Podcast appearances and mentions of debi silber

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Best podcasts about debi silber

Latest podcast episodes about debi silber

From Betrayal To Breakthrough
417: How Unhealed Betrayal Impacts Your Business Performance

From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 21, 2025 24:26


If you're in business—whether you're running your own company, leading a team, or working within an organization—this episode is for you. Dr. Debi Silber dives deep into how unhealed betrayal isn't just a personal issue—it has direct, tangible consequences on your professional performance, leadership, confidence, decision-making, and success.  In this eye-opening solo episode, Dr. Debi unpacks how betrayal silently sabotages your ability to lead, sell, build, and succeed—years or even decades after the betrayal occurred. Whether you're an entrepreneur, executive, or employee, you'll gain powerful insights on how trauma is showing up in your business (often without you realizing it) and what you can do to change that.    What You'll Learn:  Why betrayal impacts more than just your relationships—it affects your performance at work  How shattered trust leads to overthinking, indecision, micromanagement, and burnout  The hidden link between betrayal and stress-related illnesses, brain fog, insomnia, and more  Why unresolved emotional pain leads to undercharging, people-pleasing, and poor boundaries  How healing restores your confidence, clarity, energy, and ability to lead and grow  The business case for understanding the 5 Stages from Betrayal to Breakthrough    Key Topics Covered:  The ripple effect of betrayal in business settings  How betrayal affects your ability to trust yourself, your team, and leadership  The emotional and physiological toll of carrying unhealed trauma into the workplace  Signs betrayal is hurting your performance (and that of your employees)  Indecision, overthinking, and poor boundaries: where they really come from  Why burnout and reactive decision-making are often symptoms of a deeper wound  The cost of unaddressed trauma on productivity, visibility, and financial success  What happens when you heal—and how it elevates every part of your professional life    Quotes from the Episode:  “If you don't trust the person you trusted most—and then you stop trusting yourself—how do you trust a boss, a coworker, or a collaborative partner?”  “You can be showing up to a meeting, making decisions, promoting your brand… but if you're carrying unhealed betrayal, you're not showing up fully.”  “Burnout, poor boundaries, fear of visibility—these aren't business problems. They're symptoms of a personal wound that hasn't healed yet.”    Resources & Links: 

The Living Truth Podcast - Freedom From Unwanted Sexual Behavior, Hope & Healing For the Betrayed

In this episode, Kristin interviews Dr Debi Silber, founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute. Dr. Debi shares her 3 groundbreaking discoveries about the impact of betrayal and the 5 crucial stages of recovery post betrayal. If you continue to struggle despite your betrayal experiences occurring years ago, you may be stuck in stage 3, with mindsets that steal your joy and rob you of your full potential to rebuild a life of purpose and growth. There can be so much more healing for you if you're willing to lean in and move forward. Join Kristin & Dr. Debi in this life giving conversation. Learn more about Dr. Debi Silber's work here: https://thepbtinstitute.co. The Living Truth Podcast; Conversations that shed light on the deeper issues that unlock healing from porn addiction, sex addiction, and sexual betrayal.

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse
Why Betrayal Keeps Abuse Survivors Trapped in a Victim Mindset: Interview with Dr. Debi Silber

Breaking Free from Narcissistic Abuse

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 7, 2025 25:36 Transcription Available


Send us a textAre you trying to heal from a betrayal? If you have survived a narcissistic relationship then you have experienced betrayal. Often repetitive, devastating breaches of trust.This week, Dr. Debi Silber joins us to discuss how to rebuild renewed confidence after betrayal. She outlines the five stages of betrayal recovery as well the common pitfalls that keep survivors stalled from fully healing after abuse.   Looking for the Podcast Extra Interview with Dr. Silber?

Whole Heart Transformation
Post Betrayal Transformation with Dr. Debi Silber

Whole Heart Transformation

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 26, 2025 52:08


Join me today as Dr. Debi Silber and I discuss Post Betrayal Transformation.Dr. Debi Silber, Founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day (celebrated annually on September 1st), is an award winning speaker, and a 2-time #1 International bestselling author. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice) and more, she's dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most. 

Healthy Mind, Healthy Life
Healing from Betrayal with Dr. Debi Silber: Why Unhealed Trauma Impacts Your Health, Work & Relationships

Healthy Mind, Healthy Life

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 14, 2025 21:23


Betrayal—whether from a partner, a friend, a family member, or even an employer—is more than just an emotional wound. It deeply affects your physical health, career success, and ability to form meaningful relationships. In this powerful episode of Healthy Mind, Healthy Life, host Avik Chakraborty speaks with Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT Institute, a global expert on betrayal trauma and healing. Dr. Debi shares groundbreaking research on Post-Betrayal Syndrome and why time alone doesn't heal these wounds. She explains how betrayal shows up in our bodies as chronic stress, fatigue, digestive issues, and even self-sabotaging behaviors. Most importantly, she walks us through five proven stages of healing that allow us to move forward stronger than ever. If you've ever felt stuck, unable to trust, or unsure why certain patterns keep repeating in your life, this episode is for you. About Dr. Debi Silber   Dr. Debi is a #1 international bestselling author, TEDx speaker, and the founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute. Her pioneering research has changed the way we understand betrayal trauma and healing, making her a go-to expert in the field. She is also the creator of National Forgiveness Day, encouraging deep healing and emotional freedom. Key Takeaways:   ✅ Betrayal is not just emotional—it manifests in physical health issues, stress-related diseases, and burnout✅ Post-Betrayal Syndrome affects 100,000+ people, with symptoms like exhaustion, digestive issues, lack of focus, and trust issues✅ Many people stay stuck in Stage 3 of healing—how to recognize if you're one of them✅ Self-sabotage is a common response to betrayal—how to break free✅ The 5 stages of healing betrayal trauma and how to move forward powerfully Connect with Dr. Debi Silber  

Energy Medicine: Align Your Mind, Body, and Spirit!
From Betrayal to Breakthrough – Understanding the Wound and Embracing the Healing Journey | Dr. Debi Silber, PhD

Energy Medicine: Align Your Mind, Body, and Spirit!

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 25, 2025 39:47


In this episode of Energy Medicine, Dr. Mary sits down with Dr. Debi Silber, founder of the Post-Betrayal Transformation Institute, to explore the profound effects of unhealed betrayal on our health, work, and relationships.Betrayal isn't just emotional—it can manifest physically, mentally, and more, leading to chronic stress, illness, and a loss of trust. Dr. Debi shares the groundbreaking discoveries from her PhD research, revealing why betrayal is a distinct trauma requiring its own healing process.Together, they dive into the five proven stages of healing, common symptoms of Post-Betrayal Syndrome, and the critical shifts needed to move forward. If you're struggling to rebuild after a betrayal, this conversation offers powerful insights to help reclaim your personal power and thrive beyond the pain.Tune in to learn how to recognize betrayal's hidden impact and take the first steps toward true transformation.Key Takeaways: Betrayal as a Unique Trauma: Unlike other traumas, betrayal shatters trust and creates deep wounds in identity, relationships, and self-worth. Post-Betrayal Syndrome: Unhealed betrayal can result in physical, emotional, and mental symptoms, including chronic stress, anxiety, exhaustion, and an inability to trust. The Five Stages of Healing from Betrayal: First Stage – Before the trauma happens Second Stage – Shock & Trauma (D-Day): The moment betrayal is discovered, leading to emotional and physical distress. Third Stage – Survival Mode: Instincts take over, and people focus on just getting through each day, often staying stuck in anger or self-protection. Fourth Stage – Adjusting to a New Normal: A shift begins as individuals acknowledge the reality of their situation and start making changes. Fifth Stage – Rebuilding the Self: Deep healing occurs as self-worth is restored, and new, healthier patterns emerge. Why Time Alone Doesn't Heal Betrayal: Many people carry the wounds of betrayal for decades, proving that healing must be intentional and actively pursued.Contact Dr. Debi Silber:Podcast: https://thepbtinstitute.com/podcast/ Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/ Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/pbs-quiz/ Books & Other Resources: https://thepbtinstitute.com/store/ Contact Dr. Mary:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.maryesanders/Free Gift: https://www.drmarysanders.com/meditations

The Other Side Of Potential
Episode 329: Healing from Betrayal with Debi Silber

The Other Side Of Potential

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 12, 2025 29:12


Most of us have probably experienced betrayal in some form or another during the course of our lives. Unlike the trauma of the death of a loved one or a natural disaster, betrayal feels extremely personal, which is why the healing process differs. Unfortunately, many people get stuck in the early stages of dealing with betrayal which often has a detrimental impact on their mental and physical health for many years, sometimes even a lifetime. In today's episode, I am joined by Dr. Debi Silber, founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT) Institute, whose own experiences of betrayal led her to discover 3 fundamental truths about betrayal and subsequently develop a 5 stage healing process that helps people who are struggling with post-betrayal syndrome radically alter their lives for the better.Debi is a holistic psychologist, health mindset and personal development expert, and the author of 3 books that explore different elements of betrayal. Whether you have recently been through a betrayal, or have been stuck in an unhealthy pattern of betrayal-related trauma for many years, this episode will show you that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, and as long as you have the will to heal, you will get there!  What you'll learn about in this episode:Introducing today's guest, holistic psychologist, personal development expert, and author Dr. Debi Silber.Debi shares an overview of the journey that led to her deep exploration of the psychology of betrayal.The trauma of betrayal.Why betrayal is different from other kinds of trauma (such as the death of a loved one or a natural disaster).Healing from betrayal; the 5 stages.Why so many people get stuck in Stage 3. Unsettling feelings that accompany growth.The two options that you have for rebuilding after a betrayal.Physical and mental symptoms that are commonly experienced after a betrayal.Why avoiding the healing process is likely to invite more betrayal into your life. Resources offered by the Post-Betrayal Institute.Books that Debi has written on the subject of betrayal.Who the Rebuild program at the Post-Betrayal Institute is aimed at.Transcript: HereAdditional Resources:Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debisilber/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debisilber/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/InspireEmpowerTransform YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClpiRrwk1mPjMYEEcn42BdgSharon Spano:Website: sharonspano.comFacebook: facebook.com/SharonSpanoPHDInstagram: instagram.com/drsharonspano/LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/sharonspano/Book: thetimemoneybook.comContact: sharon@sharonspano.comSubstack: substack.com/@drsharonThe Other Side of Potential Podcast: sharonspano.com/podcast/

MIRROR TALK
Dr. Debi Silber: From Betrayal to Breakthrough through Healing and Transformation

MIRROR TALK

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 27, 2025 19:47


In this powerful and transformative episode of Mirror Talk: Soulful Conversations, we are joined by Dr. Debi Silber, founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute. Dr. Silber is a holistic psychologist, health, mindset, and personal development expert whose groundbreaking PhD research on betrayal has revolutionized the healing journey. Dr. Silber shares her personal story of overcoming heartbreaking betrayal, which inspired her to dedicate her life to helping others move past betrayal and other emotional blocks. She discusses the physical, emotional, and mental symptoms of betrayal, the 5 stages of healing from betrayal to breakthrough, and how her discoveries can lead you to a healthier, happier, and more confident life. If you've ever struggled with betrayal or feel stuck in your healing journey, this episode will empower and inspire you to rebuild your life and trust again. Record Date: August 4, 2021 Originally aired on November 15, 2022. The full episode available here: https://spoti.fi/4gfuYOC  Key Topics Discussed: Dr. Debi Silber's personal journey and how betrayal motivated her PhD research. The 3 groundbreaking discoveries that transform how we heal from betrayal. The physical, emotional, and mental symptoms of betrayal and post-betrayal syndrome. The 5 stages of healing from betrayal to breakthrough. Words of encouragement for anyone struggling with betrayal. Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Visit the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute: thepbtinstitute.com Get Dr. Debi Silber's book Trust Again: Trust Again Stay Connected: Follow and subscribe to Mirror Talk: Soulful Conversations for more inspiring stories and soulful discussions. Share this episode with anyone who might need encouragement and support in their healing journey. Let us stay connected: https://linktr.ee/mirrortalkpodcast  More inspiring episodes and show notes here: https://mirrortalkpodcast.com/podcast-episodes/ Your opinions, thoughts, suggestions and comments matter to us. Share them here: https://mirrortalkpodcast.com/your-opinion-matters/ Invest in us by becoming a Patreon. Support us by subscribing to one or more of the offerings that we have available at http://patreon.com/MirrorTalk 

Behind The Bite
Ep. 218 - Why Time Alone Won't Heal Betrayal: The Science of Recovery and Transformation with Dr. Debi Silber

Behind The Bite

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2025 36:10


In this insightful episode, Dr. Debi Silber, a leading expert on betrayal trauma, shares her expertise on understanding, healing, and recovering from betrayal. Dr. Silber explains the unique nature of betrayal as a trauma, its symptoms, and the five stages of healing. She also discusses how time alone doesn't heal betrayal trauma and offers actionable tips for those on the path to recovery.SHOW NOTES: Click hereFollow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/behind_the_bite  

Behind the Bite
Ep. 218 - Why Time Alone Won't Heal Betrayal: The Science of Recovery and Transformation with Dr. Debi Silber

Behind the Bite

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 23, 2025 36:10


In this insightful episode, Dr. Debi Silber, a leading expert on betrayal trauma, shares her expertise on understanding, healing, and recovering from betrayal. Dr. Silber explains the unique nature of betrayal as a trauma, its symptoms, and the five stages of healing. She also discusses how time alone doesn't heal betrayal trauma and offers actionable tips for those on the path to recovery.SHOW NOTES: Click hereFollow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/behind_the_bite  

The Flipping 50 Show
Turning Your Personal Drama and Trauma into Transformation

The Flipping 50 Show

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 17, 2024 37:45


Personal drama or personal trauma? One and the same? What is it, and how does it shape your health and happiness? Let's explore the connection between everyday irritations and deeper trauma. From bad hair days to betrayal, uncover how personal drama impacts your well-being and how to move past it to live the life you deserve. My Guest: Dr. Debi Silber, founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day (celebrated annually on September 1st). An international bestselling author and acclaimed speaker on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice). Her podcast, From Betrayal to Breakthrough, is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. She empowers others to overcome betrayal and reclaim health, happiness, and confidence. Questions We Answer in This Episode: What is betrayal? How does it show up? [00:05:00] How does betrayal impact your health, work and relationships? [00:05:50] Why do we stay stuck? [00:18:30] How can our biggest crises become our greatest gifts? [00:21:50] Who needs healing most, the betrayed or betrayer and how are these paths similar or different? [00:23:30] Connect with Debi: https://thepbtinstitute.com/ On Social: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/InspireEmpowerTransform Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debisilber/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@debisilber Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/debisilber Twitter: https://twitter.com/DebiSilber Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debisilber/ The latest TEDx: “Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome?“: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyqOR69dHiU TEDx: Stop Sabotaging Yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX30i6nC7ro The From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast: https://thepbtinstitute.com/podcast/ Other Episodes You Might Like: Healing Trauma to Lose Weight: What if it's Not Stress? https://www.flippingfifty.com/healing/ The Hidden Reason for Belly Bloat: https://www.flippingfifty.com/reason-for-belly-bloat/ Your Brain Better | A No Negative Side-Effects Method https://www.flippingfifty.com/your-better-brain/ Resources: Flipping 50 Membership: https://www.flippingfifty.com/cafe Flipping 50 STRONGER 12-week program: https://www.flippingfifty.com/getstronger Discovery Call with Debra: https://www.flippingfifty.com/wellness-coaching-for-life/

From Betrayal To Breakthrough
395: Parenting Through Betrayal: The Power of Honesty, Resilience, and Authenticity

From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2024 26:05


In this episode, we explore the delicate balance of parenting while healing from betrayal. As a mom of four, Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT Institute, shares her personal journey of navigating the challenges of healing, all while striving to be the best parent possible. Dr. Debi emphasizes the importance of honesty, vulnerability, and leading by example, showing how these values have shaped her family's healing and transformation. Listen as she discusses the critical lessons learned, from openly sharing struggles with her children to embracing resilience and growth, and how these experiences have ultimately created a stronger, more connected family.   Key Takeaways:  Healing and Parenting: Dr. Debi reflects on the challenges of parenting while moving through her own betrayal, emphasizing that authenticity, honesty, and love are crucial in guiding children through difficult times.  Honesty as Strength: By being open about her struggles, Dr. Debi allowed her children to witness resilience and transformation, offering them a valuable life lesson.  The Power of Vulnerability: Sharing (vs. burdening) her emotional journey with her children fostered a stronger bond of trust and understanding within the family.  Balancing Priorities: Dr. Debi discusses the importance of carving out time for personal healing and self-care, even amidst the demands of family life.  Resilience in Kids: She highlights how children can be more resilient than we often think and benefit from seeing real-life challenges and growth in their parents.  Lead by Example: Dr. Debi explains how modeling authenticity and integrity in her actions helped her children develop their own values and confidence.  Transformation Through Betrayal: Dr. Debi shares how betrayal was a catalyst for deep personal transformation for herself and her husband, ultimately leading to a completely rebuilt and stronger family dynamic.  Quotable Moments:  "If you don't know what you're doing, be honest. If you don't know what you're doing, be authentic. If you don't know what you're doing, express love."  "Betrayal is a full-on reckoning... you get to birth an entirely new you."  "Honesty means all of it, and it rebuilds trust with your kids."  "There's something so beautiful about being authentically you. You're not burdening your kids. You're being real."  Resources:  PBT Institute Website  Previous episodes on healing from betrayal  Connect with Dr. Debi:  The PBT Institute: Break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, love, and trust again.   For the betrayed – Reclaim: Heal from your betrayal and take your life back.   For the betrayer – Rebuild: Heal yourself and help heal the heart you broke.   Take the Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz – Post-Betrayal Syndrome Quiz   Want to become a Certified PBT Coach/Practitioner? Check out our free masterclass here:   Call to Action:  If you're going through betrayal and need support, remember that you're not alone. Check out the resources and programs at The PBT Institute, where we help people transform and heal from betrayal to become their best selves. 

