Led by Dan & Susie, Rebel-Family is a community and set of resources for ambitious couples who want to take their marriage from good to great, and raise their family to live with unique purpose and impact. They've raised 7 awesome kids - a musician, a photographer, graphic designers... "family is our legacy, our life mission and the building blocks of our world"
All of our kids will experience some sort of loss. If it's not a close family member of friend, there is still the possibility of disappointment over a friendship lost, a low grade at school, or the pain of unmet expectations. How kids deal with this will determine whether they internalise and struggle, or if they process and find the nutrients in the grief.
There is a great good that we do to ourselves when we verbalise what we are doing and how it is going. To achieve the greatest win in family life, and loving and leading our families well, must come down to the day to day work. It's in the mundane and in the minutia that we live and work and play. That's where we can observe small steps in the right direction. That's also where we can celebrate and acknowledge how far we have come. And all that is just the good we do ourselves. There's also the great grace we afford others as we inspire and challenge them with a life lived well for God.
We’ve asked men and women in a seminar setting to identify what frustrates them about the communication style of the opposite sex. Here’s a listing of some of their responses. They don’t share their feelings or emotions enough. It’s like they grew up emotionally handicapped. They seem to go into a trance when they’re watching sports or when I bring up certain subjects. They’re not able to handle more than one task or subject at a time. Men seem to think that they can do things better, even when they can’t. And they won’t take any advice, even if it helps them. See the rest on list of responses from wives in our full course: "ZOMBIES - men recovering from zombie-like tendencies to under-communicate and lack listening skills required for a successful marriage".BLOG SIGNATURE - Join the Rebel Family facebook groupIt’s our new Facebook community where ambitious ruckus makers like you learn to crush some family goals. #couplegoals #rockstarparents — Click Here
Larry is the Founder of The Dad Edge Podcast (formerly The Good Dad Project Podcast). It is a strong community of Fathers who all share a set of values.Larry breaks down common challenges of fatherhood, making them easy to understand and overcome. Tackling the world of Fatherhood can be a daunting task when we try to do it alone.The mission of The Dad Edge Podcast (formerly The Good Dad Project Podcast) is to help men become the best, strongest, and happiest version of themselves so that they can help guide their kids to the best version of themselves.During this interview, Dan asks Larry about the time he nearly died, vision and mission in family life, how husbands and wives can learn to respect each other's differences, and what is the biggest game changer in marriage [hint: communication].
Our family just did a personality exercise [Life Languages], specifically it's a amazing exercise you do to determine your ‘communication style’.It's so powerful for family members to learn each other's unique ways of communication. And we had a riot discussing who in our family is more extrovert and who is more introvert.And we realised last night that our family has lived in an extroverts world, but now it's the turn of the extroverts to live in the world of the introvert. We have to learn to just be, to stay home, and to learn the things of being on our own. Susan Cain’s book: Quiet -" the extroverted ideal…there’s the social pressure for all of us to act like extroverts, and a stigma on those who are quiet. She traces history - in aggregation culture we were very quite, but when we moved into the city there were all sorts of stimuli, then in the Industrial Age we all learned to sell our products or ourselves. She says this created the ‘extroverted ideal’. But we forgot most of us need quiet. All amazing ventures - art, science…., came into being when we were in quiet. "Culture has now been called A virtual conspiracy against he inner life.Many of us just don’t know how to be alone.Pascal quote: “all of humanities problems arise from an inability to sit in a room quiet and alone.Henry Nowen, ’the way of the heart’ - “solitude is not a private therapeutic place, rather it is the place of conversion, the place of conversion, the place where the old self dies, and the new self is born, the place where the emergance of the new man and the new woman occurs, solitude is the furnace of transformation. Without solitude we remain victims of our society and continue to be entangled in the illusion of the false self. Solitude is the place of the great struggle and the great encounter - the struggle against the compulsions of the false self, and the encounter with the loving God who offers himself as the substance of the new self.
unresolved anger - quarantine can push your buttons hard, so don't neglect emotional and mental health care systems. If you don't learn to care for strong emotions you will hurt yourself when you internalise them over the long haul. Conversely, you may end up lashing out like a wild boar at the members of your own home.neglecting physical care - the continual slide into excessive sugar, avoiding any physical exercise, and sitting endlessly in a chair that makes you slouch like a slug on a melon.avoidance tactics to run from all and any confrontation or uncomfortable yet necessary marital conversations....you know exactly what I'm talking about.So what are you doing to fight these evils....?
