Podcast appearances and mentions of Kevin Skinner

The Disclosure Process: When Honesty Opens the Door to Healing   Episode Summary: In this deeply compassionate and informative episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaels explore one of the most difficult but essential stages in healing from betrayal trauma—the disclosure process. Beginning with the devastation of discovery (D-Day), they walk listeners through the emotional aftermath, the common patterns of staggered and trickle disclosure, and the powerful, structured process of a formal therapeutic disclosure. They explain how this process—consisting of a disclosure statement, an impact letter, and an emotional restitution letter—can move couples toward clarity, trust, and reconnection when handled with care and preparation. Dr. Skinner shares research insights from Jennifer Schneider and Peggy Vaughan, emphasizing the high percentage of couples who found healing and stability after going through a formal disclosure. The conversation also highlights when disclosure is not appropriate—particularly when divorce is imminent or used for legal leverage. Whether you're navigating betrayal trauma or supporting someone who is, this episode offers validation, hope, and practical guidance for one of the hardest conversations a couple can have. Resources Mentioned: Formal Therapeutic Disclosure Process Step 1: Full behavioral disclosure facilitated by therapists Step 2: Impact Letter from the betrayed partner Step 3: Emotional Restitution Letter from the partner who acted out Research Cited: Dr. Jennifer Schneider – Found 90–93% of participants who completed a disclosure were glad they did Dr. Peggy Vaughan – Found 86% of couples who discussed the details of infidelity were still together, compared to 55% who did not Key Terms Defined: Staggered Disclosure Trickle Disclosure Shock vs. Stealth Discovery Safety Seeking Behavior Locus of Control Zeigarnik Effect (the mind's tendency to fixate on incomplete stories) Related Courses by Dr. Skinner at Human Intimacy: Building Boundaries After Betrayal Couple Communication and Reflective Listening How to Communicate When You Don't Know What to Say

When Your Partner Won't Engage: Breaking the Cycle of Disconnection (Part 2)

When Your Partner Won't Engage (Part 1): Breaking the Cycle of Disconnection In Part 1 of this two-part series on The Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis dive into one of the most common yet painful relationship challenges: emotional disengagement. Whether it's a partner who won't talk, shuts down, or avoids hard conversations, this episode unpacks the underlying reasons—like past criticism, emotional wounding, and lack of safety—and offers a compassionate and practical path forward. Drawing from Dr. Sue Johnson's work on attachment patterns, John Gottman's research on emotional flooding, and the Zeigarnik effect, this episode helps listeners recognize the “dance” of disconnection and how to begin stepping out of it. You'll learn why defensiveness and shame can derail conversations, why some questions get asked again and again, and how slowing down and checking in with yourself can begin to change the entire communication dynamic. This foundational conversation sets the stage for Part 2, where Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn will explore what to do after a timeout—how to mentally and emotionally prepare to re-enter a difficult conversation with clarity, empathy, and effectiveness. Key Topics Discussed: Emotional disengagement and communication breakdown Why safety is essential for vulnerability Attachment cycles and the “emotional dance” (Sue Johnson) The Zeigarnik effect and why unresolved issues stay active Defensiveness, shame spirals, and emotional flooding (John Gottman) The role of belief systems (“You don't listen to me,” “I don't matter”) The importance of timing, tone, and non-reactivity Suggested Resources Mentioned: Free Mini-Course: Seven Essential Skills for Healthy Communication – humanintimacy.com – Tools for reflective listening, validating emotions, and clear expression. Mini-Course: How to Communicate When You Don't Know What to Say – Practical guidance for emotionally charged conversations. YouTube Channel: – Dr. Kevin Skinner on YouTube – Watch, comment, and engage with this and future episodes. Email Questions: – Reach out with thoughts or questions: questions@humanintimacy.com Researchers & Models Referenced: Dr. Sue Johnson (Emotionally Focused Therapy) Dr. John Gottman (Emotional flooding and timeouts) Zeigarnik Effect (Unfinished emotional business) Next Episode (Part 2) Preview: Title: When Your Partner Won't Engage (Part 2): How to Reconnect After Taking a Timeout In the follow-up episode, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn continue the conversation by exploring how to effectively return to a difficult discussion after stepping away. You'll learn what to do during a timeout, how to calm your nervous system, and how to re-enter with empathy, clarity, and emotional regulation. Would you like a short version for show notes or a version formatted specifically for YouTube?

  Words That Shape Us: Rethinking the Language We Use in Relationships In this thought-provoking episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the powerful impact of the words we use in our relationships. From misunderstood terms like gaslighting, addiction, and defensiveness to therapeutic concepts like parts work, triggers, and intimacy, they unpack what these words really mean and why clarity matters. Drawing from decades of clinical experience, Dr. Skinner explains how language—used consciously or not—can either create emotional safety or reinforce shame and confusion. MaryAnn adds vivid examples of how common phrases and labels can trigger strong emotional responses, especially when they've been used harmfully in the past. The episode invites listeners to be more intentional about their communication—pausing to clarify meanings, owning emotional experiences instead of blaming others, and understanding the deeper messages behind the words. Listeners will come away with a richer appreciation of how language shapes healing, self-awareness, and human connection. Resources Mentioned in the Episode: Richard C. Schwartz, Internal Family Systems Therapy — foundational model for understanding "parts" of the self Brené Brown — referenced for her work on shame and how addiction is often about numbing and disconnection Key books: The Gifts of Imperfection, Daring Greatly Malcolm Gladwell, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking — explains unconscious decision-making and rapid intuitive responses Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear — explores how intuition and implicit memory keep us safe Joseph LeDoux — neuroscientist referenced for research on the brain's fear pathways and emotional processing (notably how we feel before we think) Dr. Kevin Skinner Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal PTSD Assessment for Betrayed Partners Denial and Blame Scale (early scale now recognized as assessing gaslighting behaviors) Seven Types of Intimacy course — mentioned in the discussion on redefining intimacy beyond sex Podcast Episode: Making Love and Other Non-Sexual Activities (December 2024 / January 2025)  

Self-Leadership: The Roadmap to Healing, Hope, and Deeper Intimacy In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis reflect on Marianne's powerful experience presenting at the ITAP (International Institute of Trauma and Addiction Professionals) Conference, where she introduced a healing-intensive approach combining Frazier's Dissociative Table and Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART). Together, they explore the theme of self-leadership—what it means to take ownership of your healing journey and to navigate pain, trauma, and emotional disconnection with intention and insight. They dive into the importance of understanding our internal parts, drawing from Richard Schwartz's Internal Family Systems (IFS) and his concept of “No Bad Parts.” Listeners are guided to reflect on their emotional patterns, discover the unmet needs behind their actions, and learn how to respond to their emotions with compassion rather than reactivity. The conversation emphasizes that true self-leadership is not about perfection, but about authenticity, congruency, and ultimately, the ability to show up more fully in our most important relationships. Whether you're healing from betrayal, navigating relationship challenges, or seeking personal growth, this episode offers practical insights and encouragement to help you reconnect with yourself and others. Key Topics Covered: The role of self-leadership in trauma recovery and personal transformation Using the Dissociative Table and ART in a one-day intensive model Internal Family Systems and understanding our emotional “parts” The difference between insight and action in behavior change How trauma can lead to emotional reactivity and how to regulate it Why connection is the ultimate goal of healing and self-mastery The importance of giving yourself permission to pause and prioritize healing Resources Mentioned: Frazier's Dissociative Table Technique – A tool to identify internal parts and unresolved trauma Accelerated Resolution Therapy (ART) – A trauma-informed approach for rapid emotional processing Internal Family Systems (IFS) by Richard Schwartz Book: No Bad Parts by Dr. Richard C. Schwartz Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey (reference to “Sharpen the Saw”) Loving-Kindness Meditation – A mindfulness practice focused on compassion for self and others Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) – Insights on unmet needs and attachment ruptures in couples Quote from C.S. Lewis – “There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal.” Listener Takeaway: You don't have to be perfect to lead yourself well. Begin by noticing your patterns, asking what your emotions are trying to tell you, and taking small, intentional steps toward the connection and healing you deserve. Self-leadership is ultimately a journey toward becoming the kind of person who can love—and be loved—deeply.

In love addiction, we may find ourselves feeling betrayed by a partner-- even if we don't know for sure that something is going on--while doubting our instincts, believing we're too sensitive, and giving an emotionally unavailable partner the benefit of the doubt. This feeling adds to our anxiety, and whatever information a partner is withholding adds to the dysfunction of the relationship...and we stay in the cycle of love addiction hoping things will change. In this episode Jodi talks with betrayal trauma therapist, Lindsay Haverslew, about the reality of betrayal trauma. Jodi and Lindsay share personal experiences with betrayal, and discuss signs that a partner is emotionally unavailable, tips for identifying a trustworthy person, and much more.  Show notes and resources: Music by JD Pendley Link to Jodi's website and additional resources Lindsay's website and instagram Lindsay mentioned the work of Jennifer Freyd and Dr. Kevin Skinner and the book Unleashing Your Power  Disclaimer: This podcast is shared for educational and informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for mental health treatment with a licensed mental health professional or to be used in place of the advice of a physician. If you are struggling please don't delay in seeking the assistance of a licensed mental health practitioner or healthcare professional. If you're in crisis please visit NAMI.org or call 1-800-273-TALK for 24-hour assistance.

