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Creating a Family: Talk about Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care
Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Are your child's birth parents struggling with addiction, mental illness, or intellectual disability? If so, join us for this discussion with Teresa Bradley, a psychotherapist with over 17 years of experience in addiction counseling and mental health. She is a Master Addiction Counselor, Trauma-Focused Cognitive Behavioral Therapist, and clinical trainer at Amerigroup.In this episode, we discuss:Substance Abuse DisordersWhat are some of the challenges that adoptive or foster parents might expect to see when a birth parent is struggling with a substance abuse disorder (SAD) and not able to raise this child?How are those issues different for relative caregivers, like grandparents raising grandchildren? At what age should we start talking to the kids in our care about their parents' challenges with substance abuse? How do we bring it up? How do we decide what to share and when?How can parents address that emotional fallout and deal with their own expectations, triggers, or negative feelings about the birth parents' SAD?For relative caregivers, especially grandparents raising grandchildren, adding layers of guilt, shame, and disappointment.How might an open adoption relationship change across a birth parents' journey through SAD? How should adoptive parents approach openness in their adoption when SAD is a known issue?What do you suggest parents or relatives do to process their feelings? Mental Health Challenges or Intellectual DisabilitiesWhat are some of the specific challenges that adoptive or foster parents might expect when they are trying to support a child of parents with mental illness or intellectual difficulties?How can parents explain a birth parent's challenges to children? When? How?What are some of the questions kids might have but cannot voice? How do we address a child's concern that they will “get” this mental illness without scaring the child?Is this a good reason to limit contact with birth parents?How might an adoptive or foster parent talk to children and youth about the birth parents' ability to connect or maintain a relationship? When a kinship caregiver has a pre-existing relationship with this birth parent, how do they talk about the challenges and how their relationship changes in light of their struggles? What other issues do we need to consider to maintain a relationship with the birth parents while keeping the child safe and feeling cherished and supported?Resources:How Do You Manage Relationships with Birth Parents with Substance Use Disorders? Open AdoptionSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Today we have an adoptee who was a guest on episode 50 where we discussed the dangers of calling adoption a blessing. Sara Easterly is an adoptee, essayist, and author of books that include Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations from Adoptees, Birth Parents, Adoptive Parents, and Allies, and award-winning spiritual memoir, Searching for Mom. She is the founder of Adoptee Voices, which supports adoptees in their storytelling. She is also a trained course facilitator with the Neufeld Institute, with special interest in the intersection of attachment, child development, brain science, and adoption.We discuss:Check in on her book tours for Adoption Unfiltered (I make a cameo in this book!)The feeling of rejection for adopteesHow she found her book collaboratorsSara's reunion with her biological familyThe corruption in adoptionThe new excuse to hold onto adoption narrativeBooks cited:Author Gabor Mate "Addicted to Drama" by Dr Scott LyonsDaniel Nayeri the author of "Everthing Sad and Untrue"Gretchen Sisson the author of "Relinquished" (Guest on Episode 71)GUEST:www.saraeasterly.comhttps://www.instagram.com/saraeasterlyauthor/https://www.facebook.com/saraeasterlyauthorhttps://x/saraeasterlyPhoto credit for bio pic: Adoptee Eileen Skahill Support the showCONNECT WITH HOST:@youngadoptee@lantoineswww.laniseantoineshelley.comWATCH ON YOUTUBE Here!MERCH here "I am my Hero" and "Courage, my love" TeesSPONSORSHIPS: BetterHelp Show Link HERE!DISCOUNT on WeUNIK Cosmetic Hair products15% off Code: WTWY ADOPTEE CONVERSATIONS WITH PARENTS:14 through18, and episode 28, and 29. WATCH PANELS: Here!JAMES BALDWIN'S ESSAY ON "WHITENESS": HISTORY of the word “Colored”:NYC ARTICLE ON THE USE OF "BIPOC":RESOURCES ON ...
Creating a Family: Talk about Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care
Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: I've been listening to your podcast for a few years! Our 10-year-old kinship adopted daughter has lived with us since she was 2 months old. For a variety of reasons, there hasn't been any in-person visits or phone calls with her birth mom (my sister). Communication has been limited to holiday/birthday cards and gifts. My sister has schizophrenia and bipolar disorders. Because she has been stable on her medications and her behaviors are typically within a somewhat 'predictable' range, we're thinking it's time to begin an in-person relationship. We're planning on writing a letter to my sister to tell her our thoughts on all of this and establish some ground rules and boundaries. After she has some time to digest that letter, my wife and I plan to meet with her in person (without our daughter) to firm up plans, expectations, etc. My questions are:What are some generally good boundaries to set up? How can we help prepare my sister for potentially tough questions from our daughter? (My sister is in denial that anything is wrong with her.) How can we prepare our daughter for all of this? How can we do this in a way that doesn't feel like we're wagging our finger at my sister and being 'above her'? Resources:Working with Birth Parents for the Child's Best Interest (Resource page)Evaluating Risk Factors in Adoption (Resource page)Finding an Adoption-Competent Therapist (Resource page)Support the showPlease leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building
In this heartfelt conversation, Helena Angela, a Canadian-Haitian adoptee and birth mother, shares her profound journey through adoption. She discusses the duality of joy and pain in her experience, the challenges of navigating her identity as a transracial adoptee, and the importance of community and support. Helena reflects on her closed adoption and how it shaped her desire to learn about her heritage, while also embracing the beauty of her open adoption with her son. The discussion highlights the emotional landscape of birth mothers, the significance of cultural identity, and offers valuable advice for adoptees, birth parents, and adoptive parents alike. Links Mentioned Helena Angela RG Adoption Consulting The Adoption Roadmap Am I Ready to Adopt? QUIZ Chapters 00:00 Balancing Joy and Pain in Adoption 03:07 Helena's Adoption Journey 06:11 Navigating Identity as a Transracial Adoptee 09:11 The Impact of Closed Adoption 11:49 Exploring Heritage and Roots 14:56 The Role of Family in Adoption 17:51 Embracing Emotions and Therapy 21:01 The Experience of Being a Birth Mother 39:16 Navigating the Adoption Decision 44:56 The Role of the Birth Father 49:12 Choosing the Right Family 54:10 Balancing Joy and Grief in Adoption 56:49 Facing Judgment and Regrets 01:01:38 The Impact of Open vs. Closed Adoption 01:04:02 Breaking Myths and Stigmas in Adoption 01:07:24 Advice for Adoptees, Birth Parents, and Adoptive Parents Tune in to The Adoption Roadmap Podcast every Wednesday and Friday mornings. If you like what you hear, I'd appreciate a follow and 5-star rating & review! THANK YOU! For questions about adoption, episode suggestions or to appear as a guest on The Adoption Roadmap Podcast, email support@rgadoptionconsulting.com
Comedian Dara Ó Briain has said he wanted to find his birth mother to tell her “it worked out OK” in his life after being adopted as a child. He also spoke about how it was kind of awkward at times…The Irish stand-up, 52, spoke about his experience of searching and finding his birth parents in his previous comedy tour ‘So Where Were We'?So, what is it like meeting your birth parents?Andrea is joined by Clodagh Malone from the Coalition of Mother and Baby Home Survivors, Iseult White, Psychotherapist and author as well as listeners.
Birth Mother Matters In Adoption Podcast Season 4, Episode 225; Birthfather Involvement in the Adoption Process Learn about Birth Fathers and their involvement in the adoption process. Understand the adoption process and procedures about notifying a birth father about an adoption plan. Learn everything about adoption! Listen now.
Conversations is bringing you a summer treat — a collection of Richard's most memorable guests through out the years. Uncle Jack was forcibly removed from his mother as a baby and denied his Aboriginality. A one-off trip to Fitzroy connected him with a family he didn't know about, and promptly landed him in jail.Jack passed away in 2022. Help and support is always availableYou can call Lifeline 24 hours a day on 13 11 14In a career spanning more than half a century, Uncle Jack Charles used the stage to share painful and personal truths about being a Stolen Generations survivor.Uncle Jack was born in Melbourne in 1943. He was taken from his mother as a baby and ended up in Box Hill Boys' Home where he was abused and told he was an orphan.It was only towards the end of his life that Uncle Jack found out who his father was, finally knowing himself as a Wiradjuri man, as well as Boon Wurrung, Dja Dja Wurrung, Woiwurrung and Yorta Yorta.Uncle Jack's early life had been defined by addiction, theft and twenty-two stints in jail.But he forged a legacy as a giant of the arts, a tireless advocate for youth in detention and a trailblazing advocate for a fairer Australia.This episode of Conversations contains discussions about Aboriginal identity, Indigenous history, stolen generation, orphanages, boys homes, youth offending, foster families, birth mothers, family relationships, Lilydale High School, Victoria, Melbourne, Fitzroy, youth detention, home invasion, robbery, acting, performing, theatre, film, Sydney Opera House, Box Hill Boys' Home, orphans, sisters, brothers, siblings, addiction, heroin, jail, racism, advocacy, David Gulpilil, initiation, Bennalong.
