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Join Dr. Aziz live for a 3-day VIRTUAL event: Not Nice LIVE > Go here for details and tickets. Most people don't struggle to speak up because they lack communication skills. They struggle because crossing that line feels dangerous. In this episode, Dr. Aziz Gazipura explores why you may still feel stuck in passivity or half-assertiveness, even if you've spent years working on yourself. You understand the ideas. You know you “should” speak up. And yet, when the moment arrives, something pulls you back. Rather than offering scripts or techniques, Dr. Aziz focuses on the real breakdown point: the guilt and fear that surface just before honesty. He examines how indirectness becomes a form of self-protection, why “gentle” assertiveness often fails to create real change, and how unspoken rules about being good, kind, or acceptable quietly limit your life. This episode isn't about becoming aggressive or finding better words. It's about recognizing the internal code that says, “If I'm really honest, I'll lose everything,” and understanding why that belief continues to run your behavior unless it's directly confronted. If you already know a lot about assertiveness but haven't been able to live it consistently, this conversation names the threshold you may have been standing at for years—and what it actually takes to cross it. --------------------------------- Many people reach a point where they realize something important: being “nice” isn't working anymore. For years—sometimes decades—they believed that staying flexible, not rocking the boat, and avoiding discomfort was the right way to live. They told themselves they were being considerate, kind, easygoing. They avoided pressuring people, avoided conflict, avoided making anyone uncomfortable. And then slowly, quietly, the cost became undeniable. Resentment started to build. Anxiety didn't go away. Relationships felt draining or unsatisfying. Opportunities were missed. A subtle but persistent sense of frustration crept in—often accompanied by the feeling, “I'm not really being me.” So they arrive at an insight that feels like progress: I need to speak up for myself. And that insight is progress. But it's not the breakthrough. Because knowing that you should speak up does not automatically mean that you can—or that when you do, it will actually work. Why “Just Speak Up” Usually Fails Many people assume assertiveness is a simple behavioral skill. Learn the right words. Use the right tone. Say the thing. But assertiveness isn't primarily about what you say. It's about the inner stance you're coming from when you say it. This is where things break down. Often, people move from passivity into what looks like assertiveness on the surface—but internally, they're still trying not to upset anyone. They soften their message. They hint. They explain excessively. They bring things up indirectly, hoping the other person will “get it” without them having to actually claim what they want. So they say something like: “I just wanted to mention that you said you were going to do X, and then it didn't happen… but it's okay, I handled it.” Technically, they spoke up. Emotionally, they didn't. Nothing meaningful changes—and then comes the conclusion: “See? Speaking up doesn't work.” So they retreat back into silence, often with more resentment than before. The Passive → Gentle → Stuck Cycle This is one of the most common cycles I see: First, passivity. Then, a tentative attempt to speak up. Then, disappointment when nothing changes. Then, withdrawal. Over time, resentment accumulates—not just toward the other person, but toward yourself. Because deep down, you know you didn't fully say what was true. What's most painful isn't that the other person didn't change. It's that real contact never happened. You weren't fully there. The Real Barrier Isn't the Situation People usually have a long list of reasons why they can't be more direct: “It's my boss.” “It's my parent.” “It's my partner.” “That would be mean.” “That would be selfish.” “You can't say that in this situation.” These reasons feel convincing because they're emotionally charged. But they all point away from the real issue. The real issue isn't the circumstance. The real issue is that you're operating within a very narrow internal permission structure—one designed to protect you from something that feels catastrophic. What Are You Actually Afraid Of? Imagine being fully honest in a situation where you usually hold back. Not cruel. Not attacking. Just clear. Naming the pattern. Naming the impact. Naming what does and doesn't work for you. Most people feel immediate discomfort just imagining this. Tightness in the chest. A sinking feeling. An urge to pull back. That discomfort usually isn't about politeness. It's about fear and guilt. And underneath those emotions is a deeper belief: If I'm truly myself, I will lose everything. Lose love. Lose approval. Lose safety. Lose belonging. So your nervous system learned a rule long ago: Don't be too real. That rule doesn't disappear just because you intellectually understand assertiveness. The “Hidden Code” Running Your Life Everyone who struggles to speak up is running unconscious lines of code. They sound like: “If I ask for something, I'm selfish.” “If I make someone uncomfortable, I'm bad.” “If I say no, I'll hurt them.” “If I'm direct, I'll be rejected.” What's striking is that most people don't consciously agree with these beliefs. When you say them out loud, they sound extreme—even absurd. And yet, they quietly govern behavior. You don't need more confidence tips until you start identifying these rules. Because as long as they remain unexamined, they run the show. Why Avoidance Keeps the Fear Alive Avoidance feels safe in the short term. In the long term, it guarantees that the fear never resolves. Just like a phobia, the fear only weakens when you approach what you've been avoiding—in a structured, supported way. As long as you keep telling yourself, “I'll say it later,” or “It's not worth it,” or “They won't change anyway,” the old code stays intact. And life quietly shrinks. What Actually Creates Change Change doesn't come from more information. It comes from: Becoming conscious of the rules you're living by Questioning whether they're actually true Taking real interpersonal risks—consistently This isn't about being aggressive. It's about being real. And yes—at first, the right thing often feels wrong. Assertiveness can feel selfish. Honesty can feel dangerous. Boundaries can feel cruel. Those feelings are not signs you're doing something wrong. They're signs you're upgrading old code. A Simple Place to Start Instead of trying to “be more assertive,” start here: Notice one situation where you hold back. Notice what you feel when you imagine being direct. Ask yourself: What rule am I following right now? Just seeing it begins to loosen its grip. From there, real change becomes possible. Final Thought Knowing how to speak up isn't enough because the problem was never a lack of knowledge. The problem is fear of losing connection by being yourself. And the truth—one that must be experienced, not just understood—is this: You don't lose everything by being real. You lose everything by never being you. Until we speak again, have the courage to be who you are— and know, on a deep level, that you're awesome.
At the end of the day, people don't follow business cards or clever pitches — they follow the people who make them feel seen. When you validate emotions, you create belonging, and belonging is the strongest gravitational pull in networking. This episode reveals how to become that kind of person so people are naturally drawn toward you. This is from an article by Catherine Sherlock . Download from https://www.subscribepage.com/emo-invalidation-and-validation For more great insight on professional relationships and business networking contact Frank Agin at frankagin@amspirit.com.
How can indie authors raise their game through academic-style rigour? How might AI tools fit into a thoughtful research process without replacing the joy of discovery? Melissa Addey explores the intersection of scholarly discipline, creative writing, and the practical realities of building an author career. In the intro, mystery and thriller tropes [Wish I'd Known Then]; The differences between trad and indie in 2026 [Productive Indie Fiction Writer]; Five phases of an author business [Becca Syme]; Bones of the Deep – J.F. Penn; Today's show is sponsored by Bookfunnel, the essential tool for your author business. Whether it's delivering your reader magnet, sending out advanced copies of your book, handing out ebooks at a conference, or fulfilling your digital sales to readers, BookFunnel does it all. Check it out at bookfunnel.com/thecreativepenn This show is also supported by my Patrons. Join my Community at Patreon.com/thecreativepenn Melissa Addey is an award-winning historical fiction author with a PhD in creative writing from the University of Surrey. She was the Leverhulme Trust Writer in Residence at the British Library, and now works as campaigns lead for the Alliance of Independent Authors. You can listen above or on your favorite podcast app or read the notes and links below. Here are the highlights and the full transcript is below. Show Notes Making the leap from a corporate career to full-time writing with a young family Why Melissa pursued a PhD in creative writing and how it fuelled her author business What indie authors can learn from academic rigour when researching historical fiction The problems with academic publishing—pricing, accessibility, and creative restrictions Organising research notes, avoiding accidental plagiarism, and knowing when to stop researching Using AI tools effectively as part of the research process without losing your unique voice You can find Melissa at MelissaAddey.com. Transcript of the interview with Melissa Addey JOANNA: Melissa Addey is an award-winning historical fiction author with a PhD in creative writing from the University of Surrey. She was the Leverhulme Trust Writer in Residence at the British Library, and now works as campaigns lead for the Alliance of Independent Authors. Welcome back to the show, Melissa. MELISSA: Hello. Thank you for having me. JOANNA: It's great to have you back. You were on almost a decade ago, in December 2016, talking about merchandising for authors. That is really a long time ago. So tell us a bit more about you and how you got into writing and self-publishing. MELISSA: I had a regular job in business and I was writing on the side. I did a couple of writing courses, and then I started trying to get published, and that took seven years of jumping through hoops. There didn't seem to be much progress. At some point, I very nearly had a small publisher, but we clashed over the cover because there was a really quite hideous suggestion that was not going to work. I think by that point I was really tired of jumping through hoops, really trying to play the game traditional publishing-wise. I just went, you know what? I've had enough now. I've done everything that was asked of me and it's still not working. I'll just go my own way. I think at the time that would've been 2015-ish. Suddenly, self-publishing was around more. I could see people and hear people talking about it, and I thought, okay, let's read everything there is to know about this. I had a little baby at the time and I would literally print off stuff during the day to read—probably loads of your stuff—and read it at two o'clock in the morning breastfeeding babies. Then I'd go, okay, I think I understand that bit now, I'll understand the next bit, and so on. So I got into self-publishing and I really, really enjoyed it. I've been doing it ever since. I'm now up to 20 books in the last 10 or 11 years. As you say, I did the creative writing PhD along the way, working with ALLi and doing workshops for others—mixing and matching lots of different things. I really enjoy it. JOANNA: You mentioned you had a job before in business. Are you full-time in all these roles that you're doing now, or do you still have that job? MELISSA: No, I'm full-time now. I only do writing-related things. I left that in 2015, so I took a jump. I was on maternity leave and I started applying for jobs to go back to, and I suddenly felt like, oh, I really don't want to. I want to do the writing. I thought, I've got about one year's worth of savings. I could try and do the jump. I remember saying to my husband, “Do you think it would be possible if I tried to do the jump? Would that be okay?” There was this very long pause while he thought about it. But the longer the pause went on, the more I was thinking, ooh, he didn't say no, that is out of the question, financially we can't do that. I thought, ooh, it's going to work. So I did the jump. JOANNA: That's great. I did something similar and took a massive pay cut and downsized and everything back in the day. Having a supportive partner is so important. The other thing I did—and I wonder if you did too—I said to Jonathan, my husband, if within a year this is not going in a positive direction, then I'll get another job. How long did you think you would leave it before you just gave up? And how did that go? Because that beginning is so