Parents Navigating the Teen Years
102: Helping Teens Understand and Heal from Betrayal

Parents Navigating the Teen Years

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 18, 2024 22:19


Betrayal is one of the most painful of human experiences. Left unhealed, it can impact our teen's health, schoolwork, and relationships. As parents navigating the teen years, it's important to know how these wounds form and how to help our teens navigate through the healing process. On today's podcast, we'll dive into the 3 discoveries that shed light on betrayal, along with providing a research-based, proven, and predictable way to heal from all of it. Dr. Debi Silber, Founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day (celebrated annually on September 1st), is an award winning speaker, and a 2-time #1 International bestselling author. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that change how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice), and more, she's dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most. Tell us about betrayal: Why does it hurt, what does it impact, and what does it create? The breaking of an unspoken promise. What were the 3 discoveries you made during your study? Post-betrayal symptoms will follow you throughout your life unless you heal it. How does an unhealed betrayal impact our health, work, and relationships? What are the questions we can ask ourselves to see if we're numbing/avoiding/distracting ourselves? How do we know if we haven't healed from a betrayal? What do we need to do to move forward and heal from a betrayal experience? How can we learn to trust again? Sponsored by EdGerety.com Resources Website: https://thepbtinstitute.com The latest TEDx: “Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome?“: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyqOR69dHiU TEDx: Stop Sabotaging Yourself: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX30i6nC7ro The From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast: https://thepbtinstitute.com/podcast/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@debisilber Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/InspireEmpowerTransform Twitter: https://twitter.com/DebiSilber Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debisilber/ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debisilber/ Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/debisilber

ReInvent Healthcare
From Trauma to Transformation: Healing Chronic Health Issues Rooted in Betrayal with Dr. Debi Silber

ReInvent Healthcare

Play Episode Listen Later Nov 6, 2024 45:26


n this episode of ReInvent Healthcare, I'm joined by Dr. Debi Silber, founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute, to uncover the hidden ways betrayal can damage physical and emotional health. We explore how unresolved betrayal can trigger chronic issues like leaky gut, immune dysfunction, and hormone imbalances.We dive into the emotional weight betrayal carries. “It's one thing to talk about loss, but betrayal? That's a whole different level of vulnerability.” This hidden shame often leaves people feeling isolated, making it harder to heal. Dr. Debi walks us through the five stages of recovery and how practitioners can help clients move through them to achieve true transformation.Key Discussion Points:How does betrayal affect physical health? How can emotional trauma manifest as physical conditions like leaky gut, immune dysfunction, and adrenal fatigue.What are the five stages of betrayal healing?What is Post-Betrayal Syndrome? Why is betrayal often the missing link in healing chronic health conditions?actionable strategies can practitioners use to support emotional and physical recovery.Here are Dr. Debi's key questions to move to the next stage of healing betrayal:1. Am I numbing, avoiding, or distracting? If so, how? Am I walking into the kitchen, I'm not hungry, and I'm raiding the cabinets?2. What am I pretending not to see? Am I pretending not to see that my relationship is in trouble? Am I pretending not to see that I hate my job?3. What's life going to look like in five to ten years if I keep this going? 4. What would life look like in five to ten years if I make changes now?Resources and Links:Download our FREE Metabolic Health Guide here. Join the Next-Level Health Practitioner Facebook group here for free resources and community supportReserve your spot for ReInvent 2025 here for a deep dive into the microbiome including lab testing and geneticsVisit INEMethod.com for advanced health practitioner training and tools to elevate your clinical skills and grow your practice by getting life-changing results. Check out other podcast episodes hereDebi Silber LinksVisit the BPT Institute website hereWatch Debi on TedX hereListen to the From Betrayal To Breakthrough Podcast hereFollow Debi on Tiktok hereFollow Debi on Facebook hereFollow Debi on Instagram hereSubscribe to Debi YouTube hereCheck out Debi's Pinterest

Bringing Intimacy Back with Dr. April
Episode 216: How Unhealed Betrayal Impacts Your life with Dr. Debi Silber

Bringing Intimacy Back with Dr. April

Play Episode Listen Later Oct 25, 2024 34:44


In this powerful episode of the Bringing Intimacy Back podcast, we welcome Dr. Debi Silber, founder of The PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute. Dr. Silber dives deep into how unhealed betrayal can affect your relationships, mental and physical health, and overall well-being. Discover how betrayal leaves lasting scars and what steps you can take to heal and transform your life. If you're looking to overcome the pain of betrayal and reclaim your power, this episode is a must-watch! Tune in and learn how healing from betrayal can lead to deeper connections and personal growth.

What Are You Made Of?
The Power of Forgiveness: Transforming Trauma with Dr. Debbie Silber

What Are You Made Of?

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 30, 2024 34:04


Mike "C-Roc" welcomes Dr. Debi Silber, a renowned expert in healing from betrayal and the founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT) Institute. Dr. Silber discusses the power of National Forgiveness Day and the groundbreaking insights from her PhD research on betrayal. She reveals the three key discoveries that change how we approach healing from this specific type of trauma. Together, they explore how betrayal impacts us physically, mentally, and emotionally, and the path to healing through deliberate transformation. Dr. Silber shares how she turned her own painful experiences into a journey of personal and professional growth, coining the term post betrayal transformation. Tune in to hear her insights on overcoming betrayal, rebuilding trust, and moving forward in life. Website -https://thepbtinstitute.com/ https://www.instagram.com/debisilber/?hl=en

Amanda Blackwood the Survivor
S5 E2 Dr Debi Silber literally wrote THE BOOK on healing after betrayal!

Amanda Blackwood the Survivor

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 10, 2024 29:12


Dr. Debi Silber is a 2-time #1 International bestselling author of: The Unshakable Woman AND From Hardened to Healed. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice) and more, and now she's on MY little podcast to tell you how you can heal, too! This interview will impact your life in ways unimaginable. Come be inspired, LISTEN TODAY!  ⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/amandablackwood⁠ Find this guest online:  ALL of Dr. Debi Silber's books: ⁠https://amzn.to/46SjwEu⁠ The site: ⁠https://thepbtinstitute.com⁠ The latest TEDx: “Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome?“: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyqOR69dHiU⁠ TEDx: Stop Sabotaging Yourself: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX30i6nC7ro⁠ The From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast: ⁠https://thepbtinstitute.com/podcast/⁠ TikTok: ⁠https://www.tiktok.com/@debisilber⁠ Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/InspireEmpowerTransform⁠ Twitter: ⁠https://twitter.com/DebiSilber⁠ Linkedin: ⁠https://www.linkedin.com/in/debisilber/⁠ Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/debisilber/⁠ Youtube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/debisilber⁠ TRIGGER WARNING: In this episode I'm talking with a trauma survivor about their history and recovery. Suicide, child abuse, and PTSD are common themes. Pairing of guest and podcast provided by #PodMatch. To book yourself as a guest through Podmatch sign up using this link: ⁠⁠https://www.joinpodmatch.com/amanda⁠⁠ Check out ALL of the books written by the podcast guests this season. As an Amazon influencer, I might earn commissions on qualified purchases! I do NOT get paid for the podcast. As always you can support the podcast with PayPal or Venmo donations, or by purchasing one of my books! PayPal ⁠⁠authoramandablackwood@gmail.com⁠⁠ OR donate through the donation page at ⁠⁠https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=9AT5NQ8C474SY⁠⁠ Venmo @DetailedPieces Find my books: ⁠⁠https://books2read.com/ap/xej5pN/Amanda-Blackwood⁠⁠ Shop the ABTS Etsy for signed books, original art prints, and more! ⁠⁠https://www.etsy.com/shop/LadyBlackwoodShop⁠⁠ Get access to previous seasons and exclusive content with a subscription! ⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/amandablackwood/subscribe⁠⁠ NEW!!! Watch this episode on YouTube!⁠⁠ https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLyX6CW82tzFOqYNBkGixqe81NrdEHJjWD⁠⁠

AccordingtoDes
171. When Trust Shatters: Healing from Betrayal Trauma

AccordingtoDes

Play Episode Listen Later Sep 5, 2024 30:46


Welcome to my podcast, The Wellness Project with Des where I speak about all things mental health and wellness to bring you actionable tips you can implement in your own life to help improve your mental health and overall well-being. On today's episode, I speak with Dr. Debi Silber about betrayal trauma. For detailed show notes and where to find Dr. Silber: accordingtodes.com/171 Want to work together? Schedule your free 30-minute consultation call: https://calendly.com/thewellnessprojectwithdes/coaching-consultation Show your love and support for the podcast by buying me a cup of coffee: buymeacoffee.com/thewellnessprojectwithdes Shop wellness and positivity products from my Redbubble store: https://www.redbubble.com/people/AccordingtoDes/shop?asc=u Check out books and products written or recommended by my amazing podcast guests: https://www.amazon.com/shop/influencer-3be311d1?ref_=cm_sw_r_cp_ud_aipsfshop_aipsfinfluencer-3be311d1_GRVS2AR62H5TFFHR13RQ Join my email newsletter and get your free eBook: 5 Stress Reduction Techniques That Will Help You Feel More Relaxed: Subscribepage.io/x4g3g7 Become a part of my Facebook community: facebook.com/groups/accordingtodes Follow me on Instagram: instagram.com/thewellnessprojectwithdes Follow me on TikTok: tiktok.com/@therapywithdes.lcsw I would greatly appreciate it if you would take a moment to leave a review for my podcast on iTunes and/or Spotify. Thank you! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-wellness-project-with-des/id1477570126

Drink Less Lifestyle
205: From Betrayal to Breakthrough with Dr. Debi Silber

Drink Less Lifestyle

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 28, 2024 40:21


Have you ever felt betrayed by someone? Many of us have, and it's often a deeply painful experience that leaves a lasting impact on our lives. Betrayal can be tough to navigate, but it's possible to heal and even transform it into a positive turning point. If you're struggling with betrayal or seeking to overcome it to rebuild your life, this episode is for you. I'm thrilled to be joined by Dr. Debi Silber, who will help us unpack the complex emotions surrounding betrayal and guide us through the healing process. Topics covered in this episode include: What it really takes to experience a post betrayal transformation How to recognize if your body is holding onto trauma from a betrayal The five stages of healing after betrayal and where people get stuck The groups of people that will never heal from their betrayal- and why The one crucial step you need to reach the final stage of healing and achieve true transformation Full show notes are available at https://epicyou.com/podcast/ Resources Mentioned:  Get a copy of The Body Keeps The Score: ​​https://amzn.to/4dfNyFw Visit Dr. Silber's website: https://thepbtinstitute.com The latest TEDx: “Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome?“: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyqOR69dHiU TEDx: “Stop Sabotaging Yourself”: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XX30i6nC7ro Listen to The From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast: https://thepbtinstitute.com/podcast/ Follow her on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@debisilber Follow her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/InspireEmpowerTransform Follow her on Twitter: https://twitter.com/DebiSilber Follow her on Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debisilber/ Follow her on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debisilber/ Follow her on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/debisilber   If you're loving this podcast, please rate and review it to help others create their own Epic Life: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/drink-less-lifestyle/id1534950157 Have a question or topic suggestion for future podcasts? Contact me via Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsherryprice/ Check out and subscribe to my YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.sherryprice Do you have questions about EpicYOU or Tone in 10? Send me an email: sherry@epicyou.com

Bomb Mom
From Betrayal to Breakthrough With Debi Silber |234

Bomb Mom

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 22, 2024 51:23


Are you ready to break free from the pain of betrayal and find safety, trust, and love again? Welcome This Week's Guest Debi Silber Dr. Debi Silber, Founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day (celebrated annually on September 1st), is an award winning speaker, and a 2-time #1 International bestselling… The post From Betrayal to Breakthrough With Debi Silber |234 appeared first on Melissa Vogel.

Exquisitely Aligned
From Betrayal to Breakthrough: Insights from Dr. Debi Silber

Exquisitely Aligned

Play Episode Listen Later Aug 20, 2024 48:49


Healing from Betrayal with Dr. Debi SilberIn this episode of From Betrayal to Breakthrough: Insights from Dr. Debi, we are joined by Dr. Debi, the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day, celebrated annually on September 1st. Dr. Silber is an award-winning speaker and a 2-time #1 International bestselling author. […] The post From Betrayal to Breakthrough: Insights from Dr. Debi Silber appeared first on WebTalkRadio.net.

Healthful Gypsy
How An Unhealed Betrayal Impacts Your Health, Work, and Relationships with Dr. Debi Silber

Healthful Gypsy

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 30, 2024 40:32


How An Unhealed Betrayal Impacts Your Health, Work, and Relationships with Dr. Debi Silber Reach Dr. Debi Silber: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debisilber/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/DebiSilber Do you have Post Betrayal Syndrome? Take the Quiz: https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz/ Reclaim program: https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/ Reach Kat: SOCIAL MEDIA: Instagram: / katkhatibi Facebook: / katkhatibipodcast TikTok: @KatKhatibi Facebook Groups: Facebook Estrogen Dominance Support: / 246063502794666 Facebook General Female Hormonal Imbalances Support Group: / 461743274271991 JOIN THE DISCORD: https://discord.gg/teNDmEsa Be a guest in a future episode: http://katkhatibi.com/podcast/ ORDER PROFESSIONAL SUPPLEMENTS: https://us.fullscript.com/welcome/kat/store-start Balance Your Hormones: TRY Femmenessence MacaHarmony to Balance Hormones Naturally https://www.symphonynaturalhealth.com/KATRINA53248 And listen to our episode with Dr. Mona Fahoum to learn how it works. GET YOUR FREE mineral deficiencies and heavy metal toxicities test with consultation. Dr. Cabral is providing the lab test and consultation to my listeners for free, you just pay shipping and handling. This is a $299 value. Head on over to http://StephenCabral.com/Kat to reserve your test today! --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/healthfulgypsy/support

The Find Your Leadership Confidence Podcast with Vicki Noethling
Dr. Debi Silber on Why We Sabotage Ourselves and How to Stop

The Find Your Leadership Confidence Podcast with Vicki Noethling

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 28, 2024 35:26


Have you ever wondered why betrayal hurts so much and takes so long to heal?

The Divorce and Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq.
From the Archive: Lying, Cheating and Adultery: How to Heal from Betrayal with the Founder of the PBT Institute, Dr. Debi Silber on Divorce & Beyond

The Divorce and Beyond Podcast with Susan Guthrie, Esq.

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 22, 2024 40:33


In this special "From the Archive" episode, Susan Guthrie, top family law attorney and mediator, sits down with Dr. Debi Silber, the Founder of the PBT (Post-Betrayal Transformation) Institute, to discuss the trauma caused by betrayal and the path to healing and a better future. Dr. Debi shares her expertise on moving beyond betrayal, the five stages of healing, and offers invaluable tips to start your healing journey. Highlights from the Episode: What is betrayal and why is it so devastating? Why does Dr. Debi say that "even though it happened to you, it's not about you?" The five stages of betrayal and healing: Where are you? Three reasons people don't heal from betrayal How failure to heal can be like an addiction Top tips to start the healing process About Our Guest: About Our Guest: Dr. Debi Silber, Ph.D. is the founder of The PBT® (Post-Betrayal Transformation®) Institute, National Forgiveness Day, and runs a WBENC-Certified WBE company. A holistic psychologist and personal development expert, she authored Trust Again and The Rebuild Roadmap, and hosts the globally ranked podcast From Betrayal to Breakthrough. Her Ph.D. study on betrayal has made groundbreaking discoveries, and she's dedicated to helping people overcome betrayal and other blocks to achieve health, happiness, and success. Important Links and Resources: Dr. Debi Silber's TEDx Talk: Do You Have Post-Betrayal Syndrome? Take the "Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome Quiz": PBT Institute Quiz - Discover if you have PBS, what stage you are in, and receive tips for healing by email. The PBT (Post-Betrayal Transformation) Institute: PBTInstitute.com Please Note: This is an archive episode, so some of the links and offers mentioned in the episode may no longer be valid. For the most up-to-date information and resources, please refer to the links provided above in these show notes. ************* Our Sponsors: Gabrielle Hartley, the Creator of the Better Apart Method:  Leading divorce lawyer, coach and mediator, Gabrielle Hartley's book book "Better Apart: The Radically Positive Way to Separate" is a runaway best-seller and she provides mediation and consulting services to couples and individuals navigating the divorce process through her Better Apart Mediation practice. FAYR, the BEST Co-Parenting App on the Market!   What makes FAYR different?  At FAYR it's not just about efficiency and ease (though they love those).  They also help you create a better co-parenting experience by providing tools for: constructive communication, argument diffusion, and emotional support.  For information on our FAYR, the ONLY co-parenting app recommended by Susan Guthrie and The Divorce and Beyond Podcast,  visit their website at www.fayr.com.  Don't forget to use the code "SUSANG18" for 20% off!! ***********************   MEET OUR CREATOR AND HOST: SUSAN GUTHRIE®, ESQ., the creator and host of The Divorce and Beyond® Podcast, has been nationally recognized as one of the top family law and divorce mediation attorneys in the country for more than 30 years.  Susan is the Chair-Elect of the American Bar Association Section of Dispute Resolution and is a sought-after keynote speaker, business and practice consultant, coach and trainer. You can find out more about Susan and her services here: https://susaneguthrie.com Divorce & Beyond is a Top 1% Overall and Top 100 Self-Help podcast designed to help you with all you need to know to navigate your divorce journey and most importantly, to thrive in your beautiful beyond! ***************************************************************************** SPONSORSHIP OPPORTUNITIES AVAILABLE! If you would like to sponsor the show please reach out to us at  divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com for pricing and details!!! ********************************************************************* Remember to follow Susan Guthrie and THE DIVORCE AND BEYOND PODCAST on social media for updates and inside tips and information: Susan Guthrie on Facebook @susanguthrieesq Susan on Instagram @susanguthrieesq Susan on Twitter @guthrielaw Susan on TikTok @divorceandbeyond If you want to see the video version of the podcast episodes they are available on The Divorce & Beyond YouTube Channel!  Make sure to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE so you don't miss a single episode! Finally, we'd really appreciate it if you would  give us a 5 Star Rating and tell us what you like about the show in a review - your feedback really matters to us!  You can get in touch with Susan at divorceandbeyondpod@gmail.com.  Don't forget to visit the webpage www.divorceandbeyondpod.com and sign up for the free NEWSLETTER to receive a special welcome video from Susan and more!! ***************************************************************************** DISCLAIMER:  THE COMMENTARY AND OPINIONS AVAILABLE ON THIS PODCAST ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL AND ENTERTAINMENT PURPOSES ONLY AND NOT FOR THE PURPOSE OF PROVIDING LEGAL ADVICE.  YOU SHOULD CONTACT AN ATTORNEY IN YOUR STATE TO OBTAIN LEGAL ADVICE WITH RESPECT TO ANY PARTICULAR ISSUE OR PROBLEM  

Fix Your Fatigue
Has Your Body Betrayed You? How to Heal from Betrayal with Dr. Debi Silber and Evan H. Hirsch, MD

Fix Your Fatigue

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 18, 2024 47:02


In this episode, Dr. Debi Silber, along with Evan Hirsch, explores how to deal with the feeling that your body has betrayed you, and other forms of betrayal.   Dr. Debi Silber, Founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and National Forgiveness Day (celebrated annually on September 1st), is an award winning speaker, and a 2-time #1 International bestselling author. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice) and more, she's dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most.   Struggling with unexplained symptoms? It could be post-betrayal syndrome. Take Dr. Debi Silber's quick quiz to find out and start your healing journey: https://thepbtinstitute.com/quiz/   Want to learn more about Dr. Debi Silber? Feel free to check out: https://thepbtinstitute.com/   Stay connected with Dr. Debi on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/debisilber .   For more information about Evan and his program, Click Here.   Prefer to watch on Youtube? Click Here.   Please note that any information in this episode is for educational purposes only and does not constitute medical advice.

