Where's The Lamb Sauce?

From Kitchen Nightmares to a gameshow format that must have been devised in the haze of a fever dream; Gordon goes primetime in his new quizshow for BBC1 and naturally we're here to pick up the pieces. Are there any winners in Studio Ramsay's latest defecation - Gordon Ramsay's Bank Balance? Let's find out. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

We ring in 2021 by mining the precious remaining untapped Kitchen Nightmares material in a suitably bloated and gassy post-Christmas WTLS? special. And where better to warm our wintery baubles than the southern reaches of the continent, like Gordon did for his Costa Del Nightmares spin-off series? For more reasons than one, we won't be dusting off the passport this time though...

Just like Gordon himself, we're revisiting the scene of the crime in this special recap episode, featuring Ramsay's best insult, biggest nightmare, worst chef and the #GONALD2024 presidential campaign. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

The knives are out for the WTLS? series finale in Paris. Gordon takes a trip down memory lane where he flexes his French, develops a man crush on a Scottish cowboy and locks horns with his spoiled daughter. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

Would you pay two grand a year to eat at a restaurant that serves shark and has leather walls? No? What about if the likes of Jordan and Dean Gaffney were regulars? Still no? Well, the locals of The Granary in Hampshire agree with you, and that's why it is as out of shape as its arrogant owner. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

Is there a more frequently uttered sentence on British shores than "I love a good curry"? Unfortunately, nobody's quite so complimentary after leaving The Curry Lounge in Nottingham, which looks like a neon lap dancing club, is run by the Asian David Brent and serves food cooked by a suave Bollywood porn star. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

We reach peak Kitchen Nightmares this week as Gordon walks into marital as well as culinary hell. He samples Welsh snot; is confronted by a dirty magician and gives us a genuine contender for Insult of the Series. Elsewhere, we were left gobsmacked by an item in our inbox of unique musical nature. Music by Adam Wiltshire (and Yung Toro).

If there was ever a lost cause, it was The Priory: a convent-turned-carvery that's literally giving away meals to its expiring clientele. Thankfully, our Gordon knows not a lost cause as he tries to get his hands on a slippery eel of an owner and teach Uncle Fester & fam how to make a salad. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

Gordon's back in Brighton to woo the locals in a bid to boost his standing in the 2007 Gay Icons List. He's met by Allan Love, a vertically-challenged luvvy who hates fish - and who happens to run a seafood restaurant. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

Even Gordon looks a tad pasty in this bronzed, affluent Liverpool suburb, where family-run Morgan's should be making a killing from the local WAGs, but is more likely to kill with the hazardous flavour combinations on its menu and dysfunctional management. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

The owner of Rococo is desperately clinging onto past glories and burying his head in the sand - and with debts totalling 100 grand, it's no wonder he's sweating so much. Only one man can save this woeful establishment. Enter the Sheriff of King's Lynn, a.k.a. Mr. Gordon James Ramsay. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

The pub is the spiritual home and birthplace of WTLS?, which makes this episode - the first in a pub - all the more special for us. And we've got plenty to say about its “cantankerous old bat” of a landlord. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

It's adios (for now) to Gordon's famous pinstripe blazer as he packs a single boxfresh t-shirt and jumps on a luxury yacht bound for Spain's “Costa Del Shithole”. Donkey dicks, bull horns and dog faeces await. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

“I don't want to get food poisoning... in f*****g Derby”. Gordon's in the midlands this week, home to Rolls Royce, an especially dangerous strain of Salmonella (apparently), and a kindred spirit in the kitchen. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

Gordon's megalomania reaches new heights in Blackpool as he writes his own Ten Commandments - entitled How Not To Run A F****** Restaurant. Holy mackerel. Surely Clubway 41 - a.k.a. ‘Blackpool's Best Restaurant' - is safe from divine retribution? Don't be so sure. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

There's plenty of low hanging fruit for Gordon this week: he meets a married couple who run a blundering hotel on the south coast that serves phallic dishes on its sprawling and curiously pan-Asian menu. Basil! Music by Adam Wiltshire.

Oscar Wilde said that “we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” Oscars restaurant - named after the playwright - is in the gutter all right, but there's absolutely no star quality to be found here. Gordon is left hoping that a tubby journeyman bingo caller will save the day. Spoiler alert: he doesn't. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

We made an effort and threw on our gladrags for this one in Scotland; a fancy ‘fine dining' place with lofty ambitions. Helmed by a sugar daddy owner and an overindulged French chef, there's ample low hanging fruit for for Gordon. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

Here's a first: Gordon actually likes the food at a soul food joint in Brighton. But that doesn't stop him laying down the law - and moonwalking. We still don't know why he did the latter. Answers on a postcard. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

Gordon finds himself in Essex and in D-Shit. Anglo-French tensions are renewed, Guacamole is spilled, and someone learns the value of honesty the hard way. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

Gordon time-travels to the heyday of the Ristorante Italiano, where he is granted an audience with The King of the Trattorias and an A1 CHEF. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

Gordon packs his five iron with his whites and heads to the Home Counties, where he's confronted by a ghastly colour scheme and a stroppy little Frenchman. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

Gordon finds himself in a pricey Welsh institution, where he puts wannabe head chefs through their paces and learns how to say 'erection' in Italian. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

Gordon dons his pinkest shirt and heads to the Lake District, where he encounters camel's testicles and an overpaid head chef with sex on the brain. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

The pilot episode of Where's The Lamb Sauce? sees Gordon Ramsay visiting Bonapartes in Silsden, West Yorkshire in the iconic first ever episode of Kitchen Nightmares. Music by Adam Wiltshire.