difficult, especially with a new baby. MELISSA: I thought, well, I'm at home anyway, so I do have more time than if I was in a full-time job. The baby sleeps sometimes—if you're lucky—so there are little gaps where you could really get into it. I had a year of savings/maternity pay going on, so I thought I've got a year. And the funny thing that happened was within a few months, I went back to my husband and I was like, I don't understand. I said, all these doors are opening—they weren't massive, but they were doors opening. I said, but I've wanted to be a writer for a long time and none of these doors have opened before. He said, “Well, it's because you really committed. It's because you jumped. And when you jump, sometimes the universe is on board and goes, yes, all right then, and opens some doors for you.” It really felt like that. Even little things—like Writing Magazine gave me a little slot to do an online writer-in-residence thing. Just little doors opened that felt like you were getting a nod, like, yes, come on then, try. Then the PhD was part of that. I applied to do that and it came with a studentship, which meant I had three years of funding coming in. That was one of the biggest creative gifts that's ever been given to me—three years of knowing you've got enough money coming in that you can just try and make it work. By the time that finished, the royalties had taken over from the studentship. That was such a gift. JOANNA: A couple of things there. I've got to ask about that funding. You're saying it was a gift, but that money didn't just magically appear. You worked really hard to get that funding, I presume. MELISSA: I did, yes. You do have to do the work for it, just to be clear. My sister had done a PhD in an entirely different subject. She said, “You should do a PhD in creative writing.” I said, “That'd be ridiculous. Nobody is going to fund that. Who's going to fund that?” She said, “Oh, they might. Try.” So I tried, and the deadline was something stupid like two weeks away. I tried and I got shortlisted, but I didn't get it. I thought, ah, but I got shortlisted with only two weeks to try. I'll try again next year then. So then I tried again the next year and that's when I got it. It does take work. You have to put in quite a lot of effort to make your case. But it's a very joyful thing if you get one. JOANNA: So let's go to the bigger question: why do a PhD in creative writing? Let's be clear to everyone—you don't need even a bachelor's degree to be a successful author. Stephen King is a great example of someone who isn't particularly educated in terms of degrees. He talks about writing his first book while working at a laundry. You can be very successful with no formal education. So why did you want to do a PhD? What drew you to academic research? MELISSA: Absolutely. I would briefly say, I often meet people who feel they must do a qualification before they're allowed to write. I say, do it if you'd like to, but you don't have to. You could just practise the writing. I fully agree with that. It was a combination of things. I do actually like studying. I do actually enjoy the research—that's why I do historical research. I like that kind of work. So that's one element. Another element was the funding. I thought, if I get that funding, I've got three years to build up a back catalogue of books, to build up the writing. It will give me more time. So that was a very practical financial issue. Also, children. My children were very little. I had a three-year-old and a baby, and everybody went, “Are you insane? Doing a PhD with a three-year-old and a baby?” But the thing about three-year-olds and babies is they're quite intellectually boring. Emotionally, very engaging—on a number of levels, good, bad, whatever—but they're not very intellectually stimulating. You're at home all day with two small children who think that hide and seek is the highlight of intellectual difficulty because they've hidden behind the curtains and they're shuffling and giggling. I felt I needed something else. I needed something for me that would be interesting. I've always enjoyed passing on knowledge. I've always enjoyed teaching people, workshops, in whatever field I was in. I thought, if I want to do that for writing at some point, it will sound more important if I've done a PhD. Not that you need that to explain how to do writing to someone if you do a lot of writing. But there were all these different elements that came together. JOANNA: So to summarise: you enjoy the research, it's an intellectual challenge, you've got the funding, and there is something around authority. In terms of a PhD—and just for listeners, I'm doing a master's at the moment in death, religion, and culture. MELISSA: Your topic sounds fascinating. JOANNA: It is interesting because, same as you, I enjoy research. Both of us love research as part of our fiction process and our nonfiction. I'm also enjoying the intellectual challenge, and I've also considered this idea of authority in an age of AI when it is increasingly easy to generate books—let's just say it, it's easy to generate books. So I was like, well, how do I look at this in a more authoritative way? I wanted to talk to you because even just a few months back into it—and I haven't done an academic qualification for like two decades—it struck me that the academic rigour is so different. What lessons can indie authors learn from this kind of academic rigour? What do you think of in terms of the rigour and what can we learn? MELISSA: I think there are a number of things. First of all, really making sure that you are going to the quality sources for things—the original sources, the high-quality versions of things. Not secondhand, but going back to those primary sources. Not “somebody said that somebody said something.” Well, let's go back to the original. Have a look at that, because you get a lot from that. I think you immerse yourself more deeply. Someone can tell you, “This is how they spoke in the 1800s.” If you go and read something that was written in the 1800s, you get a better sense of that than just reading a dictionary of slang that's been collated for you by somebody else. So I think that immerses you more deeply. Really sticking with that till you've found interesting things that spark creativity in you. I've seen people say, “I used to do all the historical research. Nowadays I just fact-check. I write what I want to write and I fact-check.” I think, well, that's okay, but you won't find the weird little things. I tend to call it “the footnotes of history.” You won't find the weird little things that really make something come alive, that really make a time and a place come alive. I've got a scene in one of my Regency romances—which actually I think are less full of historical emphasis than some of my other work—where a man gives a woman a gift. It's supposed to be a romantic gift and maybe slightly sensual. He could have given her a fan and I could have fact-checked and gone, “Are there fans? Yes, there are fans. Do they have pretty romantic poems on them? Yes, they do. Okay, that'll do.” Actually, if you go round and do more research than that, you discover they had things like ribbons that held up your stockings, on which they wrote quite smutty things in embroidery. That's a much more sexy and interesting gift to give in that scene. But you don't find that unless you go doing a bit of research. If I just fact-check, I'm not going to find that because it would never have occurred to me to fact-check it in the first place. JOANNA: I totally agree with you. One of the wonderful things about research—and I also like going to places—is you might be somewhere and see something that gives you an idea you never, ever would have found in a book or any other way. I used to call it “the serendipity of the stacks” in the physical library. You go looking for a particular book and then you're in that part of the shelf and you find several other books that you never would have looked for. I think it's encouraging people, as you're saying, but I also think you have to love it. MELISSA: Yes. I think some people find it a bit of a grind, or they're frightened by it and they think, “Have I done enough?” JOANNA: Mm-hmm. MELISSA: I get asked that a lot when I talk about writing historical fiction. People go, “But when do I stop? How do I know it's enough? How do I know there wasn't another book that would have been the book? Everyone will go, ‘Oh, how did you not read such-and-such?'” I always say there are two ways of finding out when you can stop. One is when you get to the bibliographies, you look through and you go, “Yep, read that, read that, read that. Nah, I know that one's not really what I wanted.” You're familiar with those bibliographies in a way that at the beginning you're not. At the beginning, every single bibliography, you haven't read any of it. So that's quite a good way of knowing when to stop. The other way is: can you write ordinary, everyday life? I don't start writing a book till I can write everyday life in that historical era without notes. I will obviously have notes if I'm doing a wedding or a funeral or a really specific battle or something. Everyday life, I need to be able to just write that out of my own head. You need to be confident enough to do that. JOANNA: One of the other problems I've heard from academics—people who've really come out of academia and want to write something more pop, even if it's pop nonfiction or fiction—they're also really struggling. It is a different game, isn't it? For people who might be immersed in academia, how can they release themselves into doing something like self-publishing? Because there's still a lot of stigma within academia. MELISSA: You're going to get me on the academic publishing rant now. I think academic publishing is horrendous. Academics are very badly treated. I know quite a lot of academics and they have to do all the work. Nobody's helping them with indexing or anything like that. The publisher will say things like, “Well, could you just cut 10,000 words out of that?” Just because of size. Out of somebody's argument that they're making over a whole work. No consideration for that. The royalties are basically zilch. I've seen people's royalty statements come in, and the way they price the books is insane. They'll price a book at 70 pounds. I actually want that book for my research and I'm hesitating because I can't be buying all of them at that price. That's ridiculous. I've got people who are friends or family who bring out a book, and I'm like, well, I would gladly buy your book and read it. It's priced crazy. It's priced only for institutions. I think actually, if academia was written a little more clearly and open to the lay person—which if you are good at your work, you should be able to do—and priced a bit more in line with other books, that would maybe open up people to reading more academia. You wouldn't have to make it “pop” as you say. I quite like pop nonfiction. But I don't think there would have to be such a gulf between those two. I think you could make academic work more readable generally. I read someone's thesis recently and they'd made a point at the beginning of saying—I can't remember who it was—that so-and-so academic's point of view was that it should be readable and they should be writing accordingly. I thought, wow, I really admired her for doing that. Next time I'm doing something like that, I should be putting that at the front as well. But the fact that she had to explain that at the beginning… It wasn't like words of one syllable throughout the whole thing. I thought it was a very quality piece of writing, but it was perfectly readable to someone who didn't know about the topic. JOANNA: I might have to get that name from you because I've got an essay on the Philosophy of Death. And as you can imagine, there's a heck of a lot of big words. MELISSA: I know. I've done a PhD, but I still used to tense up a little bit thinking they're going to pounce on me. They're going to say that I didn't talk academic enough, I didn't sound fancy enough. That's not what it should be about, really. In a way, you are locking people out of knowledge, and given that most academics are paid for by public funds, that knowledge really ought to be a little more publicly accessible. JOANNA: I agree on the book price. I'm also buying books for my course that aren't in the library. Some of them might be 70 pounds for the ebook, let alone the print book. What that means is that I end up looking for secondhand books, when of course the money doesn't go to the author or the publisher. The other thing that happens is it encourages piracy. There are people who openly talk about using pirate sites for academic works because it's just too expensive. If I'm buying 20 books for my home library, I can't be spending that kind of money. Why is it so bad? Why is it not being reinvented, especially as we have done with indie authors for the wider genres? Has this at all moved into academia? MELISSA: I think within academia there's a fear because there's the peer reviews and it must be proven to be absolutely correct and agreed upon by everybody. I get that. You don't want some complete rubbish in there. I do think there's space to come up with a different system where you