Podcasts about garrett it

Garrett and Danielle have a conversation about the three components necessary in order to create favorable conditions for communication inside your marriage. *This is an encore presentation of a previously aired episode from 2018. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: The Mirror in the Closet Danielle has a mirror and bench inside her closet which comes in handy for the “get it done” sex. “It’s a good view for us both: He’s got his mirror and I’ve got my shoes,” says Danielle. Garrett: It’s awesome. Not only is it great sex, but it’s also visual content and stimulus for my mind for days. QUESTION How can you spice up your “get it done” sex? Point #2: Date Your Wife Podcast  Garrett came to Danielle last year at this time and told her they were going to be doing a weekly podcast called Date Your Wife. At the time of this recording, they are ready to hit their 50th episode which represents at least 25 hours of communication. Garrett: The podcast was a favorable condition that we created with time, energy, and money, and has proven to be the best therapy of all time for us. QUESTION What favorable conditions have you created in order to have better communication with your spouse? Point #3: Lacking Sex? If you’re a guy and sex is not happening, it’s a guarantee that what is also not happening is communication – direct, intimate communication which is the ability to communicate and connect. If you have not invested time, energy, or money to create those conditions, then you also cannot be entitled to the results that come through sex and connection. QUESTION Where in your relationship are you investing money and energy, but not time? Point #4: Date Night You must create favorable conditions for communication on your dates. If you are always going out with friends and family for your Date Nights, that is not an environment where the two of you are able to have deep, intimate conversation. Garrett enjoys getting together with other couples about once a month, but anything more than is too much, even if they’re good friends because it turns into Team Girls and Team Guys instead of the one-on-one time together that they are desiring on their dates. QUESTION What has been your Date Night pattern? Point #5: Time, Energy, and Money If you’re going to create communication, you must be willing to create favorable conditions for communication. You’re going to have to invest time, energy, and money at some level, whatever it is. Many men will not invest the time and energy, but will invest the money, or will invest the time and energy, but not invest any money. All three components of the Trifecta must be present. QUESTION What portion of the Trifecta are you missing? Communication Challenge: Figure out how you’re going to create favorable conditions for communication inside your marriage. Date Night Topic: What can you add to your sex life to spice up those times when you have the “let’s get it done” sex? Quote of the Week: “You must be willing to invest to create favorable conditions for communication to exist.” —Garrett J White “Women look to men for safety and security. In reaching for that safety and security you have to look inward and realize that you are part of creating your own safety and security inside of that relationship.” —Danielle K White

*This week's episode is a special encore presentation of a previously published episode of the Date Your Wife podcast.* This week Garrett and Danielle tackle the topic of money as dual producers. Their marriage was on the verge of divorce when Danielle found motivation to take care of herself as a possible single parent, ultimately leading to the success we see today with her salon, DKW Styling, and in her technique known as Natural Beaded Rows.   Point #1: Inside the Pit of Chaos During the time they were knocking on the door of divorce, Garrett was reeling from the market crash and had stopped producing. There’s an interesting game that plays out inside of money when the man isn’t producing, and together they were trying to figure it all out. During that transition, it really depolarized them as a couple energetically. Danielle realized she could help out financially and began turning her business into something more than a hobby. She wanted to be taken care of and also wanted to have freedom from the guilt of buying nice things for herself, remembering how her mother worked so their family could have nice things beyond their basic needs. QUESTION How have you seen your roles altered inside your marriage when financial challenges have arisen? Point #2: The Fight For the Throne There was this huge shift of power that came about because of money. Garrett went from the king of the castle to the servant of the queen who had her feet on both thrones while simultaneously wearing both the King’s crown and the Queen’s crown. This is the reality of production: it’s not just about the topic of money, it’s about the power play of production. Many times when a man loses the ability to produce and provide, and loses trust inside of that relationship, the woman is forced to go into masculine mode in order to produce, which creates this whole different dynamic and challenge. Garrett was under assault and fighting for the throne that Danielle was sitting on. Gentlemen, you’re not getting the throne until you prove that you’re actually the man. QUESTION Where are you as a couple in this Game of Thrones?  Point #3: From Gucci’s to Steel Toed Dude Shoes Danielle felt like she was the man in the relationship. If Garrett was trying to control her she’d tell him “you don’t have a fucking leg to stand on right now.” She was constantly annoyed by him and always trying to pull the rug out from under him which led to a lot of wars. When Garrett started becoming more consistent, Danielle felt that the safety net was back and she could start letting up a little on her intensity of the hustle and grind. As she let up on the gas, Garrett began getting in her face to prove he was more powerful. They started to go to war in a different direction which killed their ability to communicate. QUESTION How have you experienced this dynamic as a couple?  