Podcasts about cool girls

You're listening to Burnt Toast! Today, my guest is Tracy Clark-Flory. Tracy is the feminist writer behind the newsletter TCF Emails and the author of Want Me: A Sex Writer's Journey into the Heart of Desire. She's also the cohost of the new podcast Dire Straights where she and Amanda Montei unpack the many toxic aspects of heterosexual relationships and culture. I brought Tracy on the podcast today to talk about my feet, but we get into so much more. We talk about porn, sexual identity, and the male gaze—and, of course, how all of this makes us feel in our bodies.This episode is free but if you value this conversation, please consider supporting our work with a paid subscription. Burnt Toast is 100% reader- and listener-supported. We literally can't do this without you.PS. You can always listen to this pod right here in your email, where you'll also receive full transcripts (edited and condensed for clarity). But please also follow us in Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and/or Pocket Casts! And if you enjoy today's conversation, please tap the heart on this post — likes are one of the biggest drivers of traffic from Substack's Notes, so that's a super easy, free way to support the show!Episode 202 TranscriptVirginiaI am so excited. We've been Internet friends for a long time, and it's so nice to finally have a conversation. I'm very jazzed! TracyRight? I feel like we've talked before, but we have not, which is such an odd sensation. We've emailed.VirginiaWe've emailed, we've DM-ed, we've commented on each other's things. But we have not, with our faces and mouths, had a conversation. The Internet is so weird.Well, the Internet being weird is a lot of what we're gonna talk about today. Because where I want to start today is feet.TracyWhy not?VirginiaSo I initially emailed you when I was working on my essay about my Wikifeet experience, because you have written so extensively about porn and the Internet's treatment of women. And when I discovered my Wikifeet, one of my first thoughts was, “I need to talk to Tracy about this.” TracyThat makes me so happy. I want to be the first person that everyone thinks of when they find themselves on Wikifeet.VirginiaI was like, “I don't know how she'll feel…” so I'm glad you take that as a compliment.I don't even know where to start. Even though I wrote a whole essay about this, my brain is still, like, “record scratch moment” on the whole thing. Sojust talk to us a little bit where in your vast reporting on porn did you kind of become aware of fetish sites and what's your read on them? What's going on there?TracyI think I first became aware of Wikifeet in 2008-ish when they launched, and that's when I was a proper, full-time sex writer, on the sex beat, covering every weird niche Internet community. And then in the years since, I've unfortunately had many women colleagues—often feminist writers—who have ended up on the site. So unfortunately, you're not the first person I know who's ended up on there.VirginiaIt's a weird thing that a certain type of woman writer is gonna end up on Wikifeet. Why?TracyThere are no shortage of women who are consensually volunteering photos of their feet online for people to consume in a sexualized way, right? So the fact is that this site is providing a venue for people to do it in a very nonconsensual way, where images are taken from other venues that are not sexualized. They're stolen images, you know? Things that are screenshotted from Instagram stories, that kind of thing—and then put into this sexualized context. Not only that, but put into a sexualized context where there is a community around sexualizing and objectifying and even rating and evaluating body parts.My take is that this violation is part of the point. Because there is having a foot fetish—great, have at it, enjoy. And then there's consuming images that are nonconsensual. So I think that the violation is part of the point. And to the point of feminist writers, women writers online, ending up on it—I don't think it's an accident. Because I think that there is—perhaps for some, maybe not all—some pleasure taken in that aspect of trespass.VirginiaYes. My best friend is a food blogger, and I immediately searched for her because she's way more famous than I am, and she's not on there. And I'm glad, I don't want her non-consensually on there! But I was like, oh, it's interesting that I'm on there, lyz is on there. It is a certain type of woman that men are finding objectionable on the Internet. And putting us on WikiFeet is a retaliation or just a way of—I don't know. It's not a direct attack, because I didn't even know about it for however long my feet have been up there. But it is a way for men to feel like they're in control of us in some way, right?TracyOh, totally. And it's because there is something interesting about taking a body part that is not broadly and generally sexualized, and sexualizing it. There is this feeling of a “gotcha!” in it.There is something, too, about feet—I mean, I think this is part of what plays into foot fetish, often. There is this sense of dirtiness, potentially, but also the sense of often being hidden away. It's secret, it's private, it's delicate, it's tender. Feet are ticklish, there's so much layered in there that I think can make it feel like this place of vulnerability.I've written about upskirting. This was maybe like 15 years ago. But it's these communities where men take upskirt videos and photos of women on the subway or wherever, and then they share them in online forums. And that's very clearly a physical trespass. You're seeing something that was not meant to be seen. So it's quite different. But it's feels like it exists on a spectrum of trespass and violation and taking sexualized enjoyment out of that.VirginiaFrom someone who had no intention of you taking that enjoyment, who's just trying to ride the train to work.TracyTotally. And the foot thing, it just makes me think of all these different ways that women experience their bodies in the world. You can't just be at ease in your body, because someone might think your feet are hot.VirginiaIt's really interesting. I've talked about this on the podcast before: A little bit after I got divorced and I started having, weekends totally to myself in my house, it was the first time I'd been alone in my house in a long time. Obviously, usually my kids were there. My husband used to be there. And I had this strange sensation of being observed, even when I was completely alone in the house.It's just me and the dog. She's asleep. I'm making dinner or watching TV or doing whatever I'm doing. And I couldn't shake the sensation that I was watching myself, still thinking about what I was going to wear. It was so weird, and I realized it actually isn't particularly a comment on my marriage. It's more a comment on women are so trained to always feel observed. It's really hard for us to actually access a space where we're not going to be observed. It was wild.TracyWe adopt that perspective of the watcher, and we are the watched. We experience ourselves in that way, as opposed to being the watcher, the person who sees and consumes the world and experiences the world. It's like we experience ourselves being experienced by someone else—an imagined man often.VirginiaYes, you're always self-objectifying. It doesn't matter whether you're trying to please that gaze, whether you're trying to protect yourself against that gaze. Whatever it is, we're always aware of how we'll be perceived in a way that I don't think cis men ever have to consider. I don't think that's a part of their experience of the world in the same way.TracyAnd how messed up is that tension between trying to please and trying to protect oneself? What an impossible tightrope walk to be constantly doing.VirginiaRight, and to not even know which one you want sometimes. Like, which one you need, which one you want.TracyYeah, going back and forth between those extremes. You're always kind of monitoring and on edge.VirginiaAnd, it did shift. Now when I'm alone in my house, I don't feel like I'm watching myself. Like, it did lessen. But it was this very stark moment of noticing that. And I think the way our work is so online, we are so online, it doesn't help. Because we also have all learned through the performance art of social media to constantly be documenting. And even if you're by yourself, you might post something about it. There's that need to narrate and document and then also objectify your experience.TracyThe sense of, like, if I don't take a photo of it, it doesn't exist. It didn't happen. It's not real. It must be consumed by other people. I mean, when you were talking earlier about that sense of being surveyed, I think that is a very just common experience for women, period. But then I think, for me, growing up with reality TV, the explosion of reality TV, like that added this like sense of a camera on one's life.And then I think, like, if you want to bring porn into it, too—Like, in the bedroom, that sense of the watcher, so you have this sense of being watched by men, but then you have the sense of kind of performing for an audience, because that's so much of what I came up with culturally.VirginiaI mean, the way we often conceive of our sexuality is through performance and how are you being perceived not how are you experiencing it yourself? I mean, you write about that so well, that tension.TracyThat was my whole thing. My sexual coming of age memoir is so much about what it meant to try to move out of that focus on how I'm being perceived by my partner and into a place of what am I experiencing? What do I even want beyond being wanted?VirginiaMan, it's amazing we've all survived and gotten where we are. Another layer to this, that I thought about a lot as I was processing my Wikifeet, was how instantly I felt like I had to laugh it off. I really felt like I couldn't access my true reaction to it. I just immediately sort of went into this Cool Girl, resigned, jaded, like “What do you expect from the Internet?” This is why I wanted to talk to you. Because I was like, oh, this feels very similar to stuff Tracy struggled with and wrote about in her memoir.TracyOh, totally. It makes total sense to me that you would go to that default place. It makes me think of how I, especially early in my career writing online as a feminist blogger, I would print out the very worst, most misogynistic hateful comments and post them on my fridge because I was willing myself to find them funny, to be able to laugh at them and just kind of distance myself from them and to feel untouched by them.I think that Cool Girl stance is a way of putting on protective armor. So I think that makes sense as a woman writing online, but I also think it makes sense in the context of sex. So much of what I did—this performative sexuality, this kind of sense of being down for whatever in my 20s—was, subconsciously, a kind of defensive posture. Because I think I had this feeling that if I'm down for anything, then nothing can be done against my will, you know? And that was the mental gambit that I had to engage in, in order to feel safe enough to explore my sexuality freely. Granted, it wasn't very freely, turns out. But it makes total sense that you would want to default to the laughing at what is really a violation. Because I do think that there's something protective about that. It's like, “No, you're not going to do this to me. You're not going to make me feel a certain way about this.” But that only takes you so far.VirginiaWell, because at the same time, it also is a way of communicating, “Don't worry, I can take a joke. I'm not one of those feminists.” It also plays right into that. So it's protective and you can't rattle me. And, I'll also minimize this just like you want me to minimize it. So I'm actually doing what you want. Then my brain breaks.TracyRight? And then we're back to that thing we were just talking about, the wanting to please, but then wanting to protect oneself, and the impossible balancing act of that. VirginiaLike you were saying you've experienced these horrific misogynistic troll comments. I experienced them in the more fatphobic sense, but like a mix, misogyny and fatphobia, very good friends.So I think when you've experienced more extreme things, you then do feel like you have to downplay some of the minor stuff. It feels scarier for men to say that my children should be taken away from me than it does for them to take pictures of my feet. I can hold that. And yet I'm still allowed to be upset about the foot thing. Just because some things are more awful, it doesn't mean that we stop having a conversation about the more mundane forms of violation, because the more mundane forms of it are also what we're all experiencing all the time.TracyRight? Like the daily experience of it. I mean, unfortunately, there just is a full, rich spectrum of violation.VirginiaSo many choices, so many ways, so many body parts.TracyI do think that the extreme examples do kind of serve to normalize the less extreme, you know? And what we sort of end up putting up with, you know? VirginiaWhat would you say was a helpful turning point for you? What helped you start to step back from being in that cool girl mode? From being in that “I'm performing sex for other people” mode? What helped you access it for yourself?TracyI mean, honestly? A piece of it was porn. It's funny because I turned to porn as a teenager online in the 90s as a source of—I felt at the time—intel about what men wanted. Like, here's how to be what men wanted. And I tried to perform that, you know? And there were downsides to that, of course. There are some downsides. But I would also say that like in the midst of plumbing the depths of 2000s-era, early 2000s-era tube sites to understand what men “wanted,” I also started to kind of explore what I wanted.I wasn't drawn to it from that place of self discovery, but I kind of accidentally stumbled into it because I was watching these videos. And then I was like, oh, wait, what about this thing? Like, that's kind of interesting to me. And then, you start to kind of tumble down the rabbit hole accidentally. Women are socialized to not pursue that rabbit hole for themselves, right? So it was only in pursuing men's desires that I felt like I was able to unlock this whole other world of fantasy and desire for myself that I wanted to explore and that I was able to get into some non-mainstream, queer indie porn that actually felt very radical and eye opening.It was this circuitous route to myself. That was just a piece, I think, of opening up my mind to the world of fantasy, which felt very freeing. Then, getting into a relationship where with a partner who I could actually be vulnerable with, was a huge piece of it. To actually feel safe enough to explore and not be performing, and to have those moments of awkwardness and that you're not just this expert performer all the time. Like, that doesn't lead to good sex.VirginiaNo, definitely not.There's a part in the memoir with your then boyfriend, now husband, and you say that you wanted—you call it “a cozy life.” And I think you guys put that in your wedding vows. I think about that all the time. I think it's so beautiful. Just like, oh right, that's what we're looking for. It's not this other giant thing, the performing and the—I don't know, there's something about that really stuck with meTracyThat's so interesting. I haven't thought about that for a while. It's really interesting, and it's funny, because it was part of our wedding vows. VirginiaCozy means safety with another person, that felt safety with another person, right? And the way we are trained to think of sex and relationships really doesn't prioritize women's safety, kind of ever.TracyI mean, yeah, it's true. There is something very particular about that word cozy—it's different from when people say, like, “I want a comfortable life.” VirginiaYeah, that's bougie.TracyCozy is like, I want to be wrapped in a cozy blanket on the couch with you. And feel safe and intimate and vulnerable. So thank you for reminding me of that thing that I wrote.VirginiaWell, It was really beautiful, and I think about it often, and it was kind of clarifying for me personally. And it's not saying sex won't be hot, you know? It's just that you have that connection and foundation to build whatever you're going to build.TracyRight? And I think coziness kind of is a perfect starting point for being able to experience sexiness and hotness. I think we have this cultural idea that one must have this mystery and sense of otherness in order to be able to build that kind of spice and