Chai Chats Podcast

Malek and Parneet speak about building capacity for joy, play and peace. Each shares how they navigated neglect and violence, figuring out how to survive from infancy and the work and commitment in showing up for their little ones inside, now as adults in the process of parenting. Support us:https://www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

We share space with the amazing Sami, a sister-kin-bestie of Parneet. The three of us speak about spiritual work, transformative justice and the shadow that creeps in while doing the work, as well as surviving hardship, violence and oppression while moving steadfast towards love and peace.

We share space with the amazing Sami, a sister-kin-bestie of Parneet. The three of us speak about spiritual work, transformative justice and the shadow that creeps in while doing the work, as well as surviving hardship, violence and oppression while moving steadfast towards love and peace.

Malek and Parneet speak about purchasing land to find safer space, navigating financial choices, figuring out community living and relationships, and the journey to find and hold our own space. They speak about how to move through the various dimensions of an existence free from violence: intrapersonal, interpersonal, communal, systemic, and the cosmic. Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

Malek and Parneet speak about purchasing land to find safer space, navigating financial choices, figuring out community living and relationships, and the journey to find and hold our own space. They speak about how to move through the various dimensions of an existence free from violence: intrapersonal, interpersonal, communal, systemic, and the cosmic.

Malek shares with Parneet a post she recently wrote about the housing insecurity and domestic violence she is currently experiencing and has lived in all her life (tinyurl.com/malekspost) and together, they speak about the spiritual and political work they both do as Brown femmes to live inside of and to fight the violent systems of racialized capitalism and white supremacy. This conversation does the difficult, necessary work of connecting the systems we struggle against and navigate with the daily, granular work of standing in the power we do have as adults who choose to live consciously and with integrity. Illustration by Yuko Shimizu Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

Malek and Parneet speak about white supremacy and colonization as the riots in Minneapolis and throughout the US and Canada take place in justice of George Floyd, and other unarmed and innocent black folks getting killed. We decided to meet each other exactly where we're at and make space for what showed up. This is a conversation that is deeply rooted in a courageous, compassionate call for non-Black people of colour like ourselves to do what we can and to do better. What you'll hear is a passionately, painfully real conversation on how we're showing up for ourselves, for the people we're in relationship with and for the movement to respect/honour/celebrate Black life. We go deep on decolonizing ourselves and divesting from the psychosis that is white supremacy. We look at white supremacy through the lens of psychosis, as an illness of the mindbdysoul's disconnection from reality, and how to navigate and survive these deadly forces that pull us towards fear, hatred and disembodiment.

After a very long break, Malek and Parneet return to chai chats. The first part is spent discuss physical illness and health related practices as Parneet continues to navigate chronic health issues and Malek begins figuring out body needs with new health information. After, they both discuss the future of chai chats and the struggle in navigating differences in capacity, ability, commitment and how to show up to friendship when physical illness, mental illness, boundaries and needs don't always align.

Parneet and Malek speak about Vipassana in the midst of winter, how it feels moving towards liberation while unlearning abusive mind/body patterns and moving towards instinctive practices through messages that tell us otherwise. Content warning: Physical abuse, childhood abuse

For this episode, we are happy to listen in on the recording of an incredible event put on by SistersInMotion and Climate Justice Montreal called There's Something in the Water: A Book Launch & Community Discussion on Environmental Racism & Land Dispossession. For a full description of the event and soon to come video, visit this link here: https://www.facebook.com/events/775896309415465/ As always, if you like what we do and want to support us, visit our patreon: www.patreon.com/ChaiChats Opening by: 7:20 Sedalia Fazio (Kahnawá:ke) With: 16:32 Author Dr. Ingrid Waldron (Nova Scotia) 53:10 Vanessa Gray (Aawmjiwnaang) 1:13:50 Will Prosper (Montreal Nord) 1:39:45 Ellen Gabriel (Kanehsatà:ke) Panel Moderated by: 2:14:00 Bianca Mugyenyi (Montreal) 3:05:50 Q&A Sound recording by Sarah Shin Wong (https://sarahshin.studio/)

Big questions on the podcast this week as Malek, Dona and Parneet think about how to work and communicate effectively both as individuals and with others. Some topics include urgency vs. importance, pacing & sustainability, and the value of getting a third opinion. We also talk a lot about Malek & Dona's shared vision for SistersInMotion -- to find about more about the project visit sistersinmotionmtl.com If you enjoyed this podcast and want to give back, please consider contributing to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

This is a very vulnerable episode in which we each talk about our relationships as first-and-second-generation migrants to the places our families are from. We are so used to hearing about these countries from other (read: white) people's perspectives but what about those of us living in diaspora? How do remember and reconcile; relate and rebuild? If you enjoyed this podcast and want to give back, please consider contributing to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

