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Being nice and being a pushover are not the same thing, and only one of them gets you respected.Danny Goldberg wrote the book on this, literally. He's the author of "A Little Bit of A$$hole," and he joins the show to talk about the fine line between people pleasing and having real boundaries, and why the leaders who get remembered are the ones who know the difference.Here's what you'll learn:The gut-check question that tells you it's time to stop people-pleasing, before resentment builds.Why pushing harder when someone stalls backfires, and exactly what to do instead.The real difference between confidence and being a jerk, which means you can stand firm and still be liked.Why companies hire resumes and fire personalities, and why that's exactly backwards for building a team.The one thing you should never do at the end of a talk or a hard conversation, so next time you leave people with your strongest point instead of a shrug.Boundaries don't make you a jerk. They make you someone people respect.If you needed permission to stop over-explaining every no, this is it. Grab Danny's book, "A Little Bit of A$$hole," at littlebitahole.com.Connect with Danny M. Goldberg at:https://www.linkedin.com/in/dannymgoldberg and on Twitter - DannyMGoldberg>>> Book an Executive Presence Audit at https://speakandstandout.com/executive-presence>>> Experts Edge newsletter delivered right to you inbox: https://speakandstandout.com/bid-newsletterConnect with me on:LinkedIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurie-ann-murabitoInstagram: @laurieann.murabitoVisit my website for more advice and tipsThank you for listening, LA
In this episode, Minter Dial is joined by Omar Khan, whose global upbringing and eclectic academic journey—from Cairo to Oxford to Stanford—frames a lifetime quest to build bridges rather than barriers. The conversation focused on Omar Khan's philosophy of “loving assertiveness,” a practice shaped by his studies in behavioural psychology, leadership coaching, and Nonviolent Communication. A key theme that emerged was the profound impact of educational systems on shaping adaptable, thoughtful leaders, with the discussion exploring differences between American and British university traditions, and how these experiences equipped Omar for an unconventional career spanning law, consultancy, and executive coaching. The pair delves into the crucial role of high-quality conversations in organisations—why surface-level or avoided discussions undermine strategy, and how authentic, needs-based dialogue can transform teams and drive results. Several points were raised, including the challenge of fostering genuine transformation in corporate cultures, moving beyond formulaic approaches to strategy towards deeper empathy and curiosity, and the need for leadership vulnerability. The discussion explored tools like the “impact filter” and highlights practical approaches for embedding emotional intelligence and loving assertiveness in business, even amid deep-rooted conflict or post-crisis environments. Whether you're wrestling with difficult conversations in your team, seeking to cultivate empowered, resilient leaders, or looking for frameworks to bridge divides within complex organisations, this episode provides incisive insights and actionable models. Tune in as Minter Dial and Omar Khan unpack why the future of work—and society—hinges on our willingness to listen, connect, and have the courageous conversations that truly matter.
Cultivating H.E.R. Space: Uplifting Conversations for the Black Woman
Assertiveness. When do you use your voice? How do you use your voice? What does it look like when you assert yourself? Where did you learn to use your voice? The answers to each of those questions gives you insight into how you express assertiveness. If you have listened to previous episodes on boundary setting and confidence then this throwback Thursday's topic will add to your arsenal of being a woman living in her authenticity. Terri and Dom explore examples of assertiveness and also distinguish assertiveness from aggressiveness, passiveness, and passive-aggressiveness. Asserting yourself may require risk but it will benefit you and everyone around you in the end. Be sure to scroll down to learn how to navigate situations that require assertiveness. Quote of the Day: "I think of the next girl who is going to come along who looks like me, and I hope, 'Maybe, just maybe, my voice will help her.'" -Serena Williams Helpful resources mentioned: Tips to improve assertiveness identify the behavior; the impact; your feelings and what you want changed use "I" statements speak loudly and clearly avoiding pauses and "ums" own what you need aim for positivity and collaboration https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/features/a28209579/serena-williams-us-open-2018-essay/ From Psychology Today: "Assertiveness is a social skill that relies heavily on effective communication, while simultaneously respecting the thoughts and wishes of others. People who are assertive clearly and respectfully communicate their wants, needs, positions, and boundaries to others. There’s no question of where they stand, no matter what the topic. From a cognitive standpoint, assertive people experience fewer anxious thoughts, even when under stress. From a behavioral standpoint, assertive people are firm without being rude. They react to positive and negative emotions without becoming aggressive or resorting to passivity. Individuals who are high in assertiveness don't shy away from defending their points of view or goals, or from trying to influence others to see their side. They are also open to both compliments and constructive criticism. Assertiveness is often associated with higher self-esteem and confidence. People can improve their assertiveness through practical exercises and experience." https://www.psychologicalscience.org/news/releases/black-women-leaders-approved-for-assertiveness-in-the-workplace.htmlSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
Send us Fan MailYou negotiated at least three times last week. You may not have called it negotiating. You called it asking.And in every one of those moments, your case was strong. But whether it sounded strong helped determine the answer you received.Here is the pattern that costs high-performing women more than almost anything else: the case is usually solid, but the delivery comes apart in two specific, predictable, and fixable ways—softening and overexplaining.In this episode of Communicate to Lead, Kele Belton explains why a strong ask can still receive a soft no and what to do about it in the moment. Following one leader's story from soft no's to a clean, confident ask, Kele lays out a simple three-part structure for making requests well. She also draws an important distinction between being clear and being blunt—the difference that allows you to communicate directly without creating a reputation you did not want.What You Will LearnWhy the strength of your case is not the only factor that determines whether you get a yes.The two delivery habits that quietly weaken even a well-prepared request: softening and overexplaining.A three-part structure for making a request that lands as a clear position rather than a hope.Why the silence after your ask is one of the most powerful—and difficult—parts of the conversation.The difference between softening your position and keeping warmth in your delivery.How to stay in the conversation after an initial no without retreating into overexplaining.The reframe that can change how you approach compensation conversations.Who This Is ForThis episode is for high-performing women in middle and senior management who prepare thoroughly, make a strong case, and still leave conversations with less than they asked for. If you have ever softened an ask until it disappeared or buried a good point under five extra reasons, this episode is for you.Your Action StepTake one ask you have been carrying; the one you keep meaning to make but have not yet made. Write it as three sentences:The ask, stated in one line with a number in it.The reason, framed around business impact or consequence.The word “silence,” to remind you to stop talking after you make the ask.Read it out loud, remove every softener, and schedule the conversation this week.Mentioned in This EpisodeEpisode 188 - The Mid-Year Audit: 4 Questions to Ask Yourself Before Q4Common Questions About Negotiating at WorkWhy do I get a soft no even when my case is strong?Usually, the case is not the problem. Softening the ask and overexplaining can signal that the request is optional or uncertain before the other person has even responded. The fix is in how the ask is delivered, not in building an even longer case.Will being more direct make me seem aggressive?Not necessarily. There is a difference between softening your position, which weakens your ask, and keeping warmth in your delivery, which helps the message land. Clear and warm are not opposites.What should I do when the answer is no?Treat the first no as a position, not a verdict. Instead of retreating, ask, “What would need to be true for the answer to change?” That question shifts the conversation from whether to when and can surface conditions that had not been named.How is negotiating compensation different?The structure is similar, with one important rule: frame your reason around market value and contribution, not personal need. When the conversation shifts from what your work is worth to what you need to live, your leverage can weaken.Ready to Go Deeper?Knowing the structure is one thing. Building the actual ask for your situation—the evidence you bring, the number you name, and the way you open the conversation—is easier with someone in your corner who has done this work before.A Leadership Strategy Call is a complimentary 30-minute conversation where you can bring the real ask you are sitting on and build a plan together. Let's talk about where you are, where you want to go, and what it will take to get there.Book your Leadership Strategy CallAbout Your HostKele Belton is a communication and leadership facilitator, coach, and consultant who helps high-performing women in middle and senior management move from essential but invisible to seen, sponsored, and promoted through strategic communication. She is the founder of The Tailored Approach and host of Communicate to Lead.Connect with KeleLinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/kele-ruth-belton/Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thetailoredapproach/Website: https://thetailoredapproach.comBook a Leadership Strategy Call: https://calendly.com/kele-thetailoredapproach/leadership-strategy-call
