Be Better, Stupid

This week, therapist and coach Kristina Hayer returns, and we go deep on how to deal with our negative feelings, how to manage them, and most importantly, how to take advantage of them.Sign up for my e-mail listFollow Kristina on IGSource PostTheme Song: Yawn by Nick Dorian

On this week's episode therapist and personal coach Kristina Hayer joins me, and we go deep on what to do with those annoying negative thoughts running around your annoying brain.Source PostKristina on IGSign up for my Email ListTheme: Yawn by Nick Dorian

In this episode, my conversation with dating and self-love coach Evin Rose continues. In this episode we focus on the constant mistakes we make when dating, why we choose the wrong people (hint: it's mostly because we don't listen to ourselves), and much more that will help you fix your love life.Check out Evin on InstagramSign up for my E-mail listTheme Song: Yawn by Nick Dorian

This week, relationship coach Evin Rose and I go deep, deep, deeeeeep on the importance of being able to love yourself A) Because that's important regardless of everything, but B) (and the reason you'll actually want to listen) that's the foundation to building a relationship that doesn't suck with someone else.Check out Evin's Virtual Valentine's Mini-RetreatSign up for my email listTheme Song: Yawn by Nick Dorian

Mike and I continue our in depth discussion about decision-making, and how to suck less at it in this part two of a two part episode. This one kicks ass, guys.Source PostGet my Free Ebook on Time Management: When to Be an IdiotTheme Song

Military officer Mike returns to the show to help break down how decision-making can be less painful, more effective, and how improved decision-making can make our lives less sucky.Don't forget to subscribe, and leave a nice rating, and review.Sign up for my e-mail list, and get a FREE E-bookTheme Song: Yawn by Nick Dorian

This week, Mindset and Habits Coach Mike Pietrzak and I go deep on how to be more self-aware. We go over specific exercises, tools, and a whole lot of quotes that help lead both of towards higher levels of self-awareness every day.Check it out!Sign up for my e-mail listTheme Song

Here's part two of my episode about ending the American Cold Civil War with Brendan, where we continue to go deep on how we can get better at talking and listening to each other, and how we can reunite as a people. Check it out!Part 1Source PostTheme Song

This week, national campaign worker Brendan and I go deep on how to heal divisions in America while also nudging the country in what we believe is a better direction.Spoiler alert: It involves us getting way better at being people.Sign up for my e-mail list, AND get an awesome free e-book on time management!Source PostTheme Song

This week, I talk with Life Coach Kimberly Cabot about the Handel method of life coaching, and getting your shit together. Most specifically, in this part one of a two-parter, we go deep on living with integrity.To get the massive benefits from the Handel method, check out the offer below!Inner.U LifeLearn to Human Better with Lauren Zander's online coaching course, Inner.U LIFE, the online coaching course that gives you the tools to get yourself unstuck, wildly happy, and thriving where it matters most to you: your relationship to your SELF, CAREER, LOVE, BODY, MONEY, TIME, and more. From wherever, whenever. Get Inner.U LIFE for just $325 with your coupon. (regular price $650). Receive lifetime access with your subscription which includes: 12 audio coaching sessions from Lauren Zander, 1 free private coaching session with an HG coach, access to Inner.University and the 6-week coaching bootcamp with an HG Coach, 14 homework assignments, the interactive Promise Tracker to accelerate your accountability and track your promises and consequences. Get Started with your BEBETTERSTUPID coupon at: https://bit.ly/2G1eaPYTalk to a human and see if Handel Group coaching options are right for you: https://bit.ly/2HoVrPeOn the web: HGLife.CoachFacebook.com/HGLifeCoachingOn Instagram @handelgroup-----Source PostTheme Song