The Lens of Betrayal: Relearning How to See the Ones We Love In this thought-provoking episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore how betrayal changes the way we see the people closest to us. When trust is broken, our brain naturally shifts into self-protection, filtering our perception through trauma, pain, and fear. Dr. Skinner shares personal stories and clinical insights to illuminate how resentment, grief, and disconnection can cloud our ability to see others clearly. Together, they discuss how healing requires slowing down, grounding the nervous system, and re-engaging the prefrontal cortex to ask deeper questions: Who is this person now? Am I ready to see them anew? The episode encourages listeners to examine their own emotional filters, make space for grief, and learn to see others—and themselves—with compassion, clarity, and maturity. This conversation offers hope, not through rushed reconnection, but through the power of perception and presence. Resources Mentioned & Referenced Reflective Questions to Shift Perspective “Who is my enemy?” “What am I fighting for?” “Am I ready to see this person in a new way?” Neuroscience and Trauma Concepts The amygdala's role in trauma responses (fight, flight, freeze) The prefrontal cortex as the seat of reflective, relational thinking Trauma-informed perception: seeing through past filters Therapeutic Tools and Concepts Reflective Listening – Taught in the free course: Seven Essential Communication Skills (Available at humanintimacy.com) Bids for Connection – From Dr. John Gottman's research Back Pocket Technique – Practicing presence by temporarily setting aside your own perspective Literary Inspiration C.S. Lewis, The Weight of Glory: “There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal…” Related Upcoming Topics Self-Leadership -Self-Mastery When Your Partner Won't Open Up The Fear of Being Seen  

Consent, Communication, and the Core of Intimacy In this powerful and essential episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis dive into the nuanced and often misunderstood topic of sexual consent within committed relationships. Drawing from years of clinical experience and recent conversations with clients, they explore what true consent looks like—voluntary, informed, and mutually respectful—and contrast it with coercion, obligation, and self-betrayal. They examine how past trauma, cultural expectations, sexual addiction, and desire discrepancies can distort intimacy, leaving one or both partners feeling used, unsafe, or unheard. With honesty and compassion, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn emphasize the importance of open communication, healthy boundaries, and attunement between partners. Listeners are encouraged to assess their current sexual dynamics, initiate mature conversations about their needs, and repair harm where consent may have been ignored or unclear. Whether you're in recovery from betrayal or simply looking to build deeper intimacy, this episode offers a vital framework for healing and connection. Resources Mentioned in the Episode: "Talking to Strangers" by Malcolm Gladwell – Particularly the chapter on consent, alcohol, and impaired decision-making "Tea and Consent" YouTube video (British version) – A visual and accessible explanation of consent Research on Sexual Desire Discrepancies – Highlighting how mismatched sexual desire impacts relational satisfaction Brett Williams' "Same Team" Framework – A tool for shifting relational conflict toward shared problem-solving Concepts from betrayal trauma therapy – Including the importance of informed, voluntary participation and boundaries during sexual reintegration  

Healing Body Image and Self-Perception After Betrayal   In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore how early life experiences, cultural messaging, and exposure to media and pornography shape self-perception and body image—especially after betrayal. They discuss why betrayed partners often feel "not enough," and they share research shows that pornography harms both users' and partners' body image.   The episode offers practical strategies for healing, including gratitude for the body's functionality, redefining beauty beyond appearance, and reconnecting with the joyful, authentic self. This conversation invites listeners to free themselves from harmful comparisons and embrace their inherent worth. Resources Discussed: - Study: The Association of Pornography Use and Body Image Among Heterosexual and Sexual Minority Men (Archives of Sexual Behavior). - Key concepts: Self-perception, media influence, social comparison theory, and gratitude-based body acceptance. —- Did you miss the First Annual Human Intimacy Conference? Session replays are now available. Click here and use this coupon code to get a 20% discount (Conf20). Watch Dr. Kevin Skinner, MaryAnn Michaelis, Karen Strange, Michelle Mays, Geoff Steurer, and many others as they discuss the healing and recovery process.

The Bravery of Letting Go: A Deep Dive into Self-Forgiveness and Healing   In this vulnerable and thought-provoking episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most challenging aspects of the healing journey: self-forgiveness. Whether you've acted in ways you're not proud of or internalized blame after betrayal, the burden of shame can keep you tethered to past pain. Together, they unpack why so many individuals—both betrayed partners and those who have acted out—struggle to forgive themselves, even long after change begins. The conversation addresses the role of shame as a perceived protector, the internal dialogue that keeps us stuck, and how self-forgiveness isn't just an emotional release, but a physiological and relational turning point. Drawing from Internal Family Systems (IFS), systems theory, trauma research, and recovery work, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn examine how embracing self-forgiveness leads to renewed self-trust, authentic change, and deeper connection. Listeners are also introduced to somatic and spiritual tools for letting go of self-judgment and are encouraged to explore their capacity to receive love—not just give it. The message is clear: your healing matters, and you are worthy of moving forward. Resources Mentioned: - Internal Family Systems (IFS) – A therapeutic model exploring parts of the self, especially protective parts tied to shame and fear.   - Mark Wolynn – Author of It Didn't Start with You, discussing inherited family trauma and emotional tethering across generations.   - Dr. Joe Dispenza – Work referenced regarding emotional addiction and how familiar patterns of pain can become neurologically ingrained.   - Dr. Kristin Neff – [selfcompassion.org](https://selfcompassion.org), a resource hub for meditations and exercises on self-compassion and self-forgiveness.   - Dr. Carol Dweck – Growth vs. fixed mindset; how change is possible through effort and intentionality.   - Dr. Kevin Skinner –Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal, discussing concepts such as the locus of control and how misplaced self-blame limits healing.   - 12-Step Recovery Principles – Concepts of surrender, self-reflection, and spiritual healing in addiction recovery.   - Somatic Exercises for Releasing Shame – Bilateral stimulation, body scans, and metaphor-based visualization to help the body release emotional burdens.   - Visualization Practices – Inviting clients to connect with a Higher Power, or a loving internal figure like a grandparent, to find grace and compassion within.

The Shame We Carry: Giving Voice to the Unspoken In this special episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and co-host MaryAnn Michaelis delve into the profound impact of shame, secrecy, and silent suffering in relationships—especially in the context of sexual betrayal. They explore the internal negotiations we make with ourselves to hide the parts we fear will lead to rejection, and the cultural contradictions that often deepen our shame. Drawing from decades of clinical experience, research, and personal insights, they emphasize that healing begins when we give voice to the unspoken. Whether it's through journaling, therapy, or a safe disclosure process, naming our shame and speaking our secrets out loud—especially in safe spaces—can free us from isolation, enhance emotional and physical health, and open the door to deeper connection. Listeners will learn how shame manifests in the body, how to recognize its signals, and why expressive writing and safe vulnerability are powerful healing tools. The conversation also highlights how shame affects both betrayed partners and those who have acted out, and how couples can begin to talk honestly—when the timing and safety are right. Key Topics Covered: - The burden of silent suffering and hidden behaviors - The role of internal negotiation and self-deception - Cultural contradictions around sexuality and shame - The physiological impact of shame (e.g., depression, immune suppression) - The healing power of expressive writing and confession - How to recognize shame in the body - The need for safe environments for vulnerability and honesty - Why shame must be addressed in any path to relationship healing Resources & References Mentioned: - Dr. James Pennebaker's research on expressive writing and its impact on depression and immune health   - Brené Brown's work on vulnerability, shame, and the neuroscience of shame ("shame hits the brain like blunt force trauma")   - Anna Lembke's quote: “Recounting our experiences gives us mastery over them”   - Discussion of shame-centered PTSD framework by Terry Taylor, visualizing shame at the core with different protective reactions (anger, avoidance, depression, addiction)   - Dr. Skinner's 100-Day Courses for betrayed partners and those who have acted out, including targeted strategies to address shame   - Mention of the movie Frozen — and the lesson of “Let It Go” as a metaphor for releasing shame and emotional burdens Takeaway Message:  Shame thrives in silence. Healing begins when we find the courage and the safety to speak. Whether through writing, therapy, or trusted relationships, naming and voicing our hidden experiences gives us freedom, connection, and hope.

Forgiveness: The Misunderstood Path to Healing and Human Intimacy   In this heartfelt and powerful episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaels dive into the complex, often misunderstood topic of forgiveness—especially within relationships affected by betrayal and emotional wounds. Using real-life role-play, personal insight, and professional wisdom, they explore what forgiveness is—and isn't. Together, they examine the common misconceptions surrounding forgiveness, such as equating it with blind trust or minimizing deep pain. They clarify the distinctions between love, trust, and forgiveness, and how rebuilding trust must be an intentional and ongoing process.  Drawing from Janis Abrahms Spring's framework in How Can I Forgive You?, they outline four types of forgiveness: Cheap forgiveness, Refusal to forgive, Acceptance, Genuine forgiveness Through this lens, they highlight the importance of emotional honesty, boundaries, and the reparative dance between the one who was hurt and the one who caused harm. MaryAnn also introduces a reflective visualization exercise called “The Field of Grace”, inviting listeners to explore how and when to release the emotional burdens they've been carrying. Both Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn compassionately affirm that forgiveness is a process—not a moment—and that true healing often comes in unexpected ways. This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the difficult terrain of relational repair, self-awareness, or trauma recovery. --- References & Resources Mentioned   - Spring, J. A. (2004). How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not To. HarperCollins.   - Brown, B. (2015). Rising Strong*. Spiegel & Grau. (Referenced for the "marble jar" trust analogy)   - Skinner, K. (2017). Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal: The Essential Tools for Healing. KSkinner Publishing.   - Visualization Exercise: The Field of Grace, shared by therapist and colleague Karen Strange   - Concepts referenced from EFT (Emotionally Focused Therapy) and betrayal trauma research   - PTSD criteria related to betrayal trauma, particularly avoidance and emotional isolation  

From Self-Deception to Self-Trust: Honoring Emotions After Betrayal In this deeply moving episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaels are joined by special guest Jennifer Johnson, a clinical mental health counselor and expert in betrayal trauma and sex addiction recovery. Together, they explore the nuanced concept of self-deception—not as a character flaw, but as a survival response often rooted in upbringing, family systems, and emotional safety. They discuss how many betrayed partners struggle to trust their instincts and emotions, often minimizing their experiences or denying them altogether due to social conditioning, gaslighting, or fear of the truth. The conversation highlights the importance of self-awareness, emotional identification, and self-compassion as key steps toward healing and reclaiming authenticity. Jennifer shares powerful insights on learning to honor emotions through body awareness, identifying internalized shame, and rediscovering one's inherent worth. Dr. Skinner closes with a formula: Self-Compassion → Self-Trust = Authenticity—emphasizing that true intimacy begins with being real, both with ourselves and others. ---  