fire. And at least in my experience, that was not ever the case. I know that other people have that experience, but for me, I never had the experience of that sense of otherness and kind of fear even, and trepidation about this other person leading to a really exciting experience. It was more like being able to get to a place of trust and vulnerability that could get you there.VirginiaAnd obviously, there are all different ways people enjoy and engage in sex. And I don't think every sexual relationship has to be founded in any one thing, but I think when we're talking about this transition that a lot of women go through, from participating in sex for his pleasure, for performance, for validation, to it being something you can do on your own terms, I think the coziness concept is really helpful. There's something there.All right, well, so now you are working on a new podcast with Amanda, as we mentioned, called Dire Straights. Tracy, I'm so excited, because Heterosexuals are not okay. We are not okay, as a population.TracyJust like, literally, look at anywhere. Open up the front page of The New York Times. We're not okay on so many levels.VirginiaSo tell us about the pod.TracySo it's a feminist podcast about heterosexual love, sex, politics and culture, and every episode, we basically pick apart a new element of straight culture. So examples would be couples therapy, dating apps, sex strikes, monogamy, the manosphere, pronatalism, the list goes on and on. Literally this podcast could just never end. There's too much fodder. Unfortunately, I'd love for it to end for a lack of content, but that's not going to happen.So we look at both sex and dating alongside marriage and divorce, and the unequal realm of hetero parenting. We examine celebrities and politicians and consider them as case studies of dire heterosexuality. Tech bros, tradwives, terfs, all the whole cast of terrible hetero characters are up for examination, and our aim is to examine the worst of straight culture, but it's also to step back and kind of try to imagine better possibilities.It's not fatalist, it's not nihilistic. I think we both have this sense of wanting to engage in some kind of utopian dreaming one might say, while we're also picking apart what is so awful and terrible about the current state of heterosexual culture.So our first episode is about dark femininity influencers. I don't know if you've ever encountered them online.VirginiaYes, but I hadn't connected the dots. So I was like, oh, this is a thing.TracyThat's that thing, yeah. That's how I experienced it. It was, like, they just started showing up on my TikTok feed, these women who are usually white and wearing a bold red lip and smokey eyes, and they're essentially promising to teach women how to use their sex appeal in order to manipulate straight men into better behavior. They're selling this idea of seduction as liberation, and specifically liberation from the disappointments of the straight dating world. This idea is that by harnessing your seductive powers, you can be in control in this terrible, awful straight dating sphere.VirginiaIt's like, if Drusilla from Buffy the Vampire Slayer wrote a dating book. I don't know if that reference speaks to you or not.TracyI'm a little rusty on my Buffy, I have to say.VirginiaShe's like, pale skin, red lips, black hair, and tortures men. But yeah, it's this idea that you harness all your like, seductive powers to torture men to get what you want, which is men. Which is a husband or a boyfriend or gifts or whatever. They're shooting for a heterosexual relationship by exerting this power over men, and so the idea is it is somehow it's giving them more power in a patriarchal dynamic. But it doesn't really because they end up in the same place.TracyIt's the same place, it's the same exact place. It feels to me, in some ways, like a corrective against the cool girl stuff that we're talking about that kind of emerged in the 2000s, where, you know, it's this sort of like being down for whatever, that kind of thing. These women are kind of saying, you're not going to sleep with him on the first date. You're going to make him work for it, you know? And so there's a sense of like, I'm in control, because I'm not giving it away for free. It plays into all these awful ideas about women and sex and power. But it is ultimately ending up in the same place, and it is just ultimately about getting a man, keeping a man. And so, you know, how different is it really? I don't think it is.VirginiaI mean, it's not. It's the same rules and conversations that Charlotte's having in the first season of Sex in the City, which is ancient at this point. How are we still here? Are we still here?TracyWe're just inventing new aesthetics to kind of repackage these very old, retro, sexist ideas, you know?VirginiaI also think it's really interesting and helpful that you are interrogating straight culture as someone inside a heterosexual marriage. I've written about my own divorce, my critiques of marriage, and it triggers great conversations, but it always triggers a very uncomfortable response from a lot of married women who don't really want to go there, don't really want to pick up the rocks and look underneath it because it's too scary. It makes sense. And I'm wondering how you think about that piece, and how that's working for you.TracyI think it's very destabilizing for a lot of women in straight marriages and just straight relationships, period, to consider these things. I think it was over a year ago now that I wrote this piece about trying to coin this term hetero-exceptionalism in response to the backlash that I was seeing to the divorce memoir boom, where women reviewers, but also just people on Twitter or wherever, were kind of pointing at these authors and being like, well, I don't know what's wrong with you because my marriage is great.VirginiaThe Emily Gould piece in New York.TracyThere's this sense of like, oh, well, either I chose a good man or I know how to conduct a healthy relationship.VirginiaI'm willing to put in the work.TracyGotta put in the work. You will love our next episode about couples therapy, because we talk about this concept of putting in the work, and the idea that marriage is work, and that if you're not doing the work you're lazy. You're failing, the whole project of it.VirginiaThank you for unpacking that incredibly toxic myth! It really keeps women trapped in “I just have to keep working harder.”TracyWhich I think totally relates to this, the response to the divorce memoirs we're getting from people and the discomfort of when women raise these issues in hetero relationships that are not individual. Like, yes, we all feel that our relationship issues are special and unique. But they all relate to these broader systemic factors.I think that is really, really, really uncomfortable to acknowledge. Because I think even if you're reasonably happy in your hetero relationship, I think if you start to look at the way that your even more minor dissatisfactions connect to these bigger dissatisfactions that women are writing about that's all part of this experience of love in patriarchy that it doesn't feel good. That feels terrible. So I totally understand that.In the same way that we're sold this idea of trying to find the one and that whole romantic fantasy, I think we're also sold this idea of trying to achieve romantically within these patriarchal constraints. So it's like, well, I found the good one. I found the unicorn man who checks all the boxes and I did my work and so I'm in a happy marriage.Virginia“I'm allowed to be heterosexual because I'm doing it right.” That's feeling uncomfortably familiar, to be honest. You think you're going to pull the thread, and you realize you'll rip it all out.TracyThe thing is that a lot of people should be pulling the thread, and a lot of lives should be unraveling, you know? I think that's the uncomfortable truth, right? I totally get the resistance to it. But on the other side of it, I think there are obviously, clearly, a lot of women who are wanting to look at it, and who do want to have these conversations.VirginiaIt sounds like this is what you're trying to chart. There has to be a middle path where it's not this defensive stance of, oh, I found the one good one. And we're equal partners. It's okay, but a relationship where we can both look at this, we can both acknowledge the larger systemic issues and how they're showing up here, and we can work through it and it's not perfect, because it is love in patriarchy, but it can still be valuable. There has to be this third option, right? Please tell me you're living the third option, Tracy.TracyI mean, I do believe that I am but I also hesitate to put any man or any relationship on a pedestal. What I'll say is that to me, it feels so utterly essential in my relationship to acknowledge the ways that our relationship is touched by patriarchy, because all relationships are touched by patriarchy, right? And to not fantasize about us somehow standing outside of it, but also to be having constant ongoing conversations within my relationship where we are mutually critiquing patriarchy and the way that it touches us and the way that it touches the relationships of people we know, you know? I think that's part of why I think I'm able to do this podcast critiquing heterosexuality from within heterosexuality is because my partner showed up to the relationship with his own prior political convictions and feminist awareness. I wasn't having to be like, here's what feminism is and, here's what invisible labor is, and the mental load and all that stuff. He got it, and so we're able to have a mutual shared critique, and that feels very important.VirginiaThat's awesome to know exists, and that you're able to figure that out without it being such hard work. But where does that leave women who are like, oh yeah, my partner doesn't have that shared knowledge? Like, I would be starting the education process from zero and encountering many resistances to it. And therein is the discomfort, I think.TracyI mean, and that is the discomfort of heterosexuality. It's in this culture, because that is the reality is there are not a ton of men who have voluntarily taken women's studies courses in college and have the basic background for this kind of stuff. It's a really high bar and there is this feeling of what are you going to do? Are you going to hold out for the guy who did do that? Or are you going to try to work with him to get there? And I think that's fine, but I think what's essential is are you both working to get there, or are you pulling him along?VirginiaYeah, that's the core of it.I think just in general, reorienting our lives to where our romantic relationships are really important, but so are our friendships. So is our community. I think that's something that a lot of us, especially us in the post-divorce club are looking at. I think one of the great failings of heterosexual marriage is how it silos women into these little pods of the nuclear family and keeps us from the larger community.TracyTotally. I really do believe that the way that our lives are structured, this hetero monogamous, nuclear familydom, it works against these hetero unions so much. Which is so funny, because so much of this is constructed to try to protect them. But I actually think that it undermines them so deeply and drastically. And that we could have much richer and more vibrant, supportive, communal lives that made these romantic unions like less fragile and fraught.VirginiaBecause you aren't needing one person to meet every single one of your needs, you aren't needing this one thing to be your whole life.TracyWe put all of the pressure on the nuclear household for the cooking, the cleaning, the childcare, all of that. That is an impossible setup. It is a setup for failure. There's I wish I could quote the writer, but I love this quote about marriage and the nuclear family being capitalism's pressure cooker. If you think about it in those terms, it's like, this is absurd. Of course, so many people are struggling.VirginiaIt was never going to work. It was never going to work for women anyway, for sure.Well, I'm so excited for folks to discover the new podcast. It's amazing, and I'm just thrilled you guys are diving into all of this. It's such an important space to be having these conversations. So thank you.TracyThank you! I'm very excited about it, and it does, unfortunately, feel very timely.ButterTracyI definitely do have Butter. And this is so on topic to what we've been discussing. This book of essays titled Love in Exile by Shon Faye. It is a brilliant collection of essays about love, where she really looks at the problem of love and the search for love as a collective instead of individual problem. It is so good. It's one of my favorite books that I've read in the last five years.She basically argues that the heteronormative couple privatizes the love and care and intimacy that we all deserve. But that we're deprived of in this late capitalist hellscape, and so she sees the love that so many of us are deprived of as not a personal failure, but a failure of capitalism and community and the growing cruelty of our world. It's just such a tremendous shift of perspective, I think, when it comes to thinking about love and the search for love and that longing and lack of it that so many people experience.VirginiaOh my gosh, that sounds amazing. I can't wait to read it. Adding to cart right now, that is a great Butter. Thank you.Well, my Butter is, I don't know if you can see what I'm wearing, Tracy, but it is the friendship bracelet you sent me when you sent me your copy of Want Me.TracyDo you know that I literally just last night was like, oh, I'm going on the podcast tomorrow, I wonder if she still has that friendship bracelet.VirginiaI'm wearing the one you sent me, which says Utopia IRL, which I love. And then I'm wearing one that says “Fuck the Patriarchy,” which was made by one of my 11 year old's best friends for me. So the 10 year old girls are going to be all right, because they're doing that.TracyThat's amazing.VirginiaI wear them frequently. They go with many outfits, so they're just a real go-to accessory of mine. My seven year old the other day was reading them and was so delighted. And now, when she's at her dad's and we text, she'll randomly text me, “fuck the patriarchy,” just as a little I love you text. And I'm like, alright, I'm doing okay here.TracyYou're like, that's my love language. Thank you.VirginiaSo anyway, really, my Butter is just for friendship bracelets and also mailing them to people, because that was so sweet that you did that.TracyCan I mention though? Can I admit that I literally told you that I was going to send you that friendship bracelet, and I made it, I put in an envelope, and it literally sat by my front door for a full year.VirginiaI think that makes me love it even more, because it was a year. If you had been able to get it out the door in a timely fashion, it would have made you less relatable to me.That it took a full year that feels right. And I was just as delighted to receive it a year later.TracyIt was a surprise. I was like, you probably forgot that.VirginiaI had.TracyI emailed about it and that we had an inside joke about it, because it had been a year.VirginiaI did, but then I was like, oh yeah!TracyYou know what? I think it's a testament to you and how you come off that I like felt comfortable sending it a year later and just being like, fuck it, she'll be fine with it.VirginiaYes, it was great. Anyway, my recommendation is send someone a friendship bracelet by which I mean put it in an envelope by your front door for the next year. Why not? It's a great thing to do.So yes, Tracy, this was so much fun. Thank you for being here. Tell folks where we can follow you support your work, all the things.TracyYou can find the Dire Straights podcast at direstraightspod.com. And you can find my weekly newsletter about sex, feminism, pop culture at Tracyclarkflory.substack.com and you can find me on Instagram at Tracy Clark-Flory.VirginiaAmazing. We'll link to all of that. Thank you for being here.TracyThanks so much for having me.The Burnt Toast Podcast is produced and hosted by Virginia Sole-Smith (follow me on Instagram) and Corinne Fay, who runs @SellTradePlus, and Big Undies.The Burnt Toast logo is by Deanna Lowe.Our theme music is by Farideh.Tommy Harron is our audio engineer.Thanks for listening and for supporting anti-diet, body liberation journalism! This is a public episode. If you'd like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit virginiasolesmith.substack.com/subscribe