Stop Being Nice: Jung's Shadow Self and the Confidence That Comes From Boundaries Mindset habits and authentic success rarely get discussed together—but forced emotions are costing entrepreneurs real progress. In this episode, Tracy unpacks why your anger isn't the problem, your smile is. Learn the neuroscience of emotional suppression, why performative positivity sabotages your mindset, and how building emotional authenticity becomes your most powerful self-improvement habit. Perfect for busy entrepreneurs tired of toxic productivity culture. https://YourSuccessDNA.com Tracy argues that Carl Jung's “shadow self”, the parts of you you refuse to acknowledge like anger, competitiveness, selfishness, and the capacity to hurt, drives self-sabotage when it's suppressed behind a “nice” persona. It criticizes toxic positivity and people-pleasing (fawning) for training people to bury boundary violations, creating cognitive dissonance, exhaustion, resentment, and stalled progress. The host reframes anger as “data” signaling violated boundaries and defines being “dangerous” as being willing to disappoint, say no, take up space, and be disliked without becoming cruel. Using a workplace example, it shows how acknowledging anger enables assertive action (direct conversation, documentation, matching effort, or leaving), building confidence through self-respect and psychological coherence. The episode ends with a journaling exercise to name someone you perform for and write what you've been too nice to say, promoting shadow integration and individuation. 00:00 Shadow Runs Your Life 00:59 Anger Is Data 02:08 Meet The Shadow Self 03:29 People Pleasing Trap 04:06 Be Dangerous Not Nice 05:51 Confidence Through Coherence 07:07 Workplace Boundary Example 09:29 Toxic Positivity Exposed 11:14 Integrate Your Darkness 13:26 No Middle Path 16:00 One Action Tonight 17:04 Be Whole Be Dangerous shadow self, Carl Jung, shadow work, people pleasing, toxic positivity, self confidence, setting boundaries, why nice people finish last, fawning, trauma response, Self-sabotage, how to be more assertive, success habits, habits for success, mindset success, productivity, self improvement, mindset, success mindset, mindset habits, emotional fitness Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
In this episode of The Better Sex Podcast, I talk with mental health coach, psychologist, and psychoanalyst Dr. Michael Pariser about assertiveness, intimacy, and why asking for what you want can feel so vulnerable. During our conversation, Michael shares how his own experience with "nice guy syndrome" led him into the work of helping people get more honest about what they feel, what they like, and what they want. Along the way, we talk about the difference between being nice and being kind, why pleasing can turn into resentment, and what happens when we expect our partners to know what we want without ever actually saying it. Michael also breaks down what assertiveness is and what it is not. It is not aggression, and it is not passivity. It is the practice of standing in your own desire while also making room for the other person's truth. We explore how that shows up in everyday life, in long-term relationships, and especially in the bedroom, where the stakes can feel higher and the vulnerability can feel even more intense. By the end, we come back to one essential truth: better sex is not about mind reading. It is about honesty, intimacy, communication, and learning how to ask for what you want with more courage and care. Connect with Dr Micheal Website https://drpariser.com/ Assertiveness Course on Udemy https://www.udemy.com/course/the-assertiveness-formula/ Book: No More Mr. Nice Guy: The Hero's Journey, A Step-by-Step Guide to Becoming an Integrated Male: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/no-more-mr-nice-guy-dr-michael-pariser/1137496205 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drmichaelpariser Connect with Deborah Skool: https://www.skool.com/better-sex-9290 YouTube https://www.youtube.com/@deborahkat9349 Instagram https://www.instagram.com/deborahtantrakat/ Podcast Feedback DeborahTantraKat@Gmail.com Book a breakthrough session with Deborah https://app.acuityscheduling.com/schedule.php?owner=11737312&appointmentType=60692935
Do you struggle to speak up in meetings or find yourself watering down your ideas? Assertiveness isn't about being the loudest person in the room; it is built through small, daily actions. In this episode, Helen shares simple actions to increase your assertiveness.
There's a version of you that says nothing. And one that says too much. Same problem. Here's the framework — and one line to steal to develop greater assertiveness
Philosopher Stefan Molyneux lays out how men and women can't be friends in this 13 July 2026 livestream by showing how attraction between an attractive man and woman turns supposed platonic bonds into frozen codependency instead of moving toward romance, sex, marriage and children.GET FREEDOMAIN MERCH! https://shop.freedomain.com/SUBSCRIBE TO ME ON X! https://x.com/StefanMolyneuxFollow me on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@freedomain1GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND THE FULL AUDIOBOOK!https://peacefulparenting.com/Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!Subscribers get 12 HOURS on the "Truth About the French Revolution," multiple interactive multi-lingual philosophy AIs trained on thousands of hours of my material - as well as AIs for Real-Time Relationships, Bitcoin, Peaceful Parenting, and Call-In Shows!You also receive private livestreams, HUNDREDS of exclusive premium shows, early release podcasts, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!See you soon!https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/FREEDOMAIN2026
How much assertiveness is too much? Sure, we want to stand up for ourselves, but no one wants to be that guy overreacting to every perceived slight. How do we get the balance right at work, home and on the footpath when people coming the other way won't move over?If you have any questions or comments, email Ian and James at mindingyourmind2@gmail.com . Let them know any other topics you'd like them to cover.To find out more about depression and support services, you can contact Head to Health at www.headtohealth.gov.au , Beyond Blue at www.beyondblue.org.au , Lifeline at www.lifeline.org.au or on 13 11 14 and www.headspace.org.au . Thanks to Future Generation Global.If you would like to help us continue do this podcast by donating, please click here and select option two "Youth mental health research at the Brain and Mind Centre". Donations $2 and over are tax deductible. Thanks!
Where do you fall on the assertiveness scale — doormat, brutally honest, or somewhere in between? In this completely unscripted episode, Dr. Beth turns the microphone on her own household… and her family does not hold back. What starts as a Saturday-morning kitchen cleanup becomes a hilariously honest (and surprisingly insightful) family therapy session. Recorded spontaneously from her farmers-market-cluttered kitchen, Dr. Beth sits down with her 16 year old daughter and then her 18 year old daughter and husband wandering in along the way to rate each other on assertiveness, reactivity, people-pleasing, and more. (The only one who never joined the conversation was her 20-year-old son.) Between the laughter, interruptions, and sibling commentary, real wisdom emerges: why "being clear is kind," how people-pleasing blurs your own needs, why every family member processes conflict differently, and whether perfectionism is actually a problem (a debate that gets spirited). It's Never Perfect at its most literal: a real family, in real time, being really honest. In this episode, you'll learn: The 1-10 assertiveness scale and why landing between a 4 and 6 is the healthy sweet spot The three components of true assertiveness: expressing your feelings, saying no, and asking for what you need How people-pleasing and codependency blur your own needs and stress you out in the process Why we project our own standards onto others (and how that quietly damages relationships) The difference between high standards and perfectionism and where all-or-nothing thinking hurts your mental health Why parents should never put a child in just one "box" every family member has strengths and growth areas About This Episode's Guests: This episode features Dr. Beth's own family, proof that even a therapist's household is beautifully, chaotically, never perfect. No experts, no scripts, just a family being honest with each other (sometimes brutally). Connect with Dr. Beth Capecchi and the Never Perfect Podcast at www.neverperfect.org. And for a deeper dive on assertiveness, check out the earlier episode "Straight Talk." Ready to rate yourself? Hit play, grab a family member (if you dare), and ask: where do we each fall on the scale? If this episode made you laugh or think, share it with your family and leave a review, it helps more listeners find the show! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Start every morning with a positive mindset - find the right outlook to power through your day with Morning Affirmations' encouraging quotes and inspiring affirmations.