could say, “So-and-so is professor of whatever at such-and-such a university. I imagine what they have to say might be interesting and well-researched.” You could have some sort of kite mark. You could have something that then allows for self-publishing to take over a bit. I do just think their system is really, really poor. They get really reined in on what they're allowed to write about. Alison Baverstock, who is a professor now at Kingston University and does stuff about publishing and master's programmes, started writing about self-publishing because she thought it was really interesting. This was way back. JOANNA: I remember. I did one of those surveys. MELISSA: She got told in no uncertain terms, “Do not write about this. You will ruin your career.” She stuck with it. She was right to stick with it. But she was told by senior academics, “Do not write about self-publishing. You're just embarrassing yourself. It's just vanity press.” They weren't even being allowed to write about really quite interesting phenomena that were happening. Just from a historical point of view, that was a really interesting rise of self-publishing, and she was being told not to write about it. JOANNA: It's funny, that delay as well. I'm looking to maybe do my thesis on how AI is impacting death and the death industry. And yet it's such a fast-moving thing. MELISSA: Yes. JOANNA: Sometimes it can take a year, two years or more to get a paper through the process. MELISSA: Oh, yes. It moves really, really fast. Like you say, by the time it comes out, people are going, “Huh? That's really old.” And you'll be going, “No, it's literally two years.” But yes, very, very slow. JOANNA: Let's come back to how we can help other people who might not want to be doing academic-level stuff. One of the things I've found is organising notes, sources, references. How do you manage that? Any tips for people? They might not need to do footnotes for their historical novel, but they might want to organise their research. What are your thoughts? MELISSA: I used to do great big enormous box files and print vast quantities of stuff. Each box file would be labelled according to servant life, or food, or seasons, or whatever. I've tried various different things. I'm moving more and more now towards a combination of books on the shelf, which I do like, and papers and other materials that are stored on my computer. They'll be classified according to different parts of daily life, essentially. Because when you write historical fiction, you have to basically build the whole world again for that era. You have to have everything that happens in daily life, everything that happens on special events, all of those things. So I'll have it organised by those sorts of topics. I'll read it and go through it until I'm comfortable with daily life. Then special things—I'll have special notes on that that can talk me through how you run a funeral or a wedding or whatever, because that's quite complicated to just remember in your head. MELISSA: I always do historical notes at the end. They really matter to me. When I read historical fiction, I really like to read that from the author. I'll say, “Right, these things are true”—especially things that I think people will go, “She made that up. That is not true.” I'll go, “No, no, these are true.” These other things I've fudged a little, or I've moved the timeline a bit to make the story work better. I try to be fairly clear about what I did to make it into a story, but also what is accurate, because I want people to get excited about that timeline. Occasionally if there's been a book that was really important, I'll mention it in there because I don't want to have a proper bibliography, but I do want to highlight certain books. If you got excited by this novel, you could go off and read that book and it would take you into the nonfiction side of it. JOANNA: I'm similar with my author's notes. I've just done the author's note for Bones of the Deep, which has some merfolk in it, and I've got a book on Merpeople. It's awesome. It's just a brilliant book. I'm like, this has to go in. You could question whether that is really nonfiction or something else. But I think that's really important. Just to be more practical: when you're actually writing, what tools do you use? I use Scrivener and I keep all my research there. I'm using EndNote for academic stuff. MELISSA: I've always just stuck to Word. I did get Scrivener and played with it for a while, but I felt like I've already got a way of doing it, so I'll just carry on with that. So I mostly just do Word. I have a lot of notes, so I'll have notepads that have got my notes on specific things, and they'll have page numbers that go back to specific books in case I need to go and double-check that again. You mentioned citations, and that's fascinating to me. Do you know the story about Angle of Repose by Wallace Stegner? It won the Pulitzer. It's a novel, but he used 10% of that novel—and it's a fairly slim novel—10% of it is actually letters written by somebody else, written by a woman before his time. He includes those and works with them in the story. He mentioned her very briefly, like, “Oh, and thanks to the relatives of so-and-so.” Very brief. He got accused of plagiarism for using that much of it by another part of her family who hadn't agreed to it. I've always thought it's because he didn't give enough credence to her. He didn't give her enough importance. If he'd said, “This was the woman who wrote this stuff. It's fascinating. I loved it. I wanted to creatively respond and engage with it”—I think that wouldn't have happened at all. That's why I think it's quite important when there are really big, important elements that you're using to acknowledge those. JOANNA: That's part of the academic rigour too— You can barely have a few of your own thoughts without referring to somebody else's work and crediting them. What's so interesting to me in the research process is, okay, I think this, but in order to say it, I'm going to have to go find someone else who thought this first and wrote a paper on it. MELISSA: I think you would love a PhD. When you've done a master's, go and do a PhD as well. Because it was the first time in academia that I genuinely felt I was allowed my own thoughts and to invent stuff of my own. I could go, “Oh no, I've invented this theory and it's this.” I didn't have to constantly go, “As somebody else said, as somebody else said.” I was like, no, no. This is me. I said this thing. I wasn't allowed to in my master's, and I found it annoying. I remember thinking, but I'm trying to have original thoughts here. I'm trying to bring something new to it. In a PhD, you're allowed to do that because you're supposed to be contributing to knowledge. You're supposed to be bringing a new thing into the world. That was a glorious thing to finally be allowed to do. JOANNA: I must say I couldn't help myself with that. I've definitely put my own opinion. But a part of why I mention it is the academic rigour—it's actually quite good practice to see who else has had these thoughts before. Speed is one of the biggest issues in the indie author community. Some of the stuff you were talking about—finding original sources, going to primary sources, the top-quality stuff, finding the weird little things—all of that takes more time than, for example, just running a deep research report on Gemini or Claude or ChatGPT. You can do both. You can use that as a starting point, which I definitely do. But then the point is to go back and read the original stuff. On this timeframe— Why do you think research is worth doing? It's important for academic reasons, but personal growth as well. MELISSA: Yes, I think there's a joy to be had in the research. When I go and stand in a location, by that point I'm not measuring things and taking photos—I've done all of that online. I'm literally standing there feeling what it is to be there. What does it smell like? What does it feel like? Does it feel very enclosed or very open? Is it a peaceful place or a horrible place? That sensory research becomes very important. All of the book research before that should lead you into the sensory research, which is then also a joy to do. There's great pleasure in it. As you say, it slows things down. What I tend to say to people if they want to speed things up again is: write in a series. Because once you've done all of that research and you just write one book and then walk away, that's a lot. That really slows you down. If you then go, “Okay, well now I'm going to write four books, five books, six books, still in that place and time”—obviously each book will need a little more research, but it won't need that level of starting-from-scratch research. That can help in terms of speeding it back up again. Recently I wrote some Regency romances to see what that was like. I'd done all my basic research, and then I thought, right, now I want to write a historical novel which could have been Victorian or could have been Regency. It had an openness to it. I thought, well, I've just done all the research for Regency, so I'll stick with that era. Why go and do a whole other piece of research when I've only written three books in it so far? I'll just take that era and work with that. So there are places to make up the time again a bit. But I do think there's a joy in it as well. JOANNA: I just want to come back to the plagiarism thing. I discovered that you can plagiarise yourself in academia, which is quite interesting. For example, my books How to Write a Novel and How to Write Nonfiction—they're aimed at different audiences. They have lots of chapters that are different, but there's a chapter on dictation. I thought, why would I need to write the same chapter again? I'm just going to put the same chapter in. It's the same process. Then I only recently learned that you can plagiarise yourself. I did not credit myself for that original chapter. MELISSA: How dare you not credit yourself! JOANNA: But can you talk a bit about that? Where are the lines here? I'm never going to credit myself. I think that's frankly ridiculous. MELISSA: No, that's silly. I mean, it depends what you're doing. In your case, that completely makes sense. It would be really peculiar of you to sit down and write a whole new chapter desperately trying not to copy what you'd said in a chapter about exactly the same topic. That doesn't make any sense. JOANNA: I guess more in the wider sense. Earlier you mentioned you keep notes and you put page numbers by them. I think the point is with research, a lot of people worry about accidental plagiarism. You write a load of notes on a book and then it just goes into your brain. Perhaps you didn't quote people properly. It's definitely more of an issue in nonfiction. You have to keep really careful notes. Sometimes I'm copying out a quote and I'll just naturally maybe rewrite that quote because the way they've put it didn't make sense, or I use a contraction or something. It's just the care in note-taking and then citing people. MELISSA: Yes. When I talk to people about nonfiction, I always say, you're basically joining a conversation. I mean, you are in fiction as well, but not as obviously. I say, well, why don't you read the conversation first? Find out what the conversation is in your area at the moment, and then what is it that you're bringing that's different? The most likely reason for you to end up writing something similar to someone else is that you haven't understood what the conversation was, and you need to be bringing your own thing to it. Then even if you're talking about the same topic, you might talk about it in a different way, and that takes you away from plagiarism because you're bringing your own view to it and your own direction to it. JOANNA: It's an interesting one. I think it's just the care. Taking more care is what I would like people to do. So let's talk about AI because AI tools can be incredible. I do deep research reports with Gemini and Claude and ChatGPT as a sort of “give me an overview and tell me some good places to start.” The university I'm with has a very hard line, which is: AI can be used as part of a research process, but not for writing. What are your thoughts on AI usage and tools? How can people balance that? MELISSA: Well, I'm very much a newbie compared to you. I follow you—the only person that describes how to use it with any sense at all, step by step. I'm very new to it, but I'm going to go back to the olden days. Sometimes I say to people, when I'm talking about how I do historical research, I start with Wikipedia. They look horrified. I'm like, no. That's where you have to get the overview from. I want an overview of how you dress in ancient Rome. I need a quick snapshot of that. Then I can go off and figure out the details of that more accurately and with more detail. I think AI is probably extremely good for that—getting the big picture of something and going, okay, this is what the field's looking like at the moment. These are the areas I'm going to need to burrow down into. It's doing that work for you quickly so that you're then in a position to pick up from that point. It gets you off to a quicker start and perhaps points you in the direction of the right people to start with. I'm trying to