Podcasts about Sue Johnson

Romantic relationships are sacred, powerful, and life-giving. But I don't have to tell you how difficult it is to love and let yourself be loved.Marriage and family therapist Dr. Terry Hargrave has been helping couples in crisis restore broken relationships for decades, teaching them how to get unstuck, improve communication, and move beyond destructive coping mechanisms—to find reciprocity, self-affirming confidence, emotional regulation, and a joyful, lasting love.In a world marked by loneliness, disconnection, and emotional dysregulation, Hargrave offers powerful insights on the human need for identity, safety, and belonging—and how we can heal the wounds that keep us stuck. Drawing on decades of therapeutic experience and deep personal reflection, Hargrave explains how coping mechanisms like blame, shame, control, and escape can damage relationships—and how the peace cycle of nurture, self-valuing, balanced give-and-take, and connection can restore wholeness. He discusses his unique approach to the healing and restorative power of relationships, which lifts us up to our potential, encouraging us toward a nurturing, self-valuing, non-controlling reciprocity, and true connection.In this conversation with Terry Hargrave, we discuss:How to turn around a relationship in crisis and get off the emotional rollercoasterHow to build security and trust in order to improve or repair a marriage or long-term relationshipCoping mechanisms of blame, shame, control, and escapePractical steps to learn emotional self-regulationWhat to do when only one partner is working on a relationshipThe role of the brain and neuroplasticity in relational repairAnd the spiritual underpinnings of Terry's approach to restoration therapyEpisode Highlights"It don't mean a thing if you ain't got that swing—until you claim your belovedness for yourself, nothing will change.""Relationships are a mirror—we discover who we are through how others see us.""Blame, shame, control, and escape—nothing good comes from these coping mechanisms.""Understanding doesn't produce change. Doing produces change.""When we nurture, self-value, connect, and cooperate, unleashed joy happens.""Thriving is doing more of your best self, not learning something new."Helpful Links and ResourcesRestoration Therapy Training ResourcesThe Mindful Marriage by Ron Deal and Nan Deal (with Terry and Sharon Hargrave)Five Days to a New Self by Terry HargraveEmotionally Focused Therapy and Sue Johnson's LegacyShow NotesIntroduction to Terry Hargrave and the importance of Restoration Therapy today"We are still the same humans, but with a bigger pipe of problems and fewer emotional connections."Emotional dysregulation linked to identity and safety threatsRelationships as a mirror to the self and necessary for human thriving"For there to be a me, there has to be a thou."Why relationships are difficult: imperfection, wounding, and unmet needsHow family of origin wounds influence coping styles"Families don't mean to screw each other up, but somehow they manage to."Introduction of the four major unhealthy coping mechanisms: blame, shame, control, and escapeHow overachievement, perfectionism, and withdrawal are survival strategies from early wounding"Your greatest strength might actually be an old coping habit getting in the way of intimacy."The relational signs that coping mechanisms are damaging relationshipsHealing through self-regulation: speaking truth to yourself with love"Put your hand on your heart and remind yourself of who you really are."The difference between co-regulation and self-regulation in emotional healingRestoration Therapy's peace cycle: nurture, self-value, balance, connection"Nothing good comes from blame, shame, control, or escape."The role of practice and neuroplasticity in forming new relational habits"Doing, not just understanding, is what rewires the brain."How thriving relationships move from neediness to adventurous partnershipIntimacy as knowing yourself more fully through connection, not just need satisfactionCooperative growth and mutual flourishing as hallmarks of thrivingApplication of restoration principles to broader societal healing and reconciliation"Unleashed joy happens when we choose nurture and connection, even with adversaries."The critical role of faith in affirming belovedness and ultimate identity"Everyone else and even God can tell you you're beloved—but you have to claim it for yourself."Practical advice for knowing when to seek therapyWhere to find Restoration Therapy-trained therapistsResources for learning more: Mindful Marriage and other Restoration Therapy booksThe key takeaways that I will carry with me from this conversation are the following:You can change. Your relationship can change. But it takes a daily practice of hard work to create lasting change.And though you might fail, there is hope that you can begin again.Our coping mechanisms are not superpowers. They hurt us and the people we love.Understanding is not enough. Action and behavior has to follow for change to occur.[Any others?] It takes two to tango, but that doesn't get you off the hook from doing the work on yourself.And finally, a thriving relationship creates joy all around it, within a family, in a community, and it shows how personal relationships can change society.About Terry HargraveDr. Terry Hargrave. Until he retired recently, he was the Evelyn and Frank Freed Professor of Marriage and Family Therapy at Fuller Seminary, and a nationally recognized therapist known for his pioneering work with intergenerational families.He's most well known as the founder of Restoration Therapy, which combines advantages of Attachment Theory, Emotional Regulation, and Mindfulness—all in an efficient and organized format that allows both the therapist and client to understand old habits and destructive patterns of behavior and promote change in both individual mental and spiritual health, in order to transform our most intimate relationships.Terry has authored or co-authored over 35 professional articles and fifteen books including Restoration Therapy: Understanding and Guiding Healing in Marriage and Family Therapy and Families and Forgiveness: Healing Wounds in the Intergenerational Family.In his latest book project, he worked with his wife Sharon, also a licensed marriage and family therapist. It's called The Mindful Marriage: Create Your Best Relationship Through Understanding and Managing Yourself, and it's a practical manual co-written with Ron and Nan Deal about how they healed their relationship after almost losing it.He's presented internationally on relationship dynamics, family and marriage restoration, the complexities of intergenerational families, healing and reconciliation, and the process of aging.His work has been featured on ABC News, 20/20, Good Morning America, and CBS This Morning as well as several national magazines and newspapers.You can learn more about Terry Hargrave and his work—and find books, practical resources, and professional training materials at: restorationtherapytraining.com. About the Thrive CenterLearn more at thethrivecenter.org.Follow us on Instagram @thrivecenterFollow us on X @thrivecenterFollow us on LinkedIn @thethrivecenter About Dr. Pam KingDr. Pam King is Executive Director the Thrive Center and is Peter L. Benson Professor of Applied Developmental Science at Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy. Follow her @drpamking. About With & ForHost: Pam KingSenior Director and Producer: Jill WestbrookOperations Manager: Lauren KimSocial Media Graphic Designer: Wren JuergensenConsulting Producer: Evan RosaSpecial thanks to the team at Fuller Studio and the Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy.

Feeling disconnected in relationships is a theme that's been surfacing a lot lately in my coaching sessions, and I think it's something that many of us can relate to. In this episode, I dive into the common struggles women face in long-term partnerships, particularly the sense of not being heard or satisfied. We explore the importance of owning our part in relationship dynamics while also recognising when our emotional needs aren't being met. I share insights on how to navigate those tough conversations that can feel daunting but are essential for connection. Ultimately, we discuss the deeper emotional issues behind surface-level complaints and how reconnecting with a shared vision for the future can reignite the spark in a relationship. So, if you're feeling a bit lost or disconnected, this episode just might offer some helpful perspectives.Takeaways:Feeling disconnected in relationships is a common theme that many women experience, especially in long-term partnerships, and it's important to address this. To improve your relationship, it's crucial to understand your own emotional patterns and responsibilities without self-judgement or blame. Effective communication requires clarity about what you want to achieve from difficult conversations, focusing on positive intentions rather than complaints. Deep emotional needs often underlie surface complaints about behaviour; recognising and expressing these needs is essential for resolving relationship issues. You might also want to check out these episodes:Cracking the Code on Relationships with Dr Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy for Coupleshttps://www.crappytohappypod.com/cracking-the-code-on-relationships-with-dr-sue-johnson/The Key to Successful Relationships with Dr Ann Kelleyhttps://www.crappytohappypod.com/the-key-to-successful-relationships-with-dr-ann-kelley/Connect with CassEmail: hello@crappytohappypod.comwww.crappytohappypod.comwww.instagram.com/crappytohappypodwww.tiktok.com/@crappytohappypodSubscribe to Cass's Newsletterhttps://cassdunn.substack.comYour feedback is important!To receive a FREE subscription to Beyond Happy, the subscriber only podcast and community, please take a minute to fill in our listener survey so we can keep making the show the best it can be. Note: Updated link (this is a Google form where your email address is optional).https://forms.gle/tmmuaKgn82c8TKjZA