เคยไหม? อยากเซฟใจคนอื่นจนปฏิเสธใครไม่เป็น สุดท้ายกลับกลายเป็นว่าไม่มีใครเซฟใจเราบ้างเลย พอดแคสต์ 5M ในวันนี้จะพาทุกคนไปรู้จักกับ ‘Assertiveness' จุดตรงกลางที่สร้างความสมดุลให้ความสัมพันธ์ไม่ทำร้ายเรามากเกินไป และสร้าง Boundary ให้ ‘เซฟใจ' ตัวเราเองยิ่งขึ้น . #goodtime #5minutespodcast #missiontothemoonpodcast
เคยไหม? อยากเซฟใจคนอื่นจนปฏิเสธใครไม่เป็น สุดท้ายกลับกลายเป็นว่าไม่มีใครเซฟใจเราบ้างเลย พอดแคสต์ 5M ในวันนี้จะพาทุกคนไปรู้จักกับ ‘Assertiveness' จุดตรงกลางที่สร้างความสมดุลให้ความสัมพันธ์ไม่ทำร้ายเรามากเกินไป และสร้าง Boundary ให้ ‘เซฟใจ' ตัวเราเองยิ่งขึ้น . #goodtime #5minutespodcast #missiontothemoonpodcast
เคยไหม? อยากเซฟใจคนอื่นจนปฏิเสธใครไม่เป็น สุดท้ายกลับกลายเป็นว่าไม่มีใครเซฟใจเราบ้างเลย พอดแคสต์ 5M ในวันนี้จะพาทุกคนไปรู้จักกับ ‘Assertiveness' จุดตรงกลางที่สร้างความสมดุลให้ความสัมพันธ์ไม่ทำร้ายเรามากเกินไป และสร้าง Boundary ให้ ‘เซฟใจ' ตัวเราเองยิ่งขึ้น . #goodtime #5minutespodcast #missiontothemoonpodcast
Welcome backkk to the podcast!! Today's episode is one I've been stewing on for a while lolI hope you enjoy, and don't forget to share and tag me on insta @emma.currivan xoxoCHAT TO ME ABOUT COACHING ON WHATSAPPJOIN MY PATREON HERE - just 5.99 a month hehe xTo submit a question for a Q&A episodeclick hereDon't forget to subscribe to my YouTube channel!Catch you in the next one xoChapters00:00 Introduction and Personal Reflections00:25 Emma's Life Updates and Vaping Journey02:11 The Power of 'Fuck You' Energy03:53 Understanding Reactance and Autonomy05:08 Harnessing Anger and Assertiveness07:21 Balancing Masculine and Feminine Energies09:34 Channeling Negative Emotions for Growth12:21 Defining 'Fuck You' Energy15:36 Reactance and Self-Driven Action16:54 The Activating Power of Anger18:14 The Role of Assertiveness in Success21:00 Women, Power, and Assertiveness26:37 Healthy vs. Toxic Aggression29:28 Self-Reflection and Personal Standards33:40 Pain as a Catalyst for Change36:47 Inner Battle: Old Self vs. Future Self41:27 Evolving Goals and Self-Respect43:45 Using 'Fuck You' Energy Wisely44:43 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
In this episode, Karl Bryan and Rode Dog dig into real-world strategies for building a wildly profitable coaching business, why simplicity (not shiny objects) wins big, the difference between amateurs and pros when it comes to focus and diversification, and how to use market timing as a powerful lever for sustained business success. The conversation is a candid, practical look at why overcomplicated advice and online noise distract most coaches—and what actually works for building revenue, creating standout offers, and staying semi-retired for life. Key Topics Covered Diversification vs. Focus: Myths and Realities Karl explains why top wealth is built by honing in on one business, not spreading yourself thin across side hustles. True diversification happens after success, not before. "The richest people on the planet do not diversify" in the early stages—think Zuckerberg or Gates (03:16). Profit: The Foundation of All Business Profit isn't about shiny sales or status—it's the core lever for financial freedom. Karl's "Profit, Profit, Profit" law: for coaches, doubling client profits by simple tweaks (cutting expenses, raising prices) is the fastest way to prove value, retain clients, and make your fees "free for the year" (07:26). Unique Selling Proposition (USP) and Market Dominating Position (MDP) How being "the only" instead of "the best" wins. Solve a crucial problem—like accountability for daycare parents (with live video access as an example). Karl details using memorable frames ("No Results, No Fee"; "On Time, On Budget") and the legendary Ogilvy 5-point "big idea" test (15:16). The Top 5% Success Formula Elite coaches (and entrepreneurs) are trained, not lucky—honing deep focus and becoming "installers," not "wingers" or "hiders." Assertiveness, frameworks, going all-in on your craft, and relentless accountability are keys to standing out and thriving (20:46). AI and Information Overload Why AI is a tool—not a shortcut or a replacement—for real coaching engagement. Coaches should avoid getting paralyzed by the online AI hype; instead, focus on serving real clients, not chasing the next digital distraction (28:01). Timing as Business Luck Market timing is the "hidden luck" behind billion-dollar successes (Amazon, Facebook, Nvidia) and applies even to everyday decisions like when to launch offers or start routines. Use natural life and business "starting lines" (Mondays, New Year, birthdays) for better client buy-in and results (37:01). Notable Quotes "The richest people on the planet do not diversify… Zuck wasn't doing Airbnb on the side while building Facebook." "Profit is the domino that knocks over all the other dominoes." "Work to be the only versus be the best." "You'll be remembered for what you refuse to give up on." "The second business needs to feed the first, not eat the first." "Step by step, ferociously—just stay in your lane." "Get less interested in what people think of you and more interested in how you make people feel." Actionable Takeaways Stay Laser-Focused: Build one great coaching business with high margins—don't get distracted by multiple ventures too soon. For clients: make profitability the daily drumbeat, not ego or revenue goals. Install, Don't Wing It: Develop repeatable frameworks (like Karl's Jumpstart 12 or the Big Idea/USP framework). Show prospects and clients instant value with live diagnostics and tailored recommendations. Think in Percentages: Transform your mindset: small margin tweaks (2% to 3% conversion, 20% to 30% margin) equal massive profit leaps. Use Timing Strategically: Initiate client plans or launches at natural "clean slates" for maximum buy-in (e.g., Mondays, start of the month). Ignore Noise, Deliver Results: Don't let online trends, AI panic, or influencer "ragebait" derail your daily actions. Focus on what boosts client profit and loyalty. Give Before You Get: Anchor relationships and build authority by offering help first, not just selling. Energy and Environment Matter: Be intentional about the feeling you bring into client and community spaces—optimism pays off. Resources Mentioned Profit Acceleration Software (by Karl Bryan) The Psychology of Money by Morgan Housel Deep Work (recommended reading for focus and deep skill) David Ogilvy's "Big Idea" criteria for market-dominating positions The Jumpstart 12 and the Business Operating System frameworks If you enjoyed the episode, please subscribe, share with a fellow coach, and leave a review! Ready for more? Karl Bryan sends daily strategy-packed emails at Focused.com—join the real work that's moving the needle for top business coaches. For a demo of Profit Acceleration Software™, head to https://go.focused.com/profit-acceleration
From a breakup on December 30, 1999, to commanding the room with unapologetic confidence—this episode is your invitation to rewrite the story of your power. In this episode, Jennie discusses: Breaking free from emotional and verbal abuse Redefining assertiveness and DOM power Societal conditioning and barriers to women's power Language, labels, and how women undermine their authority Guided visualization to step into personal power Key Takeaways: You can choose not to believe the limiting stories and labels others have placed on you, no matter how long you've carried them. Assertiveness rooted in respect—moving forward on purpose with others in mind—is a powerful and ethical way to lead. Societal conditioning, media narratives, beauty standards, and workplace bias all subtly push women away from their own authority and leadership. Everyday language like “I'm just…” and constant apologizing chips away at confidence and reinforces a smaller version of yourself. Embodied practices like guided visualization help you literally step into a more powerful identity and carry that energy into your life and business. "You are powerful. You are unstoppable." — Jennie Bellinger Book a Complimentary Coaching Session with Jennie: https://calendly.com/jenniebellinger/complimentary30 Connect with Jennie: Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/badassdirectsalesmastery Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/badassdirectsalesmastery/ Website: https://badassdirectsalesmastery.com/ Show: https://badassdirectsalesmastery.com/blog/ YouTube: COMING SOON! LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/badassdirectsalesmastery/ Email: jennie@badassdirectsalesmastery.com Show Notes by Podcastologist: Angelica Rayco Audio production by Turnkey Podcast Productions. You're the expert. Your podcast will prove it.
