himself, and I couldn't change it. Lord knows I tried. I refused to accept reality because it differed so greatly from what I wanted it to be. But there was a plan bigger than my own. In December 2016, my alcoholic gave me the gift of infidelity. Yes, I said gift. It was truly the best Christmas present I never knew I wanted. It was my final straw. And let me be very clear, I was devastated. I was in shock. Utterly and completely shattered. I wanted to run back to him so very badly. I was scared to death. The hardest part about ending that relationship was my fear of the unknown. I didn't know what would happen next - with me, my two daughters, or with him. It was terrifying. To say that I finally accepted reality or trusted God's plan would be a complete lie. The only thing I knew for sure was that I didn't want to live like that anymore. Thanks to the support, reassurance, and lessons from Love Over Addiction and the kind, loving, beautiful women in this group, I stumbled through those first two months of grief. I held my ground and my head began to lift. It was not easy. I can honestly say it was the most difficult thing I have ever been through. But I am here to tell you, it is possible. Doors began opening immediately. Opportunities and situations that I thought only existed in romantic comedies and fairy tales were suddenly present in my own life. I swore off dating for one year. I knew I needed time to heal. That was my plan (because y'all know we're always planning how things should happen in our lives). I never imagined His plan would be so much better than mine. I joined my local gym back in August 2016 after yet another traumatic, short-term "break" from long-term my alcoholic boyfriend. I had zero expectations but knew my goal was to run a local half marathon the following spring. The running class was scheduled to begin January 4, 2017. My relationship ended suddenly and unexpectedly on Dec 27. I really just wanted to lie in bed and cry on January 4th, but something made me get up and go. I had already committed to it and I was tired of my alcoholic boyfriend's antics ruining my plans. I went faithfully twice a week until the race in early March. I finished my very first half marathon and felt a sense of pride for that accomplishment. My running coach was kind and professional. He was also very proud of each one of us in the class. I won't lie, he was also handsome. But a relationship wasn't in plan, and I tried my best to ignore any spark between us. By April it was undeniable. He asked me on a date, and I thought, “Why not?” He was a true gentleman and we had a phenomenal time. He even paid for our date! I certainly wasn't used to that! I always heard that when you meet "the one," you just know. I never understood that until now. It truly is this unconditional love. It's a non-circumstantial, comfortable feeling of love and trust. No matter what I do or say or how I act, this man loves me and I love him. I don't fear him leaving me in the middle of the night if my kids act up. I don't fear him cheating on me if I don't want to have sex at the exact moment he does. I don't fear that he could stop loving me at any moment. I don't feel the need to check his phone or look for his hiding places. To put it simply, it's easy. It's what I always envisioned "normal life" to be. We decided there was no reason to wait to spend forever together. He proposed on June 24th, and we went to a local courthouse on July 14th. Some people probably think we're crazy and that it was "too soon," but I can't explain the feeling of fate. I have never been happier. And not because he makes me happy, but because I am finally happy with myself. I took a girls trip to Zion National Park in June without having to worry about whether or not he would drink too much. We are going to San Francisco next month for our honeymoon. He is surprising my girls with a trip to New York City for Christmas. So many opportunities I never dreamed possible. I credit Michelle Lisa Anderson and all you lovely ladies for helping me reach that point, but, ultimately, my life turned 180 degrees because I made a difficult, terrifying decision. It was up to me to take that leap. Just like Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz, I was wearing the ruby slippers the entire time - I just didn't know what to do with them. I'll end this story with a small piece of unsolicited advice (sorry, sometimes I just can't help myself). If you are waiting for your next move to be painless, seamless, or easy, you will never move. It is very painful. It is terrifying. It is difficult. But most importantly, it is not only possible, but it is beyond rewarding. My journey is just that… my journey. My ex-alcoholic boyfriend's journey is his journey. I truly believe that his journey intertwined with mine for a purpose. I learned so many things about myself that I never would've known without being in a relationship with an alcoholic. When I began to trust my thoughts and feelings, I realized I was valid and important. I began to see that his journey and my journey were different, and that was okay. That was the reality. I have no idea where my ex is or what he is doing. It doesn't matter. I sincerely wish him the best. I am thankful for the five-plus years we spent together. I believe he was placed in my life as an opportunity for me to grow, learn, practice humility, experience and give grace, and become the best possible version of myself. I am not encouraging you to leave your alcoholic. I am not pretending to understand your circumstances, because all of our circumstances are similar yet completely different. Wherever your journey takes you, I want you to know you are worthy of love and respect. Love and respect yourself with every fiber of your being and life begins to look a lot brighter. There's a plan for you that's bigger than your imagination. What an incredible, inspiring story. Does it bring tears to your eyes? Hope to your heart? I hope it impacted you as profoundly as it did me. If you haven’t joined Love Over Addiction, we’d absolutely love to have you. Whether you stay with your alcoholic or not, we are here for you and a rewarding life is waiting for you!

Michelle- addiction activist, author and speaker is talks with me about her journey of love and addiction. After so much painful effort in her marriage, Michelle realized she could not save the man she loved from the disease of addiction. And now she is out to support other women who are fighting for their joy, their lives and their hope while being married to men who are addicts.  We talk about what life is like being married to an addict. How she mothered through it all. How we and why we should focus more on ourselves, especially in a marriage faced with addiction. And why we tend to end up with guys who are no good for us. Michelle has also created a podcast for women who love someone that drinks too much or suffered from any addiction. You are not alone in this and you don't have to be. So if this topic resonates with you I hope you feel like you have a place to reach out and find help and hope.  You can follow Michelle: Michellelisaanderson.com The Wife of an Alcoholic PodcastInstagram YouTube