“I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” -Jeremiah 29:11 Welcome to The Adoption & Foster Care Journey—a podcast to encourage, educate and equip you as you care for children in crisis through adoption, foster care and kinship care. This week host Sandra Flach talks with adoptive mom Jodi Jackson Tucker and birth/adoptive mom Lisa Qualls. Jodi and Lisa, along with adult adoptee Betsy Kylstra, have co-authored the book new book Healing for Every Heart in Adoption—Redemptive Prayers and Strategies for Adoptive Parents, Adoptees, and Birth Parents. Jodi Jackson Tucker leads Second Mothers, a community for foster and adoptive moms. She's also the author of Second Mother—A Bible Study Experience for Foster and Adoptive Moms. Lisa Qualls is a birth mom, former foster youth, foster mom and adoptive mom. She is the coauthor of The Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment and coauthor of Reclaim Compassion: The Adoptive Parent's Guide to Overcoming Blocked Care with Neuroscience and Faith. Listen in today as these moms share their stories and discuss their new book for foster and adoptive parents. Please be sure to subscribe to the podcast, leave a review, and share it on your social media. Links mentioned in this episode: justicefororphansny.org justicefororphansny.org/hope-community Email: sandraflach@justicefororphansny.org sandraflach.com Hope For the FASD Journey Support Group secondmothers.org adoptionwise.org
Because of the fall of Roe v. Wade, we're hearing a lot more about adoption as an alternative for women who find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy. Even before the momentous Supreme Court decision, media portrayals of adoption have always painted it as an easy ethical conclusion to a difficult circumstance. But the real, lived experiences of birth parents who give up their children for adoption have never been part of the conversation. Do birth parents really see adoption as an alternative to abortion? Are they happy with their decision to relinquish their children? It turns out that for the most part, they're not. We talk to Samantha Gonzalez, a birth mother, and Gretchen Sisson, author of the book Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood. GUESTS: Samantha Gonzalez, a birth mother, and co-founder of Reproductive Justice in Adoption. Gretchen Sisson, author of “Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood.” The post Birth Parents on Adoption appeared first on KPFA.
Because of the fall of Roe v. Wade, we're hearing a lot more about adoption as an alternative for women who find themselves with an unwanted pregnancy. And even before, media portrayals of adoption have always painted it as an easy ethical conclusion to a difficult circumstance. But the real, lived experiences of birth parents who give up their children for adoption have never been part of the conversation. Do birth parents really see adoption as an alternative to abortion? Are they happy with their decision to relinquish their children? It turns out that for the most part, they're not. We talk to Samantha Gonzalez, a birth mother, and Gretchen Sisson, author of the book "Relinquished: The Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood." Making Contact Team: Episode Host: Salima Hamirani Producers: Anita Johnson, Salima Hamirani, Amy Gastelum, and Lucy Kang Executive Director: Jina Chung Editor: Adwoa Gyimah-Brempong Engineer: Jeff Emtman Digital Marketing Manager: Lissa Deonarain Music credits: Axletree - The Silent Grove Axletree - Goldfinch- Flight to the North Blear Moon - Learning from Kids Doctor Turtle - Leap Second Hinterheim - Prior Restraint Learn More: Reproductive Justice in Adoption Considering Adoption Planned Parenthood Relinquished Book Page Gretchen Sisson Making Contact is an award-winning, nationally syndicated radio show and podcast featuring narrative storytelling and thought-provoking interviews. We cover the most urgent issues of our time and the people on the ground building a more just world.
In this episode of The Counseling Psychologist podcast series, Dr. Amanda Baden, Sunanda Sharma, and LaShawn Adam talk about the article recently published in TCP titled, "How Could You Give Your Child Away?: Birth Parents' Experiences of Microaggressions."
Creating a Family: Talk about Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care
Click here to send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We have two boys, ages 10 and 12. We've been told that if we become a foster family, the foster children will have to have a room to themselves. Our boys can share a room for another year, but then we want to separate them. Can we just foster for one year? How long do foster kids usually stay?Resources:Becoming a Foster ParentRaising Foster ChildrenWorking with Birth Parents for the Child's Best InterestSupport the Show.Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Rudy Villanueva was born on October 19, 1988 in Banga, South Cotabato. His life took a significant turn when he was adopted by an Australian couple at the age of 2. Today, he is on a quest to find his biological parents. - Matagal nang umaasa si Rudy Villanueva na mahanap ang tunay na magulang matapos siyang inampon ng Australyanong mag-asawa nang siya ay 2 taong gulang.
"I think my mom, my adoptive mom, was probably scared that she was going to lose me to my birth family." -- Elizabeth Barbour
Welcome back to The One Left Behind! In this episode two, we're honored to have my biological mother, Nancy, join us. Her presence adds depth to our exploration of adoption. Today, we'll dive into Nancy's perspective on the adoption journey and how it's shaped both our lives.
Creating a Family: Talk about Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care
Send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Question: We have applied to adopt a baby. We're more or less being told that if we don't agree to an open adoption, we'll never get chosen by a birth mom. But, I really don't want an open adoption. I think kids need just one mom and dad and opening up our family to others will just be confusing for everyone. But, I'm afraid that we'll never get chosen if I say this.Resources:Open Adoption (Resource page)Listening to Adoptee VoicesUnderstanding the Birth Parents' ExperienceSupport the Show.Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building
Creating a Family: Talk about Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care
Send us a topic idea or question for Weekend Wisdom.Join us for this discussion with Dr. Gretchen Sisson, the author of Relinquished, the Politics of Adoption and the Privilege of American Motherhood.In this episode, we cover:Book focuses on private adoptions between 2000-2020. Not on parents where parental rights were terminated by the state and not on international adoptions.Full of first-person stories from birth moms. How many women are currently placing a child for adoption compared to the number of births? How does this compare to the number of women who decide on abortion? Only 25 % considered adoption, and only 9% relinquished. Turnaway Study90% of relinquishing moms considered parenting, but only 40% considered abortion.What is the demographic of the mom who relinquishes her child for adoption between 2000-2020? Why do women relinquish or choose adoption? What does the research show on how many women who decide against abortion or can't have an abortion because their pregnancy is too advanced opt for adoption?Why do so few women who are considering an abortion not consider adoption?Very often, the moms in your book and in your research describe adoption as their only option. Why were the other options not seen as viable? “When women have more options available to them, they are less likely to relinquish.”Options counseling.How has openness in adoption changed things?Some research shows birth moms are mostly happy with their decision to place a child for adoption. NCFA Adoption Profile: Birth Parents Experience (1400 birth parents)The issues of substance abuse disorder, acute mental illness, or extreme poverty are real. Why is it not in the child's best interest for the mom to choose adoption?Adoption and Safe Families Act of 1997- “fast-tracked termination of parental rights”—failed to talk about the reality of kids growing up in foster care. Support the Show.Please leave us a rating or review. This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them.Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content: Weekly podcasts Weekly articles/blog posts Resource pages on all aspects of family building
The debut episode of season one.My story in this episode, I open up about my adoption, sharing not just the facts as I know them, but also the deep emotional impact it has had on me. Join me as I explore the intricacies of my adoption story, revealing the way it resonates in my heart and shapes my identity. Get ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery and resilience as I lay bare the raw emotions and experiences that have defined my phenomenal world. Tune in and let my story inspire and move you.