#187: Josie is joined by The Everygirl's Senior Fashion Editor, Madeline Galassi, to break down everything you need to know about what to wear for summer 2025. From the trends that are everywhere (and the ones we're officially done pretending to like), to Real Housewives as trending styles, they're covering how to actually dress like the main character this season. Maddie gives a behind-the-scenes POV on how trends go from runway to real life, the “It-Girl” staples to pack for your next vacation, and the simple swaps that instantly elevate any outfit. Plus, they wrap up with a juicy round of FMK: fashion edition (yes, Zendaya is involved). This episode is equal parts group chat, fashion therapy, and your new summer shopping list.Shop the articles mentioned:https://theeverygirl.com/summer-capsule-wardrobe/https://theeverygirl.com/trendy-sandals/https://theeverygirl.com/fisherman-aesthetic-fashion-trend/https://theeverygirl.com/jelly-shoes-trend/https://theeverygirl.com/sardine-trend/For Detailed Show Notes visit theeverygirlpodcast.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this week's episode, Kayla and Taylor discuss Gillian Flynn's 2012 novel Gone Girl. Topics include true crime, the punchability of Ben Affleck, Nick's family dynamics and his stunted development, the “Cool Girl”, how the patriarchy negatively affects women and men, Amy's narcissism (and generally sociopathy), the Andie factor, the deeper commentary Gillian Flynn is making, and that frustrating but brilliant ending. Plus, we talk Target and Beyonce. This week's drink: Perfect Pear via liquor.comINGREDIENTS:1½ oz Bluecoat American Dry gin½ oz St-Germain¾ oz  lemon juice, freshly squeezed¾ oz simple syrup1 barspoon fresh pear pureeChampagneGarnish: 1 pear sliceINSTRUCTIONS:Add the gin, St-Germain, lemon juice, simple syrup and fresh pear puree to an ice-filled shaker and shake until chilled.Double-strain into a coupe glass.Top with a splash of Champagne and garnish with a fresh slice of pear.Current/recommended reads, links, etc.:When Women Ran Fifth Avenue: Glamour and Power at the Dawn of American Fashion by Julie SatowFollow us on Instagram @literatureandlibationspod.Visit our website: literatureandlibationspod.com to submit feedback, questions, or your own takes on what we are reading. You can also see what we are reading for future episodes! You can email us at literatureandlibationspod@gmail.com.Please leave us a review and/or rating! It really helps others find our podcast…and it makes us happy!Purchase books via bookshop.org or check them out from your local public library. Join us next time as we read Agnes Grey by Anne Brontë

