The Elena Show (not a real podcast)

Yeah, imma say… we can't. There's a reason it's a short story and not a play. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Sorry I get frustrated at the end. Skip that part. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

I don't care. I could take it or leave it. I'm tired and I wanna be alone. K thx bye. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

We do not accept your apology because it is very clear you still believe you did nothing wrong. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

New doc, just like the old doc. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Walking back from the theatre again. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

The title says it well enough --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Recap of the social event --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Walking back from the theatre, as I do. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Cuz I miss you that's why. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

This is also a secret description so... nothing to see here, keep moving buddy! --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Yup. That's how it be sometimes --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Yup. It sounds like I butt dialed you. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Oh, cuz the dog's named Penny. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Oh well --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

This too --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Idk. by the time I remembered I needed to write this I was already too sad. Sry. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Oh well. Sorry about that. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Yeah it's a hyphenated last name. It's 2020. Porky can do whatever the fuck they want! (To my mouth) --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Told ya. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Many tears, rapidly and consistently. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

I don't have anything finished for the title yet so this is filler. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Oh boy oh boy! I hope I don't have expectations or hopes like I usually expect myself to hope for! Oh, about about the ACT TWO track title joke, I'm standing by it. It works okay. but you don't say both T's in the word “nottwo”. Like the name Brittany or whatever. So the joke works. Deal with it—hmm? Which word? Nottwo? You've never heard of a Nottwo? Omg well, I don't want to be the one to tell you like this so you should google it. Do it now. You have time. Don't worry! It's nottwo late. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

I mean, if you got this far, you know what you're in for so pre-heat yourself or whatever women do before they get aroused. Hmm? No that doesn't make sense? Oh, well when a woman is pregnant, sometimes people say she has a “bun in the oven” and the oven is the uterus so, pre-heating yourself is... like, getting... wet? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

That's basically how I got hired at the dentist tech support thingy. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

I wish I could see you face at certain parts. Like, I need a selfie and a time stamp so I know what you are reacting to. Oh, I could get your laughs that way too! No. Pull back. Don't get greedy. Just start with the selfie and time stamp and work up to your masterpiece, a video series called “Elena reacts to the Elena Show” (and profitable spinoff Elena reacts to Elena reacts to Elena react to... ad inline-denim. Oh you don't know that one? It's Latin. See that? Capital l on the Latin. What? Now, that's an l and not an I. I don't capitalize single letters on their own. Like I wouldn't say I have a potato when I could say I am not aware of any crimes committed during the span of my association with the organization. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

This is a repeat, non Spotify version, of this episode without music for other platforms. This is episode where I run away from home and do a home chef but then eventually come to my senses and go home. Okie love you bye. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

My life, Doubled Blended. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

I love you so much that I forget to remind you as much as I wanna --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Holy cow what a piece of garbage I am. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

I'm killing time while waiting for my phone repair to be done --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

My phone broken. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Oh wow yeah I'm sorry. I pulled a brain muscle on that one. What are those called? Neurons? Psh more like, NerdOns! Get it? Cuz your like a nerd or whatever for this joke. Look, I'm just so desperate for your attention that when I get it I am so excited that don't know what to do and I just pee everywhere. So, I guess what I'm saying is... you owe me for the carpet cleaning. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

So maybe skip it? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

I'll send a picture of the thing. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

You know how people imply they only have so many fucks to give? Well, I think I only have so many “sorry”s. And for that, I'm ... --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

I am writing this in between parts 3 and 4. So yeah, at Taco Bell and the other two are off talking shit probably. about me probably. What do you mean, “not everything is about me” then who are you talking to? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Omg nothing happens and I just sit on my phone for like the first zillion seconds. Sorry. Also, I'm writing this in advance so I don't know any of the inside jokes yet. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Otherwise... idk skip it or don't it doesn't matter to me. And definitely don't tell me if you did skip it cuz I'll know you're lying and don't tell me you did skip it cuz I'll know you're lying! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Words cannot prepare you for this rollercoaster... of love... and war... what is it good for? Okie I stop. Luv u byyyyyyeeeee --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

So it's just bland and upsetting. Enjoy. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

It's no use! I'm beyond help. Leave me! You can help, go on now, get out of here! *cries but peeks out through the tears* where are you going?! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

What do you mean, “no”? I wasn't offering to show you anything. I was merely stating the extent of my powers. So get over yourself maybe? and then check yourself before you wreck yourself. #GetRekt --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Sorry not sorry. It's unexpected, so what did you expect? Hmm? Wait. Pause. Oh shit for real I just saw a ghost cuz it's 1:20am and I'm high and scared. Babe I love you! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Damn. Bamboozled again. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Oh yeah before I forget. I changed the system I use to pick the interludes so, yeah, don't like @ me with that nonsense if you think I repeated too many or too soon. I can tell you about the new system if you want. Wait what? Wha do you mean you weren't trying to catch me being inconsistent with the interludes? And that it doesn't matter because you jump around episodes out of order? Well I think it matters more now! The new system is basically word association with a search engine. Like, I think of a single word loosely related to the episode's topic(s) then I type the first 2-3 letters of that word into the search bar of the interludes section and make a choice from there or start over and roll the word association dice again. There. I did it. You happy? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Yup. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Exit-citing! Ex-citing? Wait how is it usually spelled exciting. Ok so then we gotta do the first one otherwise it doesn't work. Yeah but whatever, up to you. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Do not stray from your protective overlord called QT, for around every corner looks a Circle K. --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

But I thought it was too good for a track title so I upgraded it to my episode title. And so then I ‘cut' the joke onto my clipboard, with the intention of pasting into episode title in like 5 seconds and then... and then... well, here we are. Do you still love me? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message

Oh yeah, and backstreets back, alright? --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/theelenashow/message