In part two of this two-part episode featuring life coach Kimberly Cabot (of the Handel group), we go deep on the benefits of facing your shit, reframing your view of yourself, and not becoming your mother. Basically this episode is a deep dive into the bigger idea of becoming way better at being a person. Check out the offer below to see how Kimberly and others from the Handel group can transform your life.Inner.U LifeLearn to Human Better with Lauren Zander's online coaching course, Inner.U LIFE, the online coaching course that gives you the tools to get yourself unstuck, wildly happy, and thriving where it matters most to you: your relationship to your SELF, CAREER, LOVE, BODY, MONEY, TIME, and more. From wherever, whenever. Get Inner.U LIFE for just $325 with your coupon. (regular price $650). Receive lifetime access with your subscription which includes: 12 audio coaching sessions from Lauren Zander, 1 free private coaching session with an HG coach, access to Inner.University and the 6-week coaching bootcamp with an HG Coach, 14 homework assignments, the interactive Promise Tracker to accelerate your accountability and track your promises and consequences. Get Started with your BEBETTERSTUPID coupon at: https://bit.ly/2G1eaPYTalk to a human and see if Handel Group coaching options are right for you: https://bit.ly/2HoVrPeOn the web: HGLife.CoachFacebook.com/HGLifeCoachingOn Instagram @handelgroup----Source PostTheme Song

This week, my brother-in-law and I discuss how to be productive and improve your life in the very unproductive world of your homeGET ALL OF MY CONTENT SENT TO YOU!Source PostTheme Song: Yawn by Nick Dorian

The brilliant Hannah Kirk and I dig into failure, why it's by far the most important thing that can ever happen to you, and why the most important you can possibly do is reframe how you view failure.GET A FREE E-BOOK!Source PostTheme Song: "Yawn" by Nick Dorian

In this episode, my super insightful friend Mackenzie and I discuss one of the most important parts of making your life not suck--improving your default behaviors.GET A FREE E-BOOK AND SIGN UP FOR MY E-MAIL LIST!Source PostTheme Song: Yawn by Nick Dorian

In this episode my brilliant sister joins me to talk how we put people on pedestals in our lives, through the lens of the brilliant and sentient children's book: Everyone Poops.Get a free E-book and sign up for my totally awesome e-mail list!Theme Song: Yawn by Nick DorianSource Post

On this episode, my guest Christine and I break down why we we're bad at living in consideration of others, and how we can manage to suck less at it.Source PostGet my free E-book "When to Be an Idiot" AND sign up for my e-mail list!Theme Song: "Yawn" by Nick Dorian

In this episode, my guest Matt and I discuss the relationship we have with desiring money, pluses and minuses of this desire, and what we can do about it.Source PostGet a Free E-bookTheme Song

In this episode, my friend Danielle and I discuss the appropriate balance of Instagram in your life, the Instagram mentality that permeates our lives and what to do about it, and for some reason, Japan.GET A FREE E-BOOK AND SIGN UP FOR MY E-MAIL LISTSource PostTheme Song: Yawn by Nick Dorian

This episode is about how we spend our extremely finite seconds on this planet, and how to use the knowledge of their finiteness to like, you know, actually kind of care about them. It's about how to prioritize your time in order to live a life that is not just nice, but totally awesome.Source PostSIGN UP FOR MY E-MAIL LIST AND GET A FREE E-BOOK!Theme Song

My military friend Mike and I jump into part two of our discussion on what fear is, how to deal with it, and why most of your fears are totally stupid.Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast!Source PostSign Up For My E-Mail List AND Get a Kickass Free E-Book on Time ManagementTheme Song: "Yawn" by Nick Dorian

Source Post: http://bebetterstupid.com/most-of-your-fears-are-stupid/Theme Song: "Yawn" by Nick DorianGet a free f**king E-book and sign up for my e-mail list.My very special guest, 10-year military veteran Mike joins me for part one of a two parter about the many ways we can deal with our (mostly) very dumb fears.

In this episode, my brother-in-law and I break down, in light of recent events, how white people can better understand implicit racism, where their racial blind spots are, and just generally how to suck less.Source Post: How to Suck Less at Being WhiteTheme Song: "Yawn" by Nick Dorian

