A Family in China

It was a very hard decision, but, regretfully, we've chosen to discontinue this podcast. This is our final episode, and in it, Lisle shares a brief explanation with you and an offer, perhaps, for an adoptee who might consider this to be a project worth taking on. As of this date, our 10 episodes of our new podcast have been downloaded more than 5,400 times by a very niche listening audience of those of you who have a special interest in birth family search in China. This podcast could never have grown in popularity as it has without all our guests who have shared such amazing stories, or without the wisdom of our wonderful commentators, Ricki Mudd and Iris Leung. Please note: In a couple weeks or so from the publication of this last episode, our main Website at afamilyinchina.com and our podcast's email addresses will no longer be active. However, we will keep all our past episodes available for some time on Facebook and our Twitter feed so you can go back and listen to them there, and we can be messaged directly through either of those services. Our past episodes can also be listened to directly from our podcast's feed service at: afamilyinchina.libsyn.com. Thank you to all of you who have listened to our show and supported us! And thank you for reminding us that international adoption from China is a story of both loss and gain that has three chapters of equal importance: that of the adoptive parents, that of the adoptee, and that of a family somewhere in China.

In this episode, Autumn shares her experience locating her birth family and finally meeting them during a trip to China, a visit full of joy, tears and some surprises about her earliest life in China that she would never have expected. This is yet another story where the commonly told tale of abandonment of a child leading to delivery to an orphanage turned out to be nothing like the reality.   Iris Leung reflects on “unofficial adoptions” in China, when families facing an above quota pregnancy, rather than abandon or abort their baby, chose to protect their child from being seized by birth control authorities by seeking others to raise their child as their own. Ricki shares her latest visit to her birth family in China and describes how her own birth family story has changed over time. We consider the challenges of family dynamics and drama when an adoptee becomes part of a larger biological family again. Ricki also offers her own experienced viewpoint on a recent open letter written on behalf of adoptees to birth parents in China. This letter, along with another letter addressed to the highest officials of the Chinese government, were presented at the 2018 conference of United Chinese Americans in Washington, DC, and are intended to be officially presented to the Chinese government via press conference. Adoptees and adoptive parents can read these letters here and sign on in support: Open Letter to Birth Parents: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1XPk7CCtNoycDB2xdTsGJAns5FsA8TFbDt_LwoltasR4/mobilebasic  Open Letter to Chinese Government Officials: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Bx2fP5xV1JdHREstaTFTNXFIUXduTkcteEQxb0NMQ0R4a1dN/view  Submit Your Support for Letters: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1DOrwvI2t5bRTEzbdP9VqYs6sgNUe2J3qPjQaqNru-k4/viewform?edit_requested=true  

Kaylena Weiderhold received a surprise gift on her birthday that she would never have expected - the news that her birth family had been located in China and they were waiting to talk with her on social media. After several conversations over the Internet, more surprises followed as she found out details about her family that were shocking, life changing as well as personally confirming for her, including how much forced abortion and the One Child Policy had had a personal impact on her life story. In this episode, Kaylena explains how she was able to connect with her birth parents, how she felt about it, what she learned from that connection and what she plans to do with what she has discovered about her family and herself. Ricki and Iris also chime in with their perspectives on Kaylena's story. At the end of this episode, Iris shares with us a translation of a message we received from a birth mom in China who has been looking for her missing child who she believes was adopted to an American family. Here are some basic details of that message: Zhou Liuxian has been looking for her missing daughter. Born around May 30, 1995. She was fostered at the home of Zhu Shugao in Tangbei Village, Huashu Township, and later adopted out of Quzhou Orpnanage in Zhejiang Province as Xu Qufeng by an American family. That adoptive mother had visited the foster family's home in China in 2007, but the Zhu family had passed away. The adoptive mother and child had left a photo and returned to America before the birth mother found out they had been there. If you believe this description applies to you and you would like to follow up, please contact us via our website afamilyinchina.com with a few details about yourself and your adoption and we will take steps to help you make a connection. We will never charge a fee for this service, nor will we share your contact information with anyone without your permission.