Imperfect Love
Healing from Family and Romantic Relationship Betrayals with Expert Dr. Debi Silber

Imperfect Love

Play Episode Listen Later Jul 12, 2024 44:53


We often crave to be loved perfectly, yet human love is naturally imperfect. And while it's normal for us to unintentionally let each other down now and again, actions of betrayal are in a different category altogether. When those we count on most betray us, the body, mind, and spirit are deeply traumatized. The etymology of the word "betrayal" takes us to its roots of intentional deceit, unfaithfulness, and treachery--all of which remind us of the magnitude of betraying trust. Betrayal, as the antithesis of trust and love, can destroy a relationship that took years to build. There is almost nothing more devastating than discovering that someone you counted on--a person you trusted deeply to love and care for you--has deceived you. Whether we are betrayed by a romantic partner, family member, friend, or other trusted person, betrayal can cut us to the core. How can we heal from the pain of betrayal? Join Dr. Carla and betrayal expert Dr. Debi Silber for a wisdom-filled exploration of betrayal, trauma, and the journey into healing. This insightful episode focuses on the traumatic effects of family betrayals. The impact of betrayal within romantic relationships is also highlighted. Listener discretion is advised.Books by Dr. Carla Manly:Date Smart: Transform Your Relationships and Love FearlesslyJoy From Fear: Create the Life of Your Dreams by Making Fear Your Friend Aging Joyfully: A Woman's Guide to Optimal Health, Relationships, and Fulfillment for Her 50s and BeyondThe Joy of Imperfect Love: The Art of Creating Healthy, Securely Attached RelationshipsConnect with Dr. Carla Manly:Website: https://www.drcarlamanly.comInstagram: https://www.instagram.com/drcarlamanlyTwitter: https://www.twitter.com/drcarlamanlyFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/drcarlamanlyLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/carla-marie-manly-8682362bYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@dr.carlamariemanly8543TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr_carla_manlyBook by Dr. Debi Silber:Trust Again: Overcoming Betrayal and Regaining Health, Confidence, and HappinessFrom Hardened to Healed: The Effortless Path to Release Resistance, Get Unstuck, and Create a Life You LoveThe Unshakable Woman: 4 Steps to Rebuilding Your Body, Mind and Life After a Life CrisisThe Rebuild Roadmap: A Personalized Blueprint to Heal Yourself and Transform Your RelationshipsA Pocket Full of Mojo: 365 Proven Strategies to Create Your Ultimate Body, Mind, Image and LifestyleThe Lifestyle Fitness Program: A Six Part Plan So Every Mom Can Look, Feel and Live Her BestConnect with Dr. Debi Silber:Website: https://thepbtinstitute.comPodcast: https://thepbtinstitute.com/podcastLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/debisilberYouTube: https://www.youtube.com/c/DebiSilberLove the show? Subscribe, rate, review, and share! https://drcarlamanly.com

From Betrayal To Breakthrough
373: How Betrayal Impacts the Chakras with Elizabeth Kipp

From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Play Episode Listen Later Jun 17, 2024 38:40


Introduction  Host: Dr. Debi Silber  Guest: Elizabeth Kipp, a beloved coach at the PBT Institute  Topic: Exploring how betrayal impacts the chakras and the journey of healing through the body's energy centers.    Segment 1: Introduction to Chakras    What are Chakras?  Chakras are seven main energy vortices in the body from the base of the spine to the top of the head.  Each chakra corresponds to specific physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects.  Overview of the Seven Chakras  Root Chakra: Base of the spine, related to fear, relationships, safety, and resources.  Sacral Chakra: Pelvis, associated with creativity, intimacy, and guilt.  Solar Plexus Chakra: Below the ribcage, the power center, associated with shame and boundaries.  Heart Chakra: Chest area, involves grief, despair, and betrayal.  Throat Chakra: Communication and expression.  Third Eye Chakra: Intuition and perception, clarity versus illusion.  Crown Chakra: Top of the head, connection to oneness and higher power.    Segment 2: How Betrayal Affects Each Chakra    Root Chakra: Betrayal shatters the sense of safety and security, impacting family and resources.  Sacral Chakra: Leads to guilt and loss of creativity and intimacy.  Solar Plexus Chakra: Betrayal affects personal power, leading to feelings of shame and anger.  Heart Chakra: Directly hit by betrayal, causing grief, despair, and heartache.  Throat Chakra: Impacts the ability to express oneself and communicate effectively.  Third Eye Chakra: Creates confusion and illusion, making it hard to see the truth.  Crown Chakra: Breaks the sense of connection and oneness, leading to feelings of isolation.    Segment 3: Healing Through the Stages of Betrayal    Stage 1: The Setup  All chakras are affected as the sense of safety and connection is destroyed.  Stage 2 & 3: Breakdown and Survival Instincts Emerge  Continues to affect all chakras, leading to a full-blown crisis in physical, emotional, and spiritual realms.  Stage 4: Finding and Adjusting to a New Normal  Focus on the Solar Plexus and Throat Chakras.  Regaining personal power and finding one's voice.  Setting new boundaries and learning to trust oneself.  Stage 5: Healing and Rebirth  Focus on the Third Eye and Crown Chakras.  Moving from illusion to intuition and feeling a sense of oneness.  Developing a new worldview and trusting intuition.  Segment 4: Practical Steps for Healing    Daily Practices  Engage in physical practices like yoga to clear energy blocks.  Use specific sounds and hand positions (mudras) to balance chakras.  Breathing exercises to regulate the nervous system and regain a sense of power.  Creating New Habits  Consistency in practice to break negative patterns and create new, positive habits.  Importance of Community  Healing within a supportive community to share pain and progress together.  Conclusion    Key Takeaways  Betrayal impacts every chakra, requiring holistic healing.  Engaging in physical, emotional, and spiritual practices is crucial.  Support and community play a vital role in the healing journey.  Future Plans  Exciting discussion about co-authoring a book on the stages of healing and chakras.  Resources    The PBT Institute: Learn more about the programs and coaching available.  Elizabeth Kitt: Explore Elizabeth's work and coaching services.  Contact    The PBT Institute: https://thepbtinstitute.com  The Reclaim Program: (Where Coach Elizabeth can help you): https://thepbtinstitute.com/reclaim/    Stay tuned for more insightful discussions on healing from betrayal and balancing your chakras on our next episode! 

Sex Afflictions & Porn Addictions
From Betrayal Trauma to Empowerment w. Dr. Debi Silber (the pain of sexual secrets)

Sex Afflictions & Porn Addictions

Play Episode Listen Later May 12, 2024 41:51


If you know someone struggling with betrayal and the trauma the comes from it then you MUST send them this podcast on betrayal trauma that I did with Dr. Debi Silber of the Post Betrayal Transformation Institute.

Blossom Your Awesome
Overcoming Betrayal With Dr. Debi Silber Blossom Your Awesome Podcast

Blossom Your Awesome

Play Episode Listen Later May 8, 2024 52:29


Overcoming Betrayal With Dr. Debi Silber Blossom Your Awesome Podcast Episode #273 Dr. Debi Silber joins us to discuss Overcoming Betrayal. Dr. Debi is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert, the author of "Trust Again," and is a 2-time #1 International bestselling author of "The Unshakable Woman" AND "From Hardened to Healed."On This Episode Dr. Debi Silber discusses the stages of healing from betrayal and the importance of post-betrayal transformation. She shares her personal experience of betrayal and how it led her to study and understand the psychology of transformation. Dr. Silber explains that betrayal is a different type of trauma that shatters the entire self, and healing from it requires a unique approach. She outlines the five stages of healing: before it happens, shock and trauma, survival instincts, finding a new normal, and healing, rebirth, and a new worldview. TakeawaysBetrayal is a different type of trauma that shatters the entire self.Healing from betrayal requires a unique approach called post-betrayal transformation.There are five stages of healing from betrayal: before it happens, shock and trauma, survival instincts, finding a new normal, and healing, rebirth, and a new worldview.Repeat betrayals indicate that the initial betrayal has not been fully healed.Fully healing from betrayal involves addressing physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual aspects.Time alone does not heal the wounds of betrayal; deliberate and intentional healing is necessary. Healing and rebuilding trust after betrayal requires personal growth and self-healing.Forgiveness is a crucial part of the healing process, but it is for the sake of the individual, not the betrayer.There are different stages of healing, and it is important to move through each stage in order to fully heal.Empathy is essential for both the betrayed and the betrayer in order to understand and heal from the pain of betrayal.The PBT Institute offers programs and support for individuals and companies dealing with betrayal and its aftermath.Sound Bites"Betrayal feels intentional, we take it personally. The entire self gets shattered.""Betrayal is a different type of trauma. You're creating a new life and rebuilding the self.""Repeat betrayals mean the betrayal is not healed. There's a profound lesson waiting to be learned.""to create something that otherwise would never have been able to be birthed had that not happen.""Forgiveness really is for you.""Rebuilding a new relationship that has so much to do with the other person."To learn more about Dr. Debi click here. Chapters00:00Introduction and Background01:03Personal Experience of Betrayal09:14The Five Stages of Healing from Betrayal12:49The Importance of Post-Betrayal Transformation23:12Building a New and Better Version of Yourself24:31Healing and Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal27:42The Role of Forgiveness in the Healing Process29:41The Stages of Healing and Personal Growth30:18The Importance of Empathy for Both the Betrayed and the Betrayer37:59The PBT Institute: Supporting Individuals and Companies in Healing from BetrayalTo follow me, get bonus content from the show and to support my writing Check me out here at my Substack. To see more of my work check me out at my website. Or my other site

The BTR.ORG Podcast - Betrayal Trauma Recovery
Is Forgiveness Helpful for Victims of Betrayal?

The BTR.ORG Podcast - Betrayal Trauma Recovery

Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2024 18:00


Forgiveness is a polarizing topic for victims of intimate betrayal. But can it provide relief & healing? Dr. Debi Silber is on the podcast.

Perfect Practice
EP139: Healing After Betrayal, with Dr. Debi Silber

Perfect Practice

Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2024 52:08


In this episode, Sachin interviews Dr. Debi Silber, founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation® Institute about her journey from television production to coaching people to post betrayal transformation. She shares the problems that grow from past betrayals relating to emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual issues that remain unhealed until the betrayal is faced and dealt with. She shares examples from life and even from her family life and career. Listen in for insight on how your clients' betrayals or your betrayals may be causing issues for them or you.   Key Takeaways: [:59] Sachin introduces Dr. Debi Silber, who joins us for a conversation about our business, our emotional health, integrity, and betrayal. [1:42] Betrayal is something we deal with constantly. It likely happened to us many years ago and it currently impacts the way we operate. It may impact our nervous system, our relationships, and the dreams and aspirations we reach for; certainly, it impacts our self-worth.   [2:17] Dr. Debi Silber has developed a very successful business following her passion and her mission, speaking to people about betrayal and the trauma that it causes, the impact it has, and the breakthroughs that can come as a result.   [2:35] Sachin thanks Dr. Debi for being here on Perfect Practice.   [3:34] Dr. Debi followed her gut. She had graduated from college with a double major in TV production and broadcast journalism but she learned that production wasn't rewarding or fulfilling her. Debi didn't immediately give up production, but health was what was calling to her.   [4:32] Eventually, Debi became an NSRD and a holistic dietician with a Master's in nutrition. From there, Debi became a personal trainer. That business took off. Although Debi was eating well and exercising, she realized she was sick. She was anything but the picture of health.   [5:13] Debi studied to become a whole health coach. She learned that the thoughts she was thinking, the stress she was under, and the relationships she had were at the root of her sickness.   [5:30] Debi cut the ties and healed from all of it. That was the beginning of this new health journey. Years later, her traumas from betrayal led her to the Ph.D. program, the studies, and where she is now.   [5:51] Dr. Debi founded the Post Betrayal Transformation® Institute. She is a holistic psychologist with a health and personal development mindset. She is a two-time bestselling author. She has a popular podcast. She gave two TEDx talks. She's been on the Dr. Oz Show.   [6:40] About toxic relationships. Dr. Debi says you're in a toxic relationship when you start questioning and doubting yourself, when you stop believing in yourself and you figure that someone else knows better than you, and when you don't realize your value and worth.   [7:21] Often, it starts with an early betrayal. A child is shushed by his mother and starts to think he doesn't matter. If that's his belief, it will affect his choices, the work he would do, and the people he would date, if it doesn't get looked at.   [9:10] The second of Debi's three discoveries is that post betrayal syndrome has symptoms. It shows up in health, work, and relationships. It can show up as a repeat betrayal. The faces change but it's the same thing. You go from boss to boss, friend to friend, partner to partner. [9:40] It's not your fault, it's your opportunity: There's a profound lesson waiting to be learned! You are lovable, worthy, and deserving. You need better boundaries in place. Whatever it is, until and unless you get that, you will have opportunities in the form of people who teach you.   [9:56] A repeat betrayal means it is unhealed.   [9:59] The second way betrayal shows up in relationships is the big wall keeping everyone at a distance. It comes from a place of fear. Our trust was so shattered that we would rather keep everyone at bay than risk vulnerability and feel that pain again. That's an unhealed betrayal.   [10:24] At work, your confidence was shattered so you don't have the confidence to ask for a deserved raise or promotion, and you're bitter and resentful instead. Or you want to be a team player but the person you trusted the most, or your boss, proved untrustworthy.   [10:47] In health, people go to a well-meaning doctor, coach, healer, or therapist to manage a stress-related issue. At the root of it is an unhealed betrayal.   [11:06] Dr. Debi founded National Forgiveness Day, September 1. If you're working on forgiveness for the wrong reasons, it backfires every time. Move toward acceptance first, it's an easier reach.   [12:26] Withholding forgiveness only hurts us. In the betrayed community, we feel the rug has been pulled out from under us and we barely have any control over our lives. Granting or withholding forgiveness is something within our control and we are hesitant to give it back.   [12:52] Debi shares a story of the power of forgiveness for an elderly woman with an old family betrayal. She also had digestive issues. She participated in a 21-day forgiveness journey. Two weeks into her forgiveness journey, she healed from her digestive issues.   [14:36] Dr. Debi says 95,000-plus men and women have taken the Post Betrayal Quiz from many countries. Of respondents, 78% constantly revisit their experience, 81% feel loss of personal power, 80% are hyper-vigilant, and 94% deal with painful triggers.   [15:08] Physical symptoms reported are low energy (71%), sleep issues (68%), extreme fatigue (63%), weight changes (47%), and digestive issues (45%). Mental symptoms reported are overwhelm (78%), disbelief (70%), shock (64%), and inability to concentrate (62%).   [15:42] You can't concentrate, you have a gut issue, you're exhausted, and you still have to raise your children; you still have to work.   [15:52] Emotionally, 88% experience extreme sadness; 83% are very angry. Think about what your nervous system is doing when that's happening.   [16:07] Eighty-two percent are hurt; 79% are stressed; 84% have an inability to trust; 67% prevent themselves from forming deep relationships for fear of being hurt again; 82% find it hard to move forward, and 90% want to move forward but don't know how.   [17:01] This betrayal could be from a parent when you were a child or the boyfriend or girlfriend who broke your heart in high school. They may not know, care, or even be alive and you have these symptoms from something years ago. You can heal from all of it.   [17:34] People typically go to therapy, where they feel heard but also retraumatize themselves, solidify their story, and make it who they are. They are stuck with repeat betrayals.   [18:32] Some people numb, avoid, and distract. They use food, drugs, alcohol, work, TV, or more to numb, avoid, and distract themselves. In PBT, people learn to face it, feel it, and heal it. That's how to move through it. You can't move through it if you're numbing or coasting.   [19:03] Some people join a support group and are miserable together. They sabotage their healing because they don't want to outgrow their people.   [19:28] Numbing, hanging onto your story, or seeking people with the same story is like Krazy Glue® keeping you stuck in one spot, preventing you from moving through the five stages from betrayal to breakthrough.   [20:35] We can stay stuck for decades but if we're going to fully heal from post betrayal syndrome to a completely rebuilt space, post betrayal transformation, (Dr. Debi's first discovery), we're going to move through five proven, predictable stages (Dr. Debi's third discovery).   [20:58] We know what happens physically, mentally, and emotionally, at every one of the five stages and what it takes to move from one stage to the next. Healing is entirely predictable.   [21:18] Stage 1 is before it happens. Imagine four legs to a table, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. People lean heavily on the physical and mental and neglect the emotional and spiritual. A table with only two legs topples over.   [21:40] Stage 2 is shock, trauma, and discovery day. It's the scariest, by far of the stages. It's the breakdown of the body, mind, and worldview. You ignite the stress response. Your mind is in total chaos and overwhelm. You can't wrap your mind around what you just learned.   [22:39] Stage 3 is survival instinct. You grab hold of anything or anyone to stay safe and alive. This is the most practical stage. It's the most common place to get stuck. Once we've figured out how to survive our experience, as it feels better than shock and trauma, we plant roots.   [24:25] Because we don't know there's anywhere else to go, but it still feels bad, we start numbing and distracting. This can go on for years and we're stuck in Stage 3.   [25:19] If you are willing to let go of your story, the benefits you're receiving, grief, and more, you move to Stage 4.   [25:31] Stage 4 is finding and adjusting to a new normal. You acknowledge you can't undo what happened but you control what you do with it. That turns down the stress and stops the damage you've been accumulating in Stage 2 and Stage 3. It feels like you've moved to a new place.   [25:55] When you move, you don't take things with you that don't represent who you are ready to become. Old relationships that were not there for you or don't change with you are left behind. You've outgrown them.   [26:26] When you settle into your new space that you have made mentally home, you move into Stage 5. Stage 5 is healing, rebirth, and a new worldview. Your body starts to heal. Self-love, self-care, eating well, and exercising. You didn't have the bandwidth for that before; now you do.    [26:44] Your mind is healing. You make new rules, set new boundaries, and you have a new worldview, based on everything you've been through. The four legs of your table, physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual, are solidly grounded. You are focused on all four legs.   [27:04] Sachin relates his life's growth to the five stages and speaks of a big shift when he moved away from a bad job. He considers his clients as possibly going through betrayal. He considers his relationship with his son and asks how to break the ice if he may be the betrayer.   [30:22] Debi's betrayal came when she had four teens. It was the biggest wake-up call. They are so close now, like having been through a war together. At the time, she told them how she loved them and was not at her best, but was giving them the best she could. They supported her.   [31:07] Debi finds that nothing beats honesty. She explains how that would work in a conversation with a child about falling short in dealing with that child. When in doubt, honesty wins every time. Sachin recommends you play this part of the episode back and practice it.   [32:25] Debi adds advice for a betrayer who wants to be accountable and repair trust in a relationship. Your honesty is not supposed to flow out of you beautifully. That doesn't build trust. It's supposed to be awkward. You're not supposed to be smooth at this. It's unfamiliar to you.   [33:08] It's OK. You're learning something new because that person is worth it. Instead of trying to get the words right, just tap into your heart. Conversations go wrong when we go from our head to reach someone's head or to reach their heart. Go from your heart to their heart.   [34:24] Debi has always gone by her intuition. Early on, with four kids, six dogs, and a thriving business, it was all about holding it together. Her advice is to be careful what feeds you. To keep it going, Debi was sacrificing sleep and cutting corners on herself, and that caught up quickly.   [35:15] The lesson learned led Debi to leave health in that way and move toward something that involves what stress is doing and what your lifestyle is creating. From there, Debi realized that toxic family relationships were at the root of her issues.   [35:52] When Debi cut those ties, her mentor told her it was like she had traded an anchor for a pair of wings. She healed from everything. Debi wrote her first book in two-and-a-half weeks. It flew out of her. She wanted every mom to know the “secret to everything” she thought she had.   [36:18] Debi became an FDN. Then Debi's betrayal came, from her family and her husband. She enrolled in a Ph.D. program in transpersonal psychology and did her study on betrayal, to get herself out of the jam and understand how the mind works and why we do these things.   [37:05] When the discoveries in her study showed up, Debi was on a Zoom call with a mentor talking about the discoveries but not sharing her story. Her mentor told her to stop hiding behind her study. She knew he was right.   [37:45] She sat down with her children and her husband, as they were working on reconciliation, and told them she was going to write their story in a book. Her children approved. Her husband got emotional and said, “You're going to help so many people.” So it was in the book.   [38:30] Debi gave two TEDx talks. In the first one, “Stop Sabotaging Yourself,” six weeks after her betrayal, she hinted at her story. In the second one, “Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome?” she talked about her betrayal for one of the first times. It's changed her life.   [39:24] Debi describes how people move through the stages at the PBT. She also offers two certification programs: Certified PBT Coach or Practioner and Certified Support Group Host. The intention is for people to get the right kind of support to lift and inspire them.   [40:15] Support groups are going up around the world, the PBT is growing and certifying more coaches and getting more members, especially corporate employees with fear, who are acting from unhealed betrayals of years ago. PBT is approaching corporations to help address this.   [41:58] Debi loves speaking and would like to do more of it. In the beginning for her, speaking was a means of imparting information. Then she realized it's not about information but about sharing a special experience with the audience, as though telling them about a great book.   [42:34] When Debi changed her speaking to sharing what excited her, she began to love speaking. Her favorite parts are the book signing or getting to hug people afterward. Her talks sometimes shock people to prod them out of numbness.   [43:32] When it comes to sharing your message, share it in a way that feels really good for you. If blogging feels natural and comfortable, do that. If podcasting feels great, do that. Or being on stages. The world needs what you have in the specific way you have it.   [44:01] Don't try everything. When you're doing what you do best, it's effortless and you love it. Why not just do more of that?   [45:26] Debi describes the Hero's Journey, going about their business, then there's the big trauma, and then the part where they start to rise and realize their worth and value. The trauma starts to subside and they ask “What can I do with this and use it to my advantage?”   [46:18] That's what excites Debi, because that's when you'll see new levels of health, new relationships, new passion projects, new businesses, and endless possibilities.   [47:26] The PBT offers two tracks for certifying PBT coaches. One is for coaches and healers and the other is for doctors, therapists, counselors, psychologists, and psychiatrists. It's the same training of the five stages, it's just a difference in the title and pay of coach or practitioner.   [47:50] The ideal candidate is a coach who has experienced betrayal and wants to serve this niche. As 45% of betrayed people have digestive issues, a digestive doctor would be a perfect candidate. How much more effective would they be if they got to the root cause of the issue?   [49:05] If a practitioner wants to refer to Dr. Debi Silber, start at ThePBTInstitute.com. The PBT can work remotely. They have clients and coaches all over the world. There's a recent coach from Dubai and one who's starting from Kenya. Members are from all over the world.   [49:45] Dr. Debi Silber shares her one message with the world: “As it relates to betrayal, even though it happened to you, it's not about you. Say that to yourself a million times until you believe it because that's absolutely true. There's a roadmap. Healing has become a choice.”   [50:03] “As far as business goes, follow your gut. If you feel called to do something, it's because you're supposed to. And do it boldly, and proudly, and don't give up, ever.”   [50:32] Sachin thanks Dr. Debi Silber for being such a source of inspiration on Perfect Practice. Sachin would love to hear about breakthroughs his listeners have as a result of listening to this conversation. Listeners, please check out the links in the show notes.   [51:39] Dr. Debi Silber thanks Sachin.   Mentioned in this episode Perfect Practice Live “Debi Silber: Stop Sabotaging Yourself” TEDx “Debi Silber: Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome?” TEDx   More about your host Sachin Patel How to speak with Sachin Go one step further and Become The Living Proof Perfect Practice Live sachin@becomeproof.com To set up a practice clarity call and opportunity audit   Books by Sachin Patel: Perfect Practice: How to Build a Successful Functional Medical Business, Attract Your Ideal Patients, Serve Your Community, and Get Paid What You're Worth The Motivation Molecule: The Biological Secrets To Eliminate Procrastination, Skyrocket Productivity, and Get Sh!t Done   Tweetables:   “You're in a toxic relationship when you start questioning and doubting yourself; when you stop believing in yourself and you figure that someone else knows better than you; when you don't realize your value and your worth.” — Dr. Debi Silber   “A repeat betrayal means it is unhealed.” — Dr. Debi Silber   “Withholding forgiveness only hurts us.” — Dr. Debi Silber   “Stage 5 is healing, rebirth, and a new worldview. Your body starts to heal with self-love, self-care, eating well, and exercising. You didn't have the bandwidth for that before; now you do.” — Dr. Debi Silber   “We just want to get the Five Stages into as many hands as possible.” — Dr. Debi Silber   Dr. Debi Silber, WBENC Certified WBE The PBT® Institute    