Hi babes! This week we're talking about the cool girl dynamics in a lesbian relationship! Follow us!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Faithlynn Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Shay Instagram ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠For The Femmes Instagram⁠The following episode is based on personal experiences, opinions, and perspectives. While certain situations may reflect real events, no names have been mentioned, and any identifying details have been altered or omitted to protect privacy. This content is not intended to harm, defame, or target any individual. All statements made reflect the speaker's personal views and are not presented as absolute fact. Listener discretion is advised.

In this episode of World's Your Oysta, celebrity hair colorist Jenna Perry shares how she built one of the most in-demand salons in New York City and became the creative force behind iconic looks for Bella Hadid, Kendall Jenner, Kaia Gerber, Chloë Sevigny, Emily Ratajkowski, and more.We talk hot girl hair, going viral on Instagram, why hair is so emotional, and what it takes to build a brand that feels both cool and deeply personal.PLUS — Jenna just launched her new concept salon "Jenna's" in the East Village, a curated beauty hangout for friends to relax, treat their hair, and feel amazing.Join the World's Your Oysta community!Instagram: @wyo.podTikTok: @wyo.podYoutube: World's Your Oysta PodcastWebsite & Newsletter: WYO PodcastProduced by Peoples Media Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In the 80s & 90s - they didn’t come any cooler than Ione Skye. You remember her from Say Anything, the iconic 80s teen movie, or from River’s Edge or Gas Food Lodging or The Rachel Papers…But while Ione was busy making some of the most era-defining films, she was also living the most aspirational 90’s life imaginable - Teenage friends with River Phoenix, teenage girlfriend to The Red Hot Chilli Peppers Anthony Keidis. Young wife of Beastie Boy Adam 'Ad Rock' Horowitz. Welcomed into Madonna’s circle, until she started dating all her female exes. Now, she’s been married to Australian musician Ben Lee for well over a decade, and lives in Sydney. But Ione isn’t defined by the men she’s married or the women she’s loved - she’s the main character of her own wild, beautiful, fearless story - and she’s written it all down in her book, Say Everything - which is a glorious, pent-up outpouring of story and gossip and validation of girlhood and womanhood and romance and sexuality and what was like to come of age in - literally - a different time. You can find Ione’s book here: https://www.harpercollins.com.au/9780008661120/say-everything-a-memoir/ And follow her on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/ioneskyelee/ CREDITS: Host: Holly Wainwright Guest: Ione Skye Executive Producer: Naima Brown Senior Producer: Grace Rouvray Producer: Tahli Blackman Audio Producer: Jacob Round Mamamia acknowledges the Traditional Owners of the Land we have recorded this podcast on, the Gadigal people of the Eora Nation. We pay our respects to their Elders past and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures.See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Glo returns to discuss a very special Mother's Day episode of BSG. Laura's Cylon paranoia continues. Xhafer doesn't trust anyone who hasn't cried in a walk-in freezer. Today's episode covers Battlestar Galactica Season 2, Episode 5: The Farm.A new season of Cool Girls Don't Look at Explosions is coming soon to your podcatcher of choice!Join us for more discussion on the Discord @ https://discord.gg/MUHKDDk6TN

On this episode, we cover episodes 11-15 of Midnight Sun. Edward asks Bella a lot of questions, and she answers like the Cool Girl she is. Please contain your cringe as we try acting out a scene from the book, and forgive Caitlin for not understanding Charlie's game. Don't forget to check our instagram to see Charlie's illustration of large-breasted Siobhan. Join us next time as we cover chapters 16-20.

Tisdagsklubben är tillbaka efter en veckas ledighet, och mer taggade än någonsin. I veckans avsnitt pratas det coolhet, när är man cool? Och vem bestämmer det? Vidare diskuteras drömmar i dubbel beräkning och givetvis hissas och dissas Ellegalan.

Why do we stay in the wrong relationships? Is it fear, habit, or the belief that love is supposed to be difficult? In this episode of A Really Good Cry, I sit down with relationship coach Jillian Turecki for an honest, insightful conversation about why we get stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns—and how to break free from them. We talk about recognizing red flags early, the psychology behind staying too long, and what it truly takes to create a relationship that’s built to last. Jillian also shares practical advice on healing after heartbreak, letting go with grace, and attracting the kind of love that feels aligned and sustainable. Whether you’re moving through a breakup, reflecting on past patterns, or simply trying to understand love more deeply, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and perspective. What We Discuss: 00:00 Intro 01:48 You're the Common Denominator in Every Relationship 03:38 How to Recognize Your Unconscious Dating Patterns 08:52 The Biggest Relationship Mistake People Make 11:15 How to Find Meaning After a Breakup or Divorce 17:51 “Don’t Deny Yourself the Privilege of Moving On” 21:15 Are You Fighting Your Partner—or Your Past? 24:13 Stop Blocking Love 26:13 Love vs Lust 30:56 Why Love Feels Different in Your 20s vs. 30s 32:00 Relationship Deal Breakers 36:45 Can You Really Be Friends with an Ex? 40:09 Is Love Alone Enough to Make a Relationship Work? 45:16 The First Step to Rebuilding Your Relationship with Yourself 47:07 The Secret to Keeping Chemistry Alive in Your Relationship 49:11 You’re Punishing Your Partner Without Realizing It 51:25 Cool Girl vs Good Girl 56:26 Marriage Is Just the Beginning of Self-Work 58:38 Answering audience questions Follow Jillian: https://www.jillianturecki.com/ https://www.facebook.com/jillianturecki http://instagram.com/jillianturecki https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/jillian-on-love/id1640172049 https://www.tiktok.com/@jillian.turecki?lang=en https://www.threads.net/@jillianturecki Follow Radhi: https://www.instagram.com/radhidevlukia/ https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCxWe9A4kMf9V_AHOXkGhCzQ https://www.facebook.com/radhidevlukia1/ https://www.tiktok.com/@radhidevlukia See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The lads are a little bit worse for wear as they had a big weekend in Killarney with their live show on the Friday and a friend's hen on the Saturday which involved a lot of hijinks but was a lot of fun and made them come to the realisation that Killarney is actually a skit. The theme for the week is perception and Kevin talks about the pressure he's been experiencing since being referred to as 'cool' and although it's never something he saw for himself it actually makes a lot of sense but it's just taking a small bit of adjusting to. Sign up to the I'm Grand Mam Patreon for more stunning content: https://www.patreon.com/imgrandmam ✨ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Heilige-Hure, Cool-girl, Pretty privilige, Himpathy, Verführung als Macht – Ich habe die patriarchalen Tropes unter die Lupe genommen.

