Sexistential U

This is a manifesto like rambling about DNA ancestry organizations. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/support

Janis and Rachel reflect on the process of creating Season 2 of Sexistential U, including how we heal and practice self-care through experiences of sexualization and power, and how we understand our roles as educators and therapists with humility. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/support

Rachel and Janis talk about intimate partner violence, the warning signs, why it's hard to leave, who gets left out of the conversation about IPV (the invisible victim/survivors), the idea that "hurt people hurt people," and where to look for help. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/support

Janis and Rachel talk about dynamics of sexualization and power inherent in incest and rape both from an intellectual/fantasy perspective and in the context of real life power dynamics and harm. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/support

Rachel and Janis discuss sexual harassment both IRL and online. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/support

Rachel and Janis talk about the complicated phenomenon of withholding sex to get what you want in a relationship and the gender norms it operates along. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/support

Rachel and Janis discuss movies, TV, songs, books, all the ways we were taught about sexualization and power without even really knowing it. Also, Janis COMPLETELY confuses Big Little Lies with Sharp Objects (because Reese Witherspoon and Amy Adams look totally identical to her) and is totally perplexed in part one. --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/support

Janis and Rachel introduce the Circle of Sexuality that covers Sexualization & Power. Janis bemoans the fact that talking about sexual violence is such a norm that it's just another day ending in Y, and the two reflect on their flirting game, and what comes to mind when they hear the word "seduction." The identified elements of the sexualization & power circle are: flirting & seduction media messages/images, withholding sex, sexual harassment, incest and rape. Quote: "The quality of Game is much more about being honest and being yourself than being smooth. It's not about small talk, filling the space, or easing the awkwardness. It's letting true desire and curiosity come to the forefront of an interaction." - Adrienne Maree Brown, Pleasure Activism Quote: "Seducers are people who understand the tremendous power..." - Robert Greene, The Concise Art of Seduction Love Languages Zahira Kelly-Cabrera Relationship Anarchy Manifesto Pick Up Artists and Rape Culture The Jeremy (That one is just for fun lol) Why Men Need Platonic Touch The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men's Lives is a Killer Q to the audience: What are some of your experiences with seduction and/or flirting? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/support

Rachel and Janis talk about what they've learned so far from Pleasure Activism, and critique the absence of pleasure in mainstream sex ed curricula. Sex Negative Culture WHAT IF WE ADMITTED TO CHILDREN THAT SEX IS PRIMARILY ABOUT PLEASURE? The Female Price of Male Pleasure - Lili Loofbourow Sexual Pleasure is a Human Right Uses of the Erotic - Audre Lorde Pleasure Activism: The Politics of Feeling Good - Adrienne Maree Brown Pleasure Activism - Podcast Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire Quote: Adrienne Maree Brown “I am having the best sex of my life, and it isn’t an accident.” "With time I realized it wasn’t about orgasmic marathons but about my presence, about my detachment from outcome, about my ability to bring my whole self to the point of contact with a lover or a finger or a toy. About letting my lover know when they are at the mouth of the river, of saying yes (and stay, and harder)." --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/support

Janis talks to Danielle aka @thesexpottherapist (she/her/That Bitch) about sex and spirituality, cannabis and meditation, sex ed, sex work, and our shared values about authenticity and self-disclosure as therapists which Danielle declares perfectly as "Human First, Therapist Second." You can find Danielle online at: IG: @thesexpottherapist Twitter: @sexpottherapist Sex Talk: Misconception and More with The Sex Pot Therapist, Cash Color Cannabis --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/support