Welcome to the Leading Edge in Emotionally Focused Therapy, hosted by Drs. James Hawkins, Ph.D., LPC, and Ryan Rana, Ph.D., LMFT, LPC—Renowned ICEEFT Therapists, Supervisors, and Trainers. We're thrilled to have you with us. We believe this podcast, a valuable resource, will empower you to push the boundaries in your work, helping individuals and couples connect more deeply with themselves and each other. In this episode, we address resistant client presentations, emphasizing capturing moments and containing reactivity. Techniques discussed included understanding the zone of resistance, organizing reactivity within the relational frame, and the metaphor of a combination lock to illustrate the process of unlocking client resistance. We highlighted the need for therapists to be assertive and attuned to clients' emotional states. Outline Upcoming Training Events and Externships Ryan announces three core skill series training sessions in Huntington, West Virginia, from August 21 to 23, 2025, and January 15 to 17, 2026. Ryan mentions two externships: one in Indianapolis, Indiana, from July 9 to 12, 2025, and another in Northwest Arkansas from July 29 to August 1, 2025. James discusses an externship in Bend, Oregon, from October 15 to 18, 2025, and the SV Focus Lab in Northwest Arkansas from September 11 to 13, 2025. James highlights the hybrid nature of the SV Focus Lab, allowing both in-person and online attendance. Introduction to Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) Ryan shares a positive experience with the Minnesota EFT center, praising their leadership and intentionality in learning the model. James reflects on the vibrant learning environment at the Minnesota EFT center, mentioning various leaders and their contributions. To the resistant client series topic, focusing on containing space and getting in front of the resistant client dynamic. Understanding the Zone of Resistance The concept of finding the zone of resistance, where clients are stuck between hope and longing, and the importance of leaning into vulnerability. There is a need to contain reactivity within the relational frame to prevent it from taking over the session. An episode from the past (episode 64) about getting out ahead of resistance and shares a story to illustrate the point. A session where George Fowler intervenes to prevent a pursuer's reactivity from escalating, emphasizing the importance of capturing the moment. Capturing the Moment in EFT The importance of capturing the moment in EFT, noting that missing key moments can lead to more escalation. A personal anecdote about his early EFT training and the importance of creating a safe place for clients to process. The concept of "78 harm," where seeing the same harmful move in the cycle multiple times indicates a need for a treatment plan. The metaphor of a combination lock to describe the process of unlocking the client's resistance and creating a shift. Strategies for Managing Resistance A Rubric for managing resistance, including capturing the moment, unlocking the block, and repetitively mirroring the client's behavior. The importance of not overdoing the lock metaphor and the need for attunement and assertiveness in EFT. A story about a consultation with an experienced EFT therapist who was feeling demoralized due to a lack of progress with a resistant client. The importance of capturing moments and creating a mental treatment plan to address the client's resistance. The Role of Reflection in EFT The importance of reflection in EFT, using Sue Johnson's phrase, "Can I try on what I think I'm seeing?" A personal anecdote about the need for external validation to see one's reactivity. The importance of not letting reactivity take over the session and the need for therapists to step in and address it. The importance of capturing the moment and organizing reactivity within the relational frame. Addressing Resistance in Therapy The importance of addressing resistance in therapy, noting that ignoring it can lead to ineffective treatment. A story about a consultation with a therapist who was struggling with a resistant client and the importance of capturing moments. The need for therapists to be attuned to the client's resistance and to address it in a humanistic and compassionate way. The importance of not skipping over reactivity and the need to privilege it to access underlying emotions. The Importance of Clarity and Kindness The importance of clarity and kindness in therapy, noting that it is better to take the chance of a rupture to help the client see their resistance. There is a need for therapists to be assertive and to capture moments lovingly but unapologetically. A story about a consultation with a therapist who was feeling demoralized due to a lack of progress with a resistant client. The importance of capturing moments and creating a mental treatment plan to address the client's resistance. The Role of Assertiveness in EFT The importance of assertiveness in EFT, using the metaphor of a road trip to illustrate the need to address resistance. The importance of not giving up on the model and the need to work with resistance instead of avoiding it. On the importance of capturing the moment and organizing reactivity within the relational frame. The importance of addressing resistance in a humanistic and compassionate way to help clients make progress. Series Overview We are excited to announce the beginning of a new series focused on practical help when a client's nervous system becomes entrenched and cannot open to their experience, their partner's experience, or the clinical process. We want to help you with a clear frame of nuance and intentionality in this clinical experience. General Outline of How We Plan to Cover This Presentation Notice it and Asses It Accurately: Establishing Focus Get in Front of it and Contain it Realize it is Dysregulation: Track, Reflect, and Validate Spend A Whole Session of Curiosity About the Experience Show Impact and Cost- V:OUS Cost to Self, Cost to Partner(s), Cost to the Relationship Here & Now: Bring it Forward Make it Experiential: Get it Replaced. To support our mission and help us continue producing impactful content, your financial contributions via Venmo (@leftpodcast) are greatly appreciated. They play a significant role in keeping this valuable resource available and are a testament to your commitment to our cause. We aim to equip therapists with practical tools and encouragement for addressing relational distress. We're also excited to be part of the team behind Success in Vulnerability (SV)—your premier online education platform. SV offers innovative instruction to enhance your therapeutic effectiveness through exclusive modules and in-depth clinical examples.  Stay connected with us: Facebook: Follow our page @pushtheleadingedge Ryan: Follow @ryanranaprofessionaltraining on Facebook and visit his website James: Follow @dochawklpc on Facebook and Instagram, or visit his website at dochawklpc.com George Faller: Visit georgefaller.com If you like the concepts discussed on this podcast you can explore our online training program, Success in Vulnerability (SV). Thank you for being part of our community. Let's push the leading edge together!

Welcome to a special installment of the Lectern Q&A! This month's theme is Love as a Virtue and Existential Stance. This session dives into the nature of love—not just as a feeling, but as a participatory, person-making virtue that binds us to reality and each other. Joining John and Ethan is Ellie, who brings both a deeply reflective presence and insightful contributions to this exploration. Lectern Q&As are a monthly gathering where John and Ethan take questions from The Lectern's members, threading through important themes that are most pertinent and perplexing to the collective. Pre-submitted questions form the bulk of the discussion with a Live Q&A segment toward the end. These conversations are particularly important for generating knowledge that is relevant both to John and The Lectern's broader audience. To participate in these discussions live, submit questions ahead of time and gain access to previous Q&As by signing up at the Alpha Tier (and above) on The Lectern: https://lectern.teachable.com/p/lectern-lounge If you would like to donate purely out of goodwill to support John's work, please consider joining our Patreon. https://www.patreon.com/johnvervaeke The Vervaeke Foundation is committed to advancing the scientific pursuit of wisdom and creating a significant impact on the world. https://vervaekefoundation.org/ If you would like to learn and engage regularly in practices that are informed, developed, and endorsed by John and his work, visit Awaken to Meaning's calendar to explore practices that enhance your virtues and foster deeper connections with reality and relationships. https://awakentomeaning.com/join-practice/ Chapter Timestamps 00:00 Welcome and Opening Reflections on Love 02:45 Love as an Existential Stance 05:00 Love, Participatory Knowing, and Binding Identity 08:45 Eros, Philia, and Agape: The Three Movements of Love 13:00 The Person-Making Nature of Love 17:00 Love as a Doorway to the Sacred 20:30 The Transformation of Self Through Love 23:45 Somatic and Embodied Knowing of Love 28:00 Trauma, Attachment, and the Challenge of Loving Well 32:10 Secure Attachment and Love as Practice 37:40 Circling, Dialectic, and Learning to Love Wisely 40:15 The Role of Worldview in Love and Meaning 46:50 A GI, the Sacred, and What We Truly Love About Humanity 54:20 The Ecology of Religions and Participatory Pluralism 59:30 Final Reflections from John, Ethan, and Ellie Biographical Sentences John Vervaeke is a cognitive scientist, philosopher, and the creator of the YouTube series Awakening from the Meaning Crisis. His work focuses on wisdom cultivation, consciousness, and the scientific pursuit of meaning. Ethan is a co-host and facilitator of the Lectern Q&A sessions. He curates conversations that illuminate existential, psychological, and philosophical insights emerging from the community and John's teachings. Ellie is a scholar and practitioner deeply engaged in environmental science, interpersonal growth, and attachment theory. She brings a reflective, embodied perspective to the conversation on love. Ideas, People, and Works Mentioned in this Episode Søren Kierkegaard John Bowlby, Attachment Theory Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight, Attachment Theory in Practice Eric Fromm, The Art of Loving Thomas Kuhn, Paradigms and Worldview Albert Camus, The Stranger Martin Buber, I and Thou Taoism and the concept of the Dao as Mother Mahayana Buddhism, Bodhisattva path Sufism and Divine Love Socratic Knowledge and Dialogos Circling & Dialectic into Dialogos Lauren Barrett, Emotionally Focused Therapy Halcyon Guild Pluralism in religion and spiritual practice Connect with John Vervaeke Website: https://johnvervaeke.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/vervaeke_john YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@johnvervaeke Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/johnvervaeke Thank you for Listening!

APPLE | SPOTIFY In this insightful episode of Psychotherapy Central, host Jennifer Nurick interviews Dr. Clare Rosoman, clinical psychologist, international Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) trainer, and author of three powerful books on attachment and relationship healing. With over 25 years of clinical experience, Clare brings profound wisdom and practical insights into healing attachment injuries—those painful breaches of trust, betrayal, or abandonment in relationships. In this conversation, Clare and Jennifer explore: Clare's personal and professional journey into Emotionally Focused Therapy. Why vulnerability is the "magic juice" of relationship healing and attachment security. The hidden personal benefits therapists experience when working deeply with EFT. The wide-ranging impact of attachment injuries, beyond just infidelity. How attachment injuries disrupt fundamental questions of emotional safety and trust. The Attachment Injury Resolution Model—an evidence-based framework to repair relational ruptures. Why creating safety and stability is essential before healing attachment wounds. Key Resources Mentioned: Clare's Books: Repairing Attachment Injuries in Close Relationships: An Emotionally Focused Guide to Moving Beyond Betrayal An Emotionally Focused Guide to Relationship Loss: Life After Love An Emotionally Focused Workbook for Relationship Loss: Healing Heartbreak Session by Session Dr. Sue Johnson's foundational EFT book: Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson Related Episodes: Episode 43: What Avoidants Really Need (But Struggle to Ask For) Episode 40: Why We Choose Avoidant Partners: An Internal Family Systems Perspective Episode 2: Avoidant Attachment Explained Connect with Dr. Clare Rosoman: Dr. Clare Rosoman's Website Instagram: @clarerosoman Connect with Jennifer Nurick and Psychotherapy Central: Website: psychotherapycentral.health Instagram: @psychotherapy.central Facebook: Psychotherapy Central YouTube: Psychotherapy Central Explore more resources, insights, and support for secure and fulfilling relationships at Psychotherapy Central. #AttachmentInjuries #EmotionallyFocusedTherapy #EFTtherapy #RelationshipHealing #AttachmentTheory #TrustRepair #CouplesTherapy #SecureAttachment #AttachmentHealing #TherapyInsights #DrClareRosoman #PsychotherapyCentral #HealYourRelationships #AttachmentTrauma #MentalHealthPodcast #EmotionalIntimacy #RelationshipAdvice #HealingFromBetrayal

Overcoming Resentment: A Barrier to Connection and Healing   In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, hosts Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis dive into the profound impact of resentment in relationships, particularly in the context of betrayal, trust, and healing. They explore how resentment stems from unmet expectations, unresolved hurts, and past wounds, and how it influences behavior and intimacy. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn discuss the importance of self-reflection, emotional regulation, and honest communication in addressing resentment constructively. They also emphasize the role of attachment wounds in triggering resentment and how awareness of these wounds can help individuals process their emotions more effectively.   The episode concludes with practical steps for recognizing and working through resentment, including self-reflection exercises, journaling, body awareness techniques, and healthy communication strategies. The hosts also announce a special discount for accessing the Human Intimacy Conference recordings, providing an opportunity to learn from top experts in the field.   Key Resources Discussed:   1. 12-Step Support Groups (Step 10) – A daily practice for recognizing and addressing fear, anger, disappointment, and resentment.   2. Self-Reflection Questions for Processing Resentment:     - Do I find myself feeling angry, upset, or irritated toward someone?      - What specific event or experience triggered this resentment?      - What belief or core wound is attached to this resentment?      - Have I felt this way before in past relationships or childhood?      - How can I communicate my feelings in a way that fosters healing rather than blame?   3. EMDR Emotional Float-Back Technique – A guided method to trace current emotional reactions to earlier life experiences, identifying core wounds.   4. Dr. Sue Johnson's Attachment Theory – Understanding how unmet attachment needs create resentment and relational disconnection.   5. Pia Mellody's Work on Trauma & Codependency – Exploring how resentment can keep individuals stuck in a victim mindset and how to shift to an empowered stance.   6. Healthy Communication Strategies – Differentiating between blame-driven resentment and honest, healing dialogue to create deeper understanding and emotional safety.   8. Human Intimacy Conference Recordings —Access to expert-led sessions on intimacy, betrayal healing, and relational repair, available at humanintimacy.com with the discount code: HIConference50 for 50% off—Available April 1st, 2025 This episode provides valuable insights and actionable tools to help listeners acknowledge, process, and communicate their resentment in a way that fosters growth and deeper intimacy.