#168: You know all that time you spend streaming a show or scrolling through TikTok? Some of that time could be spent doing something much more enjoyable–and that could dramatically change your life. Josie shares 9 hobbies that you'll be excited to try AND will make a major difference in your physical health, happiness, finances, and more (think of them like glow-up hobbies). With research-backed advice and tips you've never thought of, this episode will transform how you think about your free time.This episode is also brought to you by OmniActive.Find more information at www.Lutemax.com/LFEA, and find a high-quality lutein and zeaxanthin supplement at www.Lutemax.com/where-to-buyFor detailed show notes, visit theeverygirlpodcast.com. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hosted by Michelle – your empathetic, impartial name bestie – this podcast is your go-to place for inspiration, heartfelt stories, and expert guidance on your naming journey.Whether you're looking for a timeless classic, a whimsical nature name, something strong and modern, or a quirky, unexpected gem, Michelle is here to help you find the name that feels just right.TODAY we are chatting GRANNY COOL - charming vintage revivals and everything in between, we're all about celebrating names that spark joy, pull at your heartstrings and create beautiful connections.In this episode, Michelle Casey, a name consultant from Australia, explores the enchanting world of vintage names, focusing on their meanings, charm, and the resurgence of these names in modern times. She categorises the names into various themes, including nature-inspired, strong and quirky, sweet and gentle, edgy and unexpected, and classic and timeless names, providing delightful combinations and personal anecdotes along the way. The conversation concludes with heartfelt advice on choosing the perfect name for your little one.✨ Subscribe, follow along and join the conversation! Your little wildflower's forever name is just around the corner!Follow Michelle over at @growlittlewildflower

Join us on the Glow Up, Gyrl podcast this week to wrap up Women's History Month by celebrating the inspiring work of the women at Cool Girls.  This week, we sit down with Ebony Brown, Director of Volunteer Service and Outreach at Cool Girls, to explore how this organization empowers girls in Atlanta's underserved communities. Discover how Cool Girls equips young women to overcome barriers of racism, sexism, and economic inequality through transformative, tuition-free life skills programs that foster confidence and broaden horizons. Connect with Cool Girls: Website: https://thecoolgirls.org/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/coolgirlsinc Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This is Love Hurts. Jenna Dioguardi is a performer and video editor living in Brooklyn. In her mid-20s Jenna found herself in a long distance relationship that wasn't giving her everything she wanted. When she moved across the country to be with him, a breast cancer diagnosis threw another curveball into their relationship and Jenna had to find a way to navigate all of it.  Today marks 6 years of Love Hurts. Thank you all for being on the journey. Our theme song is EmoTown by Mikki Hommel. Follow Love Hurts on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter, and rate and review it on Apple Podcasts! Find out more at http://lovehurtspodcast.com

Beth from Cool Girls Don't Look at Explosions podcast joins to discuss this very extra season finale. Beth notices the fabric choices. Laura wonders why Cylon ships are so meaty. Xhafer is ready for a Mountain Goats BSG album. It's an episode so extra it has two Christ poses! It's Battlestar Galactica Season 1, Episode 13: Kobol's Last Gleaming Part 2.Who Are You? will return with BSG season 2 on April 16th! Join the discord @ https://discord.gg/MUHKDDk6TN

Who What Wear's Spring Issue just went live, and it includes an all-you-can-click shopping guide cowritten by Associate Director of Special Projects Kristen Nichols. This week, she sits down with Shopping Director Bobby Schuessler to debrief on what's on their wish lists right now—from this year's spring power colors to relaxed suiting and the ever-reliable slip skirt. Plus, they divulge their recommendations for the brands with the buzziest spring collections, the pieces they're coveting most, and how they'd style a pillbox hat.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Who What Wear's Spring Issue just went live, and it includes an all-you-can-click shopping guide cowritten by Associate Director of Special Projects Kristen Nichols. This week, she sits down with Shopping Director Bobby Schuessler to debrief on what's on their wish lists right now—from this year's spring power colors to relaxed suiting and the ever-reliable slip skirt. Plus, they divulge their recommendations for the brands with the buzziest spring collections, the pieces they're coveting most, and how they'd style a pillbox hat.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Glo from Cool Girls Don't Look at Explosions joins Laura and Xhafer to discuss the quiet badassery of the schoolteacher. Laura questions the purpose of having a podcast if you don't use it to swear. Xhafer just wants to know about the food situation. Today's episode covers Battlestar Galactica Season 1, Episode 8: Flesh and Bone.Join The Discord @ https://discord.gg/MUHKDDk6TNFind Cool Girls Don't Look at Explosions on your favorite podcatcher.

Ist Romantik eine patriarchale Fiktion und was bedeutet feministische Liebe?

Hellolololololo my beautiful butterfly

Bien plus qu'une starlette en perte de vitesse dont les déboires ont alimenté tous les tabloïds, Lindsay Lohan est une véritable icône générationnelle. Et ses multiples addictions ont éclipsé un fait essentiel : cette femme regorge d'un talent exceptionnel.Connaissez-vous l'histoire de Lindsay Lohan ?Juliette Livartowski raconte.Connaissez-vous l'histoire est un podcast de Binge Audio raconté par Juliette Livartowski. Autrice : Juliette Livartowski. Réalisation : Paul Bertiaux. Production : Charlotte Baix et Juliette Livartowski. Edition : Marie Foulon. Générique : François Clos et Thibault Lefranc. Identité sonore Binge Audio : Jean-Benoît Dunckel (musique) et Bonnie El Bokeili (voix). Identité graphique : Sébastien Brothier (Upian). Direction des programmes : Joël Ronez.

If you're a Nice Guy, or someone who works in a service profession like coaching, teaching, or parenting — then this episode is for you. In this edition of the UNcivilized Podcast, I have a man from my Kill The Nice Guy community who shares his pattern of struggling with discipline when it come to doing the things that will benefit HIM. If it's to help one of his students or kids, he has no problem getting up early and putting in the effort. He also struggles taking up space, speaking his needs, and allowing himself to receive compliments and the good things from life. Sound familiar?! (All you Nice Guys & Cool Girls just nodded, I know…I did too.) As a teacher and a father, my guest is constantly helping others… We talk about why these pattern exists, where they comes from, and how he can make small shifts in his behavior to start giving himself the same level of care and presence he gives to everyone else. This is a powerful episode and I'm grateful of the openness of my guest. Enjoy. Please do share this with one person in your life, or twenty.  Cheers, Traver

This week, we're joined by multihyphenate artist Stephanie Graham to delve into Pick Me culture. Remoy has no idea what that means, so Samantha walks him through what Pick Me culture is, the nuances in the ways women interact with each other when talking about relationships with men, and what that means for MASKulinity.Have you ever done anything out of character to be picked or chosen? This question is at the crux of this episode, and Remoy shares his own personal experience, which mostly includes success without shame.Along the way, Samantha breaks down what a simp is, which according to Urban Dictionary, is the male version of being a Pick Me. The crew walks through how each term started out as a way to call folks out for bending their self-respect for desired love interests who don't care for them but evolved into insults toward people doing anything nice or pleasing to the object of their affection.Samantha traces back the origins of “woman who's not like other women” to the “cool girl,” a compliment given to women who never required too much from their man and just went with the flow, drank beer, watched sports, while being hot and keeping a size 2.Remoy gives all the reasons why his partner is a cool girl, and they're just because she's a cool person who does cool stuff. But the “cool girl” is a trope of a woman suppressing parts of herself so that she can appeal to a man by not taking up too much space. Remoy gives a great example from popular culture.Samantha shared her own “cool girl” attempt as a 12-year-old girl trying to impress a boy.Stephanie vulnerably shares seeking sneaker-swag validation from men, albeit platonically.Is Samantha's story an example of Pick Me behavior - What do you think?At the crux of the Pick Me is her superiority to other women for her ability to be appealing to men, whereas the cool girl suppresses her needs and aligns her interests with her man for appeal. They overlap.Samantha provides examples and Remoy picks up on the suggested requirement to be demure to be a real woman, and Stephanie picks up on the chastisement of women who aren't putting domesticity at the top of their priority list.They get into Stephanie's work exploring gender through art. Stephanie shares her experience photographing men for her Love You Bro series, celebrating friendships between Black men. The responses to her project had her questioning whether she was a Pick Me.Remoy makes an important point about how patriarchy drives up these insecurities and conflicts among women.Samantha points out the rewards that women get when participating in Pick Me/Cool Girl culture.Men enjoy being appealed to, and men's interests being viewed as superior to women's automatically legitimizes Cool Girls.It gets complicated. Folks calling out Pick Me behavior may just be performing a different type of sexism. Calling out women for their behavior and what they prefer is sometimes also folded into the Pick Me trope, when it's really sexism.Samantha calls out that the onus of dismantling patriarchy falls on men. Remoy and Stephanie cosign.Remoy makes an important statement about how men can step in and stand for what's right.Stephanie shares small ways that men can intervene using their values rather than telling women what to do.In our Five Questions segment, Stephanie shares what Pick Me culture can look like in her art and in real life.Stephanie illustrates the ways that Pick Me culture is rewarded in our culture.Girls get the prize: the guy.Women compete and win the prize, but it can backfire when they want to put their own needs first later in the relationship.They get into the trad wife trend. Is this another example of Pick Me culture. Sort of. The trad wife trend has been blazing online but it's a performance of gender. Women peddling the trad wife are businesswomen selling a lifestyle that they're not actually living for profit.Stephanie lets us in on her project #NEWGLOBALMATRIARCHY. The performance and installation project explores friendships between women through the lens of goddesses. Why is there a supposed hierarchy between women in their friendships? There isn't and this project explores that. It contradicts the trope of Pick Me culture pitting women against each other for an ultimate prize.Stephanie's photography project Love You Bro explores male friendships. The closeness between men is seldom expressed, instead painting a picture of men as inherently violent.She gets into the discomfort folks have seeing men being affectionate with one another.Samantha wonders what the reception was from both the participants and the audience.Stephanie shares the concerns men had doing the project, and the eventual glee and satisfaction of the participants.The hot seat is flipped this week! Remoy answers Stephanie's question to the host. What was the turning point for Remoy that got him to question patriarchy?Remoy shares his upbringing seeing women's leadership. He witnessed abuse growing up, which led to insensitivity toward women on his part.Remoy's turning point shows that it's possible for men to transform and be more thoughtful about patriarchy and its harms.Referenced on this episode:Gone Girl: book monologue and movie monologueExamples of Pick Me cultureLove You Bro#NEWGLOBALMATRIARCHYCOMPANION PIECES:The Marriage Episode

