Common Sense with Burt Franklap

As racial tensions explode in protests against the military's use of deadly force, Burt asks "What can we do to help the poor Serovians?"

Celebrity chef and tinfoil fashion icon Muesli Carapace joins Burt in the DAG kitchen

Burt asks the tough questions about our new state law, including "but why do I have to do it?" and "can't other people take responsibility for themselves and, by extension, me?"

Burt takes Dictator Doff to task over the biggest invasion of personal freedoms since chattel slavery. Yes friends, Burt's taking on the oppressive forces of Big Mask.

Burt takes up a spirited defence of disgraced White Australia party candidate Bitumen Checkshirt, after news came out that he had shared some racist and sexually baffling memes on Facebook.

Yes, it's that time again – Election Watch! is in full swing as the nation prepares to go to the polls once more. Joining Burt in the studio is Gumleaf Overpass, politics editor for the Nationalist, to discuss the Treehuggers radical, far-left campaign to actually do something about climate change.

It's the end of an era, friends. The legendary Burtgold Franklap is packing up his Platinum Microphone and leaving DAG752. Now that political correctness has gone even madder still, and infiltrated our venerable conservative institutions to the point where you can't call [REDACTED] people [REDACTED] any more.

Let me be totally clear -- I, Burt Franklap, am NOT the "Sh*t Sprinter", but he is a PATRIOT defending free speech. And those nature strips were asking for it.

Stellar Battles actress Grace Park has quit social media following months of abuse from fans, in what was clearly a publicity stunt to elicit sympathy, and not the latest in a string of misogynistic ethno-nationalist attacks from the Stellar Battles fanbase.

Trans fats?? Back in my day fats were fats, and didn't expect me to respect their pronouns!

International advocate for the gender binary, Blorvin Checkmate, stopped by the studio to talk with Burt, and spread his word of pro-man agenda (or "mangenda").

Burt recounts the harrowing tale of two black people in the DAG cafe and bingo parlour, and how he saved the day.

Racy comedy legend Granthamite Prunt joins Burt to complain that political correctness has ruined the career he built on outdated and unfunny stereotypes.

Burt educates Margarine Validation from the National Literacy Council about the politically correct nightmare that is Dr Seuss.

Ballpoint Adhesive brings DAG listeners live updates on the Royal Baby, as Princess Flan parades the newborn and hopes her pelvic floor will hold out.

Burt paid a very special visit to NBN 389 this week, to teach them a thing or two about tradition, and hounding a brown woman who dared to speak without approval.

Bechamel Drampt from 'Those Poor Unfortunate Souls' joins Burt in the studio to talk about how we, as white people, can best help Aboriginal people without bothering them with 'questions' or 'empathy'.

A mentally-ill, lone-wolf white man drove a car into a crowd in what was definitely not a terrorist attack.

Burt gives some helpful, patronising advice on feminism to Glance Haberdash of the Global Women's Alliance.

Daily Shriek gossip editor Garnish Featherdrop joined Burt in the studio to talk pregnancy rumours, crows' feet, and the impossible standards of beauty faced by women in the public eye.

The newly-appointed leader of the Rural Family Alliance, Prolapse Angina, joins Burt to talk traditional values, and standing up in Parliament for the views of the people who got him there; specifically, the ones paying for his mistress's house.

After his nightmarish week imprisoned against his will, Burt confronts Barfly Adhesive, the Minister for Fairness, about the brutal, non-dairy alternative injustice he suffered.

Back in the studio after being incarcerated by the Greenie Gestapo, Burt's ready to reveal the horrible truth about this country's illegal prison nightmares (no, not THOSE ones -- this is one for rich white men!).

A secret message from Burt, who's being held in the Clementine Ford Political Correctness Detention Centre in a case that mirrors Nelson Mandela's imprisonment, if Nelson Mandela were locked up for saying "Christmas".

Leader of the Chinless Young Liberals, Cumquat Silverspoon, joins us in the studio to tell the story of how he came out as conservative to his friends and loved ones, at the risk of mild criticism.

The town of Dunny Lever is in shock after a woman and her children were found dead. We'll do some incredible grammatical gymnastics to keep referring to them in the passive tense, so we don't have to say that anyone in particular killed them, especially not the Good Bloke Husband and Father Who Just Snapped in a Totally Reasonable Way.

