Resentfully Yours

You taken time for yourself. You've followed your curiosities. You're charging what you should be. And you've set up boundaries like a boss. So you should be set, right?   Surprisingly, this is when you're likely to hear the most vocal feedback of all.   You know you're on the right path when you're making people uncomfortable. The trick is to not let their discomfort allow you to think you're doing something wrong.   In the season finale, I'm wrapping things up by talking about what it really looks like when you're on the right path. I share what it's been like for me to receive negative feedback and the moment I realized the things I was being called out for were the exact things that my people desired in a leader.   No matter how many followers you have, no matter how great your work is, you'll have haters. Here's how to avoid letting their criticism spoil your party and your potential.

We spend a lot of time seeking our purpose.   We hire coaches to help us build a strategy. We read books to understand possibilities. And we look to others for inspiration.   As we focus on chasing success, we lose focus on what we want. We're so busy chasing the dream that we forget to define the dream in the first place.   But what if we have it all wrong? What if to find a meaningful career, we must first define what we want out of life. In an age where we're working longer than ever, doesn't it make sense to enjoy life along the way?

No matter how we try to separate them, our lives will always affect our work. Yet we put so much effort into trying to push through and make things seem like they're fine, even when things are falling apart behind the scenes.   What would it look like to be more authentic when someone asks, "How are you?" If we weren't worried about their reaction, could we be more honest with them and ourselves?   If you're going to pour yourself into your craft, you must pour into yourself first.    On this episode I'm sharing what I uncovered after 36 years of avoiding therapy, why we wait for a wakeup call to realize things aren't working as they are, and how to pay attention to those little nudges before they become blatant red flags.

There's nothing that leads to resentment as much as money does.   "Mo' money, mo' problems." "I don't get paid enough for this." "That's above my paygrade."   There's an inherant tension between what we're willing to deliver and what we're getting paid. When we charge too little we feel taken advantage of. And when we charge more than we have before, it's easy to default to overdelivering.   And while we've heard "charge your worth," what does that really mean?    On this episode I'm sharing why your price shouldn't be dictated by what others are charging, how to aim for an equal energetic exchange, and why being good at sales is different than being capable of delivering what you're selling.

Girl boss. Once an empowering battle cry, this phrase now divides women.   "I'm not a girl boss. I'm a boss," writes someone on LinkedIn. At the same time, entire communities are selling using terms like "ShEO" and "Mompreneur."   The issue lies not so much in the name, but the culture — the culture that says you can do it all, be it all, and have it all before 9am. It's exhausting and diengenuous. And while it might sell spots in your program, it's unlikely to be sustainable.   On this episode I'm breaking down how the girl boss culture craze has affected women (and men) in business, why we should never downplay the importance of experience, and how you can deliver value outside of a 5-step framework.

Everyone wants to stand out. But how many are willing to stomach the discomfort that comes from being misunderstood — from opening themselves up to public commentary?   To think your new way of doing things, counter ideas, and critical point of view will be accepted from the get-go is to set yourself up for failure. Yet, when we realize that we don't have to win everyone over, we can lean into the deep knowing that there's always someone out there looking for just what we have to offer.    On this episode I'll share why "more" isn't the metric we need to be focused on; how to drop people-pleasing tendencies; and why instituting solid boundaries will make you a better, more profitable, and happier creative.

Authentic. This word is having its moment.   Everyone is striving to prove their authenticity through "transparent" and "vulnerable" posts. The trend has moved beyond the self help industry, now showing up in conference rooms and marketing plans. Because if you're not authentic you're not to be trusted, right?   Along the way we've lost sight of what the word means, choosing instead to synonymize authenticity with being an open book. An unintended side effect? Those of us who have something to share but don't want to share our whole lives remain in the shadows.   In this episode we're exploring how to show up as a human at work, connecting with people through our experiences. I share how I decided to branch off my personal brand from my business and interrupt the most common myths about building one.   If you're yearning for a space to let your real self breathe, this episode is for you.

Burnout. We've all heard about it. Most of us have experienced it. But how many of us are familiar with our individual triggers — the warning signs that tell us where we're headed?   Because our society is obsessed with productivity, "I'm taking some time off," leads to eye rolls and whispers. We feel as if we must have a good excuse for slowing down: a medical condition, caretaking, or other issue out of our control.    So how do we change direction when we're bottoming out?   How can we create when we aren't really living?   On this episode we're talking about time — having enough of it, what to do with it, and how to reclaim it.

Control over the future. It's what we reach for when we we're stuck, unclear, or growing.   We believe we'll find the answer we're looking for if we just work harder to find it. If we can just can show up differently, we'll feel differently. We'll project differently.   But lack of clarity is rarely solved by a hiring a talented person. An evolution won't speed up just because we rebrand. And you can't find your passion if you're constantly staying in motion.   On this episode I'm talking about why urgency is not the answer, how to react when clients demand a rush job, and why productivity culture makes it so hard to recognize lessons in this in-between phase.

There are plenty of stories of people who were shot into the spotlight. The ones who Oprah featured on her 12 Days of Christmas. Who were tweeted by a celebrity. Who's friend's friend knew someone.   And these stories are alluring. They tell us to keep working as hard as possible — that hard work is what will lead us to success.   So what happens when you're toiling away and only seeing incremental growth? Are you doing something wrong?   No, you're not. In this episode we're talking about why it's harmful to believe in your professional fairy godmother and what you can do instead to ensure you'll reach your goals.   Hint: it has a little something to do with rejecting the notions others have of what it looks like to be successful and woring towards the larger than life vision you've stored away for yourself.

Staying in a job you hate because you're almost eligible for 5 weeks vacation. Creating work that no longer brings you joy but brings you clients. Marketing a program you thought you wanted to offer but now feels like a strain.   These are all examples of staying the course because you committed to it, you spent money on it, or you dedicated time to it.   But what if that cost could never be recouped? In today's episode we're talking about sunk costs — those things you've already paid for that can never be recovered. The examples in this episode will help you recognize past decisions that may be keeping you from future gains.   If you're being called to change your mind or your direction but there's something holding you back, this episode is for you.

I never considered myself a creative person growing up and my stick figure drawings proved me right. But as I've grown I've realized being a creative is more about how you think than it is about what you produce.   People who engage in creative work for a living can't help but do so. We feel a tug at our soul unlike others. And we get immense satisfaction from the process. But at some point our drive becomes all consuming. Our personhood becomes intertwined with our output, making the professional personal.    So how do we make a life bigger than our work? How do we find balance when our professional sometimes gives us immense meaning?   In this first episode of Resentfully Yours I explore the difference between loving your work and living for your work. If you're struggling to step out of being "on," one single question will help you reconsider where you spend your energy and your time.

Join host, Kim Wensel, as she introduces a new podcast series for creatives, business owners, and experts who are grappling with how to prioritize their personal ambitions alongside the demands of their day-to-day work. This show provides the perfect blend of personal experience and research, helping you to answer questions like: How do I show up for myself and as myself when I get paid to focus on the needs of others? Is it possible to take time away without risking everything I've worked for? How do I change direction without starting over? Each 20-minute episode will focus on avoiding the common pitfalls that shift our work from meaningful to miserable.  If you've thought of burning it all day and moving to a remote island, this show is probably for you.  If you're craving more creativity in your work, this show is for you. If you're just tired of being tired, this show is for you.