  Interior Designer's Business Blueprint   In today's episode, I got to sit down with Marisa Wilson, the creator of The Cool Girl's Guide to High Point, a fun and insightful resource designed to help designers navigate the expansive High Point Market. Her guide offers insider tips, must-visit showrooms, and advice from industry leaders, making it a go-to for anyone attending the event, covering 12 million square feet of showroom space.   In addition to The Cool Girl's Guide to High Point, Marisa runs Marisa Wilson Interior Design, her Charlotte-based residential design firm. She's known for her playful yet thoughtful design approach, aiming to make the process enjoyable for her clients. Marisa also has a reputation for blending creativity with practicality, helping people create spaces that reflect their personalities​. So how can you make the most of your High Point Market experience?   Here's a glance at this episode… We discussed the origins of the Cool Girl's Guide to High Point and how Marisa found herself helping friends, other designers and reaching out to others to build what is now an extensive guide. We talked about the top navigation tips for high point market. Marisa shared how to keep track of which showrooms had certain products throughout your time at market. We shared about the market Insider's Tours - who they are for, what they are about, and how to sign up. We both opened up about networking at High Point and how inviting and warm the environment is between designers. Mentioned in this episode:  JOIN: Interior Designer's Business Blueprint FREE DOWNLOAD: 7 Habits of Highly Profitable Interior Designers FREE Masterclass: 6 Part Framework for A Thriving Interior Design Business Dear Kate: Submit your questions for the show! Marisa's Website: https://www.marisawilsoninteriors.com/ Follow Marisa on IG: @coolgirlsguidehpmkt  

Check your red panty inventory and hide that bottle of Chardonnay because we're discussing David Fincher's exceptional adaptation of Gillian Flynn's bestseller Gone Girl in the third week of our Anniversaries and Diva Worship theme. Be a "Cool Girl" and give us a listen! Join us as we dig into the origins of the Flynn's source novel before going all in on this 2.5-hour juggernaut of a film (and yet it flies by???). From Rosamund Pike's Oscar-nominated performance to the accusations of of misogyny, there's no shortage of things to discuss in this densely plotted film. Plus: Carrie Coon (and Missi Pyle!) worship, atrocious accent attempts and thoughts on the Outback Steakhouse, treasure hunts and world class vaginas. Questions? Comments? Snark? Connect with the boys on Twitter, Instagram, Youtube, Letterboxd, Facebook, or join the Facebook Group to get in touch with other listeners > Trace: @tracedthurman > Joe: @bstolemyremote Be sure to support the boys on Patreon!   Theme Music: Alexander Nakarada   Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today on Oversharing, Jordana and Dr. Naomi discuss the perils of growing up with social media and whether Instagram's new restrictions on teen accounts can help. Our Overshare comes from a an exhausted Betch who had to share a bedroom with her husband's gassy friends on vacation. Today's Betchicist goes out to a thoughtful listener whose kind deed at work landed her in an awkward position. Dr. Naomi writes an intention for anxiety after an unexpected dog bite. And we're feeling triggered by exes who propose on group trips and mother-in-law wedding outfit drama. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

What a CreepSeason 26, Episode 9Cool girls and pick-me girlsShe's one of the guys. She says she prefers to hang out with guys because girls cause “too much drama.” “I'm not a feminist because I don't hate men.”I'm not like other girls.” If this sounds familiar to you, maybe you know someone who's a pick-me or cool girl. Let's talk about it.Sources for this episodeThe AtlanticBuzzfeedCNNDictionary.comJezebelNew York MagazineWashington PostWomen's Media Center“The Cool Girl Trope, Explained” on The Take's YouTubeMargo's picks for social media following!JeriLRyan@TeenVogue GregProops @ProopDog @JojoforJerz@MsPackYetti @ecmclaughlin @quinncummings @parkermolloy@TheReidOutBe sure to follow us on social media. But don't follow us too closely … don't be a creep about it! Subscribe to us on Apple PodcastsTwitter: https://twitter.com/CreepPod @CreepPodFacebook: Join the private group! Instagram @WhatACreepPodcastVisit our Patreon page: https://www.patreon.com/whatacreepEmail: WhatACreepPodcast@gmail.com We've got merch here! https://whatacreeppodcast.threadless.com/#Our website is www.whatacreeppodcast.com Our logo was created by Claudia Gomez-Rodriguez. Follow her on Instagram @ClaudInCloud

Today, we are joined by Candace Doby. Candace Doby is founder and CEO of The Can-Do Company. She is a leadership development strategist, author of A Cool Girl's Guide To Courage, and professional speaker who works with organizations to create a culture of courage where employees spend less time and energy censoring and hiding themselves and more time performing at their highest potential. Candace combines a decade of research on courage with her experiences traveling the world solo and a 16-year, award-winning marketing career - much of which was spent leading teams at Chipotle. This unique combination equips her with the implementable strategies she has shared with thousands of leaders to help them courageously speak up, step up and show up in the workplace. Her work has been featured on MSNBC, NPR and TEDx. In this episode of the Good Leadership Podcast, we delve into essential habits for courageous leaders, the benefits of embracing discomfort, and fostering a courage-ready culture. Candace also shares actionable strategies such as making daily decisions, remembering strengths, practicing risk-taking, and more. Join us and learn how to build your courage muscle and inspire your team to do the same. - Website and live online programs: http://ims-online.com Blog: https://blog.ims-online.com/ Podcast: https://ims-online.com/podcasts/ LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/charlesagood/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/charlesgood99 Chapters: (00:00) Introduction (00:52) Tool: Habits to Grow Your Courage Muscle (02:52) Tip: Remembering and Leveraging Your Strengths (04:17) Tip: The Value of Risk-Taking (06:19) Technique: Embracing Discomfort (10:11) Tip: Adopting an Experimenter's Mindset (12:06) Technique: Giving Critical Feedback Effectively (16:03) Tool: The Importance of Saying No (18:20) Tip: Building Deeper Connections Through Courage (20:25) Tip: Creating a Courage-Ready Culture (22:50) Key Takeaway (23:55) Conclusion

