What Should I Do?

Listen in as Josephine and Alexandra share what they learned from podcasting as a mother-daughter duo. They have a lot of fun reviewing their experience recording Season 1 and offer a sneak peek into what you can expect in Season 2!

In this cross-posted episode, we talk with our guest Rabbi Shlomo Elkan who is the host of the “Soul Searchers” podcast. In this deep conversation, we take turns asking the questions and sharing our answers. His audience asks Josephine and Alexandra about their family life and spiritual beliefs and we ask him what it’s like to be a pious rabbi serving a community of very liberal college students.

Healing from abuse is something that is deeply personal and connected. Listen in as Alexandra and Josephine chat with Shawnrey Notto who experienced healing through dance. To Shawnrey, dance is a form of expression, can be immensely therapeutic, and a beautiful way to connect with your body and heal. Shawnrey Invites others on their own healing journey using dance and sensual awareness. This conversation warms the heart, opens the mind, and explores things in ways you’ve never heard before. Resources referred to: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/yourquirkyqueen/ 6 week program: https://shawnrey.com/your-body-the-queen?fbclid=IwAR2HoMDrwwZXQv_cpp0NFnY5SZiUvwE5795xcmFX4NenJ71jBXCC5Mx7nMw FB: https://www.facebook.com/ShawnreyIQ/

Josephine’s friend Caleb has felt the tension between pursuing his goals versus honoring how he feels in the moment. He asked us whether it’s better to keep pushing ahead in a disciplined manner in order to achieve more and more, or if it’s better to aim for balance, taking breaks and slowing down when that feels more appealing. Listen in as we explore this question with him.

It’s never too late to turn your life around! Gen Stoney is a testament to this. Listen in as Gen shares her incredible journey, going from alcoholism, rapes (yes, multiple), marital infidelity leading to divorce, and deep self-hatred to joy, integrity, meaning love, and so much confidence in who she is and how she lives.  Resources referred to https://genstoney.com/ The Alter Ego Effect The State of Affairs Spirit Junkie Love is Letting Go A Return to Love The 1 Thing

Have you been betrayed? Have you healed from it, or do you remain hesitant to trust others, in the context of relationships, work, or family? Listen in as Josephine and Alexandra speak with Dr. Debi Silber, the founder of the Post-Betrayal Institute who herself has experienced tremendous heartbreak in her life and now helps thousands of others heal from theirs. Resources referred to: https://thepbtinstitute.com/trustagain/ https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz/

Can you be friends with your children? Can mothers and daughters truly be best friends? Can a friendly power-child relationship exist between strong and independent women? Yes, this is totally possible! Listen in as Alexandra and Josephine speak with Brenda and Hailey. They are also a mother-daughter pair with an amazing and beautiful relationship. The four women converse with one another, learning about their own and one another’s experiences. Both pairs speak frankly about how they built mutual respect and collaborative joy in their respective relationships. It’s a conversation like no other!! Resources referred to: https://www.brendafredericks.com/ https://www.haileymarino.com/

Can you connect, or build relationships, when your political or religious views differ? Josephine went on a zoom date with a man with opposing political views and very different religious priorities. They knew it wasn’t likely to lead to a relationship but they had a fantastic time and both learned a great deal about stereotypes and human connection. Listen in as both Josephine and her date(!) share their experiences, revelations and growth that came from this one simple date.

How do you build relationships when you have a hard time communicating about anything mundane? Josephine and Alexandra talk with a tech whiz, a super successful genius with a brilliant mind who can’t seem to crack the code on dating in order to get to a meaningful relationship.

Parenting during the COVID-19 pandemic has been stressful. Becoming a new parent during these times is especially challenging. Listen in as Alexandra and Josephine chat with her friend Alexis who became a father at the peak of the pandemic. He describes how moving to the US from Honduras at 18, without speaking English, prepared him to be resilient and flexible with all the changes made when his son was born during the first peak of the coronavirus pandemic.