Darragh Graham, multi-instrumentalist from the band Hermitage Green
Hey Light Shiners! I am joined by Laura a birth mom who almost lost her kids to the system because of a mental health crisis. She speaks about co-parenting with an abusive Ex-spouse and how she was alienated as a mom. Follow the guest on social media! @Iwinnard1982 also check out her business at Crystal Hope Creations Watch the video of this episode only on Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/user?u=45714095&fan_landing=trueIf you would like to be on the show please fill sign up here https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSdFZxNnCSntbuvjrxjjvZco3BmsCVNELmU1WzlYPCOongNNiA/viewform?usp=pp_url Please help us keep shining light on the truths of the foster care system by donating. Please click the link to donate! https://karlosdillard.com/checkout/donate?donatePageId=611ab8be7dbb68767abf984e
The foster care system's primary goal is to serve the best interests of the families within it. Whenever possible, that means reuniting biological parents with their children.To help a family heal, birth parents need intentional support. But all too often, they aren't given the resources they need to overcome their challenging life circumstances and set their family on a positive trajectory.In this episode, I am joined by two incredible women from Decatur, Texas: Catherine Vannatta and Tiffany Maggret. Catherine currently serves as a CASA advocate, while Tiffany is the Founder and Executive Director of One Hope Village, an organization that helps deteriorating families recover by equipping them with robust community resources.Catherine and Tiffany share with us what it's like to advocate for a child's rights when they are struggling in the foster care system, how God's grace inspires them to create safe spaces where birth parents feel comfortable asking for help, how they give families the resources they need to heal and reconnect, and so much more.Find the show notes and links to anything we discussed here: https://riversideproject.org/catherine-tiffany-21Connect with us!Website: https://riversideproject.orgInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/the.riverside.projectFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/riversideproject.htx
RNZ journalist Kirsty Johnston received an email one day with an usual subject line which was: "Investigating the possible murder of my mother". The email was from a woman named Sarah, who'd been adopted as a baby in the 1980s. Sarah wanted to find the truth about her birth mother Nellie, who was a former psychiatric patient at Porirua Mental Hospital, but who'd died in 2008, before Sarah had a chance to meet her. Sarah was suspicious that Nellie may have been deliberately killed, and that her own birth may have been the result of a sexual assault by a staff member at the hospital. Sarah and Kirsty have spent the past year combing through official records, doing DNA tests and tracking down long lost family members - hoping to get to the bottom of her mother's story. The result is the podcast Nellie's Baby, just released.
Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard is a birth mother who has spent several years working in the adoption field—both as a paralegal on the West Coast and in adoption agencies in the Midwest and East Coast. Kelsey is the fourth generation in her family to relinquish a child for adoption and her whole life has been uniquely impacted by adoption as a result. She earned her undergraduate degree from South Dakota State University and is currently pursuing a Master of Public Administration from the University of North Carolina at Pembroke. Kelsey is the Director of Advocacy and Policy at Ethical Family Building where she works on important public policy issues impacting the adoption triad and adoption professionals. She is co-producer of an upcoming documentary, Love, Your Birth Mom, and co-author of Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations from Adoptees, Birth Parents, and Adoptive Parents, publishing in December 2023. Kelsey resides in Northern California with her husband and daughter.. Kelsey is now the Director of Advocacy and Policy at AdoptMatch in California.Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations from Adoptees, Birth Parents and Allies on Amazon.com Podcast: https://www.twistedsisterhoodpodcast.com/Music by Corey Quinn
It's stunning to realize that only 10 states make birth records available to American-born adoptees and their biological parents—Alabama, Alaska, Colorado, Connecticut, Kansas, Maine, New Hampshire, New York, Oregon and Rhode Island. For adult adoptees born in the 20th century era of closed adoptions, this presents a painful obstacle to discovering their origins and ending the agonizing hunger to know their own identity. Janet Sherlund poignantly captures this journey in her elegant and heart-wrenching memoir, ABANDONED AT BIRTH: Searching for the Arms That Once Held Me (Forefront Books; May 7, 2024). Sherlund paints a vivid portrait of the detachment and longing of an adopted child and the lifelong quest to find her biological mother. It's an unflinching examination of the grief and trauma caused by this primal separation and the dogged determination it takes to face the forces of opposition—both internal and external—to finally achieve answers. ABANDONED AT BIRTH illuminates the darker side of adoption, and what it takes to heal. “I hope it starts conversations about the rights of those given away, loss and grief in adoption, the biology of belonging and identity, and why love is not always enough to extinguish the pain,” Sherlund says. Like many adoptees of her generation, Sherlund was the offspring of teenaged parents. Her mother was forced to have her baby in secrecy. Sherlund would come to learn that her mother was unusual for her time. Not only did she not tell the father she was pregnant, she wanted nothing to do with her baby and never even looked at her newborn. All Sherlund had to go on when she began her search was a false narrative written about her biological parents by the adoption agency. The twists and turns, setbacks and disappointments, and surprising familial connections finally achieved makes ABANDONED AT BIRTH a page turner of a memoir. JANET SHERLUND served on nonprofit boards in education, health and the cultural arts before writing her memoir, Abandoned at Birth. Her single most significant life event was being given up for adoption at birth. Being adopted made her feel as though she was living a “borrowed life,” undermined her sense of trust and personal value, and impacted every decision she made. It also led to a lifelong quest to find her biological mother, with the hope of finally feeling a tether to this world, a sense of belonging and ultimately, herself. Her memoir fulfills a lifelong dream to raise awareness about loss and grief in adoption, and why it takes more than love to survive that trauma. A graduate of Colgate University, Sherlund lives on the island of Nantucket.
This week we sit down with mysterious and illustrious Chaz Dean, renowned across Hollywood for his transformative hair care magic and the brains behind the WEN Hair care line. Part one takes you on a journey through laughter, revelations, and the exploration into Chaz's celebrated career and personal life. We kick off warmly introducing Chaz Dean, setting the stage for an intimate delve into Chaz's professional ethos and the foundational experiences that have shaped him, including his adoption story and the heartfelt journey to reconnect with his birth family. Chaz's openness about his past, including the revelation of his true name and the tale of his adoption,intertwines with discussions on his pioneering approach to hair care, highlighting his commitment to authenticity and innovation. Amidst tales of celebrity transformations and the groundbreaking success of WEN, his first celebrity client, Nicolette Sheridan which led to Lisa Rinna, Shannon Doherty, Tori Spelling and a slew of continued celebrities seeking our Chaz for healthier hair. We discuss when Chaz gave Lisa Rinna her signature cut, when she was on Days of our Lives. Does Chaz still cut their hair and what drama ensued between them regarding Harry Hamlin? The conversation dances between the worlds of Hollywood glamor and personal introspection, from lighthearted anecdotes about karaoke nights and quirky tales of buying homes for parking spaces to profound discussions on adoption, family bonds, and the quest for personal identity. Chaz's narrative is a testament to the transformative power of love, resilience, and the quest for truth, both in personal history and in the beauty industry. We end part one with Pol' beginning Chaz's Armenian Coffee Grounds. Side note, Chaz is vegan and grows his own food form his beautiful garden and does not drink coffee. However, we were able to get him to blow and sip (which he did quite well) the episode ends with a mystical turn as Pol' unveils his unique gift inherited from his Armenian grandmother – the ability to read Armenian coffee grounds, leading to a deeply emotional moments where Chaz seeks understanding and closure about his birth parents, particularly the identity of his birth father. This is another Hurrdat Media Production. Hurrdat Media is a podcast network and digital media production company based in Omaha, NE. Find more podcasts on the Hurrdat Media Network by going to HurrdatMedia.com or the HurrdatMedia YouTube channel! Subscribe to our audio: linktr.ee/undressedpod Follow Pol Atteu: Instagram: @polatteu Tiktok: @polatteu Twitter: @polatteu www.polatteu.com Follow Patrik Simpson: Instagram: @patriksimpson Tiktok: @patriksimpsonbh www.patriksimpson.com Follow SnowWhite90210: Instagram: @snowwhite90210 Twitter: @SnowWhite9010 www.snowwhite90210.com Watch Season 4 of Gown and Out In Beverly Hills on Prime Video. www.gownandoutinbeverlyhills.com #UndressedPodcast Armenian Coffee Reading: https://polatteu.com/armenian-coffee-cup-read Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Sara Easterly is an award-winning author and essayist. Her latest book, Adoption Unfiltered (Rowman & Littlefield, Dec 2023), is a collaboration with birth parent Kelsey Vander Vliet Ranyard and adoptive parent Lori Holden. Her spiritual memoir, Searching for Mom, won a 2020 Illumination Book Award gold medal, among many others. Sara's adoption-focused articles and essays have been published by Psychology Today, Dear Adoption, Feminine Collective, Her View from Home, Red Letter Christians, and Severance Magazine, to name a few. Sara is Founder of Adoptee Voices and previously led one of the largest chapters of the Society of Children's Book Writers & Illustrators (SCBWI), where she was recognized as SCBWI Member of the Year. She is a trained facilitator and staff member with the Neufeld Institute.Sara resides outside of Seattle with her husband, two daughters, and a menagerie of rescued fur-babies. As an adoptee, she has a passion for helping others understand the often-misunderstood hearts of adopted children.Find her online at https://saraeasterly.com/ https://adoptee-voices.com/Adoption Unfiltered: Revelations from Adoptees, Birth parents, Adoptive Parents, and Allies available on Amazon.com: https://www.amazon.com/Adoption-Unfiltered-Revelations-Adoptees-Adoptive/dp/1538174693/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3CEMXIV5XIDQL&keywords=adoption+unfiltered&qid=1706624058&sprefix=%2Caps%2C105&sr=8-1Searching For Mom: A Memoir available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Searching-Mom-Memoir-Sara-Easterly/dp/0578601958/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3T8RJV7GXFQAK&keywords=searching+for+mom+sara+easterly&qid=1706624112&sprefix=sara+easter%2Caps%2C113&sr=8-1Music by Corey Quinn
When my friend Ian first told me about his quest to discover his birth parents, it struck a chord within me. As we sat down to record this episode, I knew we were about to embark on a narrative that would resonate with many. Ian's story unfolds from a childhood filled with unanswered questions. He candidly recounts the moment at twelve years old when he stumbled upon his adoption papers, setting in motion a lifelong journey of self-discovery that would challenge and fulfil him in ways he never anticipated.The narrative reaches its climax as Ian details his hesitant yet hopeful outreach to biological relatives. The complex tapestry of emotions faced by adoptees surfaces, from the fear of rejection to the elation of connection, as Ian traverses the highs and lows of these encounters. His story culminates in the profound discovery of a half-sister, a serendipitous finding that brings unexpected joy and a sense of completeness to his journey. Ian's experience, shared with raw honesty and reflective insight, offers listeners a glimpse into the transformative power of uncovering one's origins and the indelible impact it has on an individual's life story.To contact Michala, you can do so via her website, www.michalahulme.comIf you would like to reach out to Ian, you can do so via, www.ianroyle.comA huge thank you to this week's sponsor, Witney AntiquesSupport the show
Author Frank Santo joins Daniel Ford on Friday Morning Coffee to chat about his debut novel The Birthparents. Caitlin Malcuit also discusses about the IMPACT X Nightline special "On the Brink," which covers the devastating effect of abortion bans in the United States, recounting incidents where individuals faced significant challenges accessing necessary medical care due to restrictive laws. She also discusses the case of Brittany Watts and the insidious workarounds to criminalize abortions in states where bans aren't in effect. Additional resources: Justice for Brittany Watts | GoFundMe To learn more about Frank Santo, visit his official website. Writer's Bone is proudly sponsored by The Bookshop: Lou's Literary Line, Libro.fm and Mark Cecil's upcoming novel Bunyan and Henry; Or, the Beautiful Destiny.