Point #4: Selective Cheap Bastard Mode Danielle: Garrett’s not big on any holiday. Most people look forward to holidays but he doesn’t. My love language is all about the gifts, but his isn’t. He’ll give a bum $40 and yet forget my birthday or won’t do anything for it. I’ve now figured out a little trick that gets me what I want from Garrett. Garrett: There will be times when Danielle wants to do something financially and I am thinking “this is ridiculous, there’s no fucking way, I don’t get it.” On the flip side, when it comes to rebuilding a salon, I’ll turn the switch on and Danielle goes into cheap bastard mode saying, “No!” My justification with money is: if it’s an investment, I put the money in. QUESTION What are your ‘Cheap Bastard Modes?’ What dynamic does that create in your relationship? Point #5: The Collision Inside the Money Game After eight months of not going to battle, they found themselves in the middle of a war zone recently around the topic of business. This reminded Garrett of a ‘shit show’ they created years back while dining in a quaint little restaurant in Beverly Hills, where they were both losing their minds and Garrett was ready to throw the table across the room. Garrett: It comes down to this: People want to feel validated in their desires with money. I want to feel validated inside my world when it comes to what I want financially, and you want to feel validated that your opinion matters when it comes to what you want financially. QUESTION  Do you battle often as a couple? How much of that is ‘healthy collision’ and how much of it is a down right war zone?   Communication Challenge: Begin the conversation of validation and what it looks like for each of you inside of your relationship.     Date Night Topic: What is going to be the next stretch for you two as a couple financially that will pull you two forward? For us, it was our new home. What will it be for you?   Quote of the Week: The moment I began to see that my family was an investment, I began to see the value in myself even more.” —Garrett J White “If you are trying to go to the next level in any area of your life, just take a look at what is possible. A lot of people focus on their current reality and think, “I can’t possibly go there” instead of asking, “What if?” or “I wonder?” We are both entrepreneurs, and I know that moving forward is always an option, regardless of where we currently are.” —Danielle K White

Garrett and Danielle have a conversation about the three components necessary in order to create favorable conditions for communication inside your marriage. Every week married couple Danielle and Garrett J White share insights and perspectives from within their own lives regarding the following topics discussed each month: Week 1: Sex Week 2: Money Week 3: Parenting Week 4: Communication   In This Week’s Podcast….COMMUNICATION Point #1: The Mirror in the Closet Danielle has a mirror and bench inside her closet which comes in handy for the “get it done” sex. “It’s a good view for us both: He’s got his mirror and I’ve got my shoes,” says Danielle. Garrett: It’s awesome. Not only is it great sex, but it’s also visual content and stimulus for my mind for days. QUESTION How can you spice up your “get it done” sex? Point #2: Date Your Wife Podcast  Garrett came to Danielle last year at this time and told her they were going to be doing a weekly podcast called Date Your Wife. They are ready to hit their 50th episode which represents at least 25 hours of communication. Garrett: The podcast was a favorable condition that we created with time, energy, and money, and has proven to be the best therapy of all time for us. QUESTION What favorable conditions have you created in order to have better communication with your spouse? Point #3: Lacking Sex? If you’re a guy and sex is not happening, it’s a guarantee that what is also not happening is communication – direct, intimate communication which is the ability to communicate and connect. If you have not invested time, energy, or money to create those conditions, then you also cannot be entitled to the results that come through sex and connection. QUESTION Where in your relationship are you investing money and energy, but not time?   Point #4: Date Night You must create favorable conditions for communication on your dates. If you are always going out with friends and family for your Date Nights, that is not an environment where the two of you are able to have deep, intimate conversation. Garrett enjoys getting together with other couples about once a month, but anything more than is too much, even if they’re good friends because it turns into Team Girls and Team Guys instead of the one-on-one time together that they are desiring on their dates. QUESTION What has been your Date Night pattern? Point #5: Time, Energy, and Money If you’re going to create communication, you must be willing to create favorable conditions for communication. You’re going to have to invest time, energy, and money at some level, whatever it is. Many men will not invest the time and energy, but will invest the money, or will invest the time and energy, but not invest any money. All three components of the Trifecta must be present. QUESTION What portion of the Trifecta are you missing? Communication Challenge: Figure out how you’re going to create favorable conditions for communication inside your marriage. Date Night Topic: What can you add to your sex life to spice up those times when you have the “let’s get it done” sex? Quote of the Week: “You must be willing to invest to create favorable conditions for communication to exist.” —Garrett J White “Women look to men for safety and security. In reaching for that safety and security you have to look inward and realize that you are part of creating your own safety and security inside of that relationship.” —Danielle K White