Married 2.0
104. The 5 Phases Of Recovering From Betrayal Trauma

Married 2.0

Play Episode Listen Later May 7, 2024 37:48


Dr. Debi Silber is an expert in betrayal trauma and has a wealth of knowledge. After leaving her husband for betraying her, she jumped into the research and found 5 phases to truly heal the trauma. Once she did her own work, she re-married him and created an even deeper connection and marriage. Tune in as you learn more about how to heal from betrayal. Betrayal comes in all forms. It could be a work colleague, a friend, a partner, or family member that betrays you in some way. If you don't do the consistent work to heal, it can continue to affect you throughout your life. Let's all heal ourselves and relationships but listening to Debi! Contact Dr. Silber https://thepbtinstitute.com/  More Resources:  Facebook Group Instagram Website --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thriveher/support

The BTR.ORG Podcast - Betrayal Trauma Recovery
Healing From Betrayal Trauma with Dr. Debi Silber

The BTR.ORG Podcast - Betrayal Trauma Recovery

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 30, 2024 20:57


Healing from betrayal trauma is absolutely possible. Dr. Debi Silber discusses the five steps to healing and more on this episode.

Supercharge Your Soul's Transformation
Ep 26: Trust Broken? Understanding Betrayal Trauma and Pathways to Healing- Dr. Debi Silber & Dimple Bindra

Supercharge Your Soul's Transformation

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 11, 2024 33:03 Transcription Available


In this transformative episode of "Supercharge Your Soul's Transformation," hosted by Dimple Bindra, we delve into the profound impact of unhealed betrayal with Dr. Debi Silber, a leading expert in the field. Dr. Silber, founder of the Post Betrayal Transformation (PBT) Institute and visionary behind National Forgiveness Day, shares her personal journey of healing from betrayal and reveals her pioneering research that has changed the lives of thousands.Dr. Silber's insights into the science of betrayal, combined with actionable strategies for overcoming its effects, make this episode a must-listen for anyone looking to heal and transform their life post-betrayal. Her holistic approach, emphasizing both the psychological and physical aspects of healing, offers a comprehensive path toward reclaiming health, happiness, and personal growth.Key Takeaways:Betrayal uniquely devastates our trust and self-esteem, requiring a distinct healing journey, underscored by the insights from the Post Betrayal Syndrome quiz which reveals the depth of one's struggle, highlighting that healing transcends mere time. Progressing through five stages—from shock and survival to healing, rebirth, and the adoption of a new worldview—is essential. Forgiveness plays a vital role in this process, rooted in strength and self-love rather than obligatory reconciliation. Embracing a positive support network and dedicating oneself to the healing journey can transform the anguish of betrayal into resilience and empowerment.What We Discuss:1. The Definition and Depth of Betrayal: Understanding betrayal's unique nature and how it differs from other life traumas.2. Post Betrayal Syndrome: Identifying the common symptoms and long-lasting effects of betrayal on our health, work, and relationships.3. The Journey to Healing: The five stages from betrayal to breakthrough, offering a roadmap for transformation.4. The Power of Forgiveness: Discussing when and how to forgive, and its significance in the healing process.5. Practical Steps for Healing: Advice for those currently struggling with the aftermath of betrayal, highlighting the importance of moving through the healing stages deliberately.Follow Dr Siber's work at - https://thepbtinstitute.comIf you are interested in diving deeper into how you can heal - Let's work together: https://dimplebindra.com/Don't forget to leave a review for the podcast on iTunes! https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/supercharge-your-souls-transformation/id1707420787To receive a free gift, email a screenshot of your review of the Supercharge Your Soul's Podcast to wecare@dimplebindra.comFollow me your spiritual bestie to active your fullest expression + laugh along the way:https://www.instagram.com/dimplesbindra/https://www.tiktok.com/@dimplesbindrahttps://www.facebook.com/dimple.bindraSubscribe to my Youtube channels and watch more videoshttps://www.youtube.com/@DimplesbindraWanna do a business collaborations with me? Connect on LinkedInhttps://www.linkedin.com/in/dimplebindraGet my FREE Masterclass https://dimplebindra.com/godimplebindramasterclassLove YouDimple BindraSupport the show

Over 50 & Flourishing with Dominique Sachse
Finding Safety and Security After Betrayal

Over 50 & Flourishing with Dominique Sachse

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 8, 2024 63:06


Today we're diving into the raw emotions of betrayal, trauma, and the path to healing. And I'm thrilled to have the wonderful Dr. Debi Silber, the heart behind PBT - Post Betrayal Transformation, here with us. Her passion for helping people regain trust in themselves and others is beyond inspiring. Join us as we explore practical ways to reclaim control over our lives after experiencing a breach of trust. More From Debi: https://thepbtinstitute.com/ https://open.spotify.com/show/6VRwZj8to6glEoEQWyQ2x6 Listen to the Podcast: https://bit.ly/Over50andFlourishingwithDominiqueSachsePodcast Website: https://dominiquesachse.tv/ Book: https://dominiquesachse.tv/book/ Insta: https://www.instagram.com/dominiquesachse/?hl=en Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DominiqueSachse/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dominiquesachse?lang=en Youtube:https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCXrsVPFsk-66NTaoGMXoPFQ Thanks to my Sponsors: Go to https://boncharge.com/OVER50 and use coupon code OVER50 to save 15%. No more shady business. Ritual's Essential for Women 50+ is a multivitamin you can actually trust. Get 25% off your first month for a limited time at https://ritual.com/OVER50 Control Body Odor ANYWHERE with @lumedeodorant and get 15% off with promo code OVER50 at https://LumeDeodorant.com! #lumepod Get 15% off OneSkin with the code OVER50 at https://www.oneskin.co/  #oneskinpod Interested in being featured as a guest? Please email courtney@dominiquesachse.tv  For advertising opportunities please email PodcastPartnerships@Studio71us.com We want to make the podcast even better, help us learn how we can: https://bit.ly/2EcYbu4 Privacy Policy: https://www.studio71.com/terms-and-conditions-use/#Privacy%20Policy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Be It Till You See It
350. Advice for Moving Forward After Betrayal