We got together the day after our live show with Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarinsha to debrief and decompress. We of course talk again about her incredible book Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice and we get into some of our own access needs in how we communicate with one another plus some of the BTS process that went into the show. If you enjoyed this podcast and want to give back, please consider contributing to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

Welcome to our second annual live show with Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarinsha! First you'll hear Leah reading from their latest book Care Work: Dreaming Disability Justice and afterwards we all sit down together to discuss some of the themes in the book from ableism to creating care webs & collective access to femme leadership & hyper-accountability to all the time some of us are spending in bed. This podcast has been edited for length but the entire show was livestreamed on our FB page - check it out at facebook.com/ChaiChats/videos/998427567021726 Special thanks to all of the people and orgs who helped make this event happen (find them listed at facebook.com/events/289281308463575) and shout out to the folks doing this work on the ground like The DisAbled Women's Network of Canada and The Avalanche on CKUT 90.3FM. If you enjoyed this podcast and want to give back, please consider contributing to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

This conversation is inspired by Vivek Shraya's latest book I'm Afraid Of Men - we all agree it's incredible and encourage everyone to go read it. We talk about everything from our religious & cultural upbringings ("if bro-bro is lusting that ain't on me") to what our current understandings of femininity & masculinity are in service to. Plus we revisit Dona & Parneet's epic convo from the Our Earth Our Bodies episode! Malek actually interviewed Vivek about her book - find their convo at https://www.mcgilldaily.com/2018/11/vivek-shraya-im-coming-for-everyone-including-me. If you enjoyed this podcast and want to give back, please consider contributing to our Patreon: www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

This episode is a doozy. Its Parneet, Dona, with special guests Angie, Taha and later on SJ. We speak about everything from diva cups, to our real names, to remembering/not remembering certain names, video games, preparing duck for dinner, what to do with single socks, welding and whatnot. Image from Tumblr/Diva Cup Shots

Its just Dona and Parneet this time. We start with a blessing verse over breakfast and then speak about building the ability to freestyle, be creative, dance and stay creative. We discuss the difficulty in keeping creative momentum going and how space, family and social environment influences our internal experience of figuring out what we desire and going for it! We also speak about getting sexually harassed outside of a show by two white men and celebrate the ways we protected ourselves and our energy. We also speak about how difficult it is to negotiate our energy, space and boundaries as women and what it means to connect to instinct in this unpredictable misogynistic world that has forced women in many ways to unlearn/mistrust our instincts. We invite you to join us and yell NOOOO if it feels good to do so while putting your hand out in a STOP movement. May we all be safe and supported in all we do. If you enjoyed this podcast and want to give back, please contribute to our patreon: www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

This chai chats is Malek and Parneet. We speak about friendship and relationships, connection to each other and reaching out in times of sickness/unwellness and how vulnerable and difficult this is. We talk about how relationship building is part of the movement, how we need to learn to connect and stay in relation with each other with political movements. The ripple effect of how we relate to our own emotions affects how we relate interpersonally which affects how we relate systemically.

We share chocolate mousse cake on Dona’s couch and Malek speaks about how to live a life as a single person, how to settle down into the present experience rather than live as if waiting for something else to happen. We speak about the struggles in doing things for oneself, and share our unique experiences in moving towards self-love/self-hood. We speak about how our internal experience of aloneness can be so different based on the perspective we take on, whether we are judging/pathologizing that loneliness/aloneness and the quality of it experientially based on our pasts and histories. We speak about freedom and the pursuit of freedom being so unique to each of us based on our history, circumstances and personality.

We have a delicious breakfast together and speak about the important of speaking from our own experience, our own truths and how challenging it is to not centre other people in our narratives. How to navigate relationships with integrity? How do we participate in hurting each other and ourselves by not standing in our truth? We speak about our roles and responsibilities in each others lives in community, what jobs have we consciously and unconsciously taken on in trying to heal/help one another? We discuss the idea of what collective conflict resolution infrastructure looks like. We agree we don’t know anything as we try to figure this all out. Content Warning: We speak about blood a lot as a metaphor for how we spill our messiness on each other. Intro track: Lizzo Scuze Me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tjILCNcHevY If you enjoy our chats and would like to give back, support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

We speak about what we are looking for in relationships. Make some chai. Cut to talking about the ways in which meditation has changed us, our reality and way of navigating life. We speak about gaslighting vs. reality checking, and how to navigate receiving feedback when we are activated/triggered. We speak about the ways in which we may want to be called in/reality checked by our loved ones to help us notice when we are triggered. Oof, the trust that takes! We speak about social media addiction/dependency and the feelings that are so hard to be present with on a daily. We end with an epic tale from Dona about a time at burningman.