Rachel and Janis discuss internalized oppression and how and why it functions. Quote 1: "Men always say that as the defining compliment, don't they? She's a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves threesomes and anal sex, and jams hot dogs and hamburgers into her mouth like she's hosting the world's biggest culinary gang bang while somehow maintaining a size 2, because Cool Girls are above all, hot. Hot and understanding. Cool Girls never get angry; they only smile in a chagrined, loving manner and let their men do whatever they want. Go ahead, shit on me, I don't mind, I'm the Cool Girl. Men actually think this girl exists. Maybe they're fooled because so many women are willing to pretend to be this girl." - Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl Quote 2: "Reenvisioned, anger can be the most feminine of virtues: compassionate, fierce, wise, and powerful. The women I admire most—those who have looked to themselves and the limitations and adversities that come with our bodies and the expectations that come with them—have all found ways to transform their anger into meaningful change. In them, anger has moved from debilitation to liberation. Your anger is a gift you give to yourself and the world that is yours. In anger, I have lived more fully, freely, intensely, sensitively, and politically. If ever there was a time not to silence yourself, to channel your anger into healthy places and choices, this is it.” - Soraya Chemaly, Rage Becomes Her Internalized Oppression Reframing Internalized Oppression and Internalized Domination: From the Psychological to the Sociocultural The Strange, Sad Case Of Laci Green — Feminist Hero Turned Anti-Feminist Defender Dildon’t Disrespect Black Femmes - Ev’yan Whitney Wildflower Sex and the Perpetuation of White Supremacy in Sex Positive Spaces Cameron Glover Ashleigh Chubby Bunny Sex Ed In Color Q to Audience: When did you first recognize your own internalized oppression or see it in someone else? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/support

Rachel and Janis discuss patriarchy and toxic masculinity and how it hurts men (and also everyone else). Resources: What we mean when we say toxic masculinity Bell Hooks: The Will to Change: Men, Masculinity, and Love History of Incels (Involuntary Celibates) The Rage of Incels How Men's Rights Activists are not really fighting for men's rights Male Contraception Class Status and the Construction of Black Masculinity @KissAndCurse - Instagram Kevin Powell On Moving Beyond His Own Toxic Masculinity Talk Like A Man The Good Men Project A Call to Men Eldra Jackson: How I unlearned dangerous lessons about masculinity Q for the audience: What are some patriarchal truths that you’re holding on to? What purpose does it serve in your life? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/support

Rachel and Janis talk about nicknames for body parts and sex, how they impact how we think and feel about ourselves, and explore the concept of body autonomy. Resources: Genital Nicknames - Vagina/Vulva Genital Nicknames - Penis Nicknames - Intercourse Body Autonomy Your Body Belongs To You - Children's Book A Mighty Girl - blog Sex Positive Parenting Teaching Kids About Consent Raising Kids Without Sexual Shame - Facebook Sex Positive Families - Facebook The Ethical Slut - Book Pleasure Activism - Book Pleasure Activism - Podcast Q to audience: Why do you think we didn’t just call genitals and sex by their actual names? What is the result of having alternative nicknames? How does it contribute to shame? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/support

Janis and Rachel talk about Hustlers (and the problematic behind the scenes of Hustlers) and what we really, really want from sex worker representation in media. (Hint: We want stories WRITTEN BY SEX WORKERS.) Read: "I'm Not A Stripper, But I Play One on TV" - Janis's review of Hustlers at Autostraddle #TWEETYOURHUSTLE BRINGS VISIBILITY AND PRAISE FOR SOME ‘HUSTLERS’ — BUT NOT SEX WORKERS Why Some Sex Workers Aren't Happy With Hustlers --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/support

Rachel and Janis explore some of the history of sex negativity and introduce the Circles of Sexuality. **Rachel made a mistake when she was speaking about the Victorian Era coming from England... she mistakenly shared that there was a reciprocal relationship with the UK, she meant the US. Resources: Circles of Sexuality 19th Century Sexual Mores Jugum Penis Sex Tips for Husbands and Wives Pornography and Prostitution Theresa Berkley Slutist Tarot Deck GEMS - Girls Education & Mentoring Services Very Young Girls - Documentary Hysteria - Rachel Maines got it wrong Dr. Zelaika Hepworth Clarke - Decolonizing Sexuality Bianca Laureano - Women of Color Sexual Health Network Margaret Atwood Girls & Sex: Navigating the Complicated New Landscape Cinderella Ate My Daughter: Dispatches from the Front Lines of the New Girlie-Girl Culture GLSEN - No Promo Homo Laws Abstinence-Only Sex Education FOSTA-SESTA, Vox FOSTA-SESTA Toxic masculinity as a health issue Q to Audience: If you grew up with more information about sexuality, how would your social and sexual interactions be different? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/support

Get to know Rachel and Janis, our backgrounds in sex ed and sex therapy, and why we're here to bring you the sex ed you deserve! Q to audience: What are some of your sexistential crises? --- Send in a voice message: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/message Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/sexistentialu/support