Things I’d Tell My Younger Self

Changing our perspectives and seeing our experiences from a different point of view can help us make different shifts in our lives that can help us overcome making the same mistakes or choices in the future. 

Often times not only do we ignore the red flags we see in others, but we also take responsibility for them. We use them as an excuse to tear ourselves down for not recognizing them and excusing them. Understanding that while we need to be watching for them while also understanding that we don't make them behave the way they do. We can't take responsibility for how others choose to treat us.

When we are in an abusive relationship we can quickly lose who we are. When we are out of that relationship, and the fog lifts, we have the opportunity to find out who we are and what is important to us. 

If we are in an abusive situation and we finally get out it can be all to easy to fall into another situation that is less than ideal. How can we protect ourselves to ensure we don't do this and repeat the cycle all over again? In this weeks episode I discuss some things I wish I could tell my younger self about avoiding the pitfalls of ending up in another bad situation. 

When we meet someone there are sometimes red flags that we overlook, but why? How do we forgive ourselves for overlooking the things we should be looking at more fully? What do we do with the things we don't want to see in others but that aren't healthy for us? Finding peace with those troublesome things can be a challenge, and in this weeks episode I discuss these things.  

At the young age of 16 I was married and had a baby. Sometimes life puts us in situations where the best option isn't a good option. Finding the meaning behind these things can be a challenge, but it is usually there under the surface. 

When I was 16 I was pregnant and alone. Where do we go when we feel we are at our lowest point and no way to know where to go from there? Finding our own strength can be incredibly hard to do when we don't know how to do that.

How do we reconcile others misjudgement of us? Sometimes others may think they know the truth of a situation, but that may not be true. Dealing with the fallout of other misjudging us and thinking we did something we didn't do can be hard to deal with. In this weeks episode I discuss such an incident that happened to me. 

When is it okay for us to create boundaries with people, even if they are family? In this weeks episode I share a story about when boundaries should have been established and what I wish I could tell my younger self about setting them sooner to preserve my own well being.

Trigger Warning: This episode discusses  self harmWhen we have to face traumatic things it can be difficult to reconcile how feeling with how overwhelming the situation is for us. Learning how to show ourselves grace and compassion can help us heal from traumatic experiences. In this weeks episode I discuss how my moms attempt of self-harm affected me and what I wish I could go back and tell my younger self.

Sometimes the moments or places we have such high hopes for to be wonderful aren't, but how to reconcile that disappoint and overcome it? In this weeks episode I discuss one such situation for me and what I would tell my younger self. 

When I was in about the 4th grade I had to deal with a difficult situation, one that I felt made me unlovable and unwanted. Sometimes the circumstances we find ourselves in can make us feel like we are not wanted, but that may not be true. I am challenging that in this weeks episode. 

Sometimes in life we face choices that can be hard to make. However, other times when we make those choices they may be just what we need to turn our lives around. The choice I made to have a baby at 16 was a hard one to make, but it turned out to be the biggest blessing in my life. Seeing how the hard choices we make can be the thing that we need in our life is something that can help us find peace in the things that we decide. 

When I was younger I dealt with a lot of food scarcity, and that living condition created in me a long term scarcity mindset that has been a struggle to overcome. How do we overcome this when we live in scarcity for so long? On this weeks episode I discuss this and what I wish I would tell my younger self. 

In life sometimes we can feel like we are thrown into the deep end of things and not know how to get out. It can be overwhelming to feel like we are just surviving and barely making it. However, it is important to recognize our own strength and abilities and how amazing we are to keep pushing forward and enduring through things that want to drown us. 

Trigger Warning: Sexual AssaultWhen we have traumatic events that have happened to us it can cause us to be stuck in those moments well into the future. If we can find the courage to heal those traumatic experiences we can take back our power and find peace within ourselves. We don't have to be stuck in the trauma if we make the choice to face those dark things that we sometimes experience in life.

Even if we don't understand why others seem different from us, it is important to show kindness to others. Those we meet may be going through challenges we don't know and showing them kindness may be the only bright spot in their day. Our kindness towards others may ease their burdens and help them to keep pressing forward. 

Even when others don't believe in our ability to succeed we should keep pressing forward. Ultimately it is us that has to do the work for our success, and while it is nice to have others in our corner sometimes that doesn't happen. Keep pushing forward even if you have to do so alone because in the end the success we experience could be that much sweeter. 

When children are asked to deal with adult situations it can cause a lot of confusion and stress for that child. How can they know what the right decisions to make when they aren't mature enough, or even developmentally capable to make those decisions. Protecting the vulnerability of children should be a top priority. When we make decisions when we are in survival mode we also need to have grace for ourselves and the decisions we make. In this episode I discuss how those decisions we make when we are surviving can seem like the wrong ones, but maybe we shouldn't have been put in the position in the first place. Having understanding for ourselves and where we are coming from when we make tough choices can help us have peace in those moments. 

Growing up my home life looked very different from my friends, but why was that? How can we learn to look on the injustices we face with an understanding for personal growth? Sometimes we get dealt an unfair hand in life, but how can we use those challenges to help us become better instead of bitter? In this episode I share a story of how the hand I was dealt could have left me feeling resentful and bitter, but instead I used it as a way to decide how I want my life to be better. 

Do others choices define us? Do the actions of others say something about us? Do the choices of others speak to our importance? How can we overcome the thoughts of what others do meaning something about us as individuals? In this episode I share what I would tell my younger self when she struggled with these thoughts. Also, how to work past those intrusive thoughts that the actions of others say something about us and our worth.