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2024 38:43


Betrayal leaves deep wounds, but it also opens the door to profound personal transformation. In this powerful episode, Lesley Logan and Brad Crowell recap Dr. Debi Silber's episode, discussing the intentional nature of betrayal, its impact on our lives, and the deliberate steps needed to heal. Listeners will find solace, understanding, and strategies for setting better boundaries and to prevent repeated betrayals.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:Addressing concerns about insufficient teacher training and alternative learning paths.The personal impact of betrayal and its distinct nature from other traumas.How betrayal can be a catalyst for personal growth and transformation.Overview of the process and stages involved in recovering from betrayal.The importance of establishing strong boundaries to prevent future betrayals.Episode References/Links:The PBT InstituteStudio Growth AcceleratorOPC Summer CampCambodia February 2025 Early Bird4-Week Pilates ChallengeeLevate WaitlistLittle Readers Big Change  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinar Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Lesley Logan 0:00  She said time heals all wounds but that does not apply to betrayal. And she said healing needs to be deliberate and intentional. Like you actually have to be deliberate and intentional with your healing. Lesley Logan 0:11  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 0:49  Welcome back to the Be It Till You See It interview recap where my co-host in life, Brad, and I are going to dig into the transformative convo I had with Dr. Debi Silber in our last episode. If you haven't yet listened to the interview, feel free to pause this now. Go back and listen to that one and then come back and join us. Holy freaking moly. We have never had a topic on betrayal. Nope. First time and not only do we will talk about betrayal, but she is the leading doctor on betrayal. She has so much scientific information you guys if youBrad Crowell 0:57  TED talks, education from stage, workshops. She's an institute. Lesley Logan 1:23  If anyone in your life is like act like reacting to being betrayed in their life and other things that they're doing and they keep going well, I had this extra do this thing. Holy fricking moly, send them the episode. It was so informative, so good. And it's like, it's I mean, we'll get we'll get into it in a second. Anyways, today is April 4th, and it's School Librarian Day. Okay. Of course we're gonna highlight this day because we're all about the books on this podcast. So about this day, the day is observed to recognize the professionals who keep school libraries well-stocked in the books in perfect order. School librarians, I'm just gonna say, also librarians, if you're a public school public librarian this is you too, your school librarians spend long hours keeping the library organized, they also, they're also likely to be the first people to help students find the resources they need to learn. Pause. Yes, so many librarians I've heard on the news in the last year are the only safe person to suggest books to a lot of people. Anyways, they also encourage students pursue reading outside of academic text. School librarians are also responsible for creating an environment where students are motivated to learn. Their work is truly an accomplishment. With that said, if you didn't already know this, in 2024 OPC is supporting the nonprofit organization the Wheat Penny press and their program Little Readers Big Change along with Be It podcast, Rebekah Borucki, who runs it with every dollar spent so all you OPC members out there just know that you are part of providing free and low-cost books programming and funding for the creative arts to our most vulnerable communities and their most talented members. Thank you for being an OPC member and thank you for supporting reading. And we had Danny Brassel on who talked about like how he helps kids want to read and it's about giving them books that they actually want to read.Brad Crowell 3:06  That was a fun episode. Lesley Logan 3:07  I know. With Nick Hutchison coming up soon it's gonna be about how The Rise of the Reader. Brad Crowell 3:13  Jake Kelfer. Lesley Logan 3:13  Well, Jake Kelfer is for the writers. Brad Crowell 3:15  Yeah, but, books.Lesley Logan 3:16  And then, Nick is actually you're gonna learn how to retain what you're reading. Danny Brassel helps you get your kids reading and Rebekah Borucki who was recently a guest holy freaking moly, she is making sure that what we're reading is like making change. So. Brad Crowell 3:31  Pretty rad.Lesley Logan 3:32  You guys. Brad Crowell 3:32  Well, anyway, a sincere heartfelt thank you to all the OPC members out there. We love being able to donate to different causes. And we change, each year we pick a new cause and we get to donate throughout the year. And so we're really fired up to be supporting Little Readers Big Change along with you.Lesley Logan 3:54  Along with you. And you know, like support your local library. Brad's cousin is a librarian and she is like, all about like, getting me on Libby getting me to go get my library card and all that stuff. So like, support the libraries, they're really amazing and it's just, you know, look, you don't need to scroll so much. So anyway, okay. Brad Crowell 4:14  Read a book. Lesley Logan 4:15  This afternoon. So if you happen to listen to this in the morning, when it drops, you can still sign up for the Studio Growth Accelerator which is for Pilates teachers and studio owners who are ready to make some changes in their business and who want to learn and also work on your business. So you're going to get information and integrate it. Brad Crowell 4:32  We're going to be running through the proprietary Accel formula. A-C-C-E- L. Short for accelerator, y'all. Basically, we're going to we're going to really dig into how do you bring new clients in, how do you work with those clients to make them champions for your business so that they go out into the world and share your business with their relationships and it's going to be amazing. So if you're looking to jumpstart the growth of your studio, this is a great way to do it. Join me this afternoon there will be a three-day replay and if you missed it that's okay if you listen to this late, just DM us because you know we'll get you on the waitlist for the next time. The next one. Okay? PRfit.biz/accelerator. PRfit.biz/accelerator. Lesley Logan 5:19  And if you listen to last week's episode you understand that spelling accelerator is two Cs, one O. Brad Crowell 5:24  Hence the Accel... Lesley Logan 5:26  Well excel you could spell with an EBrad Crowell 5:28  ...programs. No, no. That's excel. This is accel. A-C-C-E-L-E-R-A-T-O-R. Well.Lesley Logan 5:35  Okay. Summer Camp. Okay, so I was, the time we tell the team when we're designing summer camp I'm like think American hot summer like, get like look up. Brad Crowell 5:46  What is it? What? Hot American Summer (inaudible).Lesley Logan 5:48  I was like, look up look at what Christopher Maloney is wearing. I want Brad to dress like that for the Zoom calls. Like I want people to have hot shorts. I want Elizabeth Banks like I Brad Crowell 5:59  Bradley Cooper was in there. Lesley Logan 6:00  Everybody who was in this show. (inaudible) I want, so here's the thing, the way I see summer camp for OPC is all the best parts of summer camp without the bunks, bunk beds.Brad Crowell 6:13  Without the bugs. Lesley Logan 6:14  Without the bugs, without the travel. Brad Crowell 6:16  Without the mean girls. Lesley Logan 6:18  Without the mean girls or the weird people or you know the shit food. So you can wear whatever you want, you can be off camera if you want, you can actually sign up and watch it later because you'll have lifetime access to the replays. But you do want Brad Crowell 6:32  That's a big event for us, y'all. This is not like two workshops. This is going to be like potentially like all-day events, two days in a row. Lesley Logan 6:39  It could be like, we're looking at potentially up to 14 or 16 events in two days. Brad Crowell 6:45  Crazy. Lesley Logan 6:46  We've been planning this for over a year because y'all loved summer camp so much last year, we had like the best time with summer camp. And so we are actually promoting early because we want as many people to be able to do summer camp with us. I'm like I want camp counselor shirts. I want the whole thing. So OPC.me/workshops. The reason why we want you on the waitlist even though you're like, Lesley, (inaudible) later. Correct. But if you're on the waitlist, you get the second-best prices of the early bird. The people who get the best best prices are those OPC members who are helping Little Readers Big Change. So, you want to be an OPC member to get the best earlybird. Second best is the workshop waitlist. Third best is hearing from the public. And fourth best is full price.Brad Crowell 7:29  Fourth best, fourth best.Lesley Logan 7:31  Okay. OPC.me/workshops. Also, Cambodia. As you mentioned in last week's episode, Brad. Brad thinks it's sold out. It's possible that it's sold out by now because it's April 4th, but we did schedule already and pick our dates for February 2025. Holy fricking moly, it's gonna be so fun. Like I said last week, best sunrises are in the February time and it's just before the weather gets hot. So you want to go to crowsnestretreats.com, crowsnestretreats.com to snag your early bird rate for February 2025.Brad Crowell 8:07  Yeah, join us it's gonna be amazing. I am so excited.Lesley Logan 8:11  I'm so excited. Oh my gosh, our October retreat, the people who are coming on this are freaking so excited. One of our girls is coming for the second year in a row. We've, because we've made some changes and like it's so fun. And we've got some eLevate members coming. We've got some OPC members coming. We've got some people we've never met coming and it's just gonna be a freaking blast. Brad Crowell 8:29  It's going to be amazing. Lesley Logan 8:28  So amazing. So, crowsnestretreats.com if you are wanting to come, if you're like Lesley when are you doing a retreat somewhere else? I don't have the time. I want to go there. And you can join at my house, come to my house. I would love to do a retreat somewhere else but I'm just going to tell you right now, the amount of work that goes into putting the retreat on that is an amazing, unforgettable experience is something you I can never express I could never actually share. And so while I would love to do a retreat somewhere else, I also would love one, of the reasons we did Cambodia retreat is because I think it's really, really important to see places in the world you might never see and a lot of places where people go on retreats just feel like a like America-like. And I really enjoy so immersing myself in a culture that's so uniquely different than my own. And seeing things that like it's just takes you out of your normal routine. You're 12 hours to 15 hours ahead. So like you are just really out of your routine. It's not the same timezone as your family like, I really love to get out and just be in a, in the village like being around other people and how the world is so different there.Brad Crowell 9:15  It's a transformational experience. I mean, I truly believe that when we have the opportunity to experience cultures that are not our own. It changes our perspective in a way that allows us to be more empathetic, more kind to others, more excited for other people, because they're people too, doing life the way they do life and it's different than the way that we do life but it allows this polarization that's happening in our, you know, in American society about others, like, you know, those other people, they're bad or something. You know, it allows you to see another culture in a way that is like, whoa, totally different than how we do things. But they're fucking great people, too.Brad Crowell 9:35  Oh, yeah. I mean, it also helps you vote with others in mind. Just a thought. Okay. So go do that. Come with us. Okay. And don't forget.Brad Crowell 10:36  If you love a good challenge and you're looking for one that's a four-weeker.Lesley Logan 10:40  You want to do my challenges. Come on, guys. The reformer challenge and mat challenge are available anytime. Which, I'm telling you, this is your prompt to sign up now. At OPC.me/challenge. Just pick the challenge you want. They are, it's the first week's 10 minutes, the second week's, 20 minutes. The third week is 30 minutes. And the fourth biggest (inaudible), 40 minutes. You see how that goes. Brad Crowell 11:01  Is that how it works? Lesley Logan 11:02  Yeah. And so, I want you to all do it, I want you to have some fun. I want you to get it out of your head and into your body. I want you to do it imperfectly. I had someone say, Ah, this is too fast. And I said, Great. Do it slower and just skip half the exercises. It's not about being perfect, you don't have to look like me. You don't have to do it like me, I even tell you to replace what you can't do with what you can. Pilates is the thing that helps you realize like how you talk and treat yourself. You are allowed to be imperfect and to be in process. And that's what this challenge is all about. It's super fun to learn how to do habits while doing it. So, OPC.me/challenge.Brad Crowell 11:36  Yeah. And you can pick either the mat or the reformer. How about that? Lesley Logan 11:39  How about that? Brad Crowell 11:40  Alright. So we had an audience question. And it was from Michelle. She said hi, I'm in a teacher training program that doesn't feel like it's giving me enough information and I'd love to learn from more from you about how to teach. Is OPC your only option? Lesley Logan 11:57  Yeah. Brad Crowell 11:57  And I just want to say first off, I'm sorry that you're in a program that isn't meeting your needs. And clearly, as a student, if you're going what the hell I expected more. That sucks. Lesley Logan 12:08  Yeah, so it sucks. I got this from our customer service team. And first of all, this is exactly why I wrote my book Profitable Pilates: Everything But the Exercises. And the unfortunate thing is, I don't think as many people get it before they choose a program. They get it after they choose a program. So I'll work on that. But a lot of programs have a lot to be (inaudible). And it's also just want to say to any teacher trainees listening, it is not totally your fault. In fact, it's probably not even your fault. You might be doing someone else's program. But the other thing is, is like we are an unregulated industry, the Pilates industry is unregulated, meaning that your massage therapist, do you all know, if you're living in the States, your nail technician had to take a state exam, like literally had to take a state exam for you to complain about a $15 pedicure, they had to take a state exam. And in the Pilates industry, there is an organization that has created an exam so you can be truly certified. But there's no, there's no regulation in this country. And that means people can create a training program. And there's something great about that you could just create a training program if you want one, and you need teachers. But when there's regulations, there are things like refund policies, there are ways that you can complain about the company, you can be treated with respect, they can't abuse you, things like that. So a lot of programs do have a lot (inaudible). And here's the other reason. Even if it's the best program in the world, when you're a new teacher, you cannot learn as much as you think. It's so much information. Brad Crowell 13:43  It's overwhelm. Lesley Logan 13:43  It is so much information, which is why everyone ends up doing a second training, which yes means you spend more money. So look, I really do feel free, Michelle, I love this question. You're not the only person to ask me something similar in the exact same week. So here's the deal. OPC is not the only option to learn from me, but OPC is the most affordable option. So I teach at least half the classes on OPC every single month. And we have themes. And if you like seeing how I connect exercises to exercises, take class with me. That's how it works. And guess what, take class with other teachers on OPC. They do the exact same, too and they do it with different body types. And that is so important. So please, please, please and $79 a month is not cheap, but it's not expensive. And if you are a teacher, it's a write-off. You can put it as your education. Brad Crowell 14:30  Education and training, y'all.Lesley Logan 14:32  So all the more reason to not be a sole profit, that's a different story. If you are wanting more you're actually wanting to learn with me. Right? There's a from and there's a with. That would be eLevate, which is our mentorship program. As we were recording this, we just wrapped day one of weekend two. It's another investment. I'm gonna be really honest. It is another investment that's on purpose. I want you to show up for you. And I only want to have 12 people in a group. So in order to dedicate over all the five weekends and tons of calls and all the time on one-on-one calls with you, it is an investment, but it is an option. So you can go to lesleylogan.co/elevate to get on the waitlist, we're probably going to open up applications for 2025 really soon. And we're really excited we have so many people who want 2025, we'll probably open up applications. And then based on who applies and who gets accepted, we will pick the times of the days we already have the weekends picked because we have the retreat picked. But I just want to say to anyone listening to this, Pilates teacher who just feels like their first training program didn't teach them enough. Let's just let it go. Just let it go. Just pretend that they did the best they can with what they had. You did the best you could with what you had. And that and just know that I did three training programs. So there you go. Brad Crowell 15:50  There you go.Lesley Logan 15:53  And it's because you can only take in so much. And then you have to go teach and you realize what doesn't work and you teach again, anyways.Brad Crowell 16:03  Well, Michelle, thanks for asking that. If you have a question for us. Just reach out, you can DM us on the pod on Instagram, you can hit up our Customer Support Chat. You can text us, all the things, however you want to reach out. Just ping us and you know, we might include your question on the pod. Okay, let's talk about Dr. Debi Silber. Debi Silber PhD, founder of the PBT Institute, a Pilates expertise in health and personal developments, to her innovative Post Betrayal Transformation Program. Drawing on her own experiences and extensive research, she has developed groundbreaking strategies for overcoming and fully healing from betrayal. And her groundbreaking strategies that she came up with, they went viral, like it was like a big deal. Like boom, that's what like really allowed her to shift into this role, you know, full-time. Lesley Logan 16:58  I, when I heard about her, I was like, Oh my God. We have to talk about this because I think we talked about other things that are around relationships, family, grief, all these other things, sex, all this stuff. But betrayal, I mean, and so maybe some of those episodes, you should go back and listen to after hearing this because if you have experienced betrayal Brad Crowell 17:19  Puts a different lens on. Lesley Logan 17:20  You may have hated what they said. Brad Crowell 17:24  Sure. Lesley Logan 17:25  Anyways, Okay, my turn. Brad Crowell 17:26  Yeah. Lesley Logan 17:27  One of the things I love is that we actually talked about how betrayal is a different type of trauma than death, disease or natural disaster. And I think it's easy to put betrayal in kind of like those same experiences of trauma. But she says it feels intentional snd we take it personally. And our entire Brad Crowell 17:44  Betrayal feels intentional. Lesley Logan 17:45  Yes, it feels intentional. And sometimes it might not even be, it might be all about them. But probably is, but our entire self gets shattered and requires rebuilding. She said rejection, abandonment, belonging, confidence, worthyness and trust, these are all demolished and have to be rebuilt. So if you have been betrayed, and you just feel like you are left, like, like an open wound and just shattered, you have and it's, it's not like you just rebuild a house or you like you just start dating someone else, or you go through a grieving process and remember them on special days, like it's, can be really difficult. Brad Crowell 17:46  Yeah, well, she talks about her five phases, which, you know, the best thing to do is to go back through, we're going to cover, we're going to cover four of the five phases a little bit later on in the pod. But, you know, she said something really interesting. She said, you don't outgrow betrayal. Like it's and she has the scientific proof to demonstrate that. Lesley Logan 18:56  Meaning if like you were (inaudible).Brad Crowell 18:58  Time doesn't heal all.Lesley Logan 18:59  And you feel like you're betrayed by your parents. You know, just like become an adult and you're good. Lesley Logan 19:04  Right, right. She was specifically talking about grief and time and the way that we talk about that societaly. Lesley Logan 19:11  She especially said time, she said time heals all wounds, but does not, that does not apply to betrayal. And she said healing needs to be deliberate and intentional. Like you actually have to be deliberate and intentional with your healing.Brad Crowell 19:23  Yeah, the you know, and so what's great is that she also has a process, she goes through, like, how does that happen? How do you do that? Right, but I just found that really, really intriguing because she's not just talking about divorce, you know, she could be talking about family, parents, siblings, best friends, you know. Lesley Logan 19:44  It could be a coworker.Brad Crowell 19:45  Yeah. She actually talked about her, your boss, and I was like, wow, that's crazy. I didn't even realize that, you know, I've been definitely betrayed at work in my old job and I was really hurt by that. You know, but I today like, you know, a couple years later, I just didn't even think about it until let's say this conversation, I was like, oh my god, that was me too. You know, so I, you know, there's a lot of context for betrayal in our lives. And she said, the amount of betrayal really depends on how close you are to the person on how close how much you allow them to weigh into your life.Lesley Logan 20:22  I agree. Because like, if you're betrayed by a coworker, that you saw Monday through Friday, a little bit each day, that is going to be hard and shattering. But if you switch jobs or get them out of your life, it's different than like a spouse or a parent because like they're, it's interesting, like I was listening to something recently, where if, like, certain breakups can feel so hard, because it's not that you're grieving the break up of the past, but also the future that you had with them. And if a betrayal is someone where there's a future that you had seen yourself going down with them, you discussed with them. That is also, that's part of the shatter that you're going through, because your future has also changed. What you thought was possible has changed. Brad Crowell 21:13  Yeah. Yeah, that's a that's a really fascinating point as well. You know.Lesley Logan 21:21  Now that I think about it, I feel like maybe there are people in my life who thinks I betrayed them, too. So now, I just felt like a little bit of a dick. It wasn't on purpose. I hope they don't think that but anyway, you know, I'm thinking about the person like what the way I, I don't think I always say like, I don't really think I did a great job breaking up with my ex, because I never broken up with anyone. And like, I'm sure they felt very betrayed in that moment. And I didn't know like, I was just like, no, we're just breaking up because I don't think we love each other that much. And one of the ways that I wanted to make sure that they didn't feel betrayed was like, I went through with the court proceedings we had against a family member of theirs, and I pretended to still be together. But I'm sure that felt like a massive betrayal to them, you know. And so now I think back, like, no wonder they were so shattered. And, you know, when that was all over, so I think it's really interesting. Like, it's even in your kindness, or most thought-out ways of doing things you can accidentally make someone feel betrayed.Lesley Logan 21:22  That's interesting. I definitely hadn't thought of that. I mean, for me, it was the other way around.Lesley Logan 21:35  I mean, you're so perfect, Brad, you've not even betrayed anyone. Brad Crowell 22:30  I sure have. Lesley Logan 22:31  I mean, you did quit your own band.Brad Crowell 22:34  That's betrayal. That totally is, you know, like, we, that's true. And that's a good way, that's a good thing to point out. And like, I wasn't trying to let down who's one of the people in my life, who was one of my best friends, you know, and we still, you know, but also, like, I've had business relationships go bad. I've had, you know, just life, right? Life's life is what we like to say. But still, no matter what the circumstance is, there is a sense of betrayal that can be felt by one party or the other, whether it's as dramatic as a breakup or a divorce. Or as you know, you know, like, hey, this, this program is over, I'm out, and then the person is no longer in your life anymore. Lesley Logan 23:15  Well, it's also interesting, okay, off-topic, but like, I'm just also thinking, like, for some of the things where I am, like thinking back, like maybe they felt very betrayed by me in that same moment, I also felt very betrayed by them. So it's so fascinating how it could be like, an equal betrayed experience.Brad Crowell 23:33  Well, yeah, I think I think that's.Lesley Logan 23:34  Now you have our back and it's (inaudible) explain that. Brad Crowell 23:37  Well, I think it's important to point that out, right? Like, because there's a reason that you chose to leave that relationship. And it was because promises were made and not kept. And so sure, it totally makes sense that you would also feel betrayed in that moment, which then was betrayal enough to cause you to take action, right? We're gonna talk about this. I'll talk about what I really loved about her after I say this with my you know, when my ex and I got a divorce, and then you and I started dating. The story that we've put out there is that I broke up with you two times. I mean, I literally did this so it's it's not a not a fake story. But we told everyone, we shared that I broke up with you twice and. Lesley Logan 24:17  People hate when we tell the story. They get so mad at Brad. Brad Crowell 24:20  They get so mad at me. Lesley Logan 24:21  They get so mad but he doesn't share.Brad Crowell 24:23  Well, I don't really share I wait till a certain point in the story to talk about why I did that for dramatic effect. But the reality of it is when you're listening to last episode and you're talking about the different stages that you know of moving through betrayal you know that Dr. Silber has created, I was almost stuck in one phase and that phase was like it was a keeping me where I was and I was operating out of fear and the fear was effectively I felt so betrayed so hurt by my ex, that I was almost unwilling to ever even put myself in the position again, to be betrayed in that manner. Right? Which is why when things started to get real, I was like, I got to get the fuck out. Like, I can't handle this, this is too much for me. I can't do it. I don't want to be hurt that way again. Right? And so I've never really thought of my divorce as betrayal. That term never came into my mind. But thinking about it now, I definitely felt betrayed.Lesley Logan 25:31  I mean, also, I think so. Because I think that like, how could you not feel betrayed? You thought you guys would be together forever. Like, there's a lot. There's, I mean, I think like, anyone who hears your story would go, Oh, my God, I felt so betrayed, which is why they stop hating you at that point in the story and start loving you.Brad Crowell 25:47  You know, on the introspective side, I wonder if I wonder how she felt betrayed. You know, and I don't actually. Lesley Logan 25:55  Okay, so now we have to talk. Okay, Melissa, we have to have Dr. Silber back, because now I need to know if people who are betrayed if the betrayer also felt betrayed, I need the studies. Brad Crowell 26:06  Yeah, I'm really interested in this.Lesley Logan 26:07  Melissa are you listening? Does she listen? Brad Crowell 26:11  Well, okay, so, you know, moving on here. She also, Dr. Silber, Debi, also said she looks at betrayal as an opportunity to completely catapult yourself to a level that you never thought was even possible. And I, you know, she said something really interesting about this, that I, you know, that sounds like, you know, just, you know, polish it up and make it like, you know, look good, feel good, whatever. But she was actually the story that she gave was, she had, she was always talking to herself, like talking down to herself. And, you know, because she would get lost. So she doesn't, you know, she's not good at following directions, or whatever, and would like end up someplace and be like, fucking lost again, I'm such an idio. I can't believe it. What's wrong with me. Right? And so the story that she's telling herself is like, you're bad at this, like, how come you always mess this up? And she reframed that in a way that allowed her to completely catapult herself to a new level that she never thought was possible by shifting the way that she talked to herself and saying, that is just adorable. You did it again. You know, and think about that, like, you're still probably frustrated with yourself, but you're not berating yourself and beating yourself up.Lesley Logan 27:36  Yeah, I think that's so important. Even if you've never been betrayed, like, Guys, we talk about this all the time at OPC, you have to like how you talk to yourself matters. It really does. Forget matters. It can literally change your day from being amazing and feeling happy to like, being depressed. And feel like a failure all the time. Anyways. Brad Crowell 27:57  Well, I mean, you know, we talk about speaking into existence and be it till you see it. You know, when you reframe the story, you're telling yourself it, it lends itself to creating an entirely new version of you, right, and then, as you have this positive self-talk and you're treating yourself with respect, you start to take a look at all the parts of you that you love, and you start to leave behind the things that no longer serve you, right, and then you start to not tolerate that negative part of yourself anymore, and it just shifts you, it changes you. And so, you know, it really, it's a really interesting, it's a really interesting idea, and I think it's worth pursuing you know? Lesley Logan 28:39  I love it. Brad Crowell 28:40  Alright, so finally, let's talk about those Be It Action Items. What bold, executable, intrinsic or targeted action items can we take away from your convo with Dr. Debi Silber? So she's talked about these stages. There are five predictable stages. And we didn't actually apparently cover the fifth stage. So I don't actually know what that is. But the first four.Lesley Logan 29:01  Another reason to have Dr. Silber back.Brad Crowell 29:03  The first four are the four table legs, right? She talks about the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual side of recovering from betrayal. And she said most people focus on the mental and the physical, or actually, I think she said the mental and the emotional. But she said there's two that people focus on most, they don't really focus on the other two sides. And so you're not creating a stable foundation. So that's stage one. And stage two is shock, trauma and D-Day or discovery day. This is the scariest of all the stages. It's a breakdown of the body, the mind the worldview, where you've gotten this news, you have a stressful response, which leads to you know, basically, chaos right? Chaos in your mind, chaos in life. Step three, then you shift into survival instinct, where you're grabbing anything or anyone to stay safe and alive. You're, you shift into practicality. We were referring to it a couple of weeks ago as fifth gear, you know as shit hits the fan, go up into fifth gear, you gotta power through figure it out, you're, you never leave time for yourself, you're always operating at this, like, where's when is the other shoe gonna drop whatever analogy you want to do. And she said, that's actually the most common place to be stuck in. And that's so that's stage three. Stage four is finding and adjusting to the new normal. Right? So now that like, life has shifted, after the chaos and like really the go, go, go of stage three, you know, can you downshift can you get back into stage into a place that isn't quite as high-strung, intense, anxiety, you know, anxiety-driven, all those kinds of things. She said, most people get stuck in stage three. So that said, going back to our Be It Actions here, she said if you are stuck in stage three, you should write these four questions down. Number one. Am I numbing or avoiding distractions? You need to call yourself on it like call yourself on the walk to the refrigerator when you're opening the door, even though you're not hungry. Call yourself on the TV, you know, because you're desperately trying to drown out other sound the sound of your own thoughts. You know, what are you doing to distract yourself? Is it video games? Is it drinking? Is it? You know, running? Is it? I don't know what it is, you know. There's this lots of different opportunities. You know, the second question, what am I trying not to see? What am I trying not to see? Again, call yourself on it, such as that health issue that needs my attention. The relationship issue that I'm avoiding. The job that I absolutely hate, you know, there's avoidance, right is probably a pretty good indicator. And you know, it's hard, it's hard to address these things you're avoiding. You know, but it's the thing you're trying not to see, right? So number three, what is life going to look like in five or 10 years? If I continue to do the actions that I'm currently doing today?Lesley Logan 32:09  That's a hard oh my god, oh.Brad Crowell 32:12  Yeah. You know, like, I think I remember, I remember, when I was going through my divorce, I decided to just start drinking. And, you know, I was drinking a lot. And I was feeling like garbage the next day when I would go into work. And after a few months, it was bad enough that I was like, Okay, I pretty much hate the way I feel i can't function. And if I keep down this road, I didn't think five or 10 years later, I literally thought like, in two more months, I'm gonna be toast like I can't do this anymore. And that, that was like a really interesting, like introspective moment that where I was interested in making a change, you know? So I think this question is helpful to be reflective on yourself, what is life gonna look like in five to 10 years? And then number four, is what can life look like, in five or 10 years, if I make a change today? So that's a really encouraging one, that's a really exciting one, it helps you see the future, see the vision of what could be for you if you're going to make a change in your life today. So, you know, when you're stuck in stage three, you know, which is again, survival mode, basically. You know, these are four questions that you can help, you know, ask yourself to help you shift through it.Lesley Logan 33:40  Yeah, I had a Be It Action Item about repeat betrayal, repeat betrayal. So this is if you like, find like you keep getting betrayed. She said you are lovable, worthy, and deserving. But she also said, for the Be It Action, you need better boundaries in place. And we talk about this a lot with the people that we coach, which is like you train people how to treat you, which are boundaries. And I just want to say, just because we say that doesn't mean people won't betray you. But I do think you will feel it differently if you had better boundaries in place. Because you will probably see it before. Like, there's just you might be able to like you won't feel like it's happening to you. So I don't know, I could be wrong, Debi, you can tell me. But the reality is.Brad Crowell 34:31  You did talk about this because you asked her like, hey, you know, if I get betrayed again, do I have to go back to stage three? Lesley Logan 34:39  Yeah, yeah. So she said you need better boundaries in place and she's like, unless there's a benefit in learning the hard way. And she, she said as a targeted step, you can identify areas lacking boundaries or reflect on aspects of your life where boundaries are weak or nonexistent and set boundaries in place. And here's the deal guys. Guess what? When you put boundaries in place where there wasn't one, people might feel betrayed by that. You need to understand. Brad Crowell 35:08  It's possible. Lesley Logan 35:09  It's true like for my teachers who are listening, if you never charge for late cancels and you start charging for late cancels, people gonna be pissed. Because you didn't do it before. You have to own that you weren't doing that before. And you have to say, I understand. You don't have to apologize. I understand this change sucks. But this is business, I got to do it. If you have friends, if you have friends or family members who walk all over you, you know, and you start to like, stand up for yourself. They're gonna feel upset about that. They might even feel betrayed that you've changed. Yeah, how dare you? How dare you. Iliza Shlesinger will say on her podcast, you guys, I love her podcast if you know Iliza, I want her on the pod, like I didn't ask her because she just had a baby. But like, yes, I do. Because I mean, what a be it till you see it woman, but she is saying, she always says we have to be comfortable making people as uncomfortable as they have made us.Brad Crowell 36:01  Right. Lesley Logan 36:02  And so. Brad Crowell 36:04  That's fucking hard to do.Lesley Logan 36:08  She says that too. She's like, I know I tell you to do it doesn't mean I do it. But it's so here's the thing. Like, if you are feeling like people are overstepping boundaries that you haven't enforced, they're making you uncomfortable. And so you're going to enforce them which will make them feel uncomfortable. But you they've been making you feel uncomfortable, you have to be comfortable making them feel as uncomfortable as they make you. And another person I'm gonna quote is Lori Harder, which is like, we can't take away other people's rock bottom. So we cannot take away the lessons people need to learn. And sometimes it sucks to be the lesson someone has to learn. But that you are allowed to have boundaries that allow you to do this life better because I always say this, this is me quoting me. You are the only person who can do what you do the way that you do it. And if you burn out, if you are lost, if you feel stuck, the world loses your amazingness. And to have people like to have to be as amazing as I am. There are boundaries in place, y'all. There are and it's not always perfect. It's not always easy, and sometimes it offends people in ways that I didn't intend. Sometimes I have to go oh, shit, I didn't fucking think that would happen. Thank you for letting me know. Here's how it was intended. Here is how, like let's talk about it. Brad Crowell 37:30  I'm gonna, I'm gonna quote me. Fuck yeah.Lesley Logan 37:33  Yeah. So anyways, I'm Lesley Logan. Brad Crowell 37:36  And I'm Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 37:37  Clearly we're gonna have Dr. Debi Silber back. Thanks, team for already asking her. Thank you for joining us today. How are you going to use these tips in your life we want to know. We want to know. Share this with a friend who needs it. Share this with a friend who's constantly feeling betrayed that you just want to give a little shake, shake to and little tough love to. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Brad Crowell 37:58  Bye for now. Lesley Logan 38:00  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day. Lesley Logan 38:28  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 38:43  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 38:48  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 38:52  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 38:59  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 39:03  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Life of Love a Joyful Guide to Self and Sensuality
Betrayal A Nasty Vampire of Joy

