More Real

I ask 3 people including me, Willow (13) and Eden (21) how do you listen? We discuss the importance of truly listening and how most people don’t do that and when you’re with someone who does how good it makes you feel. Wouldn’t the world be a better place if people did truly listen and weren’t distracted so much. I truly hope you enjoy the conversations as much as we did.

I ask 5 people including me, Willow (13), Jess (15), Jude (17) and Eden (21) how important is human connection. We discuss how each person connects, what each person struggles and needs from human connection. The challenges of trying to connect in the current (Oct 2020) situation. What do you notice about connections and what do you wish could be different? What do you wish could be taught? I truly hope you enjoy the conversations as much as we did.

I ask 5 people including me, Willow (13), Jess (15), Jude (17) and Eden (21) are you grateful? We discuss the importance of gratitude and being grateful for the small things in life. Some useful exercises to help people to recognise gratitude. What does it mean to each person? How they show gratitude? Is it discussed with friends? I truly hope you enjoy the conversations as much as we did.

A regular guest on my podcast Richard is a father of two boys (8 and 14 yrs). He shares his journey of becoming a father. Having to deal with not experiencing the birth he and his partner had anticipated but then feeling the total euphoria of becoming a dad. Embracing fatherhood and being very hands on. The different parenting styles they adopted i.e. attachment parenting and aware parenting. He talks candidly about his father how he didn’t fully understand him until the end of his life and coming to terms with that. There was an important realisation in the conversation which was great for Richard about his father. How to deal with connecting to one child more than the other. How tough it is to be a dad and a really useful piece of advice to help you deal with the challenges. I truly hope you enjoy the experience as much as we did.

This was a great chat with Roni a father of 2 children (17 and 18yrs). Roni talks about the challenges he faced as a child, dealing with a strong detached father and how his perception of him changed during childhood. All of this influencing his parenting style. Like a lot of men Roni didn’t jump at the idea of having kids but when it happened he fully embraced the experience. He was so moved that he didn’t want to miss any of it. He had to deal with trauma around his daughters birth as she was born 3 months prematurely and as an adolescent there was another challenge which he struggled with and learnt how to adapt to. His kids are extremely important to him and how shaping their journey through life has been a constant source of enjoyment and a struggle. There are some important lessons that Roni shares about fatherhood and why it’s key to be an aware parent. I truly hope you enjoy the experience as much as we did.

I ask Willow (13), Jess (15) Jude (17) and Eden (21) do you know who you and what you want from your life? For me these questions are important in being able to understand truly who are and if you connect with them on a regular basis it will help you make better decisions in your life. We discuss why knowing who you are is so crucial at a young age and how this influences your choice of friends and how you view your relationship with your family? I ask some interesting questions about future goals and what each person wants from their life even at a young age. We take some interesting journeys into the human psyche and discuss the struggles each person has which have affected their lives and help them to think more about these questions. I truly hope you enjoy the conversations as much as we did.

In this solo pod I talk about my journey of being a dad. I share the challenges I faced along the way and how I didn’t know what I was doing but worked it out as I went. I’ve made lots of mistakes but I’ve always tried to be present, stay connected and be there for my kids as much as I can. To give all of myself so they feel loved and appreciated. I talk about my relationship with my father and how he wasn’t there for me when I needed him. What he taught me and how I’ve loved and will continue to love being a dad. It’s the toughest challenge I’ve ever undertaken but by far the most rewarding of my life. I truly hope you enjoy the experience as much as I did.

I ask 5 people including me, Willow (13 yrs), Jess (15 yrs), Jude (17 yrs) and Eden (21 yrs) do you love yourself? This topic has hugely affected my life, as I’m a 50 year old man who hasn’t loved himself. I wanted to raise awareness of why I believe that loving yourself is so important. I discuss with each person a range of topics related to this subject including how do you love yourself? Why don’t you love yourself? Why is it important to love yourself? We discuss how self-awareness helps to guide your thinking. I truly hope you enjoy the conversations as much as we did.

We started by discussing the classic Cherokee Indian legend about which wolf will you feed which I find fascinating. Eden is a beautiful person who at 21 has seen a lot of life. She’s experienced childhood trauma, her parents divorcing, living in two countries, travelling extensively and having incredible experiences with amazing people, being in the army and living in a pandemic. She has so much passion and energy and a positive outlook on life and at a young age has done some real work on her mental health. She’s been to bad places and will continue to do so but understands what’s going on when it happens and has the commitment and wisdom to work through her issues to grow and be the best version of her possible. Eden is highly empathic, who connects deeply with people and craves that connection. We discuss her belief system and her thoughts around not being good enough, struggling to find her voice as child in her family. Feeling like she was unheard and becoming angry and depressed and not having the same experience as her friends were at the time. I truly hope you enjoy the conversation as much as we did.