Nuevos ciclos, nuevos aires y la profundidad de siempre. El psicólogo Matías Muñoz presentará un autor, una idea y la bajada a tierra en nuestras familias reales. No se pierdan esta conversación sobre la autora canadiense Sue Johnson.T. 5 - Ep. 1https://www.citasderadio.com.ar/se_parte.php

In this episode, Jillian Turecki delves into relationships, the hidden relationship trap, and how negative narratives sabotage love. Jillian emphasizes the internal battle we face between positive and negative thoughts, likening our minds to battlefields. She highlights the importance of not believing every thought that crosses our minds and instead tuning into our hearts and instincts for a more fulfilling life. Key Takeaways: [00:05:20] Relationship dynamics and interpretations. [00:12:17] Relationship resistance and patterns. [00:15:14] Responsibility in toxic relationships. [00:18:04] Taking responsibility for love life. [00:22:14] Relationship patterns and personal growth. [00:29:01] Accountability in relationships. [00:30:27] Truth as medicine in relationships. [00:39:08] Making peace with unhealthy habits. [00:44:26] Relationship accountability and needs. [00:50:22] Importance of genuine appreciation. [00:52:56] Relationship positivity ratio. [00:57:12] Emotional patterns in relationships. [01:04:38] Fear driving relationship behaviors. [01:05:58] Effective communication strategies. [01:10:56] Positive intent in relationships. [01:16:36] Healing from heartbreak. For full show notes, click here! If you enjoyed this conversation, check out these other episodes: How to Make Great Relationships with Dr. Rick Hanson Dr. Sue Johnson on Navigating Romantic Relationships Cindy Stulberg on Relationships Connect with the show: Follow us on YouTube: @TheOneYouFeedPod Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify Follow us on Instagram See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

How does empathy change the dynamic of big, negative emotions? What is it about emotional intelligence that allows us to bring our best selves to relationships? What is cognitive dissonance and why is it easier to change our thinking about our behaviors than to actually change them? Tune in to this and more from therapist Stevie Hall, who leads us on this deep dive into empathy.Stevie has a PhD in psychology as well as specific training in sex therapy, sex addiction, betrayal trauma, complex trauma, attachment theory, and couples therapy (Emotion Focused Therapy by Sue Johnson).

This is a republishing of an archived episode with Dr. Sue Johnson, who sadly passed in April 2024.Dr. Sue Johnson was a leading innovator in the fields of couple therapy and adult attachment. She was the primary developer of Emotionally Focused Couples and Family Therapy (EFT), which has demonstrated its effectiveness in over 30 years of peer-reviewed clinical research. Sue was the author of numerous books including, Hold Me Tight, the Hold Me Tight Workbook, and Love Sense.Sue received numerous awards acknowledging her development of EFT, including the APA's “Family Psychologist of the Year” in 2016 and the Order of Canada in 2017.In This EpisodeDr. Sue Johnson's WebsiteThe International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT)---What's new with The Trauma Therapist Project!The Trauma 5: gold nuggets from my 700+ interviewsThe Trauma Therapist Newsletter: a monthly resource of information and inspiration dedicated to trauma therapists.Become a supporter of this podcast: https://www.spreaker.com/podcast/the-trauma-therapist--5739761/support.

Why do some people navigate the social world with such ease while others feel like they're swimming upstream? In this special episode of Being Well, Forrest is joined by four leading experts for a masterclass on the science of attachment. Featuring conversations with Dr. Sue Johnson, Dr. Rick Hanson, Julie Mennano, and Elizabeth Ferreira, this carefully curated episode gives you a map to becoming more socially confident, emotionally intelligent, and authentically connected.  Topics include: The four fundamental patterns that influence how we show up in every social interaction. Dr. Sue Johnson's guide to having deeper, more meaningful "hold me tight" conversations. Dr. Rick Hanson's approach to working with self-abandonment. Julie Mennano on working with the anxious-avoidant dance that brings so many couples to therapy. Elizabeth Ferreira's somatic and trauma-informed perspective on healing attachment wounds. Rick's Yearly Program: Rick's Foundations of Well-Being 2.0 is a year-long, science-backed journey through developing 12 key inner strengths like mindfulness, motivation, and confidence. It's currently on sale, and if you like Being Well we think you'll love it. Follow the link here and use coupon code beingwell20 for an additional 20% off: RickHanson.com/FWB You can watch this episode on YouTube. Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 3:35: Rick Hanson: How to become securely attached 31:20: Working with common attachment wounds 47:35: Sue Johnson: How to have a bonding conversation 1:09:35: Julie Mennano: The attachment mistakes that bring people to therapy, and how secure couples relate differently 1:22:25: Rick Hanson: Self-abandonment, anxious attachment, and how to build up a greater sense of self-worth and self-trust 1:40:30: Elizabeth Ferreira: Creating a secure relationship 1:56:50: Recap and outro About our Guests: Dr. Sue Johnson is a clinical psychologist, researcher, professor, and the founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a widely used and respected approach to couples therapy. She is considered one of the foremost experts in the field of attachment, and has received numerous awards for her contributions to the field of psychotherapy. Dr. Johnson is also the author of seven books, including the best-selling Hold Me Tight. Elizabeth Ferreira is an Associate Marriage and Family Therapist working in California. She specializes in somatic approaches to trauma work.  Julie Menanno a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, and Relationship Coach. She is the founder of The Secure Relationship coaching method, and maintains an instagram of the same name with over 1M followers. She is also the author of Secure Love. I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there.  Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Use promo code hanson at the link below to get an exclusive 60% off an annual plan at incogni.com/hanson. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  Get 15% off OneSkin with the code BEINGWELL at https://www.oneskin.co/ #oneskinpod  Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world's largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month! Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. Connect with the show: Subscribe on iTunes Follow Forrest on YouTube Follow us on Instagram Follow Forrest on Instagram Follow Rick on Facebook Follow Forrest on Facebook Visit Forrest's website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Susan Caso, MA, LPC, helps people find the feeling of connectedness that creates heartfelt interactions. She is the author of, The Parent-Teen Connection: How to Build Lifelong Family Relationships, endorsed by Children's Hospital Colorado and Crisis Text Line. She is a therapist and speaker with over twenty years in clinical practice. Susan helps parents, teens, couples, and families create emotional safety to build stronger relationships. As a mom of three amazing humans, she knows it's all about being connected. Susan dedicates herself to eliminating the stigma around mental health. She is a Board Member and the Mental Health Director of The Liv Project. Susan consulted as Technical and Strategic Advisor on the film My Sister Liv, created by a Grammy-Award- winning director and producer team. Susan contributed as a Board Member of Rise Against Suicide for over three years. Susan imagines new tools, models, and resources to help people engage in open-hearted conversations. Susan's work has been featured in media outlets such as Mother.ly, Wait Until 8th, and The Hollywood Reporter. Before opening Boulder Family Counseling in 2008, Susan counseled at-risk teens and adults at Catholic Charities Home-Based and Outpatient Counseling Departments and worked at a crisis and stabilization center for adolescent girls. Susan holds a Master's Degree in Counseling Psychology and Counselor Education from the University of Colorado and undergraduate degrees in Psychology and Human Development from the University of Kansas. She studied Dr. Bruce Perry's PhD. Neurosequential Model of Therapeutics and is trained in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), developed by Dr. Sue Johnson and Les Greenberg. Susan specializes in adolescent issues, relationship issues (including communication and family conflict), anxiety, depression, suicidality, and bipolar disorder. Susan helps people create more meaningful connections in an often disconnected world. Learn more at SusanCaso.com. Key Moments 06:49 Creating teen safety and connection through sessions. 07:16 Books and podcasts effectively reach audiences worldwide. 11:22 Have you always been an independent entrepreneur? 15:49 Flexible work arrangements depend on understanding bosses. 17:56 Good kid with 700 YouTube subscribers, Roblox. 20:59 Discussing life's end shouldn't be taboo. 25:08 Nostalgia for easier toddler years, challenging teenagers. 26:45 Anxiety affects self-esteem and speaking confidence. Find Susan Online https://susancaso.com https://a.co/d/fxhM0PI If you're enjoying Entrepreneur's Enigma, please give us a review on the podcast directory of your choice. We're on all of them and these reviews really help others find the show. GoodPods: https://gmwd.us/goodpods iTunes: https://gmwd.us/itunes Podchaser: https://gmwd.us/podchaser Also, if you're getting value from the show and want to buy me a coffee, go to the show notes to get the link to get me a coffee to keep me awake, while I work on bringing you more great episodes to your ears. →  https://gmwd.us/buy-me-a-coffee Follow Seth Online: Seth | Digital Marketer (@s3th.me) • Instagram: Instagram.com/s3th.me Seth Goldstein | LinkedIn: LinkedIn.com/in/sethmgoldstein Seth On Mastodon: https://socl.bz/@seth Seth's Marketing Junto Newsletter: https://MarketingJunto.com Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Today Dr. Dave Schramm interviews co-host Dr. Liz Hale on the best strategies for finding the right marriage therapist. They discuss what to look for, key questions to ask, and the importance of fit and specialized training in couples therapy. Whether you're considering marriage therapy for the first time or want to ensure you're working with the right professional, this episode provides practical advice to navigate the process effectively.   About Dr. Liz Hale Dr. Liz Hale is a passionate marriage and family therapist with over 30 years of experiencehelping couples navigate the complexities of their relationships. Whether working with thoseeager to save their marriage or couples uncertain about their future together, Dr. Liz creates asafe, supportive space to explore the best path forward. Her flexible private practice allows forextended sessions tailored to each couple's unique needs, blending joint and individualconsultations to foster open communication and effective progress. Dr. Liz’s approach is rooted in personal experience and professional expertise. She understands the challenges of marriage firsthand, viewing it as both a humbling teacher and a source of profound fulfillment. With a doctorate in Clinical Psychology and specialized training from renowned experts like Dr. John Gottman, Dr. Sue Johnson, and Dr. David Burns, she integrates research-backed methods with personalized care to help couples thrive. As a former host of KSL's The Dr. Liz Hale Show and current resident expert on Studio 5, Dr. Liz is known for her relatable, insightful advice on everything from stress to intimacy. While LDSherself, she welcomes clients of all backgrounds, incorporating their beliefs and values into acollaborative approach that strengthens their relationships. Dr. Liz is dedicated to guidingcouples toward happier, healthier marriages built on mutual respect, trust, and connection.   Inights: Liz: "Liz addressed tough topics like the financial aspects of therapy and when divorce might be necessary. To enhance her impact, she could share more personal anecdotes or client stories (anonymized) and suggest simple, actionable steps listeners can take athome. Her focus on accountability and kindness created a lasting impression." Resources: Marriage Friendly Therapist: https://www.marriagefriendlytherapists.com/ Gottman Referal Network: https://gottmanreferralnetwork.com/ American Association of Marriage & Family Therapist https://www.aamft.org/ Psychology Today https://www.psychologytoday.com/us Good Therapy https://www.goodtherapy.org/   Visit our site for FREE relationship resources and regular giveaways:  Strongermarriage.org  Podcast.stongermarriage.org  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/strongermarriage/  Facebook Marriage Group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/770019130329579  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/strongermarriagelife/    Dr. Dave Schramm:  http://drdaveschramm.com  http://drdavespeaks.com    Dr. Liz Hale:  http://www.drlizhale.com  

