How I Dealt With It

'Okay distraction'- that's how Urban Dictionary defines a rebound. A person, that you "use" to get over someone you broke up with.  "On their own, rebounds will never be enough. But they can be an okay distraction." Rude!  But even though rebounds can be awkward; they can also be weirdly comforting. A rebound embraces us when we are at our lowest. Also, they give us validation, at a time when we really really need it!  But are rebounds a great idea? Or a terrible decision? That's what we are talking about in Episode 9 of How I Dealt With It. Written, hosted and produced by Divyani Rattanpal. 

Breakups are the perfect trigger for insecurities; they make us think we are not worthy enough, not attractive enough... quite simply... not enough. And it's perfectly natural. The important thing is not to let it affect you, and pick your sweet self up as soon as you can!  Hosted and written by Divyani Rattanpal

“My ex ruined my favourite song,” says my friend. It’s not like he plagiarised it. Nor is his name Preetam. She’s only speaking of how she has been robbed of her favourite song, because she can no longer listen to it, because it reminds her of all the memories she built around it with her ex. For me, the 'collateral damage' was a travel destination. Sometimes, the collateral damage can be an office, where you find it difficult to work because it's also inhabited by your ex. At others, it could be a lost work opportunity, because the ex has asked people not to work with you (looking right at ya, Bollywood!).  The truth is, that breakups take away more than a boyfriend/girlfriend — they also sometimes ruin friendships, finances, and professional opportunities, among other things. Have you ever lost more than a relationship after a breakup? If yes, listen in to Episode 7 of How I Dealt With It, featuring popular romance author Sudeep Nagarkar.  Hosted, written and produced by Divyani Rattanpal

Men won't acknowledge their pain.  'Men'tal health will not be taken care of. Uff. Is there any other wrong step that can be taken while dealing with a breakup? In episode 6, we talk about how men and women process breakups differently, and how sometimes, men's refusal to acknowledge their pain results in them taking longer to get over breakups. Of course, we will also talk about how NOT to sabotage your mental health when you have just been rejected. 

A broken engagement isn’t just about two people calling it quits, it’s about two families separating (and lots of drama).  In the Indian context, the situation can be especially tricky. But how can one deal with it, this podcast offers some suggestions.  Written, Hosted and Produced by Divyani Rattanpal

Emotionally abusive relationships can wreak a person's self esteem, and cause great psychological harm.  Abusers never change, so giving a second chance to them is like willingly putting your hand in the mouth of a crocodile.  And so, the only way out of an emotionally/physically abusive relationship is to just Run Forrest Run. This is Episode 4 of How I Dealt With It, a podcast series about heartbreaks, pain, and endings, hosted by Divyani Rattanpal for The Quint.

So many people make this big break up mistake and regret it soon after. Don’t be them. Don’t be in a hurry to move on after a break up. Instead, take some time to work on your relationship mistakes.

Isn’t it funny how anyone dealing with a breakup manages to get all sorts of random advice — from friends, strangers, memes, you name it. And often times the advice is simply conflicting. Of course, it’s not like you NEED the advice — you are so much smarter than that (wink)! That is until you find yourself utterly lost in a whirlpool of thoughts. Which if unresolved can end up hurting you more than you realise. And that’s when you know you need a good pain purohit — someone who will empathise with your pain and not judge you for the way you are processing your feelings. I got one such pain purohit for all my fam for Episode 2 of our relationship series, How I Dealt With It. Avani Parekh is a trained counsellor who started Love Doctor, a platform to get answers to all your questions about relationships. It was later acquired by Sheroes.in. Avani now works for Facebook in Singapore. Why I picked Avani was because she is empathetic, smart, funny and very rational when it comes to giving advice. I myself took some advice from her which I shall not disclose here! The questions, meanwhile, that I posed to her were sent to me by listeners and interviewees. While some came simply through DMs.  So what are you waiting for? Grab that headphone, and give it a listen!

Just like desi love, even desi break ups have saat janam. Find out what are those in Episode 1 of How I Dealt With It, with Divyani Rattanpal