Have you ever stayed silent when you knew you should speak up - and then spent the rest of the day wondering why? In this episode, Catholic therapist Adam Cross, LMFT (#116623) explores the theology of assertiveness, unpacking why so many of us struggle to voice our needs, name our feelings, or hold our ground - and what our faith actually has to say about all of it. Drawing on the intersection of psychology and Catholic spirituality, Adam reflects on how fear of rejection and abandonment quietly drives passivity, how self-dismissal often has deep roots in our personal histories, and why the call to "Be Not Afraid" applies directly to our relationships and our inner life. He also offers practical tools - including I-statements and the invitation to healing work - for anyone who wants to grow in honest, charitable communication. Topics covered: Assertiveness as the intersection of truth and charity What we're really afraid of when we stay silent How past experiences of dismissal shape present passivity Inviting Christ into places of fear and self-silencing I-statements and speaking truth without blame Recognizing your needs as God-given Your voice matters. This episode is an invitation to believe that. Have questions? Visit my website: adamcrossmft.com Adam Cross, LMFT #116623
In last week's episode, we talked all about people pleasing. The kind where you say yes before you've even processed what was asked, and then immediately start doing mental gymnastics trying to figure out how you're going to follow through on something you didn't even want to agree to. We're getting into how to stop the automatic yes without swinging to the other extreme, how to say no without turning it into a full explanation of your entire life, and how to actually say what's on your mind in a way that's clear and still respectful. Quotes "Assertiveness is being clear, direct, and respectful. The respectful part is what differentiates assertiveness from aggressiveness." - Rachelle Heinemann "We have to become assertive while we're being anxious, and then ultimately we will feel less anxious later." - Rachelle Heinemann "Overexplaining isn't kindness, it's anxiety management." - Rachelle Heinemann " You don't overexplain, and you definitely don't hint. You don't build a case. You're not being a lawyer here. You just say what happened, what it was like for you, and what you need next time." - Rachelle Heinemann "You do not become less of a people pleaser by understanding it alone, but by also tolerating the discomfort that comes along with the new behavior of asserting yourself." - Rachelle Heinemann Resources Brave on Purpose! - Grab my new book here! Grab my Journal Prompts Here! Looking for a speaker for an upcoming event? Let's chat! Now accepting new clients! Find out if we're a good fit! LEAVE A REVIEW + help someone who may need this podcast by sharing this episode. Be sure to sign up for my weekly newsletter here! You can connect with me on Instagram @rachelleheinemann, through my website www.rachelleheinemann.com, or email me directly at rachelle@rachelleheinemann.com
Join us for an insightful episode of TBCY as Ashutosh Garg interviews Omar S Khan—renowned leadership coach, founder of 3S Catalyst Consulting, and author of Loving Assertiveness.With over 35 years of global experience, Omar shares:The critical role of communication and relationships in leadershipWhy constructive conflict fuels growth and creativityThe difference between “human practice” and “best practice”Practical tools for leading under pressureHow to practice assertiveness without aggression
Frank Isola of Sirius XM NBA Radio joins Jeff Phelps and Dan Menningen to discuss the pivotal Game 5 between the Cavaliers and Raptors, highlighting Cleveland's need for more physicality. He evaluates LeBron James' incredible longevity and examines why players like Evan Mobley need to be more assertive in the post. 01:51 - Cavs Raptors Game 5 02:41 - Frank Isola Interview 15:25 - Cleveland Sports News
Host Kim Russo sits down for an intriguing conversation with Roberta Moore, the Founder and CEO of EQ-i Coach. Roberta shares her fascinating career evolution—transitioning from the highly analytical world of accounting to founding a premier coaching firm dedicated to strengthening emotional intelligence for high-performance leaders. EQ-i Coach focuses on leaders who are technically brilliant and highly analytical but seek to lead with greater clarity, connection, and impact. Roberta discusses the vital importance of establishing boundaries and balancing the core pillars of Assertiveness, Confidence, and Empathy (ACE). Using the EQ-i 2.0 assessment—a science-based, 133-question diagnostic—Roberta helps leaders identify specific blind spots to transform their leadership style, their relationships, and their overall quality of life. Whether you are an executive referred by Human Resources to polish your interpersonal skills or a high performer who has self-identified a need for growth, this episode offers a roadmap for moving beyond technical proficiency into true leadership excellence. Ready to identify your blind spots and strengthen your leadership impact? Connect with Roberta and explore the assessment tools mentioned in this episode by visiting her website: Official Website: EQiCoach.com
On this episode of the Natasha Helfer Podcast, Natasha is joined by Mellissa Perry Hill, MS, LPC. They discuss how high-demand religions affect the "self". Mellissa Perry Hill, MS, LPC is a Licensed Professional Counselor and approved clinical supervisor based in Arizona, where she owns and operates Inner Compass Counseling & Consultation, LLC, a small group practice serving clients in Arizona and Utah through virtual and in-person care. Her work centers on supporting individuals and couples healing from religious trauma, spiritual abuse, and faith transitions, with particular experience working with those impacted by high-control religious systems, including Mormonism. Mellissa's clinical approach integrates EMDR, Internal Family Systems (IFS), DBT, and narrative therapy, with an emphasis on nervous system regulation, identity reconstruction, values-based living, and restoring internal authority after spiritual harm. Her work is shaped by both professional training and lived experience navigating faith transition and major life change. She is the author of the "Faith Transition Journal," a self-published reflective resource created to support individuals processing disaffiliation, grief, and meaning-making after leaving religion. Mellissa has developed and facilitated curricula and group experiences for local faith-transition and religious-trauma communities and regularly provides consultation, supervision, and education for clinicians working in this area. Mellissa has been a guest on numerous podcasts and professional conversations focused on religious trauma, ethical mental health care, and post-faith identity development. She also maintains an active online presence through her professional community and Instagram platform, @mellissaperrytherapy, where she offers education, reflection, and resources for both clinicians and clients. She is certified as a sex-informed professional and works with couples navigating intimacy, attachment, and relational repair after purity culture and spiritual conditioning. Quick link: Instagram @mellissaperrytherapy @shley.does.therapy (the other clinician who works with men and LDS specific issues at Inner Compass!) Facebook group: https://www.facebook.com/share/g/1CMsAzrjS6/ Clinician Newsletter: https://inner-compass-counseling.com/instagram-email-subscribers Website: www.inner-compass-counseling.com Faith Transition Journal: http://www.amazon.com/dp/b0cdz79s55/ Psych Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/mellissa-perry-hill-gilbert-az/848150 Booking for Clients: https://inner-compass.clientsecure.me/ To help keep this podcast going, please consider donating at natashahelfer.com and share this episode. To watch the video of this podcast, you can subscribe to Natasha's channel on Youtube and follow her professional Facebook page at natashahelfer LCMFT, CST-S. You can find all her cool resources at natashahelfer.com. The information shared on this program is informational and should not be considered therapy. This podcast addresses many topics around mental health and sexuality and may not be suitable for minors. Some topics may elicit a trigger or emotional response so please care for yourself accordingly. The views, thoughts and opinions expressed by our guests are their own and do not necessarily reflect the views or feelings of Natasha Helfer or the Natasha Helfer Podcast. We provide a platform for open and diverse discussions, and it is important to recognize that different perspectives may be shared. We encourage our listeners to engage in critical thinking and form their own opinions. The intro and outro music for these episodes is by Otter Creek. Thank you for listening. And remember: Symmetry is now offering Ketamine services. To find out more, go to symcounseling.com/ketamine-services. There are also several upcoming workshops. Visit natashahelfer.com or symcounseling.com to find out more.
