Love Rice

Love Rice is a podcast created by Bloom. Hosted by therapists Jeni Gessel and Dr. Kevin Skinner. Specializing in healing trauma from sexual betrayal and sexually based addiction. You can find out more about Bloom at bloomforwomen.com. To submit questions you can reach us at hello@bloomforwomen.com.

Love Rice is a podcast created by Bloom. Hosted by therapists Jeni Gessel and Dr. Kevin Skinner. Specializing in healing trauma from sexual betrayal and sexually based addiction. You can find out more about Bloom at bloomforwomen.com. To submit questions you can reach us at hello@bloomforwomen.com.

Love Rice is a podcast created by Bloom. Hosted by therapists Jeni Gessel and Dr. Kevin Skinner. Specializing in healing trauma from sexual betrayal and sexually based addiction. You can find out more about Bloom at bloomforwomen.com. To submit questions you can reach us at hello@bloomforwomen.com.

Love Rice is a podcast created by Bloom. Hosted by therapists Jeni Gessel and Dr. Kevin Skinner. Specializing in healing trauma from sexual betrayal and sexually based addiction. You can find out more about Bloom at bloomforwomen.com. To submit questions you can reach us at hello@bloomforwomen.com.

What to do with anger? A common yet confusing emotional response. Love Rice is a podcast created by Bloom. Hosted by therapists Jeni Gessel and Dr. Kevin Skinner. Specializing in healing trauma from sexual betrayal and sexually based addiction. You can find out more about Bloom at bloomforwomen.com. To submit questions you can reach us at hello@bloomforwomen.com.

In this episode, Jeni Gessel and Dr. Skinner take a look back at a conversation from a previous episode. Specifically, discussing the concept of "how we got here." They will work to unpack that statement adding context and clarification. If you've been betrayed in your relationship it's important to understand that it's not your fault. You're not to blame for the decisions of your partner. There is benefit in keeping that perspective as you work to understand your relationship, your partner, and your path to healing.

When working on relationship repair how do we balance things like reassurance, independence, and connection? How do we begin to navigate the needs and responsibilities of ourselves and our partner when trust has been broken? In this episode, Jeni Gessel and Dr. Kevin Skinner will discuss the balancing act of relationship repair. They will look into the trust-building process and discuss some of the crucial elements involved.

Therapist Michael Blair joins the podcast for this episode. Michael discusses an approach that he uses for treating betrayal trauma called Guided Imagery. It's an approach that many of his clients have seen success with. We're excited to share it with you.

We get a lot of couples coming to us looking for help. They feel stuck and they're not sure how to move forward. They’re desperate to repair their relationship. However, navigating the process comes with challenges. There are some crucial steps to take before couples are ready to work on their relationship. In this podcast episode, Dr. Skinner and Jeni Gessel discuss what the crucial steps are that will prepare a couple for therapy. This is a great conversation that includes step-by-step guidance for couples that are considering therapy.

Do you ever feel like there are parts of you that are at war with each other? Like part of you feels one way and another part of you feels completely different? Like there’s an ongoing debate raging within your head? Struggling to understand and cope with behaviors, thoughts, or feelings is a normal thing. Especially when experiencing such tremendous heartache, pain, associated with betrayal trauma. In this podcast episode therapist and author, Jenna Riemersma talks with Dr. Kevin Skinner about a revolutionary new way of understanding your feelings and behaviors. It’s called Internal Family Systems (IFS). Jenna will discuss her new book titled Altogether You and how her life and the life of her clients have been transformed using the principles of IFS.

When there's been betrayal in a relationship a formal disclosure can be one of the foundational building blocks for rebuilding trust. In fact, of those couples that go through the disclosure process, 90% report that they were glad they did. Even more interesting is that for couples that are committed to working things out, 86% of them that discuss the betrayal thoroughly end up staying together. But is a formal disclosure the right thing for you or your relationship? Not every situation or relationship is created equal. In this episode, we discuss the dos and don'ts of navigating a formal disclosure. How you can know if you're ready for a disclosure and if a disclosure would benefit your relationship.

In this episode, we'll take a deep-dive into Dr. Skinner's research on sexually based addictions and compulsive behavior. Specifically, we'll look into one of his key findings, the role that loneliness can play in addiction. We'll discuss whether or not that loneliness is perceived or real and where it stems from, what loneliness looks like within a relationship, and how the cycle can be broken.

Reconnecting intimately after sexual betrayal can be difficult and scary. When trust and safety have been broken it's nearly impossible for intimacy to exist. However, there is a process of reestablishing trust and safety in a way that can create space for vulnerability and intimacy to be reintroduced. In this episode, therapist Karen Strange joins the podcast to discuss the process of intimacy reintegration. Karen is one of the founders of the Center For Sexual & Relational Health. She brings a unique combination of training and experience as she is both a Sex Therapist and a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist. She will discuss how intimacy is much more than sex and why that's so important for couples to understand. She will also outline the crucial steps that need to be taken before a couple is ready to begin reintegrating intimacy into their relationship.