Exploring Parts Work in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

In this episode, we explore the challenges couples face when gaps form in their relationship—gaps in intimacy, communication, interaction, and connection. We share our personal experiences navigating these gaps and the unique complexities added by cultural differences and societal pressures. We discuss how these disconnects can strain relationships and provide practical strategies to bridge the gaps before they grow too wide.   We chat about:  How to recognize and address gaps in communication and intimacy.   The impact of differences on relationship dynamics.   Practical tools to reconnect emotionally, physically, and mentally.   The long-term consequences of unresolved gaps.   Real-life stories and actionable advice to help you strengthen your partnership.   Tune in and learn how to close the gaps in your relationship and build stronger connections. Don't miss this heartfelt and relatable conversation!   Thank you all and don't forget to check us out wherever you get your podcast fix!  Follow us ⁠⁠⁠⁠@TruthandCoffeetime⁠⁠⁠⁠  and ⁠⁠⁠⁠@DiverseLuv⁠⁠⁠⁠ on your social media platforms.  Remember - please Subscribe, Review, Like, Share & Comment - engage with us!  Keep hanging with us - we got you! Support this podcast: ⁠⁠⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/truthandcoffeetime/support⁠⁠⁠⁠ #couplegoals #relationship #bettertogether #interracialrelationships #mixedcouple #pregame #askquestions  #truthandcoffeetime  --- Support this podcast: ⁠⁠⁠https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/truthandcoffeetime/support⁠⁠⁠ In the meantime, check out a few of our resources and mentions below: The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman (https://www.5lovelanguages.com)   Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson (https://drsuejohnson.com)   National Council on Family Relations  (NCFR) (https://www.ncfr.org)  ************************** Purchase the “Giving Yourself Grace Daily” Ebook⁠⁠⁠⁠ HERE⁠⁠⁠⁠ Podcast Hosts - Brian & Denise of DiverseLuv  Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠ @DiverseLuv⁠⁠⁠⁠ Linktree:⁠⁠⁠⁠  DiverseLuv⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe to our Newsletter ⁠⁠⁠⁠Sign up here!⁠⁠⁠⁠ Check out our latest blogs⁠⁠⁠⁠Sharing our thoughts⁠⁠⁠⁠ Be the first to grab merch from our platform. ⁠⁠⁠⁠Shop at our SHOP⁠⁠⁠⁠ We would love to hear from you!Emails: ⁠⁠⁠⁠truthandcoffeetime@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠hello@diverseluv.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ Websites: ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.DiverseLuv.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠www.TruthandCoffeeTime.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ Advertising inquiries: Email us ⁠⁠⁠⁠truthandcoffeetime@gmail.com⁠⁠⁠⁠ --------------------- NOTE: I am a Brand Ambassador and affiliate for certain businesses, products and services that I believe in. I may have referenced these and included links in this video, audio, description or someplace else on this site or within these show notes. If purchases are made through any links within these show notes, we may receive a small commission. Keep hanging with us - we got you! Copyright, Liability Waiver and Disclaimers. All rights reserved. Podcast Credits: Engineering & Editing by Brigz Crawford | Instagram:⁠⁠⁠⁠ @brigzcrawford⁠⁠⁠⁠ Truth & Coffee Time Theme Song by Brigz Crawford |  Spotify: ⁠⁠⁠⁠ Brigz Crawford⁠⁠⁠⁠ Truth & Coffee Time Tag - Mink Productions Podcast Contributors: ORG5 --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/truthandcoffeetime/support

Owen Marcus started helping men because he realized he needed help with his relationships. His 30-year journey from leading men's groups led to writing a book, a documentary film on his work and starting three businesses that adapt the science behind stress and trauma therapy, attachment theory, and leadership development to train men to succeed in all their relationships. His work has been featured in Men's Health, New York Times, The Today Show, ABC News, NPR, and more. Leading therapists such as Esther Perel and Sue Johnson have endorsed this work because of the sustainable change it produces.  His passion for the work and the men it severs comes through the unique stories he has from decades of doing the work. Both men and women leave inspired and with a new frame to view men and how to help them.  3 Top Tips My ROC Formula: slow down to Relax, Open up to vulnerability, and reach out for Connection How we disconnect from our own experience or others is not our fault. Those coping mechanisms are survival strategies that have outlived their usefulness.  We have a growing epidemic of drug use, suicides, loneliness, and despair in part because men as they get older don't have real friends. We have found easy and fun ways for men to develop some of the deepest friendships of their lives. We are not therapy, addiction recovery, or suicide prevention services, but we have several men come out and say, if it wasn't for this work, they would have killed themselves. We have created a scalable way for men to help men.  Social Media http://instagram.com/meld.men https://www.linkedin.com/company/meldmenscommunity/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/owenmarcus/ https://twitter.com/meldmen https://www.facebook.com/meldmen

Unlock the secrets to nurturing emotionally resilient relationships on the High Value Man Conversation Podcast. Explore the balance between emotion and logic and the essential role of effective emotional dependency in fostering intimacy and trust with your partner. Our engaging discussion promises to equip you with practical strategies to identify and dismantle the common saboteurs that threaten your romantic connections.Dive into the concept of primal panic and its profound ties to attachment theory, as we unpack how our deep-seated fears and insecurities influence our interactions. We delve into various attachment styles—anxious, avoidant, and secure—and offer insights on recognizing and healing "raw spots" that might lead to self-sabotage. By sharing personal stories, we illustrate the impact of past experiences on current dynamics and highlight the destructive nature of "demon dialogues" like the "find the bad guy" dynamic, which can foster blame and hinder growth.We underscore the power of community and support in sustaining healthy relationships, drawing inspiration from experts like Dr. Sue Johnson and her "same team philosophy." Learn how to foster unity against external challenges and the value of surrounding yourself with a supportive network. This episode is a call to action for actively participating in your own growth journey and building deeper, more meaningful connections with those around you. Join us and become part of a dedicated community aimed at helping men grow across various life areas, such as faith, fitness, family, and finance.===> Join the weekly newsletter and get your free copy of 5 Steps to Becoming a High Value Man

Finding the Raw Spots: Understanding Emotional Triggers Once couples Identify Destructive Patterns, the next step is to dig deeper and find the raw spots Dr. Sue Johnson, in EFT, explains that many of the conflicts couples experience are not really about the issue at hand—whether it's money, chores, or spending time together—but about deeper emotional sensitivities, what she calls “raw spots.”

In this episode of We Heart Therapy, host Dr. Belle, PhD, LMFT, Certified EFT Supervisor and Therapist, sits down with EFT Supervisor Chad Imhoff "The EFT Guy" and his wife, Angela Imhoff (The Real Imhoffs), to discuss the role of relapse in addiction recovery. Specializing in addiction and using Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), Together, we discuss expert insights for therapists working with clients dealing with addictions, offering practical strategies for supporting couples and individuals. Tune in to learn more about how understanding relapse can enhance therapeutic outcomes for those struggling with addiction. Chad and Angela also share their experiences from working with couples in Arkansas and hosting their own podcast on addiction recovery.   For more information about Chad and Angela "The Real Imhoffs" visit: https://www.therealimhoffs.com https://www.successinvulnerability.com Listen to their podcast at: https://therealimhoffs.podbean.com For more information on your host, Dr. Belle, PhD, LMFT, please visit: https://DrBelle.com https://www.LasVegasMarriageCounselin... https://www.WeHeartTherapy.com https://www.snveft.com For more information on EFT Emotionally Focused Therapy pioneered by Sue Johnson, or to find an EFT Therapist in your area, please visit: https://www.iceeft.com https://www.drsuejohnson.com  

The Secrets of Successful Couples: Bid Attempts, Communication, and Emotional Connection In this episode of the “Human Intimacy Podcast”, Dr. Kevin Skinner explores the secrets of successful couples, sharing key insights from relationship researchers like Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Sue Johnson. Dr. Skinner delves into the importance of recognizing and responding to "bid attempts"—those small gestures couples make to seek connection—and highlights how couples can either turn toward, away from, or against their partner's bids, affecting the relationship's overall health. He continues by explaining that successful couples practice effective communication, managing conflict respectfully, offering emotional support, and incorporating healthy physical touch. These couples are also emotionally attuned to each other's needs, express appreciation and gratitude, and prioritize connection through small, everyday actions. Dr. Skinner encourages listeners to reflect on their own relationships, scoring themselves on their ability to turn toward bid attempts, communicate effectively, offer emotional support, and express gratitude. The episode emphasizes that these core principles, when practiced consistently, can significantly improve relationship satisfaction and help couples overcome challenges together. Resources Mentioned: https://www.humanintimacy.com/course/test-your-relationship-extra A special thanks to McKay Hatch for allowing us to share his musical talent.  