Suffering leads to transformation. Pain is necessary despite what society tells you that being uncomfortable and feeling vulnerable aren’t good and you should push those feelings away, move on and feel positive. What we attach to the pain is important and the key is how you understand and deal with it.Throughout her life Lael has looked at herself, what vulnerability means and how emotional trauma has surfaced. She suffered a traumatic event when her third child was born and hadn’t dealt with it at the time. Two and half years later she was hit with PTSD. Anxiety attacks stopped her from working and she was overcome by so much emotion and pain. This was a life changing moment that required her to truly feel and understand what this event meant. All this taught her to always look at who she was and who she wanted to be. It’s so important to take care of your needs first and learn to love yourself, which sadly we’re just not taught.We talk about aware parenting (her area of expertise), what it means to be present and to catch your feelings and not project them onto your kids. Lael discusses what she fears the most and how she is able to step into the bigness of life and has the courage to be different. The importance of making a difference in the world, changing people’s lives for the better and the truth of who we are.She is an inspiring person who has achieved so much and has the grace to acknowledge it. I truly hope you enjoy the conversation as much as we did.

This is a deep dive into the human psyche. Understanding there is a big difference between happiness or the illusion of happiness and meaning in your life. Nicky’s had a journey of discovering who he really is and appreciating what makes him different. As a child he stood out from other kids because he was sensitive resulting in him being an easy target for others. This and his ability to connect deeply with everything and everyone led to bigger problems that surfaced in his adult life. He discusses the importance of adversity in our lives which we seek to avoid yet ultimately is the true catalyst for change and evolution.As an adult he moved to India drawn by the yoga teachings which he couldn’t find in Australia. He landed an incredible job working for India’s largest company which ended relatively soon after arriving. Nicky suffered a nervous breakdown a culmination of a number of factors including an awful boss, a previous bad relationship and dissatisfaction with what he was doing day to day. He talks about his body restricting who he is, confining him in an unnatural way and trying to find where the connections are with people rather than where the differences are. His understanding of who he is and why he’s here coupled with the ability to reflect on extremely challenging periods in his life and recognise their importance, to me is a real gift. I truly hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did.To find out more about Nicky please visit: www.hereyoga.com.au

Depression, mental illness and emotional childhood trauma. As a child Adrian had been through a lot. His mother was heavily addicted to prescription drugs and his father a Vietnam vet was not present. All of this coupled with his sensitivity meant that he was not validated by his family and learnt that he needed to find this elsewhere. Being sensitive resulted in him believing that when something bad happened or his mother was sick Adrian blamed himself. He wanted to help but couldn’t. This led to internalising all the criticism in his life. As a teenager Adrian found a group of kids who liked for him who he was but he became addicted to drugs and alcohol because they provided the freedom he couldn’t find elsewhere.Despite these challenges Adrian followed the path that society has constructed, doing well at school, going to Uni, getting a job, making money and living the life but it didn’t make him happy. All those suppressed emotions, trauma as a child and a very unhealthy belief system resulted in panic attacks in his early 20’s which dramatically affected his mental health. Having seen therapists and tried many anti-depressants nothing worked which let to rehab. This was the end of the line! It was all too much and there was a lot of turmoil. Adrian then met someone that would change everything. A woman suggested Qigong meditation and what happened next was a spiritual awakening that shifted so much darkness leading to a huge transition. I truly hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did.To find out more about Adrian please visit: https://corempower.com/Home/AdrianMiller

Jonathan felt different as a child and stood out which unfortunately made him an easy target to be bullied. Sadly, this has had a huge negative impact on his life and affected him greatly. His message around what to do if you are being bullied is important in my opinion and helps to stop this appalling behaviour. Jonathan has incredible courage to share his story with me. He talks candidly about trying to come to terms with being gay as a teenager and then having the strength to tell his family and friends in the late 80’s/early 90’s which was a huge deal at the time. How he felt rejected, tried to find acceptance, and being acknowledged for who he was. Throughout his life he has summoned real courage to face his demons and has grown as a result. He shares a truly traumatic story of receiving a call from a friend who had decided to end his life and trying to help him but unfortunately not being able to. This tragic event had huge ramifications for Jonathan’s life and ultimately led to big changes. I truly hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did.