write a PhD proposal at the moment because I'm an idiot and want to do a second one. With that, I really did think, actually, AI should write this. Because the original concept is mine. I know nothing about it—why would I know anything about it? I haven't started researching it. This is where AI should go, “Well, in this field, there are these people. They've done these things.” Then you could quickly check that nobody's covered your thing. It would actually speed up all of that bit, which I think would be perfectly reasonable because you don't know anything about it yet. You're not an expert. You have the original idea, and then after that, then you should go off and do your own research and the in-depth quality of it. I think for a lot of things that waste authors' time—if you're applying for a grant or a writer-in-residence or things like that—it's a lot of time wasting filling in long, boring forms. “Could you make an artist statement and a something and a blah?” You're like, yes, yes, I could spend all day at my desk doing that. There's a moment where you start thinking, could you not just allow the AI to do this or much of it? JOANNA: Yes. Or at least, in that case, I'd say one of the very useful things is doing deep searches. As you were mentioning earlier about getting the funding—if I was to consider a PhD, which the thought has crossed my mind—I would use AI tools to do searches for potential sources of funding and that kind of research. In fact, I found this course at Winchester because I asked ChatGPT. It knows a lot about me because I chat with it all the time. I was talking about hitting 50 and these are the things I'm really interested in and what courses might interest me. Then it found it for me. That was quite amazing in itself. I'd encourage people to consider using it for part of the research process. But then all the papers it cites or whatever—then you have to go download those, go read them, do that work yourself. MELISSA: Yes, because that's when you bring your viewpoint to something. You and I could read the exact same paper and choose very different parts of it to write about and think about, because we're coming at it from different points of view and different journeys that we're trying to explore. That's where you need the individual to come in. It wouldn't be good enough to just have a generic overview from AI that we both try and slot into our work, because we would want something different from it. JOANNA: I kind of laugh when people say, “Oh, I can tell when it's AI.” I'm like, you might be able to tell when it's AI writing if nobody has taken that personal spin, but that's not the way we use it. If you're using it that way, that's not how those of us who are independent thinkers are using it. We're strong enough in our thoughts that we're using it as a tool. You're a confident person—intellectually and creatively confident—but I feel like some people maybe don't have that. Some people are not strong enough to resist what an AI might suggest. Any thoughts on that? MELISSA: Yes. When I first tried using AI with very little guidance from anyone, it just felt easy but very wooden and not very related to me. Then I've done webinars with you, and that was really useful—to watch somebody actually live doing the batting back and forth. That became a lot more interesting because I really like bouncing ideas and messing around with things and brainstorming, essentially, but with somebody else involved that's batting stuff back to you. “What does that look like?” “No, I didn't mean that at all.” “How about what does this look like?” “Oh no, no, not like that.” “Oh yes, a bit like that, but a bit more like whatever.” I remember doing that and talking to someone about it, going, “Oh, that's really quite an interesting use of it.” And they said, “Why don't you use a person?” I said, “Well, because who am I going to call at 8:30 in the morning on a Thursday and go, ‘Look, I want to spend two hours batting back and forth ideas, but I don't want you to talk about your stuff at all. Just my stuff. And you have to only think about my stuff for two hours. And you have to be very well versed in my stuff as well. Could you just do that?'” Who's going to do that for you? JOANNA: I totally agree with you. Before Christmas, I was doing a paper. It was an art history thing. We had to pick a piece of art or writing and talk about Christian ideas of hell and how it emerged. I was writing this essay and going back and forth with Claude at the time. My husband came in and saw the fresco I was writing about. He said, “No one's going to talk to you about this. Nobody.” MELISSA: Yes, exactly. JOANNA: Nobody cares. MELISSA: Exactly. Nobody cares as much as you. And they're not prepared to do that at 8:30 on a Thursday morning. They've got other stuff to do. JOANNA: It's great to hear because I feel like we're now at the point where these tools are genuinely super useful for independent work. I hope that more people might try that. JOANNA: Okay, we're almost out of time. Where can people find you and your books online? Also, tell us a bit about the types of books you have. MELISSA: I mostly write historical fiction. As I say, I've wandered my way through history—I'm a travelling minstrel. I've done ancient Rome, medieval Morocco, 18th century China, and I'm into Regency England now. So that's a bit closer to home for once. I'm at MelissaAddey.com and you can go and have a bit of a browse and download a free novel if you want. Try me out. JOANNA: Brilliant. Well, thanks so much for your time, Melissa. MELISSA: That was great. Thank you. It was fun. The post Research Like An Academic, Write Like an Indie With Melissa Addey first appeared on The Creative Penn.
M&M Hour is back and boy is there a lot to cover this week! Mandy and Melissa spend a little time complaining about winter weather and the world being in shambles before diving deep into this week's Beverly Hill's episode. They also touch on the part 3 of the RHOSLC reunion. Check out the Your Bish Therapist podcast for part 2 of M&M Hour!For all things Melissa: Link Treelinktr.ee/yourbishtherapistFollow Mandy on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/mandyslutsker/
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It's time for another Mind Gap Podcast! This week, Doug and Justin explore a provocative scenario involving unexpected family dynamics and how it would likely change the way you view your parents forever. The dorks then move into their main topic - the most emotionally unprepared they've been for a movie or TV show. They break down moments in entertainment history that either delivered a character's unexpected demise, betrayals, endings that didn't feel great, and all the times they were unexpectedly taught grief when they were just trying to enjoy a movie. Things are wrapped up with another round of the movie clip guessing game, where Doug plays clips from different movies and Justin does his best to guess which films they're from. Check out our YouTube channel where you can watch our episodes! Be sure to like and subscribe for this content as well as episode highlights, Doug Watches Awkward Videos, Justin Plays Video games, and more! We have MERCH now! Follow us on all of our social medias and other platforms!
Self-led digital practices for emotional resilience, inner growth mindset development, and steady living through uncertainty — and beyond.Designed for people who choose self-responsibility, emotional maturity, and inner authority as a way of living.✨ Featured BundleIf you're moving through uncertainty and want to build steadiness from within — without bypassing emotions or forcing clarity — the Uncertainty to Steadiness Inner Growth Mindset Practice Bundle offers self-led practices designed to support emotional resilience, nervous system safety, and intentional living over time.
Send episode requests hereWe've been told that at a certain age, especially as Black women, our options dry up. That if you're divorced, over 35, a single mom, or plus-sized, you should just take what you can get. But I'm 38, divorced, and I only date men who invest in me—emotionally AND financially.In this episode, I'm breaking down exactly what shifted for me to get here. You'll discover why trying to prove you're "not a gold digger" attracts the bottom of the barrel, what happens when you start asking for everything (even when you can afford it yourself), and why the men who tell you "men won't do that" are just telling you what they won't do.Ready to stop playing small and start receiving what you actually want? It starts with my free training: Attract 3 Commitment Ready Boyfriends in 90 Days. Happening On: Sunday, February 15th, 2026REGISTER HEREOnce you register, you will receive a confirmation email with the link to the free training.What you'll learn:
Serious question. Why does my oven have a lasagna button? Are people out here crushing lasagna at such a high frequency that it earned its own dedicated setting? And more importantly… am I not eating enough lasagna?Then it hits me. I am officially out of passwords. Mentally. Spiritually. Emotionally. It's 2026 and we are still typing characters into tiny boxes like it's 2009. How is this still the system and why has no one saved us yet?And just when you think life couldn't get more dangerous, winter rolls around and suddenly we are propping open kitchen cabinets so pipes don't freeze. All good until you wake up half asleep at 3am, go to the bathroom, and absolutely wreck your chin on an open cabinet door.This episode is a rapid-fire rant about modern inconveniences, outdated systems, and the oddly specific things no one warned us about. Come for the lasagna button confusion. Stay for the password burnout and mild household injuries.
Trauma Bonding at a Societal LevelTrauma bonding at a societal level occurs when entire communities become emotionally attached to ongoing stress, chaos, and threat through repeated cycles of fear and temporary relief. Constant exposure to crisis-driven narratives keeps the nervous system in a heightened state of activation, where cortisol remains elevated and the brain's threat centers dominate decision-making. In this state, people often bond not to peace or truth, but to the very sources of stress that intermittently offer reassurance, identity, or meaning. Over time, this creates emotional dependence on narratives, movements, or media ecosystems that feel familiar and validating—even when they are harmful.Neurologically and physiologically, societal trauma bonding erodes clarity and resilience. The prefrontal cortex becomes less effective, nuance disappears, and group identity replaces independent discernment. Communities begin to mirror trauma responses seen in individuals: rigidity, hypervigilance, emotional reactivity, and fear of separation from the group. Healing begins when individuals restore nervous system regulation, reconnect to local reality, and reclaim rhythm, coherence, and embodied presence. Calm, grounded truth—rather than outrage—becomes the antidote that slowly dissolves trauma bonds and allows cultures to recover stability and compassion. Dr. Fred Clary, founder of Functional Analysis Chiropractic Technique and lifting/life coach/ gym-chalk covered philosopher talks about Community Gaslighting!
Self-led digital practices for emotional resilience, inner growth mindset development, and steady living through uncertainty — and beyond.Designed for people who choose self-responsibility, emotional maturity, and inner authority as a way of living.✨ Featured BundleIf you're moving through uncertainty and want to build steadiness from within — without bypassing emotions or forcing clarity — the Uncertainty to Steadiness Inner Growth Mindset Practice Bundle offers self-led practices designed to support emotional resilience, nervous system safety, and intentional living over time.
Many high-achieving, capable adults don't identify as “traumatized” — yet they feel emotionally drained, disconnected, or stuck in patterns they can't quite explain.In this powerful episode of Mindset Mastery Moments, Dr. Alisa Whyte sits down with Dr. Shahrzad Jalali — clinical psychologist, trauma specialist, founder of Align Remedy, and author of the upcoming book The Fire That Makes Us — to unpack the often-overlooked impact of silent trauma.This conversation moves beyond surface-level mindset work and explores how unresolved trauma quietly shapes identity, performance, relationships, and leadership — even in high-functioning individuals who appear “fine” on the outside.In this episode, you'll learn:What silent trauma is and why it often goes unrecognizedHow trauma becomes a pattern — not just a past eventWhy mindset shifts don't last without nervous system regulationHow people-pleasing, perfectionism, and overachievement can be survival responsesPractical ways to begin reclaiming emotional agency and personal powerDr. Jalali weaves together neuroscience, clinical insight, and lived experience, offering nervous-system-based tools that help listeners move from survival mode into regulation, alignment, and self-authority.If you've ever felt like you're doing all the right things but still feel internally misaligned, this episode gives language to what you've been carrying — and illuminates a clear path forward.