Discover how to establish a strong foundation in your new relationship by mastering assertiveness, understanding communication dynamics, and setting clear boundaries. Learn why overexplaining signals insecurity, the power of presence over volume, and how to enforce standards without conflict.This guide explores how women test men, the strategic use of silence, and the crucial difference between comfort and attraction. We delve into intentional empathy, the importance of integrity in small decisions, and why her emotional state isn't your emergency. Ultimately, understand that your personal mission should guide the relationship, ensuring mutual respect and sustained attraction. This is essential marriage advice for men looking to build lasting connections.VIDEOS TO WATCH NEXT:Watch this playlist to figure out how to fix your failing marriage: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEXcvFDdRqPuu_G8-sTLS7eXT7myvidMFWatch this playlist to help you get over your ex for good: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEXcvFDdRqPsZ9JCTSAIkin-oMnavqNJZWatch this playlist to develop an unshakable frame and take control of your life: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLEXcvFDdRqPvgN8idHfGfOp3gA8Y0tMxT&si=NccZ6koKYz3hSuUz--------------------------------------------FREE EBOOKS➡️ She's Made You Weak: https://ebook.fixdeadbedrooms.com➡️ Fine... Here's How You Get Her Back: https://ebook.getoveryourex.us--------------------------------------------BOOKS AND WORKBOOKS➡️ Find all of my books here: https://mybook.to/comeonmanpod➡️ Find all of my workbooks here: https://mybook.to/RPWorkbooks--------------------------------------------FOLLOW MEFollow on TikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@comeonmanpodFollow on Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/comeonmanpodcast/Follow on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/comeonmanpodcastFollow on Gettr - https://gettr.com/user/comeonmanpodFollow on Truth - https://truthsocial.com/@comeonmanpod--------------------------------------------COMMUNITIES➡️ Join The W.O.L.F. Pack: https://wolf.comeonmanpod.com/➡️ Become a Spotify Channel Subscriber: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/comeonman/subscribe--------------------------------------------
Whatever your message, the manner in which you deliver it is just as important.You found the right words. You picked the right time to say them. You even tailored them to your audience. Why did your message fall flat? “It's your tone,” says Jefferson Fisher.Fisher is a trial attorney, New York Times bestselling author, podcast host, and one of the most-followed experts in communication today. From handling high-stakes communication in the courtroom to navigating everyday conversations, he says successful messaging isn't just about what you say, but how you say it. “It's not your words, it's your tone,” he says, “The words might be right, but the way you [say them] — that's what ends up controlling the day. Tone controls everything.”In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Fisher and host Matt Abrahams explore how to set the right tone in all kinds of communication. Whether you're navigating conflict, giving and receiving feedback, or just trying to connect, Fisher offers practical techniques for ensuring the manner of your communication matches what you mean.Episode Reference Links:Jefferson FisherJefferson's Book: The Next Conversation WorkbookJefferson's Podcast: The Jefferson Fisher PodcastEp.228 Negotiate Your Way to Success: Empathy, Mirroring, and Labeling Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedInChapters:(00:00) - Introduction (02:28) - Stop Winning Arguments (04:02) - Ask, Don't Persuade (04:33) - Defuse Tension Fast (05:40) - Read the Room (07:36) - Observing vs. Absorbing (09:08) - Framing Conversations (11:21) - Fix Digital Communication (13:01) - Improve Your Tone (15:53) - Break People-Pleasing (17:18) - Setting Clear Boundaries (20:54) - The Final Three Questions (23:55) - Conclusion ********Thank you to our sponsors. These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.This episode is sponsored by Grammarly. Let Grammarly take the busywork off your plate so you can focus on high-impact work. Download Grammarly for free today Join our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community and become the communicator you want to be.
Philosopher Stefan Molyneux breaks down a caller's marriage avoidance and procrastination from his alcoholic father's legacy, empowering him with honest communication and bold assertiveness to reclaim relational truth.GET FREEDOMAIN MERCH! https://shop.freedomain.com/SUBSCRIBE TO ME ON X! https://x.com/StefanMolyneuxFollow me on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@freedomain1GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND THE FULL AUDIOBOOK!https://peacefulparenting.com/Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!Subscribers get 12 HOURS on the "Truth About the French Revolution," multiple interactive multi-lingual philosophy AIs trained on thousands of hours of my material - as well as AIs for Real-Time Relationships, Bitcoin, Peaceful Parenting, and Call-In Shows!You also receive private livestreams, HUNDREDS of exclusive premium shows, early release podcasts, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!See you soon!https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/UPB2025
How to communicate for deeper connection—and greater happiness.Happiness isn't just a feeling—it's something you can actively shape through how you think, connect, and communicate.Sonja Lyubomirsky, a distinguished professor of psychology at the University of California, Riverside and co-author of How to Feel Loved: The Five Mindsets That Get You More of What Matters Most, defines happiness as two key components: “being happy in your life and being happy with your life.” And while many people separate happiness from meaning or purpose, she explains that “they almost always go together.” Her research shows how the small habits we practice—like gratitude—can have a powerful effect, helping to “neutralize negative emotions” and shift how we see our lives. In this episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Lyubomirsky and host Matt Abrahams explore the science of wellbeing and the habits that help us feel more fulfilled. From gratitude practices to breaking free from the comparison trap, they share practical strategies for boosting happiness and explain why connection isn't just about being loved, but truly “feeling loved.”Episode Reference Links:Sonja LyubomirskySonja's Book: How To Feel Loved179. Finding Positive in Negative Emotions: Communication, Happiness & Wellbeing180. Unlocking Your Future Self: Communication, Happiness & Well…181. Why Happiness is a Direction, Not a Destination: Communicat…182. Stop Chasing Time and Start Owning It: Communication, Happiness & Wellbeing Connect:Premium Signup >>>> Think Fast Talk Smart PremiumEmail Questions & Feedback >>> hello@fastersmarter.ioEpisode Transcripts >>> Think Fast Talk Smart WebsiteNewsletter Signup + English Language Learning >>> FasterSmarter.ioThink Fast Talk Smart >>> LinkedIn, Instagram, YouTubeMatt Abrahams >>> LinkedInChapters:(00:00) - Introduction (04:50) - Defining Happiness (07:02) - Gratitude in Practice (07:45) - Acting Extroverted (09:42) - The Comparison Trap (11:40) - Reflection vs. Rumination (12:27) - Best Self Exercise (13:51) - Building Positive Psychology (15:16) - Happiness Drives Success (16:44) - Relationships as a Seesaw (19:04) - Being Known vs. Impressive (21:45) - The Final Three Questions (26:18) - Conclusion ********Thank you to our sponsors. These partnerships support the ongoing production of the podcast, allowing us to bring it to you at no cost.This episode is brought to you by Babbel. Think Fast Talk Smart listeners can get started on your language learning journey today- visit Babbel.com/Thinkfast and get up to 55% off your Babbel subscription.Join our Think Fast Talk Smart Learning Community and become the communicator you want to be.
Part three of our assertiveness series, and we're breaking down the Goldilocks of it all. Walk through a scenario with me about difficult parents and boundaries that protect your HSP nervous system the way no one protected you growing up. When your inner child looks up thinking 'you just did what Dad never learned,' that's the bliss I didn't know this work would bring. Passivity is too little, aggression too much, passive-aggressive somehow both at once. No wonder we can't tell when we're being honest or dysfunctional. RESOURCES: WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1 30 DAYS TO PEACE COURSE PATREON COMMUNITY THE BOUNDARIES COURSE BOOK CLUB NARCISSIST ABUSE RECOVERY WORKSHOP THE FREE MORNING ROUTINE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER SIGNUP THE PATTERNSCAPES WELLNESS DECK BRAIN FM: CODE: emotionalbadass for 20% off your membership FOLLOW US: YouTube Instagram Facebook TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company In this enlightening episode of "Negotiate Anything," host Kwame Christian welcomes Ivna Curi to discuss the art of assertive communication in negotiations. Overcoming numerous setbacks, the duo dives deep into the core of being assertive without losing warmth, an essential skill for both personal and professional life. Ivna shares invaluable insights from her extensive experience helping professionals, with a particular focus on women, to speak up confidently and effectively. The episode is packed with actionable strategies, practical examples, and proven techniques to master assertiveness in the workplace and beyond. What will be covered: The four components of assertiveness: expressing oneself, showing respect, maintaining calmness, and being effective. Common myths about assertiveness, including perceptions of aggression and conflict. Replacing negative communication habits, such as complaining and assuming, with actionable, solution-focused approaches. Connect with Ivna Follow Ivna Curi on LinkedIn Assertive Way Institute LinkedIn page Assertive Way website Ivna's podcast: "Speak Your Mind Unapologetically." Ivna's Ted Talk Contact ANI Request A Customized Workshop For Your Company Follow Kwame Christian on LinkedIn The Ultimate Negotiation Guide Click here to buy your copy of How To Have Difficult Conversations About Race! Click here to buy your copy of Finding Confidence in Conflict: How to Negotiate Anything and Live Your Best Life!