Source Article: http://bebetterstupid.com/when-to-not-stay-true-to-yourself/Theme Song: “Yawn” by Nick Dorian 00:00 – Introducing the podcast and the guest: my wife, Morgan. 00:38 – I introduce Morgan, and go in depth on my background. Morgan does as well, and we discuss how coming together is how we let go of a really rigid idea of ourselves. 07:16 – I read from my article about who I was in my old life—where I was a total shut-in who was addicted to a very specific idea of who I was. I also talk about how we (former me included) exalt those who stay true to themselves. But then I give an example of how sometimes staying true to yourself totally sucks. 10:12 – I give examples of how I didn’t change, as does Morgan. We dig into how this unwillingness to change was linked to greater insecurities that we had. We both felt pride in who we were that masked how we felt about that person not necessarily fitting into the world. Morgan brings up how important it is to stay flexible in who you are to really stay true to who you are. 16:03 – I go in depth about how we exalt stubborn individualism, and the negative results of this. 17:35 – I review this section and go in depth about how this is a mistake to exalt this behavior, and how we did that in ourselves. Morgan points out exactly how people who engage in this tend to be pretty insecure. 19:15 – I read from my article about how being happy with yourself isn’t enough. The problem, as I point out is that you miss out on the rest of life when you accept this as adequate. 20:06 – Morgan points out that when you’re happy with yourself, you miss opportunities to connect with others. She also astutely points out that being happy with yourself should be a feeling, not a state that you’re just in all the time. 22:44 – I read from my article about just how vital self-evaluation is, and how you need to really look at how your life is measuring up, and how you’re impacting the world around you. 24:23 – We talk about how you need in-person experiences to really see how you should be changing in life. I make the point that you can reconsider who you are all the time, and how you can still keep the best parts of yourself, but you can change the parts that suck. I talk about how important it is that there will be security blankets that you need to throw out if you want to advance in life. Morgan goes into detail about how to constantly re-evaluate yourself and where you are at a given moment. 29:03 – I read from my article about how hard it is to decide to change yourself because it’s such a hit on the ego. Fortunately, I’m able to find a solution. 30:37 – Morgan discusses how we resist change because it’s comfortable to fall back on a script that you have in your head, and it’s also an issue if you’re happy in your day to day. Even in that case, she argues, it’s important to still step outside of your comfort. 31:47 – In my final word, I talk about how it’s good to stay true to yourself, but only in the moment, not in some falsely permanent idea of who you are. 32:45 – Wrap up.

Source Post: http://bebetterstupid.com/the-idiots-guide-to-loving-humanity/ Theme Song: “Yawn” by Nick Dorian 00:00 – I introduce the episode. 0:51 – I introduce my guest, Mackenzie, and we talk about quarantining, and how especially in this time, the idea of kindness and love are things that are evolving. 04:29 – I start to read my source post, in which I point how much we love being kind and the idea of loving everyone, but we normally don’t really execute this in our own lives. 06:04 – I talk about how we’re evolutionarily predisposed to look out for ourselves except for the purpose of maintaining social bonds. Mackenzie talks about how we care for others by looking after ourselves, and how that’s kind of the source of all kindness. I wonder if it’s good to always be coming from a place of kindness, and how the priority needs to be more on creating common ground with people, and to mix criticism with positivity. 09:32 – I read from my post about why universal kindness matters. I talk about how kindness has such a consistently positive impact on the world. I also talk about the positives of loving everyone, and the challenges of that when it really means “everyone.” 10:51 – I start off this discussion by talking about the exact way to be kind to assholes. Mackenzie talks about approaching smaller scale versions of this daily. She talks about the need to prioritize finding the parts of that person that you really like. We also talk about the benefits of coming from a place of neutrality, and why it helps people to want to hear you out. I also discuss the benefits of knowing that you did what you could to be kind in a given situation, and Mackenzie goes in detail about how to kindly tell people harsh truths. 17:15 – I read from my article about how real kindness is often totally inconvenient, and how hard it is to deal with this inconvenience, especially when your kindness goes universal. Part of this can even entail lying. 19:16 – Mackenzie and I talk about how we’re so addicted to convenience that doing small things for others can feel annoying, but is worth prioritizing. Mackenzie makes the point that kindness doesn’t have to entail grand gestures. She talks about her version of kindness is largely about reaching out to people, and about really seeking to understand others. 24:56 – I read 50 kind things to do all the time from my article, and conclude it by urging my listeners to really intentionally take time out of your day, and give it to others. 29:48 – I talk to Mackenzie about being kind to herself, and it’s about doing things that you are very deliberately doing for you, and cutting ourselves some slack. I add that it’s also important to do nice things for future you, which is manifesting earned pride for yourself. She wraps it up by emphasizing the importance of seeing yourself in the other, and how you relate. 36:34 – In my final word, I support people adding consideration to their lives—both for themselves, and others, and how simply doing that creates a better world. 37:51 – Wrap up.

