Toyland The World's Best Show

Everybody wants to hear about Donald Trump and Impeachment.  It's the most interesting thing to talk about.  Especially after Biden won the election.  In this episode, we discuss the canning process and peaches as well as the dark territory which is the relationship between our podcast hosts.  

Season 2 has begun!  Frank just got out of prison yesterday and now it's time to talk about bunny rabbits!

Bill's Grandmother is dead!  Frank is going to send her into space for the worl'd very first space funeral.  Death is a difficult subject, especially for Frank who cannot deal with feelings except through weird performance art and horrendous eulogies.

Everything you need to know about Hip Hop AND Frank and Bill get possessed by the spirits of the Wu Tang, MC Hammer and rap for you guys.  This ends up in them getting in a bunch of trouble.  We're talking guns, cocaine, marijuana cigarettes and more illegal activities.  

Today we take a look at an article featuring Mia Khalifa, ex-pornstar and Lance Armstrong, tour De France Winner and infamous doper.  We talk about NO REGRETS!  We talk about Nyan Cat, America, ISIS, and the patriarchy!  GOD BLESS PODCASTING!

Aliens come in U.F.O's to Toyland everyday and try to get green cards and visas.  We sit down with a real life Alien from the planet "PORTUGAL" and talk about the meaning of life, the American Dream and anal probes. Is Miguel proof that there is life on other planets?  Or is he just a 59 year old grown man from Portugal?  You decide. Things to study:  Illegal Aliens, immigrants, Trump's Wall, Politics, Foreigners (not the band), Racism, Roswell and Ronald Raegan.   Good-bye!  

Today on Toyland we get sidetracked off of Dinosaurs and instead talk about Aly Raisman and her naked pictures in sports illustrated swimsuit edition.  What has Frank been doing with that magazine?  Is he not aware of the #metoo movement?  We also talk about how a pornstar called Stormy Daniels had sex with Donald Trump.  Bill Clinton plays the saxophone and Frank gets a heavy dose of political correctness.  Hopefully he will be able to drop his masturbation to hot political topics and finally become a respectful member of society...but I doubt it.

It's February, God it's cold!  Welcome once again to the world's best show.  Today Frank and Bill talk about SINCERITY- a scarce comedy in this cynical world, growing a podcast and a following, and  sing a song that is so sincere it's going to make you uncomfortable.  They do this because...they forgot to prepare content. We love you Toylanders!  Rate us and subscribe and send us an email at toylandpodcast@gmail.com

Our hosts take a fieldtrip to BITCOIN KINGDOM and talk to a robot wizard about slaying some Komodo Dragons in exchange for Bitcooing (the G is silent).  Everything you need to know about Bitcoin is in this episode, depending how much you need to know about Bitcoin.

Frank and Bill are podcasting from the St. Mary's Hospital while Frank is recovering from his heart attack from drinking too much Tequila Cheese, although the jury is still out how much the Tequila Cheese actually played a role.

Being healthy is important!  In this podcast we explore the intricacies of health, camels, and a new beverage called Tequila Cheese.  We're back to regular shows! Well..."regular".

Frank and |Bill need help to save the podcast and their dwindling friendship.  They bring on a therapist to help them deal with ABBA music, feeding on raw flesh and Mommy Issues.  This is a safe place!

Frank and Bill are back in the studio and the air is thick with resentment!  Listen to the this episode where you will experience violence, swearing, heartbreak, cops and terrorism! 

Bill is a traitor so Frank invites his upstairs neighbor Stan the Neighbor to join him as his new full time co-host.  Stan is a musician, you may know him from his hit song "Wandering Stan".  He is also the director of the musical experimental art theater piece known as "Jesus Christ On Ice", and the founder of a Clogs company.  Also we world premiere his 46'th studio album!  Booo ya Toylanders!

It's hard when your best friend gets a girlfriend.  I mean...what's a homeboy to do?  Is Bill a traitor or is Frank a possesive piece of crap?  You be the judge Toylanders. 

Bill has had a lot of time on his hands.  Frank used his large inheritance to persuade Bill to quit his job at the paper merchants and work for him full time essentially becoming his slave.  But Bill is using it to do some good in his life.  He's taking care of his dying grandmother and he's dating a sexy nurse called Lucy.  We are so happy for Bill!  Go Bill!

It's official, Frank the Cow took Bill to court saying that he legally owns his face. He also acted as his own lawyer. Bill is not happy. It's the last update ever, thank god in heaven for that. Frank knows Bill is mad, so he has prepared a special gift. This show is all about friendship you filthy animals!

There's some drama on the scene today. Frank says he owns Bill's face legally and he might take it into the courtroom. Also, we can't stop updating! Somebody call for help.

We have to keep updating! Not because we want to anymore. It's just happening. We can't stop ourselves. We have 1 youtube comment. There's nothing going on. But we still can't stop updating. Will we ever get back to just regular content? Please god. Make it stop.

We are giving you updates and we are never going to stop. Updates are great. We have so much to tell you about updates and our amazing progress. Thank you for all your support. I'm just kidding. Nobody is listening or watching. If you are, you're the only one. But let's UPDATE anyway!

Frank and Bill went into a professional recording studio and recorded you a song! They care about Christmas. And views, and hits, and listens. But mostly Christmas. Merry Christmas you filthy animals!

You never need to go and watch the news ever again! Frank the Cow and Bill the Fish have you covered, bringing you FAKE NEWS and real news all the time never ending. Do you want this? Are you sure?Because I'm not sure.

Conan O'Brien is dead! It's a massive loss to the world! How do we deal with this? What do we do? Or is Frank just being a butthole? Find out!

Why the hell is there so much music in the world?! Frank and Bill get deeeeep man! They talk about culture. Why? Because that's what podcasts eventually do. And now we're doing it. Also, we don't know much about anything else. Did you know Frank can sing? Pretty good for a cow don't you think?

OMG!!! This show is actually getting good. Bill brings some random fun facts for Frank and the results are hilarious...as usual? We will let you be the judge of that.

Bill is now full time and he came to the show with some prepared content. But Frank is not happy about it. Today we talk about global warming....very briefly.

Today Frank basically blackmails Bill by using his large inheritance to employ him full time! This means that Bill is no longer just showing up, he's being payed! And he has no escape from the idiocy. Welcome to what seems is going to be the lineup for Toyland for the rest of eternity Biatches!!!!!.....calm down.

In today's episode frank is desperate to get hits and be famous. He name drops Donald Trump via a ridiculous game as well as talking about Frank and Bill's transgender fantasies. Why? I'm not sure Frank knows and I don't think Bill is interested. It's just a show people lay off the hard criticism.

Frank the Cow and Bill the Fish are back! Frank is growing ever more desperate for content. He asks Bill to tell in detail, his boring soup recipe! How exciting! We hope you enjoy this episode.

Frank the Cow and Bill the fish discuss social media and Facebook.  Is facebook dead?  Who cares!  We have no content or expertise on anything!  

this is Toyland the World's best show with your Hosts Frank the Cow and Bill the Fish.  In today's first episode Frank invites Bill over to talk about North Korea.  Is Bill an expert?  No.  Is Frank struggling for content?  Yes.  So far so good.  Wer are a comedy podcast and we're trying to get famous for the simple reason that we are idiots.  Hoo hah!