This is the Average Daily Life by Ava

One more week left to drive recklessly in school zones.

I'd rather be a whole bong rip than a drag.

Started the day with two shots of tequila and now I'm at the gym. Balance.

Embrace The Demons

I'm not anti-social, I'm anti-idiot. It's definitely a thing.

You can always count on me to bring my famous recipe of "bag of ice" to your summer cookout.

Looking for that one weirdo who's willing to hold up my tits this summer. Cause, fuck this heat.

I fold my worries into paper planes and turn them into flying fucks.

It will take you little, to no time to figure out who's actually worth your time.

Everything you're looking for is looking for you too.

Cocaine is cheaper than baby formula.

If I had a penis, I would sling-shot popcorn from my erection to my mouth.

Mention someone for no reason just to disturb them.

I'll take a funny guy over a pretty boy with slick words any day.

Dove chocolate tastes way better than their soap.

Might fuck around and reply “who married you?” when people say their divorce is final.

Don't study me. You won't graduate.

If she starts laughing in the middle of an argument, RUN.

*Slaps My Own Ass* Anything you want babe

I measure whiskey by the mouthful.

WAR puts LOVE into focus.

I'm terrible at sit ups and push ups But my fuck ups are on point

Bed bath and beyond except it's just a list of all the places I'm gonna let you fuck me this week.

Drinks battery acid, just to feel something.

Love yourself enough to have the courage to not settle. That's when the adventure begins.

The time is always right to do what is right!

my favorite winter activity is cuddlefucking

Go easy on yourself - everything is fucked

None of this new year, new you bullshit. If you made it through this last year, keep on keeping on. You are doing great!

The space between christmas and new years is known as the taint.

In the winter, I call my boobs snow globes because they're cold and fun to shake.

“With all due respect, is the polite version of ‘listen here you little shit'”

Turkey is the Bitch Meat

Some people just need to be put DOWN!

You just never know when it comes to People!

I see a little silhouette of a man…

Why pay to go to a haunted house when smoking weed and going to the grocery store is free?

What's a charcuterie board?

Haunted House idea: A poorly lit Walmart, littered with people you haven't seen since High School.

Path To Enlightenment @handysfantasies

Slapping Asses and Having Fun!