One of the most helpful lessons over the years that I've realised just in church life, ministry, family life, is that Money Follows mission. It was designed that way by God.
There's an ingredient that has massively impacted my family life for good.I don't know of any thriving family that lacks this ingredient.There are so many things that can hit you hard and eat away at the soul of your family life.This ingredient is your "environment".This is an unchangeable principle. We must setup our family 'space' for success and be around a healthy community.We must encourage one another and spur each other on to a good and worthy life well lived.This is why we created the rebel family. It's to create an ecosystem that provides an environment for family growth.
It's those times when I've been crushed, flat on the floor, beat down, that I find myself forged into a better man.As parents there are times when you are praying for your kids and longing for them to have a bright future.The leadership of your family is going to undergo the greatest development in times of challenge and difficulty.In most spheres of life it is rare for all things to work out perfectly well. Nevertheless leadership happens best for those willing to show up."Let the storms show your mastery"This is a time for many families when leadership is made......or worse, lost.Make this a great hour of growth.
RECOVER "VISION" IN YOUR FAMILY LIFEThis is a time where I am radically reworking my family vision. So much is changing globally, so its a time to make some adjustments.Here are some pointers to help you adapt your family vision:ONE - use a 'family' journal.All successful project start with a written plan. Richard Branson is known to carry a small notebook in his pocket at all times. It's from here that his incredible direction is sourced. We need the same for our household.We need a destination to head towards. Use a journal.TWO - figure out and define what you don't likeOnly when we are clear on the issues, can we then figure out how to address these problems.THREE - write your obituaryWrite down how you would like people to speak of you, how people will recognise your life work, and how your life will finish.Measure your days this way. Consider what it will take to live your calling.FOUR - do the airport test.Imagine you're at the airport and you bump into one of your best friends from high school. You both talk for an hour before your flight boards. Pretend that future moment involves your friend asking what's happened in your life so far. And then imagine yourself telling them the most ideal and dreamlike picture.It forces you to write down what you really want, and the things your heart longs for.It doesn't mean you are going after that 'pink Lambo' but it helps reveal things deep down in your heart. It's an investigative exercise. It helps you figure out what's really important, and helps you be honest with yourself.FIVE - do a personality / strengths test for your familyWe have loved doing the enneagram. Google it.Even more so we have loved doing Life Languages. It shows your unique communication style. And how your family can best harness your uniqueness to effectively related and communicate with each other.We use life languages in our rebel family facebook community and we have coaches that walk you through your unique profile. It's well worth it.
his should be a sacred space for your family vision, mission and values.Here are 3 ways we like to use our table -ONE - PLAN WHAT'S HAPPENINGWe discuss all the important things at the table:...what's happening in the world...exercise goals, press ups, muscle ups...how is everyone 'upskilling' and learning new thingsTWO - KIDS GET TO OFFER SOLUTIONSThe family dinner table is the perfect place where the kids can learn, one by one, to offer solutions.Back yard work...Painting walls..Figuring out chores...Brainstorming new books to read, movies to watch, skills to learn...THREE - HIGHLIGHT YOUR POWERFUL FAMILY VALUESWe highlight the value of fun.We love to learn to cook new meals.We love to connect with our neighbours and help them out. It does our kids so much good. They are finding lots of ways to connect in and help others. It powerfully takes the focus off of self and selfishness.Use the table to get the needle back to north. Some things simply take a lot of work and energy and the results may only be seen years down the road. But it's worth it.