What if an AI could help you organize your abuse evidence, understand your trauma, and save you thousands in legal fees?Aimee Says isn't just another AI tool—it's a specialized digital health platform that understands power and control dynamics, helps you document patterns of abuse, organizes your evidence for court, and keeps your data completely private and encrypted. Whether you're trying to understand what's happening in your marriage, preparing for custody battles, or just need someone to help you see the patterns you can't yet name, this tool could change everything.
Most people lose control because they fuse their emotions with the moment, and in this episode, I break down why that's a problem. Detachment does not mean avoidance or suppression, it means stepping back internally while staying fully present. When I can separate how I feel from what's happening, I gain perspective without losing engagement. This skill lets you think clearly under pressure and act without emotional spillover. It's how you stay calm, sharp, and in control when things get intense. Show Notes: [02:03]#1 Separate observation from participation. [05:52]#2 Treat the moment as data, not a verdict. [10:56]#3 Anchor to your principles, not to your feelings. [15:17] Recap Next Steps: --- Power Presence is not taught. It is enforced. If you are operating in environments where hesitation costs money, authority, or leverage, the Power Presence Mastermind exists as a controlled setting for discipline, execution, and consequence-based decision-making. Details live here: http://PowerPresenceProtocol.com/Mastermind This Masterclass is the public record of standards. Private enforcement happens elsewhere. All episodes and the complete archive: → WorkOnYourGamePodcast.com
Love Strategies: Dating and Relationship Advice for Successful Women
Beyond butterflies and fireworks, what truly makes a relationship thrive? We're diving deep into the often-overlooked power of emotional protection. Join us to learn what it means, why it matters, and how to cultivate it in your own love life.Originally Aired: Mar. 22, 2025NEXT STEP: Book a complimentary Love Strategy Session and let us help you attract love this year: https://go.lovestrategies.com/session
In this Artist Journal solo episode of She's All Over the Place, host Katie Chonacas reflects on psychological isolation—the experience of emotional and social disconnection that can exist even in the presence of others. Inspired by Brené Brown's work on belonging and disconnection, this episode explores how psychological isolation develops, why it can become long-standing, and how it quietly erodes our sense of safety, connection, and self-trust. Katie shares a personal reflection on emotional isolation, social withdrawal, and the loss of belonging, offering language and awareness for an experience many feel but rarely name. This episode is for anyone who has felt: Emotionally disconnected despite being "around people" A loss of belonging or relational safety Socially present but internally isolated Unsure how disconnection became so persistent Stay Connected with me: https://www.chonacas.com/links/
Send us a textIn a culture obsessed with optimization, control, and staying positive at all costs, emotional numbness has quietly become a survival strategy. In this episode of Evolve Ventures Tech, we sit inside the tension most people avoid, the moments where discomfort, grief, and unprocessed emotion get pushed aside in the name of productivity, resilience, or growth.We challenge the assumption that not feeling is strength and expose the long-term cost of emotional suppression on the body, the nervous system, and the life you are building. This episode holds space for what happens when avoidance looks functional, when “doing well” becomes another way to run, and when emotional signals are ignored until they demand attention.This is not about intensity. It is about honesty, capacity, and what it actually means to stay alive to your own experience in a world that rewards disconnection.Here are the related episodes, each one builds on today's conversation:#453 | What it REALLY Feels Like with High Quality Therapy - https://apple.co/4anaO6d #457 | Polyvagal Theory: The Key to Well-Being - https://apple.co/4bjIu58 Learn more about:
SHOW NOTES: Episode OverviewThe real estate market of 2026 demands sophisticated negotiation skills as inventory rises and days on market climb. This episode explores proven strategies from "Getting to Yes" by Fisher and Ury, providing practical tools for creating win-win outcomes in every transaction.Key Market Insights30-year mortgage rates hit 6.06% on January 9th lowest in nearly 3 yearsActive listings approaching pre-pandemic levels (just under 1 million vs. 1 million in 2019)Home price appreciation slowed to 1.5% year-over-yearEconomy lost 56,000 jobs in Q4 2025, signaling market normalizationThe Trust Opportunity88% of buyers use real estate agents; 91% would recommend them85% of sellers use agents; 87% would recommend them61% of business comes from referrals and repeat clientsBUT only 18% of buyers use the same agent again revealing a massive 69-point gap between satisfaction and retentionThe Four Principles of Win-Win NegotiationSeparate People from ProblemBe hard on issues, soft on peopleExample: "We've got a challenge with inspection items. Let's figure out how to address concerns while respecting everyone's position."Focus on Interests, Not PositionsAsk WHY behind the WHATQuestions: "What's most important to you?" "Tell me more about that."Invent Options for Mutual GainBrainstorm creative solutionsExample: "What if the seller provides a credit instead of repairs?"Insist on Objective CriteriaUse market data, comps, fair standards not emotionsAvoid "in my opinion"; use "based on comparable sales, here's what the market shows"Game-Changing Language"What's most important to you?""Help me understand...""Let me see what we can do""What if we could...?""Are you open to a suggestion?""Would it be helpful if...?"Six Deadly Negotiation MistakesNot listening talking over instead of asking questionsMaking it personal getting defensive or attackingFocusing only on your client's positionAssuming you know what they wantNegotiating while emotionalNegotiating via text/email (the biggest mistake)The Phone Call Advantage50% of email negotiations end in impasseFace-to-face communication is 34x more effective than email93% of communication is non-verbal (tone, expressions, body language)Only 6% of agents choose phone calls, yet they're the most powerful toolThe Volume AdvantageAverage agents: 5 transactions/year = negotiation practice every 2-3 monthsHigh-volume agents: 37+ transactions/year = weekly practice opportunitiesSolution: Practice with AI to build competencyAI Practice StrategyUse ChatGPT or Claude to role-play scenarios:Emotionally attached sellers resisting price adjustmentsBuyers whose friends contradict your adviceRecovery from client missteps during showingsPrompt example: "You are a homeowner who believes your house is worth more than comps indicate. I am your listing agent. Engage naturally, no narration."Mindset PrinciplesSee abundance, not scarcityHold people capable, not accountablePlay the long game create raving fans, not just closed transactionsAction StepsPick ONE principle to implement this weekPractice phone calls instead of texts for negotiationsUse AI to practice challenging scenariosFocus on relationship-building over single transactionsResourcesBook: "Getting to Yes" by Fisher and UryWeekly coaching: Windermere Path Calls (Thursdays, 10 AM)Podcast: "The Windermere Coaching Minute"Remember: Businesses that implement beat businesses that just understand. Your expertise creates value now is your time to demonstrate it.
The best property managers in 2026 don't look like they used to.In today's Multifamily Operator Tip of the Day, we're shifting the hiring lens. Forget the resume checklist. Instead, look for heart, not just hustle.The strongest operators today are:- Emotionally intelligent- Curious- Calm under pressure- Quick to learn from failureIn a world where AI is handling the repetitive tasks, it's the human qualities, empathy, judgment, and adaptability that set your team apart.Don't hire for what someone's done. Hire for how they think.We unpack:- Why emotional intelligence matters more than technical experience- How to interview for curiosity and critical thinking- Why job postings need to speak to the soul of a candidate, not just their skillsTomorrow's top performers aren't robots. They're the ones who lead them.Subscribe now. Tomorrow, we talk turnover—what's really behind it.Blog: https://www.multifamilycollective.comBook: https://amzn.to/3YI6BDaSupport comes from: https://www.365connect.com/?utm_campaign=mmnHosted by: https://www.multifamilymedianetwork.comJoin me at Cultivate 2026: https://naahq.org/events/cultivate/sessions
(0:00-20:46) How emotionally invested are you in this seasons Sixers and/or Flyers?(20:46-34:12) A local reporter splashes cold water on a potential reunion for the Phillies (34:12-41:49) Eagles are losing a talented coachPlease note: Timecodes may shift by a few minutes due to inserted ads. Because of copyright restrictions, portions—or entire segments—may not be included in the podcast.For the latest updates, visit the show page Kincade & Salciunas on 975thefanatic.com. Follow 97.5 The Fanatic on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. Watch our shows on YouTube, and subscribe to stay up-to-date with all the best moments from Philly's home for sports!See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Send us a textSome relationships don't explode. They quietly wear you down. You walk away feeling tense, confused, guilty, or just exhausted, and you can't quite put your finger on why. Over time, those interactions start to chip away at your confidence, your peace, and your sense of self.In this episode, Anna shares the conversation she wishes she had heard decades ago. Drawing from her personal experience and decades of clinical work, she breaks down the patterns of people who consistently dysregulate your nervous system and erode your mental health, often without obvious cruelty or bad intent. Join Anna and Tim as they explore how compassion can turn into self-abandonment, why some dynamics feel familiar even when they hurt, and how wisdom sometimes looks like stepping back instead of leaning in. This is not about being mean. It is about being honest with yourself and protecting your mental and emotional well-being.This Episode Covers:Why feeling emotionally exhausted after certain interactions is important data.How repeated personality patterns quietly impact your nervous system.The difference between supporting someone and becoming their emotional dumping ground.Chronic victimhood and why endless empathy without action drains you.Drama as stimulation and how chaos can masquerade as connection.Boundary pushers and how they train people to self-abandon.Criticism, sarcasm, and contempt as subtle confidence killers.Hot-and-cold relationships and why inconsistency is destabilizing.Until next time, here's to deeper connections and personal growth.Mad love!The podcast is now on YouTube! If you prefer to watch, head over to https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLw3CabcJueib20U_L3WeaR-lNG_B3zYquDon't forget to subscribe to the Badass Confidence Coach podcast on your favorite podcast platform!CONNECT WITH ANNA:Instagram https://www.instagram.com/askannamarcolin/TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/tag/askannamarcolinEmail hello@annamarcolin.comWebsite https://www.annamarcolin.com