At a young age Kate had to deal with the fear around her mothers early on set dementia. Trying to navigate her way through this and understand her own feelings threw up a lot of issues and was extremely challenging. Watching her mothers steady decline over the years constantly worrying about whether her mother had forgotten to do something that was important led Kate and her sisters to suffer from anxiety and depression later in life. As a result of this she developed strategies to cope with all that life threw at her.This was a fascinating conversation about life and how to face your challenges which can be extreme at times. We talked about relationships, the significance of a strong paternal figure, lack of confidence and owning your shit! We delve into “emotional connection” and the ability to truly understand people, their feelings and navigating your way through this. I truly hope you enjoy the conversation as much as we did.

This question threw up a lot of issues and challenges that Shellie had to deal with in her life. Moving to a new place and having to try and fit into the myriad of social groups at her new school. Initially being rejected, feeling very alone and like she didn’t belong or was accepted. Being loved truly by her family but not by boys! Having no self-respect and doing things she knew were wrong but needing to feel like she was being seen so did them anyway. Then came the point of no return when enough was enough. She wanted out and to go somewhere where people understood her and that she felt like she BELONGED! She had searched for so long to find happiness, a sense of belonging and acceptance when what she really needed was always there inside of her, but she just hadn’t seen it. Happiness lies within!Shellie throughout her adult life turned to alcohol to give her the “buzz” she needed and to hide how she really felt. This went on for some time until one day unfortunately she had an incident that changed her life. I truly hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did.

From an early age Phil suffered terrible illness that affected him in so many ways. He grew up in the mining towns on the west coast of Tasmania in the 1950’s. As a kid he was very sick and was given too much cortisone which them caused him to be overweight and bullied at school. He had to deal with the terrible ordeal of being molested as a small boy and not being able to tell his parents what had happened because of the shame it would bring. Phil was able to see future events as a child before they happened. He would go to sleep and then visualise them. It was a gift as well as a terrible burden as he believed he had caused these events to happen. He suffered from chronic fatigue as a result of the drugs he was given as a child resulting in him having to lie down not function and rely on the help of others to feed and wash him. Because he gave so much of himself throughout his life and too much cortisone as a child, he had a cardiac arrest in his 40’s and was technically dead for over 4 minutes and then brought back to life. He recounted his out of body experience in detail (an incredible story!). Phil is a very smart man who sees the world in an incredible way. I truly hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did. Please note there are parts of this recording where the audio is not always clear so I hope this doesn’t detract from your enjoyment.

For a large part of his life Luke lived with pain and misery unable to have honest relationships with people close to him. For most of his time at school he was bullied because as he put it “I was unlikeable’’ resulting in him trying to take his life at 11 and a number of times subsequently. He was totally disconnected, isolated and lost in the world. So paralysed by fear he’s been unable to get out of bed. He constantly regulates his responses to other people which is exhausting and suffers from severe anxiety every day and visualises extreme events that won’t happen. During his adult life he became an alcoholic and, in the end, couldn’t cope with it all and tried to kill himself. If it wasn’t for a freak event, then he wouldn’t be alive today but thankfully he is and thanks to the support of many people has been sober for 7 years. Luke has found himself finally and I believe he was and is a courageous human being, but he doesn’t see himself in that way which has ultimately led to people attacking him throughout his life. He never truly revealed himself to anyone until he met his current wife, because at Luke said “who would love me? Luke has needed other people to make him happy but now life is worth living because he wants to be the best version of Luke he can. I truly hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did.

Adam is highly empathic and as a child was able to receive information that he had no control over. He had no boundaries and so unfortunately was bullied at school and became an easy target for those who were prepared to cross boundaries. Adam struggled for a large period of his life to deal with understanding all of this and why everyone wasn’t the same as him. His relationships with women were affected resulting in him looking for partners that he could help and heal and that could help him. Ultimately this led to failed relationships as he wasn’t receiving what he needed. In his twenties he was diagnosed as suffering from schizophrenia and was advised to take time out to “reset” his life. It took time for Adam to realise what he needed to do. We talk about his work as a therapist, his child who is also highly empathic, what it is to be a man and what it is to be Adam. I’ve not met anyone like Adam before so for me this was a fascinating and insightful conversation, which I truly hope you enjoy as much as we did.