Overcoming Resentment: A Barrier to Connection and Healing   In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, hosts Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis dive into the profound impact of resentment in relationships, particularly in the context of betrayal, trust, and healing. They explore how resentment stems from unmet expectations, unresolved hurts, and past wounds, and how it influences behavior and intimacy. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn discuss the importance of self-reflection, emotional regulation, and honest communication in addressing resentment constructively. They also emphasize the role of attachment wounds in triggering resentment and how awareness of these wounds can help individuals process their emotions more effectively.   The episode concludes with practical steps for recognizing and working through resentment, including self-reflection exercises, journaling, body awareness techniques, and healthy communication strategies. The hosts also announce a special discount for accessing the Human Intimacy Conference recordings, providing an opportunity to learn from top experts in the field.   Key Resources Discussed:   1. 12-Step Support Groups (Step 10) – A daily practice for recognizing and addressing fear, anger, disappointment, and resentment.   2. Self-Reflection Questions for Processing Resentment:     - Do I find myself feeling angry, upset, or irritated toward someone?      - What specific event or experience triggered this resentment?      - What belief or core wound is attached to this resentment?      - Have I felt this way before in past relationships or childhood?      - How can I communicate my feelings in a way that fosters healing rather than blame?   3. EMDR Emotional Float-Back Technique – A guided method to trace current emotional reactions to earlier life experiences, identifying core wounds.   4. Dr. Sue Johnson's Attachment Theory – Understanding how unmet attachment needs create resentment and relational disconnection.   5. Pia Mellody's Work on Trauma & Codependency – Exploring how resentment can keep individuals stuck in a victim mindset and how to shift to an empowered stance.   6. Healthy Communication Strategies – Differentiating between blame-driven resentment and honest, healing dialogue to create deeper understanding and emotional safety.   8. Human Intimacy Conference Recordings —Access to expert-led sessions on intimacy, betrayal healing, and relational repair, available at humanintimacy.com with the discount code: HIConference50 for 50% off—Available April 1st, 2025 This episode provides valuable insights and actionable tools to help listeners acknowledge, process, and communicate their resentment in a way that fosters growth and deeper intimacy.

Parenting Through Betrayal: Helping Children When You're in Chaos   In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis discuss one of the most challenging aspects of betrayal—parenting while navigating your own trauma. When betrayal shakes a relationship, children often experience the ripple effects, sometimes without fully understanding what's happening. The conversation explores the deep shame that both betrayed and betraying parents often feel, the impact of unspoken emotional tension on children, and the long-term effects of parental betrayal on a child's development.   Dr. Skinner shares personal experiences and insights on how betrayal influences family systems, emphasizing the importance of open, age-appropriate communication with children. MaryAnn highlights key strategies for disclosing difficult truths while prioritizing a child's emotional well-being. The episode also offers guidance on avoiding parentification, navigating parental shame, and maintaining connection despite emotional overwhelm.   The conversation underscores the importance of not only individual healing but also addressing the broader family system to foster resilience and long-term healing.   --- Recommended Resources   Books & Articles: 1. Mending a Shattered Heart – Edited by Stefanie Carnes, PhD      A guide for partners navigating betrayal trauma, with a chapter on how and what to disclose to children.  2. The Power of Attachment – Diane Poole Heller, PhD      Explores attachment trauma and how showing up even 30% of the time can foster secure connections.  3. The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk, MD      Insights on how trauma is stored in the body and its impact on emotional regulation.   4. Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal – Dr. Kevin Skinner      A deep dive into betrayal trauma and strategies for healing.   Practical Tools for Parents:   EMDR Therapy –      Consider finding an EMDR therapist to help process trauma and unspoken memories that may impact parenting.*   Family Dialogue Guidelines:    - Keep disclosures age-appropriate.      - Avoid using children as emotional supports.      - Validate their feelings and reassure them that they are loved.      - Offer ongoing opportunities for discussion, rather than one-time conversations.   --- Special Offer   Human Intimacy Conference – March 14-15, 2025   Listeners can register with the coupon code Podcast50 for 50% off and receive a free Human Intimacy course of their choice.  --- This episode is a must-listen for parents navigating betrayal trauma, offering compassionate guidance on maintaining connection with children while processing personal pain.

Finding the Right Support: How to Get Help After Betrayal and Addiction     In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis discuss the crucial topic of seeking help after experiencing sexual betrayal, addiction, or trauma. They explore the different types of support available—family, friends, support groups, sponsors, therapy, and coaching—highlighting the importance of finding the right kind of help for each individual's healing journey.   Dr. Skinner shares research on the effectiveness of various support systems, emphasizing that meaningful support significantly improves recovery outcomes. MaryAnn adds insights on the power of connection in healing and why structured support, such as therapy and specialized groups, can be more effective than informal conversations with friends and family. They also discuss the growing role of coaching and the key differences between coaching and therapy, cautioning listeners to seek professional support for trauma-related issues.   Additionally, they introduce the upcoming Human Intimacy Conference, featuring over 20 experts with a collective 400 years of experience in helping individuals and couples heal from betrayal and relationship challenges. The episode concludes with an invitation to explore available resources, including Dr. Skinner's online support groups, courses, and the Human Intimacy Conference.   Resources Mentioned:   1. Support Groups & Recovery Programs:      - 12-Step Groups (S-Anon, COSA, SA, SAA, SLAA, etc.)      - CPTT betrayal trauma through IITAP      - APSATS (Association of Partners of Sex Addicts Trauma Specialists)      - NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) for general mental health support   2. Professional Help:      - Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSATs)      - Trauma-focused Therapists (EMDR, ART, Somatic Therapy)      - Finding a specialized therapist via humanintimacy.com   3. Educational Resources & Online Support:      - *Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal* by Dr. Kevin Skinner      - *Help Her Heal* by Carol Juergensen Sheets      - Dr. Skinner's online courses and support groups (humanintimacy.com/supportgroup)      - The 100-Day Course: *100 Days to Healing from Sexual Betrayal*      - The 100-Day Course for Partners Who Acted Out Sexually   4. The Human Intimacy Conference (March 2025):      - Pre- and post-conference expert interviews      - Live and recorded sessions from leading experts      - Free access to the 100-Day Healing Courses for registrants      - Registration at humanintimacy.com Last chance to get a discount, use this coupon code: Podcast50  This episode is a must-listen for anyone navigating the complexities of healing from betrayal or addiction. It provides valuable guidance on choosing the right support system and highlights the importance of surrounding oneself with trusted, informed voices.

Navigating Attachment, Fear, and Connection in a Divided World      In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner is joined by Michelle Mays, author of The Betrayal Bind, to discuss the impact of betrayal trauma on attachment and how attachment plays a broader role in our relationships and society. Michelle shares insights from her experience as a licensed professional counselor and creator of the Attachment-Focused Partner Betrayal Model.   The conversation delves into how fear affects our attachment systems, particularly in personal relationships and at a societal level. They explore how political and cultural divides create a sense of disconnection and anxiety, mirroring the dynamics seen in betrayal trauma. Michelle and Dr. Skinner discuss the importance of slowing down, recognizing fear-based responses, and fostering connection instead of falling into fight-or-flight behaviors.   The discussion also highlights how betrayed partners often experience disorganized attachment, where their primary source of safety becomes a source of danger. Michelle explains how healing involves moving from disorganization back to secure attachment, both with oneself and with others. The episode concludes with practical strategies for overcoming fear-driven disconnection and promoting deeper, more meaningful relationships.   Michelle also previews her upcoming talk at the Human Intimacy Conference*, where she will dive deeper into how attachment influences betrayal recovery and relationship repair.   Resources Discussed in This Episode:   1. Books & Authors:      - The Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays      - Rebuilding Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal by Dr. Kevin Skinner      - Willpower by Roy Baumeister      - Digital Minimalism by Cal Newport      - Intimate Interactions (referenced in discussion)   2. Key Psychological Concepts:      - Attachment Theory (Bowlby, Shaver & Hazan)      - The Attachment-Focused Partner Betrayal Model (Michelle Mays)      - Disorganized Attachment & Betrayal Trauma      - Fight, Flight, Freeze Responses in Relationships      - Orienting Response & Nervous System Regulation   3. Practical Strategies for Listeners:      - Slowing down before reacting to emotional triggers      - Identifying personal fear responses (fight, flight, or freeze)      - Practicing digital minimalism—choosing when and how to consume media      - Prioritizing human connection over power struggles in relationships and society      - Using curiosity and open-ended questions to navigate disagreements      - Recognizing and addressing deeper emotional needs in relationships   4. Upcoming Event:      - The Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025)        - Featuring Michelle Mays and other leading experts        - Early registration discount code: **50OFF** for $50 off   This episode challenges listeners to examine their own attachment patterns, reflect on their fear responses, and foster deeper connections in a world that often promotes disconnection.