Source Post: http://bebetterstupid.com/dont-compare-yourself-to-anyone-ever Theme Song: “Yawn” by Nick Dorian 00:00 – Episode intro for my episode about how we compare ourselves to others. 1:03 – I introduce my guest, my brother-in-law, and why I thought he’d be a good fit for my comparisons episode. 2:22 – I start to read from my article about why comparing yourself keeps you from finding your own definition of happiness in life. Our tendency to believe this is a competition sucks and it totally gets us off track in life. 4:53 – Jeff argues that comparing yourself to others is a great thing to do with the right intentions. If you do it in an aspirational or an instructional sense. He does however, agree that superficial comparisons aren’t particularly helpful. We agree in both cases that it’s worth asking why you’re comparing yourself to other people. 8:28 – I read from my post about how social media is the basis for our comparisons, and that’s ridiculous because it’s so nearly universally fake. This is harmful for women in terms of how they look, and men in terms of trying to be tough and proving themselves to the world. 11:29 – Jeff talks about how he tends to compare himself to where he thinks he should be rather than other people. Jeff talks about how people need to be more realistic and find what you like about yourself. 13:49 – I read from my article about the other reason that comparing yourself via social media iis toxic. You don’t know how anyone is doing. You don’t know that doing what they would do would make you happy, and you don’t know that it’s making them happy. This is completely a fool’s errand. 15:06 – I go more into detail about toxic these unknowable comparisons are. We don’t know how the people are actually doing. Jeff also talks about how social media is based in advertisement. 18:37 – I read from my post about how even if someone is doing better than you, and you had a way of knowing that, that your comparisons to them are still useless and healthy. I also read about how trying to catch up to them, you could make a variety of stupid life choices. 21:57 – Jeff and I discuss the previous section more in depth, and conclude that the idea is to look at others for ideas, not direction in life. It informs me more about yourself, and you have to step back and wonder what really matters to you. Jeff compares the ability to do this to the ability to going towards the Wheel of Fortune. 26:05 – I read from my article about how we can compare ourselves less. I posit that we should focus on ourselves and our own journey more, and I make my primary point that the only person you need to be better than is you. 27:53 – Jeff and I discuss about the importance of being open-minded, and not getting latched onto a way of life that, to you, equals good. We each talk about how we’ll stay on our own paths in life…kinda. 31:10 – In my final word, I posit a better world in which we don’t feel the need to compete with others to push ourselves. The solution I say, is in noticing our comparisons, and asking ourselves about them. 32:31 – Wrap up.

Source Post: http://bebetterstupid.com/how-to-win-arguments-and-change-people/ Theme Song: “Yawn” by Nick Dorian 00:00 – I set up our episode about how we argue with and talk to each other. 00:55 – Joel introduces himself and his background, and we talk about how you cannot really win an argument—at least not in the way you think. 3:36 – I read from my article about why it’s good to want to change the world and convince people of a righteous cause is good, but doing so in the way we often do it (chastising those we disagree with) is totally ineffective. 5:54 – Joel discusses the backfire effect, and how we have adrenal responses that fire when people tell us we’re wrong, and it keeps us from seeing that we’re wrong. We also talk about how we talk about how attached we are to our identities and senses of self. We discuss how we can be less freaked out by being told we’re wrong, and establish how important it is to practice this, and counteract the Dunning-Kruger effect. We also talk about how difficult it is when the person you’re talking to has different values, and how important it is to remember that everyone is doing their best. 12:42 – I read from my article about how important it is to prioritize every potential argument instead as a discussion, and what a massive difference that can make. 13:45 – Joel and I talk about how important it is to gain trust with people in an argument, and how proving you’re right never proves you’re right to the person. It’s important to not prioritize making your side feel good. I talk about how I’ve enforced this discussion approach in the past, and how it is possible. 18:41 – I read from my article about how important it is to aggressively admit you’re wrong all the time, and how if we can accept that this is a mature, adult thing to do, then we can make huge advancements in how we talk to each other. 20:16 – Joel agrees with how admitting you’re wrong adds moral weight to your argument. I bring up how, similarly, I can admit that I don’t know everything, and how admitting that helps in our “arguments.” 22:24 – I read from my article about how people talk about how they don’t have to respect beliefs, and how counter-productive that is. 24:22 – Joel talks about how he struggles to respect insane beliefs, but that he also has insane beliefs, so he tries. I talk about how I can do this because I come at it from my specifically agnostic perspective, and how it could behoove us to go in constantly acknowledging how we don’t know anything. 27:30 – I read from my article about how attacking people—even people who are bad—may be deserved, but it’s not effective. I even encourage finding softer ways to express really awful ideas, so that people feel safe to change these parts of themselves. 30:38 – I struggle with what degree you go to in order to be respectful towards even people with repugnant beliefs. Joel makes the point that we’re all just varying degrees of imperfect. We talk about how important it is that you can’t fix people by yelling at them. If you can’t talk to someone, you’re never going to change their mind. 33:46 – In my final word, I go on about what we actually know, and how, ultimately the answer is that you kind of know nothing. The key is in not having beliefs in the conventional way, and letting go of the ego you’ve attached to your answers. 35:25 – Wrap up