Have you ever struggled with feeling like you didn’t fit in?  Antesa Jensen always knew she wanted to leave home. She describes moving to France, NYC, then Denmark, and the ways she contorted herself to fit in so she felt like a part of each new community. Listen in as Alexandra and Josephine speak with her about some of the ways she presented herself in order to be accepted, and how she guides clients into self-acceptance, from the inside out.   Resources referred to: www.antesajensen.com

Does exposure to pornography change your sexual expectations? Alexandra and Josephine’s guest shares that he discovered pornography at an early age. With a Catholic school education and parents who never spoke about sex, porn was his only reference point. He describes how this impacted his experiences with girls, and how he learned to cocreate satisfying, pleasurable sexual experiences with his current partner.

What does infidelity mean for the strength and longevity of a relationship? Alexandra and Josephine answer your questions about cheating in your relationship. Does one time mean the end? If you truly love someone does that mean you would never cheat? Who is to blame--the one who cheated or the person they cheated with? How do you start a conversation about these things without hurting your partner? Listen in as they address these matters in great detail. Uncompromising Intimacy Kristy Arnett’s Podcast Kristy Arnett’s YouTube Video

How do you cope with a parent that is not present the way you need him/her to be? Listen in as Alexandra and Josephine talk to Caleb’s. Caleb’s mother has had a serious, terminal illness since he was 13, as well as a complicated personality. Josephine and Alexandra talk with him about navigating those challenges and setting boundaries in order to live a good life.

Going through divorce often leads to a whole new identity or sense of self. Elyna shares she was deeply devoted to the success of her marriage, yet, they divorced after 4 years. Josephine is surprised to learn that Elyna and her ex-love one another deeply, even though Elyna felt like she was dying inside while they were together. Elyna describes the process of reclaiming her maiden name, along with some of her favorite qualities, as she moves into her future with clarity and hopefulness.

What sacrifices are being made in the name of success? Meet Chris! At the young age of 21 he has been extremely successful. He has created a highly respected music festival and transformed the classical music scene in Hawaii. Listen in as Alexandra and Josephine talk to Chris around the struggles that come from being successful at such a young age. On the one hand, making dreams come true is very gratifying for him. On the other, he feels that people look at him and see the festival instead of seeing him. Chris shares how some friends want to take advantage of his success, and others don’t want to hang out with him anymore.   Resources referred to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPggUdcH0AA

What if an essential part of you was instantly gone? Listen in as Alexandra and Josephine talk to Alyssa! Growing up Alyssa practiced violin almost every day from the time she was 6 years old. During quarantine she stopped practicing for a month. It was jarring and disorienting.  Alyssa describes working through those feelings and discovering aspects of herself she really loves that have been dormant for decades. Resources referred to: Finding Focus as a Multi-Passionate Entrepreneur With Marie Forleo  

Listen in as Josephine turns the tables and interviews Alexandra about her relationship with her mother. Alexandra shares stories about her early years during the civil rights era which flows into an intergenerational conversation about the distinction between diversity and inclusion, and focusing on the personal vs the political.

Josephine’s friend Yip moved by himself from Hong Kong to the United States when he was 17.  He’s now sheltering in place with his family in Hong Kong after not being with them for many years.  Josephine and Alexandra ask him many questions as he reflects on first believing his native culture was less desirable, and how he learned to value it again.

As they say, communication is key. But how do you communicate effectively when different styles exist? Josephine’s brother Christopher joins the conversation!  Alexandra, Josephine, and Christopher talk about the differences in how Christopher communicates vs.  how Josephine communicates. He talks about being purpose driven and how that works for him, and how that makes it hard to socialize when it feels like there’s no point in the small talk. Listen to this unique perspective of mother, children and siblings conversing around communication. Alexandra provides a parenting perspective about raising children who are very different from one another.

Do you truly know who you are or are you becoming someone else's version of you? One of Josephine’s best friends, Hannah, describes being adaptable and responsive to a variety of people in many different situations. She loves that she has that ability, which she describes as “chameleonizing”, however, it means that sometimes she’s not sure exactly where the real Hannah is.  Listen as Alexandra shares her personal experience in dealing with this. Specifically that the way out of this dilemma is learning to trust your intuition.