Dr. Kevin Skinner is a licensed marriage and family therapist. Throughout his 30 year career Dr. Skinner has worked to help individuals dealing with the pain associated with divorce. This course is a culmination of research and study on how to accelerate healing. In addition to therapy, Dr. Skinner has created online courses for Bloomforwomen.com and Noble.health. He has written professional assessments completed by thousands of people. He is the author of four books, Treating Sexual Addiction: A Compassionate Approach to Recovery, Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal, Treating Pornography Addiction, and Rebuild Your Relationship after Sexual Betrayal. He has also trained therapists throughout the world as a faculty member for IITAP. Together with his wife Katy they have 8 children and two grandchildrenFree Course: HEREHuman Intimacy Conference: HERECoupon Code: 50OffTherapy: HEREAshlynn is a resilient force of nature, balancing motherhood, entrepreneurship, and self-discovery. Walking through healing her own wounds while empowering others through podcasts and coaching, she's a beacon of hope for women navigating life's storms. With a heart full of compassion and a spirit of adventure, Ashlynn guides others to break free from their past and embrace a bold, boundary-rich future. Through her transformative programs and global retreats, she ignites the spark of possibility in women ready to rewrite their stories.Follow her on social media at https://www.instagram.com/this.isashlynn?igsh=d3l2b256d3E0ZWky&utm_source=qrMentor with her at HERE

Gaslighting, Lies, and Healing: The Path to Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal In this powerful episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner is joined by Dr. Sheri Denham Keffer, a nationally recognized expert on betrayal trauma and author of “Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal.” Together, they dive deep into the topic of gaslighting—what it is, how it impacts betrayed partners, and why it is often more devastating than the betrayal itself. They discuss the psychological and emotional toll of deception, blame-shifting, and minimization, and how these behaviors contribute to trauma.   Dr. Keffer shares personal experiences, research insights, and clinical expertise, highlighting how gaslighting leads to deeper levels of trauma and self-doubt. They explore the critical role of truth-telling in healing, the necessity of accountability, and how betrayed partners can begin to trust themselves again.   The episode also touches on the role of therapy, common mistakes made in the healing process, and the dangers of “social gaslighting”, where the betrayer manipulates others into doubting the betrayed partner's experience. Finally, Dr. Keffer shares details about her “Brave One Community”, an online support network for betrayed partners, and announces her upcoming presentation at the Human Intimacy Conference in March 2025.   Resources Discussed:   1. Dr. Sheri Keffer's Book – Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Sexual Betrayal      - Explores the impact of deception and betrayal on partners, offering tools for healing.   2. Dr. Kevin Skinner's Book – Rebuild Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal    - Features a chapter on Gaslighting No More, helping couples navigate truth and trust-building.   3. The Gaslighting Scale      - A research-based tool developed to measure the impact of gaslighting on betrayed partners.   4. The Brave One Community     - An online support group for women healing from sexual betrayal.      - Special offer: One-month free membership at (https://braveone.com/intimacy)   5. ERCEM Model (Early Recovery Couples Empathy Model)    - A structured approach to helping couples rebuild emotional connection after betrayal.   6. Therapeutic Full Disclosure & Polygraph Process      - A structured process designed to establish truth and rebuild trust in relationships after betrayal.   7. The Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025)      - Featuring over 20 experts and 400+ years of combined clinical experience.      - Limited-time offer: 50% off registration with code 50OFF.   This episode is a must-listen for anyone recovering from betrayal or seeking to understand the deep psychological effects of gaslighting.

The Power of Attachment in Healing Relationships with Geoff Steurer   In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner welcomes his longtime friend and colleague, Geoff Steurer, a licensed marriage and family therapist and expert in relational healing. Together, they dive into the crucial role of attachment in relationships, especially in the aftermath of betrayal and addiction.   The conversation explores how attachment bonds shape our experiences of intimacy, trust, and security. Geoff and Kevin discuss common attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—and how they influence relationship dynamics. They address the unique challenges couples face when navigating the tension between wanting to stay together and the pain of betrayal.   Listeners will gain insights into:   - Why attachment is not a choice but a fundamental human experience.   - How attachment wounds impact relationships after infidelity and betrayal.   - Practical strategies for healing and strengthening bonds.   - The role of reassurance, validation, and vulnerability in rebuilding trust.   - Overcoming common obstacles like sexual desire discrepancies and emotional disconnect.   As a preview of the upcoming Human Intimacy Conference on March 14-15, 2025, Geoff shares how his session will provide a deeper dive into attachment wounds and betrayal trauma.   If you've ever struggled with trust, emotional safety, or relationship recovery, this episode provides practical tools and compassionate guidance for navigating relational challenges with greater awareness and intention.   Resources Mentioned:  1. Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025) – Featuring leading experts, including Geoff Steurer, Dr. Sheri Keffer, Michelle Mays, and Dr. Kevin Skinner.      - Learn more: [HumannIntimacy Conference 2025 Use Coupon Code 50off 2. Books & Research:      - Hold Me Tight– Dr. Sue Johnson (Emotionally Focused Therapy and Attachment Science)      - Attached – Dr. Amir Levine & Rachel Heller (Understanding Attachment Styles)      - The Power of Attachment — Dr. Diane Poole Heller      - Love 2.0 – Dr. Barbara Fredrickson (The Science of Creating Love)   3. Therapeutic Approaches Discussed:    - Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)      - Polyvagal Theory – Dr. Stephen Porges      - The Impact of Early Attachment Experiences on Adult Relationships   4. Geoff Steurer's Work & Resources:      -Website: GeoffSteurer.com   Join us in this enlightening conversation to better understand attachment and how it shapes the way we love, connect, and heal in relationships.

Breaking Free: How to Get Unstuck from Trauma and Reclaim Your Life   In this milestone 52nd episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis discuss one of the most challenging aspects of healing—getting stuck in trauma. Many individuals feel trapped in past experiences, unable to move forward despite years of therapy or self-help efforts. Trauma is not logical; it bypasses rational thought and gets stored in the body, often resurfacing in fight, flight, or freeze responses.   This episode delves into the neuroscience behind trauma, explaining implicit vs. explicit memories, generational trauma, and learned helplessness. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn explore why people remain stuck and share proven strategies for processing and releasing trauma through evidence-based therapies. They emphasize the importance of body-based approaches, neuroplasticity, and the hope that real healing is possible.   Listeners will also hear about the Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025), featuring leading experts in the field. As a special thank-you, podcast listeners can receive 50% off registration (expires Feb 8) and a free 100-day healing course upon signing up.  Coupon Code: 50off Resources Mentioned in This Episode:   Therapeutic Modalities for Trauma Healing:   1. EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) – Uses bilateral stimulation to help the brain process and integrate traumatic memories.   2. ART (Accelerated Resolution Therapy) – Uses visualization and rapid eye movement to help rewrite trauma narratives.   3. Brainspotting – Identifies and processes trauma by focusing on where distress is stored in the brain.   4. Somatic Experiencing (Dr. Peter Levine) – Focuses on releasing trauma stored in the body through physical awareness.   5. Polyvagal Theory (Dr. Stephen Porges) – Helps regulate the nervous system and restore safety in the body.   6. Trauma-Informed Yoga – Uses movement and breathwork to help the body release trauma.   Books and Experts Referenced:   - The Body Keeps the Score – Dr. Bessel van der Kolk   - Waking the Tiger: Healing Trauma – Dr. Peter Levine   - The Developing Mind – Dr. Dan Siegel   - Facing Codependency – Pia Mellody   - The Circuit of Hope – Dr. Martin Seligman   - The Choice – Dr. Edith Eger   Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025):   - Coupon Code: 50off —50% discount available for podcast listeners (expires Feb 8).   - Featured Experts: Dr. Kevin Skinner, Michelle Mays, Dr. Sheri Keffer, Dr. David Robinson, Geoff Steurer, and more.   - Bonus: Register and receive a $100 gift toward Dr. Skinner's 100-Day Healing Course.   - Special Sessions: Pre- and post-conference Evening With the Experts, covering topics like rebuilding trust and getting unstuck.   Final Message:   If you feel stuck in trauma or emotional patterns that seem impossible to break, know that healing is possible. The brain can change, and you are not alone in this journey. Seek support, explore body-based healing modalities, and, most importantly, give yourself compassion.  

Reclaiming Self-Worth: A Journey Back to Who You Truly Are --- In this episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis delve into the important topic of self-worth. Distinguishing it from self-esteem, they explore the enduring, inherent value each person holds regardless of external achievements, failures, or relationships. The conversation unpacks how life experiences and traumas, including sexual betrayal, shape our perceptions of self-worth and the conclusions we draw about ourselves. Through personal stories, professional insights, and actionable steps, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn guide listeners on a journey to reclaim their intrinsic value. They emphasize that our worth is immutable, present from birth, and encourage self-compassion, reflection, and connection as pathways to healing and growth.   The episode also introduces five key steps to reclaiming self-worth, practical exercises for self-reflection, and the role of safe relationships in challenging and reshaping limiting beliefs. It concludes with an invitation to the upcoming Human Intimacy Conference, a two-day event offering expert guidance and resources for healing from betrayal and fostering deeper connection in relationships.   --- Key Resources Mentioned:   1. Kristin Neff's Work on Self-Compassion: Insights on the differentiation between self-esteem and self-worth.   2. The Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker: Exploration of belief systems and their impact on self-perception.   3. Parts Work Therapy: A therapeutic approach to understanding internal dynamics and challenging limiting beliefs.   4. Human Intimacy Conference (March 14–15, 2025): A two-day event featuring leading experts in relationships, sex addiction, and betrayal trauma, with over 400 years of collective experience.   Coupon Code: Podcast50 (Individual Registration) + Access to Dr. Skinner's 100 Day Course Podcast100 (Couple Registration) + Access to Dr. Skinner's 100 Day Courses for acting out and betrayed partner 5. Dr. Skinner's 100-Day Courses:      - For betrayed partners.      - For those overcoming unwanted sexual behaviors.   --- Action Steps for Listeners:   - Reflect on the life experiences that have shaped your self-worth using the five-step framework shared in the episode.   - Identify supportive individuals or communities who can offer clarity and encouragement in your healing journey.   - Consider attending the Human Intimacy Conference for further resources and expert guidance. Access includes Dr. Skinner's comprehensive 100-day courses on healing and recovery.   This episode serves as both a practical guide and a heartfelt reminder of the unshakable worth within each of us.  

