Love, Marriage and Reality TV

One by one the couples are imploding. First, Clare and Cameron, and then, Lauren and Orion. Emily and Brennan can't be far behind. Becca and Austin continue to bring the schmoopy vibes and our only hope for a marriage that lasts. Eileen explains the Australian public health campagin known as "Slip, Slap and Slop" to explain Cameron's hideous paddle boarding getup and John and Eileen agree that short is better than bald.

Oh, Austin and Becca, please don't let us down. You are our only hope. Cameron and Clare look like they could be the first to go. Eileen has a possible theory about what's going on with Cameron. Emily managed to pull it together to meet the parents, and Orion and Lauren are now bonnet buddies.

Just one more episode in (a few hours into the marriages) and we've already changed out minds. Orion and Lauren, our previous favorite couple, now have us predicting divorce. Cameron of Cameron and Clare started out strong at the wedding and had us hopeful, but, sadly, our hopes were dashed during the reception. Emily and Brennan continue to be the marriage most likely to be a dumpster fire. Which leaves us with Becca and Austin, our only hope for a happy ending.

We see the rest of the couples at the altar and find out exactly why Michael was rocking the crown and sword.

John and Eileen are breaking down the couples breaking the news to friends and disapproving family, selecting gowns and tuxes, the bachelor and bachelorette parties and our first wedding! We're also introduced to the phrase "girth certificate."

It's time to kick off another season of Married at First Sight US. Eileen and John will introduce you to this season's band of singles who have strangely chosen reality TV instead of therapy.

The couples return to Houston to live together for the first time as husband and wife, but settling into day-to-day life is a rough transition for anyone. Now our stranger spouses are challenged with the struggles of everyday life and the decision to fight for their marriages--or flee from them.

The honeymoon continues in the Florida Keys for just four of our couples. Despite trying exciting new activities and taking stabs at romance, some start to learn that their differences are greater than they imagined.

Five pairs of newly-wed strangers are whisked away to the Florida Keys and begin the journey of learning who they've just married. While one groom learns that his bride is very hard to please, another couple's honeymoon is over before it even begins.

For the first time, our five couples are waking up married to a stranger. But before they can leave on their honeymoon, each spouse will have brunch with their new in-laws. While some are readily accepted into the family, others learn information they'd rather not know, including a warning that one bride is likely to “explode.”

After the final two couples marry their stranger spouses, the brides and grooms enjoy their first dinners, first dances, and first introductions to family. And when they head to bed together for the very first time, sparks fly for some, while others put up barriers–literally.

Mykaela and Zack have their wedding day, and they're both very happy with what they see at the altar. Johnny and Bao have their traditional tea ceremony and their first dance. Myrla continues to reveal her horrible personality while shopping for her wedding dress and getting ready for her wedding day. Pool Gil - he's too good for the hot mess coming his way. Jose gets the tackiest tuxedo known to man. Ryan continues to act like he's on Xanax 24/7, while Brett is hopeful for their marriage.

We see all the couples picking out their wedding attire and the bachelor and bachelorette parties. Finally, we see the wedding of Bao and Johnny.

John and I dip our toes into the Love Island UK world with Season 7, Episode 1, and run away screaming. We meet all the singles and see them get paired up, all while having inane conversation and laughing at things that are most definitely NOT funny,

Season 13 of Married at First Sight in Houston kicks off with the Matchmaking Special. So far, not seeing any couples that have staying power, but lots of people that need therapy instead of a reality TV show.

It's the final committment ceremony, and everyone sees what Sam was really thinking about Lizzie and Ines. More importantly, everyone, including Dan, gets to see what Jess was up to this season.

It's the final dinner party and while everyone starts off being polite and reserved, Cyclone Cyrell is in full force and the dinner party quickly escalates.

Heidi and Mike leave the experiment and spend one week apart before the final commitment ceremony.

IAfter a week apart where they talked to friends and family and stared out windows, it's decision day for Jess & Dan, Jules & Cam, Ning & Mark and Martha & Michael.

Mike plans the worst final date, while Cam plans the perfect final date. Mike and Heidi break up and get together about ten times over the course of 24 hours. Jess flaunts the perfect relationship she has with Dan at the dinner party and meets the ire of Ning and Jules. Dan sees a side of Jess that he doesn't like.

At the committment ceremony, Jess finally comes clean about her and Dan and asks the experts to allow her to come back into the experiment with Dan. After the committment ceremony, the couples swap partners for a "date." Finally, the couples have a final date. Will Ning and Mark finally get it on?

Jess and Dan manage to deflect suspicion about their relationship. Jess sabotages Ning and Mark's relationship to throw attention away from her. At the dinner party, Mike confronts Jess about the allegations about Mark. Jess and Dan decide to come clean and say leave at the committment ceremony and ask the experts if they can re-enter as a couple. Martha stirs the pot like aways.