Source Post (with a video!): http://bebetterstupid.com/dont-let-the-terrorist-in-your-brain-win-5-ways-to-battle-anxiety/ Theme Song: “Yawn” by Nick Dorian 00:00 - I introduce the podcast by reviewing the last episode and reminding you of how to reach out to me. 01:49 – I talk about the benefits of overthinking while on anxiety – as long as you do so positively. 02:42 – Hannah talks about how it’s helpful for her to bring her overthinking to an overthinker, and how the “Your brain is a dick” concept has helped her challenge her demon. She also talks about how she has overcome negative overthinking to advance in her career, because her overthinking has so often kept her from action in the past. 6:25 – I read from my post about the importance of limit the full on surrenders to anxiety, and to instead live as normal as possible as often as you can. This not only keeps your life going, but it helps to defeat the demon in your head. 8:13 – Hannah talks about how she actually goes beyond living as normal with her anxiety, and instead overcommunicates when in an anxious state, but she talks about how this has benefited her greatly. She has found that others have met here there, and benefited from her overcommunication. We also talk about how often she crawls into the fetal position when in the throws of anxiety and what that experience is like. 12:25 – I read from my post about the importance of inviting someone else in with your houseguest. In other words, this is the importance of talking to somebody else about your problems. I encourage people to be ultimately vulnerable, and use others to get the bird’s eye view. 13:40 – Hannah talks about how she realized that her anxiety has kept her boyfriend from being able to be anxious, and I launch off from this about how the most impactful tactic (weird word to use, but I’m sticking with it) for me is that when my wife is anxious, I always naturally calm down. We talk about the importance of outside factors allowing you to re-center. We also go more in depth about the importance of talking to someone else about your anxiety. 20:54 – I read from my article about how important it is too hold onto all of the hope that you can. 21:43 – Hannah talks about how we can speak from experience that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and we both further discuss the vitality of hope. We also encourage finding your own tactics, and your own path to brighter days. We also discuss how helpful exercise is for, in my case, the more every day form of anxiety. Hannah also talks about the benefits of paying extremely close attention to everything she has experienced. 26:53 – In my final word, I talk about the opportunity that anxiety presents. I talk about how you can come out of this better than ever, how you can prove so much to yourself, how you can learn to function through turbulence, and how much you can strengthen yourself by living through the hardest times. 29:52 – Wrap up