In this episode of the Helping Couples Heal podcast, Marnie talks with Dr. Kevin Skinner about gaslighting and abuse in the context of betrayal trauma. Together, they explore how psychological abuse and gaslighting impacts betrayed partners and creates a significant barrier to relational healing and emotional intimacy. While an incredibly painful topic that can also trigger immense shame and a host of other difficult emotions, turning towards the reality of abuse is the only way to heal.

Navigating Triggers in Public Spaces: Building Trust and Connection After Betrayal   In this the 50th episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis delve into the challenges couples face when navigating public spaces after betrayal. They explore how hypervigilance, triggers, and the history of betrayal influence interactions in environments like malls or restaurants. The discussion highlights practical strategies to help individuals and couples create "prepared plans" for these crucial moments, allowing them to build trust and connection instead of succumbing to defensiveness or disconnection. Key topics include:   - Recognizing triggers and fostering self-awareness.   - The importance of empathy and validation in rebuilding trust.   - Strategies for humanizing others and breaking free from objectification.   - Tools for accountability and recovery when old patterns resurface.   - The value of proper preparation to prevent conflict and foster connection.   This episode provides actionable insights for couples and individuals seeking to navigate the complexities of recovery and strengthen their relationships in the aftermath of betrayal. Resources Discussed  1. First Annual Human Intimacy Conference (March 14–15, 2025)      - Featuring experts like Dr. Sherri Keffer, Michelle Mays, and Dr. Dave Robinson.      - Sessions on betrayal recovery, trust rebuilding, and post-divorce healing.      - Discounted registration: $50 off for individuals and $100 off for couples.      - [Register here] Use Coupon codes: Individual Code: Podcast50 Couples Code: Podcast100 2. Books & Authors Mentioned:      - The Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays      - Dr. Kevin Skinner's Rebuild Your Relationship after Sexual Betrayal   3. Recovery Tools:      - Mindfulness techniques for addressing triggers.      - Accountability practices for navigating public spaces.      - Strategies for emotional regulation and creating connection.

Self-Work and Overcoming Resistance: Embracing the Change Process   In this episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis discuss the concept of self-work, emphasizing its importance in personal growth and relationship improvement. They explore the challenges of resistance to change, offering practical strategies for self-reflection and breaking down the change process into manageable steps. The conversation underscores that self-work is an ongoing journey requiring courage, introspection, and accountability. Key Points   1. Definition of Self-Work     - Self-work involves identifying areas for personal improvement and taking intentional steps to address them.      - It can focus on health, mental well-being, relationships, or professional growth. 2. Overcoming Resistance      - Resistance to change is natural due to habitual patterns.      - Recognizing and leaning into resistance is a critical step in the growth process. 3. Practical Exercise for Change      - Start with a five-minute self-reflection exercise to identify areas for improvement.      - Narrow the list to one priority and explore why it's important.      - Develop a "how" plan to implement change with specific, actionable steps. 4. Building Accountability and Support     - Share your goals with trusted individuals for accountability.      - Visualize success to strengthen commitment and consistency. 5. The Role of Courage and Insight      - Change requires honesty and courage to face discomfort and step into the unknown.      - Insight gained through self-reflection provides clarity and direction. 6. The Power of Unlearning    - Self-work may involve unlearning patterns and beliefs inherited from family or culture.      - Addressing deep-seated habits can influence generational healing. 7. Daily and Lifelong Application      - Self-work can be applied daily to specific areas (e.g., relationships, work, health).      - Long-term, it fosters lasting transformation and improves overall quality of life. 8. The Human Intimacy Conference      - A reminder about the upcoming Human Intimacy Conference on March 14-15, 2025.      - The conference will provide tools and insights for couples and individuals navigating betrayal trauma, infidelity, and post-divorce challenges.

In this powerful and deeply important episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis discuss the far-reaching influence of pornography on individuals, relationships, and society. The episode reveals shocking statistics about the average age of first exposure—11 years old—and explores the lasting psychological, emotional, and relational consequences for both children and adults. The conversation dives into critical issues, including the normalization of violence in mainstream pornography, the grooming of children, and the internalized shame that fuels secrecy and addiction.   The hosts also address societal challenges such as the inadequacy of filtering systems, the need for stronger legislative action like age-verification laws, and the responsibility of parents and communities to educate and protect children. Through compelling stories and clinical insights, they illustrate the profound impact of pornography on mental health, self-perception, and relationships.   The episode concludes with an inspiring message of hope and recovery. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn emphasize the transformative power of healing, self-awareness, and relational connection. They encourage listeners to take personal and collective action to safeguard future generations and support those seeking recovery and true intimacy.   Resources Discussed:   1. Statistics on Pornography Exposure:    - Average age of exposure: 11 years old.      - 22% of minors exposed to pornography are under the age of 10.      - 58% of minors accessing pornography are under the age of 14.      - 63% of minors reported accidental exposure in the past week.   2. Books and Research:      - Treating Sexual Addiction: A Compassionate Approach to Recovery by Dr. Kevin Skinner.      - The Children of Pornhub by Nicholas Kristof, New York Times.   3. Legislative and Advocacy Efforts:    - Age-verification laws in 19 states designed to protect minors from accessing pornography.      - Supreme Court case on January 15th to evaluate the constitutionality of Texas' age-verification law.   4. Recommended Organizations and Tools:      - Covenant Eyes: Monitoring and filtering software to help manage online activity.      - Exodus Cry: A non-profit organization focusing on ending sexual exploitation.      - National Center on Sexual Exploitation (NCOSE): Advocacy and educational resources for combating pornography and exploitation.      - White Ribbon Week Curriculum: A program teaching children digital literacy and discernment.   5. Strategies for Action:      - Contact local representatives to support age-verification laws and digital safety measures.      - Use filtering software to mitigate exposure but recognize its limitations.      - Educate children early about the realities and harms of pornography.      - Advocate for improved online safety measures in schools and communities.   6. Healing and Recovery:      - Join group therapy or accountability programs for individuals struggling with pornography addiction.      - Seek professional help and focus on aligning actions with personal values for long-term recovery.      - Emphasize the importance of relational skills and authentic connection over artificial substitutes.   Next Steps for Listeners:  - Share this episode to spread awareness.   - Contact local representatives to support age-verification laws and advocate for digital safety.   - Learn more about the Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025) at (http://humanintimacy.com).   - Explore additional healing and advocacy resources through NCOSE and Exodus Cry.   This episode challenges listeners to take action, protect children, and reclaim the ability to foster healthy, intimate relationships in a culture deeply affected by the harmful impacts of pornography.     Other resources provided:  A link to EC's campaign, Protect Children Not Porn that includes: A short animated video on the importance of AV Our documentary called Raised on Porn Our petition that almost has 100,000 signatures  Statistics on the harms of pornography on children A link to EC's state-by-state Age Verification Tracker A link to EC's stat page that includes stats on harms of pornography on children, the amount of pornography easily accessible to children, and the average ages of children that are viewing pornography. And our two-pager on why Age Verification is essential in protecting children. 

New Year, New Habits: The Science of Change and Lasting Transformation   In this inspiring New Year's Day episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis dive into the challenges and opportunities of creating lasting change. They explore why most New Year's resolutions fail and share practical strategies for success, including understanding intrinsic motivation, habit stacking, and the power of accountability. Drawing from personal experiences and psychological research, the hosts highlight the importance of preparation, intentionality, and community in achieving meaningful transformation. As they reflect on their own journeys and invite listeners to join the Change 2.0 program, they emphasize that change is always possible with the right tools and mindset.

Becoming a Peacemaker: Finding Peace Within and Sharing It With the World    In this special Christmas episode of ”The Human Intimacy Podcast”, Dr. Kevin Skinner and his colleague, MaryAnn Michaelis, explore what it means to be a true peacemaker. While the holidays are often a time of joy, they can also bring stress, conflict, and hurt. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn challenge common misconceptions about peacemaking—showing that it's not about "rolling over" or avoiding conflict, but rather creating internal alignment, setting boundaries, and confronting unhealthy behaviors with love and integrity. Listeners will gain insight into:   - How to find peace within themselves first   - The connection between inner calm and external kindness (polyvagal theory)   - Why true peacemaking involves both gentleness and courage   - Practical ways to be a peacemaker in daily life, from small acts of kindness to addressing difficult situations   The episode reminds us that being a peacemaker begins with who we are inside—a state of congruence with our values, gratitude, and a willingness to lift others up. Key Resources Discussed:   1. Polyvagal Theory (Dr. Stephen Porges):      - Understanding states of calm (ventral vagal), fight-or-flight (sympathetic), and shutdown (dorsal vagal) to regulate emotions and foster peace.   2. 12-Step Programs:      - Tools for introspection and self-awareness to identify areas for growth.   3. Dr. Martin Seligman's Work on Gratitude and Happiness:      - Books: ”Authentic Happiness” and “Flourish”      - Highlighting the link between gratitude and higher levels of happiness. 4. Boundaries:     - Defining enabling behaviors and setting clear, healthy boundaries to promote peace in relationships.   5. Mr. Rogers' Example of Peacemaking:      - Addressing difficult topics with kindness, compassion, and clarity.   6. Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation:      - Simple, everyday practices to lift others up, from small compliments to acts ofBecoming a Peacemaker: Finding Peace Within and Sharing It With the World Action Steps for Listeners: - Reflection Exercise:    Write down a moment when someone was a peacemaker for you. Reach out to thank them.   - Be Intentional:      Identify opportunities this week to:      1. Address unhealthy behaviors lovingly.      2. Lift someone up with kind words or actions.      3. Slow down, reflect on gratitude, and identify areas where you need internal peace.  