Sometimes the smallest bit of information might turn out to be the most important clue in a search for birth relatives. In this episode of our podcast, Charlotte Cotter shares her story of how a reporter unexpectedly connected her with her birth family in China, what happened when she finally met them, and her mixed feelings trying to come to terms with that experience. Ricki, Iris and Lisle follow with a discussion about media and public attention overload that can happen when an adoptee undertakes a search in China, especially when a birth family is located. And they also consider how, when birth parents come forward and begin to explain why they relinquished a child, the adoptee's long assumed story that the reason they had ended up in an orphanage and were adopted was because they had been abandoned might turn out to be something entirely different instead. Charlotte Cotter is co-founder and co-president of China's Children International an international support, networking and advocacy organization for Chinese adoptees. You can read the piece she wrote about her visit with her birth parents in China, which was mentioned in this episode, here: https://issuu.com/chinaschildreninternational/docs/cci_spring_magazine_2018__spread__f 

Local people in China react to a Chinese adoptee who has returned from a foreign country to look for her birth parents, and we react to a challenging comment about race and international adoption. In this episode of our podcast, Molly Reckinger describes her many experiences, insights and surprises while searching in China for her birth parents, a trip she chronicled by video for her senior research project. And one of the most interesting surprises may have been the first question local people asked her, once they understood she was searching for her birth mother and father - WHY? Also, Lisle, Ricki and Iris mull over a cutting comment about race and adoption that Molly said she heard after returning home. Although Molly's trip did not result in discovering her birth family, she learned quite a bit about the people of China and even something important about herself, all of which she shares with listeners in this new episode. Check out Molly's video of her birth family search in China here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClLPutTdkoY&feature=youtu.be   

Are adoptees from China lucky? Should they feel thankful to their adoptive parents? In this episode, award-winning author and Financial Times international correspondent Patti Waldmeir relates some of her experiences and personal reactions living for eight years in Shanghai with her two daughters who were adopted from China, much of which she chronicled, sometimes with self-deprecating humor and sometimes with painful honesty, in her book, Chinese Lessons: An American Mother Teachers Her Children How to be Chinese in China. During her time in China, she interviewed locals from a wide variety of backgrounds to uncover bits and pieces of the complicated story of how so many Chinese girls ended up in orphanages and adopted abroad. Her own personal struggles with the issue of abandonment of children in China were further accented by a striking discovery she made in a back alley, an experience she movingly shares with listeners. Her fascinating book is available on Amazon.      Ricki Mudd adds her own thoughts to the topic of abandonment, from the viewpoint of an adult adoptee from China, and Iris Leung contributes another perspective as someone Chinese who has worked in the field of adoption in China. We also consider different ways to react culturally, personally and emotionally to commonly heard comments in China that adopted children should consider themselves lucky and should be thankful to their adoptive parents.      You may note that we've added a new brief introduction in Chinese at the beginning to go along with a brand-new page in Chinese on our Website. This page goes into a little detail about international adoption of China's children and explains how international adoptees and adoptive families are listening to this podcast worldwide. The Chinese page also offers people in China an opportunity to send a message to respond to listeners, including information about a missing child, if appropriate. If you have friends in China, or if you are in China, please consider sharing our page in Chinese.

Chinese people may not, at first, react in the same way to a Chinese adoptee as they might when they meet a white Westerner. Is there anything about an obviously foreign-looking white adoptive parent and a very Chinese-looking adoptee traveling together that might be either helpful or problematic when trying to undertake a birth family search in China?  Olivia Wolf, a writer for AsAmNews (Asian American News), recently traveled to China together with her adoptive father to do some research on her family background there, and we talk with Olivia about the cultural and practical implications of this, as well as possible hurdles when it comes to cross-cultural communication. Olivia also shares a few thoughts about how adoptees might prepare for the challenging quest to uncover clues about their birth parents. And she mentions the value of people being as open as possible about all aspects of the experience of searching for birth family in China.  Ricki shares some of her thoughts on Olivia's story and perspective, as an adoptee who has spent significant time with her own birth family in China. And Iris also offers insight, as someone Chinese who has worked in the field of adoption, into questions about the advantages and drawbacks of the participation of white Westerners in something as sensitive and culturally complex as a birth family search in China.  NOTE: the documentary film that Ricki was featured in, Ricki's Promise, has just been released for download and streaming on Amazon and GooglePlay.