Senator Bradlam Cluster joins us in the studio to explain why guns are tools, and why gun control simply won't work so it isn't worth even trying.

Burt takes a bold stand against the new superhero, Black Marvel, for promoting an anti-white agenda (by which he means the movie isn't purely and entirely about white people).

Burt's not pulling any punches this week, taking aim at welfare cheats who rely on a rigged system to live under the poverty line rather than work and pay taxes and complain about dole bludgers like everyone else.

The Rad Kids Gang are a menace threatening the quiet lives of this city's hard-working white people, and I've believed that ever since I first heard about them this morning.

Now that we've talked about all the sexual harassment that I can possibly imagine happening, why not focus now on the GOOD men, who DON'T sexually harass people. There must be some of them out there to talk about!

After being cruelly punched in the face for merely antagonising protestors and advocating for a white ethno-state, poor alleged white supremacist Corbald Shriek joins us in studio to give his (incredibly racist) side of the story.

Those bleeding-heart lefties want to take away our Nation day, just because it's a celebration of a massacre, but when would they rather it be? Massacring indigenous people was just a way of life for white settlers, so EVERY day is probably the anniversary of one slaughter or another. What good would changing it do??

Privilege Tosswomble joins us to recount the harrowing details of how a poor, presumably innocent man in a "Hitler Was Right" shirt was viciously attacked after provoking protestors at a Maybe Stop Killing Black People rally this weekend.

We here at DAG 752 stand behind Gutteral Half-Knot in the wake of these baseless and alarmingly consistent allegations made against him. Clearly these women are doing this to boost their careers, like all those famous and successful celebrities who rose to the top by calling out rich, powerful men.

Merry Christian Christmas from the DAG752 family

It's that magical time of year, when Burt gets worked up about how he's apparently not allowed to say "Christmas" anymore, even though he says "Christmas" a lot with zero repercussions.

Tired of treating women as equals? Accidentally advanced the career of someone who looks different from you? Burt has a chat with Rub from the Brosperine Brofessional Network for Blokes about how men just can't get ahead anymore, and why men need a space to be unexamined, reflexive, toxic men.

Ampersand Wingman from the Persecuted Humans League is in to tell Burt why Christians are a minority, and how that makes them the real victims. Listen in for details on Ampersand's anti-marriage equality fundraiser for the "It's OK to Be a C*nt" campagin.

You, the listeners, have your say about same-sex marriage, how being called a homophobe is hurtful, and whether or not gay people actually exist.

The gyno-fascists are at it again, talking about "toxic masculinity" and getting all het up because of a few thousand abusive messages and death threats including their addresses. Burt knows that the REAL problem is that women have ~opinions~.

The NTN announced actor and known woman, Scarf Rhetoric, would be taking the handlebars of Professor Dimensionaut's legendary Magic Tricycle, so DAG's culture editor, Freckle Horseplay, joins Burt to sensibly and rationally explain why a woman can't be a space wizard in a fantasy TV show.

Following a wave of complaints, Burt addresses those who were offended by his use of the word ***** on a previous show.

An explosion at a football stadium has claimed several lives, but the authorities are too scared to admit who's to blame, even though we all know. Burt, on the other hand, won't let due process stop him from naming the culprit.

Nadia el Masri, the Hijabi horror herself, is up to her old tricks again, and Burt won't stand for it.

How can we call ourselves a free country when a patriot like Burt can be denied the children's menu treat simply because he's an ancient being decades past his prime? It's an outrage!

The lesbo-fascists have got their pitchforks out for snooker legend Bloris 'Blazer' Footballcoach after she stood up for traditional marriage, but Burt's got a few tough words for them!

In the news: a landslide has devastated a British county, but Burt knows the REAL culprit -- Muslims.

Burt takes Indigenous footballer Trevor Gumnut to task for his divisive comments at last night's Sparkie awards.

Bowman Madrigal drops by the studio to talk to Burt about sound investment strategies, how to save better, and growing wealth through patricide.

After the Treasurer announced this year's Federal Budget, some weren't happy, but Burt is strongly in favour of the Treasurer's stricter measures. But does the budget go too far, or does it not go too far enough?