You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married: Rebuilding Communication, Trust, and Love with Brett Williams In this episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner welcomes his long-time friend and fellow therapist, Brett Williams, author of You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married. With over 35 years of experience as a marriage and family therapist, Brett dives into the complexities of couple communication and conflict resolution. He introduces the “Four C's” of communication—Chit Chat, Communicating, Correcting, and Combating—and explains how couples can move away from destructive patterns of blame and escalation.   Brett emphasizes the importance of creating a safe space for confession—vulnerably sharing emotions without defensiveness—and highlights that love is the free gift of attention. Together, Dr. Skinner and Brett offer actionable strategies for effective communication, understanding your partner's needs, and building love-based solutions for deeper intimacy and connection.   The episode concludes with an exciting announcement about the first annual Human Intimacy Conference (March 14th and 15th, 2025), where Brett will explore whether loving again after betrayal is possible and provide tools for trust and communication You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married: Rebuilding Communication, Trust, and Love with Brett Williams Resources Mentioned:   1. Brett Williams' Book:      - You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married: Love-Based Solutions for Couples.   2. Concepts and Techniques:      - The Four C's of Communication (Chit Chat, Communicating, Correcting, Combating).      - The Attention Reception Test (visual, auditory, kinesthetic preferences).      - Love-Based Solutions for rebuilding connection and trust.      - Physiological regulation during conflict (monitor heart rate and nervous system).   3. Related Research and Experts:      - Dr. John Gottman: Impact of escalated heart rates on communication.      - Dr. Stephen Porges: Polyvagal Theory and regulating the nervous system.      - Gary Chapman: The Five Love Languages.   4. Event Mentioned:      - First Annual Human Intimacy Conference (March 14-15, 2025).        - Featuring Brett Williams and 15 other clinicians specializing in overcoming betrayal trauma, addictive behaviors, and rebuilding relationships. More information to come!

The Affirming and Healing Balm of Acknowledgement   In this episode of “The Human Intimacy Podcast”, Dr. Kevin Skinner welcomes Kosta Petrogeorge, a long-time colleague and friend, to explore the powerful concept of acknowledgement in relationships. The conversation dives into how deeply seeing and acknowledging loved ones—through intentional words, actions, and moments—can heal emotional wounds, strengthen intimacy, and foster deeper connections.   Kosta shares poignant examples, including a scene from the film Dances with Wolves, where heartfelt acknowledgment powerfully affirms relationships. They discuss how couples navigating betrayal can intentionally reclaim spaces and relationships tarnished by infidelity or trauma, offering creative and therapeutic strategies. This includes a touching exercise to replace avoidance with an intentional ritual that fosters healing and repair.   Through real-life stories, Kosta and Dr. Skinner demonstrate that true acknowledgment transcends mere words—it is an intentional act of claiming and honoring those we love. They also explore the impact of missed acknowledgment, sharing insights on how unresolved moments from the past can be addressed and healed.   The episode concludes with everyday applications for acknowledgment, such as introducing loved ones with intention, greeting a spouse warmly, and practicing "wind in his hair" moments to affirm the value of those closest to us. Dr. Skinner leaves listeners with an inspiring reminder: We all have the choice to deepen our relationships through genuine acknowledgment.  

Exploring the Silent Struggle: Betrayed Men and Their Healing Journey with Dr. Jesse Piles    In this compelling episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner sits down with Dr. Jesse Piles, a PhD in humanities and a dedicated researcher, to discuss the often-overlooked experiences of betrayed men. Drawing from years of research and hundreds of conversations with betrayed husbands, Dr. Piles sheds light on the unique emotional and psychological impacts of infidelity on men. Topics include differences in how men and women process betrayal, societal perceptions of male infidelity recovery, and the significant role of sexual disgust in men's healing journeys. Dr. Piles emphasizes the need for open-minded listening and tailored support for betrayed men, challenging the narrative that men "just get over it." With insights from decades of scientific research, he highlights the unique barriers men face in seeking help and recovering from betrayal. This episode is a call to action to broaden the conversation around betrayal and develop resources that address men's specific experiences. Key Takeaways 1. Unique Male Experiences of Betrayal     - Men experience betrayal differently than women, with key emotions including sexual disgust and questions about meaning and legacy.      - Betrayed men often focus on two haunting questions: “What was my wife thinking?” and “What did she gain?”   2. Barriers to Seeking Help      - Men tend to isolate in difficulty and avoid discussing their emotions.      - Societal narratives and existing recovery models are often ill-suited to their experiences.   3. Differences in Infidelity Patterns      - Men and women betray at similar rates, but their motivations and emotional impacts differ.      - Women's infidelity often involves high neuroticism, while men's is linked to low agreeableness and conscientiousness. 4. Support Needs for Betrayed Men      - Listening with an open mind and without preconceived models is critical.      - Betrayed men prioritize family stability and often defer addressing their emotions to focus on protecting their families. --- Resources Discussed 1. Dr. Jesse Piles' Research      - Decades of scientific literature on infidelity, highlighting the disparity between research findings and public narratives.      - Analysis of men's experiences through lenses of cognitive awareness, sexual psychology, and societal norms. 2. Key Articles      - "Why Women Cheat" (2023/2024): Highlights the complexity of female infidelity from a biological perspective.      - Studies on Big Five Personality Traits: Examines the link between infidelity and personality traits like neuroticism and conscientiousness.   3. Support for Betrayed Men      - Research for Betrayed Men: A comprehensive resource offering blogs, articles, individual, and group support tailored to betrayed men.        - Website: [researchforbetrayedmen.com](http://researchforbetrayedmen.com)   Final Message   Dr. Jesse Piles encourages betrayed men to seek support and emphasizes that no two experiences are the same. Through open dialogue and research-backed insights, he aims to give betrayed men the voice and resources they need for healing.  For more information and support, visit [researchforbetrayedmen.com](http://researchforbetrayedmen.com).  

Understanding Anxiety: Tools for Managing Stress and Building Connection In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis dive into one of the most prevalent mental health challenges of our time—anxiety. As the holidays approach, many feel the weight of heightened emotions, family interactions, and personal stress. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn discuss the biology of anxiety, its relational impacts, and practical tools to manage it effectively. From understanding the role of the vagus nerve to employing techniques like breathing exercises, bilateral stimulation, and mental rehearsal, this episode equips listeners with actionable strategies to navigate anxiety and strengthen their connections during the holiday season and beyond. Resources Mentioned in the Episode:   1. Books and Theories      - The Polyvagal Theory by Dr. Stephen Porges      - Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Dr. Sue Johnson      - The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk      - Mindfulness for Beginners by Dr. Jon Kabat-Zinn   2. Techniques and Exercises      - Box Breathing: A simple technique to calm the nervous system.      - The Basic Exercise: A vagus nerve-stimulating exercise explained in the episode.      - Bilateral Stimulation: Gentle tapping or walking to help reset the nervous system.      - Vagus Nerve Massage: Techniques for self-soothing and relaxation.   3. Digital Tools and Protocols      - The Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) by Dr. Stephen Porges: A tool designed to regulate the nervous system.      - Mental Rehearsal and Visualization: Tools for preparing for anxiety-inducing scenarios.   4. Additional Support      - Human Intimacy Podcast Archive: Explore related episodes on emotional regulation and relational healing.      - Contact: Email your questions to questions@humanintimacy.com for tailored advice or resources.   5. Practical Tips for the Holidays:      - Use visualization to prepare for potentially stressful family interactions.      - Take short breaks during gatherings to reset and regulate anxiety.      - Limit exposure to sensationalized media that might increase stress.   This episode provides a compassionate and practical guide to understanding anxiety, offering tools to help listeners find safety within themselves and in their relationships.

Making Love and Other Non-Sexual Activities: Creating Connection in Every Relationship In episode 41 of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis redefine the concept of "making love," shifting it from a purely sexual context to an intentional act of creating connection and care in all relationships. Through personal stories, client experiences, and research insights, they explore how love is a choice and an action, emphasizing the importance of authenticity, psychological safety, and intentionality.   The discussion delves into the challenges of showing love after betrayal or during conflict and highlights practical tools for fostering connection, such as attuned communication, externalizing problems, and practicing presence. They also discuss the barriers that prevent love, including fear, resentment, and lack of safety, while encouraging listeners to reflect on their ability to make love by creating a nurturing environment.   Key takeaways include the importance of tone and body language in communication, the role of self-awareness in showing up authentically, and the need for self-care and external support during difficult times. The episode concludes with an inspiring invitation to “go make love” in all its forms, from small acts of kindness to moments of deep connection. --- Resources Discussed: 1. Barbara Fredrickson's Book, Love 2.0      - Explores the concept of love as a momentary connection rather than a fixed state, emphasizing micro-moments of positivity and connection. 2. Dan Siegel's Work on Feeling “Felt”     - Focuses on how attuned communication helps individuals feel deeply understood and validated in relationships. 3. Still Face Experiment by Dr. Edward Tronick      - A study highlighting the impact of nonverbal communication and emotional attunement on connection and attachment.   4. The Intimacy Pyramid (Dr. Skinner's Version)      - A framework for understanding different levels of intimacy, starting with psychological safety and moving through emotional, verbal, intellectual, and sexual connection. 5. Brett Williams Book, You Can Be Right or You Can Be Married     - Encourages couples to focus on collaboration rather than defensiveness, offering practical advice for fostering connection. 6. Radical Acceptance by Tara Brach      - Encourages individuals to reflect on how their demeanor and actions impact relationships, posing the question, “Do you make it easy for people to love you?” 7. Eye Contact Meditation      - A couples exercise focusing on deep, intentional eye contact to foster intimacy and connection. 8. Support from Trusted Relationships      - The importance of turning to trusted friends, family, or therapists to process emotions and find words before engaging in difficult conversations with a partner. By integrating these insights and tools into your daily life, you listeners can learn to make love a choice and a practice, fostering stronger, more authentic relationships.