Modern success can humble your nervous system fast. Especially when your life looks "perfect" on paper, but your body feels flat, restless, or quietly done. Silvia Resnik unpacks the hidden ache so many high-achieving women carry: doing everything "right" and still feeling unfulfilled. We explore the subtle signs of misalignment, how productivity becomes a coping strategy, and why nervous system safety is often the missing piece behind burnout and people-pleasing. We also get into what it actually looks like to rebuild self-trust without blowing up your whole life—tiny, brave choices that bring you back to your truth, your joy, and a life that feels like yours again. Join my free live 2-day masterclass on intuition, nervous system regulation, and feminine rhythms to build sustainable energy, balance hormones, and support long-term vitality. Live January 21 & 22 at 12PM CST (replay included). WE TALK ABOUT: 04:20 - The quiet signs you're out of alignment (even if your life looks great) 08:10 - Why high-achieving women disconnect from themselves first 12:45 - The nervous system side of people-pleasing, perfectionism, and over-functioning 17:30 - Identity shifts: who you become when you stop performing your life 22:10 - Purpose vs. productivity: Building a life that actually energizes you 27:05 - Rewriting the "good girl" script without burning your life down 33:40 - How Maasai wisdom reframes fulfillment, community, and courage 40:15 - The difference between fear that protects you vs. fear that traps you 46:20 - Small daily choices that rebuild self-trust and emotional safety SPONSORS: Join me in Costa Rica for Optimize Her, a 5-night luxury women's retreat in Costa Rica with yoga, healing rituals, and biohacking workshops—only 12 spots available. RESOURCES: Join my free live 2-day masterclass on intuition, nervous system regulation, and feminine rhythms to build sustainable energy, balance hormones, and support long-term vitality. Live January 21 & 22 at 12PM CST (replay included). Download the non-toxic baby registry guide to reduce toxic exposure and make confident, evidence-informed choices for your family—free. Explore my luxury retreats designed to restore your nervous system, optimize health, and support true longevity. Join my NEW private community at TheLongHerLife.com for ongoing protocols, live coaching, and deeper support. Silvia Resnik's website and Instagram LET'S CONNECT: Instagram, TikTok, Facebook Shop my favorite health products Listen on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, YouTube Music
Dave Wiedes, founder of ServingLeaders Ministries, is an internationally renown expert in leadership and relational mediation. Dave asserts that spiritual maturity and emotional maturity are inextricably linked, and that adeptness in both categories is necessary to steward both personal relationships and our communities as a whole. Dave's theory involves the idea that we all have a "ruling passion" that tends to undermine God's Lordship in our life, and we must both identify and subvert that ruling passion with the love of God with all our mind, heart, body and soul. Learn more about Dave's ministry at his website https://www.davewiedis.com/Order his renown book, "The Spiritually Healthy Leader", here.SUPPORT His Heartbeat through Crown of Beauty Internationalhttps://www.crownofbeautyinternational.com/donateCONNECT with His Heartbeat and Crown of Beauty InternationalWebsite// Facebook//InstagramEmail: crownofbeautyinternational@gmail.comConnect with Sue Corl's Instagram//Facebook// WebsitePurchase Sue's Transformational Bible Studies and Devotionals on Amazon!Sue Corl's best-selling books: Crown of Beauty Bible Study, Broken But UndefeatedCrown of Beauty International: EMPOWERING WOMEN AROUND THE WORLD WITH GOD'S TRUTH!
Anyone else out there tired? Emotionally exhausted? Ready to try something new for 2026? This is the episode for you.
With the release of Animal Crossing New Horizon's Nintendo Switch 2 Edition & 3.0 Update, comedian Katherine Hutchins and friend of the show Emma Brockway join to discuss if we're psychologically ready to return to our pandemic-era islands. Will our residents even know us anymore? What if we forgot how to play? Oh we also give our impressions of everything new in the latest update. We also cover all the Nintendo and gaming news such as layoffs at Meta affecting many VR game developers, Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time getting a LEGO set, rumors of a new Switch 2 model found on Nintendo's website and much more. As always, we close with the games we've been playing. Listen to Super Switch Headz on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube or wherever you enjoy podcasts. 0:00:00 Introduction 0:09:27 News and Rumors 0:45:56 Animal Crossing 3.0 Update 1:29:42 Games We're Playing Discord: https://discord.com/invite/CWbF4gb Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/switchheadz Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/SuperSwitchHeadz/ Website: https://www.switchheadz.com/ Clips Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@SwitchHeadzClips
In this episode, Filimon talks about why children of immigrant parents often feel emotionally behind, never fully satisfied by achievements, and constantly driven by the pressure to repay their parents' sacrifices.SUBSCRIBE TO THE PODCAST: https://www.youtube.com/@thebriefdivepodcast/videos?sub_confirmation=1LISTEN ON:SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/2cPd9uVZqjmEmM9VF0zuGg?si=ef2246bd89c34b4APPLE PODCASTS: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-brief-dive/id1551664039FOLLOW ON:INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/thebriefdive?igsh=cm5iaWEyazRvMnpySNAPCHAT: https://snapchat.com/t/zzap27fGTIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@thebriefdive?_t=8qIJLtOvM0l&_r=1INTRO MUSIC: INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/valmaddoxaero?igsh=MWJraWRoYmE4aXN6Mg==TIKTOK: https://www.tiktok.com/@val_maddox_music?_t=ZT-8yRqOSfTGFj&_r=1DISCLAIMER: "The Brief Dive" Podcast represents the opinions of Filimon and his guests who are also not licensed professionals. The content provided should not be taken as medical advice, diagnosis, or any sort of medical treatment. This content is meant for informational and entertainment purposes only.
Self-led digital practices supporting emotional resilience, inner growth mindset development, and self-sovereignty• Uncertainty & Emotional Resilience – Inner Growth Mindset Journal Prompts for Daily Practicehttps://payhip.com/b/q2BI8• 60 Be Yourself – Inner Growth Mindset Journal Promptshttps://payhip.com/b/z2wC3Explore additional digital products designed to support self-led emotional resilience, inner growth mindset practice, and steady living through uncertainty and beyond:https://payhip.com/InspiringHumanPotential---✨ About This SpaceInspiring Human Potential (IHP) is a space for emotionally sovereign, self-aware individuals who choose self-responsibility, nervous system regulation, and inner authority as a way of life.This channel is part of the IHP “Be Yourself” Mindset & Lifestyle Series, exploring inner growth mindset practices for intentional, steady living — especially in times of uncertainty.Content explores how to navigate uncertainty without burnout through:nervous system sovereigntyself-led regulationemotional and mental intelligencerestorative embodimentconscious lifestyle practices---
This episode emphasizes that kids grow emotionally strong through five key needs: healthy boredom that creates space for creativity and self-direction, agency that helps them feel capable and in control within boundaries, opportunities to experience discomfort so they learn they can handle hard feelings, fortitude built by sticking with challenges over time, and parents who trust their own instincts rather than outsourcing confidence to overwhelming outside influences. Together, these practices help children develop resilience by facing difficulties with steady support instead of avoidance or overprotection. . . . . . . Sign up to receive the bi-monthly newsletter to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Access Raising Boys and Girls courses here! Connect with David, Sissy, and Melissa at raisingboysandgirls.com Owen Learns He Has What it Takes: A Lesson in Resilience Lucy Learns to Be Brave: A Lesson in Courage . . . . . . If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our Advertise With Us form. QUINCE: Go to Quince.com/rbg for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg. Exclusions apply. ATHLETIC GREENS: Go to DRINKAG1.com/RBG to get their best offer… For a limited time only, get a FREE AG1 duffel bag and FREE AG1 Welcome Kit with your first subscription order! Only while supplies last. COOK UNITY: Go to cookunity.com/RBG or enter code RBG before checkout to get 50% off your first order.HIYA: Visit hiyahealth.com/RBG to get 50% off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How do you become more emotionally available in dating? My podcast guest, Brooke Bralove, has the answers! She is a Psychotherapist, Certified Sex Therapist, and Master Accelerated Resolution Therapy Practitioner. She helps women and men let go of perfectionism and move toward greater authenticity, joy, pleasure, and connection. She has been in private practice in Bethesda, MD for over 20 years.In this episode:What is ART (Accelerated Resolution Therapy) and how does it work in relationships?What are some common emotional blocks people carry into dating, and how do they show up?How can past experiences or trauma impact someone's ability to connect emotionally with a partner?What are practical steps or exercises listeners can try to become more emotionally available?Connect With BrookeWebsite: www.brookebralove.com FB: https://www.facebook.com/brookebralovepsychotherapy/ IG, TikTok, Threads:: @brookebralovepsychotherapy LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/brookebralovepsychotherapy/►Please subscribe/rate and review the podcast on Apple Podcasts http://bit.ly/lastfirstdateradio ►If you're feeling stuck in dating and relationships and would like to find your last first date, sign up for a complimentary 45-minute breakthrough session with Sandy https://lastfirstdate.com/application ►Join Your Last First Date on Facebook https://facebook.com/groups/yourlastfirstdate ►Get Sandy's books, Becoming a Woman of Value; How to Thrive in Life and Love https://bit.ly/womanofvaluebook , Choice Points in Dating https://amzn.to/3jTFQe9 and Love at Last https://amzn.to/4erpj7C ►Get FREE coaching on the podcast! https://bit.ly/LFDradiocoaching ►FREE download: “Top 10 Reasons Why Men Suddenly Pull Away” http://bit.ly/whymendisappear ►FREE download: “The Green Light Guide to Dating After 50” https://lastfirstdate.com/green-light-guide/ ►Group Coaching: https://lastfirstdate.com/the-woman-of-value-club/ ►Website → https://lastfirstdate.com/ ► Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/lastfirstdate1/ ►Get Amazon Music Unlimited FREE for 30 days at https://getamazonmusic.com/lastfirstdate
There's a strange shift happening in how we talk about emotions.On the surface, it sounds healthy. Emotionally intelligent. Even enlightened.But beneath the polished language is something far more unsettling.Words that were meant to heal are now being weaponized, used to confuse, divide, and shut people down. Therapy-speak has become social currency. Emotional intelligence has turned into a performance. And everyday disagreements are increasingly framed as abuse.When did self-awareness become a competition?When did healing language turn into a way to win arguments?And what happens when normal human conflict gets pathologized?This video explores how our emotional vocabulary is changing and what it's costing us.