In this episode, Jeni Gessel and Dr. Kevin Skinner have an insightful conversation about fear, shame, empathy, and relationships. You'll learn the importance of giving fear a voice, how shame keeps things stuck, and the important role empathy can play in healing a relationship.

Fight, flight, or freeze. When we're faced with a traumatic experience we respond in one of three ways. Responding to betrayal in our relationships isn't any different. The question is why do we respond the way we do and is it possible to control our response in sudden traumatic situations? You'll also learn which one of these responses is actually the most traumatizing.

Whether we realize it or not our minds seek out distraction to avoid difficult thoughts or emotions. Some call this "numbing out." Keeping a busy schedule, always being on the go, or turning to social media and technology to keep our minds occupied. Over the past couple of months as our schedules have slowed and social connections have been distanced we're finding ourselves alone with our thoughts. And for a lot of us, it's been extremely difficult. So how do we face these difficult thoughts and emotions? How do we process these thoughts so we can slow down to live intentionally?

We're in a difficult time. We're trying to make sense of the new topsy-turvy world we're living through during this pandemic. For a lot of us, we're finding ourselves isolated with no escape and it's taking a toll on our happiness and mental clarity. This is especially difficult when you're already trying to navigate the complexities of a difficult relationship. When you don't feel connected to your spouse/partner and you can't take a break from the kids how do you cope and not go crazy? Jeni Gessel and Dr. Kevin Skinner will discuss some things they're seeing with their own clients and what they've found to be the most effective way to create time for self-care. Time to breathe and think and feel connected with yourself again. This is so important as we're stuck in isolation.

Love Rice is making a comeback! As we've been working on new episodes we thought we would record something to support you during this time of uncertainty. Jeni Gessel and Dr. Kevin Skinner dive into how we can respond during times of uncertainty and high anxiety. They explore what the research says about our response during these times and how resiliency plays a role. Dr. Skinner offers the opportunity to take a free resiliency quiz. Here's that link: https://www.discoverandchange.com/tests/resiliency-quiz-registration/ We hope this episode provides a little bit of extra support and encouragement. New episodes are on the way in the not too distant future.

You'll want to listen to this one twice. Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife walks us through the tension of belonging to ourselves and belong to those we love. We talk about how to create strength in ourselves and in our relationships.

This episode is perfect for you if you’re looking for a deeper more purposeful version of self-care. The kind of self-care we’ll explore is less about bubble baths and working out and more about what we need in order to feel the way we want to feel. Giving self-care a rooted purpose creates more powerful healing. “When the Universe give you a sign, you pull over.”

This story is about compassion tied to action. It’s about a nation displaced. It’s about the power of language to build and heal. It’s about humanity and it’s about home. Listen, as we follow the evolution of Hayley Smith, founder and director of Lifting Hands International http://www.liftinghandsinternational.org/. Over the last year, Hayley decided she could no longer be a bystander in the worldwide refugee crisis. Early January 2016, on the small island of Lesvos, Greece she came face to face with what she describes as a desperate human exodus. Iraqi, Syrian, and Afghan men, women, and children fleeing Turkey for the hopeful safety of European waters. What she saw changed everything. Show Notes: https://bloomforwomen.com/pages/blog-entry.php?id=KEmC1dDqKq

You know those relationship bumps and disconnections that feel impossible to navigate? Maybe ignoring, bulldozing or building resentments seem easier? Our guest shares how assertiveness is often the answer. “Assertiveness is the path to connection love authenticity and being known.” (big quote) Being assertive-in the Dr. Julie de Azevedo Hanks (http://www.drjuliehanks.com/) way- can create more love, more knowing, and more healing in a relationship, which seems counter-intuitive. In this Love Rice (https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/love-rice/id1106925653?mt=2) episode, Dr. Julie Hanks walks us through one of her own recent “assertiveness” experiences and then we dissect my own. gulp. We’ll talk about: • The Dr. Julie Hanks definition of assertiveness • How assertiveness and vulnerability go hand in hand • The important part empathy and understanding play in assertiveness • How to be truly known and authentic For more discussion follow us on Instagram @bloomforwomen.com

This Love Rice episode is about decisions and self-care. Today, we'll hear one woman's story about how she experimented with discovering her own creativity through remodeling her kitchen table. She found purpose, self-confidence, and a sense of peace even in the wake of a difficult decision.