Life of Love a Joyful Guide to Self and Sensuality

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2024 34:34 Transcription Available


Have you ever felt like a betrayal left a lasting scar on your soul? This week's Life of Love episode features Debi  Silber, the beacon of hope for anyone who's faced the sting of deceit. She's not just the founder of National Forgiveness Day and the 'From Betrayal to Breakthrough' podcast host; she's a living testament to the power of overcoming the darkest of times. Join us as she takes us through her journey of personal pain and how it fueled her mission to help others heal, transforming their deepest wounds into sources of strength.Betrayal can sneak up and shatter our world, but healing doesn't have to be a solitary struggle. Through my conversation with Debi, we unveil the unrecognized Post-Betrayal Syndrome, a condition affecting countless individuals, as evidenced by her research on over 95,000 people. With Debi guiding us through the five stages of healing, we shed light on the journey from the initial shock to a place of newfound wisdom and peace. It's a roadmap for anyone searching for the light at the end of the tunnel, proving that the path to recovery, while complex, is lined with predictable milestones.Our heart-to-heart doesn't stop at identifying the problem; it's about constructing a brighter future post-betrayal. We contemplate the art of mending and redefining relationships, starting with the one we have with ourselves. The poignant stories shared, including my own tale of re-marriage, serve as powerful examples of how boundaries, self-reflection, and a dose of transpersonal psychology can lead us from victimhood to a life brimming with vibrancy and true happiness. So, tune in, and let's embark on this transformative journey together, with Debi's wisdom and the support of the PBT Institute lighting the way. https://thepbtinstitute.com/Support the showLink to Support this Channel: https://www.buzzsprout.com/2153284/supporters/newJulie's Book: https://amzn.to/3K2ZS05Julie's Website for more information, comments or requests: https://lifeofloveandjoy.comPromo Code for Free Audio Book on Audible: https://amzn.to/45YUMdHMy Book: Life of Love a Joyful Guide to Self and Sensuality

Femme Parler Podcast
Dr. Debi Silber: Healing From Betrayal

Femme Parler Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 4, 2024 53:04


In this episode, Sherley speaks with Holistic Psychologist, Dr. Debi Silber and Founder of PBT® (Post Betrayal Transformation®) Institute. Dr. Debi has studied betrayal and made healing from betrayal her profession. Featured on TedX, CBS, Glamour, SELF, WebMD, and more, Dr. Debi means business and she wants you to know it. What holds us back? What helps us heal? Why is betrayal traumatic? How do we rebuild ourselves and our lives after betrayal? Dr. Debi has the answers to all of these questions and more.  Transparency with children when infidelity is involved, creating healthy habits, not getting stuck in certain stages of our healing journeys, and more are discussed in this episode. This is one episode you may have to listen to again and again as you continue to move through your stages of healing. As Dr. Debi says, you owe it to yourself to heal. So let's begin. For more, read Dr. Debi's book, TRUST AGAIN or visit, thepbtinstitute.com. Join Our Facebook Community Femme Parler Website https://femmeparler.libsyn.com/rss feedback@femmeparler.com