On this episode of It's The Bottom Line that Matters, hosts Jennifer Glass, Daniel McCraine, and Patricia Reszetylo dive deep into the art and strategy of vetting business opportunities—without letting emotions cloud your judgment. From personal stories of jumping too quickly into deals to considering the hidden costs, alignment, and the people behind the opportunity, the conversation covers essential criteria every entrepreneur should consider before saying yes (or no).Explore how evaluating business opportunities isn't just about finances and fit, but also about the impact on your overall freedom, business trajectory, and long-term success. Whether you're looking at new partnerships, expanding your services, or considering a startup, this episode provides practical insights on asking the right questions, recognizing red flags, and making decisions that move your business forward.Tune in to hear real-world experiences, thoughtful debate, and expert advice—all aimed to help you make smarter decisions for your bottom line.Listen now and learn how to vet business opportunities with strategy, discernment, and confidence.About the hosts:Jennifer Glass sets the tone for the "It's The Bottom Line That Matters" podcast, guiding listeners through the nuances of making business decisions with strategy and clarity. Jennifer's journey reflects someone who is not afraid to leap into new opportunities, even if it means stepping outside her comfort zone. She credits her willingness to join coaching groups and mastermind programs with shaping her network, career, and ultimately bringing together the podcast co-hosts. Through her experiences—whether purchasing a mastermind or integrating services that align with her business—Jennifer emphasizes the importance of thinking strategically, paying attention to connections, and always considering if an opportunity fits her vision of freedom.Daniel McCraine is a consultant with a flair for evaluating business opportunities, sometimes jumping quickly, as with his story about acquiring a robocalling company. He candidly discusses the lessons learned from opportunities that didn't pan out, stressing the importance of alignment, resources, and strategic fit. Daniel's openness to new ventures, even when they fit “hand in glove,” is balanced by his wisdom to walk away when things just aren't right. He brings a practical lens, reminding listeners that sometimes saying “no” to even good opportunities is part of being a successful entrepreneur.Patricia Reszetylo brings a reflective and experiential approach to business growth. She shares how joining a coaching consortium challenged her on multiple levels and, despite not being fully prepared for the path, she views the experience as a stepping stone—one that led to meaningful relationships and new career directions. Patricia focuses on the people behind business opportunities, recognizing that the nature of collaboration and partnership can make or break ventures. Her insights encourage listeners to consider not just the business models but also the personalities and teams involved.Together, Jennifer Glass, Daniel McCraine, and Patricia Reszetylo use their personal stories and hard-earned lessons to help others make wise choices when vetting business opportunities. Their shared message: think strategically, evaluate deeply, and surround yourself with the right people for success.Keywords: business opportunities, vetting opportunities, emotional decision making, business expansion, hiring decisions, business acquisitions, marketing tools, business alignment, startup challenges, resource allocation, opportunity cost, evaluating opportunities, financial investment, customer base, partnerships, joint ventures, mastermind groups, coaching consortium, product expansion, review management, business growth, risk management, strategic decision making, saying no, opportunity evaluation criteria, relationship with partners, business trajectory
Dr. Rick's leadership training on what it means to be a healthy and mature leader. Because leadership is tied to one's identity, leadership reveals a person's true identity.
Some books are incredible experiences.They challenge us.They wreck us emotionally.They leave a permanent mark.And then… once is enough.In this episode of Fantasy for the Ages, Jim and Zach talk about fantasy, science fiction, and horror books they're genuinely glad they read, but have absolutely no desire to ever revisit. Not because they're bad. Not because they failed. But because they succeeded too well.We discuss:• Emotionally devastating reads• Intellectually exhausting masterpieces• Surprise heavyweights that hit harder than expected• Horror novels that did their job too well• Why rereadability is NOT the same thing as qualityThis is a reflective, conversation-driven episode about how we read, why we read, and how our relationship with books changes over time.
We live in the dark ages when it comes to emotion. We have been taught to do things like suppress, deny, ignore, numb out to and bulldoze through our emotion. So, it isn't a surprise that most people have no idea what is going on with themselves emotionally. Here is an exercise which will help with this.
When we're taught that "love" is conditional on outside approval, when we're taught to fear authority rather than stand in our personal power, when we're expected to provide unwavering loyalty and praise, even at our own expense—we come into adulthood deeply emotionally debilitated. Emotionally immature parents and caregivers leave lasting wounds on their children—a fear of rejection and abandonment, fawning and people pleasing, a lack of boundaries and sense of agency, trouble with relationships and attachment, and maybe worst of all, a deep confusion about what love is. In this episode, associate counselor Taylor Pearl joins me to get into emotionally immature parents—the core traits, the impact, and the healing we need.Want to work with Remy? Go here.Email: patraumaparty@gmail.comFind us on:InstagramTikTokThe contents of this podcast are provided for informational purposes only. None of the material presented is intended to be a substitute for psychotherapy, counseling, professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. If you need to speak with a professional, you can find one local to you and reach out directly, or, in the US, you can call 988 to connect with the Suicide & Crisis Hotline.
For Woven client, Abby, the experience of cycle charting provided far more insight than simple family planning. It opened up a whole new world of discovery as she recognized the role her reproductive hormones played in her emotional state and creative potential. After charting her cycles with the Creighton Model System, she began working with these natural rhythms instead of against them and her creative and personal endeavors came alive. As a professional dancer and athlete, she used to berate herself for having needs and strengths that morphed throughout her cycle. Now, she changed her perspective to honor them. I'm excited for you to hear more from Abby herself in this episode. Enjoy!NOTE: This episode is appropriate for all audiences.GUEST BIO: Abby is a Jesus follower and professional dancer. She serves as the Artistic Director of a Christian ballet company in Kansas City, Dramatic Truth Ballet Theatre. OTHER HELPFUL EPISODES:Ep. 28: When your body feels brokenEp. 134: Realistic Cycle Syncing for Every Woman, with Megan FallerSend us a textSupport the showOther great ways to connect with Woven Natural Fertility Care: Learn the Creighton Model System with us! Register here! Get our monthly newsletter: Get the updates! Chat about issues of fertility + faith: Substack Follow us on Instagram: @wovenfertility Watch our episodes on YouTube: @wovenfertility Love the content? The biggest gift you could give is to click a 5 star review and write why it was so meaningful! This podcast is provided for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute providing medical advice or professional services. The information provided should not be used for diagnosing or treating a health problem or disease, and those seeking personal medical advice should consult with a licensed physician. Always seek the advice of your doctor or other qualified health provider regarding a medical condition. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency room immediately. Neither Woven nor its staff, nor any contributor to this podcast, makes any represe...
Send JKO a Text MessageThere is a steep price you pay when you live with an emotionally absent man. Not just you, but your children, your family, and your community. JKO discusses the cost and the steps you can take when leaving is not possible. Nuggets of wisdom in this episode Signs of emotional absence The emotional, physical, spiritual, and economic price you pay 7 concrete actions to help you and your children now 3 tiny practices that can make a whole lot of difference Safety Note: Please use these ideas in a way that feels right and safe for your situation. For personal support, reach out to someone you trust or a local service in your area. Picture on cover adapted from Canva. Support the show If Messy Can't Stop Her blesses or inspires you, please consider supporting it at supportmessycantstopher.buzzsprout.com. Thank you for being part of this journey. If you would love to share your story on the #MessyCantStopHer podcast, click here to let me know. Thank you so much for listening. Music Credit: https://indiefy.me/wanted-carter
Love Strategies: Dating and Relationship Advice for Successful Women
Most people think physical attraction is what keeps a relationship going.In reality, it's emotional attraction that determines whether things fade out or grow deeper.Apply for Your FREE Love Strategy Session: https://www.loveapply.comIn this podcast, I break down the 8 things men find emotionally attractive and why these qualities matter far more than looks or chemistry alone.NEXT STEP: Book a complimentary Love Strategy Session and let us help you attract love this year: https://go.lovestrategies.com/session
On this episode, host Shanera Williamson sits down for an interesting conversation with Kayla Bond, a Licensed Certified Social Worker and Clinical (LCSW-C) Maryland State Board Approved Supervisor with 7+ years of experience and founder of Hope & Harmony services. Kayla coaches rising social workers and professional counselors. Recently, she's also helped parents learn from her years of clinical work with teens as she tells us some of the things teens wish their parents knew. She is driven by the opportunity to help people achieve sustained holistic wellness and she has a passion to help parents learn the skill of becoming emotionally responsive. Download the Parenting Growth Mindset Roadmap Connect with Kayla Bond at HopeHealsLLC@gmail.com Connect with Shanera and Brown Mama Bear: Facebook, Instagram, Website Make sure you share Brown Mama Bear with at least 3 friends so you have someone to talk with about these things.