Susie Moore is a confidence maven and the bestselling author of Stop Checking Your Likes. Listen in as Susie, Josephine, and Alexandra talk about confidence, what stops us from feeling it, and how to enjoy our lives a whole lot more!  We also talk about maintaining confidence while achieving mastery and being devoted to long-term goals. Resources referred to: Stop Checking Your Likes   

Does absence make the heart grow fonder? Alexandra and Josephine talk with 20 year old Cousin Emily about the amazing cooperative learning program at Northeastern University, and how it has resulted in her having a mostly long distance relationship with her college boyfriend. Listen in and gain perspective as  Alexandra shares secrets from prisoners who have figured out how to maintain long distance relationships with women they have only known a short time! Resources referred to:  Love in Lockdown Bond Touch Bracelets 

There is nothing more frustrating than having a connection and never hearing from that person again! Listen in to this great conversation as Josephine shares with her mom her amazing connection with a very attractive, warm, fun, intellectual man she met on Tinder who all of a sudden ghosted her. Josephine and Alexandra talk about what happened, reframe the experience, and consider what can be learned from the whole experience.  To get on the podcast, submit a question, or provide any feedback, visit www.alexandrastockwell.com/whatshouldido - and don’t forget to review this podcast and subscribe on Apple Podcasts so you don’t miss out on any of our upcoming episodes!

When you think back on your life, are there pivotal memories or ambitions that stick out in your mind? What about ambitions that were not realized? In this week's episode, Alexandra and Josephine talk to Tricia Brouk, International award-winning director and Executive Producer of Speakers Who Dare. From the age of 7 Tricia knew she wanted to be a dancer. Listen in as these three women talk about how life doesn’t always turn out the way you want it to, and that’s good! In this conversation Josephine is inspired to identify the formative moments in her own life which have made her who she is today, and will propel her forward into the future.  Resources referred to www.triciabrouk.com https://dev.triciabrouk.com/category/podcast/live-coaching/season-5/ To get on the podcast, submit a question, or provide any feedback, visit www.alexandrastockwell.com/whatshouldido - and don’t forget to review this podcast and subscribe on Apple Podcasts so you don’t miss out on any of our upcoming episodes!

We chat with one of Josephine’s good friend’s about having no agenda for his social interactions despite being super focused and very ambitious professionally.  Listen in as Alexandra and Josephine help their guest learn why he does what he does, and how protecting his heart is influencing his relationships. To get on the podcast, submit a question, or provide any feedback, visit www.alexandrastockwell.com/whatshouldido - and don’t forget to review this podcast and subscribe on Apple Podcasts so you don’t miss out on any of our upcoming episodes!

Do you wait for Mr. Right who is seemingly perfect? Or accept an incredible partner even if they don’t check all the boxes? Listen in as Josephine talks with a good friend about her experience learning, evolving and growing with her new Mr. Right, even though he isn’t who she thought she would end up with. Josephine and Alexandra listen to her story of challenge and drama in a classic love triangle. Alexandra advises her on how to navigate this sticky situation, and shares how she and Josephine’s father created bridges to find understanding and excitement in their different backgrounds.   Resources: Dear Lover: A Woman's Guide To Men, Sex, And Love's Deepest Bliss The Awakened Woman's Guide to Everlasting Love   To get on the podcast, submit a question, or provide any feedback, visit www.alexandrastockwell.com/whatshouldido - and don’t forget to review this podcast and subscribe on Apple Podcasts so you don’t miss out on any of our upcoming episodes!

If you are diagnosed with a personality or mood disorder, are you suddenly a different person? In this episode Alexandra and Josephine talk with Sam who recently learned she is bipolar. Since her diagnosis it feels that everything has changed, and nothing...Sam describes how her mother treats her differently but she feels like she’s the same person.  Tune in as Alexandra asks the questions that no one dares to and as Josephine gives excellent advice from the perspective of a dear friend. To get on the podcast, submit a question, or provide any feedback, visit www.alexandrastockwell.com/whatshouldido - and don’t forget to review this podcast and subscribe on Apple Podcasts so you don’t miss out on any of our upcoming episodes!

