Quest For You

Celebrating 600 episodes coincides with the end of an epic year and I want to take to opportunity to invite you to reflect together with me. I want to help you see that this year may have not been the most productive, as you have witnesses with the irregularity of my last 100 episodes, but that doesn't mean it was a waste. Lets zoom in on it and find meaning.

Join me on this Thanksgiving day 2020 with some gratitude, no matter how hard that might be to find this year. We can find gratitude in the past, by acknowledging all the wonderful experiences we have had. We can also find it in this present moment, and in the future.

The moments that are bigger than us tend to lead us into many directions - hiding, frantically searching for answers, or we feel overwhelmed. I have found that such moments, of which we have many this year, are meant to lead us back to ourselves. They require reflection and contemplation as it is often in that quiet time with ourselves that we get to the insights we need to move forward.

Its election week and I am less concerned about who wins, and more about what our reaction as a country will be to the incoming president. The word civility has been on my mind lately and this week is a good time to remind ourselves that we cannot afford to forget about it. Being polite may not always be easy, but its the more effective and productive way to deal with issues we don't agree with and to treat people that are different from us.

I have been silent for a few weeks with this podcast and this episode is an attempt to explain my reasons. And while there are many potential explanations - the bottom line is this - I haven't gotten it done. And while I am tempted to blame 2020 with all its newness and not-normalness, I have also have to be honest with myself. I had ideas, but they haven't turned into action. This episode may resonate with many of you as I am certain we all in stuck in some areas of our life. And to get unstuck, we just need to take one small step. This episode is my first step.

In the last months, our lives have been pretty restricted, and we had to follow many guidelines devised by others. But that doesn't mean we need to give up control of our entire life. Being restricted is not the end. We are still in control of our life. Before we echo what everyone says or does, lets think for ourselves and lets make decisions that are best for us. This requires a constant choosing of ourselves over others, or whatever may seem easiest.

When life is challenging, its our tendency to escape. Or we furiously try to work out solutions to our issues. Yet there is a simpler answer that doesn’t waste so much effort and time. Its called presence. Being attentive with what is. Even if its uncertain or difficult, as it is for many of us at this moment.

I am fascinated by this grounding and yet inspiring book that brings home the importance of connecting with ourselves first before we can try to try love another. Piver beautifully connects the 4 Noble Truths of Buddhism to love and relationships, which begins with the love for ourselves.

A life-altering tragedy can be a stopping point for many of us. But not for Marilyn Washington Harris. Her love for her son has guided her through extremely challenging times, and at the same time gave her to fuel to turn her pain into action. Today she helps other mothers who have experienced loss through her organization named after her son and thereby inspires others to not stop with pain, but to move forward with love.

Things have fallen apart lately quite a bit for all of us. Pema Chödrön's book offers a light that can help us see in the darkness. And it begins with us. We have to change our grasping for safety and need for control and learn to see the lessons within the challenges before us.  Things falling apart then becomes good news, because it offers us the opportunity to begin again.

Meet Sarah Germany - a chef, educator and writer who provides hands-on nutrition, health and wellness education to low income communities of color. In this impactful conversation Sarah dives deep into food - her passion and her struggle with food, and how she turned food into a success story as well as a mission to help others heal with food. She is currently seeking representation her first full-length work, Stories from the Kitchen: There’s Healing at the Table, Ya’ll. And this conversation offers insight into the powerful stories Sarah has to share on her journey of redefining food for us. 

Who likes to talk about fear? The things that worry or scare us are better kept hidden. The problem is, fears find another way to show up. Sadly, that way may be less manageable - anger, jealousy, stress. There is an alternative that Pema Chödrön calls intimacy with fears. Its a befriending and a welcoming of those things that scare us, so we can see what they show us about ourselves and learn to move forward with them.  

Tune in as I am sharing some key insights gained from reading Essentialism, a book that reminded me again that I have more control over my life than I often think. Especially during these difficult times, we are distracted more than ever and getting the important goals done can be hard. This book is packed with tips on how to gain control over our life and the things that matter to us.  

Inspired by the book Essentialism, I have reconnected with the magic word Action. Action, no matter how tiny, will get us out of any rut. While the world is in a state of confusion and we feel helpless and floating from one day into the next without direction, we can still work towards our goals. Do the minimal viable thing you know will make a difference. It may not get you to your goal tomorrow, but it will pave the path to get there eventually.