On today's episode of The Therapy Crouch, Abbey and Peter are back together for the first time since Christmas — and there's a lot to unpack. From festive wins and forgotten Yorkshire puddings to why January suddenly turns everyone into a life coach, the pair reflect on the emotional hangover that comes after the holidays.They dive into the pressure of New Year expectations, from five-year plans and relationship check-ins to Dry January guilt and gym anxiety. Peter shares stories from a surreal Dubai trip rubbing shoulders with football legends, while Abbey recounts a genuinely horrifying nail injury that landed her in hospital.In the Agony Abs, listeners open up about outgrowing old friendships, feeling emotionally drained by familiar faces, and the shame spiral that comes with January self-improvement attempts. Abbey and Peter offer honest, reassuring advice on letting relationships evolve, easing off unrealistic resolutions, and giving yourself a bit of grace during a heavy month.It's funny, reflective, occasionally chaotic — and exactly the January reset you didn't know you needed.00:00 – Opening chaos, banter and Christmas hangover energy01:04 – Christmas recap02:09 – Weekly Wine: forgotten Yorkshire puddings & bean debates04:27 – Abbey's Christmas rant: mums doing all the work06:07 – Listener message: January deep chats and relationship fatigue08:00 – New Year pressure, five-year plans and “New year, new me” dread10:07 – Moon landings, Elon Musk and conspiracy detour12:30 – Mum's annual January life-audit15:28 – Dry Jan intentions and realistic resets21:00 – Dubai trip, sports legends and football name-dropping chaos26:16 – Abbey's nail injury horror story in Dubai31:25 – New Year resolutions, health, longevity and body scans33:18 – Deep dive: consciousness, death and untapped brain power42:08 – Agony Abs: outgrowing old friendships46:25 – Gym guilt, January shame and realistic fitness advice50:10 – Wrapping up, birthdays and subscribe reminderEmail: thetherapycrouch@gmail.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetherapycrouchpodcastTikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@thetherapycrouch Website: https://thetherapycrouch.com/ For more from Peterhttps://twitter.com/petercrouchFor more from Abbeyhttps://www.instagram.com/abbeyclancyOur clips channelhttps://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZntcv96YhN8IvMAKsz4Dbg#TheTherapyCrouch #AbbeyAndPete #RelationshipAdvice #Podcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Why don't most Men don't share everything with their wife? —and what does that actually mean? Today Barry talks to the ladies on why men withhold emotional and mental stress from their partners. He discusses the inherent differences between men and women and offers strategies for fostering better communication and understanding in relationships. Join FatherFuel for more: https://www.fatherseekers.org/fatherfuelFS Facebook FS Instagram FS YouTube Ask Barry a question: barry@fatherseekers.orgTIMELINE00:00 Why Men Withhold Emotions01:08 Understanding Men's Emotional Vulnerability02:23 The Risk of Sharing Emotions03:33 Women's Role in Men's Emotional Health04:33 Biological and Psychological Differences05:57 The Impact of Emotional Sharing on Relationships07:50 Men as Emotional Regulators11:26 Connection vs. Containment16:48 The Biblical Perspective20:28 The Need for Male Brotherhood22:20 Embracing Your Role--FatherSeekers helps fatherless fathers become better fathers.Get discussion guides, devotionals, and more at FS Website
Do you walk on eggshells around your teenage daughter? Does your teen girl tend to be emotionally explosive? Are you frustrated by her attitude and drama? Today I have Sara Lewis Hartley on to talk about this very topic. Sara is a mom of 2 neurodivergent boys, healthcare executive, children's author, and certified ADHD & neurodiversity coach. She is the creator of the ALIGN Parenting Method™, a 5-step grounding tool that helps parents pause, reset, and respond with calm instead of reacting in frustration. Sara is also the author of the Purposefully Me children's book series, written to empower kids to embrace their differences, build resilience, and find their unique purpose. You can find Sara: Website: www.saralewishartley.com Instagram: @saralewishartley Are you looking for ways to communicate with your girl so she can start opening up to you? Do you want to understand why is it so hard to approach your girl? Are you stuck on how to approach your teenage daughter in conversation without her freaking out? SIGN UP FOR TALK TO YOUR TEEN GIRL FRAMEWORK!! A 6-WEEK JOURNEY TO SHIFT HOW YOU COMMUNICATE SO SHE CAN COME TO YOU! You'll walk away with a deeper understanding the changes happening to your girl, Equipped in your new role as COACH in this teen stage, and establish better communication pathways to connect and grow closer with your daughter Imagine if you and your daughter can finally have conversations at a level where she doesn't need to hide anything from you! Plus, you'll get to meet other mamas who are all in the same boat.... SIGN UP HERE! You can find me here: Work with me: www.talktyourteengirl.com Connect: hello@jeanniebaldomero.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/raisingherconfidently Free mom support community: www.raisingherconfidently.com
Send us a textIn this week's episode of the Fragmented to Whole Podcast, I'm sharing a powerful realization from my own recovery journey: the pattern of emotionally unavailable partners wasn't just about who I was choosing, it was about my own emotional availability.For years, I believed I was unlucky in love. Through ACA recovery and a deep relationship inventory, I discovered how my nervous system, conditioning, and avoidance of emotions were shaping my relationships far more than I realized.Some of the talking points I go over in this episode include:Why attracting emotionally unavailable partners is often a sign of emotional unavailability within yourself.How ACA Step Four and the concept of causes and conditions revealed my relationship patterns.The role of emotional avoidance, numbing, and codependence in romantic dynamics.How emotions like resentment are signals, not verdicts, and what they're really telling you.Why boundaries are about clarity and self-responsibility, not control.If you want healthier, more secure relationships, the work doesn't start with finding better partners. It starts with becoming emotionally available to yourself. Learning to feel, listen, speak honestly, and set boundaries is where real change happens.Relationship inventory categories:PersonWhat I expectedWhat I gotMy dependent behaviorHow relationship endedAdditional categories I tracked:Who was I in love with?Who was I in relationship wth where we both knew “we're boyfriend and girlfriend?”Which relationships included massive substance use?Which relationships included infidelity with either of us?Which ones were friends with benefits?Who did I break up with and who broke up with me?Be sure to tune in to all the episodes for practical tools, recovery insights, and real-life examples of what it means to live a more whole life.Thank you for listening! If this episode resonated, take a screenshot, share it in your stories, and tag me. And don't forget to follow, rate, and review the podcast and share your biggest takeaway.Learn more about Fragmented to Whole athttps://higherpowercc.com/podcast/Feeling drained? Take my free Boundaries Drain Quiz to see where your energy is leaking and how to reclaim it:https://higherpowercc.com/drain/CONNECT WITH BARB NANGLE:Subscribe to “Friday Fragments” weekly newsletterLinkedinWork with Barb! Book a “Say No Without Guilt” Session
If you've ever been honest, vulnerable, and still watched her lose interest, this will finally make it make sense.
Every relationship should have stopping points when you feel yourself slipping away. Emotional abuse operates as a slow drip-feeding of toxic behaviors that gradually erode boundaries.
What if the biggest struggle your child faces isn't motivation at all, but a hidden set of brain-based skills that help them start tasks, stay organized, manage time, regulate emotions, and follow through? These are executive function skills and for kids with ADHD, they can feel nearly impossible to access. In this episode of The Soaring Child Podcast, Dana Kay welcomes executive function expert Hannah Bookbinder, a licensed social worker and educator with almost 30 years of experience helping ADHD kids build these skills in practical, meaningful ways. Hannah explains what executive function really is, how ADHD derails it, and why even the brightest, most capable kids often feel defeated by daily routines. Together, Dana and Hannah break down simple, real-world strategies families can begin using right away, from training time awareness, to using visual cues, to building routines that actually stick. Hannah also shares the story behind her new book and the MyToad App, a tool designed to teach time management, organization, accountability, and focus in one supportive space. If your child struggles with getting started, staying organized, remembering steps, or managing overwhelm, this conversation will leave you feeling understood, encouraged, and equipped with practical tools to help your child thrive. Links Mentioned in the Show▶ MyToad App: https://mytoadapp.com ▶ ADHD Symptom Reduction Tool: https://adhdthriveinstitute.com/tool Connect with Hannah ▶ Website: https://mytoadapp.com ▶ Facebook: @mytoadapp ▶ Instagram: @mytoad_llc ▶ Pinterest: @mytoadllc Key Takeaways [00:45] Invisible executive skills can make or break daily routines. [02:07] Hannah's 30-year journey supporting ADHD kids. [02:57] What executive function is — and isn't. [04:59] Understanding age appropriateness and expectations. [07:37] Validating kids' emotional exhaustion and defeat. [09:59] "Now vs. Not Now" — ADHD and urgency. [11:15] Working memory breakdowns explained. [12:23] Simple strategy: time-estimation training. [13:27] Sticky notes and mirror cues for daily routines. [18:08] Why MyToad App was created. [20:38] How the app personalizes executive function support. [23:18] Partnership and curiosity in parenting ADHD. Memorable Moments "Every morning... shoes were missing, homework was not done, panic attacks at the door." "What exactly are executive function skills…? How they don't show up in kids with ADHD." "Emotionally, they often walk in my door very defeated." "It's either now or not now." "Put your phone in airplane mode… no pings, no dings, no bloops." "Make your own shower podcast…" "This is a partnership — especially when your child has a special need." Dana Kay Resources:
Ever feel like you're fighting battles that aren't truly yours? You probably are. Emunah Love just explained in Get Yourself Optimized that most of us carry cellular imprints from ancestors, past lives, and childhood trauma that create invisible ceilings—and we don't even know they're there. Traditional therapy helps you manage these patterns. Emunah clears them at the root. Her journey started with profound trauma. Father was killed by the police at age 8. Emotionally unavailable mother. A world that felt fundamentally unsafe. But she had this unwavering faith that kept her searching for "more." During a trip to Israel, she met a stranger named Emunah (Hebrew for "faith"). Her body lit up like firecrackers. She instantly knew: That's my real name. That's who I am. Fast forward 30 years of healing work, and she's now channeling high-vibration beings to help leaders transmute energetic blocks in single sessions. Her clients report shifts that years of traditional approaches couldn't touch. She intentionally creates outcomes BEFORE they happen. Before traveling, she visualizes smooth flights, amazing conversations, and perfect timing. Before seeing family, she surrounds everyone in love and sees a joyful connection. Then she shows up fully present to experience what her intention created. It works. Every. Single. Time. If you're ready to see what's been running in the background and finally break free, this episode is essential. Listen now! The show notes, including the transcript and checklist to this episode, are at getyourselfoptimized.com/547.
Let us know how you enjoyed this episode!Do you feel like being "quick to anger" or "irritable" is just part of who you are? In this episode, we shatter the lie that reactivity is a personality trait. You will learn the difference between your biological temperament and learned regulation skills, and how to use specific emotional language to stop arguments before they spiral.Here's what I dive into:- Temperament vs. Regulation- The "Skill Gap": Why reactivity isn't your fault, but it is your responsibility- The Power of Specificity: How expanding your emotional intelligence (EQ) can help improve your marriageResources:Download the Emotion Wheel hereGrab the Conflict to Connection Guide hereOr if you're ready for support - schedule your clarity call here to learn more about how marriage coaching can help you!Thanks for listening!Connect and send a message letting me know what you took away from this episode: @michellepurtacoaching and follow me on threads @michellepurtacoaching!If you would like to support this show, please rate and review the show, and share it with people you know would love this show too!Additional Resources:Ready to put a stop to the arguments in your marriage? Watch this free masterclass - The #1 Conversation Married Couples Need To Have (But Aren't)Want to handle conflict with more confidence? Download this free workbook!Wanna make communication feel easy and stop feeling like roommates so you can bring back the romance and excitement into your marriage? Learn more about how coaching here!Support the show