Join Dr. Belle, PhD, LMFT, Certified EFT Supervisor/Therapist, and British EFT Trainer Sarah McConnell in an in-depth discussion on the crucial Stage 3 of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) as outlined by Dr. Sue Johnson. In this video, therapists will gain valuable insights into the importance of Stage 3, where couples solidify new patterns of interaction and integrate lasting change. Learn expert strategies and tips for guiding clients through this transformative stage to help them build stronger, more secure relationships. #EFT #TherapistTraining #Stage3EFT #CouplesTherapy #DrBelle #SarahMcConnell #SueJohnson #MentalHealth #attachmenttheory For more information on ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer Sarah McConnell, please visit: The British Center for EFT: www.BEFT.org or https://conserarelationshipwellness.com For more information on your host, Dr. Belle, PhD, LMFT, please visit: https://www.DrBelle.com https://www.LasVegasMarriageCounselin... https://www.WeHeartTherapy.com Southern Nevada EFT: https://www.svneft.com

In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the books, podcasts, and resources that have most deeply affected their marriages. With a lot of great resources out there, we want to help you to be thoughtful about the resources that impact your marriage.  Scriptures:Proverbs 11:2Job 12:12Proverbs 13:20Resources Mentioned:The Glorious Pursuit, by Gary ThomasThe Meaning of Marriage, by Tim and Kathy KellerCherish, by Gary ThomasMarried Sex, by Gary Thomas and Debra FiletaThe Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John GottmanReady or Knot?, by Scott KedershaThe Ready or Knot Prayer Guide, by Scott KedershaOutdated, by Jonathan PokludaFriends, Partner, and Lovers, by Kevin ThompsonMarried Into the Family, by Dave & Ashley WillisHold Me Tight, and Created For Connection by Sue JohnsonA Lasting Promise, by Scott StanleyUs In Mind, by Ted LoweGreater Joy Twogether, by Ted CunninghamMore Than Roommates, Episode 35 – How to Identify the Four Negative Horsemen of Communication and ConflictMore Than Roommates, Episodes 53 – Friends, Partners, and Lovers in Marriage feat. Kevin ThompsonMore Than Roommates, Episode 58 – How to Thrive in a Blended Family feat. Ron DealMore Than Roommates, Episode 43 – The Not-So-Secret Guide to In-Law Relationships, feat. Dave WillisMore Than Roommates, Episode 12 – Identifying Negative Communication PatternsWebsite & Podcast - Authentic Intimacy, Juli SlatteryWebsite & Podcast - Fierce MarriageWebsite & Podcast – Family Life TodayQuestions to Discuss:1. If you were on a deserted, and could only bring 1-2 books (besides the Bible), what book(s) would you bring with you?2. What marriage book has been most helpful for you and your spouse?3. Out of all the resources mentioned, which one will you and your spouse read and/or listen to?

Welcome back for the next journey of The Family Express Podcast with Kathryn de Bruin and Ronda Evans where our destination is resilient and connected families. Today's guest is Gail Palmer, MSW, RMFT, one of the founders of EFFT. All Aboard !2:05. (Goal #2) Parental/Caregiver Intent.4:30. (Goal #1) Parent/Caregiver Buy-In. Clinician advocates for family therapy with parent involvement.6:40. Stage 1 is about helping the parent to become accessible, responsive and engaged. 10:10. (Goal #3) - Working with Parental/Caregiver Blocks). Gail and Kathryn talk about why we do the parent work in the order of parental intent first and then parental block(s).13:00. In Stage 1, we keep the focus on the parent in the parent/caregiving role.15:15. As Gail says, EFFT is family therapy and it is a child-centered therapy where everything we do with the parent is in service of the child.18:55. Gail recalls when she approached Sue Johnson with what makes EFFT different from EFCT: there is a power imbalance in the parent-child dyad and children cannot and do not hold equal responsibility for a negative interaction cycle.19:45. (Goal #4) Parent/Caregiver Accessibility (also called Openness). Once the parent block is processed, then parental accessibility can suddenly show up in session. Gail provides a concrete example of what parental accessibility and openness can sound like in the parent saying "I really want to do this different with you. I really want to listen more."20:55. Parental accessibility can suddenly show up and can suddenly get blocked again, for example, when once a child shares what has hurt them in their caregiver-child relationship, -- the caregiver can experience shame, grief, emotional pain, their own childhood attachment wounds or negative model of self.19:55. Ronda slows down the conversation here. Gail describes that when children risk and open up, then the parent can get blocked.25:15. Gail describes that there is a skill set for catching when a kid risks and opens up and the parent gets blocked. Gail describes skills of making the moment explicit and making sense of how come the block came up at this moment, and co-regulate with the parent, and we differentiate that this parent block is not about the child, and the child needs the clinician to make this transparent.29:53. Gail tells a story of her relationship with her daughter.32:15. Family resiliency is about families working through stuff together and getting comfortable with how things dynamically shift and change all the time. Thank you for listening! Kathryn de Bruin is an ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer. Kathryn and Ronda are both licensed marriage and family therapists, EFT supervisors and therapists, and AAMFT Approved Supervisors.You can follow Kathryn de BruinFacebook  YouTube  IG  Yelp  Google +  Twitter  WebsiteYou can follow Ronda EvansFacebook   Facebook   IG  LinkedIn   Website You can follow Gail PalmerWebsite:  https://banjo-triangle-m4ym.squarespace.com/

We're all marked souls, living on borrowed time. Let's not waste what time we have left. Memento Mori.

Dr. Stan Tatkin, co-founder of the PACT Institute, discusses the importance of secure functioning in relationships and the principles of mutual care and the couple bubble. He emphasizes the need for couples to create a shared vision and set of social contracts to protect and support each other. Dr. Tatkin also highlights the challenges of modern dating and the importance of building secure functioning relationships from the start. He concludes by discussing the ongoing research being conducted by the PACT Institute to provide evidence-based support for their approach. Bio: Dr. Tatkin and his wife, Tracey Boldemann-Tatkin, PhD, created the PACT Institute in 2010 to train mental health professionals to successfully integrate a psychobiological approach in their clinical practices. They appreciate his depth of understanding – of both the scientific research and the human condition – and how he integrates that wisdom to form the foundation of the comprehensive principles and methodologies he teaches. The American Association of Marriage and Family Therapists CA honored Stan with the Educator of the Year award in 2014.    Dr. Tatkin helps couples create healthy attachments and secure-functioning relationships based on fairness, justice, and sensitivity. In addition to his robust clinical practice in Calabasas, California, Dr. Tatkin and Tracey lead couples through Wired For Love Couple Retreats -- both online and in person across the United States and Europe.     Dr. Tatkin is an assistant clinical professor at the UCLA David Geffen School of Medicine, Department of Family Medicine. He is on the board of directors of Lifespan Learning Institute and serves as a founding member on Relationships First, a nonprofit organization founded by Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt. Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to Dr. Stan Tatkin and the PACT Institute 02:00 Understanding PACT and its Polytheoretical Approach 04:54 The Motivation Behind Creating a New Perspective in Couples Therapy 08:44 The Impact of John Gottman and Sue Johnson on Couples Therapy 09:42 The Role of Brain Science and Psychobiology in Couples Therapy 11:32 Applying Brain Science and Psychobiology to Communication and Conflict Resolution 13:25 The Importance of Knowledge and Psychoeducation in Couples Therapy 15:22 The Interplay Between the Brain and Couples Therapy 20:16 Revising 'Wired for Love' and the Changing Landscape of Relationships 23:14 Common Relationship Pitfalls and Mistakes to Avoid 27:38 Creating a Shared Vision and Accommodating Differences in Relationships 35:16 The Importance of Mutual Care and the Couple Bubble 44:51 Applying PACT Principles to Modern Dating and Relationships 50:14 Building Secure Functioning Relationships from the Start 52:36 Key Relationship Advice from Dr. Stan Tatkin 55:03 Ongoing Research by the PACT Institute --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/thedudetherapist/support

