Less Than Stellar

What’s that amazing invigorating feeling?? I do believe that’s a LEVEL UP, YEAH BOYYY!!! Aside from getting a teeny tiny bit more competent (don’t expect much), the gang learns a bit more about each other, sees a bit TOO MUCH of each other, and gets together to form a perfect, completely foolproof, totally profesh plan to save the planet and also their own lives! Less than stellar who??? Theme by Daniel Mercieca

Our less than stellar heroes are tasked with a simple quest: disable a single turret. Easy, right? There's no way they'll stretch this one thing into a whole episode, you'll think. Sooooo, about that… Warning: episode might contain flashbacks… backs… backs…Bioengineering Suite by Hayden Folker / Music by Purple Planet Music

It’s just an ordinary day for Orion’s Most Competent Mercs. They’re threatened by cowboy turians with questionable accents, mess up some priceless Prothean ruins, and are altogether way less alarmed than they probably should be considering all signs point to an imminent pirate attack, but who’s counting?   Theme by Daniel Mercieca / Additional music by Purple Planet

WE’RE SAVED! Now our merry band of mercs is stuck in a car with Bruno and he might just think that Cage is Steridan, awkwaaard, but we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it. Which we will. And we did. So it only took us 10 episodes but we’re finally at our destination, the famous Trappist-1E brewery! Definitely no secrets to be found here! Theme by Daniel Mercieca / Additional music by Purple Planet

Good news is we didn't die last time! Bad news is we very much still could. So now the team is stranded on a shitty planet, one man down, and the temperature is dropping fast. Needless to say morale ain’t great, our less than stellar team must work together to get out of this one. Unfortunately that’s easier said than done… Warning, might induce flashbacks -backs -backs. Theme by Daniel Mercieca

Last we saw our merry mercs they were plummeting towards certain death in a tiny escape pod. Guess what, they still are! Do they survive or is this the end of the podcast?? It was nice knowing you, folks, see you at the next podcast! Theme by Daniel Mercieca

So, remember that CERTAIN EXPLOSIVE PLANETARY IMPACT DEATH? Yeah that’s happening. Unfortunately the enemies don’t have a sense of self-preservation and insist on attacking us, WTH?! The episode where we bully the GM more than usual, sorry Dan ♡ Theme by Daniel Mercieca / Additional music by CO..AG Music

What is New Year, if not an excuse for a party? Orion is hosting and the booze is free, so of course our questionable crew is in attendance! Things get... existential. This is the way the year ends, this is the way the year ends, not with a bang but with a crying vorcha. Music by Purple Planet / Mic FX by chimerical

Merry Christmas and happy holidays from Mal, Ellis, Cage, and Myrina! The Orion mercenary company is instituting mandatory holiday bonding for all teams. Ever wondered what carols Salarians sing? How Christmas is spent on Omega? Exactly just how trashy Ellis’ family is? Well, wonder no more! It turns out even the holidays can be... Less Than Stellar.

So upsides is they’re safe and Steriden has a plan! Well… sort of. Now our dubious heroes face a choice: will they Do The Right Thing or will they save their own hides from CERTAIN EXPLOSIVE PLANETARY IMPACT DEATH? Warning: the ball pit is back, baby!   Theme by Daniel Mercieca / Additional music by Purple Planet

Aaand things are exploding. Barely into their first mission, our very green mercs now have to fight for their lives in zero G, you know, #justspacethings. We go people bowling, way too many puns are told, and an unlikely friend is found. Just another Less Than Stellar day! Theme by Daniel Mercieca / Additional music by Purple Planet and Kevin MacLeod.

WEE WOO WEE WOO is not the sound you want to hear in space. A ship is hailing with a distress signal but our barely competent team is sceptical. Is it a friendly pizza delivery service or are they about to get attempted murdered? One way to find out! Trouble on Mercury, They're Here by Eric Matyas

One thing they don’t mention about space travel is that it takes forever, but luckily, our motley crew know just how to pass it. Some light sparring will surely uncover which of these jokers are the true mercenaries. And some competences might just surprise anyone. Warning: episode may contain ball pits. SCI-FI UI by PremiumBeats / Trouble on Mercury by Eric Matyas / Intro song by Daniel Mercieca  

This brand-spanking-new mercenary team meets the Big Boss and he is definitely not suspicious at all. Nothing wrong here. Mission parameters are laid out, a lot of water is delivered, someone has a surprise flashback, and is that someone hiding in the shadows or did they take a few too many hot shots?

A human, a turian, a salarian, and an asari walk into a bar, because what is an adventure that doesn’t start in a tavern... on the moon? Paths cross, teams are formed, and one too many Jalapeño shot is downed. We're all sure none of this can go horribly wrong, right?

If you’re new to the Mass Effect universe or you just want a thorough introduction to the characters at play, this is the episode for you! Join GM Daniel Mercieca, Becky Portelli (Ellis), Fleur Sciortino (Mal), Chelsea Sciortino (Cage), and Suus de Kock (Myrina) as we lay out the universe and the protagonists we’re all going to be stuck with.