Moving out of your home to find your own place in the world can feel both empowering and scary. During a pandemic, finding a safe quarantine zone is imperative. In this episode, Josephine and Alexandra unpack Josephine’s decision to shelter in place in her grad school apartment instead of returning to the family home during the pandemic. As a mother-daughter duo, Alexandra and Josephine have different perspectives on the ‘right’ decision. Tune in live to hear them talk through this decision in a time of stress and worry for our loved-ones.   To get on the podcast, submit a question, or provide any feedback, visit www.alexandrastockwell.com/whatshouldido - and don’t forget to review this podcast and subscribe on Apple Podcasts so you don’t miss out on any of our upcoming episodes!

Do nice guys finish last? In this episode, we hear how challenging it can be to know what you want when your focus is on attending to your partner’s needs and desires. Alexandra weighs in on how to be an attentive partner without sacrificing your own wants and desires. To get on the podcast, submit a question, or provide any feedback, visit www.alexandrastockwell.com/whatshouldido - and don’t forget to review this podcast and subscribe on Apple Podcasts so you don’t miss out on any of our upcoming episodes! Resource Mentioned: No More Nice Guy

We have all experienced the feeling of being transformed by jealousy. Jealousy can cause strain and frustration in any relationship.  In this episode, Josephine’s ex-boyfriend describes his difficulty in bringing his typical thoughtfulness to the out of control feeling he has when he feels jealous. Listen in as Alexandra talks to Josephine’s ex-boyfriend about identifying the root cause of jealousy to better understand his emotions and communicate them in a healthy way.  To get on the podcast, submit a question, or provide any feedback, visit www.alexandrastockwell.com/whatshouldido - and don’t forget to review this podcast and subscribe on Apple Podcasts so you don’t miss out on any of our upcoming episodes! Resources mentioned: https://desires.alexandrastockwell.com/vision https://www.cnvc.org/training/resource/feelings-inventory

As many women may feel, sexual experiences can often feel one-sided and like a chore. Many have shared that their body has been more of a resource for their partner to experience pleasure while it not being pleasurable for themselves.  In this episode, Josephine’s close friend from college shares that having sex used to be “for the guy”. Now she’s engaged and learning to be in the present moment while reclaiming pleasure for herself and figuring out how to enjoy the experience. Lucky for Josephine, her mom is a renowned relationship expert who focuses on sex and intimacy in relationships. Tune in to get Alexandra’s view on how to create an intimate relationship where both people are giving - and receiving - pleasure. To get on the podcast, submit a question, or provide any feedback, visit www.alexandrastockwell.com/whatshouldido - and don’t forget to review this podcast and subscribe on Apple Podcasts so you don’t miss out on any of our upcoming episodes! Here’s a glance at what you’ll learn from Laura, Alexandra, and Josephine in this episode:  How Laura’s engagement has changed the way she and her fiancée argue. How expression outside the bedroom leads to passion in the bedroom (or wherever!). Why Laura decided to reclaim her body by not having sex. What Laura’s doing to enjoy yearning and desire. Laura’s relationship curiosities around infidelity.

Welcome to What Should I Do? My name’s Alexandra Stockwell, and I’m a relationship and intimacy expert. When my 23-year-old daughter, Josephine, calls me seeking advice, the conversation always lead to the question, “What should I do?” She and her Millennial friends need answers – but ones that are practical and easy-to-understand. In this inaugural episode mother-daughter pair, Josephine and Alexandra describe wanting to create real, relevant conversations about millennial relationships. They have been having them with one another, and now others can listen in too! Listen in on how Josephine and Alexandra trouble-shoot real matters of the heart - regardless of age or stage of life.  To get on the podcast, submit a question, or provide any feedback, visit www.alexandrastockwell.com/whatshouldido - and don’t forget to review this podcast and subscribe on Apple Podcast so you don’t miss out on any of our upcoming episodes! Here’s a glance at what you’ll learn from Alexandra and Josephine in this episode:  A little about them, their journey, and their relationship. The inspiration behind this podcast. What Millennials need to nurture healthy and fulfilling relationships. What to expect from the podcast!