Kevin Skinner is a big West Ham fan and also a Technical Director for a club in America. Dave & Ex talk to Kev about West Ham but also try and understand his role and see if we can draw any parallels to what Tim Steidten does at the club. Then we get news from Ex before they answer questions from patrons of The West Ham Way....To unlock the full show and a range of other benefits, you need to be a Patron of The West Ham Way. You can become one here: www.patreon.com/thewesthamwayThis Podcast was created and published by The West Ham Way. Views on this show are not necessarily shared by talkSPORT.@DaveWalkerWHU@ExWHUemployee. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Preparing for the Holidays: Connection, Self-Care, and Healthy Boundaries In episode 40 of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore how to prepare mentally and emotionally for the holiday season. They discuss the importance of connecting with loved ones, setting healthy boundaries, and taking steps to manage common holiday stressors. The hosts offer practical strategies for navigating challenging family dynamics, such as visualizing interactions and setting personal boundaries. They also emphasize the importance of nutrition and routine in maintaining mental and physical health during the holidays, sharing insights on how unhealthy eating habits can exacerbate stress and anxiety. Reflecting on the significance of those who have positively impacted our lives, Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn underscore the value of honoring loved ones, creating meaningful holiday rituals, and cherishing connections. They encourage listeners to embrace the holidays as a time for intentional connection, compassion, and even reconciliation, emphasizing that forgiveness and small acts of kindness can bring warmth and joy to both giver and receiver.    

Bridging the Divide: How Seeing Each Other Can Heal Relationships n this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis dive into the timely topic of conflict, both on the political stage and in personal relationships. As election season stirs emotions and divides deepen, they explore how viewing others with empathy, even in times of disagreement, can open doors to meaningful connection. Reflecting on the human tendency to see others as "they" rather than recognizing them as individuals with unique stories and struggles, Dr. Skinner shares insights on the importance of civil discourse and the healing power of truly seeing each other. With examples from their lives and professional experiences, they discuss tools for navigating conflict in a way that fosters understanding, compassion, and ultimately intimacy. This episode encourages listeners to embrace the multifaceted nature of people around them, whether at home, in politics, or in society at large.

Unlearning: Breaking Patterns That Prevent Us from Connection and Intimacy Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis discuss breaking subconscious patterns that prevent true connection. MaryAnn's story about reconnecting with her neighbors serves as a reminder of the power of intentional actions to foster intimacy and reduce isolation. Through examples and references, they offer tools to identify, unlearn, and reshape habits that hinder connection, emphasizing the importance of self-awareness, purpose, and supportive accountability. Outline and Resources: 1. Understanding Patterns and the Need for Change    - Resource: Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself by Dr. Joe Dispenza — Dr. Dispenza's work on how to consciously rewire automatic behaviors through intentional change. 2. Steps for Effective Change: Identify, Act, Evaluate      - Resource: The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg — The concept of keystone habits that catalyze broader changes in life. 3. Tools for Change and Resilience Building      - Habit Stacking: Introducing small, progressive changes that build into lasting habits.    - Window of Tolerance by Dr. Dan Siegel — Expanding resilience by gradually increasing what one can comfortably handle.    - Resource: Dr. Carol Dweck's Mindset — Encourages adopting a growth mindset to embrace change and overcome limiting beliefs. 4. Conflict Patterns in Relationships      - Resource: Hold Me Tight by Dr. Sue Johnson — On recognizing and disrupting the “dance” of recurring conflict patterns in relationships. 5. Creating a Supportive Community and Accountability      - Flubbing (phone snubbing) — Discussed as an example of behaviors that limit presence and connection.    - Invitation to Identify One Desired Change — An exercise for listeners to set an actionable goal. 6. Introducing the "Change 2.0" Course    - Dr. Skinner's upcoming course offering structured support for individuals, couples, and families to create lasting change.

Breaking the Silence: Addressing Abuse as a Barrier to Human Intimacy In this powerful episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis tackle one of the most difficult topics in relationships—abuse in its various forms. They explore how abuse, whether emotional, verbal, physical, psychological, or financial, acts as a significant barrier to human intimacy. The conversation delves into why people may minimize or avoid labeling abusive behaviors and emphasizes the importance of recognizing these patterns for relationship healing. Both hosts offer practical insights, real-life examples, and resources for individuals who may be experiencing abuse or engaging in harmful behaviors. The episode also touches on the psychological impact of abuse, such as gaslighting, and the challenges of breaking free from abusive cycles. Key Points: 1. Understanding Abuse in Relationships:    - Abuse, in any form, erodes the foundation of intimacy in relationships.    - Many individuals struggle to recognize or label abusive behaviors due to shame, fear of change, or minimizing their partner's actions.    - Abuse can be verbal, emotional, physical, financial, sexual, spiritual, or psychological, each contributing to significant harm in different ways. 2. The Cycle of Abuse:    - Dr. Skinner describes the cycle of abuse, where abusers often promise change after an incident, leading to a temporary honeymoon period before the cycle repeats.    - Individuals in abusive relationships often hope for the abuser's love or change, making it hard to leave. 3. The Role of Gaslighting:    - Psychological abuse, particularly gaslighting, is highlighted as one of the most insidious forms of manipulation.    - Gaslighting leads individuals to doubt their perceptions of reality, increasing trauma and emotional distress.    - The episode discusses how gaslighting is linked to elevated PTSD symptoms in betrayed partners. 4. Red Flags in Relationships:    - Common signs of abuse include control, manipulation, isolation, and secrecy.     - "Sequestering," or preventing a partner from interacting with others, is a deep form of manipulation that limits support and reality checks. 5. Hope and Healing:    - Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn emphasize that change is possible through acknowledgment and treatment. Both victims and abusers can benefit from support systems and professional intervention.    - Resources such as support groups, therapy, and hotlines are crucial for those in abusive situations. Resources Discussed: 1. National Domestic Violence Hotline:      - 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)      - Provides support for individuals experiencing domestic violence. 2. Books:    - Facing Codependency by Pia Melody: Discusses codependency and abuse in relationships.    - The Betrayal Bond by Patrick Carnes: Focuses on trauma bonds in abusive relationships.    - The Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays: Explores betrayal trauma and its connection to gaslighting and emotional abuse. 3. Therapeutic Approaches:    - Addressing the "Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse" in relationships—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling (based on John Gottman's work).    - Developing strategies to manage anger and prevent abusive

When We Freeze: Understanding and Healing from Traumatic Shutdowns In this episode, MaryAnn Michaelis and Dr. Kevin Skinner discuss the profound impact of freezing as a response to trauma. They explore how life events, particularly those involving emotional or physical trauma, can leave individuals stuck, carrying the weight of unresolved experiences for decades. This discussion highlights how freezing, more than fight or flight, can be especially traumatizing, as it leaves the individual feeling helpless or numb. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn delve into the psychological and somatic aspects of freezing, emphasizing the importance of creating a safe environment for healing and the steps necessary to get unstuck. Key Concepts Discussed: 1. The Freeze Response – A natural reaction to overwhelming events that can leave people stuck emotionally and physically. 2. Somatic Experience – How trauma manifests in the body, drawing on the works of Peter Levine and Pat Ogden. 3. Traumatic Reenactment – The concept that individuals may unconsciously seek to resolve past trauma by repeating harmful patterns. 4. Neuroplasticity and Action – Insights from neuroscience that emphasize taking action as a way to create new neural pathways and move forward from trauma. 5. Polyvagal Theory – Understanding the autonomic nervous system's role in traumatic responses, particularly the dorsal vagal shutdown, and its impact on emotional regulation. 6. Hope and Healing – The concept that learned helplessness can be unlearned, fostering hope and creating new possibilities for recovery. Resources Discussed: 1. Books:      - In an Unspoken Voice by Dr. Peter Levine      - The Body Keeps the Score by Dr. Bessel van der Kolk      - Hope Circuit by Dr. Martin Seligman      - Polyvagal Theory in Therapy by Deb Dana 2. Therapeutic Techniques:      - EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing)      - ART (Accelerated Resolution Therapy)      - Somatic experience exercises to release trauma stored in the body. 3. Tools for Self-Regulation:      - Creating a list of actions to take when feeling stuck (e.g., listening to music, breathing exercises, journaling).      - Co-regulation by reaching out to trusted individuals for support during moments of freeze. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own experiences with freezing, consider professional support, and take small steps toward action and healing.

Breaking Through Barriers: How to Create Lasting Change in Life and In this solo episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner shares insights into the change process, drawn from his experiences as a therapist. He addresses common questions such as, "Why can't I change?" and "Why is this so hard?" and explores why we often feel stuck in life and relationships. Dr. Skinner outlines the four core elements we can change—thoughts, emotions, behaviors, and beliefs—offering practical strategies for creating lasting change. He shares a personal story about overcoming health challenges, emphasizing the importance of preparation, unlearning negative patterns, and adopting new habits. Through concepts like habit stacking and accountability, he provides actionable steps for listeners to create breakthroughs in their personal and relational lives. Dr. Skinner also introduces his Change 2.0 course, encouraging listeners to join him in a transformative journey to start the new year with purpose and clear goals. Resources Discussed in This Episode: 1. Change 2.0 Course: Dr. Skinner's online course designed for individuals, couples, and families looking to create sustainable, positive changes in their lives. The course includes goal setting, habit formation, and accountability to foster lasting growth.      - Start date: November 2024 (with preparatory sessions in November and December).      - Location: [Human Intimacy Change 2.0 Course](https://www.humanintimacy.com/course/change-together). 2. Habit Stacking: A strategy where you build new habits by attaching them to existing positive habits. For example, listening to audiobooks while walking, or flossing right after brushing your teeth. 3. Accountability: Emphasizing the importance of sharing your goals with others—such as family members or in group settings like 12-step programs—to increase your likelihood of success. 4. Journaling and SMART Goals: Tools to increase awareness of your progress and create clear, actionable plans. SMART goals (Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-bound) help you stay focused and on track. 5. Recommended Green Smoothie Recipe:      - Ingredients: Spinach, half a banana, frozen mango.      - Benefits: Dr. Skinner's favorite healthy breakfast option to fuel positive physical change. 6. Wendy's Apple Pecan Salad: One of Dr. Skinner's go-to meals for maintaining a healthy diet while creating change in his life. Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own change journey, considering what they need to unlearn, how to implement new behaviors, and the importance of changing core beliefs to sustain long-term progress.