Join me in this wonderful conversation with my friend and the Director of Business Development at the Berkeley Executive Coaching Institute, Mehmet Sevinç. He teaches us how to use personal stories to humanize our workplaces and our lives. When we share more of ourselves, we have the ability to build deeper and more meaningful connections with the people in our life.

At any given time, we are either above the line or below the line. We are above the line when we come from a place of trust and openness. But quite often, we come from below the line, meaning we feel threatened. We react defensively because we want to be right, and that causes conflicts and misunderstanding. In this episode we will talk about becoming more aware of the line which then helps us shift from below to above and have more effective interactions with the people in our life.

Join my conversation with Cathy DeForest who started a powerful organization called VisionQuilt that aims to reduce gun violence in our communities through art and dialogue. Cathy took action on a dream and combined her knowledge and experience from teaching and art to bring together people and partners to create positive change. The time is ripe for all of us to think on a bigger scale and contribute with our strengths and resources to make this world a better place. Allow yourself to be inspired by Cathy and her mission.

Darkness does not mean its all negative and the end is near. Often it is through darkness that we find the light. Darkness can show us what we are capable of. It can also help us become stronger for the next steps ahead.

Many of us are struggling with focus these days because to many issues, and all important, want our attention. It can be overwhelming and may result in fatigue and complete disorientation. My time out in nature has taught me how to find some focus again our current, often uncertain lives.

Episode 581 – Love over Fear with Amana Harris Join me in this wonderful conversation with Amana Harris, the Executive Director of the Attitudinal Healing Connection in Oakland. In a time when more people feel lost and disoriented, Amana offers another way: Love. We have love already within us and we can choose it every day. Learn more about her impactful work at the AHC and allow yourself to shine your light onto this world with your gifts. http://www.ahc-oakland.org/  

Episode 569 – Quest Stories: Be who you are All resources mentioned in this interview can be found below: Welcome friends I am so excited to bring you my first Zoom interview today I started easy – I asked 2 good friends to join me We call ourselves Team AirBNB because we shared an AirBNB each time we all flew to the east coast last year for our speaking program And its interesting when I think back – the first time we met was in an AirBNB We connected online and agreed to share the place But we didn’t know one another And then it worked out so well that the following 3 times we also roomed together And let me tell you – we roomed Sometimes we couldn’t get a nice 3 bedroom place, so we shared even smaller places together But you may wonder – what was it that worked out so well? I have wondered many times myself We are all different people, with different interests and ideas about the world But I think you’ll get an idea on this interview why we jived well together what I made this connection work so well was openness We all were open to one another Openness is just the starting point – it bring along so much more When you’re open – open-minded, open-hearted, open-spirited Then you’re accepting of the differences of the other person You’re more willing to be vulnerable And you respect the other person for who he or she is And when I listen to this interview – this is a quality I see all 3 of us have We all had different routines, different needs, different opinions, and yet we made it work Each morning we walked together to our training, stopped for coffee along the way, and then dispersed And at the end of the day we came together again, after we all did what we wanted to do It was never forced - We respected each other, We were not afraid to talk about what we needed Which at the same time sets boundaries While still remaining flexible and willing to compromise It was a very unique way of meeting someone new and forming a friendship and I am grateful to have these 2 amazing people in my life Knowing we can room together, even in Bharats tiny apartment in NYC where we stayed one time, is certainly a way to know we get along And on this interview you will hear what makes these 2 people so special and why they are so open, respectful and unafraid to be vulnerable Our upbringing certainly shapes our life, but its also what we do with it And also I hope it shows you that you don’t need to look a long time to make great friends Sometimes it requires just a leap of faith – like we all took when we decided to share a roof for a few days And then simply be yourself, Open, and not afraid to show who you are, Mallory’s takeaway at the end still sits in my mind I wont spoil it for you But I will say this: When you love yourself, When you’re open and generous and kind and forgiving with yourself – then the people with those characteristics will also come into your life As always – Start with you This is the goal of this podcast and I hope that this is also what you will take-away – among other things – from this interview And I would be deeply grateful if you share this conversation with some of your friends Much love Connect with Bharat and Mallory Bharat Nain www.Bharatnain.com facebook.com/bharatnain