In the second part of this conversation, Dona and Parneet go deep in speaking about feelings and experiences of contraction and expansion, how to discern whether something is in service to us growing or not, whether nature is always moving towards life or death and how this impacts us as people, communities, and systems of relating. We speak about our hopes and dreams and end with a body practice of expression expansion. It was beautiful and we blew our own minds. Apologies for the nature sounds including the hilariously loud cicada insect, wind chimes and the never ending renovations. Hope you enjoy it. Support us on Patreon: www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

Dona and Parneet sit down for chai chats in Dona’s garden to go deep on the connect between relationships in nature and relationships between people and communities. We speak about the power of dreaming and curiosity for marginalized peoples. We speak about how difficult it is to access dreaming, joy and curiosity when we don’t feel safe. We speak about triggers and the ungodly order we put on one another in radical communities in trying to keep each other safe and responsibilize ourselves for each others emotions. Parneet shares her frustrations around the limitations and aggressions that happen when we believe we are responsible for not triggering each other and regulating each others emotions. Apologies for the nature sounds including the hilariously loud cicada insect, wind chimes and the never ending renovations. Hope you enjoy it.

Malek speaks about her depression. We discover what Parneet calls her shame gremlin, this recurring mental darkness that taints her everyday successes and impacts her life negatively. We discuss what it looks like to grow and accept our mental health at the same time. Parneet challenges the shame gremlins authority over Malek as it shows up during our chai chat. Dona and Parneet invite her to set boundaries and face this shame gremlin with courage. Metaphors for days as we exorcise the demons!

We speak about upcoming projects and trips. Malek shares worries about visiting family and we discuss how to feel resolve one sidedly when others are unable or unwilling to meet us in our resolution. We discuss what it means to accept and release the stuff that comes up from family. We slow down to honour what comes up for Malek as she notices whats happening for her in the conversation.

This week, Dona & Malek sit down with our dear friend Jordan to talk about, what else?, love! Jordan Goldman is an ASL-English Interpreter and graduate from the Program of Sign Language Interpretation at Douglas College, B.C. (2013). Check him out online! https://www.linkedin.com/in/jordan-goldman-45955673 Support us through Patreon! www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

This time we're diving deep into our relationship dynamics. We cover everything from the love languages (again) to our cultural grieving practices and how friends can support each other without burning out. Support us through Patreon! www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

We're back and so happy to welcome our friend, Priya, to the podcast! We talk about everything from concious cuddling to how we were raised to anger and healthy ways to get it out. Support us through Patreon! www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

The gang is silly in this episode. We talk a bunch of riffraff and we hope you like it. All things are discussed including the evolution of rapper names like Puff Daddy and Snoop lion, we talk about an amazing workshop from D’Bi Young that the three of us attended last week, and the value of having others join us in our walk towards self integration. Support us through Patreon! https://www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

Parneet’s mom Punita joins us in this episode. We talk about spending time together, learning how to prepare indian food and the evolution of meditation in Parneet's family. Punita speaks about her experiences growing up in India, the changes that she’s witnessed over the years in connection to food, and her experiences as a teacher. We talk about the power of matriarch is passing on wisdom and knowledge from generation to generation and the deep respect we feel for those who do not have matriarchal role models yet have found ways to reclaim power within themselves

Dona, Parneet and Malek continue to speak about growing up, family bonds and the way to move through conflict including creating a culture of conflict resolution, conflict infrastructure and how to stay connected in spirit even when resolution is not possible. Support us: https://www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

In this episode Parneet, Malek and Dona speak about the trauma and hurt that comes with the diaspora experience of being children of immigrants. We speak about the early experiences of being white washed and the hurt on the body this has had. Parneet gets emotional speaking about the loss growing up within whiteness and we process together the certain abusive family dynamics that left us feeling at times unable to care for ourselves as adults. Please support us: https://www.patreon.com/ChaiChats Trigger Warning: family abuse, trauma, childhood abuse

Malek, Parneet and Dona continue speaking about the importance of fire, earth, water and air in community organizing. The importance and limits of anger, rage, groundedness, and love. Speaking about how to resource within and outside of our communities as a process of learning and unlearning to combat the lateral violence that is so prevalent in radical communities. Dona shares her incredible wisdom on learning from plants and nature in what radical restoration looks like: the nature of sharing, exchange, self sufficiency and relationships. We love you all who support and listen. We really hope our chats serve you in your own lives. Please support us: https://www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

Malek, Parneet and Dona share breakfast together and talk about all things random. How to prepare your belly for a big meal, astrology and aligning with the stars, balancing the elements in community organizing, how to market your magic and as always, and of course, setting boundaries. We speak about cyber boundaries and bullying and the importance of setting limits not only on what, and where we speak about but how we speak to each other through disagreements to move towards radical restoration in our communities. Contribute to our Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ChaiChats Kalmunity Vibe Collective: https://www.facebook.com/Kalmunity/