Susan talks passionately about her life of disconnection and feeling shut down as a child. She had no idea about life and how to be in it! She learnt how to be in the world by mirroring what went on around her.Having faced extremely challenging periods in her life including dealing with emotional trauma that resulted in depression as an adult through the help of others she worked out how to connect. In her own words without therapeutic help I don’t think I would be here now.Throughout her life dancing was a key element and enabled Susan to truly come alive! She wanted to teach others particularly women, babies and small children through dance and movement therapy how to overcome their issues. This episode provides a fascinating insight into life in Australia in the 50s and 70s, what it was like for Susan and how she navigated her way through relationships, having children and dealing with her emotional issues. I truly hope you enjoy the conversation as much as we did.

In today’s episode I’m talking to a friend of mine Richard who lives with his partner and 2 boys in a suburb of Melbourne. He’s a film maker and musician. We discuss conforming, how he views it and deals with it and fear. I really hope you enjoy the conversation as much as we did.

This was a very “real” experience discussing with Asher so many important aspects of life. This episode will help you to understand what it is to be a man and how a man thinks, acts and behaves. In my opinion, if you truly listen then you’ll gain an insight into how to be the best version of you. Asher is an amazing person with such an incredible perspective on life. A very learned man who has been through traumatic experiences including his sister taking her life, his mother taking her life and being diagnosed with an incurable blood cancer. All of this happened in a relatively short space of time and ultimately was too much to handle and resulted in Asher having a nervous breakdown. In tragedy there is knowledge and wisdom to help guide you through your life. As a result of these terrible experiences Asher found his true calling and completely changed the way he lived his life and saw himself. His profound awakening resulted in him wanting to share his experience and help others. We talk about meditation, men’s groups, dealing with and talking about death, listening to your inner child, the Wim Hof method, getting out into nature, spirituality and having compassion for others. I truly hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did. To find out more about Asher and how he can help you please visit thefifthdirection.com.au or @thefifthdirection

In today’s episode I’m talking to a friend of mine J who was originally from Melbourne and now lives in Phuket with his new wife. He’s passionate about travelling and living a full and meaningful life. We discuss his divorce and how he dealt with it. The impact it had on him and his kids and how he’s moved on since then. Why taking action is so important, how he achieves this and how he constantly tries to challenge himself with new experiences. I really hope you enjoy our conversation as much as we did.

In today’s episode I’m talking to a friend of mine Ryan, originally from South Africa who now lives in Melbourne with his wife and two kids. He runs a video production business and is a keen cyclist. We discuss what it’s like to be a man, the challenges of growing up in South Africa and moving to Melbourne as a teenager and adapting to a new life. Never properly belonging in his new home but accepting that. Dealing with the way men are in Australia and learning to fit in and adapt to a new culture and way of life. The challenges of being a parent and the type of relationship he wants with his children. Conforming and how he deals with it and views those around him. I really hope you enjoy the conversation as much we did.

What we learn from our parents as children can totally shape our behaviour and the way we interact and communicate with people close to us. TJ saw the world from a very narrow viewpoint, struggling to connect with others and ultimately limiting the depth of his relationships. 12 months ago, his partner told him she wasn’t happy and their relationship needed to change. He then had the courage to want to work on himself to undo what he had learnt, limit friendships that weren’t healthy for him, change the way he saw the world and the way he interacted with his partner and to redefine what a relationship should be. In his own words TJ explains how great a place the world would be if you could talk openly with people around you, particularly men, about how you really feel and what’s going on in your world without being judged. This is such a simple concept but rarely happens. TJ then questions what it means to be a man in today’s world. The conversations around this subject are starting to change and create a new paradigm. If men could have open honest conversations it would mean better men, better relationships with their partners and ultimately a better society. I truly hope you enjoy this conversation as much as we did.

Sean was a child performer and had to deal with the pressures of performing and at times not wanting to. He was very alone and had to cope with all of his emotions at such a young age as well as the anxieties around the way he looked, his weight, his skin and even looking at his shadow as being too fat. This was an extremely challenging period of his life. He had to deal with being bullied, moving schools a number of times as a result of his talent and the unfortunate prejudices in our world. Ultimately there came a point when enough was enough and he wanted out. He needed time off to deal with his emotions. He then went back to music to initially play, then study and perform. For me he had unbelievable courage to do that. He currently works in education and the music industry and talks about a new relationship with his father now that they’re both older and have a completely different perspective on life. I truly hope you enjoy our conversation as much as we did.