Susie and Billy and Cyrell and Nic leave the experiment and Jess says stay, forcing Mick to stay another week. Jess and Dan meet for a secret date. Heidi and Mike fight over him being inconsiderate.The couples meet with families and friends.

Billy and Mick both have zero f*cks to give, while Jess is laying it on ridiculously thick so she can stay another week to get to know Dan. Billy sees Susie's father and meets her friends and learns that everyone allows her to be a brat. Nic takes Ivan's advice and leaves Cyrell's house, and Cyrell shows up to the dinner party with no ring. At the dinner party, Cyrell reveals that Jess told her she wanted to f*ck Dan. Jess has secret meetings with everyone and is called out by Cyrell.

Jess tried to convince the group that she's staying another week because of Mick, and not Dan. Tamara wonders why she and Dan aren't making more progress. Billy finally puts his foot down and says leave, only to have Susie drag him through another week. Then we move on to home visits with the brides. Cyrell throws Nic in the path of Hurricane Ivan and Jess forces Mick to apologize for her sister.

Mick insults Jess's family, and Jess sets her sights on Dan at the dinner party. Heidi finds another reason why she and Mike won't make it. Cyrell and Nic and moving back in together after a successful home visit. Jules and Cam are as in love and happy as always. And for some reason, Susie and Billy are still together.

Newlyweds Billy and Susie and Tamara and Dan move in to their apartment. At the committment ceremony, Mel and Dino both call it quits. Mick says leave and Jess says stay and Nic says leave and Cyrell says stay, so they are both in for another week. John, the expert, tells off Susie for belittling Billy. Next we have home stays, where the couples go to the see their male partners' homes. Billy and Susie reach a breaking point when he tells her to leave his apartment.

New copies Tamara and Dan and Billie and Susie are on their honeymoons. Cyrell comes for Martha after Martha asks Nick if he flirted with Jess at the last dinner party. At the dinner party, Melissa reveals that Dino recorded a conversation she had with her sister, Jess tells Nick she has feelings for him and Nick puts her off and finally Jess sights her sights on Dan, being completely obvious about it.

It's the most dramatic committment cermony, with Ines and Sam's shenanigans being exposed (partially). All the copies stay except for Ines and Bronson and Sam and Elizabeth. Then we are introduced to two new couples, Tamara and Dan, and Susie and Billy. We learn Susie's daughter's name is Baby, and Billy's nerves may tank this relationship before it can even get started.

The couples are wrapping up their Gold Coast Trip, but not before ladies' night and gentleman's night. Elizabeth returns and rumors about Sam and Ines fly. Then at the dinner party, Mike and Heidi's relationship gets shaky, Ines and Sam deny the rumorsof their fling, Bronson is obliviously happy, and Ines gets a little taste of karma.

Lots of drama as we lose the first couple in the experiment. Ines and Sam are still plotting to hook up, while Bronson enjoys the positive direction Ines and his relationship is going. Jules and Cam still in love, blah, blah, blah.

Okay, we screwed up on our first try at recapping episodes 11 & 12. Lesson learned: don't record the podcast while hungover. Anyway, this is our re-do, which, is possibly better than the first?

We have arrived at the first committment ceremony where Ines is awful and Bronson drops the c-word. Then the couples move in together, and Ines contacts Sam on social media trying to hook up.

The honeymoons for Martha and Michael, Ines and Bronson and Lauren and Matthew are coming to a close. Martha and Michael are getting closer, Lauren punches Matthew's v-card after a night in the hospital brings them closer together, and Ines still hates Bronson. The second half brings us to the first dinner party with a surprise appearance by Sam.

We meet the succubus bride, Ines, and her poor, unsuspecting ex-stripper husband, Bronson. As a palate cleanser, we see the "My Big Fat Greek Wedding" of Martha and Michael.

Make-up artist Lauren, and virgin Matthew are married. Despite awkward, spontaneous wedding singing, they seem to be off to a good start. On the otherhand, trainwreck Lizzie and Sam make it one night before he's flying out of the country.

We are on to the honeymoons for the first six couples. Two out of six may NOT end in a fiery crash. Pretty good odds for MAFSA.

We meet Heidi & Mike, who have instant chemistry, and Ning & Mark, who have whatever the opposite of chemistry is - indifference, revulsion?

Our hopes for real couples are dashed, but our hopes for great reality TV are realized when we meet the next to couples, model Jessica & farmer Nick and celibate talent agent Mel & fake new age guru Dino.

We meet our first couples, Jules & Cameron and Nick & Cyrell, and wonder if there might actually be some real couples this season.