Part two of the assertiveness series for my Highly Sensitive Tribe. We break down passive, aggressive, passive-aggressive, and assertive communication through one workplace scenario with Julie and her micromanaging boss Molly. Same situation, four completely different outcomes depending on how Julie handles it. Assertiveness isn't just nicer communication - it gathers the real data you need to figure out if this job can actually meet your needs or if it's time to move on. RESOURCES: WORK WITH NIKKI 1:1 30 DAYS TO PEACE COURSE PATREON COMMUNITY THE BOUNDARIES COURSE BOOK CLUB NARCISSIST ABUSE RECOVERY WORKSHOP THE FREE MORNING ROUTINE WEEKLY NEWSLETTER SIGNUP THE PATTERNSCAPES WELLNESS DECK BRAIN FM: CODE: emotionalbadass for 20% off your membership FOLLOW US: YouTube Instagram Facebook TikTok Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Breaking The Silence with Dr Gregory Williams Establishing Guardrails, Personal Boundaries and Digital Safety for Youth Joined later in the episode by guest, Heidi Chance, author of the book "Talk to Them: Navigating Difficult Conversations with Youth in the Digital Age." This Week's Guest will be Heidi Chance. Heidi is the author of the book "Talk to Them: Navigating Difficult Conversations with Youth in the Digital Age." She has over 27 years of distinguished law enforcement experience and is recognized as once of the nation's leading subject matter experts in sex trafficking, undercover operations and online safety. In this episode of Breaking the Silence, Dr. Gregory Williams explores the vital role of personal boundaries as "guardrails" for mental and spiritual health. The program also features veteran detective Heidi Chance, who provides expert insights on protecting children from digital predators and the rising threat of sextortion. The Philosophy of Personal Guardrails Dr. Williams introduces the concept of boundaries through the metaphor of "guardrails" on a highway. Just as physical guardrails prevent vehicles from plunging into deep ditches or hitting trees, personal boundaries serve to protect one's mental stability and "personal space" from being violated by others. He emphasizes that a lack of boundaries often invites a lack of respect, and that establishing these limits is a form of vital self-care rather than an act of selfishness. Assertiveness and the "Cattle Guard" Response To maintain these boundaries, Dr. Williams suggests being proactive rather than reactive. He compares the necessary level of assertiveness to an "electric fence" or "cattle guard"—it must have enough "voltage" or clarity to get the other person's attention and stop the intrusive behavior immediately. This includes stating expectations for the future to ensure the behavior does not repeat. He notes that the only people who typically get upset when you set boundaries are those who benefited from you having none. Protecting Children in the Digital Age Guest Heidi Chance, a law enforcement veteran with over 27 years of experience, discusses the evolving dangers children face online. Unlike the "stranger danger" of the past involving physical threats, modern predators use gaming platforms and social media apps like Snapchat to bypass parental supervision. She highlights "sextortion" as a growing epidemic, particularly targeting young boys, where predators solicit nude photos and then extort money under the threat of public exposure. Parenting and Proactive Conversations The discussion concludes with the necessity of "self-policing" for children. Chance argues that parents must have difficult conversations about digital safety as early as age 7 or 8, rather than waiting until the teenage years. By establishing personal boundaries and understanding that nothing posted online ever truly disappears, children can recognize "grooming" behaviors—such as requests for personal information or moving conversations to private apps—and report them to their parents immediately. Setting boundaries is not just a defensive measure but an essential practice for maintaining personal integrity and ensuring the safety of the next generation. Whether it is defining one's own "guardrails" or teaching a child to "self-police" their digital interactions, clear communication and proactive education remain the most effective tools against the chaos of modern life.
Today I'm joined by Michelle, who has been on a journey of saying no to passivity. Being the oldest child in the family, she has had a tendency to become more accommodating than she should. This pattern has followed her into her adulthood and developed into passivity. We talk about 3 important mindset shifts that have to happen in order to see assertiveness as the best way to take care of yourself and others. In order for relationships to be healthy, they have to be balanced! Assertiveness is an important people skill, and we talk through it on this episode of Talk To Me! Dig deeper by ordering my new book People Skills anywhere books are sold. The Debra Fileta Counselors Network: Book a counseling session at the Debra Fileta Counselors Network and get started on your healing journey from the inside out TODAY! DEBRA FILETA is a Licensed Professional Counselor, national speaker, and founder of the Debra Fileta Counselors Network. She is the bestselling author of eight books including Choosing Marriage, Are You Really OK?, RESET, and Soul Care. Debra is the host of the popular podcast and nationally syndicated radio show Talk To Me where she facilitates on-air authentic counseling-style sessions with notable pastors and leaders. You may also recognize her voice from her appearances on national television and radio, including Better Together, The Kirk Cameron Show, Focus on the Family, The 700 Club, and many others. She reaches millions of people each year with the message of mental, emotional, and relational health. Connect with her on Instagram or at DebraFileta.com.
Start your mornings with a little bit of insight and a lot of positivity. Let Morning Affirmations help empower you each day!
Want to work directly with me to close more deals? Go Here: https://www.titaniumu.comWant the Closer's Formula sales process I've used to close 2,000+ deals (FREE) Go Here: https://www.kingclosersformula.com/closeIf you're new to my channel my name is RJ Bates III. Myself and my partner Cassi DeHaas are the founders of Titanium Investments.We are nationwide virtual wholesalers and on this channel we share EVERYTHING that we do inside our business. So if you're looking to close more deals - at higher assignments - anywhere in the country… You're in the right place.Who is Titanium Investments and What Have We Accomplished?Over 10 years in the real estate investing businessClosed deals in all 50 statesOwned rentals in 12 statesFlipped houses in 11 statesClosed on over 2,000 properties125 contracts in 50 days (all live on YouTube)Back to back Closers Olympics ChampionTrained thousands of wholesalers to close more deals_________________________________With over 2,000 Videos, this is the #1 channel on YouTube for all things Virtual Wholesaling. SUBSCRIBE NOW! https://www.youtube.com/@RJBatesIII_________________________________RESOURCES FOR YOU:If you want my team and I to walk you through how to build or scale your virtual wholesaling business from A to Z, click here to learn more about Titanium University: https://www.titaniumu.com(FREE) If you want to learn how to close deals just like me, The King Closer, then download the free King Closer Formula PDF: https://www.kingclosersformula.com/close(FREE) Click here to grab our Titanium fleet free PDF & training: Our battle tested strategies and tools that we actually use… and are proven to work: https://www.kingclosersformula.com/fleetGrab the King Closer Blueprint: My Step by Step Sales Process for closing over 2,000 deals (Only $37): https://www.kingclosersformula.com/kcblueprintGrab Titanium Profits: Our exact system we use to comp and underwrite deals in only 4 minutes. (Only $99) https://www.kingclosersformula.com/titaniumprofitsSupport the show
Join Dr. Aziz live for a 3-day VIRTUAL event: Not Nice LIVE > Go here for details and tickets. Most people don't struggle to speak up because they lack communication skills. They struggle because crossing that line feels dangerous. In this episode, Dr. Aziz Gazipura explores why you may still feel stuck in passivity or half-assertiveness, even if you've spent years working on yourself. You understand the ideas. You know you “should” speak up. And yet, when the moment arrives, something pulls you back. Rather than offering scripts or techniques, Dr. Aziz focuses on the real breakdown point: the guilt and fear that surface just before honesty. He examines how indirectness becomes a form of self-protection, why “gentle” assertiveness often fails to create real change, and how unspoken rules about being good, kind, or acceptable quietly limit your life. This episode isn't about becoming aggressive or finding better words. It's about recognizing the internal code that says, “If I'm really honest, I'll lose everything,” and understanding why that belief continues to run your behavior unless it's directly confronted. If you already know a lot about assertiveness but haven't been able to live it consistently, this conversation names the threshold you may have been standing at for years—and what it actually takes to cross it. --------------------------------- Many people reach a point where they realize something important: being “nice” isn't working anymore. For years—sometimes decades—they believed that staying flexible, not rocking the boat, and avoiding discomfort was the right way to live. They told themselves they were being considerate, kind, easygoing. They avoided pressuring people, avoided conflict, avoided making anyone uncomfortable. And then slowly, quietly, the cost became undeniable. Resentment started to build. Anxiety didn't go away. Relationships felt draining or unsatisfying. Opportunities were missed. A subtle but persistent sense of frustration crept in—often accompanied by the feeling, “I'm not really being me.” So they arrive at an insight that feels like progress: I need to speak up for myself. And that insight is progress. But it's not the breakthrough. Because knowing that you should speak up does not automatically mean that you can—or that when you do, it will actually work. Why “Just Speak Up” Usually Fails Many people assume assertiveness is a simple behavioral skill. Learn the right words. Use the right tone. Say the thing. But assertiveness isn't primarily about what you say. It's about the inner stance you're coming from when you say it. This is where things break down. Often, people move from passivity into what looks like assertiveness on the surface—but internally, they're still trying not to upset anyone. They soften their message. They hint. They explain excessively. They bring things up indirectly, hoping the other person will “get it” without