Navigating the Early Stages of Sexual Betrayal Trauma: Understanding, Healing, and Support In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and his colleague MaryAnn Michaelis delve into the emotional and psychological impacts that arise immediately after discovering a partner's sexual betrayal. The conversation centers on the shock and disorientation many betrayed partners experience, and the varied ways they respond—either by isolating themselves or sharing their pain publicly. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn emphasize the importance of recognizing and addressing betrayal trauma, providing validation for those suffering from overwhelming emotions such as confusion, anxiety, and shame. They share insights from personal experiences, research, and clinical practices, highlighting the significance of qualified therapeutic support and proper disclosure processes. Key strategies for coping include gathering information, orienting oneself to the new reality, setting boundaries, and seeking trauma-informed therapy and support groups. Dr. Skinner also introduces the 100 Days to Healing course, designed to provide education, validation, and practical steps toward recovery from betrayal trauma. Resources Mentioned: Books: Opening Up by Dr. James Pennebaker (on the effects of keeping trauma and stories hidden) What Can I Do About Me? by Rhyll Croshaw (on navigating the shame and isolation caused by sexual addiction and betrayal) The Betrayal Bond by Patrick Carnes (on understanding and healing from betrayal trauma) Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal by Dr. Kevin Skinner (on healing from the trauma caused by sexual betrayal) 2. Therapeutic Tools: EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) ART (Accelerated Resolution Therapy)** (trauma-focused treatments for PTSD symptoms) Disclosure Process: Properly addressing the details of the betrayal with professional guidance to avoid staggered disclosures and foster healing. Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSAT) and Certified Partner Trauma Therapists (CPTT): Recommended professionals for working through sexual betrayal trauma. 3. Courses and Support: 100 Days to Healing Course (available at humanintimacy.com): A video-based course offering education and strategies to cope with betrayal trauma. Support Groups: Highlighted as critical for connecting with others who have experienced betrayal, offering validation, resources, and a sense of community. 4. Podcast Contact:   Email: Questions@humanintimacy.com (for listener advice and sharing experiences).

In this episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and his colleague Marianne Michaelis explore the concept of confession as a means of healing relationships and releasing personal burdens. They discuss how fear, shame, and secrecy can create emotional and physiological stress, often leading to isolation. By sharing deeply held secrets and engaging in radical honesty, individuals can experience relief, connection, and personal growth. The conversation emphasizes the importance of being vulnerable and honest in relationships while acknowledging the complexities and need for thoughtful preparation, particularly in situations of betrayal. They highlight the benefits of confession for emotional healing, how it can improve physiological well-being, and its potential to strengthen relationships. Both hosts stress the importance of creating a safe, empathetic space for such disclosures, cautioning against impulsive revelations that could cause further harm. The episode concludes with practical advice for listeners on how to approach confession, emphasizing that true healing comes when individuals are willing to be fully seen and supported. Resources Discussed Here is a list of resources discussed in the podcast: 1. Dr. James Pennebaker's Book – Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions    - This book explores how disclosing emotional experiences can improve mental and physical health. 2. Brené Brown's Work on Shame and Vulnerability    - Referenced for her concept of shame thriving in secrecy, silence, and judgment, and how the antidote is vulnerability and openness. 3. Anna Lembke's Book – Dopamine Nation    - Mentioned for insights on radical honesty and its role in promoting self-awareness, improving emotional regulation, and fostering intimate human connections. 4. Gavin de Becker's Book – The Gift of Fear    - Referenced for his concept that fear evolves and shifts as we face it, helping to break down barriers of fear in relationships. 5. HumanIntimacy.com    - Hosts Dr. Kevin Skinner and Marianne Michaelis mentioned their website, which provides free resources, past webinars, and additional tools on intimacy and relationship healing. These resources offer further reading on vulnerability, shame, honesty, and their impact on healing and relationships.

The Power of Being Seen: Cultivating Connection and Attunement in Relationships In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore the importance of being "seen" and "felt" in relationships. They discuss how modern life often hinders deep connection and emphasize the need for self-awareness and attunement to others' emotions. Using stories and insights from experts like Dan Siegel, they highlight how to genuinely connect through eye contact, active listening, and emotional presence. The episode concludes with an assignment for listeners to practice tuning into others, fostering deeper relationships in the process. Key Concepts Discussed: - Discusses the impact of modern technology on human connection and the desire to be "seen." - Explores Dan Siegel's concept of making others "feel felt" and its importance in relationships. - Shares personal stories to illustrate the challenges and rewards of being present and attuned to others. - Emphasizes self-awareness as a prerequisite for meaningful connection with others. - Introduces tools like body scanning and reflective questioning to help identify personal emotions and needs. - Provides an assignment for listeners to actively practice attunement with others and share their experiences. -

The Secrets of Successful Couples: Bid Attempts, Communication, and Emotional Connection In this episode of the “Human Intimacy Podcast”, Dr. Kevin Skinner explores the secrets of successful couples, sharing key insights from relationship researchers like Dr. John Gottman and Dr. Sue Johnson. Dr. Skinner delves into the importance of recognizing and responding to "bid attempts"—those small gestures couples make to seek connection—and highlights how couples can either turn toward, away from, or against their partner's bids, affecting the relationship's overall health. He continues by explaining that successful couples practice effective communication, managing conflict respectfully, offering emotional support, and incorporating healthy physical touch. These couples are also emotionally attuned to each other's needs, express appreciation and gratitude, and prioritize connection through small, everyday actions. Dr. Skinner encourages listeners to reflect on their own relationships, scoring themselves on their ability to turn toward bid attempts, communicate effectively, offer emotional support, and express gratitude. The episode emphasizes that these core principles, when practiced consistently, can significantly improve relationship satisfaction and help couples overcome challenges together. Resources Mentioned: https://www.humanintimacy.com/course/test-your-relationship-extra A special thanks to McKay Hatch for allowing us to share his musical talent.  

#NHRA #dragracing #usnationals Toyota U.S. Nationals winners Austin Prock and Aaron Stanfield join WFO Radio following winning the biggest drag race in the world! Austin Prock will go into detail about his dominant Funny Car victory for John Force Racing. Pro Stock winner Aaron Stanfield will give the details of his historic double win in Factory X. Flex Jet Factory Showdown winner Kevin Skinner will stop by to talk about his explosive final round win, and the NHRA's Alan Reinhart will recap the event with WFO Radio host, Joe Castello. Interviews on WFO Radio have become part of winning for drivers in the NHRA Drag Racing Series. As part of the National Hot Rod Association's Track Announcing team, host Joe Castello brings insights directly from the world of professional NHRA Mission Foods and Lucas Oil Series Drag Racing. NHRA results and news are featured in weekly livestreams, NHRA's Alan Reinhart and other NHRA stars including John Force, Ron Capps, Antron Brown, Steve Torrence, Justin Ashley, Josh Hart, Austin Prock, Greg Anderson, and Erica Enders all make frequent stops on the WFO Radio Podcast and livestream. MERCH: https://www.teepublic.com/stores/wfo-radio?ref_id=24678 PATREON: https://www.patreon.com/WFORadio APPLE: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/wfo-radio-podcast/id449870843?ls=1 SPOTIFY: https://open.spotify.com/show/0oo5mn0E3VmfhRCTHyLQIS GOOGLE: https://podcasts.google.com/feed/aHR0cDovL2ZlZWRzLmZlZWRidXJuZXIuY29tL1dmb1JhZGlv

Facing the Fear of Intimacy: Understanding and Overcoming the Barriers to Connection In this heartfelt episode of The Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and co-host Amy Andrus dive into the common emotions surrounding the fear of intimacy. They explore how past experiences, childhood memories, and critical self-talk can create blind spots that hinder our ability to connect deeply with others. Throughout the discussion, they provide insights into identifying and addressing these fears, emphasizing the importance of self-compassion and vulnerability. Whether you're navigating trust issues in a current relationship or seeking to understand your own reluctance to connect, this episode offers practical advice and emotional support to help you take the first steps toward meaningful human intimacy. Assignment: After listening to this episode, take some time to reflect on your own experiences with fear of intimacy. Grab a piece of paper and write down the earliest memories you have related to feeling disconnected or fearful in relationships. What thoughts or emotions come up for you when you think about these moments? Consider when you first started feeling this way and how these fears may be impacting your current relationships. This self-reflection exercise can be a powerful first step toward understanding and overcoming the barriers to deeper connections in your life.

  The Power of Social Connection: Healing and Thriving Through Support In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis discuss the vital importance of social connections for our physical and mental well-being. They explore the transformative impact of community, support groups, and trusted relationships, emphasizing that humans are inherently wired for connection. Through research and personal stories, they highlight how social support can help individuals recover from trauma, betrayal, and isolation. The hosts encourage listeners to seek out meaningful connections, whether through groups, past relationships, or safe individuals, as a critical step toward healing and thriving.

Breaking the Cycle: How to Resolve Relationship Problems and Build Connection In this episode of the Human Intimacy Podcast, Dr. Kevin Skinner and Amy Andrus explore how couples can break free from destructive relationship patterns that keep them stuck. They introduce the concept of the Zeigarnik effect—the tendency of the mind to cling to unresolved issues—and how it often plays out in relationships, causing repeated conflicts. The hosts discuss practical strategies for identifying and disrupting these negative cycles, such as deep listening, self-reflection, and small, consistent changes in behavior. They emphasize the importance of gaining insight into one's own emotions and those of one's partner to foster understanding and compassion. Whether you're feeling hopeless or simply want to improve your relationship, this episode offers valuable tools and perspectives to help you create a healthier, more connected partnership. The podcast emphasizes that successful relationships require effort, introspection, and a willingness to break old habits and create new, healthier ones.