Source Post (with a video!): http://bebetterstupid.com/dont-let-the-terrorist-in-your-brain-win-5-ways-to-battle-anxiety/ Theme Song: “Yawn” by Nick Dorian 00:00 – I set up this two part episode about anxiety in the time of Coronavirus. 01:26 – Hannah talks about her struggles and anxieties during her quarantine. I discuss the importance of jumping into action every day to stave off the depression. 04:53 – I read from my article about the worst anxiety attack I’ve ever had, fully describing my experience, and how and why anxiety is more common than ever. 06:51 – Hannah and I discuss the two characters in your head all the time, and how it becomes a problem when the anxious one takes over. We discuss the benefits of addressing your brain as an organ. We also talk about the issue of overstimulation leading to anxiety. Hannah talks about her issue of anxiety leading to inaction. I also go over the general small-scale anxiety that I work with daily. 14:09 – I read from my article about the RDDT—the demon that lives in your brain when you have anxiety issues, and what that experience is ilke. 15:21 – Hannah talks about the benefit she recently found in getting a bird’s eye view of her anxiety by reading about the symptoms. I talk about the three responses we have to anxiety—fight, flight, or play dead. Hannah talks about how anxiety is there to protect you from things that, in reality, it propels you towards. She discusses the importance of repeatedly stepping outside of it. 19:38 – I read about the importance of being a nice host to the demon in your head. In other words, I advocate whole-heartedly for accepting your anxiety. 21:29 – Hannah talks again about her attack the night before, and how the idea of acceptance really played into helping her get past here attack. I talk about how acceptance flattens the curve of anxiety. Hannah shares a very important point: “Your brain is a dick.” 26:17 – I read about the importance of listening to your houseguest, and how anxiety can push towards necessary directions if we approach it the right way. 27:57 – Hannah talks about how COVID has helped her in the process of listening to her anxiety, and seeing how beneficial it is. We talk about the benefits of getting to know your anxiety. I go into detail about how your anxiety exaggerates and extrapolates, and we discuss what to do about this. 33:24 – In my final word, I talk about the importance of accepting losing. You won’t be able to get past your anxiety convincing that something terrible will happen, but you can be more indifferent about this terrible result, and as a result, continue to take action. 34:13 – Wrap up

00:00 - I introduce the episode and my guest, Nick. Nick discusses his extensive background in the LA dating scene.4:42 - I start reading the article, in which I point out the core of why we judge people too much. As soon as we know people, we become way less judgmental, because we know people are more complex than how we initially perceive them, so we're wrongly judging people too early all the time.6:18 - Nick talks about his 20-minute-in judgements of dating prospects, in which he judges whether or not there's a realistic spark between him and his prospects. He suspects it might be some self sabotage, and he also has issues with having high standards for physical appearance. He doesn't have the same issues judging by personality. I submit that he might place too much pressure on that initial feeling.12:30 - I read from my article about how we quickly judge people about being mean and douchey, and how often, these judgments are misplaced or exaggerated.13:56 - Nick talks about how he feels judged in dating, and how he has to work around that. 15:39 - I read from my article about why we like to judge so quickly, and why that is so limiting. I also give examples of some of our dumbest judgements. 17:19 - Nick talks about his history that has led him to place a premium on looks--both in others and in himself, and how he perhaps places a value judgement is on appearance. I encourage him to approach potential love interests looking to see the beauty. He does admit that being open minded would probably make him happier. I also go into detail having watched what women I know use as judgements, and how toxic it is to look for reasons to say no to people.23:23 - I read from my article about how we look for the wrong things in relationships. I talk about the benefits of letting go of the standards you're holding onto in your head. 25:30 - I talk about how there isn't one person for you, and specific versions of you can work with specific versions of many people. I then ask Nick what he might change in the future. He talks about going on more dates, but doesn't commit to trying to judge less quickly.27:12 - In my final word, I support Nick's commitment to wanting a spark, and prioritizing that. I maintain that the idea isn't to not have high standards, but to not have bad standards. I encourage people to support every spark they find, and to try to make it grow into a flame. I use the basis of my relationship with my wife as an example. 29:09 - Wrap up