In today’s episode I’m talking to Omkara an incredible young man who used to live in Peru and now lives in Melbourne. We discuss how he sees life, he's an old soul with such a great perspective on the world around him. I'm blown away at his insights and how he views people. He’s had many challenges to deal with in his young life: moving country, leaving his dad and not having a constant male influence. I really hope you enjoy our conversation as much as we did.

In today’s episode I’m talking to a friend of mine Richard who lives with his partner and 2 boys in a suburb of Melbourne. He’s a film maker and musician. In this very candid episode we discuss how being the child of holocaust survivors has totally shaped his life. He has an incredible recollection of specific childhood events which had a huge impact on how he thought and acted. He recalls awful memories his father shared with him about the holocaust. Ultimately all of this took its toll and resulted in a drug induced psychotic episode in his early 20s. I really hope you enjoy the conversation as much as we did.

In this conversation Billie truly feels and embraces her emotions in such an incredible way. She talks about many things including the power of groups and the importance of laughing. That we should tell ourselves we’re good enough and acknowledge our achievements. To have the confidence to listen to your intuition and see where it takes you. The challenge of being a giver and then having nothing left to give to yourself. The daily practices she uses to manage her insecurities/lack of confidence and how to quieten the unhelpful voice in our heads. How to build courage and being courageous. I truly hope you enjoy our conversation as much as we did.

Wow this is a great conversation with Jeremy who’s very vulnerable and talks about his feelings and the courage of being so open and honest. We discuss why men find it so challenging to be vulnerable and why adults are still really children. He talks in detail about his work as a relationship therapist, a sex therapist and a sexological bodyworker. This was incredibly fascinating as I didn’t know some of these jobs existed. I learnt so much, which has ultimately changed the way I see the world. I truly hope you enjoy our conversation as much as we did.

In today’s episode I’m talking to a friend of mine Naomi who lives with her partner and 2 kids in a suburb of Melbourne. She’s a filmmaker and has a passion for nature and living a healthy evolved life. We discuss her family and how she felt different to everyone in it, friends and relationships. The challenges of navigating your way through them. How she tries to deal with realising her dreams and the fear that goes hand and hand with it. I really hope you enjoy the conversation as much as we did.

In today’s episode I’m talking to Jack a teenager who grew up in Peru and now lives in Queensland, Australia. We discuss growing up in Peru and how incredible his childhood was there. How he dealt with the tragedy of his mothers death, his father living in another country and moving to Australia to start a new life. He shares his views on what its like to live in Australia, being a man and why he was challenged by feeling like he needed to conform. I really hope you enjoy our conversation as much as we did.

Today I’m talking to Pip an incredible woman with a unique perspective on life, she’s a Chinese medicine practitioner who runs Kundalini House a health clinic/yoga studio in North Fitzroy, Melbourne where people can properly heal. She talks about the importance of caring, community and making a difference in the world. What it was like to grow up in the country, her battle with depression and dealing with sexual abuse. This was a beautiful conversation and I truly hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

In today’s episode I’m talking to Sharon who lives in Melbourne with her husband and son. Sharon works for Australia’s largest early learning provider. We discuss what it’s like to be an includer and trying to help people solve their problems and the challenges of being able to read people. The unbelievable 10-year journey of trying to conceive, dealing with miscarriages and then the joy of finally giving birth. I really hope you enjoy our conversation as much as we did.

In today’s episode I’m talking to a friend of mine Stephen about how much of who we really are do we reveal to others and how he deals with expressing himself and his emotions. Why knowing a person’s history allows you to truly understand who they are and how his childhood has shaped who he’s become. I really hope you enjoy our conversation as much as we did.

In today’s episode I’m talking to Anna about the challenges in her life; having a profoundly disabled child and the impact that has on her and her family. How being different in today’s world is extremely challenging. The importance of friends and being real and human around them and why therapy is good.I really hope you enjoy our conversation as much as we did.

In today’s episode I’m talking to a friend of mine Sarah about discovering who she really was whilst traveling across the world, the incredible experiences she had and people she met, which have ultimately shaped her life.How she's dealt with the challenges of being a single working mum and how rewarding her work is.I really hope you enjoy our conversation as much as we did.

In today’s episode I’m talking to a friend of mine Tara about parenting and how her childhood and parents influenced who she is and how she parents and the impact that’s had on her family. I really hope you enjoy our conversation as much as we did.