The family meal table is the place where everybody gets to talk. It's where everyone experiences what's happening, connections are strengthened and values are clarified.No matter what's going on or what's happening, it's the place where everybody gets an opportunity to share how they are doing.It's doesn't matter if it's stressy, or emotional, it's so powerful to unburden themselves of what they are carrying.The uncertainties of our time, the burdens or anxieties of the heart, all of these can be identified and shared.Parents get to display the immensely powerful 'value' of 'GRACE'. It is the powerful piece of belonging and being accepted in a family.Grace is healing.Grace is accepting.Grace listens.Grace heals.Grace loves and cherishes.This is how parents make sure their kids know their identity as a powerful human being who 'belongs' and is received in the family.Beware of some things...Watch out for 'perfectionism'. The burden of trying to make everything perfect is back-breaking.Watch out for the enemy of unforgiveness. Your family should be a place where everyone gets to enjoy forgiveness. It never excuses bad behaviour, nor does it allow for ongoing bad behaviour.....but it always allows for a way back after the wrongdoing has been admitted.
The best military units in the world utilise amazing communication protocol.The family, which is the building block of society, is worthy of effective communication systems.CONSIDER YOUR COMMS IN THE FIRST PART OF YOUR DAYThere are always communications happening in the beginning of the day. Give it shape with joyful, affection speech around the breakfast table.Pray together.Express a grateful heart.Use it as a sacred space.Have everyone share how they are doing.This is a profound opportunity for you to establish the values of grace and togetherness around the meal table.This is the place for kindness to be expressed. Everyone should feel a powerful sense of belonging.COMMUNICATION WEEKLY GOALS WITH YOUR FAMILYMake these visible where everyone can see them.If it doesn't get written down it was never discussed.Get it on paper.We use a family whatsapp group. Here we constantly communicate with each other as a family.WRITE IN YOUR FAMILY JOURNALYour kids will know how important your family is.They will feel their ideas, their thoughts, their aspirations will become a treasure in your family culture.THE POWER OF CELEBRATING SUCCESSIt says so much when you celebrate important things.Whatever you celebrate is highlighted as important.Celebrate important things......a birthday...siblings doing a work project...learning a new skill...celebrate forgiveness
This has been a huge time for us as a couple to review our marriage. We've really been tested as a couple...Here are three things we are doing to invest in our marriage.FIRSTWe are investing in how we communicate with each other.The Rebel Family facebook group is loaded with marriage communication resources. We all have unique ways we communicate, and particular ways we fail to communicate.If you take some practical steps to work on your communication it will massively impact the strength of your marriage.Neglect this area of your marriage at your peril.It is a well known fact that the breakdown of communication is the greatest factor in the breakdown of teams, organisations, project failure and on and goes the list of casualties... this is the same for marriage!!SECONDWe ordered the book, 'Love After Marriage'.We are working through each section together and using it as a guide.If you have a destination of closer communication, a mechanism to get there, and you both commit, then you have taken responsibility for your future.THIRDWe are going on a walk together every day.Do this together, walking hand in hand, away from all other distractions. It's crazy simple, but it's our plan.Date nights aren't happening as normal right now, and my wife and I really need time to connect and figure things out.
There's an old maritime proverb that goes like this - "let the storms show your mastery".Some of us have led our family through storms before. But for others, this crisis is new territory. Know that this will be one of your most tryingtimes.Fortunately, you’ve been preparing for this moment for a while now—you just didn’t know it. This moment is where real leadership is made, or worse, lost.This is undeniably an opportunity. It is possible to parent well right now.When the storms rage, your leadership should be forged to be stronger than ever.Don't lose this opportunity to display grace......show affection...give direction...think bigger...establish your kids values...upskill their abilities...lean inThis is a sacred moment for the leadership of our families.