Garrett, with 16 days since his last drink, shares his story   SHOW NOTES   [ 9:15 ] Paul Introduces Garrett.  I’ve had stretches of sobriety, I had 14 months, and I’ve had 3 years.  I live in Southern California, in Santa Clarita.  I work in outside sales, which is a non-structured job perfect for an alcoholic with hangovers.  I’m 43, married, like going to Dodger Games.  I have 2 kids, 1 in high school, and one in junior high.     [10:45] Paul- What was the impotence behind you quitting alcohol for 3 years, and then for 14 months?   Garrett- The hangovers for me are the body’s way of saying you’ve put a bunch of poison willingly in your body, and this is the result of it.  I would be laid out for a full day.  Thinking in the moment there is no possible way this could happen again.  The feeling in my stomach, I can’t move, or get out of the bed until 4:00 or 5:00 in the evening.  One of those times I stopped for 3 years, didn’t go to any program.  I lost weight, and started drinking again without any reason.  I would romanticize drinking, and once I got the buzz, there was no way I could stop now.  I would have to drink to continue with only a short window of feeling good.  The cost of that was being completely laid out the entire next day.   [13:35] Paul-  What was it like when you first drank after 3 years? Do you remember the first night?  Did you pick up right where you left off?   Garrett- No, not really.  It was a gradual thing, a slow buildup.  My elevator is kind of chaotic; it’s like the elevator at the tower of terror at Disney world.  At that point it was gradual.  I would wait for people to go to sleep, get a six-pack, and when that was gone, drunk drive to the liquor store and buy some more.  I would start with a bottle of wine, then I would go back to the store for tall boys.  I don’t know how many I would buy, but I would wake out, the room would start completely shaking, I would close my eyes, and that would be it.   [15:45] Paul-  Garrett you mentioned a word earlier that I would like to explore- Fascinating. You would tell yourself I’m only having a couple, but then just game on.   Can you tell me more about that fascinating part for you?   Garrett- It was complete and total amnesia every single time.  Forgetting the hangovers.  The amount of times I would lose not doing the things I wanted to do because I would be hung-over.  Because I’m not a bum in the street, I didn’t feel I was a true alcoholic.   [19:30]  Paul- Was there a rock bottom moment 16 days ago?   How come you quit drinking?   Garrett- It wasn’t a single rock bottom.  I have season tickets for the Dodgers.  If there was ever a sport made for sitting and drinking beer it is baseball.  The beer vendor at the stadium recognized me; I would have to go different vendors because I was embarrassed.   The drunk driving home from the games, then going to bars, then drunk driving home again.  I dented the garage with my car, and realized with a moment of clarity that this sh#t has got to stop.   [22: 01] Paul- Before I hit the record button you mentioned you felt like you were ping ponging back and forth between:  Am I an alcoholic?  Do I have a drinking problem?  Tell us more about that.   Garrett-  It was a stretch of a few days where I would just continually have a few days (of sobriety), and then I would be like “I’m not” because I would have a few days and that proves it.  The hangover goes away and I would think I’m not (an alcoholic) again.    [ 24:00] Paul- Is it harder this time around, do you remember?   Garrett- This time I’ve got 16 days.  I’m trying to arm myself with some resources.  I’m in a Pink Cloud at the moment.  History does repeat itself, and I have a plan to address what I know is going to start coming down the road.  The key thing is accountability.  I never had accountability with another person.  I think if I were not anonymous, I wouldn’t have taken that first drink on the New Port Harbor cruise after 14 months of sobriety.   [27:57] Paul- You mentioned you had a bad experience with AA, tell me more about that.   Garrett-  I was raised Christian evangelical, about 10 years ago I broke with that, and I am an atheist now.  I saw a lot of the judgment, dogma and there was trust that was broken in AA.  That combined with the God thing I’m still wrestling with.  I need to focus on the positive.  I’m ready to explore going back to AA, maybe a different meeting time.     [30:14] Paul-  With 16 days of sobriety, what have you learned most about yourself?   Garrett-  This time around is more of a sense of inner peace.  What I’m realizing now is that I don’t have to keep living the way I was living.  There’s no reason I have to pick up a drink again.  My life does not have to be how it’s been.  I’m choosing not to drink.  When cravings strike, I’ve been setting a timer on my apple watch to allow the 20 minutes to pass.   [34:10] Rapid Fire Round What was your worst memory from drinking?  Waking up and having to tell my wife that I was too hung-over to go down to my mom’s house for Easter.  Then spending the entire day in a state of despair. Did you ever have an “oh-shit” moment?  Back in college when I just got too hung-over and missed a final.  That was the first “oh-shit” moment. What’s your plan in sobriety moving forward? Accountability.  Reaching out and talking to other alcoholics, and seeking ways to help each other. What’s your favorite resource in recovery? Podcasts, Recovery Elevator, and the big book on my kindle. What’s the best advice you’ve ever received (on sobriety)? You don’t ever have to drink again if you don’t want to. What parting piece of guidance can you give listeners who are in recovery or thinking about quitting drinking?  If you were thinking about getting sober… I would say: Do it, you’ll never feel better. You might be an alcoholic if:  Every night after you down many many bottles of beer, that you put those bottles of beer in a trash bag, put them in your trunk, and then the next morning drive them to a dumpster so that your wife doesn’t find out that there were all these empty bottles of beer in the trash can. Resources mentioned in this episode: Recovery Elevator Retreat Connect with Cafe RE- Use the promo code Elevator for your first month free Sobriety Tracker iTunes Sobriety Tracker Android Sober Selfies! - Send your Sober Selfie and your Success Story to info@recoveryelevator.com     “We took the elevator down, we gotta take the stairs back up, we can do this!”