Should white parents adopt children of color? Today more than 40% of adoptions are transracial, so it's a conversation we need to have. November is National Adoption Month, so we're talking about adoption, ethnicity, adoptee and birth mom voices, and more on this episode with Dr. Brittany Salmon. As an adoptive mom herself, she offers a ton of wisdom and encouragement to adoptive parents. Adoption and cross-cultural adoption can be both hard and beautiful. There are opportunities here, though, for the adoptive family who is ready to commit more than love. Thanks to our Episode Sponsors! Crossway: https://www.crossway.org/Dwell Differently: https://dwelldifferently.com/ Keep up with Brittany Salmon: http://brittanynsalmon.com/ It Takes More than Love: A Christian Guide to Navigating the Complexities of Cross-Cultural Adoption - https://amzn.to/3MvYDY7Resources to get involved with Vulnerable Families and Children: CASA - Court Appointed Special Advocate® (CASA) and guardian ad litem (GAL) volunteers are appointed by judges to advocate for children's best interests.https://nationalcasagal.org/ SAFE Families - Safe Families for Children seeks to keep children safe and families together. Safe Families for Children is rooted in faith, fueled by radical hospitality, disruptive generosity, and intentional compassion, to build a network of caring and compassionate volunteers to support families facing social isolation. https://safe-families.org/ Embrace Grace - Embrace Grace exists to help inspire and equip the church to love and encourage single and pregnant young women and their families. Women experiencing unexpected pregnancies receive practical, spiritual, and emotional support through our global support groups.https://embracegrace.com/our-story Brave Love - A pro-adoption movement dedicated to changing the perception of adoption by acknowledging birth moms for their brave decision.https://www.bravelove.org/ Project 127 - Helping churches and families in Colorado serve children through faith-based family preservation, kinship care, foster care & adoption since 2004.https://www.project127.org/ Resources for Foster and Adoptive Parents: Fostered: One Woman's Powerful Story of Finding Faith and Family through Foster Care, by Tori Hope Petersen - https://amzn.to/3MvlUcB Foster the Family: Encouragement, Hope, and Practical Help for the Christian Foster Parent, by Jamie Finn - https://amzn.to/47j0HdQ The Connected Parent: Real-Life Strategies for Building Trust and Attachment, by Karyn Purvis and Lisa Qualls - https://amzn.to/47jyfIF The Connected Child: Bring Hope and Healing to Your Adoptive Family, by by Karyn Purvis, David Cross, and Wendy Lyons Sunshine - https://amzn.to/3QMpmBX Cam Lee Small - https://therapyredeemed.wordpress.com/ Books from the adopted perspective. Not Christian, but helpful: Adopting Hope: Stories and Real Life Advice from Birthparents, Adoptive Parents, and Adoptees, by Lorri Antosz Benson - https://amzn.to/3QMUnWASurviving the White Gaze: A Memoir, by Rebecca Carroll - https://amzn.to/3QtWY6f All You Can Ever Know: A Memoir, by Nicole Chung - https://amzn.to/3QqGMmr Research mentioned on the episode: https://aspe.hhs.gov/sites/default/files/private/pdf/264526/MEPA-Graphical-Factsheet.pdf https://time.com/the-realities-of-raising-a-kid-of-a-different-race/https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-changing-face-of-adoption-in-the-united-stateshttps://adoptionnetwork.com/adoption-myths-facts/domestic-us-statistics/
Frank Santo Franksanto.net @FrankSanto13 Buy The Birthparents here http://www.tortoisebooks.com/ Gateway books Pride and Prejudice Sometimes a Great Notion - Ken Kesey Currently reading/looking forward to/recently enjoyed Broken Bottles - Anthony Koranda God, Human, Animal, Machine - Meghan O'Gieblyn Desert Island Books Catch-22 - Heller One-Hundred Years of Solitude - GGM The Quiet American - Greene Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro The Flashman Series Sommerset Maugham - Of Human Bondage Brave New World - Huxley Milan Kundera - The Joke Ismael Reed - Mumbo Jumbo Thomas Bernhard - Extinction
Challenging the Adoption System with Chester Jackson "The journey is more about being on the path more than off... The hardest part about being an adoptive parent is you're almost guaranteed to be disappointed because your motivation and your drive and everything you're thinking is involved around some fantasy child. It's not about that real human." -- Chester Jackson Discovering the truth can be as exhilarating as it is terrifying. It can shatter the very foundation of your identity, leaving you scrambling to pick up the pieces. Chester Jackson's life seemed like a harmonious melody until a single piece of paper sent him spiraling into a world of unanswered questions and hidden secrets. Brace yourself as we delve into Chester's journey, where he unearths the unexpected twist that forever changed his life. ===============
In this episode of Real Talk, KJK Student Defense Attorneys Susan Stone and Kristina Supler are joined by Becca Gruenspan of RG Adoption Consulting. In this episode, topics include the myths around adoption, how adoptive parents can improve their chances of a successful adoption, and the competing emotions between birth parents, adoptive parents, and the adopted child. Links: RG Adoption Consulting: https://rgadoptionconsulting.com/ Show Notes: (02:40) How One Adoption Lead to a Purpose-Filled Mission (06:39) Why Becca focuses on domestic adoptions (08:47) Greatest Fear: Will the Birth Mother Show Up Again? (11:03) Adoption Roadmap: the Proprietary Process to Help Adopting Parents (13:54) Details Matter: What is Important to the Birth Mother (15:16) How RG Adoptive Consulting Helps Improve the Chances of Success (17:36) What Some of the Difficult Obstacles are for Adoptive Parents (19:31) Addiction: How Babies Fare When Born Addicted to Drugs (21:26) Competing Emotions: What Birth Parents and Adoptive Parents Feel (24:43) What Adoptive Children Struggle with Emotionally Transcript: Susan Stone: We're gonna talk about adoption today. And the reason we're gonna talk about adoption is that in our special education practice, we've represented a number of families of adopted kids, and the unique issues that children or students who are adopted had such as, attachment issues. Kristina Supler: I'm really excited about today's episode. Because Susan Adoption's something that, you and I have no direct personal experience with. But it's an issue that comes up so often in our cases. And we regularly see the issues that adopted children's often experience in schools. And then the issues that the PA parents and families navigate through as well. Susan Stone: I agree. And at this point I think I've worked on close to 50 to a hundred cases where there has been a student with an issue that is direct, directly related to the fact of the adoption status. But again, by the time you come to our office, it's because there is a need or a crisis or an issue that needs to be worked out. I hate the fact that I never get to hear the success stories. Kristina Supler: I know. I'm excited for today's guests to, to learn more about the adoption process, some of the challenges, but then also the good things and the success. Because you're right, Susan, we don't often hear about that so Susan Stone: We never, I just wanna remind you, remember I always say we only get to see the dark side of life sometimes. It's great to see when things go swimmingly well. Kristina Supler: With that, let's welcome our guest today. We are joined by Rebecca Gruenspan. And Becky is a single mom who herself has gone through open adoption. She founded RG Adoption Consulting shortly after adopting her son in 2011. And we're so happy to have you with us today. Susan Stone: And do you go by Becky, Rebecca. Becca Gruenspan: Becca. Susan Stone: Thank you. Okay, Kristina Supler: Becca, tell us a little bit about your role as the Founder and CEO of RG Adoption Consulting. Becca Gruenspan: Thanks for having me today. I started my business, we're about to be celebrating our 10 year anniversary. Um, wow. Susan Stone: A decade. Becca Gruenspan: Yes, we're very excited. I started it two years after I adopted my son as a single woman, at the time who had gone through years of infertility and just really knew I was meant to be a mom. And I really wanted to be a mom. So I sought out first on the fertility path. And after that I failed, for lack of a better word. I thought about adoption. But it really scared me probably for all the reasons you said you don't hear the good side. I was scared 'cause that was all I knew to, as well as all the stories I put into my head about what it meant to have to, to adopt. And then I was put in touch with, and it was also very overwhelming having gone through so much loss already. And long story short, I was put in touch with an adoption consultant. And I was told that this consultant was gonna hold my hand, tell me what to do, and how to do it and where to go and what to read and what not to read. And I was like, okay, I could use an easy button I'm around about now. And nine months to the day that I first called my consultant, I had my son in my arms. Susan Stone: So it was a great experience using a consultant. Correct? Becca Gruenspan: It was. Interestingly, I was told because I was in my forties and single and Jewish, that it was gonna be really hard for me. But voila, nine months later, I adopted. So it was a very, great experience. Also scary. And I knew that, after I adopted my son, I wanted to help other people and I became this magnet to people who wanted to adopt. And I was very, passionate about the fact that they really needed help going through this. Because you don't know what you don't know. Sure. Long short, two years later, I became an a consultant myself. And I thought, gosh, I'm putting all this money into my consultant that I use Pocket. I think I can do this now. I. and so that's when I started my business. Susan Stone: Kristina. I had the privilege of actually going