#162. A short & sweet supplement to New York Fashion Week — we are getting granular about where the cool girls shop. I'm sharing where my coolest friends are shopping, from affordable, everyday staples to dresses for special life moments. FOLLOW PAYTON:https://instagram.com/paytonsartain https://www.tiktok.com/@paytonsartain https://youtube.com/c/paytonsartainhhhttps://amazon.com/shop/paytonsartain https://pinterest.com/paytonsartain SUBMIT TO NOTE TO SELF:→ Ask P: Advice Column: https://forms.gle/avvSu4ibYygZP5rq8 → Simple Pleasures: https://forms.gle/PFmEU9BFRtyE7Dt57 → Your ICKS: https://forms.gle/pgcr9LhmyyvyAyVk7→ Most Embarrassing Stories: https://forms.gle/qpZBp9bxdcH77Utf8→ Little Acts of Love: https://forms.gle/ReEoo6HBoC4QspQs9→ Juicy Confessions: https://forms.gle/Uuz5KdUkC4c3NnFw5Episode Sponsors:This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/NOTETOSELF and get on your way to being your best self.Go to Quince.com/payton for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns.Get 10% off your first order sitewide with code NOTETOSELF at OSEAMalibu.com.LaCroix Sparkling Water is available nationwide, and you can find a list of retailers on www.LaCroixWater.comProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Send us a textFashion is a dance off classic lines like “Do I look good in this?” versus “Omg, I love her sweater”.Wardrobe stylist and emotional intelligence coach, Jennine Jacob, joins me to talk about fashion…and how its more than just trends in a magazine.Style has an impact on your mental health in more ways than you realize. When you love what you're wearing, you stand a little taller, walk with more purpose, and take a few more risks—it physically impacts the way you move through the world and, in turn, the way the world responds to you.Fashion these days feels boring, when it should be about expressing your own identity and creativity. You walk through the mall, and the displays are about as exciting as watching paint dry. That's because Fast Fashion is killing style just as quickly as it's killing the planet. We talk about style trends, cycles, flashy terms and more. It comes down to the roles you play in life and the world…it's not about WHAT you wear, but HOW you wear it!And you're more likely to wear something with confidence and positive energy when you're open to loving yourself. Jennine shares her personal journey and struggle with style and self-love, and how loving herself proved more effective than any diet program she's ever tried. There is so much packed into this episode. Wanna get unstuck in your style? Tune in. Wanna learn how Jennine harnessed ‘celebrity energy' to grow her social media following? Tune in. Wanna get deep about learning to love yourself and tap into self-love confidence? TUNE IN.Seriously. Listen to the episode, whether you're currently pinning the coastal grandma aesthetic or you want to tap into the power of self-love in creating your own style. What's Inside:Why is fashion SO boring these days?How is style and emotional intelligence connected?How can self love improve your fashion?Tapping into ‘Celebrity Energy' to reach your goals.Are you also confused…should you be a Cool Girl? A Mob Wife? A Coastal Grandma? Hopefully Jennine's tips have sunk in and you can see your style is about YOU, not some role you're cosplaying. So are you ready to ask that question: how can you love yourself even more and tap into your own creative style? Let me know on Insta!Mentioned In This Episode:Jennine Jacob (@jennine.jacob) on Instagram@jenninejacobTransform Your Body & Habits In 28 Days.  Guaranteed.Fit Feels Good (@oonaghduncan) on Instagraminfo@fitfeelsgood.com 

Wish you could be more like of a 'chill', go-with-the-flow girl or guy? This meditation will help you be 'chill' with change during a transitional period of life. When life's throwing you curveballs, try this to stay calm and collected. LINKS Follow @novapodcastsofficial on Instagram CREDITS Host: Casey Donovan @caseydonovan88 Writer: Amy Molloy @amymolloy Producer: Adair SheppardEditor: Adrian Walton  Listen to more great podcasts at novapodcasts.com.au   See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

On this episode, I sit down with Katherine Barlow the founder of Ru and Rocka. I have had the pleasure of working with Katherine and she is a business inspiration with a sell-out clothing brand she started from scratch. She talks through how she took her passion for clothing and fashion at the age of 17 and the process of starting several businesses, which later evolved into her successful company today. We talk about the challenges she's faced along the way, which lessons are the most important and Katherine's strategy for running and building her business on her own. IG: @kb.barlowTT: @kb.barlowWebsite https://ruandrocka.co.ukIG: @ruandrockaTT: @ruandrockaProduced by Dear MediaSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

We've all heard the classic line, “you're a really nice guy but…”And then he doesn't get the girl.So what's really going on with the nice guy? Why is he like this and what does the cool girl have to do with it?As a recovery cool girl myself, during this solo episode I break down what's happening under the surface for people that exhibit nice guy and cool girl behaviors.Expect to learn what was broken in the developmental process for nice guys and cool girls? What family and friends just don't understand? What these personas just want more than anything? And very importantly what is needed to break these patterns of behavior and transform into a mature man or woman?Question: Do you see yourself in any of these behaviors?____________________________________________If you found some value today then help me spread the word! Share this episode with a friend or leave a review. This helps the podcast grow.You can also watch the episodes on youtube hereFollow me on Instagram @anyashakh

Princess Diana. Lady Gaga. Tilda Swinton. No, this is not a fever dream, it's just a sampling of the illustrious career of the awe-inspiring hairstylist, Sam McKnight -  this week's Pretty Curious guest! Buckle your seat beats, sweeties, JVN sat down with the iconic and truly one-of-one creative to pick his brain about navigating such an unbelievable and influential career. This episode is giving you 90s fashion lore, hot takes on the media's portrayal of the fashion industry, and some major gardening tips & tricks. Sam McKnight, MBE is renowned for creating the hair looks that every woman wants. From his signature, ‘Cool Girl' effortlessly undone textured hair (the poster child of who is his long-term collaborator and friend, Kate Moss) to his fashionably timeless, elevated looks that reflect his rebellious spirit, to his handmade couture wigs, to red carpet sophistication. Sam's unparalleled portfolio of work reads like a who's-who of high-fashion and A-list celebrity. His ethos has attracted an unparalleled list of celebrity clients including Jodie Comer, Cate Blanchett, The Hadid Sisters, Kate Moss, Kendall Jenner, Emilia Clarke, Cara Delevingne, Priyanka Chopra-Jonas, Lady Gaga, Naomi Campbell, Tilda Swinton and, of course, Sam was Princess Diana's private hair stylist for seven years. Sam has presided over iconic fashion moments of the past four decades and continues to be responsible for culture-defining hair looks that make him one of the most in-demand artists. Sam McKnight is on Instagram @sammcknight1 & @hairbysammcknight Follow us on Instagram @CuriousWithJVN to learn more about the products from this episode, or head to JonathanVanNess.com for the transcript. Jonathan is on Instagram @JVN. Find books from Getting Curious and Pretty Curious guests at bookshop.org/shop/curiouswithjvn. Our Senior Producer is Chris McClure. Our editor & engineer is Nathanael McClure. Our theme music is also composed by Nathanael McClure. Production support from Anne Currie, and Chad Hall. Curious about bringing your brand to life on the show? Email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Princess Diana. Lady Gaga. Tilda Swinton. No, this is not a fever dream, it's just a sampling of the illustrious career of the awe-inspiring hairstylist, Sam McKnight -  this week's Pretty Curious guest! Buckle your seat beats, sweeties, JVN sat down with the iconic and truly one-of-one creative to pick his brain about navigating such an unbelievable and influential career. This episode is giving you 90s fashion lore, hot takes on the media's portrayal of the fashion industry, and some major gardening tips & tricks. Sam McKnight, MBE is renowned for creating the hair looks that every woman wants. From his signature, ‘Cool Girl' effortlessly undone textured hair (the poster child of who is his long-term collaborator and friend, Kate Moss) to his fashionably timeless, elevated looks that reflect his rebellious spirit, to his handmade couture wigs, to red carpet sophistication. Sam's unparalleled portfolio of work reads like a who's-who of high-fashion and A-list celebrity. His ethos has attracted an unparalleled list of celebrity clients including Jodie Comer, Cate Blanchett, The Hadid Sisters, Kate Moss, Kendall Jenner, Emilia Clarke, Cara Delevingne, Priyanka Chopra-Jonas, Lady Gaga, Naomi Campbell, Tilda Swinton and, of course, Sam was Princess Diana's private hair stylist for seven years. Sam has presided over iconic fashion moments of the past four decades and continues to be responsible for culture-defining hair looks that make him one of the most in-demand artists. Sam McKnight is on Instagram @sammcknight1 & @hairbysammcknight Follow us on Instagram @CuriousWithJVN to learn more about the products from this episode, or head to JonathanVanNess.com for the transcript. Jonathan is on Instagram @JVN. Find books from Getting Curious and Pretty Curious guests at bookshop.org/shop/curiouswithjvn. Our Senior Producer is Chris McClure. Our editor & engineer is Nathanael McClure. Our theme music is also composed by Nathanael McClure. Production support from Anne Currie, and Chad Hall. Curious about bringing your brand to life on the show? Email podcastadsales@sonymusic.com. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