Cornelia, one of the organizers of a very creative online search project, explains how 73 adoptive families and adoptees have gone about creating and promoting a video on Chinese social media to try to reach birth family members from Guangxi Province. She also shares some of her own personal adoption and search history, including a reunion with the birth mother of her second adopted child from Ethiopia, and she offers advice for others considering a similar search attempt in China. Iris, Ricki and Lisle consider the possibilities for success on a video platform, and they also wonder about possible differences in the cultural impact of a birth family reunion in China compared to Cornelia's experience with her other daughter's birth mom from Ethiopia. Here is the video mentioned in this podcast http://www.iqiyi.com/w_19rx74ggj1.html  and the Weibo post https://www.weibo.com/6490433113/profile?topnav=1&wvr=6&is_all=1  (Note: you must sign up for an account with Weibo to access members' information.)

We take an honest look at truth and fiction in adoption records from China, and we consider one perspective of the possible impact of child trafficking on international adoption. Brian Stuy explains how his service business, Research-China, came to be and how it has been able to assist thousands in the China adoption community to uncover difficult to get background data on orphanages, finding ads, finding sites and other valuable information of great interest to adoptees and adoptive families, as well as to provide matching support for hundreds of birth families in China. We discuss how the possible unreliability of information on adoption paperwork might affect an adoptee's search for birth relatives. Ricki comments on the interview with Brian from her perspective as an adoptee who has answered many questions about her birth family experience. Iris also lends her perspective, as someone Chinese who has worked in the adoption field, on the many different factors that impact how children have ended up in orphanages and adopted. You can find more about Brian's service at http://research-china.org/ 

Ming Foxweldon shares her many and varied experiences trying to locate her birth parents in China, Ricki chimes in with commentary and Iris reads stories of successful family reunions inside China. Although in the end, Ming did not locate her birth family, her story is a long rollercoaster ride of success, failure and determination, full of examples of how she learned what to do and what not to do, and she sums it all up with valuable advice for adoptees. Ricki Mudd compares something of Ming's experience to her own, and she offers her thoughts about the emotional sensitivity surrounding a search for birth relatives that often hinders communication between adoptive parents and adoptees. Iris Leung continues to consider BaoBeiHuiJia, coming away with a couple example volunteer reports to share with us of successful family reunions with missing relatives inside China. Mention is made by both Ming and Iris of the Chinese reality TV show, Waiting for Me, in which missing children are reunited with family members. An episode of Waiting for Me can be viewed here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LgKJClo1Pgo 

Ricki Mudd shares her story of meeting her birth parents and brother in China and Iris Leung introduces a volunteer service in China assisting parents looking for missing children. Ricki describes her amazing experiences in China and living with her birth family for six weeks, a story told in detail in the well-known documentary film Ricki's Promise. We discuss matters of cultural understanding and misunderstanding and the impact of the One Child Policy on her brother, and Ricki considers questions like who should make a decision to initiate a birth parent search, the adoptee or the adoptive parents, and when and how might that decision be made. Iris Leung introduces Baobeihuijia, a volunteer service in China assisting parents looking for missing children. She explains how an adoptee seeking birth parents might use the service and shares some examples of appeals from birth parents from the site: http://www.baobeihuijia.com  The missing children she mentions in this episode are 118795 (F) Luo Nan Nan, Nanjing, Jiangsu Province, DOB: 02/03/97; 45675 (M) name unknown, Yuechi county, Sichuan Province, DOB: 08/03/11; and 197427 (F) Yin Yan, ShaoYang, Hunan Province, DOB: 12/13/01.

Nearly 120,000 children have been adopted out of Chinese orphanages to families around the world. Little or nothing is known about their birth parents. Host Lisle Veach, together with Ricki Mudd and Iris Leung, introduce this podcast that explores the search by international adoptees to find their birth families in China, and the quest of grieving parents in China to reunite with their missing children. Ricki Mudd, who provides adoptee insight and commentary for every episode, was featured in a recent documentary film about her own birth family reunion, RICKI'S PROMISE. Iris Leung also utilizes her Chinese translation skills and her international adoption background to initiate online research of missing child services in China.