them having to actually claim what they want. So they say something like: “I just wanted to mention that you said you were going to do X, and then it didn't happen… but it's okay, I handled it.” Technically, they spoke up. Emotionally, they didn't. Nothing meaningful changes—and then comes the conclusion: “See? Speaking up doesn't work.” So they retreat back into silence, often with more resentment than before. The Passive → Gentle → Stuck Cycle This is one of the most common cycles I see: First, passivity. Then, a tentative attempt to speak up. Then, disappointment when nothing changes. Then, withdrawal. Over time, resentment accumulates—not just toward the other person, but toward yourself. Because deep down, you know you didn't fully say what was true. What's most painful isn't that the other person didn't change. It's that real contact never happened. You weren't fully there. The Real Barrier Isn't the Situation People usually have a long list of reasons why they can't be more direct: “It's my boss.” “It's my parent.” “It's my partner.” “That would be mean.” “That would be selfish.” “You can't say that in this situation.” These reasons feel convincing because they're emotionally charged. But they all point away from the real issue. The real issue isn't the circumstance. The real issue is that you're operating within a very narrow internal permission structure—one designed to protect you from something that feels catastrophic. What Are You Actually Afraid Of? Imagine being fully honest in a situation where you usually hold back. Not cruel. Not attacking. Just clear. Naming the pattern. Naming the impact. Naming what does and doesn't work for you. Most people feel immediate discomfort just imagining this. Tightness in the chest. A sinking feeling. An urge to pull back. That discomfort usually isn't about politeness. It's about fear and guilt. And underneath those emotions is a deeper belief: If I'm truly myself, I will lose everything. Lose love. Lose approval. Lose safety. Lose belonging. So your nervous system learned a rule long ago: Don't be too real. That rule doesn't disappear just because you intellectually understand assertiveness. The “Hidden Code” Running Your Life Everyone who struggles to speak up is running unconscious lines of code. They sound like: “If I ask for something, I'm selfish.” “If I make someone uncomfortable, I'm bad.” “If I say no, I'll hurt them.” “If I'm direct, I'll be rejected.” What's striking is that most people don't consciously agree with these beliefs. When you say them out loud, they sound extreme—even absurd. And yet, they quietly govern behavior. You don't need more confidence tips until you start identifying these rules. Because as long as they remain unexamined, they run the show. Why Avoidance Keeps the Fear Alive Avoidance feels safe in the short term. In the long term, it guarantees that the fear never resolves. Just like a phobia, the fear only weakens when you approach what you've been avoiding—in a structured, supported way. As long as you keep telling yourself, “I'll say it later,” or “It's not worth it,” or “They won't change anyway,” the old code stays intact. And life quietly shrinks. What Actually Creates Change Change doesn't come from more information. It comes from: Becoming conscious of the rules you're living by Questioning whether they're actually true Taking real interpersonal risks—consistently This isn't about being aggressive. It's about being real. And yes—at first, the right thing often feels wrong. Assertiveness can feel selfish. Honesty can feel dangerous. Boundaries can feel cruel. Those feelings are not signs you're doing something wrong. They're signs you're upgrading old code. A Simple Place to Start Instead of trying to “be more assertive,” start here: Notice one situation where you hold back. Notice what you feel when you imagine being direct. Ask yourself: What rule am I following right now? Just seeing it begins to loosen its grip. From there, real change becomes possible. Final Thought Knowing how to speak up isn't enough because the problem was never a lack of knowledge. The problem is fear of losing connection by being yourself. And the truth—one that must be experienced, not just understood—is this: You don't lose everything by being real. You lose everything by never being you. Until we speak again, have the courage to be who you are— and know, on a deep level, that you're awesome.
When someone at work shares an opinion you don't agree with, what's your response? Do you move on with an agreeable nod, or do you push back? All too often, we take the former route. So many of us are taught not to rock the boat by expressing disagreement. But here's my hot take: you can share your honest and dissenting opinion in a way that wins you major leadership points.In fact, I firmly believe that disagreeing shouldn't be as rare as it is, especially from those in leadership positions. Disagreeing without being disagreeable changes how people perceive you and can open some promising doors for both your career and your team's future. So let's embrace these three steps to highlight your critical thinking skills and earn respect:Ask this key follow-up question that directs your dissent;Embrace an accessible hack for the hard part: sharing your hot takeAnd finally, the thoughtful structure that showcases your thought leadership.Related Links:SPEAK UP: A Live Assertive Communication Course for Women in the Workplace - https://www.bossedup.org/speakupBuy Bossed Up, the book - https://www.bossedup.org/bookBossed Up Courage Community - https://www.facebook.com/groups/927776673968737/Bossed Up LinkedIn Group - https://www.linkedin.com/groups/7071888/ Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.
Group Therapy: The healthy balance of being assertive. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Student Bible Study, January 21, 2026 Teacher: Zane Powers
Dr. Mitch Abrams joins me to talk about his book, I'm Not F*cking Angry!: adjust the flame to get what you want and need. We discuss the distinction between anger and aggression, and our perceptions of aggression vs. assertiveness. Plus, some helpful insights about apologies: as the person offering one and as the person on the receiving end. You can learn more about his work and contact him through his website: https://drmitchabrams.com/Do you have comments or suggestions about a topic or guest? An idea or question about conflict management or conflict resolution? Let me know at jb@dovetailresolutions.com! And you can learn more about me and my work as a mediator and a Certified CINERGY® Conflict Coach at www.dovetailresolutions.com and https://www.linkedin.com/in/janebeddall/.Enjoy the show for free on your favorite podcast app or on the podcast website: https://craftingsolutionstoconflict.com/
Send us a textC4 Leaders – the ONLY nonprofit to utilize the pizza making process to create space for our companions to be seen, heard, and loved. We work with businesses, sports teams, hospitals, churches…anyone looking to RISE TOGETHER. We also write children's books and use the most amazing handmade, hand-tossed, sourdough pizza to bring out the best in each other. Please check out PIZZADAYS.ORG to support our important work. Season 6 Episode #1 Mitch Weisburgh is coming from Larchmont, New York (inform, inspire, & transform)You can find Mitch via his website https://www.mindshiftingwithmitch.comAbout our guest: For over four decades, Mitch has been at the intersection of education, technology, and learning transformation, helping individuals, educators, and organizations rethink how we learn, teach, and grow. Mitch is the creator of the Mind Shifting Method — a neuroscience-backed system helping high-achievers, coaches, and transformational leaders move beyond mindset alone to rewire their emotional operating systems for sustainable resilience, clarity, and self-trust. Mitch works at the root level, so resilience, creativity, and powerful leadership become automatic, not exhausting. When individuals stop fighting their own brain, growth stops feeling like survival — and starts feeling like freedom.Mitch has authored several books with his most recent release this past November - Conflict and Collaboration. A review of Mitch's book said the following – “Reading this book is like immersing yourself in a practical and deeply human guide on how to transform conflicts into opportunities for growth and collaboration. It's a work that challenges us to rethink our reactions and always seek the constructive side of human encounters and disagreements.” Mitch, thanks for sharing your many gifts with people all over the world, thanks for continuing to challenge yourself to learn, grow and teach. Thanks for being our guest on Life's Essential Ingredients – Welcome BACK to the Show!TOTD – “You must trust and believe in people or life becomes impossible. “ Anton CheckovBuild a habit - to create intention - to live your purpose!In this episode:What are your life's essential ingredients?Mindshifting Mondays with Mitch – congrats on your podcast…Assertiveness without aggressiveness is a superpower (from your book)5 styles of Conflict Resolution – Compete, Avoid, Accommodate, Collaborate, CompromiseThe 5 sage powers of being not doing – Empathy, Exploration, Innovation, Navigation, Focused Action4 ways to approach situations – Simple Issue, Chaotic Issue, Complicated Issue, Complex IssueMotivational InterviewingGoals – reaching 5 million people with resourcefulness, resilience and collaboration…Mindshifting – Stop Your Brain From Sabotaging Your Happiness and Success – congrats on your book…Books you recommend?Legacy
In this empowering episode of the Secret Life Podcast, host Brianne Davis-Gantt shines a light on the transformative power of assertiveness. Through candid discussion, Brianne demystifies assertiveness, explaining its significance in enhancing self-esteem, reducing stress, and cultivating healthier relationships. She emphasizes that being assertive is not about being aggressive or rude; rather, it's about clearly and respectfully expressing your thoughts, feelings, and needs.Brianne shares valuable insights on how to navigate conflict and set boundaries without guilt, while still honoring the feelings of others. She provides practical tips for developing assertiveness, including the importance of direct communication, maintaining confident body language, and using "I" statements to express emotions. Listeners will learn how to practice assertiveness in everyday situations, gradually building their confidence and reducing anxiety around confrontation.Join Brianne as she encourages you to embrace your voice and stand firm in your needs, reminding us that assertiveness is a vital skill that can lead to personal growth and stronger connections with others. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to break free from the constraints of passivity or aggression and step into their true power.
