Dr. Jankovich has been working as a psychologist since 1974. She works with a range of problems including relationships, depression, anxiety, sleep disorders, grief, trauma, and struggles with life transitions. Rebecca practices what she preaches to not burn out by leaving the office to ride equine…
New Year’s Eve, time to look back on the year, and forward to the future.
The Holidays can be a difficult time because of the expectations that all should be good in your life.
What I’m about to say does not apply to people in relationships in which physical, verbal or emotional abuse occurs.
Today is a time to consider what makes you grateful.
It is a wrenching decision whether you bail your child out of jail.
It’s hard to know when your child’s behavior is out of the ordinary.
There’s an art in how to listen to someone talking, whether it be telling a story or discussing a problem.
Resiliency is being able to adapt to whatever happens, as opposed to reacting to changes with anger, hopelessness or despair.
Dr. Barrett, a neuroscientist, reported in the New York Times (‘PMS is not just a cliché’. NYT, 6/8/2019) that Premenstrual Syndrome is a real, biological event for some women; the hormonal changes prior to flow of menses, cause women with PMS to experience more intense and negative emotions.
I worked with a couple having an intense fight.
It feels so good to be right…so good that you want to say “I told you so” when what you predicted, comes true.
When you’re divorced and your Ex dies, the rituals of grief can be awkward.
Couples may argue over politics. One is conservative and the other liberal. Discussing differences of opinion can help you understand your partner’s beliefs and know them better.
It’s difficult to adjust to a divorce if you’ve been married since you were in your 20’s, and your life has been centered around family and work.
Clients ask what they can do to care less about whether people like them.
When a loved one has dementia, you go through stages of acceptance.
The New York Times suggests before sending your teenager to college, teach them financial basics.
Emotions are complex but not always rational.
When you are not the one who wanted the divorce, getting through losing your marriage is much harder than if you’re the one who wanted the divorce.
In my office partners complain about their person being on the phone rather than paying attention to them. It’s not just teenagers who are glued to their phones.
When you diminish your partner’s feelings, opinions, reactions…you only create resentment and resistance.
When your alcoholic partner gets sober, you expect to feel exuberant-you can relax and have the relationship you believed was possible. Only, that’s not what usually happens.
Using yourself as the frame from which to decide if someone else’s reactions are normal, is a really bad idea, yet it's something we all seem to do.
No one escapes having regrets; the longer you live, the more you have. Regrets for a decision made, or a choice you didn’t make; regrets for foolish behavior that lead to bad outcomes; regrets for self- destructive acts, regrets for a path not taken.
With the instant access of cell phones, parents, especially mothers are complaining that when they contact their children, it can take hours or even an entire day, for their child to get back to them.
Wonder why you’re more tired doing your work through video platforms like Zoom, Facetime, or Skype?
Emotions and concerns about the future have been running high with the sequester and the pandemic.
Many are struggling with the fear of not being able to predict that’s going to happen because of the COVID 19 pandemic. What we read, the news we hear, keeps triggering our fears about possible changes in the future; like not knowing when the economy will rebound.
When there’s an agreement for change, partners tend to keep the agreement for a few weeks, then someone falls out, and the agreement fades.
Blaming your partner for something unavoidable that’s already over, is harmful to your relationship. I’m not talking about blaming a partner for bad decisions that were clearly under their control like infidelity. I’m talking about getting fired, being in a car accident, or the flight is cancelled.
You have a buying problem if you’re spending more money than your budget allows, hiding your purchases, neglecting other responsibilities because you are shopping, or your shopping is causing problems in your relationships.
Just because you have memory slips and you’re over 50, does not mean you are heading for dementia. If you are over 50, it’s common to have someone’s name slip your mind; to misplace things; to struggle to find the right word; to walk into a room and forget why you went there.
Our ideas about pedophiles are changing. We used to think pedophiles acquire sexual attraction to children because they were sexually abused themselves as children. Not so. Most convicted pedophiles were not sexually abused; research suggests they develop differently in the womb so that what arouses them as children and teens, remains the object of their arousal as adults. Their attraction to children, while they are children, does not mature as they age. We used to think only men were pedophiles. Not so. Women also prey sexually on children. We thought looking at child pornography could awaken previously unknown attraction to children. Not so. The majority of people who look at child pornography have already committed sexual abuse against children. Looking at child pornography doesn’t cause the first act, but it may arouse desire and trigger future acts. Frightening stuff. When you think your children are old enough, teach them there are people who hurt children and talk with them
Research confirms when kids participate in team sports with supportive coaches, they learn to be more resilient, have better social skills, and improved self-esteem. The resilience may come from learning to accept that they don’t always win. Physicians suggest children should play in more than one sport so they’re using different muscle groups: not only soccer, but also a sport using upper body muscles like swimming or tennis. Teach your child the importance of rest to restore energy and allow the body to heal from the workouts. A couple of days a week there should be no sport practice so children are free to play and learn to entertain themselves. Rather than focus on winning, focus on the pleasure of hard work and having fun. Ask your child not whether they were the best, but what was fun about the practice today; what skill were they trying to improve. Teach them the fun in is working hard, not just winning.
Interrupting can be disrespectful.
Why people jump in and take over the conversation.
If you use marijuana your kids are far more likely to use as well.
Consider the impact of your outer circle of acquaintances.
Kids often believe they must go to a top ten school. This is simply not true.
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