Its a new season! Outside and Inside. Malek and Parneet welcome Dona in being a part of chai chats as we set the intention to start meeting again after a long pause. In this episode, we speak about struggles moving forward, realizations from last season and Beyoncé. Support us on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/ChaiChats

This week we discuss internalized classism and supporting folks who are victims of domestic abuse through a harm reduction perspective. We also discuss the scheduling for our podcast and inform our beloved listeners that unfortunately, our podcast will no longer be recorded on a consistent basis! We hope to record more episodes in the future but are not sure at this moment when that will be! For now, we hope to continue to keep all past episodes online and agreed to split the cost of the soundcloud page between the three of us. If you would like to help us with the costs of keeping the episodes available, you may support us through our Patreon! However, an important note to our current Patreon subscribers: feel free to adjust your donations accordingly, as we know our podcast has changed! We feel good about this development as it has it roots in self care & boundaries which have been almost constant themes throughout our podcast. Thank you for listening along with us on this journey !

This week Malek and Nicole explore the phrase "This isn't working for me" and how it relates to setting boundaries our lives. Why it is so hard to say? What are the consequences when we don't say it? We talk about how often people DO communicate this idea, but in an unclear way and without words. We explore examples such as the difficulties setting boundaries with friends when you live with chronic illness.

recorded just after last weeks episode - Nicole & Parneet share songs they wrote :)

In this episode we check in about how folks are feeling about putting the last 2 episodes up, and end up discussing fear of being policed & making mistakes in leftist/social justice communities.

In this episode, the trio continue speaking about the difficulties and impact from the relationship dynamics having changed. They speak about the difference between something happening in the outside world and the interpretations made inside. They speak about compatibility, assumptions and speaking truths. We felt it was important to publish this episode because we wanted to stay committed to our intention of authenticity and being real about what is alive for us at the time. We hope our vulnerability is respected and acknowledged

In this episode, Parneet brings up feeling uncomfortable about being in the podcast because of feeling like the foundation of the relationship changed since Nicole moved out. Nicole speaks about feelings of unsafety during a house conflict and the three of them have a difficult conversation about what happened during that time, how they felt, how they were impacted and how to move forward in keeping the podcast alive. We felt it was important to publish this episode because we wanted to stay committed to our intention of authenticity and being real about what is alive for us at the time. We hope our vulnerability is respected and acknowledged

Parneet and Malek speak about when to listen and respond with feelings, when to wait and observe feelings, how to navigate the challenges of honoring how we feel with the awareness that there are so many parts within us saying different things. Syd the dog takes a bath, we order pizza, and speak about some other random shit!

In this episode we recommend another great podcast - By The Book! Parneet defines "processing" for us, a term we use lots on this podcast - We also talk about addictions to others - codependency, Love & Sex Addictions. Also this episode contains, at the end, a plug for an AMAZING event coming up in Montreal - the 3rd Sisters In Motion - A Poetry Showcase Featuring Black, Indigenous, and racialized Women & Femmes. This event has a closed stage but is open to anyone to be in the attentively listening audience :) ALSO, this episode contains a BRAND NEW SPOKEN WORD PIECE BY SPOKEN WORD ARTIST PARNEET CHOHAN, who will also be performing at Sisters In Motion!! also it is important to note that the image for this Episode is a page from Sarah Anderson's amazing webcomic Sarahs Scribbles

S2E6 - Beams of Light by Chai Chats Podcast

In this episode, we talk about catcalling, how to stay present and grounded in the face of street harassment, challenging intentions vs. impact of the men in our lives, and facing our own inner demons in trying to heal. Respect to all the femmes out there this summer being brave while looking beautiful :)

In this episode our friend Dona joins us in speaking about decolonizing communication, speaking from the heart and emotion and unlearning internalized toxic masculinity as femmes.

Parneet, Malek and Nicole were too stoked to stop talking so this episode is part deux of the breakups conversation. We speak about needs, therapy and what happens when starving people try to feed each other.

Sorry for the break! Speaking of breaks, Malek and Parneet talk about breakups and breakdowns and breakthroughs while Nicole badassedly runs errands on a Saturday morning.

It’s Season 2! In this episode Malek and Nicole share poetry. Parneet felt too vulnerable to keep her poetry in the recording but speaks about yet another revelations she had at her fourth Vipassana sitting. We are so excited to start up again after a long break.

We celebrate our one year! This is our live show! We sing our theme song, reflect on the year, do some stand up comedy and answer audience questions. Our apologies about the static and feedback. Caution in using headphones. We tried our best

In advance of our show tomorrow night, we give you the chai song. Enjoy!! https://www.facebook.com/events/733836000106808/