Today’s show is all about boundaries and love. I have a fascinating conversation with Dr. Brad Reedy LMFT, owner of Evoke Therapy Programs which specializes in wilderness therapy for teens, young adults, and families. Even though we talk about parenting, this conversation and Dr. Reedy’s online class at Bloom gave me more depth and understanding about boundaries. We’ll also talk about how to hold space for other people, the value of honoring our own darkness and how to hold our own space with confidence. If you’re seeking more direction and courage for yourself and your relationships, this episode will stir ideas to help you discover what actions you can take.

When considering a big change, I’ve mapped it out, planned it out, and then ripped it up and tossed it through the window because there was too much pain and too many unknowns. It’s easy to get knotted up in the hows, whats, and whys instead of taking the kind of leaps that change everything in our lives. It can be paralyzing. If you've had any experience teetering on this edge, our Love Rice episode with New York Times Best selling author, spiritual teacher, fellow podcaster, and white t-shirt-and-jeans-wearing family man Rob Bell will speak to you.

I’ve been thinking a lot about kids and truth and hard messy family stuff. I’ve actually been thinking about it for years. And, like many of you, I’ve wondered how do you tell the kids, and what to tell them, and when do you tell them. In today’s podcast, we talk with Starr, a first-grade teacher and mother of three. She tells her childhood story of being told about some messy truths in her family. If you have the same questions I have about kids and messy truths, this episode is perfect for you.

We're back for Season 2! Today we wanted to stop and celebrate our first birthday with the stories of some of our tribe.

Meet Jessica Spieth, wife, mother, hippy and founder of the HÓZHÓ project, an organization that focuses on stories and photos about real people. Using gorgeous black and white photos of people to highlight their strength and beauty in the midst of heartache, Jessica tries to take the shame out of pain.In this episode we’ll learn something about the Navajo language, the power of a black and white photo, and how the book, The Princess Bride changes lives.

In today's episode we meet Lauren. She is a mother, teacher and a blogger. We'll follow the story of how she navigated her marriage post-affair and the music that inspired her along the way. When her friend told her, "You're gonna have to watch him go through a breakup" she dug deep to hold on to her faith, her family and her self-love.

Listen to the story of the Gold Minivan, a child who is bullied and the endless power we have to lift and reconstruct ourselves. Meet lifestyle, nutrition and fitness coach Angela Martindale. These are her stories and I think you’ll come to love her as much as I do!

Today’s episode is about triggers, you know, that nasty little something that can throw us back, recalling difficult memories. You’ll hear how a trigger caught Scabs by surprise and what she did when it threatened to put a damper on everything.

In this episode we delve a little deeper into the patterns that keep us stuck. Dr. Finlayson-fife talks about how to cross the bridge of owning our sexuality in the face of betrayal and defining what kind of sex we want. We’ll discuss the confusing extremes we sometimes feel of wanting to ban sex and/or wanting to have all kinds of sex. And, we’ll see that caring for our sexuality is the same process whether or not we have a partner.

Sex is so confusing in love, deception and marriage…throw in a little dash of porn or an affair and who the hell knows what’s gonna happen. Hear, sex therapist, Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife's take on all this.

What’s the scoop on Internet accountability software and filters? Ron DeHass founder of Covenant Eyes shares a devastating personal loss that lead to his passion and new life’s work to find solutions for families that want to keep pornography out of their homes. He talks with Dr. Kevin Skinner about family accountability and how to open the conversation between our children and our spouses.

Blind spot: The Audacious Life, is a story told by Stephani Roberts. Stephani is the author and podcaster of The Audacious Life, an organization that helps men and women recognize and heal from emotional/verbal abuse. This story is about her genesis and her evolution. It’s about how she began to see patterns in all her relationships. Stephani noticed the common denominator was her and with this awakening, she discovered her blind spot.

We talk about how to get off the couch and stop eating oreos, Dance Dance Revolution, how to get better sleep and how the movement of our bodies expands and grows our brains! What Dr John Ratey and I have in common: we love brains!!

Explore weird therapy, EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing), through the eyes of one woman’s man-hating experience. I promise, this story is worth it! For the record, Bloom does not support man-hating in any form. Warning: this episode can be triggering for those who have dealt with sexual abuse or assault.

Do we ‘see’ the people that walk in and out of our lives? How can we ‘see’ and be ‘seen.' Listen to Paul Parkin, empathy researcher, share his own life-changing empathy experiences and his thoughts on empathy, boundaries and betrayal.

Many of us know the nuts feelings of navigating the fallout of betrayal. Most of the time it might feel hopeless but the truth is, there’s incredible hope! This interview will validate you and you’ll find peace and understanding. Listen to Dr. Sue Johnson, author of Hold Me Tight and Dr. Kevin Skinner, therapist, researcher, and co-founder of Bloom nerd-out on the science of bonding.