I talk with magician Kevin Blake Ferguson about the ups, and many of the downs of following your dreams.Source Article: 7 Things to Consider Before Following Your Dreams, and One Before You Don’tTheme Song:Yawn by Nick Dorian00:00 -After I introduce this episode about following your dreams, Kevin talks about how we met, and how he became a magician.3:12 - I begin reading from my article, where I talk about how we always encourage everyone to follow their dreams, and how maybe that’s not great.4:31 - Kevin and I discuss the uniquely American pressure to follow your dreams, and how that becomes a problem when our dreams are mostly not going to happen. 8:48 - I read from my article about how your inner child is not really a source of wisdom, and it’s ridiculous that we treat him/her as one.10:05 - Kevin talks about an essay he read about how we never really leave the internal place we were at in high school, how we always tend to attach ourselves to our young identity. I point out where I may have been wrong, meaning that we should have a childlike (re: nonexistent) fear of failure because it doesn’t really matter that much. 12:16 - I read about making sure that your dream is really a dream—that it’s not just something you feel the need to pursue to be special.13:24 - I talk about times in my life where I’ve decided I wanted things to fit into society’s idea of what a person is. Kevin talks about how that is part of why he’s wanted to be a magician, and he goes on about the importance of fulfilling an identity. We conclude that that’s good for him, but not for somebody who isn’t on a track for success. We also talk about how we’re also lead to always want more, due to hedonic adaptation. This leads us towards a discussion of many ways we can be happy.19:19 - I read from my article about how important it is that your dream isn’t stupid, and how this doesn’t get emphasized nearly enough.20:01 - I ask Kevin how he has dealt with people being dismissive of his ambitions to be a magician. This leads to a discussion how we can never really know when a dream should be dismissed and what a difficult problem that is. He compares being stuck in a bad dream to being in a bad marriage. We talk about how living a balanced life and appreciating what you have is your only hope of being able to divorce your dreams.25:08 - I read from my article about whether or not you need to do this as a job, and how important it is to have the logistics of your dream figured out.26:31 - I ask Kevin how he figured out his logistics with magic. The conclusion is that I was likely kinda wrong in my initial writing, and that you have to just get started and learn by doing.29:58 - I read about how important it is to accept failure as an option for your own mental health, and how it might be best to bail on your dream. I go into even more detail about how brave it really is to bail on your dream and accept a normal life.33:46 - I ask Kevin if he would have given up on his dream if he weren’t having success. He says he likes to think he would, but reiterates how hard it is to know that success is coming. We also discuss the importance of trying intently. Lastly Kevin poignantly points out how failure is not the same as changing your dream. It’s okay for your dreams to change, and you 38:16 - In my final word, I talk about why our dreams are like marriages that we commit to when we’re six. There might be nothing we can do about that, but we can still open up our eyes and divorce our dreams, and move on with our lives.39:29 - Wrap up

Source Post: The Balancing Act of CompetitivenessTheme Song: “Yawn” by Nick Dorian00:00 - I introduce the show and my sister and guest, Cathleen, who grew up basing her entire life around swimming, with a competitive drive unlike pretty much anyone else I’ve ever known.6:38 - I start reading from my post, in which I tell the story of Michael Jordan lying to reporters and himself about a snarky comment a scrub player made at him in an attempt to motivate himself to excel, and I wonder whether or not this is a good thing.9:00 - Cathleen and I discuss how it takes this level of insanity to be like Michael Jordan, and she finds the best comparison from her past. We don’t really see this as a positive at first look.11:42 - I read from my post about why we’re competitive, and I mostly blame our animal urges for why we want to dominate our sister-in-law at Yahtzee.12:58 - Cathleen and I discuss where the drive to be the best comes from. We talk about it in general, and specifically with Cathleen. We also wonder how much of this is nurture vs. nature.16:17 - I read from my post about the worst parts of being competitive—most notably that you can become a dick and damage the world.17:55 - We talk about the bad parts of being competitive, how the drive ruined Cathleen’s physical and mental health, and how she has had to adjust to that now. We also discuss other ways that competitive drive can be really negative, and we also wonder how we can use our competitive drive positively. 23:21 - I read from my post about why it’s good to be competitive, how that drive really does push us farther than we would otherwise go. I then wonder how we can find a balance of competitiveness.25:24 - We discuss the benefits of being competitive and how its has been beneficial to the hyper-functional Cathleen.27:40 - I read from my post about the need to be competitive at things that aren’t stupid. So the important part is first seeing what you’re getting out of competition before you deploy your competitive maniac.29:01 - Cathleen and I discuss the benefits of marrying our foils, and how the bring us to the point where we can see what actually matters. 30:31 - I read from the last section of my post about how your rational brain decides what to do, and your competitive brain executes your actions.31:36 - Cathleen and I discuss the importance of finding your why, and how that is the key to determining how to approach your competitive endeavor. 33:54 - In my final word, I use Cathleen as an example of how we can use our drive positively to do good before doing well.35:00 - Wrap up