to yoga and having dinner with Becca. And I learned that Becca's not alone in this venture. How many people work for your business? Becca Gruenspan: Yeah, I think there, my team is seven or eight people right now. And we are all across the country. And we only work with the hopeful adoptive parent. We do not work with the birth mom or expectant mom. So that's really a distinct, a distinction between an adoption consultant and other entities such as a facilitator or an adoption agency. We are not. Susan Stone: So you are hired by the potential parents. And I just for clarification purposes, you only work on domestic, not international adoptions. Am I Correct? Becca Gruenspan: You are correct. Kristina Supler: Tell us why. But what's the difference between the two. Or why did you choose to just focus on domestic? Becca Gruenspan: I can't even talk to you that much about the difference between the two because there is a big difference. And so it's like you go down one path or the other, as well as like foster to adopt. That's a whole nother path as well. Each path has its own nuances, its own clearances, its own licensing. And it's done. Each is done very differently and is its own separate path, even though the end result is being an adoptive parent. So I didn't know anything much about, international. I know just enough about all three routes that I just mentioned to talk about the pros and cons of each. But not enough to really guide someone through those, those paths. Susan Stone: Certainly if you chose domestic and that's what your business is focused on. Can you tell us what the benefits are of a domestic adoption? Becca Gruenspan: Sure. I think the biggest benefit is the fact that most domestic adoptions now are open on some level. Now that automatically scares people. And people have all sorts of questions about, is that a good thing? Aren't you scared that your child is gonna want to go back? Is, aren't you scared that someone's gonna show up at your doorstep? And the fact of the matter is 20 years ago, most adoptions were closed. And what that does is create a sense of fantasy in a child's mind about where they came from and who they are instead of a reality and an openness about. Everybody wants to know who they are and where they came from, right? Your identity is such a huge part. It's everything, of who you are. And so by able, by being able to have an open adoption, you can know health history, you can have a relationship with the first mom or the birth mom and the birth dad. You can see what kind of life they have. So a child is no longer needing to live in this fantasy world of where they came from, who they are, what other people look like them. There's so much good about a healthy, open adoption relationship. And that doesn't mean it doesn't come with some complications. Sometimes it does. And healthy boundaries need to be put in place. It's Cousins, right? Having, you don't, you're not best friends with all of your cousins in your extended family. But you learn how to live together and navigate the relationship. And some are great and super, super close. And some are a little bit more difficult and you have to, manage that. Kristina Supler: Well, it's interesting to hear you talk about the benefits of open adoption, but also the importance of boundaries. Because I know that sometimes, there's a fear. if we do an adult, an open adoption, the birth mom's gonna come back and haunt us or try to take the child back. Is Susan Stone: Well Becca just mentioned it. People think they're gonna show up at the door. Kristina Supler: How realistic, of course there's always extremes. But in general, is that. Just a myth that's taken hold? Or is it something that rarely happens or can you talk a little more about that? Becca Gruenspan: It is absolutely a myth. It really, I don't. I don't even think I know one situation where that's happened. The laws Kristina Supler: that's really a powerful piece of information there. Yeah. That you just shared with us. Becca Gruenspan: The laws are in place to protect everyone really. And every state, and this is the confusing part, every state has its own set of laws around when a mother can terminate her rights, like at what point after birth can a mom terminate her rights as a parent. And at what point It's irrevocable. So every state has different laws. So for instance, we tend to work in states where an expectant mom can sign her rights away can terminate her parental rights between 24 to 72 hours and then it's irrevocable. You cannot change your mind by law. Unless you can prove that it, they were made to sign under duress or fraud. Susan Stone: You mean 22 to 72 hours? I wanna clarify after birth. Becca Gruenspan: I'm sorry, ask me that again. Susan Stone: You said 22 4 to 72 hours, but you, I just wanna clarify for our listeners. You mean after the birth of the child? Becca Gruenspan: After the birth of the child. Now that's just some states. Every state has different laws about the length of time you have to wait. Some they can sign right away. But then they have 30 days to change their mind. That's scary for an expectant, for an adoptive parent. That's also nerve wracking, I would think, for a birth mom who just gave birth, who had already kind of worked through all of this. Hopefully they were getting good options, counseling and went through all the things to make sure that the, this decision was the right decision for them. But again, every state has their own laws and we tend to work in the ones that are more compact. Susan Stone: So does your business focus on the potential parent that wants to adopt until what point? Do you take them through when the baby gets in their hands? Or are you there to provide support and services throughout the life of the adoption, the childhood. Becca Gruenspan: Great question, and this is I think, what differentiates maybe RG Adoption Consulting from other consultants. So we have a four step proprietary process called the Adoption Roadmap. Kristina Supler: Very, tell us about the roadmap. Becca Gruenspan: Yeah, take a second. The adoption roadmap has four different steps to it. So we work with to, to answer your question simply, we work with people from the very, very beginning. I wanna start the process and I don't know how. All the way their contract ends once they bring their baby home. However, we work with our families for a lifetime. So the four steps are this: one is we educate people about adoption. So we want people to understand what the process is going to look like before they start it. So that there's not any real surprises as they're going through the process and then we help them, find the right places to go to get what's called a home study, which is the legal process that they have to go through to be approved to be able to adopt a baby. So every person has to go through what's called a home study. Somebody comes to your home, they interview the people in the family, they make sure you have the right finances, they do FBI clearances, all of that to be able to make sure that you are who you say you are. And that you are able and well to take care of a baby or a child in your home. And then the second step is the storybook process where you put together what's called an adoption profile. It's a storybook of your life through pictures and letters. Think Shutterfly book. But we do even nicer ones 'cause we work with a designer. So we help them do that because that is the sole tool that's used for an expectant mom to choose who she wants or who they want if dad's involved too, to parent their child. Susan Stone: Wow. Is it like a dating app almost? a more detailed book. Kristina Supler: Pitch for your family, right? Yeah. Yeah. Becca Gruenspan: you're really showing an expectant mom. What is your child gonna look like in our life? Let me try to give you a little bit of a picture, a little bit of peek into our window of life. Susan Stone: Wow. Tell us what goes in that book. I'm so fascinated. Becca Gruenspan: Yeah, it's really cool. And this is where I love working with families 'cause I get to know them on such a Kristina Supler: deeper, I'm sure that process personalizes everything for Susan Stone: like, you show the house, the family dog, the kitchen, what's in the cupboard. Becca Gruenspan: You know what? That might be a good thing. I'm gonna use that next time. What's in the, what's in your cupboards? But those, funny you should ask that, but sometimes it's exactly those little details. Sure. Mom like, go, oh my god. I can relate to this. Or I love this about them. and sometimes people don't realize how important those little details are in their life. Who are their friends? What are the, what does their friend makeup look like? Is it diverse? is it not diverse? Does everybody look the same? Does anybody have tattoos? Do they not? Do you have dogs? What does your family look like? Where do you go on vacation? Where do you work? All those things are really important. And so the pictures are important. The words are important. The stories are important to really relay and get the feeling of your personality across. So it's, I hate to use the word marketing tool, but if you're gonna if anything, it is a marketing tool on who your family is. And a lot of people don't understand either that in most cases, an expectant mom chooses the family. So it's like they both choose each other. She first chooses them. But then they have to also say, yeah, I, after learning about her and her situation, we choose her too. And then a match is made. Kristina Supler: Becca. I'm wondering,if a family, an individual or a family really want to adopt domestically, how likely is it for to be successful in the process? Are there instances, is it common for a family to maybe not, be chosen or be able to adopt? Or in the US is it generally if a family or individual wants to adopt, they'll be able to? Becca Gruenspan: Yeah. So to help answer that question, I'm going to explain my step three in the process, which is where they put together their agency