This episode is a two-for-one, and that's because the podcast recently hit its 10-year anniversary and passed one billion downloads. To celebrate, I've curated some of the best of the best—some of my favorites—from more than 700 episodes over the last decade. I could not be more excited. The episode features segments from episode #138 "How Seth Godin Manages His Life — Rules, Principles, and Obsessions" and episode #529 "Iconic Therapist Dr. Sue Johnson — How to Improve Sex and Crack the Code of Love."Please enjoy!Sponsors:AG1 all-in-one nutritional supplement: https://drinkag1.com/tim (1-year supply of Vitamin D (and 5 free AG1 travel packs) with your first subscription purchase.)Eight Sleep's Pod 4 Ultra sleeping solution for dynamic cooling and heating: https://eightsleep.com/tim (save $350 on the Pod 4 Ultra)LinkedIn Jobs recruitment platform with 1B+ users: https://linkedin.com/tim (post your job for free)Timestamps:Tk*For show notes and past guests on The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast.For deals from sponsors of The Tim Ferriss Show, please visit tim.blog/podcast-sponsorsSign up for Tim's email newsletter (5-Bullet Friday) at tim.blog/friday.For transcripts of episodes, go to tim.blog/transcripts.Discover Tim's books: tim.blog/books.Follow Tim:Twitter: twitter.com/tferriss Instagram: instagram.com/timferrissYouTube: youtube.com/timferrissFacebook: facebook.com/timferriss LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/timferrissPast guests on The Tim Ferriss Show include Jerry Seinfeld, Hugh Jackman, Dr. Jane Goodall, LeBron James, Kevin Hart, Doris Kearns Goodwin, Jamie Foxx, Matthew McConaughey, Esther Perel, Elizabeth Gilbert, Terry Crews, Sia, Yuval Noah Harari, Malcolm Gladwell, Madeleine Albright, Cheryl Strayed, Jim Collins, Mary Karr, Maria Popova, Sam Harris, Michael Phelps, Bob Iger, Edward Norton, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Neil Strauss, Ken Burns, Maria Sharapova, Marc Andreessen, Neil Gaiman, Neil de Grasse Tyson, Jocko Willink, Daniel Ek, Kelly Slater, Dr. Peter Attia, Seth Godin, Howard Marks, Dr. Brené Brown, Eric Schmidt, Michael Lewis, Joe Gebbia, Michael Pollan, Dr. Jordan Peterson, Vince Vaughn, Brian Koppelman, Ramit Sethi, Dax Shepard, Tony Robbins, Jim Dethmer, Dan Harris, Ray Dalio, Naval Ravikant, Vitalik Buterin, Elizabeth Lesser, Amanda Palmer, Katie Haun, Sir Richard Branson, Chuck Palahniuk, Arianna Huffington, Reid Hoffman, Bill Burr, Whitney Cummings, Rick Rubin, Dr. Vivek Murthy, Darren Aronofsky, Margaret Atwood, Mark Zuckerberg, Peter Thiel, Dr. Gabor Maté, Anne Lamott, Sarah Silverman, Dr. Andrew Huberman, and many more.See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

The million-dollar question is how do we cultivate and strengthen love—with our child or our partner? Dr. Sue Johnson, innovator in attachment and developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy has the answers. Find out why marriages fail, how to talk to your child, how to give your child a secure attachment and even hear the story of Sue losing it at her son! ABOUT HUNTER CLARKE-FIELDS: Hunter Clarke-Fields is the host Mindful Parenting Podcast (Top 0.5% podcast ), global speaker, number 1 bestselling author of “Raising Good Humans” and “Raising Good Humans Every Day,” Mindfulness Meditation teacher and creator of the Mindful Parenting Course and Teacher Training. Find more podcasts, Hunter's books, blog posts, free resources, and more at MindfulMamaMentor.com. Discover your Unique-To-You Podcast Playlist at mindfulmamamentor.com/quiz/ We love the sponsors that make this show possible! You can always find all the special deals and codes for all our current sponsors on our website: /mindfulmamamentor.com/mindful-mama-podcast-sponsors/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

It is with profound sadness that we announce the passing of Dr. Sue Johnson on April 23, 2024. In this very special tribute episode, we hear from Sue in her own words about her childhood and professional legacy. Sue was also a cherished friend whose warmth and wisdom profoundly touched all who knew her. Two of those friends and leaders in the EFT Movement, Gail Palmer & Jim Furrow, join Eli to share their memories and emotional last conversations with their mentor.

Dr Sue Johnson is the developer of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and a pioneer in adult attachment and couples therapy. With over 30 years of peer reviewed clinical research demonstrating its effectiveness, Dr Johnson has received several awards for her contribution to the development of EFT, including the Order of Canada and the Family Psychologist of the Year from the American Psychological Association. She is the best selling author of several books, including “Hold Me Tight”, which has sold over one million copies worldwide and helped countless couples improve their relationships. You can learn more about Dr Johnson's pioneering work by visiting: https://drsuejohnson.com and EFT training at https://iceeft.com. --- Dr. Sue Johnson is a leading innovator in the fields of couple therapy and adult attachment. She is the primary developer of Emotionally Focused Couples and Family Therapy (EFT), which has demonstrated its effectiveness in over 30 years of peer-reviewed clinical research. Sue's received numerous awards acknowledging her development of EFT, including the APA's “Family Psychologist of the Year” in 2016 and the Order of Canada in 2017. Her best-selling 2008 book Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love has taught countless couples how to enhance and repair their love relationships. It remains one of the best-selling relationship help books on the market today. It has since been adapted into a workshop format. Sue's 2014 book, Love Sense: The Revolutionary New Science in Romantic Relationships, outlines the latest understanding of why and how we love, based on scientific evidence and cutting-edge research. You can learn more about Dr Johnson's pioneering work by visiting: https://drsuejohnson.com and EFT training at https://iceeft.com. --- 3 Books Dr Johnson Recommends Every Therapist Should Read: Attachment in Adulthood, First Edition: Structure, Dynamics, and Change - https://amzn.to/42xt6LU A Secure Base - https://amzn.to/497ax3W Hold Me Tight: Your Guide to the Most Successful Approach to Building Loving Relationships - https://amzn.to/4bwCJ1C Interview Links: — Dr Johnson's website - http://drsuejohnson.com — EFT training - https://iceeft.com

Marriage is already hard, but add in parenting children with significant needs and blocked care, and staying married may seem impossible. In this episode, Lisa and Melissa answer two listener questions about marriage and blocked care with personal stories and practical tips. If you're not married, you'll still find insights you can apply to your close relationships with folks who love your family. Click here to download a transcript for this episode. Relevant Links FREE Blocked Care Assessment Dr. Sue Johnson (Emotionally Focused Therapy) Books by Dr. Sue Johnson* * this is an affiliate link

In this special episode, we pay tribute to the late Dr. Sue Johnson, a beloved relational teacher, therapist, author, and the pioneering innovator behind Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Her work has been instrumental in shaping my understanding of relationships and I recently had the privilege of hosting her on the podcast. To honor Dr. Sue and her significant contributions to relationship therapy and education, we've put together some of the most impactful moments from that episode. I am profoundly grateful for Dr. Sue's work and her lasting influence. Thank you for the gift of your voice, your presence, and your loving heart in this life, Dr. Sue. You are deeply missed. —Dr. Sue's Full Episode: https://markgroves.com/episode/unlocking-the-world-of-attachment-emotional-isolation-and-eft —Dr. Sue's Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsuejohnson/  —Dr. Sue's Website: https://drsuejohnson.com/ —Dr. Sue's Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drsuejohnson/ —Dr. Sue's Twitter: https://twitter.com/Dr_SueJohnson —Dr. Sue's YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/DoctorSueJohnson?themeRefresh=1  —Dr. Sue's Website for International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT): www.iceeft.com — Dr. Sue's Books: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/  If you want to dive deeper into Mark's content, search through every episode, find specific topics we've covered, and ask him questions, go to his Dexa page: https://dexa.ai/markgroves Themes: Authenticity, Belonging, Relationships, Boundaries, Self-Worth, Self-Love, Health, Codependency, Attachment Theory, Transformation, Conflict, Mental Health, Grief, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Emotions, Honoring Dr. Sue Johnson, Dr. Sue Johnson, Legacy Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This episode is dedicated to Dr. Sue Johnson, the founder of EFT and a beloved mentor, teacher and friend. We remember her legacy and devotion to helping couples love better. George and Laurie have been heavily influenced by Sue's contributions to the field of couple therapy, moving treatment from a predominant focus on behavioral change to creating healthy attachments and secure, loving bonds. Join us today, to connect over this profound loss and to hear the stories and memories we have with Dr. Sue Johnson. You won't want to miss out on what she thought about George's driving skills! Thank you Sue for your incredible work in this field and for the influence, information, education and love you shared. You will be missed greatly! EFT Therapists! Laurie is coming to Chicago this month! Come join her! Please visit our great sponsors: Addyi.com -- an FDA-approved drug for certain per-menapausal women with low libido. Uberlube.com -- Laurie's favorite lubricant for the past 25 years! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Sue Johnson is the founder and leading authority on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a type of therapy that helps individuals, couples and families improve their relationships by understanding and managing their emotions. She has written dozens of books on the topic, including the bestsellers “Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love,” “Attachment Theory in Practice,” and “A Primer for Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy.” Dr. Johnson is also the founder of ICEEFT and has received numerous awards and recognitions for her contributions to the field of psychology, including the Order of Canada, The Psychotherapy Networker Lifetime Achievement Award, and the American Psychological Association's Award for Distinguished Professional Contributions to Applied Research. See Dr. Sue Johnson's public website at www.drsuejohnson.com

Healing Attachment Trauma Caused by Sexual Behaviors: Insights from Dr. Skinner's Discuss with Dr. Sue Johnson In 2016, I had the privilege of interviewing renowned relationship expert Dr. Sue Johnson. In this special interview, Dr. Johnson discussed how pornography and other sexual behaviors alter our attachment bonds.  The content of this interview is timeless, as the principles discussed will never cease to enlighten our understanding of healthy human relationships. This interview is especially poignant today, as we remember the profound impact Dr. Sue Johnson had on therapy. Her passing on April 23rd, 2024, marked the end of an era, but her brilliant mind and insight into the attachment model will continue to guide us for generations to come.   Dr. Johnson graciously gave her time for this podcast because she believed in helping individuals and couples heal from problems created by pornography use and other unwanted sexual behaviors.  Resources Discussed: Bloom for Women Human Intimacy

This episode is dedicated to the incredible life of Dr. Sue Johnson. In this interview from nearly 5 years ago, Shane talks with Dr. Sue Johnson, the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Hear how she came up with EFT, the patterns she noticed in her clients, how emotion organizes your inner world, the impact of working with someone in EFT, and the qualities of a good EFT therapist. Learn more about the life of Dr. Sue Johnson at https://drsuejohnson.com/in-remembrance-of-dr-sue-johnson/

Dr. Sue Johnson is the founder and leading authority on Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), a type of therapy that helps individuals, couples and families improve their relationships by understanding and managing their emotions. She has written dozens of books on the topic, including the bestsellers “Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love”, “Attachment Theory in Practice” and “A Primer for Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy”. Dr. Johnson is also the founder of ICEEFT and has received numerous awards and recognitions for her contributions to the field of psychology, including the Order of Canada, The Psychotherapy Networker Lifetime Achievement Award, and the American Psychological Association's Award for Distinguished Professional Contributions to Applied Research. See Dr. Sue Johnson's public website at www.drsuejohnson.com

Dr. Sue Johnson explains how Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy evokes, contains, and uses emotion in specific empirically-supported ways to help individual clients grow and thrive. Interview with Elizabeth 'Beth' Irias. Disclaimer: Please note that this episode discusses self-harming behaviors, suicide, abuse, and other traumatic experiences, including discussion of redacted case examples. For more information about the free CE credit associated with this podcast interview, please visit us at https://courses.clearlyclinical.com/pages/free-ceu-courses. Learn, grow, and shine with Clearly Clinical Continuing Ed. To watch the entire interview with audio and video, please visit https://youtu.be/UmNaikOnTw8.