Source Post: Be Smarter Than the SmartphoneTheme: "Yawn" by Nick DorianLook, you probably need to use your smartphone way less, and when you do use it, do so way more consciously, and with some kind of thought to how its impacting you.In this premiere-ish episode, my brother-in-law, and fellow social media addict and thoughtful person Mason Lopez on to discuss our smartphone usage. 00:00-05:45 - I give a full overview of what this podcast will be all about, how it will differ from other self-improvement, and why you'd be an idiot to not listen to it.6:07 - I introduce Mason, discuss why he's qualified to talk about how locked we are into phone world, and what our phone life has been like during quarantine.9:13 - I begin reading from my post about how universal and overpowering our phone addictions are, and I wonder aloud why we do nothing about it.11:32 - Mason and I discuss the problems connected to our phones: escapism, and overstimulation, as well as the problem of rampant phone-based misinformation.19:49 - I read from my post about why we're so dependent on our phones.20:57 - Mason and I discuss how ineffective app limits are for us, and we go more in depth on why we accept just how connected we are to our phones. Mason provides insights about just how necessary our phones, and our links to social media really are.25:27 - I read from my post about the power of physically distancing yourself from your phone.26:35 - Mason get more specific about the strengths of phone distancing as a strategy. 28:31 - I read from my post about the benefit of limiting dumb notifications.29:31 - Mason provides insights on just how deceptive our apps are on how they consume our time, and how it's good to limit notifications31:34 - I read from my post about how crucial it is to use our phone and social media mindfully and consciously. 32:33 - Mason takes my theory about needing to be conscious about your usage, and expands it to discuss how necessary it is to tailor your content towards you being a more mindful phone user.38:49 - I read from my post about the necessity to just plainly exist in the world sometimes.41:10 - Mason makes the point that we're only going to get more digital from here on out, and so the best path forward is finding how to use this thing joyfully and responsibly.41:53 - In my final word, I expand upon a point earlier in the podcast of comparing our phones to food, and I give us some tips on healthy "eating."43:30 - Wrap up.

Source Article: How to Quarantine Like a ChampTheme Song: “Yawn” by Nick Dorian0:00 - I start off the show by briefly telling you what this pod will be about, and why I wanted to post this now.2:14 - I read from the beginning of my post, wherein I talk about why it’s important to focus on our lives right now, and how we’re living them--both for our productivity, and for our own mental health. 4:31- My wife Morgan and I talk about our relationship and our time spent quarantining. We share a guilt about having such a great time quarantining given how awful the world is right now, but agree that remaining positive and following the rules are really all that we can do.7:05 - I read from my article about first and foremost, consciously adding variety to your day as you’re quarantining. I discuss why it’s so vital to break up the monotony with this, and I provide a lengthy list of things you can fill your life with so that it’s not so boring and stupid when in quarantine.9:25 - I talk to Morgan about how she’s adding variety into her days, and she emphasizes the importance of this, because it can be so easy to burn out on whatever you’re dead focused on in this situation.10:42 - I read from my article about the importance of scheduling, and why it enforces good daily decisions.12:04 - Morgan and I agree on their way of “things to do” scheduling, and I discuss more about how scheduling keeps you conscious of your decisions. 13:53 - I read from my article about the importance of building and maintaining social connections while in quarantine, and why this can be the best time for your social life because you have the time to reach out, and so does everyone else.16:19 - Morgan and I discuss more about our high functioning quarantine family, as well as why it’s so important to reach out right now however you can to everyone who occurs to you.18:26 - I read from my article about getting your shit together. This section is all about dealing with the various piles in your house, and clearing them out so that your life can function while in quarantine.19:14 - Morgan and I discuss her priority for helping us really get our lives together during the quarantine, and I discuss why doing this during the quarantine isn’t only convenient, but entirely necessary21:20 - I read from my article about how this is the time to start building the habits and becoming the person you want to be right damn now. There is a quarantine friendly version of everything, and it’s incumbent on you to figure out what that is.22:22 - Morgan and I discuss how we’ve attempted to be better versions of ourselves in quarantine after I admonish the listener of one nearly universal truth once again: that you can find the quarantine friendly version of whatever change you want to make.24:34 - I read from my article about the importance of examining your life right now--both in positive and negative lights, and how coming to conclusions based on this is really how you’re going to turn your life around once you get out of here.26:38 - Morgan goes in on explaining why it’s so important to get specific when examining your life negatively, and we agree on the necessity of maintaining a positive outlook--both in your life, and with respect to the virus.28:38 - I wrap up the show by reminding you that I exist, by telling you about Nick Dorian, the performer of my theme song, and by teasing the upcoming major launch of this very podcast.