Tired of having the same fight on repeat? Had enough of handling conflict and arguments that don't ever seem to actually resolve anything? Well, it's time to learn how to handle conflict better!This episode is about healthy conflict without all the drama. This week on the Let's Talk About Mental Health podcast I get practical about healthy conflict resolution and direct communication so you can handle conflict effectively and focus on improving relationships that matter to you. I look at how conflict affects your relationships and how you can use simple conflict management techniques to stop avoiding relationship issues or arguing rather than resolving issues. We'll explore how to have healthy arguments that reduce conflict, improve relationships, and calm your head so you're not stuck in your own thoughts. I'll show you how handling conflict can help you build better relationships with clear, kind asks and follow-through, and I'll share practical mental health tips for dealing with confrontation so you can stay calm, be direct, and reduce conflict without the drama.
Begin your day feeling motivated and connected - with Morning Affirmations. Discover a quote and three uplifting affirmations each morning that will help you create a positive outlook for the day ahead!
On our perpetual quest for bigger, better, faster, wealthier, and stronger, we're led to believe that more is the answer – more gadgets, advanced technology, connections, resources, money, entertainment, etc. But what if there was a case to be made the answer to fulfillment is not in more but in less? My guest today, Dewyane Noel, makes that case. We talk about why less is more, how to reduce noise, chaos, and distraction in the modern world, the value of a hard day's work, what we can learn about human behavior through good horsemanship, and why good men ride good horses. SHOW HIGHLIGHTS 00:00 – Working Together as Men 04:21 – Teaching the Next Generation of Horsemen 07:49 – "He Rode Good Horses" and Life Lessons 09:16 – A Man's Epitaph and Legacy 09:59 – The Purpose Behind Becoming a Better Man 13:09 – Hitting Rock Bottom and Choosing Change 17:19 – Guarding Peace and Avoiding Old Patterns 19:53 – Living Off the Grid and Finding Rest 24:38 – Setting Boundaries and Protecting Privacy 25:39 – Why Dwayne Began Sharing His Message 27:47 – The Best Advice: Just Chill 30:55 – Needing Less vs. Always Wanting More 35:38 – Filtering Needs vs. Wants 42:23 – The Easiest Person to Lie to Is Yourself 43:10 – How a Man Learns to Like Himself 48:51 – Weakness, Horses, and Assertiveness 51:25 – Leadership, Trust, and the Alpha Role 57:24 – Teaching Responsibility Before Autonomy 01:04:10 – Redefining Manhood and Discipline 01:07:30 – Fatherhood, Boundaries, and "Toxicity" 01:12:29 – The Benevolent Alpha in Marriage 01:15:34 – Growth, Maturity, and Becoming a Better Man Battle Planners: Pick yours up today! Order Ryan's new book, The Masculinity Manifesto. For more information on the Iron Council brotherhood. Want maximum health, wealth, relationships, and abundance in your life? Sign up for our free course, 30 Days to Battle Ready
Joining me this week is Kate Rope. We're talking about how parents can raise daughters who feel strong, capable, and deeply connected to themselves, while also supporting our own mental health as parents. Together we explore: - How to parent from hope (rather than fears) and why this can help your child feel safer, more capable, and resilient. - How identifying your family's "North Star values" can guide you through tough parenting decisions. - The deceptively simple, yet powerful shift of pausing and listening before reacting. - Practical ways to nurture assertiveness, support healthy friendships, and help girls trust their inner voice. - Why our own self-care and modeling are essential to raising strong, emotionally secure kids. - How to create everyday opportunities for girls to practice autonomy, confidence, and consent. Whether you're raising a daughter or simply want to strengthen the emotional wellbeing of the kids in your care, this conversation is filled with insight, validation, and real-life strategies you can start using right away. LEARN MORE ABOUT MY GUEST:
In this empowering episode, Elaine Lin Herring shares how women can unlearn silence, reclaim their voice, and speak their mind with agency. Whether dealing with ancestral, familial, or workplace cultures, you'll understand why women self-edit, choose to be silent, and how to be heard. Elaine also helps us navigate professional settings to understanding how leaders can include those who are internal processors to make sure everyone can weigh in in a way that honors their communication style. The conversation ends with actionable strategies for women to communicate authentically, set boundaries, and lead with impact. They also discuss the importance of taking accountability when inadvertently silencing others and creating more inclusive environments. If you're ready to find your voice, express your ideas, and thrive personally and professionally, this conversation is a must-listen. Be sure to share it with your friends. RESOURCES MENTIONED JOIN MICHELE'S NEWSLETTER FOLLOW on YOUTUBEMichele's Book: Design A Life You Love: A Woman's Guide to Living a Happier and More Fulfilled Life GUEST INFORMATION Website: www.elainelinhering.com Book: Unlearning Silence: How to Speak Your Mind, Unleash Talent, and Live More FullyLinkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/elainelinhering If you enjoyed this interview, please take a moment to rate and review it on Apple Podcasts or other podcast player. *The Good Life with Michele Lamoureux podcast and content provided by Michele Lamoureux is for educational and entertainment purposes only. It does NOT constitute medical, mental health, professional, personal, or any kind of advice or serve as a substitute for such advice. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. Always consult a qualified healthcare or trusted provider for any decisions regarding your health and wellbeing.
In a world filled with tension and misunderstanding, communication has never been more important. In this episode, Brian Buffini interviews Jefferson Fisher, a trial attorney, podcast host and communications expert, who shares some of the techniques and mindset practices outlined in his new bestselling book, The Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More. Whether you're leading a team, having difficult conversations at home, or navigating high-stakes situations, Jefferson's thoughtful and practical insights will help you speak with empathy, clarity, and confidence. YOU WILL LEARN: • The framework you can use prior to having a difficult conversation, leading to your desired outcome. • How curiosity and asking questions leads to clarity and better outcomes. • Assertiveness techniques that help you feel confident and take control of stressful conversations. MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE: Buffini Coaching Live - Bold PredictionsFree business consultationThe Next Conversation: Argue Less, Talk More by Jefferson Fisher NOTEWORTHY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE: “When you get curious, when you slow down and use questions to your benefit, you're going to be one that's the people are going to go to in moments of chaos.” — Jefferson Fisher “Confidence is not something you have before a conversation. Confidence is the outcome. It's the consequence.” — Jefferson Fisher “When somebody asks you a question, take some time before you respond. Let your breath be the first word that you say.” — Jefferson Fisher "When you set out to win an argument, what's most likely to happen is you will eventually lose the relationship.” — Jefferson Fisher "If you do not set a goal, then the other person will set the goal for you. They will start to decide why you're talking to them, what you need.” — Jefferson Fisher itsagoodlife.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
If you've ever wondered how to keep toxic people out of your life or if you're questioning the role of personal boundaries in shaping your reality, this episode is for you. I share insights on why the words you choose matter, how to express your boundaries clearly, and why some relationships require you to be as steadfast as a lighthouse in a storm.
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