Be It Till You See It
349. How To Rebuild And Transform Yourself After Betrayal

Be It Till You See It

Play Episode Listen Later Apr 2, 2024 42:33


In this insightful episode, Debi Silber, PhD and founder of the PBT Institute, shares her expertise on overcoming the profound effects of betrayal. Drawing from personal experiences and her groundbreaking research, Silber unveils the stages of Post Betrayal Transformation, offering hope and actionable strategies for healing. Discover the connections between betrayal, health, and personal growth, and learn how to reconstruct a stronger, more resilient self after trust is shattered.If you have any questions about this episode or want to get some of the resources we mentioned, head over to LesleyLogan.co/podcast. If you have any comments or questions about the Be It pod shoot us a message at beit@lesleylogan.co. And as always, if you're enjoying the show please share it with someone who you think would enjoy it as well. It is your continued support that will help us continue to help others. Thank you so much! Never miss another show by subscribing at LesleyLogan.co/subscribe.In this episode you will learn about:The psychological differences between betrayal and other traumas.Key discoveries from Dr. Debi Silber's studies on betrayal.The PBT Institute's approach to facilitating stages of overcoming betrayal.Strategies for strengthening personal boundaries to prevent future betrayals.The importance of addressing betrayal at its root for true healing.Episode References/Links:The PBT InstituteDebi Silber TikTok  Debi Silber Facebook Debi Silber X.comDebi Silber LinkedinDebi Silber InstagramDebi Silber YouTubeGuest Bio:Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert, the author of Trust Again, and is a 2-time #1 International bestselling author of: The Unshakable Woman AND From Hardened to Healed. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice) and more, she's an award-winning speaker and coach dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most.  If you enjoyed this episode, make sure and give us a five star rating and leave us a review on iTunes, Podcast Addict, Podchaser or Castbox. DEALS! Check out all our Preferred Vendors & Special Deals from Clair Sparrow, Sensate, Lyfefuel BeeKeeper's Naturals, Sauna Space, HigherDose, AG1 and ToeSox Be in the know with all the workshops at OPCBe It Till You See It Podcast SurveyBe a part of Lesley's Pilates MentorshipFREE Ditching Busy Webinarhttps://  Resources:Watch the Be It Till You See It podcast on YouTube!Lesley Logan websiteBe It Till You See It PodcastOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley LoganOnline Pilates Classes by Lesley Logan on YouTubeProfitable Pilates Follow Us on Social Media:InstagramFacebookLinkedIn  Episode Transcript:Debi Silber 0:00  We actually discovered that there's this collection of symptoms, physical, mental and emotional, so common to betrayal, it's now known as post betrayal syndrome. And it what's so interesting is we've had I don't know easily 95,000 plus people take our post betrayal syndrome quiz on our site, to see to what extent they're struggling. We've all been taught time heals all wounds. I have the proof that when it comes to betrayal, that's not true.Lesley Logan 0:27  Welcome to the Be It Till You See It podcast where we talk about taking messy action, knowing that perfect is boring. I'm Lesley Logan, Pilates instructor and fitness business coach. I've trained thousands of people around the world and the number one thing I see stopping people from achieving anything is self-doubt. My friends, action brings clarity and it's the antidote to fear. Each week, my guest will bring bold, executable, intrinsic and targeted steps that you can use to put yourself first and Be It Till You See It. It's a practice, not a perfect. Let's get started.  Lesley Logan 1:09  Okay, I got some hot topic and this is gonna feel a little juicy but maybe not at all, actually. But, when I discovered today's guest and what they talk about, I was like, oh, yeah, we have not talked about this not in a high-level way. We've definitely had guests come on, who have shared how they're betrayed in their life, and then how they've made it to where they are today just inspire you to be it till you see it. But we've actually never had a like expert on the topic of betrayal. And I really enjoyed it. I feel like I just went to a whole study class on betrayal. I feel like I'm really aware of it. And I already have three people I want to share this episode. It's not even ready yet. I just I'm like literally finished recording it. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I have to send this to this person, I have to send this to this person. And so my hope is, is that today's episode, betrayal not only educates you. And maybe what you're going through what's keeping you from being until you see it is an old betrayal. And that can really suck to admit to, you know, like to, to think that like 20 years ago, something happened to you and you haven't yet healed from that. And I just to make sure you know that that's okay. You're not the only one. You're not the first person. You're not the last person. But hopefully with today's guest, Dr. Debi Silber, we can start to heal. And we can all go from a place of being betrayed and wanting to take over our lives to actually making it make our lives right where they can be. And so this episode goes through a lot of statistics, a lot of information as symptoms you might be feeling in your life that could all be from a betrayal in your life and also the ways you can get out of it. So I'm really excited for this episode. I think it's gonna be really awesome. And again, I do think it's one of those ones you're gonna share with your friends right now because I'm about to send this information to mine. So have an amazing day and I cannot wait to hear your takeaways. And here's Dr. Debi Silber. Lesley Logan 3:09  All right, Be It babe. I'm really excited for today's topic. Actually, I don't think we've even discussed this topic on the podcast and it is 100% aligned, aligned with us being until we see it. So we have Dr. Debi Silber, here. She is an amazing person who has truly forged her own path and is helping people on the topic of betrayal. So Dr. Debi Silber, will you please introduce yourself and tell everyone who you are and what you rock at?Debi Silber 3:33  Sure, looking forward to this conversation. So I am the founder and CEO of the PBT Post Betrayal Transformation Institute, I mean, clearly you don't study something like betrayal unless you have to. So I'm in business over 30 years - health, mindset, personal development, and then I had a really painful betrayal from my family thought I did everything I needed to do to heal from that. And then it happened again, a few years later, this time it was my husband, that was the deal breaker got him out of the house, looked at the two experiences thinking well, what's similar to these two, of course, me, but what else? And I realized, you know, boundaries, were always getting crossed, never took my lead seriously. And I am one of those people that believes if nothing changes, nothing changes. So here it was four kids, six dogs, a thriving business and I said, you know, a book wasn't gonna get me out of this jam, I needed a whole Ph.D. in it. So I did I enrolled in a Ph.D. program in transpersonal psychology, the psychology of transformation and human potential. Because I was changing so much I didn't quite understand it. He was too, wasn't ready to look at that. And then it was time to do a study. So I studied betrayal. What holds us back what helps us heal and what happens to us physically, mentally and emotionally when the people closest to us lie, cheat and deceive? That study led to three groundbreaking discoveries which changed my health, my family, my work, my life.Lesley Logan 4:51  Okay, I mean, crazy amazing. No, not that I would ever wish betrayal on anybody but like, thank goodness, we're able to take your betrayal and make it what it is because I, if you start to think about the different things that could happen to you that can really prevent you from living the life you want to live and betrayal is this one thing where you can see people in your life or maybe someone listening right now, like that is the thing that's keeping them from showing up in the world. Because the last time they did it, they got betrayed or whatever. So I just think that like, this is an amazing topic, can we just like, go down to the 101 of what betrayal is just in case people are like, I've never been betrayed before, my life is fine.Debi Silber 5:33  Sure. Yeah and then maybe it is. Well, I define it as the breaking of a spoken or unspoken rule, and every relationship has them. So the way it works is the more we trust, and the more we depend on that person, the deeper the betrayal. So for example, a child who is totally dependent on their parent, and the parent does something awful. That's going to have a different impact than let's say, your best friend sharing your secret, you're co-worker taking credit for your idea. Still a betrayal, different level of cleanup. Lesley Logan 6:00  Yeah, yeah. So you know. Yeah, I mean, that's a really interesting way of putting it like the stronger the bond, the deeper the betrayal. Okay, so then you start to go through and try to figure out what works to heal from betrayal. Obviously, there's some things that people can do that are better than others, like, what is the process of like? Is it first just recognizing that you've been betrayed? Is it going within? Is it you screaming and yelling at the other person?Debi Silber 6:27  Yes, yes, yes. You know, it's all of those depending on where you're at, the first thing is, you know, you have to know where you know what betrayal does, and that's where that's where the discoveries really came in. So I'm happy to share what they are, because that'll give such context to what we're talking about. So at first I was studying and like, I had a feeling betrayal was a different type of trauma, then, you know, death of a loved one disease, natural disaster, like I had been through death of a loved one. And I've been through disease, and I was like, You know what? Betrayal feels different. I didn't want to assume that it was the same for everyone in my study, so I asked them, if you've been through other types of trauma, traumas, does betrayal feel different for you unanimously? This one, oh, my gosh, it's so different. And here's why. Because it feels so intentional. We take it so personally. So the entire self gets shattered and has to be rebuilt. rejection, abandonment, belonging, confidence, worthiness, trust, like they're all demolished and have to be rebuilt. Like for example, if you lose someone you love, you grieve, you're sad, you mourn the loss, life will never be the same. But you don't question the relationship. You don't question the trust, you don't question your sanity, betrayal, has you questioning all of it. So that type of healing needed its own name, which is now called post betrayal transformation, that complete and total rebuild of your life and yourself after an experience with betrayal. So that betrayal is a different type of trauma, that was the first discovery. The second one was, we actually discovered that there's this collection of symptoms, physical, mental, and emotional, so common to betrayal, it's now known as post betrayal syndrome. And it what's so interesting is we've had, I don't know, easily 95,000 plus people take our post betrayal syndrome quiz on our site to see to what extent they're struggling. We've all been taught time heals all wounds. I have the proof that when it comes to betrayal, that's not true. There's a question on the quiz that says is there anything else you'd like to share? And people write things like, you know, my betrayal happened 35 years ago, I'm unwilling to trust. My betrayal happened, you know, 10 years ago feels like it happened yesterday. My betrayal happened 15 years years ago, I feel gutted. So we know you cannot count on time. Or you can't even count on a new relationship to heal betrayal. Healing needs to be deliberate and intentional. And, you know, I'm happy to share some of those stats from the quiz if that would serve you.Debi Silber 6:33  Yeah, I am like, fascinated. Because you, we've all seen it, like we've all had that family member who like something happened to them. And they were never, they were never the same again. And it can be so easy, like, oh my gosh, like they could just have like, gotten over it. Like they should just get over it. And part of me is like maybe like, for some reason, my brain is going like betrayal. At some point, you might even think that you betrayed yourself. Like, it's almost like, it's like you could reverse the betrayal that you did it to you. Because I trusted them. Oh, I I didn't listen to that red flag that I've had, like, you start to like, take it on as you did it to you.Debi Silber 9:35  And everything you're saying about the stuckness, I'm going to talk about that in the third discovery. But yeah, I mean, these symptoms are so classic for post betrayal syndrome, and here's the thing, we associate it because let's say the betrayal happened years ago, you know, we're like, well, clearly it's not from that. Oh, but yes, it is. And but we think because it was so long ago, it's got to be from aging. It's got to just be from daily stress. No, it's not. It's from an unhealed betrayal. So. Lesley Logan 10:01  Let's go to the next one. I love this. Yeah. Debi Silber 10:03  Yeah. So do you want me to read the stats? Lesley Logan 10:06  Yeah, let's read it. Debi Silber 10:07  So, out of 95,000 plus people, men, women just about every country's represented, 78% constantly revisit their experience, 81% feel a loss of personal power, 80% are hypervigilant, I mean that's exhausting, 94% deal with painful triggers. These are the most common physical symptoms: 71% have low energy, 68% have sleep issues, 63% have extreme fatigue, your adrenals have tanked, 47% of weight changes. So in the beginning, maybe you can hold food down, later on you're an emotional eater, you're using food for comfort, 45% have a digestive issue and that could be anything Crohn's, IBS, diverticulitis, constipation, diarrhea, bloating, anything. The most common mental symptoms: 78% are overwhelmed, 70% are walking around in a state of disbelief, 68% can't focus, 64% are in shock, 62% can't concentrate. So imagine you can't concentrate, you have a gut issue, you're exhausted. You still have to feed your kids. You still have to work.Lesley Logan 11:16  Oh, and all this is compounding. So like, and what's crazy to me is like, it's the majority, of all this is like a majority. So it's not like, some people have betrayal experiences and some people experience, it's like, well, they're all pretty much experiencing these things. And it's just, that is, all of that is exhausting. And you got to show up and then you have these expectations on yourself, and you can't meet them. So that's another spiral.Debi Silber 11:40  Oh, yeah, you're so right. And that's not even the emotional issues. So emotionally, 88% experienced extreme sadness, 83% are very angry and you just bounce back and forth between those two emotions all day long it's debilitating, 82% feel hurt, 80% have anxiety, 79% are stressed. Just a few more. Here's why I wrote the book Trust Again, 84% have an inability to trust, 67% I hope that landed, that's huge, 67% prevent themselves from forming deep relationships because they're afraid of being hurt again, 82% find it hard to move forward, 90% want to move forward but they don't know how.Lesley Logan 12:22  Yeah, like, it's like this. There's, it's not like they don't want their life back. But they don't know the next steps. Because moving on, everything we've ever been told, just get over it, you'll meet someone else or like, it's that hurt people hurt people. So they were just hurting. Like, it's none of that stuff is really helpful for you to build trust again. And also. And the thing about trust, which I'm sure you talked about in your book, and we can go into that is like you like to build trust, you have to trust like you actually have to be vulnerable in the beginning of a relationship. So that trust is built, but people want trust to be there before they're vulnerable once they've gone through something like that. And so, is that kind of why you, is that what you talk about in the book Trust Again, is that like, one of the things?Debi Silber 13:07  It is what, it definitely is one of the things and just to wrap up the post betrayal syndrome stats, think about it, you didn't hear me say one thing that said, you know, 20% 30%, these numbers are super high. They're also not necessarily from a recent betrayal. So this could be from that parent who did something awful when you were a kid, this could be from the girlfriend or boyfriend who broke your heart in high school. So think about this, that person may not know care, remember, they may not even be alive. And here we are decades later with these symptoms, because we haven't healed it from way back then. That's the trick. That's the crime. The good news is you can heal from all of it, which was the third discovery.Lesley Logan 13:47  Yeah. So okay. I do want to know how we can heal from it.Debi Silber 13:50  Yeah, and then and then I'll circle back to if you want, how to know, you know, when you said about, you know, being willing to trust and unwilling and, and putting the big wall up and all those things maybe I can (inaudible). So the third discovery, this, to me was the most exciting. And what was discovered was while we can stay stuck for years, decades, a lifetime and so many people do, if we're going to fully heal, and by fully heal, I mean, symptoms of post betrayal syndrome that I just shared to that completely rebuilt place of you're whole, healed, complete of post betrayal transformation. To get from one to the next, we're going to move through five proven predictable stages. And what's even more exciting about that is we know what happens physically, mentally and emotionally. At every one of those stages. And we know what it takes to move from one stage to the next. Healing is entirely predictable. Happy to go through the stages if you want. Lesley Logan 14:50  Yeah, I do. I love this. I had no idea it could be so predictable. So I want to hear. Debi Silber 14:55  And that's the thing. I mean, there's a roadmap now for it. And so it's all mapped out in Trust Again, it's all we do within the PBT Institute. It's where all of our coaches are certified in, moving people through the five stages, but I'll share them briefly here. So, stage one, if, you can imagine four legs of a table, the four legs being physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual. What I saw with everybody, me too, was a heavy lean on the physical and the mental thinking and doing and kind of neglecting or ignoring the emotional and the spiritual, feeling and being. Well, if there's a table with only two legs, it's easy for that table to topple over. That's us. Stage two, shock, trauma, D Day, discovery day, the scariest of all of the stages. And this is the breakdown of the body, the mind and the worldview. Right here, you got the news, you've ignited the stress response, you are now headed for every single stress-related symptom, illness, condition disease. Your mind is in a complete state of chaos and overwhelm. You cannot wrap your mind around what you just learned. This makes no sense. And your worldview has just been shattered. Your worldview is your mental model, the rules that govern us that prevent chaos, don't go there, trust this person, this is how life works. And in one earth-shattering moment or series of moments. Every rule you've known and you've held to be real and true, is no longer the bottom has truly bottomed out from you. And the new bottom hasn't been formed yet. I remember a study participant saying you know what it feels like. It felt like, it felt like every negative emotion you can imagine, getting punched in the stomach and losing a child and a crowd all at the same time. It's awful. Think about it. Lesley Logan 16:30  Like you're searching, you're searching and searching, you're adrenaline's going to find something. And you just been like crippled at the same time. So you can't even do it. Yeah, that is so (inaudible).Debi Silber 16:51  Yeah, it's visceral. So but think about it. If the bottom were to bottom out on you, what would you do, you'd grab hold of anything or anyone you could to stay safe and stay alive. And that stage three, survival instincts emerge. It's the most practical out of all of the stages. If you can help me get out of my way, how do I survive this experience? Where do I go? Who can I trust? How do I feed my kids? Here's the trap, though. Stage three, by far hands down is the most common place we get stuck. You know, so many people in this stage and I will explain it you will see. This is the place we get stuck and here's why. Once we've figured out how to survive our experience, because it feels so much better than the shock and trauma of where we just came from, we think it's good. And be like, okay, I got this. And because we don't know there's anywhere else to go. We park here, we plant roots here we're not supposed to. But we don't know that. And four things have, a transformation doesn't even begin (inaudible) work. But we don't know anything about that. So we plant roots here. And these four things happen. The first thing is, we start getting all these small self-benefits from being here. We get our story. We like our story. We get to be right, we like being right, you know, we get a target for anger, we get someone to blame. We don't have to do the hard work of learning to trust again. Can I trust you? Should I trust you? Forget it, I'm not trusting anybody. So we plant deeper roots. Again, we're not supposed to but we don't know. And now because you know that you know we're here longer than we should be. We start thinking things like well, you know, maybe you're not that great. Maybe you deserved it. Maybe this maybe that. So we plant deeper roots. And now because these are the thoughts we're thinking, well this is the energy we're putting out. Like energy attracts like energy. So now we start calling situations, circumstances and relationships towards us to confirm yep, this is exactly where you belong. Lesley Logan 18:49  Yeah, it's like cognitive bias whatever yeah, right it's a whole like you're just I think this, I see this, it's proved me correct.Debi Silber 18:58  And your mind will find you as much confirming evidence as you want to see and then you also the misery loves company crowd comes along now to. Here's also where you find that support group that like in an awful club where it's like this happened to me oh, you think that's bad? This happened to me? And now you found your people. Yeah, so your (inaudible) to grow because you don't want to outgrow your people. The longer you're here the harder it gets to leave because this becomes your identity. It gets worse but I'll get you out. Because you feel so bad, but you don't know there's anywhere else to go you resign yourself right here you're like this stinks but like I have to get through my day. You have to, I have to go to work, I have to be with my kids. So right here is where you start using food, drugs, alcohol, work, TV, keeping busy whatever it is to numb avoid and distract yourself. So think about it. You do it for a day, a week, month now to happen a year, 10 years, 20 years. I can seriously see someone 20 years later and say you know that emotional eating you're doing or that drinking you're doing, do you think that has anything to do with your betrayal? And they would look at me like I'm crazy. (Inaudible) 20 years ago, all they did was put themselves in stage three, and stay there. Does that make sense? Lesley Logan 20:10  Yeah. Oh, it totally does. And I think like, it's so interesting because the the world would have you think, oh, well, if you're emotionally eating, then you should just eat fewer calories and like, go deal with your emotions. But it's like, it's not even. It's not a, it's not a conscious awareness that those two go together. And also, you just try to mask that, like, oh, I'll just eat less. It sets you up for failure, you're going to screw up, because that's just human just gonna happen. And so then you're even more, you're stuck, because you're like, I'm not even.Debi Silber 20:43  Right. And that's why it's so common to stay there. And you know, it's interesting, because Trust Again maps out the five stages, but that's why I wrote (inaudible) hard to heal them, like you've been through the worst of it already. What in the world are you doing staying stuck in stage three, from harmed to healed is just for stage three, because that's where most people live at stake for life. And you and if you remind me, I'll get back to I want to get people out of stage three. But if you're me, like how do you know if you're in stage three? I'll tell you. Anyway, if you are willing, willingness is a huge word right here. If you are willing to let go of the small self-benefits, grieve, mourn the loss, bunch of things you need to do, you move to stage four. Stage four is finding and adjusting to a new normal. So here's where you acknowledge, I can't undo what happened. But I control what I do with it. Just in that decision, you're turning down the stress response, you're not healing just yet. But at least you just stop the massive damage you've been creating in stages two and stage three. Stage four feels like if you've ever moved, if you've ever moved to a new house, office, condo, apartment, whatever, all your stuff's not there. It's not cozy yet. But you're like, okay, okay, we've got this, stage four feels like that. But think about it, if you were to move, you don't bring everything you know, you don't take those things that don't represent who you want to be when you're in your new space. And what I found was, there's this one spot in moving from stage three to stage four. If your friends weren't there for you, you don't take them with you. You've outgrown them. And it's so common, people say to me all the time, I've had these friends 10, 20 years is it me? Yes, it is. You're undergoing a transformation and if they don't rise, you don't bring them, very common. Lesley Logan 22:30  That and that's probably the hardest part. I'm sure in your work, you see people who have a hard time letting go of those friends. I've had them for so much of my life. And it's like, if but if it's true, if they're not rising up with you, if they're not, if they're not willing to stop telling the story as well, if they're not willing to stop being stuck. It's not that you're being a dick, not taking them with you. It's like actually part of you becoming the person here. So you've always wanted to be. If you loved being in stage three you would stay there, but you're not loving it.Debi Silber 23:02  That's it. And here's the thing, do you know how often I'll see somebody sabotaging their growth, because they don't want to outgrow their betrayer or they don't want to outgrow the friends they need in that stuck place. So they'll find themselves constantly sabotaging their success, so that they stay with the familiar known, the only benefit is that it's familiar. That's the only thing. But because it's familiar, they will you know, it's not worth healing and rebuilding themselves because of the known familiar but what's waiting for you in Stage Four and Stage Five is mind-blowing. So let me get to stage five, and then I'll tell you what we see. So stage five, once you've settled into this new mental space, you've made it cozy, you've made it home, you move into the fifth most beautiful stage and this is healing, rebirth and a new worldview. The body starts to heal. Self-love, self-care, eating well exercise, you just couldn't do that before you you know, you don't have the bandwidth. Your mind is healing, you're making new rules, you're making new boundaries, you know, based on the road you just traveled and you have a new worldview based on everything, you see so clearly and so differently now. And the four legs of the table in the beginning it was all about the physical and the mental by this point, were solidly grounded. Because we're focused on the emotional and the spiritual too. Those are the five. Lesley Logan 24:24  Yeah, this is really cool. So because I, I feel like you know, the whole reason this podcast exists is that people think that they have to fake it till they make it and like I'm not about that because like I think that like acting as if you're the person that you want to be allows you to make decisions like that person would. And so when I was, what I was attracted to this topic so much is that like, I see so many people with all the tools they have all of them they actually have the goals, they have the things and they keep self-sabotaging or staying stuck or playing small or replaying a story. Well, last time I tried to do something this happened to me, and so, I love that you found these five, and also all these things that like, I think so many people are walking around from betrayal symptoms, not just like, you know, like depression is a symptom of betrayal. It's not that you know, so I feel like we're going around trying to heal symptoms, and not actually the cause of the problem. Is that what your studies all found? Debi Silber 25:21  It is 100%. Because think about it, like, for example, 45% of everybody betrayed has a gun issue, you could go to the best good doctor on the planet, I'm friends with many of them, right? But here's the thing, that the amazing protocols they recommend will only take you so far, if there's an unhealed betrayal at the root of it. Unless and until you heal that, that's the issue. Or let's say, you know, you've in the beginning you you couldn't hold food down, and later on, you become an emotional eater, then you try to lose weight. Well, and you try all these weight loss things, that's not the issue or you can't sleep. So you start taking something for sleep, or your adrenals have tanked and you're taking something like some sort of adrenal support, they're all wonderful, right? But at the root of it is that unhealed betrayal. But when you move out of stage three into stage four, and five, what we see constantly within the PBT Institute, that's where you are ready for a new level of relationship with someone entirely new or with a completely revamped person of the person who hurt you. That's when we see new levels of health. That's where if I tell you how many businesses get birthed in stages four and five, the PBT Institute, that was a stage five thing, you don't have access to all of that newness when you're stuck in your trauma. You get your story, but that's really just about all you're getting. Lesley Logan 26:43  Yeah. Yeah. So hurt me wonders. Like, do you think there's some people who have particularly like, locked the betrayal so much that they're, they're almost in denial that their problems are from betrayal like it? Some of these things might have happened when they were children? Some of these things happen when they're adults. How do you go about like understanding what betrayal you need to heal from if you're not aware? Like, I mean, people might think like Lesley, you're crazy. No, like, if my partner had cheated on me, that's a very obvious betrayal. But there might be some betrayals that like happened to you that were kind of can you're conditioned to so you don't even call it that you think it was your fault. So I guess I'm just wondering if, if there's like some ways to figure out if betrayal is what you're going through?Debi Silber 27:27  100%. So take a look at your health, your work, your relationships will see it in these three areas all the time. For example, in your relationships, I'll see an unhealed betrayal in one of two ways. The first is a repeat betrayal. The face has changed, but it's the same thing. You keep going from boss to boss to boss, friend to friend to friend, partner to partner and partner, like what the heck is it me? Yes, it is, not in that it's your fault. In that it's your opportunity, there is a gigantic lesson waiting to be learned. You are lovable, worthy and deserving. You need better boundaries in place, whatever that lesson is, until and unless you get that you're gonna have opportunities in the form of people to teach you. Like, for example, in my case, I had a painful betrayal from my family. And then I was like, all right, let me just heal from this. I think I'm over it, I'm good. And then my husband, but look at what I did here for me, I never did anything for myself, I wasn't even on my own like to-do list, you know, for me to enroll in a Ph. D. program. I didn't know who was gonna pay for it. I didn't know how I was going to manage the time. If I tell you how many people said I was full-blown crazy, right? But in making such a radical decision for me, it completely changed my life. And just to close the loop on my story, so everybody knows. Healing and rebuilding is always a choice whether you rebuild yourself and move on and that's what I did with my family wasn't an option to rebuild with them. Or if the situation lends itself if you're willing, if you want to you rebuild something from the ground up new as two entirely different people. That's what I do with my husband. So not long ago as two totally different people, we married each other again. Debi Silber 29:10  Oh my God. Debi Silber 29:12  New house, new dress, and our four kids is our bridal party. Betrayal will show you who someone truly is. It also has the opportunity to wake them up to who they temporarily became not that you need to do anything with that. But yeah, what most people do though is they're so afraid of the complete and utter death and destruction of the old as the only way you birth the new.Lesley Logan 29:37  This is, I'm happy to hear that because it sounds like you both had to go through some things for that to actually come back and like refine each other in massive ways. And I'm sure it wasn't easy. I I like that you break down to like, health, you know, that like relationships and I think the third one was work or was that family? Debi Silber 29:58  Yeah, I'd love to show and explain how it shows up in different areas? So in relationships, it's going to show up in one of those two ways, in repeat betrayal, that is an unhealed betrayal lesson has not been learned. The second way is the big wall goes up, like nope, been there done that no one's getting near me again. And we think that's coming from a place of strength. And it's not, it's coming from fear. Our heart was so hurt that we are unwilling to risk that level of vulnerability, because we just can't fathom the thought of that level of pain again. So we would rather keep everyone at bay, than take the risk of that pain. That's an ideal betrayal. We see it in health, people go to the most well-meaning, very good doctors, coaches, healers, therapists to manage a stress-related symptom illness, condition, disease, at the root of it, like we said before, is that unhealed betrayal. And we see it at work too, where let's say you deserve that raise or promotion. But you don't have the confidence to ask because your confidence was shattered in the betrayal. Or you want to be a team player. You want to be a collaborative partner, joint venture partner, but the person you trusted, the most proved untrustworthy. How do you trust that boss, that co-worker that partner, you see? It's just everywhere, everywhere? Lesley Logan 31:18  Yeah, I was just listening to a podcast the other day, and this girl had wrote in a question like, I want to ask for a raise. My raise last time was like 3%. And I really, I feel like I should be making 10 or 15,000 more than I'm making, I feel that people are, but I like had some mistakes in my past jobs. And all I was thinking is like, not at this job. You've been fine at this job. You can ask for the rate and they're like telling her like, you should be looking at what they're paying you way too little for this, you should be looking at these things. And all I could think is like, this poor person is carrying on some weight on their shoulder as if it's like, I mean, the way she said it was as if she'd like killed someone her past job. And it was, I doubt it.Debi Silber 31:57  Yeah. And you know, when you say that, and the first thing that comes to my mind is worthiness and confidence shattered. That's a betrayal. I'm sure, I'm sure. I wish I could speak to her because I'm sure that's what's at the root. Lesley Logan 32:09  Yeah, I feel like okay, you guys, you guys study all these people. But I feel like almost you don't go through life without like, no one gets flipped through life being unscathed. I feel like betrayal can happen. So some of it so intentionally, I guess maybe it's unintentional as well. Even the people who are cheating on their spouses, like (inaudible) they intentionally I'm betraying this person, but like, it feels so personal like we talked about the beginning, that I feel like it can happen in a lot of different instances just by being part of the world. So I guess I'm wondering, like, is there a way to prevent betrayal?Debi Silber 32:42  You know, integrity? Yeah, here's and that's the thing. It's, it's such a part of our of our lives. And, you know, you wonder, it's like, Why in the world, would this be such a part of our lives, I kind of look at it as it gives you an opportunity to completely catapult yourself to a level of you, you never even thought possible, you know what it's like, it's like, you know, my kids used to love Legos, right? So imagine there's a Lego structure sitting in a corner of the living room, it's that good. It's just there. It's been built, right? And then one day, it's just completely knocked down. Rebuilding yourself, and transforming after betrayal is like looking at that Lego structure and say, you know what, I don't want to use that piece, I don't want to build it that way. I'm gonna use this, I'm gonna do it like that. And you are recreating everything. And betrayal lends itself to creating an entirely new version of you, where you take all the parts of you that you love, and you leave behind everything that no longer serves, like if the old you settled, if the old you tolerated, you know, stuff that this version of you doesn't want to if the old you didn't speak up for yourself, whatever it was, you have so many opportunities after betrayal, because everything's been leveled to decide who it is you want to be. And this isn't just having to do with another person. This is with yourself. Like, for example, after my betrayal, I realized, you know, I was so hard on myself, I was always such a, like, I was criticizing myself and so critical. And you know what? I don't want to do that anymore. So I decided that after betrayal, I used to always do things that I would call so stupid and so dumb, like, I'd get lost wherever I go. It's just part of what I do. They just get lost. And I decided, You know what, I'm just not going to call myself those names. So now when I do those same things, it's simply adorable.Lesley Logan 34:39  Yes, what a kind of way to talk to yourself.Debi Silber 34:42  I'll get lost just as I always do. And now I'm like, you're just so adorable. You see what I mean? So it's like you get to rebuild whatever you want. That's the opportunity but you never access that stuff. When you're stuck. Because you're like I have my story. It's like think about it. I had very powerful story all the people that I trusted all betrayed me. But look at the story now, you know, the books, the TEDx talks, the Institute, thousands of people, to the certified coaches, like, it's a way better story.Lesley Logan 35:12  Yeah. Okay, one more question. Um, now that you've gone through this, and like you've helped all these people who recover and get to stage five, do you find that people who've gone through stage five, if betrayal happens to them, again, they handle it? They don't have to go through all the stages again, or like, do we have to go, we have to, like, we feel all the feelings. Debi Silber 35:34  It's two things. It's number one, it doesn't, it doesn't happen that way, again, because your BS meter is so strong and so sharpened, that you don't attract those types of people in your lives. If you do, there's another lesson needing to be learned. But the good news is you have the tools to get right, you get through it so much more quickly. And like the emotional trajectory of this is like this, and you you breeze through it so much faster. It's like, first, you are so profoundly sad. You're like, oh, my gosh, how could they do this to me? You know, you're heartbroken. And then it moves towards anger, where you like, how do you do that to me, like, what, and that's actually healing. And then you get to this place of almost like pity, like, really, that's like, that's what you have to do. That's actually a really, really great place. Because it's almost as if you were in the picture. And now you're out of the picture, looking at it, seeing it for what it is and realizing it's not you. So that's huge. And then you move, you keep going with the healing, you move towards compassion, when you're in compassion, you're good, that's when you're healed. That doesn't mean you excuse it, you're setting yourself up for it again, none of that, it just means you have completely healed and use the situation to create the most healed healthy, whole, complete version of you.Lesley Logan 36:54  Oh, I love that I that. There's something like very promising and hopeful about that because it, it means you don't have to repeat all of the stuckness and the level three, and you can move through it faster. And I think like you are right, the opportunities are so key. Every person listen, I feel like some of the, you mentioned earlier, some of the best things that have ever been invented have come through people healing from something, you know, I just interviewed a guest who lost her husband to cancer. And she wrote because of how she noticed how people treated her during his cancer. And then after she read a book on like, here's how you help people, and you're going through something, and like, I feel like, you know, we can, it can be so easy. Why is this happening to me, but also not that you'd ever want, like, wish for bad things to happen to you. But my goodness, like, the things that do come from the shit are helping so many more people. And you get to have this incredible journey around you and learn from these lessons. And it doesn't have to be your story. Debi Silber 38:02  Right? Oh, you're so right. And it's so true. Think about it, you know, the most the best health experts. I know, they've been in the worst of health situations and they created their own concoction and healed from it. Someone who's you know, so great at helping you with, let's say finances, maybe they were broken, they came up with their whole recipe. So it's I feel like we have an obligation if we've been through something and we've sort of created a path. How do you not share that like when the five stages showed up? I'm like, How do I keep this myself? You know, so I put the five stages in a program and it blew up and then everyone wants to work with me and lead. Well, how do I do that? So I created our certification program because I wanted to get these five stages out to everybody. And then that blew up and I was like, Wait a second. I did the research. I know what works. I know what doesn't work. What would happen if I put everything that has proven to work under one roof. And that's the PBT Institute. Lesley Logan 38:55  So amazing. You're doing incredible things. Oh my gosh, Debi, this is I feel like so enlightened. I feel like I've got tools. I hope our listeners do too. I could keep talking to you. We'll have to definitely probably revisit this topic again with you soon. But we're gonna take a brief break and find out people can work with you. Lesley Logan 39:12  Now. Okay, where do you hang out? Where's the best place people get your books, people can work with you if they've gone through betrayal? Debi Silber 39:20  Yeah, everything can be found in the PBT as in Post Betrayal Transformation, the PBTinstitute.comLesley Logan 39:26  Perfect. Okay, you've given us some amazing tools and just so much information that I think will help everybody be it till they see it even in the midst of a betrayal. But before I let you go, bold, executable, intrinsic, targeted steps people can take to be it till they see it. What do you have for us?Debi Silber 39:42  You know, I would say if you're stuck in stage three, these are four questions I invite you to write down that's my way of saying write these down. Ready? First one, am I numbing, avoiding distracting? If so hell call yourself on it? Do you walk into the refrigerator, the kitchen, open the fridge and not the least bit hungry like what's going on? Do you go into a room put a TV on because you're desperately trying to drown out the sound of your own thoughts? Call yourself on it. Number two, what am I trying not to see? Call yourself on it. Am I trying not to see that health issue that needs my attention? That relationship issue? The job I hate? Third question, what's life that will look like in five to 10 years if I keep this going the same way you're dealing with it or not dealing with it, play it out. How does it look? The fourth question, what can life look like in five to 10 years if I change now? Not saying it's easy. Transformation begins when you tell yourself the truth.Lesley Logan 39:46  Yeah, and also like you can't, you can't be it till you see it if you don't have some ideas of where you want to like where you want to go to some sort of dream of something that can be on the other side of amazing. I invite you guys to write those questions down and go through it myself. A.k.a., do it. Oh, my gosh, Debi, thank you so much for being here. Y'all, how are you going to use these tips in your life? Please make sure you share this episode with a friend who you know who is going through some betrayal. You know, that person is that person stuck in stage three that you're like, oh my gosh, I wish I could just pull them out. Just send them this episode. You know, you don't have to tell them why you could just send it to them. And please tag Dr. Debi Silber, the Be It Pod and let us know what your takeaways are. We love hearing what these are because it does allow us to see the impact that we're making in your life. And until next time, Be It Till You See It. Lesley Logan 41:25  That's all I got for this episode of the Be It Till You See It Podcast. One thing that would help both myself and future listeners is for you to rate the show and leave a review and follow or subscribe for free wherever you listen to your podcast. Also, make sure to introduce yourself over at the Be It Pod on Instagram. I would love to know more about you. Share this episode with whoever you think needs to hear it. Help us and others Be It Till You See It. Have an awesome day.   Lesley Logan 41:52  Be It Till You See It is a production of The Bloom Podcast Network. If you want to leave us a message or a question that we might read on another episode, you can text us at +1-310-905-5534 or send a DM on Instagram @BeItPod. Brad Crowell 42:07  It's written, filmed, and recorded by your host, Lesley Logan, and me, Brad Crowell. Lesley Logan 42:12  It is transcribed, produced and edited by the epic team at Disenyo.co. Brad Crowell 42:17  Our theme music is by Ali at Apex Production Music and our branding by designer and artist, Gianfranco Cioffi. Lesley Logan 42:24  Special thanks to Melissa Solomon for creating our visuals. Brad Crowell 42:27  Also to Angelina Herico for adding all of our content to our website. And finally to Meridith Root for keeping us all on point and on time. Support this podcast at — https://redcircle.com/be-it-till-you-see-it/donationsAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