portfolio. So let me ask you guys a question, and this is a question I always pose to people wanting to find out about our process. When you go to a financial planner and you say, here's a million dollars I wanna invest, wouldn't that be nice? First of all. Do you, will that financial planners say, great. We're gonna put it all into this one stock. No, you diversify. Exactly. And that's the strategy that I use with my family. So instead of putting all your eggs in one basket and signing up with one agency, say, we're gonna pick the largest agency. It's $15,000 up front. And we're gonna, they have great success. I say, why don't we sign up with three or four agencies for $5,000? And that way you're at way more places. Plus when agencies and attorneys are stuck and either don't have the right family for what an expected mom is looking for. Or maybe they don't even keep a list because sometimes that's a pain for them. They'll reach out to me and say, do you have any families for this particular situation? So now I have a family who's at four agencies that they've signed up with. Plus I'm getting situations every month that I'm sending to them. Their chances of matching successfully are so much higher because their profiles in front of more people. They're seeing more situations. So to answer your question, it's very high percentage of people who are successful. In fact, the people that I have worked with who have not been successful are really, truly only the people who give up. If you don't give up, your chances are very high to adopt. Susan Stone: Are there certain adoptions that are more difficult, such as you mentioned that you were single Jewish female? Are interracial differences a problem, same sex couples, like what is the most, is there, I'm just curious about the difference Kristina Supler: Profiles that are chosen more often or, less frequently. Becca Gruenspan: So the ones that are most difficult are families with multiple children already. I'd say if. If it's a couple, if you're both over 50, but, and if you're single over 50, that's gonna be more difficult. I can see that. Yeah. Yeah. And then the more narrow your criteria is, the more difficult it's gonna be. As open as you can be, the easier it's gonna be. So sometimes people will come in and have a gender preference and have a preference on are very narrow on, they don't want any drug exposure or they don't want any mental health. Yeah. And that's gonna be much more difficult 'cause then we're looking for more of a unicorn. And that's, those people are not placing their babies. Yeah, those people aren't the children. They cannot, handle because of their life situation to parent at that time. So you have to be wow open and you have to do a lot of education to understand who is an expectant mom. And typically it's a woman who has multiple children already. Who can't hold down her job because she can't afford childcare and parenting. Who can't afford another child and maybe just lost her condo. So is going from family member to family member or friend to live with heart. Heartbreaking. Yeah. And maybe,birth father isn't involved. And he has five other children of his own that he doesn't support either. This is just one scenario. There is no two scenarios that are the same. Susan Stone: How do the kiddos that have come from birth mothers who have used alcohol and or drugs fair? We deal with those, that population and it, the cases again, that we see, it's a rough road Kristina Supler: Right. The, the impact of fetal alcohol syndrome is lifelong. Becca Gruenspan: Yeah. The good news is we do not see alcohol as an issue as much as drugs. And opioids, we all know about the opioid epidemic in the world. And that certainly translates into the expectant moms and the birth moms that we are seeing and that our clients are working with. alcohol is, is rare. More rare Susan Stone: With the babies, how long do those babies go through withdrawal at Becca Gruenspan: birth? Yeah. What I have seen with through my client's eyes is typically three to five days. Oh. Sometimes less, sometimes more. But the good news is these babies are so resilient. And we have had many a, an adoption medicine doctor speak to our community and the children fare very well. They do well once they go through that with withdrawal. And I'm talking the drugs more than the alcohol. But opioids they tend to thrive really, and grow up just like any other, child as it pertains to those, that substance exposure. Kristina Supler: You're listening to, you speak it, it's really reminding me or making me think about what a complex process adoption is emotionally In terms of, for the parents or individual who are adopting the child. It's an exciting and happy time. Maybe, some anxiety as well. But at the same time, how do you reconcile that with the idea that perhaps a beautiful thing in your life is beginning on the heels of a heartbreak or a tragedy in someone else's life. Whether it's substance abuse or whatever the circumstances are for why the child is being put into the adoption system. And so how do you, how do you talk to parents about that or prepare them to work through all those competing emotions? Becca Gruenspan: Well, you hit the nail on the head. Because every adoption starts with trauma. It starts with loss. And it is. Imagine being in a hospital. And on one side, and I have the chills talking about it on one side. Susan Stone: Oh my gosh. Me too. I'm just thinking about it. Becca Gruenspan: Are so excited that their dream is coming true. On the other side, you have a woman who is doing the most difficult thing that she could ever do in her life. And probably is really suffering because of this decision that she had to make for whatever reason. And in the middle. You have a child that is feeling maybe not consciously yet, both sides of that. So this child is growing up having experienced loss for the very first breaths of their lives. And that stays with them. We try to do another thing that really differentiates RG Adoption Consulting is that is the education component. So education and community, I believe, are two things that you cannot go through this process without. You need education, which never ends. I am almost 12 years in and I learned something all the time about what my child is experiencing and the different developmental stages and what, how they process identity issues at different stages. And if I didn't commit to continually learning, I. from adoption professionals and trauma specialists, I wouldn't understand how to be the best parent for my child. So when when you choose adoption, you really have to know that it's at least an 18 year commitment. And that you have to commit yourself to continuing to learn about your child. Because if you don't, your child is going to, No, it's gonna affect your child. And ultimately, everybody wants to be a good parent to their child, right? And if you're not doing the work, that's only going to get in between your relationship with you and your child. And so there are so many layers. So education and community, just being around people who have, who understand this in a way that nobody else does, you know as well-meaning as our friends and families are. They don't know. Susan Stone: I just wanna interrupt. I remember when we had dinner. Yeah. And I made the comment that children who get to land in wonderful homes are so lucky. And you really corrected me rightly so that is not a great way to frame adoption. Because there are aspects that are unlucky. And we all have visions of Daddy Warbucks and Orphan Nanny, and everybody's dancing off the stage. But we have to remember that as wonderful as your adoptive parents are, children are conflicted. When does that conflict get integrated? Or does it ever, if ever, yeah. Becca Gruenspan: You know that term lucky, right? Everybody can feel lucky. Individually at different stages throughout this process, right? From all different, we call it the adoption triad or the adoption constellation. So it's the adoptive parent, the birth parent, and the, adoptee. If somebody says to my child, wow, you're so lucky. You guys are so lucky you have each other. That doesn't give my child who may be struggling internally, because of the adoption, that doesn't give him room to have those feelings of, wow, why does, struggle of all the feels. Because that puts so much pressure on him to have to feel like, oh, I'm supposed to be really grateful to my grateful. Yeah. And that's a lot of pressure for someone to go through life feeling I can't ever talk about what I'm experiencing as an adoptee. I don't look the same as anyone else in my family. But I'm supposed to be this one way because everybody tells me how lucky I am. Kristina Supler: That is really powerful food for thought, Susan. I would've made the same, gaff that you did. And I, it's just, a different perspective that I'd never thought about and, I hear you, Becca. That's really, thank you for sharing that. Because I hadn't really thought about, the alternative considerations. Susan Stone: And when I made the comment and you responded in such a poignant way, it's obviously stuck with me. And I probably will stick with me for life because I was like, wow, not that all children. I know I have the talk with my kids. You don't appreciate me. I think all parents that feel that way. Have you ever said that Kristina Supler: to your kids? Never. I feel appreciated and valued every day. Yeah. Susan Stone: yeah. I'm still working on it and my oldest is 25. But and I do say that to my kids. Show a little gratitude. But, we have to remember the circumstances. Becca, I could talk to you forever and in fact, this is my second time talking to you and I still have more. So we might have to do a part two with you. Okay. I would love that. And it's just great having you as Kristina Supler: it's been wonderful talking. Yeah. And a lot of good information, for our listeners out there. And we are really appreciative of your time today. So thank you. Becca Gruenspan: Thank you. Thank you.