Unlock the transformative potential of Ketamine Assisted Psychotherapy (KAP) using EFT, Emotionally Focused Therapy, pioneered by Dr. Sue Johnson, by diving into our comprehensive guide on training as a therapist in this groundbreaking approach. In this video, we'll delve into the invaluable benefits of mastering KAP techniques, from expanding your therapeutic toolkit to addressing treatment-resistant mental health conditions with efficacy and compassion. Discover how specialized training in KAP EFT Therapy empowers EFT therapists to facilitate profound healing and growth for their clients, while also enhancing their professional expertise and marketability in the rapidly evolving landscape of mental healthcare. Join us as we explore the unique advantages and opportunities awaiting those embarking on this rewarding journey toward becoming proficient KAP practitioners. Join We Heart Therapy host Dr. Belle, PhD, LMFT, Certified EFT Supervisor/Therapist and ICEEFT Certified EFT Trainer Kathryn Rheem, EdD, from the Washington Baltimore Center for EFT, and Kathryn's co-host of The EFT Cafè, Jennifer Olden, LMFT, as they explore Ketamine Assisted EFT Therapy.   For more information on EFT, visit: https://www.ICEEFT.com https://drsuejohnson.com For more information on Kathryn Rheem, and Jennifer Olden, and to get trained, visit: https://www.ncceft.com https://theeftcafe.com For more information on your host, please visit: https://www.drbelle.com https://www.lasvegasmarriagecounselin... https://www.wehearttherapy.com https://www.snveft.com

Learn more about the Couples Therapy 101 course: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/ Learn more about the Couples Therapist Inner Circle: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/inner-circle-new In this episode, Shane talks with Leanne Campbell about all things Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) and trauma. Leanne is a Speaker, Writer, and EFT Trainer who co-authored the book “A Primer for Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy (EFIT)” with Sue Johnson. Hear the benefits of EFT, why isolation is traumatizing, how to gather information before diving into experiences, the CARE model to focus on in initial sessions, and how to be careful when working with trauma. To learn more about Leanne and check out her books, visit DrLeanneCampbell.com Check out Leanne's books at DrLeanneCampbell.com Check out Leanne's previous episode on The Couples Therapist Couch: https://www.couplestherapistcouch.com/blog/079-eft-and-attachment-injuries-with-leanne-campbell-and-david-fairweather

In this episode, I welcome Dr. Sue Johnson, a pioneering figure in couples therapy and adult attachment, renowned for her role in developing Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). Together, we explore the profound impact of relationships and attachment in the human experience. Dr. Sue discusses the role of emotions in therapy, emphasizing the significance of understanding and validating emotions to establish secure attachments. Throughout the episode, she shares insights on how she's helped her clients navigate challenging emotions for authentic change through EFT. Dr. Sue also dives into topics such as the transformative power of emotional epiphanies, the creation of safe spaces in therapy, the societal shift towards digital connections, and the importance of understanding attachment needs in the digital age. Join us in this impactful conversation to explore the pursuit of authentic, face-to-face connections and their fundamental role in enhancing your emotional well-being. Dr. Sue Johnson has received numerous awards including Psychotherapy Networker's Lifetime Achievement Award, the APA's Family Psychologist of the Year, and the Order of Canada. Her best-selling book Hold Me Tight (2008) has sold over one million copies and was developed into a relationship education program. As founding director of the International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT), Dr. Sue trains counselors in EFT worldwide, providing guidance to over 90 affiliated organizations. —Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drsuejohnson/ —Website: https://drsuejohnson.com/ —Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/drsuejohnson/ —Twitter: https://twitter.com/Dr_SueJohnson —YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/user/DoctorSueJohnson?themeRefresh=1 —Website: International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT) www.iceeft.com —Books: https://drsuejohnson.com/books/ If you want to dive deeper into Mark's content, search through every episode, find specific topics we've covered, and ask him questions, go to his Dexa page: https://dexa.ai/markgroves Themes: Authenticity, Belonging, Breakups, Relationships, Boundaries, Self-Worth, Self-Love, Health, Codependency, Infidelity, Dating, Attachment Theory, Transformation, Conflict, Mental Health, Grief, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Emotions This episode is sponsored by Organifi: Use code CREATETHELOVE for 20% off sitewide at http://www.organifi.com/createthelove Contact us at podcast@markgroves.com for sponsor product support, questions, comments, or just to say hello! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Listen in as we explore the essence of secure attachment, discussing how it transcends mere communication skills and reduces defensiveness during conflicts. Our dialogue also touches on the societal pressures that shape men's fear of failure and women's fear of isolation, illuminating the strength that comes from sharing our innermost fears and embracing the universality of our emotional needs. With perspectives from tech leaders to Gandhi, we question the cost of our dependence on technology and stress the importance of prioritizing human connections to nurture the very fabric of our society. While our time is limited, the insights gained from our discussion are vast, offering listeners a path to deeper self-discovery and the assertion of personal beliefs and values. Join us as we navigate these complex yet essential facets of our lives, fostering environments that promote self-trust and validation. Buy Sue's book Hold Me Tight. Visit Sue's website. Follow her on Instagram, and YouTube. Join my weekly newsletter. Learn more about my books and courses. Join The Essentialism Academy. Follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram, X, Facebook, and YouTube. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Join us as we unravel the mysteries of love and attachment with the extraordinary Dr. Sue Johnson, a beacon in the field of psychology and the architect of Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT). In our enlightening conversation, Dr. Johnson shares her insights on the crucial role of emotional connections and secure attachments for our well-being, taking us on a journey through the pivotal ideas of Dr. John Bowlby and the evolution of the science of love. Dr. Johnson's work shines a light on the misconception that attachment is a weakness, revealing it as the essence of our strength and resilience. We tackle the often misunderstood nature of relationship conflicts, revealing that the heart of many disputes is not the disagreement itself but the underlying emotional disconnection between partners. This episode promises to offer profound insights into how we can enhance our personal health, fortify our relationships, and embrace the untapped potential within our most cherished connections. Buy Sue's book Hold Me Tight. Visit Sue's website. Follow her on Instagram, and YouTube. Join my weekly newsletter. Learn more about my books and courses. Join The Essentialism Academy. Follow me on LinkedIn, Instagram, X, Facebook, and YouTube. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Navigating the challenging waters of divorce or betrayal within a relationship can be an incredibly tough journey. It's a time when seeking support becomes crucial, and for many, individual or couples therapy becomes a lifeline. However, the impact of a couple's distress extends far beyond the partners involved. They often overlook how their struggles reverberate throughout the entire family. In this episode, we dive into the critical importance of considering therapy for the entire family system. This episode offers strategies for gaining a deeper understanding of how family members at various developmental stages are affected, and how to create a safe space for open communication and emotional support within the family, prioritizing the children's development amidst distress. Kathryn de Bruin is a Marriage and Family Therapist, Certified Emotional Focused Therapy Trainer and Supervisor, and Registered Play Therapist Supervisor.  She has a full-time private practice in San Diego, CA where she works with children and families.  Kathryn teaches Play Therapy at the University of California, San Diego, in the Play Therapy Program. She is a Director for the San Diego Center for EFT, and serves various EFT communities. Lisa Palmer-Olsen, Psy.D. is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in San Diego California. She is a Certified EFT Therapist, Trainer, and Supervisor, and is a Founder and one of the Directors of the Emotionally Focused Couples Training and Research Institute at Alliant International University. Lisa completed her dissertation research on how to train and teach Emotionally Focused Couples therapy to professionals. Dr. Sue Johnson, the founder of EFT and Dr. Scott Woolley were part of her dissertation committee. Check out the transcript of this episode on Dr. Jessica Higgin's website. In this episode 5:02 Lisa and Kathryn's journey into supporting couples and families. 10:00 The importance of considering the broader impact within the family system. 15:20 The growing trend of parents seeking comprehensive support. 19:40 Creating new pathways for family connection. 28:04 Creating space for dialogue within the family and seeking community resources to combat isolation. 46:43 Redefining conflict resolution in family law: The role of attachment-based mediation. 48:54 Valuable resources for individuals navigating family therapy and seeking emotional support. Mentioned Emotionally Focused Family Therapy: Restoring Connection and Promoting Resilience (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World (book) The Good Divorce (*Amazon Affiliate link) (book) Constance Ahrons, Ph.D. EFT Therapist Search ERP 175: How to Heal from an Affair – An Interview with Scott Woolley Connect with Kathryn de Bruin & Dr. Lisa Palmer-Olsen Websites: renovasandiego.com | kathryndebruin.com Podcast: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-family-express Connect with Dr. Jessica Higgins Facebook: facebook.com/EmpoweredRelationship  Instagram: instagram.com/drjessicahiggins  Podcast: drjessicahiggins.com/podcasts/ Pinterest: pinterest.com/EmpowerRelation  LinkedIn: linkedin.com/in/drjessicahiggins  Twitter: @DrJessHiggins  Website: drjessicahiggins.com   Email: jessica@drjessicahiggins.com If you have a topic you would like me to discuss, please contact me by clicking on the “Ask Dr. Jessica Higgins” button here.  Thank you so much for your interest in improving your relationship.  Also, I would so appreciate your honest rating and review. Please leave a review by clicking here.  Thank you!   *With Amazon Affiliate Links, I may earn a few cents from Amazon, if you purchase the book from this link.  

In this episode I got the honor to speak to one of my relational and attachment heroes Dr. Sue Johnson about everything we all want to know about how to stay connected to our partners.