The Biology of Traumaâ„¢ With Dr. Aimie
65: Betrayal Trauma Recovery: How To Heal From The Hurt

The Biology of Traumaâ„¢ With Dr. Aimie

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2024 36:01


How do you start to heal from the hurt of a betrayal?   Betrayal is one of the most painful emotions you can experience as a person. Betrayal is not limited to just romantic relationships, it can be felt in all types of different relationships. Today, my good friend and colleague, Debi Silber, joins me to discuss the 5 stages of betrayal and how you can start to heal from the hurt.    You'll hear more about: The symptoms of betrayal trauma Why betrayal can trigger a trauma response Why trauma work is an integral part of healing  The coping mechanisms you might use to avoid the pain How to know if you're stuck — and the steps you can take to become the best version of yourself For more information and links for this episode, please visit our website: https://biologyoftrauma.com/biology-of-trauma-podcast/  

Flight Club
Dr. Debi Silber, Founder of Post Betrayal Transformation Institute

Flight Club

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 15, 2024 25:19


Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert, and is a 2-time #1 International bestselling author. Her podcast: From Betrayal to Breakthrough is also globally ranked within the top 1.5% of podcasts. Her recent PhD study on how we experience betrayal made 3 groundbreaking discoveries that changes how long it takes to heal. In addition to being on FOX, CBS, The Dr. Oz Show, TEDx (twice) and more, she's an award-winning speaker and coach dedicated to helping people move past their betrayals as well as any other blocks preventing them from the health, work, relationships, confidence, and happiness they want most. Dr. Debi is also a WBENC-Certified WBE (Women's Business Enterprise) and the founder of National Forgiveness Day, celebrated annually on September 1st. Website: thepbtinstitute.com Social media handles: The latest TEDx: “Do You Have Post Betrayal Syndrome?“: youtu.be/iyqOR69dHiU TEDx: Stop Sabotaging Yourself: youtu.be/XX30i6nC7ro The From Betrayal to Breakthrough podcast: thepbtinstitute.com/podcast TikTok: www.tiktok.com/@debisilber Facebook: www.facebook.com/InspireEmpowerTransform Twitter: twitter.com/DebiSilber Linkedin: www.linkedin.com/in/debisilber Instagram: www.instagram.com/debisilber Youtube: www.youtube.com/debisilber

The Midlife Mentors
Healing from Betrayal: Interview with Dr Debi Silber

The Midlife Mentors

Play Episode Play 30 sec Highlight Listen Later Mar 9, 2024 39:42


In this episode Claire goes solo as she speaks with Dr Debi Silber PHD, the founder of The Post Betrayal Transformation Institute, which helps people heal after betrayal, so they can regain trust in themselves and establish the security needed to regain control of their life.Debi is also a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset, and personal development expert, and a 2-time #1 International bestselling author of The Unshakable Woman AND From Hardened to Healed. This is such a wonderful enlightening and positive conversation and we know you're going to find it as insightful as Claire did.To find out more about the work Debi does, follow the below link:https://thepbtinstitute.com/ Please remember, if you find the show helpful or it makes you laugh, motivates and inspires you - please do like, share and rate us. We don't run ads on the podcast or for the show, because we want to keep it as enjoyable for you to listen as possible. So if you can help us spread the word, we'd be incredibly grateful.For more information about The Midlife Mentors, click the below link:https://linktr.ee/themidlifementors.comTik Tok: @themidlifementorsIG: @midlifementors

healing international betrayal healed debi silber unshakable woman and from hardened
Latinos In Real Estate Investing Podcast
Picking Up the Pieces: Rebuilding Your Life After a Betrayal (w/ Dr. Debi Silber)

Latinos In Real Estate Investing Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Mar 8, 2024 42:27 Transcription Available


Ever been totally betrayed by someone you trusted? Yeah, it sucks. Trust us, we've all been there.  But guess what? You don't have to stay stuck in heartbreak.Join us as we chat with Dr. Debi Silber, a total betrayal EXPERT, about turning that pain into serious growth.  She'll break down the stages of healing (because let's face it, healing isn't always linear, amirite?) and how to ditch the victim mentality and embrace your inner badass.We'll also hear real stories (including Dr. Silber's!) about relationships bouncing back from betrayal stronger than ever.  Plus, we'll connect you with the PBT Institute's awesome resources to support your journey.Ready to stop letting betrayal hold you back and build a life filled with trust? Hit play and let's level up together!Introducing the 60 Day Deal Finder!Visit: www.MartinREIMastery.comUse the Coupon Code: WEALTHYAFfor 20% off! This episode is brought to you by Premier Ridge Capital.Build Generational Wealth As A Passive Investor In Multifamily Real Estate Syndication!Visit www.premierridgecapital.com to find out more.Support the show

From Betrayal To Breakthrough
355: Healing and Transformation After Betrayal: A Personal Journey

From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Play Episode Listen Later Feb 12, 2024 29:35


In this episode, we dive into the profound topic of healing and transformation after experiencing betrayal. Our host, Dr. Debi Silber who has personally walked this challenging path, shares her story and insights on how to navigate the journey of recovery and self-discovery.  Key Points:    The Pain of Betrayal:  Betrayal can be an incredibly painful experience, leaving you feeling blindsided, devastated, and questioning everything.  The aftermath of betrayal can create a psychological earthquake, dividing your life into "before" and "after."      Unique Nature of Betrayal:  Betrayal is a unique form of trauma, distinct from other losses or hardships.  It leads to a deep questioning of trust, both in others and in oneself.    The Transformational Opportunity:  Betrayal offers an opportunity for personal transformation and growth.  It marks the death of the old relationship and the chance to build a stronger, more authentic version of oneself.    Rebuilding Trust:  Rebuilding trust is a complex process, and it often starts with self-trust.  Recognize that the betrayal is a reflection of the betrayer's issues, not your worth.    Healing Process:  Healing from betrayal doesn't necessarily require years of therapy.  It involves addressing the trauma on physical, mental, emotional, psychological, and spiritual levels.    Changing Perspectives:  Transforming your perspective can be a key to healing.  Embracing change and becoming open to a new relationship dynamic can lead to growth.    Rekindling Relationships:  In some cases, rebuilding the relationship with the betrayer can lead to a stronger and healthier connection.  It's essential to recognize the transformation in both yourself and the other person.    Personal Growth:  Betrayal can be a catalyst for recognizing your worth and potential.  It's an opportunity to become a stronger, more confident, and happier version of yourself.    Support and Role Modeling:  Your journey through betrayal can serve as a powerful example for those around you, especially your children.  Being your own best friend and showing self-compassion is crucial during the healing process.    Embracing Change:  Trust that change is possible and that you can become someone who deserves love, respect, and happiness.  The process might be scary but can lead to a fulfilling and transformed life.    Let's Wrap it Up:  Healing from betrayal is not only possible; it is predictable. Embrace the opportunity for transformation that betrayal presents and discover the strong, magnificent person you are meant to be.    Links:   The PBT Institute 

From Betrayal To Breakthrough
353: The Pitfalls of Being Exceptionally Capable: A Guide to Thrive Post-Betrayal

From Betrayal To Breakthrough

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 29, 2024 14:19


In this episode, Dr. Debi Silber explores the often overlooked consequences of being exceptionally capable, especially in the aftermath of betrayal. She highlights how this trait can lead to detrimental outcomes, both personally and professionally, and offers insights into how to navigate this challenging situation.    Episode Highlights:    The Capability Trap (00:00:45): Dr. Debi dives into how being highly capable can work against you, using examples from her work with individuals at The PBT Institute. When others recognize your competence, they may start relying on you excessively, causing you to shoulder more than you should.    The Burden of Overcommitment (00:03:15): Dr. Debi discusses the dangers of taking on too much due to your capability. She explains that even though you can handle it, it doesn't mean you should, emphasizing the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing self-care.    The Brick Wall Metaphor (00:05:30): A powerful metaphor is introduced—the brick wall. Dr. Debi illustrates how trust, like a brick wall, is built one brick at a time. However, one moment of betrayal can shatter the entire wall. She emphasizes the need for those responsible for the betrayal to actively participate in rebuilding trust.    External Validation (00:09:15): Dr. Debi touches on seeking validation externally, such as through recognition and praise for your capabilities. She warns against relying solely on external validation, as it can lead to self-neglect and stress-related issues.    Physical and Emotional Toll (00:11:30): The episode discusses the physical and emotional toll of taking on too much. Dr. Debi draws from her health background to highlight how stress-related symptoms, illness, and disease can manifest when we push ourselves beyond our limits.    The Opportunity to Rewrite the Script (00:14:00): Dr. Debi emphasizes that betrayal provides an opportunity to reflect on our roles and responsibilities. It allows us to rewrite the script, set healthier boundaries, and reassess our approach to life.    Self-Worth Beyond Actions (00:16:30): The episode concludes by challenging the notion that self-worth is solely tied to our actions and achievements. Dr. Debi encourages listeners to consider their intrinsic value beyond what they do.    Let's Wrap it Up: Dr. Debi Silber's insightful exploration of the pitfalls of exceptional capability provides valuable guidance for those navigating post-betrayal experiences. This episode encourages listeners to strike a balance between their capabilities and self-care while fostering a deeper understanding of self-worth.    Disclaimer: The content in this podcast is for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional advice or treatment.     Links:  The PBT Institute 

It’s not Normal, It’s Toxic-rid your life of toxic people
#219 A Deeper Look into Betrayal with guest Dr. Debi Silber

It’s not Normal, It’s Toxic-rid your life of toxic people

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 16, 2024 42:32


Dr. Debi Silber is the founder of the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) Institute and is a holistic psychologist, a health, mindset and personal development expert. Over the last 30+ years, she has supported thousands of people to heal physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.She is fully dedicated to this mission because she believes that betrayal is one of the most painful experiences one could ever have. She knows because she has been there. It was her own betrayals, first from her family and then from her husband, that shattered her heart, trust, and life as she knew it. Betrayal can be something you carry around for a very long time without even realizing it. There is more than just one stage of betrayal, which one are you? Post betrayal syndrome will carry over into all aspects of your health and your life. Dr Debi walks with others through each stage giving the support that she knows her clients will need in order to stay focused and value the changes that the act of betrayal brought into their lives. Learn more about Dr. Debi and her work by visiting her website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/ Follow Dr Debi on facebook: https://www.facebook.com/InspireEmpowerTransform or instagram https://www.instagram.com/debisilber/ Looking for a support group? Looking for answers? Are you confused about your relationship? Don't know where to begin? I am here to help. Visit my website for some tips on how and where to begin your journey to freedom from the toxic relationships is your life. https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/work-with-me

The Thoughtful Entrepreneur
1786 - The Six-Step System to Success with Lori Anne De Iulio Casdia

The Thoughtful Entrepreneur

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2024 16:38 Transcription Available


In this episode of the Thoughtful Entrepreneur, your host Josh Elledge speaks with the Founder & Director of LDC Strategies, Lori Anne De Iulio Casdia.Lori Anne is a success coach who propels high achievers toward realising their personal and professional goals. She has a unique ability to help individuals on the cusp of action but find themselves stuck and unable to leap.Lori Anne explained that 92% of people fail to take decisive action towards their dreams. They may take a few steps but often get bogged down by justifiable excuses or mental blocks. As a take-action coach, Lori Anne's mission is to eliminate these excuses and strategize a clear path for her clients to soar to success.Lori Anne uses the analogy of a super ball to describe high achievers. Like the ball, they have the energy and potential to bounce in all directions, but they need to be thrown in a straight line towards their goal. She helps her clients harness their energy, focus on their zone of genius, and strategically shelve distractions until the right time.Lori Anne has developed a six-step system to help clients launch or expand their businesses, maximize revenue streams, and systemize their operations. This approach allows for more downtime, crucial for creativity and overall well-being.Lori Anne's book, "Women Who Dream," is a collaborative effort with 30 authors sharing their insights. It's a must-read for anyone uncomfortable and looking for a new perspective. The book encourages readers to focus on their wants, dream big, and set actionable goals.Key Points from the Episode:Creating consistent and predictable sales activity without spam or adsWorking with high achievers to accelerate their potential and achieve personal and professional goalsIdentifying and overcoming mental blocks and excuses to achieve successImplementing standard operating procedures and systems to maximize business revenueFinding and staying in the zone of genius to increase productivity and satisfactionA six-step system to launch, maximize, and systemize a businessThe book "Women Who Dream" and its focus on making choices and setting big dreams and goalsDreaming big and setting goals for the futureTaking action and becoming part of the 8% of action takersAbout Lori Anne De Iulio Casdia:Lori Anne is a multifaceted professional dedicated to empowering business owners and executives. As a Certified Professional Transformational Success Coach & Strategist, she specializes in building strategies and structures, offering support and accountability to turn ambitious dreams into realities. Her accolades include being a #1 International Best Selling Author and a Personal Development Success Coach. Lori Anne hosts the radio show 'Healthy Lifestyle with Lori Anne,' and is recognized for her impactful speaking engagements.She is renowned for identifying 'Super Ball Syndrome' and creating the 'TAKE ACTION WITH JET PROPULSION' program, inspiring people to act and monetize their messages. Lori Anne excels in activating behavioral changes, guiding individuals from confusion to clarity, disrupting limiting beliefs, boosting confidence, and honing communication skills to achieve personal and professional goals.Featured on Jack Canfield's TV show and various media platforms, she has shared stages with notable figures like William Paul Young & Dr. Debi Silber. Lori Anne has authored two books, including

Zen Commuter
2011: Lori Anne De Lulio Casdia - Transformational Coach and Best-Selling Author

Zen Commuter

Play Episode Listen Later Jan 11, 2024 86:00


Lori Anne is a #1 International Best Selling Author, Certified Professional Transformational Success Coach, Marketing Positioner and Strategist, Personal Development Success Coach, International Speaker, and Radio Show Host of 'Healthy Lifestyle with Lori Anne' & has been featured on Jack Canfield's Tv Show “Talking About Success with Jack Canfield” & many news, TV, and radio platforms. She has shared the keynote stage with celebrity and best-selling authors William Paul Young & Dr. Debi Silber. CalmUniversity Enrollment is now open! Classes start January 15th Calm University - Easing the Pain of Anxiety with Meditation   Meditation Coaching Schedule Time with Thom (Complimentary consultation)   Links from the Episode: https://ldcstrategies.com/success-coaching   Connect with Thom Linked In - https://www.linkedin.com/in/thom-walters-5636391b Patreon - https://www.patreon.com/zencommuter Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/thom_walters Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=zen%20commuter   Become a Super-Fan of the Show Support ZEN commuter and get access to patron bonuses THANKS FOR LISTENING! Thanks again for listening to the show! If it has helped you in any way, please share it using the social media buttons you see on the page. Also, reviews for the podcast on iTunes are extremely helpful, they help it reach a wider audience.  The more positive reviews the higher in the rankings it goes.  Of course that means more peace in the world.  So please let me know what you think.  I read ever one of them. Did you enjoy the podcast?

It’s not Normal, It’s Toxic-rid your life of toxic people
#216 The Holiday Betrayal Roller Coaster

It’s not Normal, It’s Toxic-rid your life of toxic people

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 19, 2023 23:03


Are you going through yet another holiday season, that does not all resemble the one you once had pictured in your mind. When you have relationships in your life that are not healthy for you, where controlling behaviors are present, or where that has been betrayal the supposed "Peace on Earth" doesn't seem so peaceful. Rather than spreading your "Joy to the World" you would rather "Deck someone's Halls". How do we navigate this time of year while attempting to balance all our normal responsibilities plus the added holiday demands while the toxic people in our lives go off the rails to ruin it all for us. We know they do this because your focus is not all on them like it normally is. This caused discomfort to their security and thus causes new, changed, or amplified behavior. Needing some tips to get you through the next couple weeks? Listen as our "betrayal expert" Dr Debi Silber shares with us how to juggle the painful devastation of betrayal while still longing to enjoy your holidays. Dr. Debi Silber is the founder the PBT (Post Betrayal Transformation) institute. Learn more about Dr. Debi and her work by visiting her website: https://thepbtinstitute.com/ Looking for a support group? Looking for answers? Are you confused about your relationship? Don't know where to begin? I am here to help. Visit my website for some tips on how and where to begin your journey to freedom from the toxic relationships is your life. https://coachingwithdrheidi.com/work-with-me

The Bone Coach Osteoporosis & Bone Health Podcast
#98: Learn How To Heal From Betrayal w/ Dr. Debi Silber + BoneCoach™ Osteoporosis & Osteopenia

The Bone Coach Osteoporosis & Bone Health Podcast

Play Episode Listen Later Dec 6, 2023 28:42


BoneCoach™ Osteoporosis & Osteopenia - Joining us today to explore betrayal and its impact on your health and your bones is Dr. Debi Silber.=>>FREE Stronger Bones Masterclass (Gain Access Now!)=>>FREE 7-Day Osteoporosis Kickstart=>>Apply to join the Stronger Bones Solution Program w/ the BoneCoach™ Team***Topics Covered0:00 - Episode start1:21 - Introduction to our special guest, Dr. Debi Silber2:18 - Dr. Silber's journey into studying betrayal and its personal impact on her3:38 - Discoveries from Dr. Silber's study on betrayal and post-traumatic growth5:08 - The concept of the Post Betrayal Syndrome and its symptoms, including statistics from Dr. Silber's quiz9:25 - In-depth walkthrough of the five stages of healing from betrayal18:14 - Exploring reconciliation with the betrayer and the importance of healing choices20:25 - Discussion on fear of new betrayals and consequences of avoiding healing21:30 - Practical advice for individuals on starting the healing process 24:57 - More on moving forward and healing from betrayal experiences26:08 - Where to find Dr. Silber: How she helps people and where to reach her27:30 - The Post Betrayal Syndrome quiz and its relevance***Resources MentionedFind all resources mentioned and show notes @=>> https://bonecoach.com/how-to-heal-from-betrayal-dr-debi-silber***What can you do to support your bone health and this podcast?1. Hit the “Subscribe” Button. 2. Leave a review. Thank you!