This week, we are joined by Holly. Holly talks us through a step-by-step process of being estranged from her family. We speak about estrangement from both parents and some siblings, the rationale behind her choices and how it has helped her currently. We also discuss aspects of her life when she experienced abuse and financial mistreatment. Finally, we talk about all things self-care and how to prioritise ourselves. Book a RANT session here. Anonymously send your eldest daughter confessions here Find us on Twitter, Instagram and TikTok Email us: hello@homegirlsunite.com
Creating a Family: Talk about Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care
Everyone connected to adoption needs to listen to this show. We talk about a new research report on how birth parents experience adoption. The results will surprise you! Our guest are the two main authors: Ryan Hanlon is the Executive Director of The National Council for Adoption, the national adoption organization providing resources and education for all people and organizations in the adoption world and advocating for sound adoption policies; and Laura Bruder is the Executive Director of Brave Love, an organization dedicated to changing the perception of adoption by acknowledging birth moms for their brave decision.In this episode, we cover:The Birth Parent Experiences report is based on the responses of 1,160 birth mothers and 239 birth fathers.Were these all domestic infant adoption rather than adoptions from foster care?Birth mothers who placed their child for adoption in 2010 or later were much more likely to report satisfaction with their decision than birth mothers who placed their child before or during the 1970s. Birth mothers' levels of satisfaction with their adoption decision increased each decade since the 1970s.The vast majority of birth mothers report experiencing stigma associated with their status as a birth parent. In fact, the percentage of birth mothers who experience some level of stigma about their decision to place their child for adoption has risen 20% since 1970.What is the demographic of the birth moms and dads who completed the survey? (age, race, education, number of adoption placementsHow has birth parent involvement in the adoption process changed?What factors were important to expectant moms and dads when choosing adoptive parents?What were the main concerns that birth moms had after placement? Looking back, do birth parents believe they made the right decision?What type of services and support do birth parents want and need post-placement? 78% of birth moms have contact with their child, and about 74% of birth fathers do. We don't know if these are open adoptions or if the “child” is now an adult. Are they satisfied with this contact?Are they satisfied with their decision to place a child for adoption? What factors influenced their level of satisfaction?The research found that birth parents' receipt of accurate information was significantly associated with adoption satisfaction for both birth mothers and birth fathers. What do you mean by accurate information?What percentage of birth parents reported that they were actively involved in choosing the adoptive parents, and did that influence their overall satisfaction with their decision?Three variables (receipt of accurate information, non-coerced decision-making, current contact with the child) were found to be the most strongly associated with levels of adoption satisfaction.Stigma of being a birth parent.Has stigma increased since the 1970s?Does stigma differ by race of the birth parent?Interesting that stigma increased from the 1970s to now for healthcare workers.This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsSupport the showPlease leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamily
Bryan Kehl is a former NFL football player for the New York Giants, Washington Redskins, St. Louis Rams, and the Kansas City Chiefs. Bryan was also adopted, and at age 24 decided to try to track down his birth parents. This episode is different from all previous episodes in several ways. First, I just wanted to hear Bryan's story in detail, so this episode is significantly longer than a typical episode. And secondly, this is the first episode that has made me cry, let alone multiple times. Bryan's story is emotional, funny, and devastating. I hope you enjoy learning from Bryan Kehl today because I always do.
Supporting Birth Parents during adoption is critical for building a strong relationship. Active listening and emotional support to respect their decisions and privacy can go a long way in building a thriving relationship for the adoption triad. This comprehensive guide offers actionable tips and real-life examples of building a respectful and supportive relationship with birth parents, whether you're an adoptive parent, a social worker, or someone looking to learn more about being there for birth parents.Join The Adoption Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/myadoptioncoachDetermine Your Method of Private Adoption Matching: https://www.myadoptioncoach.com/pathwayLearn To Adopt: https://www.myadoptioncoach.com/programCreate/Share Your Adoption Profile: https://www.myadoptioncoach.com/profiletraining Join our Facebook Group here: www.facebook.com/groups/myadoptioncoach
There is so much unnecessary fears and misunderstandings surrounding birth parents and birth families. In this episode, we're working to clear it up. Last week we were grateful and honored to have the amazing and wonderful Ashley Mitchell join us for Insight Virtual Conference 2023. The Q&A portion of her session was so moving and powerful that we knew we had to make it a stand-alone podcast episode. In this episode, Mike and Ashley spend time clearing up unwarranted fears, the truth about extended family, how to set up boundaries with birth parents who aren't in a healthy place, and much more. It's fun, colorful, and insightful. You will love Ashley's heart! A Little More About Ashley... Ashley Mitchell, owner of Big Tough Girl and Founder + Executive Director of Lifetime Healing Foundation, set out to seek increased care, understanding, and resources for birth mothers. For over a decade, Ashley has been one of the most consistent and sought after birth mother voices in the nation. Well known for her vulnerability and transparency in adoption, her story has touched the hearts of countless members of the adoption community and beyond. How To Connect With Ashley... Follow her on Instagram Check out Ashley's website Learn about Lifetime Healing Foundation You can still get access to the Insight Virtual Conference 2023 replays and take home more than 15 hours of amazing and indepth training content! Click Here. Thanks for stopping by this week ;-)
#20. Lily Petit - Adoption: Costs, process, birth parents, resources, and future adoptive parents. by Vasiliy Frantsevich
Queer Korean adoptee Midnite Townsend, 38, is many things. A large part of her/their past has been as a performer; first training to enter the world of musical theater to realizing her/their real desires were better applied to the art of burlesque and drag king performance. Midnite's throughline has been a quest for authenticity - and the test of whether loved ones around her/them would see her. Theme music: Jae Jin Other music appears under license with Blue Dot Sessions
Recoding Date: 1st March 2023In todays episode we discuss a variety of family law topics asked by my audience over on DiscordDisclosure: All participants are fully aware they are being broadcastedSocial LinksDISCORD: https://discord.gg/dryJCTwncZINSTAGRAM: https://instagram.com/thelegalqueenFACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/TheLegalQueeenTIKTOK: https://tiktok.com/@thelegalqueenYOUTUBE: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC016jzDlE5HNzlZDkcQ9Gfg
Birth Mother Matters in Adoption Season 3, Episode 220; Growing Up Adopted Listen to Co-Host Kelly Rourke-Scarry as she discusses what it was like to grow up as an adoptee in the 1970s and 1980s. Learn about the differences between then and now, how these changes are for the better and why it was so important for the changes to occur. Learn more about adoption from the "Adoptee Angle" of the Adoption Triad. Spread Adoption Awareness. Listen. Learn. Love. Adoption.
Brandon Bishop grew up in Stevenson, AL, attended the University of Alabama, and established roots and raising his family in Madison. Brandon shares the interesting circumstance in which he met his wife, Trina, and how they would later become foster parents even with their own biological children. We discuss the obstacles and myths that still prevail delaying qualified individuals and couples from starting the process of fostering or adopting a child. Brandon shares many stories and insights from his many experiences as a foster parent, which proved to be both educational and emotional. Brandon is a songwriter and we discussed the lyrics to a song he wrote entitled "You're Doin it Wrong" and then watched it performed by Christina Lynn. Brandon is definitely a selfless person who leads a selfless life and you will be amazed to hear the other things he is involved with all aimed at community building. Episode Timeline: 00:00 Start 00:25 Episode Recap 03:00 Intro 05:53 MCFAPA Overview 12:05 Meeting Trina 17:04 Beginning the Foster Journey 21:40 Re-energizing 25:45 Myths of Fostering 32:30 Relationship with Birth Parents 41:28 Focusing on the Child 50:20 Reuniting with a Former Foster 52:39 Rules and Parenting Style 01:01:20 Kids Opening Up 01:05:02 Taking Care of the Host Family 01:10:27 "You're Doing it Wrong" 01:23:55 Personal/Solo Time 01:28:40 Music Producers 01:33:23 Picture Pack 01:54:53 The Quick 6 02:09:45 What would an Ad say? 02:12:04 Conclusion For more information on MCFAPA visit https://mcfapa.life For more information on Alabama's Foster and Adoptive Parent Association visit https://afapa.org Host/Interviewer: M. Troy Bye, Owner, Our Town Podcast Website: www.ourtownpodcast.net Spotify Channel: https://spoti.fi/3QtpT8z Audio available on all platforms - just search for "Our Town Podcast" Follow us on social media: LinkedIn: http://bit.ly/41rlgTt Facebook: https://bit.ly/ourtownpodcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ourtownpodcast/ TikTok: http://bit.ly/3XIFsgo
Psychologist Thomas Ahern speaks on the topic of developmental trauma as he recounts his life story beginning at 3 days old followed by a 43 year long search to find his birth parents. We do not release the recording of any story unless given permission to do so by the client. The majority of our work is not listed on this podcast. If you have interest in documenting your story or gifting our services to a loved one, mosey on over to our website here: www.tobetoldagain.com You can you also connect with us via email, Instagram, LinkedIn, or Facebook: Email: tobetoldagain.co@gmail.com Insta @tobetoldagain LinkedIn: To Be Told Again Facebook: To Be Told Again Don't forget to follow To Be Told Again on your favorite podcast player so that you don't miss an episode and if you can, please take a moment to rate or write a review for the show. It would be greatly appreciated!
Creating a Family: Talk about Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care
Transracial adoption affects all parts of the adoption triad. We will talk today with a transracial adoptee and his birth mom and adopted mom. We will include tips for adoptive parents raising transracially adopted or fostered child.In this episode, we cover:Adoptee's experience with transracial adoption PreschoolElementary yearsMiddle and high school yearsCode switchingFeelingsIdentity formationCollegeAdulthoodReunion with birth familyBirth Father?Birth Mother's experience with reunion and transracial adoptionHer role in identity formationHer feelings on reunionAdoptive Mother's experience with transracial adoptionTips for adoptive and foster parentsAdditional Information:Kyle Bullock's Instagram: kb_2090Short documentary based on story of Kyle and his birth family and adoptive family. “Finding identity: Growing up a transracial adoptee” This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family buildingPlease leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamilySupport the show
In a special LIVE show, Dr. Charlotte Laws reunites with Dr. Drew to discuss the aftermath of the events in Netflix's explosive docuseries "The Most Hated Man On The Internet" and to reveal what's happened in the 10 years since her appearance on Dr. Drew's HLN TV show that helped expose Hunter Moore's crimes to the world. After a topless photo of Charlotte Laws' daughter was hacked and posted on a revenge porn website, Laws worked tirelessly for two years to bring the website owner (Hunter Moore) to justice. He eventually went to prison. Laws is known throughout the world as the “Erin Brockovich of revenge porn.” To date, she has helped over 500 victims of nonconsensual pornography, sextortion, and morphed porn. She has also assisted legislators in getting anti-revenge porn laws passed throughout the U.S. and hopes a federal law will be in place soon. Dr. Charlotte Laws is an author, columnist, and public speaker. She was the star of the NBC show, “The Filter” (4 years), a political pundit on BBC television (6 years), and a southern California politician (councilmember and city commissioner - 8 years). She has had over 30 different jobs, some quite unusual: lecturer at the FBI Academy in Quantico, private eye, director of a legal corporation, cab driver, actress, chip chatter, fashion designer, nurse, backup singer for an Elvis imitator, bodyguard, magazine cover girl, Realtor, stand-up comic, et al. Laws was voted “one of the 30 fiercest women in the world” by Buzzfeed and is the recipient of the Los Angeles Animal Humanitarian Award. Follow her at https://twitter.com/CharlotteLaws Read Charlotte's latest book "Undercover Debutante: The Search for my Birth Parents and a Bald Husband" Ask Dr. Drew is produced by Kaleb Nation (https://kalebnation.com) and Susan Pinsky (http://twitter.com/firstladyoflove). This show is for entertainment and/or informational purposes only, and is not a substitute for medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. SPONSORED BY • GENUCEL - Using a proprietary base formulated by a pharmacist, Genucel has created skincare that can dramatically improve the appearance of facial redness and under-eye puffiness. Genucel uses clinical levels of botanical extracts in their cruelty-free, natural, made-in-the-USA line of products. Get 10% off with promo code DREW at https://genucel.com/drew GEAR PROVIDED BY • BLUE MICS - After more than 30 years in broadcasting, Dr. Drew's iconic voice has reached pristine clarity through Blue Microphones. But you don't need a fancy studio to sound great with Blue's lineup: ranging from high-quality USB mics like the Yeti, to studio-grade XLR mics like Dr. Drew's Blueberry. Find your best sound at https://drdrew.com/blue • ELGATO - Every week, Dr. Drew broadcasts live shows from his home studio under soft, clean lighting from Elgato's Key Lights. From the control room, the producers manage Dr. Drew's streams with a Stream Deck XL, and ingest HD video with a Camlink 4K. Add a professional touch to your streams or Zoom calls with Elgato. See how Elgato's lights transformed Dr. Drew's set: https://drdrew.com/sponsors/elgato/
Creating a Family: Talk about Infertility, Adoption & Foster Care
We talk with Ryan Hanlon, with National Council for Adoption, about the largest survey of adoptive parents ever conducted. We talk about who adoptive parents are, the needs of the kids adopted, and so much more. In the episode, we cover:Who is adopting in the US? How are they similar and how do they differ from the general population of parents in relation to income and education level?What are the primary motivations for parents to adopt? Does it differ based on domestic infant adoption, international adoption, and foster care adoption?What type of special needs or diagnoses do adopted children have?How well are adoptive parents meeting these needs?How are adopted kids doing in school?What degree of openness or contact with birth families is common for infant adoption, intercountry adoption, and adoptions from foster care?How do adoptive parents view their relationship with birth families?How common are attachment issues in adoption and what factors contribute to attachment problems?How are parents meeting the needs of transracially adopted children?How satisfied are adoptive parents with the decision to adopt? Knowing what they know now, would they do it again?This podcast is produced by www.CreatingaFamily.org. We are a national non-profit with the mission to strengthen and inspire adoptive, foster & kinship parents and the professionals who support them. Creating a Family brings you the following trauma-informed, expert-based content:Weekly podcastsWeekly articles/blog postsResource pages on all aspects of family buildingPlease leave us a rating or review RateThisPodcast.com/creatingafamilySupport the show
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The Adoption Connection | a podcast by and for adoptive parents
Jennifer has a unique perspective because of the opportunity she's had to walk through the adoption journey as a birthmother and also as an adoptive mother. Faced with an unplanned pregnancy in college, Jennifer chose to place her son for adoption. After marrying her husband, Rusty in 2005, God led them through infertility to reveal His plan for them to grow their family through adoption. Through the very same agency that Jennifer placed her son, they were given the chance to become parents to two more sons. "As parents of adopted children, we have the sometimes difficult job of teaching them to embrace their stories. No matter what hard places they come from, those roots and their birth family are a piece of their identity that we must love and honor. By doing that, we give our children the confidence to love themselves because of the honor and love that we show.” As an adoptive mom, Jennifer has been given the opportunity to use the rejection and loss that she feels as a birthmother, to help her sons celebrate the life that they have been given and understand the love of their birthmothers. As you hear Jennifer's story and begin to see through the eyes and heart of a birthmother, may it help you more clearly identify ways to love your child by honoring the one who chose life for them. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Connect with Jennifer on Instagram Connect with Jennifer on IG Email Jennifer at jhiltebeitel@outlook.com
The Adoption Connection | a podcast by and for adoptive parents
Jennifer has a unique perspective because of the opportunity she's had to walk through the adoption journey as a birthmother and also as an adoptive mother. Faced with an unplanned pregnancy in college, Jennifer chose to place her son for adoption. After marrying her husband, Rusty in 2005, God led them through infertility to reveal His plan for them to grow their family through adoption. Through the very same agency that Jennifer placed her son, they were given the chance to become parents to two more sons. "As parents of adopted children, we have the sometimes difficult job of teaching them to embrace their stories. No matter what hard places they come from, those roots and their birth family are a piece of their identity that we must love and honor. By doing that, we give our children the confidence to love themselves because of the honor and love that we show.” As an adoptive mom, Jennifer has been given the opportunity to use the rejection and loss that she feels as a birthmother, to help her sons celebrate the life that they have been given and understand the love of their birthmothers. As you hear Jennifer's story and begin to see through the eyes and heart of a birthmother, may it help you more clearly identify ways to love your child by honoring the one who chose life for them. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links Connect with Jennifer on Instagram Connect with Jennifer on IG Email Jennifer at jhiltebeitel@outlook.com The Road Back to You* by Ian Morgan Cron and Suzanne Stabile *This is an affiliate link