“Our society doesn't want to hear about how interdependent we are—doesn't want to hear that if we want to thrive, we have to put people first and we have to create community. And people need connection with others like they need oxygen. If you create a world where that connection isn't very available or it all happens on a screen, you are going to have huge problems. You are going to have huge problems with depression, anxiety, suicide, emptiness—people are going to make terrible choices.” (Sue Johnson)We need each other. We are relational beings, and our thriving—or languishing—often hinges on relationships. In this episode, psychologists Sue Johnson and Jim Furrow not only explain why relationships are so important, they offer practical advice on how to pursue healing, emotional regulation, and lasting thriving in all kinds of relationships.Sue Johnson is the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy, the gold standard in tested, proven interventions of couples and author of many books including Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Jim Furrow is a marriage and family therapist and an internationally renowned trainer of Emotionally Focused Therapy.This conversation goes from profound to practical, covering the biological and psychological science to explain why belonging gives way to becoming. We discuss the rampant emptiness and loneliness, fear, and depression people today experience and the connection between relationships and a sense of meaning in life. Sue and Jim also provide a framework for how to understand your attachment style and the way it impacts your relational health. And they discuss the practical ways we can grow and change so that we can engage in and sustain fulfilling and life giving relationships.In this conversation with Sue Johnson & Jim Furrow, we discuss:What it means to be fully alive, in all the existential fullness that being human meansHow to bring together the spectrum of emotional realities with our lived experienceThe crisis of loneliness we face today, and what we can do about itThe role of empathy and caring in the healing processAn introduction to attachment science, the role of attachment figures in thriving relationshipsAnd the therapeutic and relational practices that lead to security, a sense of worth, empowerment, and competence in life.About Sue Johnson & Jim FurrowSue Johnson is the creator of Emotionally Focused Therapy and author of many books including Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Jim Furrow is a marriage and family therapist and an internationally renowned trainer of Emotionally Focused Therapy.Show NotesLearn more about Emotionally Focused Therapy (including ways to find a therapist)Sue Johnson's book, Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of LoveWe're made for relationships.“We need to understand how crucial relationships are for us. They are oxygen. We need to help people value them and learn how to have them.”“If we're not willing to risk and we're not willing to reach, we're not going to necessarily be found.”“You can't be a self or by yourself. I think that says it all. That's the most basic human interaction. Do you share my reality? Is my reality valid? Do you see what I see? Can you make sense of it? Can you help me make sense of it? Is what I'm feeling making sense? Can you share it? Am I alone? I mean, this is the most basic human contact of all.”The purpose of our being and our means to becoming.Episode SummaryPam King welcomes Sue Johnson and Jim Furrow.What is thriving meant to you?“Full existential living… fully alive.”Carl Rogers“Trust yourself to go through life in an active way.”“Fulsome being… not only who I am, but who I'm with.”Purpose, meaning, and connectionTherapy is not only about reducing thriving to the treatment of symptoms.Coherence vs Binary Thinking: “How does all of this cohere in a new way of making sense?”Mother and Child: Explaining reality and needing other people to do soUnexpected, unknown, and fearAttachment figuresFullness vs. EmptinessThe relational isn't just a means to an end. It's our purpose.Sue's relationship with her father: “He was an amazing attachment figure.”“I'm an ardent feminist.”Understanding attachment through loss and griefSue Johnson on working with trauma survivorsJohn Bowlby: “You do unto yourself as you've been done to.”“Just to have some sort of sense of who you are, coherent sense of self, you need the recognition from another person. Yes, you matter. Yes, you're important. Yes, you have meaning. Yes, I see you. … to not feel seen, to not feel like you matter to anybody is, it's excruciating for human beings.”“One safe relationship with a loving other. seems to protect us and create resilience.”Jim's loss of his father: “I know he's going through a difficult time, but I believe in him and I know he will make it.”The power of attachmentFully oneself, fully connected with anotherAttachment to God: foundation, protector, shield, transcendentSpirituality and experience of attachment through the beauty and transcendence of nature“My life is part of this beauty.”Animate, invigorate, create.“Your worth comes from your connection to others.”“But no, we're not enough. But I think our society doesn't want to hear that. It doesn't want to hear about how interdependent we are. Doesn't want to hear that if we want to thrive, we have to put people first and we have to create community.”Interdependence and affective dependenceHow to forge relational bonds.Attention“Love and bonding is about attention and if you don't give attention to the other person in your relationship, which means if you don't take the time, make it important enough and focus down and spend time, then whatever connection you have naturally erodes.”ARE—Accessible, Responsive, and Engaged“It's more than date night… it's about engaging with the other person.”“Loneliness and depression are going to be the main problems for the next century.”Relationship-driven church communities“One of the things that is a heartbeat in our work in emotionally focused therapy is calling individuals into opportunities to share vulnerably with one another.”John Cacioppo (loneliness researcher): we have changed deep relationships from an essential to an incidental.Vulnerability and lonelinessDepressed or heartbroken?The impact of smartphone technology on relationshipsEmpathy and caring in the healing process“When the vulnerability becomes specific and makes sense and is accepted, then people have words for it, they can tolerate it, and they start to be able to share it. And when they do that, they pull their partner towards them. They evoke empathy and caring. That's the only solution to human emotional pain that there really exists—s the empathy and caring of another. That is true in religion too. It's the empathy and caring of a God figure. That's about bonding. It's about sharing vulnerability.”“No one goes through vulnerability alone.”Belonging leads to becomingPam King's key takeaways:Being fully alive means finding coherence and connection with others. finding meaning in human and spiritual relationships.Relational bonding is built in to our genetic code. We're built for connection and made for relationships and we have to work at it.Relationships are powerful. They are capable of bringing sorrow and joy. To the extent that they're able to break us down, they're even more able to build us back up and bring us to healing.Longing for relationships is natural and normal. While loneliness can be so frightening, it does not need to be stigmatized. But it does need to be worked through.Often healing comes through the very wounds we're hurting with. We heal when we open up in vulnerability, when we seek transcendence and connection with others, and ultimately with a loving and caring God About the Thrive CenterLearn more at thethrivecenter.org.Follow us on Instagram @thrivecenterFollow us on X @thrivecenterFollow us on LinkedIn @thethrivecenter About Dr. Pam KingDr. Pam King is Executive Director the Thrive Center and is Peter L. Benson Professor of Applied Developmental Science at Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy. Follow her @drpamking. About With & ForHost: Pam KingSenior Director and Producer: Jill WestbrookOperations Manager: Lauren KimSocial Media Graphic Designer: Wren JuergensenConsulting Producer: Evan RosaSpecial thanks to the team at Fuller Studio and the Fuller School of Psychology & Marriage and Family Therapy.

Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of The Emotionally Focused Therapies joins us for a fascinating conversation. From the development of EFIT to her own therapy, Sue brings a lively authenticity to every story she shares in this episode. 

Dr. Sue Johnson is a leading innovator in the fields of couple therapy and adult attachment. She is the primary developer of Emotionally Focused Couples and Family Therapy (EFT), which has demonstrated its effectiveness in over 30 years of peer-reviewed clinical research. Sue is the author of numerous books including, Hold Me Tight, the Hold Me Tight Workbook, and Love Sense.Sue's received numerous awards acknowledging her development of EFT, including the APA's “Family Psychologist of the Year” in 2016 and the Order of Canada in 2017.In This EpisodeDr. Sue Johnson's WebsiteThe International Centre for Excellence in Emotionally Focused Therapy (ICEEFT)---What's new with The Trauma Therapist Project!The Trauma 5: gold nuggets from my 700+ interviewsThe Trauma Therapist Newsletter: a monthly resource of information and inspiration dedicated to trauma therapists.This show is part of the Spreaker Prime Network, if you are interested in advertising on this podcast, contact us at https://www.spreaker.com/show/5739761/advertisement

From the heart-wrenching tale of Sue Johnson, a retired Army veteran and an adoptee from Vietnam, to the candid accounts of veterans grappling with PTSD, this episode is a tapestry of stories that explores the power of forgiveness, the journey of self-discovery, and the resilience of the human spirit. Sue's riveting story offers an insightful glimpse into the essence of identity and the significance of giving back. The episode further unravels narratives of veterans, their battles with their past, and how supporting each other provides a unique therapeutic comfort. The episode later takes you along the Camino de Santiago, a path of reflection and healing that mirrors the veterans' journey towards inner peace. Through the lens of this 713-kilometer trek, we explore the importance of solitude, self-analysis, and the courage it takes to lay down one's burdens. There's a deep dive into the world of a chef-volunteer at Team Rubicon, a disaster relief organization, and the sense of fulfillment derived from serving others. The episode's third act focuses on mental health of veterans. Here, we tackle the unique struggles female veterans face in a predominantly male environment, as Sue returns to shine a light on these challenges. We contemplate the hidden indicators of a veteran's cry for help, the essential role of therapy in untying past traumas and the significance of addressing childhood experiences in therapy. Concluding the episode on a hopeful note, we highlight the power of awareness, the importance of taking small steps towards positive change, and the impact of creating a ripple effect of change in the world. Contact Thad - VictoriousVeteranProject@Gmail.comThanks for listening!

In today's episode of the podcast, I interview Dr. Sue Johnson, founder of Emotionally Focused Therapy, an intervention for relationships aimed at resolving distress by helping clients become attuned within a secure attachment bond. She has also written countless books and articles, a personal favorite being Hold Me Tight. She was the first person to teach me about the still face experiment in 2013. I, myself, have had the personal benefit of being in EFT with my wife for the past year. I remember watching a video of Sue doing therapy, and I thought, there is some sort of symphony happening here, and I really want to learn how to play the notes. I wanted this session to pull out as many practical pearls as possible from Dr. Johnson, more of the “how” of the process of helping people reconnect.

Dr. Sue Johnson (Hold Me Tight) is a clinical psychologist and author. Dr. Sue Johnson joins the Armchair Expert to discuss the differences between practical and theoretical psychology, why acknowledging that people's emotions are real is important, and how humans have an organic need to be social. Dax and Sue talk about how men are taught to not be vulnerable, why people want to feel like they matter to other people, and why humans should be curious about other humans' experiences. Sue explains where she learned to observe the world around her, how physical health is connected to emotional health, and why couples often fight with each other. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.