On your quick recap of Olympish we cover all the sport (gymnastics, soccer, basketball, track&field) and all the ish (Serena's restaurant debacle, the emotions of gymnastic results, and the French Pole vaulter). Join us to get caught up on all that is happening in Paris. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Dates don't usually end with a satisfaction survey. And yet — we rate everything in our lives, from Uber drivers to local coffee shops. We complete "exit interviews" when we leave our jobs, so why don't we do the same with dating? We're revisiting the first of our limited social experiment series 'Exit Interview' where we're chatting with the exes, past dates, and anyone else who give insight into to what may be getting in the way of our guest finding love. Join us as we sit down with Tia and hear how she's been struggling with dating – and then what her exes and past situationships have to say! We'll discuss why playing it cool ruins your dating life, the ways you can recover from CGS, and how to go after what you actually want in a relationship. Follow us @dateablepodcast, @juliekrafchick and @nonplatonic. Check out our website for more content. Also listen to our other podcast Exit Interview available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts.Listen to the full series: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/exit-interview/id1675284944 or https://open.spotify.com/show/6qDzVBidmfdURwBBT3nc5sListen to our OG Exit Interview: https://www.dateablepodcast.com/episode/s8e1-the-exit-interviewWE WROTE A BOOK! HOW TO BE DATEABLE is available for pre-order now: https://howtobedateable.com/Our Sponsors:* Armoire: Get 50% off your first month of your clothing rental membership, up to $125 off using the code DATEABLE at https://armoire.style/refer/dateable/* Check out Armoire and use my code DATEABLE for a great deal: http://www.armoire.style* Check out Blueland Cleaning Supplies: blueland.com/DATEABLE* Go to badlandsfood.com/DATEABLE to get up to 50% off your regular-priced dog food order with a 90-day money-back guarantee with Badlands Ranch Pets.* Osea Malibu: Get 10% off their skincare from the sea at https://oseamalibu.com and use the code DATEABLE* Quince: Get free shipping and 365 day returns at https://quince.com/dateable* VIIA: Get 15% off + a free pack of their award winning gummies. (21+) at https://viiahemp.com/ using the code DATEABLE* VIIA: Get 15% off + a free pack of their award winning gummies. (21+) at https://viiahemp.com/ using the code DATEABLESupport this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/dateable-podcast/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of SheWolfAlchemy , Ress and Gabi explore the 'cool girl' archetype and its impact on relationships, drawing inspiration from the movie 'Gone Girl.' They share personal experiences about striving to fit this unrealistic and often harmful mold, while stressing the significance of being true to oneself. The conversation highlights the importance of authentic communication, self-reflection, and setting boundaries in fostering genuine connections. Additionally, the hosts discuss the role of supportive female friendships and the personal growth needed to break free from societal and media pressures. The discussion concludes with practical advice on navigating personal boundaries and living authentically.

Not Today with Jenn Sterger and Eddie Pence discusses why Jenn wore the hat that she wore that she didn't knew she wore... if that makes sense.  Sometimes Jenn's ADHD signs her up for things that her Austism doesn't know about. Daily stress can build up and explode all over you like a volcano. Plus, Jenn's inner salesmen doesn't really help her in her long term relationships, because sometimes she's not the "Cool Girl" he sold her as. Should you be nest friends with your kid and if so should you tease them to toughen them up?  Also, Florida Man Friday!

THE SUMMER BONANZA BEGINS. podmothers sephy & wing enter the chat: spiralling on boyfriends, the mediocrity of the dating landscape, potential and attachment to outcomes, narratives of low effort and being the Cool Girl. ✷see more ✷ www.youtube.com/@sephyandwing ✷ www.instagram.com/sephyandwing ✷ www.tiktok.com/@sephyandwingshop ✷ www.sephyandwing.co.uk Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Lindsie closed on her house, and is now focused on the design process and replacing the awful “dirty tile!” She answers your questions about homeschooling, mother-in-law relationships, and a tech free summer! And shares thoughts on the Dancing For The Devil documentary on Netflix! Thanks for supporting our sponsors: Hiya: Go to https://hiyahealth.com/SOUTHERNTEA and get 50% off your first order. IQBar: Text "TEA" to 64000 for 20% off all IQBar products, plus FREE shipping. By Texting 64000, you agree to receive recurring automated marketing messages from IQBAR. Message and data rates may apply. No purchase required. Terms apply, available at IQBAR.com. Reply "STOP" to stop, "HELP" for help Indeed: Visit Indeed.com/SOUTHERNTEA to start hiring now with a $75 sponsored job credit to upgrade your job post. Terms and conditions apply Meater: Shop https://meater.com for Father's Day specials including the newest products Shady Ray's: Go to https://shadyrays.com and use code TEA for 40% off sunglasses. Nutrafol: Get $10 off your first month's subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com and enter code SOUTHERNTEA

This week, J&J are finding the balance in a few debates, from ideal thermostat temps to awkward callouts. The first email asks if there's a limit to how much an ex is brought up during a date. Jared and Jordana don't initially agree and weigh both sides of the conversation. Next, in a segment sponsored by Netflix, they get a “Friends-To-Lovers” story submission that's out to motivate other listeners to make a move. The second advice email is looking for the line between going for what you want and seeing what the person you're dating is willing to do. There could be truth to “If he wanted to, he would,” but doesn't that go both ways? The episode ends with a “Red Flag or Deal Breaker” about being overly communicative, being put in an awkward situation pre-date, and disagreeing about the best sex you've ever had. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Become a Paid Subscriber and get Uninterrupted Episodes: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/manifestelle/subscribe Subscribe to the free ManifesTEA Newsletter: https://manifestelle.substack.com Get the SGSG hoodie: https://shopisla.co Follow me on IG and Tiktok: manifestelle In this episode, Elle discusses the stereotypes and societal expectations placed upon women, focusing on the concepts of the candid girlfriend, cool girl, manic pixie dream girl, and brain rot core. She ponders whether women are required to perform their inner lives to validate their existence. The discussion includes a review of social media's role in these stereotypes, with the candid girlfriend being portrayed as an airheaded muse by her boyfriend. Elle criticizes the objectification and commodification of women in these roles. She also explores how the perception of an "inner life" can vary greatly, positing that there is no single acceptable framework for self-actualization. Elle emphasizes that women can cultivate rich inner lives through various activities that honor their desires and contribute to their well-being. The episode ends on the topic of the manic pixie dream girl, a stock character type often used in fiction.

We're selling hot dogs by the community pool this week on Teen Girl Talk with Snack Shack!  A nice little movie that punched us in the stomach when we were least expecting it.  Also on this week's episode Suesie points out young adult friendship dynamics.  Frank's girlfriend is going to kill him, if he had one.  Intro and outro is Rebel Girl by Bikini Kill.  We have shirts! Find them here: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/teen-girl-talk-podcast Please rate, review and subscribe to the show on iTunes E-mail: realteengirltalk@gmail.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/teengirltalk/ Twitter: @TeenGirlTalk3 Suesie's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/susieboboozy/ Frank's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/siriwouldchallenge/ Frank's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJcUttxP0ujvc6HXBz-4kIw

It's not like a regular podcast episode. It's a cool episode. Right, Regina? Andi Mitchell and Sabrina Kohlberg from Pop Culture Moms take us on a pop cultural tour of The Cool Mom, from Mean Girls to Euphoria, and her defining qualities on screen. But as we also learn from her disregard for boundaries, the Cool Mom isn't all trope and no substance. Highlights include: Munchausen by proxy, Peg Bundy, cool dads and whether The Cool Mom is just The Cool Girl with kids.Follow Unladylike: Instagram | TikTokJoin the Unladies' Room PatreonShop merchContact Multitude Productions for ad rates, etc.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoicesSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

It's not like a regular podcast episode. It's a cool episode. Right, Regina? Andi Mitchell and Sabrina Kohlberg from Pop Culture Moms take us on a pop cultural tour of The Cool Mom, from Mean Girls to Euphoria, and her defining qualities on screen. But as we also learn from her disregard for boundaries, the Cool Mom isn't all trope and no substance. Highlights include: Munchausen by proxy, Peg Bundy, cool dads and whether The Cool Mom is just The Cool Girl with kids. Follow Unladylike: Instagram | TikTok Join the Unladies' Room Patreon Shop merch Contact Multitude Productions for ad rates, etc.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Happy International Women's Day + Women's History Month Beautiful Humans, In this episode of the show I talk about how to truly embody girl power! We all wear the shirts, use the hashtags and scream it off of the rooftops but are we truly putting it into practice in our daily lives? Let's explore this together and find new ways of raising up other women. My course silencing your inner mean girl is on a BIG sale in honor of this special month. Get this $147 course for just $47!! www.melodypourmoradi.com/meangirl use code: womenrockMelody Pourmoradi is an empowerment coach, author, twin girl mom, and the creator of the GiRLiFE Certification Program: A platform that trains women to create profitable girls empowerment businesses. My greatest goal is for every young girl and woman to find her own voice and live a life that lights her up from the inside out. Thank you so much for your listenership. If you love what you're hearing on the Empowering Her podcast, please leave a five-star review at melodypourmoradi.com/podcast. When you share it on Instagram, tag me at https://www.instagram.com/girlifeempowerment/ and also send me the screenshot via email at melody@getgirlpower.com, as an expression of my gratitude I will send you my audio called "seven questions to unlock your empowerment now. I appreciate you so much! If you would like to buy a copy of my book, you can click here: www.melodypourmoradi.com/books Let's connect: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/girlifeempowerment/ Facebook Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/girlsempowermentbiz/ Website: www.getgirlpower.com

It's Cool Girl Fall but we're still living for our Pumpkin Spice Latte girlies! Welcome back to another episode of Chins & Giggles. On this week's episode we break down the different Fall style aesthetics and which trends we really prefer. Plus, we can't forget about cuffin season! So let's talk Holiday dating & breakups. This Episode is Sponsored by: McDonalds Ulta Beauty Dave Insurance Sleep Number Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices